Tag Archives: eating

616. Savoring the Moment

Or enjoying living and substantiating one’s day to day living

I listened to the audio It is Not About Oneness but About Living  and what caught my attention of it is how I’ve been reflecting on what it means to live and how we’ve extrapolated this word ‘living’ and have elevated it to something separate from ourselves, almost turning it into something that we are supposed to ‘get to do’ someday, or get to ‘attain’ somehow ‘out there’, instead of realizing that we are already IT, we are already that life and we are that potential that we have been dreaming/thinking about, we just haven’t been LIVING as it. So what does that mean?

I see how daunting it can be to look at ‘life’ and ‘living’ and try and substance these words in an ‘utmost potential’ type of idea right away with ideas, projects, dreams ‘out there’ in the future… and so we spend most of our time thinking, wishing, hoping, dreaming, planning of a moment where we can ‘finally live’ instead of realizing that we are already living, and we are wasting those moments chasing a moment that doesn’t even belong to us.

I’ve also been recently listening a lot to Jordan Peterson and something he explained in one of his discussions with Joe Rogan is how living is about all of those moments and things we repeat on a daily basis, all of those hours that we spend sharing our meals with our partners/family, all of the time spent with our children, all of the time spent on cooking, cleaning, grooming ourselves, going to work, having the normal day to day activities that we many times become frustrated with, tired of or even resist doing as a basic part of living a life in this world.

This caught my attention and particularly correlates to how I’ve been deciding to take on my day to day and really get to live my routine in a different way, because in the past I was resisting to do the basics, there was a time where I came to loathe having to eat, having to take a shower, having to do the basics for living, seeing them as a drag, a waste of time. So I had been working with seeing routine as something that assists me in structuring my day, yet it still only became a doing in a structured manner, a ‘getting things done’ only – but not yet really living, which is where I’m focusing on now.

I am learning and practicing to imprint me/ enjoy myself more in the moments of doing the day to day thing from the moment I wake up, to getting dressed, to making coffee and breakfast meals and genuinely enjoying sharing those moments and the expression that I decide to create of me while preparing meals, enjoying to decide what I’ll wear in the day, enjoying the simplicity of communicating and sharing the basic living activities; enjoying attending to my responsibilities and integrate myself fully into it to get it well done, to not half ass it or do it with the ‘least effort possible,’ but really live the decision and realization of: this is my moment, this is what’s here in front of me, for me to do so I do it the best way possible.

Interestingly enough this has also currently been including the dimension of the ability to enjoy these day to day routines, and even if the activities are basically ‘the same’ day after day, I am realizing how I can truly decide to be present and enjoy the living of these activities and discovering how it is a decision based on – in my case – doing things the best way that I can. To me that’s what satisfies me and it’s even better if I get to share these moments with others or do something that I know will benefit/support others at the same time.

In essence this also correlates to another very cool interview on Eqafe.com A Well Made Moment is a Well Made Self which I definitely could relate to and enjoyed for the same reason, where this emphasis on what we do moment by moment and doing it well, doing it to the best of our capacity is what substantiates and gives meaning to our lives.

This might seem very obvious or simplistic, but I’ve also been reflecting a lot on how many times I projected ‘my life’ as something I’d be doing in a future, way out there at some point in my life where I could finally say ‘I’m living, I’m satisfied with myself’ and kind of building this bubble of ‘greatness’ as ‘living’. I’ve been instead learning to actually appreciate the day to day moments that we take for granted, just like someone reminded me today, we take for granted the ease with which we can do ‘the day to day’ things and forget about the fact that it is a marvel that we are alive, that we can have food in our fridge and have the ability to prepare these meals, to have running water, to have a roof over our heads, to live in an environment where we can walk around and enjoy ourselves in spite of the regular things that may go astray in our societies.

I stopped for a moment to realize how true that is and how many times I had taken for granted the simplicity of enjoying being able to eat, to take a shower, to walk around, to chat with people, to enjoy hanging out with people that you enjoy being with… there are so many things that in the past I would experience as things I just have to ‘deal with’ or ‘swallow’, kind of experiencing them as these little ‘obstacles’ that I had to get through while ‘looking forward’ to something ‘more’ or ‘greater’ in my life out there/somewhere else and far away in the future. That means, I wasn’t really living, but pursuing something outside of myself while dismissing the actual life and living that happens every single moment we are here.

So this is more like a reminder for myself of how many times I’ve almost defined these basic aspects of living mentioned above that are part of my ‘living routine’ as a waste of time or ‘loss of time’ or ‘tedious things’ to do and how I am currently deciding to enjoy them, to be creative in them, to make them interesting based on how I decide to express myself while doing them all.

What I’ve noticed is that my satisfaction does emerge from doing things the best possible way, to add that spark of enjoyment and liveliness to what I do, even if it’s ‘the same’ day after day apparently, I’m learning to enjoy the simplicity of these moments in fact, which again I didn’t use to do before.

I am more and more realizing that life is happening in every moment, it is only us that may be stuck in our heads in plans, ideas, hopes, dreams of ‘what our lives can be’ instead of actually living and enjoying the totality of what we are doing in the moment, no matter how repetitive, how simplistic, how ‘monotonous’ it might seem – all of these adjectives in fact exist as experiences in our minds that become the way that we live out our day to day, always in our heads longing for ‘something more’ instead of realizing this is it! This is where we are, this is what we got, we got ourselves, we have the absolute capacity to decide how to live the moment.

So that’s how living the best that we can in everything we do actually changes the world, because we are the matter that matters and shapes the world – and yes I take this quote from that initial audio I quoted at the beginning of this blog, but it also correlates to what I’ve been hearing from Jordan Peterson – which confirms what we’ve been walking and sharing within the Desteni process – on the importance of focusing on the individual change to create social change, instead of the other way around, which is where people get lost in social justice movements, identity politics and finding culprits for why their lives can’t be as fulfilling as they compare others’ to be. 

Living out day to day to the best of our ability is a real gift that we have and that I’m deciding to stop taking for granted or ‘zombing-by’ anymore. I’m grateful also for the people that have assisted me to realize how much of my life, my context and situation I had taken for granted and was getting too lost in life happening ‘out there’ and instead get back to what it means to be in physicality, its potential and enjoyment, in its simplicity.

What has emerged for me to work with/look at and fine tune from practicing this? I noticed that there is this underlying anxiety that is constantly there as a form of ‘rushing’ from all the times I have imprinted an almost ‘anxious’ way of existing where I used to take these day to day living activities as ‘obstacles,’ as things I just had to ‘rush through’ in my day to day to get to ‘do’ things, to ‘be productive’ and all other kinds of things that I regarded as my life’s mission, missing out enjoying the actual living that happens in every moment that I’m doing the day to day activities and routine.

Sometimes we do need reminders to slow down, to enjoy the ordinary in life, to enjoy the moment, to decide to live it and create it as if it was truly ‘the last day of our lives’ which I came to discover in a rather interesting way at the same time with having the idea of leaving a certain place and I made the decision to ‘enjoy the last moments’ there and then I asked myself ‘well, why am I not living this way every day? Why did I have to have this idea of ‘leaving’ as a crutch for me to decide to see things differently, to enjoy my day to day in a genuine way?’ And that was in fact a key point for me to start appreciating my day to day routine because of seeing my day to day with a different set of eyes so to speak, and I’m quite grateful then that I decided to take this new way of living the ‘day to day’ now, because it makes living much more enjoyable and not only that, but I am more aware of the expression that I can imprint in everything that I am doing, more aware of the kind of words I’m living in the matter that I am, and so making sure I matter in the basics, in the ‘little things’ that I do as part of my day to day living.

So that’s something to try out, to live everyday as if it was your ‘last day’ and then see how to integrate that into one’s day to day living as a new way of living – of course not with the fear of loss or fear of dying or whatever else – but as if it was truly one’s last chance to fully enjoy that meal that one likes eating, fully enjoying that cup of coffee, that walk out in the streets, that going to the movies, that doing our tasks and job the best that we can, that simple conversation with someone that we can enjoy communicating with, that best version of ourselves that can interact with others, enjoying the basic elements of living and living responsibly with it all.

I don’t intend to sound all ‘blissful’ and magical here, lol – because this entails actual doing, actual dedication, actual focus and detail into what one does because giving or creating that best of ourselves in every moment requires that, and that’s what I am deciding to integrate as part of what makes me fulfilled, satisfied on a daily basis, savoring the moment if you will instead of living more in my head and waiting for ‘better times’ in the future – nope, instead I realize I’m here, I decide what I make of it = I decide how I live myself, that’s my essential creative power.

Thanks for reading.

 

 savoring

 

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276. Why Do We LOVE FREE Stuff?

Both words Love and Free entail the utmost fallacy and life-abuse, yes, keep reading and you’ll understand why.

 

“Social change organization have been marginalized by the idea that support must be FREE as they give support FREE–but in fact it is subsidized by corporations to be able to provide FREE stuff –This addiction to FREE STUFF is ensuring that the 99% cannot stand up and fund change –Every one is trapped in self interest where FREE STUFF determine decisions — Some common sense that a group must be funded should be realized if change is ever to become a global solution –as long as value is equal to FREE STUFF, the brainwashing trap all in the prison of Money Bottom of Form” – Bernard Poolman

 

This is an Eye-Opening statement that we usually obviously have mostly ignored wherein we have become so used to falling for all the ‘free stuff’ and believe that there are actual ‘free’ things in life. We obviously ignore that there is no-thing in this world that can be carried out without having a point of consumption/extraction/ work/ actions/ time that leads to a certain consequence. This is how whenever people say ‘Hey, watch Zeitgeist!’ and point out their solution being ‘burning all the money/ eradicating the money system’ is a clear indication that brainwashing has been quite deep to understand the implications of what it means to pay for something as a process of acknowledging/ understanding of the resources, processes and labor that took place to create such ‘thing’ that then becomes ‘free’. Sure, the Earth don’t charge us Money for what is grown here, however the ecosystems run through natural processes wherein certainly a lot of life and death processes take place, which obviously imply consumption, relationships, deterioration of the environment which is now carrying all the effects of all these activities lived-out by the inhabitants – the effects of this is demonstrating what happens when we  break the natural cycles of this physical reality in order to establish quantum time mind-desires on a space-time reality where things take Time and actual Work to develop. This is the consequence of implementing our mind-reality upon physical reality: absolute destruction and a constant unstopping depletion of life on Earth, within this, removing Money from the equation can only lead to further unawareness of the actual forces that have made of our current system seemingly sustainable, which is human labor along with the resources that are certainly ‘not for free’ as we’ve explained just now.

 

The way we have been educated is to believe in ‘Freedom’ and as such this libertinage leads to the idea/belief of ‘Free Stuff’ that is a perfect and suitable concept for a capitalist system that promised freedom through consumption – you can watch the Century of Self for self-education purposes and understand the role of Public Relations as the actual cogwheels that use the mind-ingrained patterns to create a sense of ‘independence’ and ‘empowerment’ through buying/ consuming from where this whole idea of Freedom comes from in order to in fact Sell More/ Consume more – did it work? Just look around yourself and this entire world, of course it did which is only possible due to us having been ignorant of the actual forces at work within/as our own mind.

 

If wee look at the tactics to create junkies/ drug addicts, the dealer first gives a ‘free sample’ to the person as a bait in order to expand the clientele, since there is quite a high percentage of certainty that the person will come back for more, this time obviously there won’t be any ‘free stuff’ to take. I place this example to make more obvious the implications of how we believe that receiving free stuff is ‘cool’ without measuring the actual agenda behind such belief and ignoring the fact that nothing is ever really benevolent and ‘free’ and as such, it should never be valued as something ‘truly positive’ in our consumerist society since no-product/ no-thing that is given ‘for free’ is devoid of being an actual product of physical and logistic processes that involve a production process in order to get to be something that can be ‘given for free.’ This should already make it clear that ‘free stuff’ is a delusion.

 

When we look at sales and how we believe that things are in fact ‘cheaper’ or ‘on sale,’  we in fact ignore that the retail prices of things are usually hundreds of times more than the actual cost of production – which is usually done and paid as ‘slave labor/ cheap pay’ and as such, the owner deciding to earn a ‘little less’ to sell more through placing things “on sale” is just another tactic to in fact get rid of all the merchandise to get all the new stuff in store and continue selling at ‘normal prices’ just because it is ‘new stuff’ and ‘no longer on sale’ – Great Lies. Again: there is no ‘real benevolence’ or positivity in ‘free stuff’ if you actually look at what makes it possible for you to even become aware of such ‘free stuff.’

 

Now, in terms of us at Desteni being a a group that was funded by people that understand the implications of being Equal in all ways within this world and process toward change that implies being Equal to the System that we all live in, it is obvious that we are not exempt of using money to survive and continue expanding just like any other person/business that requires money to live. We understand how the system works and this is why we are providing Education such as the Desteni I Process and educational material at Eqafe in order to continue expanding the already 6 years of providing unconditional support to any being within the internet at the Desteni Forum, through all our blogs/vlogs in our Journey To Life and the free courses like the Desteni Lite Process. All of these process imply the dedication of a full time job- certainly implying More time than your regular 9-5 job, a lot of preparation and financial stability in order to be well fed, well educated and having the available time to support more beings, because we understand that the Key to Self Change is through Education, and that’s what we currently provide as well as the solution for a global change that we are currently busy implementing as the Equal Money Capitalism proposal. All of this implies having just what any other human being on this current world system has in order to Live Well: the necessary income to have the available time to provide such services is not given just by ‘spreading self support’ and just consuming air to breathe – that’s obviously Not how it works.

 

If we look at a ‘spiritual teacher’ and an example is here,you’ll hear how it’s fairly easy to link a positive message to self-promotion for meditation and all other forms of psychic abilities, intuition and ‘connecting with your angels,’ which we all know is all bullshit and using blatant tactics to sell some made-up services that people pay for within a self-enlightened interest mode. This seen as ‘okay’ because ‘it’s stuff that you want to hear’ and as such is considered positive, the same way we believe candies are positive and fun and believe this is so until kids turn hyperactive and show early cavities in their teeth, along with elevated levels of sugar – is that real fun and treats for our children?

I mean, if we wanted to make easy money by telling lies and speaking what people Like and Want to hear, we could be making great money – but, since we are speaking the reality of this world and providing tools for self support that imply no miracles and magical acts, people then are turned off because we all want this quick fix, easy-doings type of solutions wherein all that is realized is how we have become so used to our drive-through lifestyle wherein we literally just want to drive-through, ask for our order, get what we want in a few minutes and pay a few bucks for a process that does not involve only the ‘final product’ that you consume, but all the forces at work in order to make it possible for it to exist and as all ‘fast food’ and McDonald’s solutions, this implies animal abuse, labor abuse, exploitation, unhealthy foods that cause illnesses and diseases as well as certain sugar addictions that are not that ‘hard to quit’ once people believe it’s better to ‘buy McDonald’s than cooking fresh food at home.’ This here is the definition of  self-accepted slavery, isn’t it? This only an example that can be extended to virtually any other job in the world that we all depend on.

 

So, we want to create change but we want to give no money to fund it? How does that work? It’s plain to see that virtually everything we benefit from implies a process where money is involved, everything we wear, eat, use on a daily basis is money, the houses, the cars, the so called ‘free areas’ implied money to pay for the labor to build them, education, even growing food is currently not a ‘free act’ either since you have to Buy the seeds and the necessary nutriments to fertilize the Earth, pay for the water to water your crops, etc. We haven’t educated ourselves to understand the processes and actual work-force and resources-used to generate a sustainable system. Yet, we only learn to complain whenever something goes up in prices and are always waiting for ‘luvin’ the free stuff, the sales, the bargains and make ‘great deals’ with that. Right.

 

I am realizing to what extent I had been brainwashed with regards to money, how within certain contexts we make it ‘okay’ to pay for things and for others we believe that we should ‘have it for free,’ because we tend to look at the ‘final product’ and disregard all the amount of mouths fed, all the resources used, the time and education that a person requires in order to create a certain piece of product/ service that is provided. What’s more fascinating is how we even believe that organizations that are determined to Change the system should charge No money at all –how is such thing possible considering that money is the one thing that has enabled us to be in the current position of being educated beings around the world that are committed to fund for a change in this reality – otherwise we would be as voice-less as the 2+ billions of people that we are in fact standing up for, to create and establish a world system that In fact creates a correction from the very root of the flawed structure that we have all accepted ‘as is’ to finally benefit Them as well, the voiceless, the uneducated.

 

What’s more interesting and absolutely fascinating is that all the Education and material at Desteni and Eqafe explain precisely the keys that enable you to understand how change must take place, why we have to be In the system to create a change, where is the ‘problem’ stemming from and how to walk the correction beginning at an individual level. There is No other group in the world that provides the explanations from the very beginning of human civilization and even before time was created in order to understand how and why we are here in this current ‘mess’ we’ve all learned to complain about but never realize our self responsibility toward it,  how and why we have gotten ourselves to this current process of crisis and how Change must be funded with the very same money that we have used to abuse and enfilade beings to win the ‘war of life’ and abuse everyone else on the way.

 

So, the same way we have spoken of freedom being a fallacy and a concept word that sounds as good as ‘love,’ we expose the same with regards to ‘Free Stuff’ that constitute a fallacy in fact since there will always be mouths to feed, resources to consume and work-force-time directed to create such ‘free stuff.’ We can instead ask ourselves what type of enslavement are we accepting and allowing when expecting things to ‘be free’ instead of actually working to implement a system wherein actual freedom will be the ultimate law of equilibrium: equal rights = equal responsibilities and as such one can see that there are always actions and reactions, there is a force and consequence, there is an intention that creates an effect, there is an ability and a duty in equal-manner. That’s the basic giving and receiving consideration that must be understood in our society, to finally stop being brainwashed to think ‘there are free things’ and this ties in with the saying we have at Desteni ‘None is Free until All is Free’ and this is actually implying being free from the Money-Consciousness that we have all participating in wherein we have forgotten who we are as one and equal and the giving and receiving in equality this implies – instead, we have reduced everything to numeric values that we then believe are ‘more’ or ‘less’ than, which is precisely the system that we must transcend through understanding how we created money, why and how we have to use money in order to correct the deliberately abusive relationships we’ve funded with it. Just like anything else: if money became the problem = money becomes the solution.

Real Freedom can only exist when understanding how reality works and as such become an equal force to support to change how the current system that enable abuse operates, because this is our creation: we face it as the gods we have believed ourselves to be.

This is fairly simple: you contribute with paying for your self support and as such you are contributing to continue growing and expanding such support for others, this is the only way that we can ensure that people Hear the Solutions to Equalize Life for All living beings, wherein the same money that we have enslaved ourselves-to becomes our own actual key to freedom, a real one at last and only then can we dare to speak about real love and care for all as Equals.

 

For further information, visit:

www.equalmoney.org

To support Desteni while educating yourself about who we are, how the world works, how to support ourselves to learn how to live and invest for material that will last you for a lifetime: www.eqafe.com

 

 

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155. Are we all Cannibals?

Redefining Consumerism as Self Support.

Within continuing looking at consumerism and the Frog Interviews, it is clear that the initial relationship we formed toward everything that is here, lead us to eventually having to consume ourselves in order to continue living – consuming ourselves? yes, we consume ourselves within the understanding that who and what we are as the substance within this physical existence is in fact  everything and all that we are and that which we use to sustain ourselves as physical bodies and, also as the mind that we fuel with our very own physical substance. For further explanations on this point, check out the Heaven’s Journey To Life blog.  We have been transforming this life substance and diminishing it to energy, to only being a temporary high in our minds to power up thoughts, emotions and feelings – thus, how to honor our living reality and physicality once that we discover that at the moment we’ll have to continue consuming food to exist?

 

I have walked through the point of judging having to eat and shit at the same time, consuming physicality and using it up to then dispose everything that I don’t require any longer within my physical body. Through understanding how the composition of my own physical body is the same as everything and everyone that is here – common sense – I got to see how it is in fact only the relationships that I have formed and created within my mind toward everything that I consume that which must be cleared up/aligned/ corrected  to in fact make of my own self-consumption a living-support, and not just feeding myself with food to sustain a physical body that would later on ‘empower’ my own mind as the ‘occupant’ within my body, depleting all the actual life-substance to power up thoughts, feelings and emotions as that point of separation we have existed as within our minds.

 

If cannibalism is seen as immoral in society, guess what? We’ve done this to ourselves through participating in our minds within believing ‘it is who we are.’

“Where I had within and throughout my Life, created who I am in my mind, and connected everything/everyone into and as my who I am in my Mind and so emerged into/as physicality reality through a Mind/as a Mind. Where, the processes of thinking/internal conversations emerged as how I would, within my Mind-Reality and the relationships I had formed within it – evolve it through thinking, and having internal conversations within myself and substantiate the Mind through/with energy/energy-experience as I make my internal alternate mind reality of actual physical reality ‘alive’. And so create an entire ILLUSION of what it means to live/be alive, not seeing, realising and understanding how for the Mind to exist, the Physical Body is sacrificed..” – Sunette Spies – Thought Designs – Part 2: DAY 154

 

 

We have All certainly participated in this by the mere fact of identifying and accepting ourselves to ‘be the mind’ and being literally ignorant about the actual functioning of the relationship between the physical and the mind, and about ourselves as the actual corporation/ consistency/ physicality of who and what we are really made of, which is ourselves as our physical body – wow, we have really Never in fact considered our entire physical body as the – derogatorily speaking – energetic source for our little bright mind to continue existing as this seemingly infinite resource to think, feel, imagine, wish, dream and hope all the time, which includes the points we’ve been looking at in terms of consuming/ buying/ possessing something or someone. And that is our real nature.

 

Within consuming – besides buying – we have the Eating consumption. And within this a way to practically walk this point of consuming/ consumerism at the moment within realizing that everything that we eat is ourselves, and everything that we have always consumed in any form/way is ourselves – this implies that our very own living-reality of consumption is based on us consuming ourselves. Now, this sounds really Not Cool I mean, all the time we thought we were in fact just ‘eating’ and that such action had no other meaning than sustaining the physical body – BUT! What we didn’t know, realize or understand is how the mind actually worked in relation to the physical body, and how everything that we ate would actually serve to sustain the very mind physical system that exists at an interdimensional level, sipping out the actual physical substance to transform into energy for its own survival – yep, a real parasite there and we are constantly feeding it – how? through participating in thoughts, emotions and feelings and any other type of mind-experience that we think is ‘us’ experiencing it, never really understanding what it in fact implies at the level of consciousness to be continuing creating relationships toward everything/ everyone in separation of ourselves through energy.

 

Thus, we have diminished the life substance that we consume to support ourselves to single batteries to power up the mind – the same way that we all have become single batteries to power up an entire world system of money. We see how we tend to judge ‘the world system’ in separation of ourselves, and how this actually leads us nowhere but further victimization instead of Self-Support with actual understanding through writing, applying Self-Forgiveness, Self Corrective Statements and Living it/ Applying it to in fact get to see how we have all been ‘unconditional’ participants to create the current world-system fuckup we exist as.

What does this practically mean? That we can begin considering the food we eat as an unconditional point of self support that we can in fact Use/support ourselves with to start living self-forgiveness beginning with the food that we eat.

 

 

As everything, we can redefine ‘consumerism’ as a derogatory term and instead see it as a physical function of taking in/eating/ingesting life to produce/support/give sustenance to ourselves As Life,  and that point of ‘producing/ supporting life’ is entirely up to us, to no longer use/ abuse food to feed our mind-cravings and mind needs, but instead assist and support our physical body in reality, the reality of what is required as nutrients which certainly is another aspect of education that must be investigated with our own physical bodies and proper medical diagnosis like blood samples, to see where and how we can practically nurture ourselves in an efficient manner, and not only following the desires, needs and wants of our mind, which is then already using the energy up to think about wanting/ needing/ and desiring, just like a never ending ouroboros to consume itself.

 

Thus through committing ourselves to Live and walk the Living Correction through Writing, Self Forgiveness, Self Corrective Statements and the Practical Application, we ensure that the nutrients we take in the form of food from/ of the Earth as the substance required to keep ourselves alive, are used to sustain ourselves during our Journey To Life, which means that it is to honor that which we take in as ‘food’ within the consideration that such nutrients and support for our body will in fact Not be used to power up our mind flicks and energetic manias, but instead support who we are as the realization of the relationship between the physical body and the mind, ensuring that through us stopping our participation in the mind within this Process; thus we use the nutrients to honor ourselves, honor life, because that’s certainly something that we were not taught to even consider within the foods that we eat, we simply learned that we give money for it and have ‘the right’ to consume it, that’s it.

 

So a practical point to consider whenever we are consuming foods, is to commit ourselves to realize that we are sustaining ourselves to LIVE in/as the Physical Body here breathing and providing the necessary nutrients to every physical component of our entire body, instead of feeding/ nurturing ourselves as our body to only power up the mind that sucks up such nutrients from our very tissue in order to continue the separation from ourselves as the physical body, externalizing this consumerism within the world system through money to ‘buy’ and ‘consume’ as a form of satisfying/ fulfilling/ creating a positive experience within ourselves As the Mind itself and so, becoming actually an eating-slave to power up the system that we have abdicated our living responsibility to.

 

This is a Vital point to understand, because it’s never been explained before how our thoughts are not ‘made up of stars’ as some innocent imaginary thing that has no consequence on the physicality that we are, no. They all Do have a consequence just as everything else that we participate in, and that’s our responsibility to get to know in detail about, as it is Our physical body and as such, our entire understanding of how this reality works so that we can in fact start getting a more in depth-view and understanding of this current world system being the direct outflow and manifestation of the very relationships that we are existing as within our physical body – you can begin with walking the Quantum Mind Series at Eqafe and get a hold of this in a step-by-step detailed explanation of what we are, how us participating in thoughts actually defines our entire relationship toward ourselves/ all in our reality, and also how to through becoming aware of this, commit ourselves to be the generation that stops accepting the mind as ‘normal,’ and also stopping any knowledge and information about how the physical body works that has been based on profit-making other than an actual support and assistance toward our quality living standards in our current society and reality.

 

We decide who and what we actually feed because we are the ones that decide in every moment whether we live or only delegate our beingness to a mind to do the pseudo-living for us through thinking reality, instead of living it.

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63. The Perfect Drug

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think it is absurd to be addicted to conflict,  yet all actions and deeds are now revealing that I had in fact used stories and pictures as people and relationships to cover up the actual truth of myself: an energetic junky that thrived upon conflict, pain and distress used to continue existing as a mind that thrives upon energy.

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to believe that I was ‘okay’ with people that have been addicted to drugs, and even believing that I was ‘attracted to people that had been into drugs’ which was only mind mind speaking as I now realize that these relationships have been the point of most conflict in my world that I made myself ‘keen to’ that deliberately, as that is the only way that my mind could continue functioning: through delving into conflictive relationships and situations just for the sake of keeping myself occupied in my mind and never ever seeing the truth of what I was in fact doing to myself, because I blinded it off with the idea of ‘love’/ attraction/ care or else toward others.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that I could become addicted to people which was never about ‘someone’ specific, but what the person represented as a point of conflict that I became addicted to as a mind to be constantly generating feelings and emotions as  a way to keep myself/ my mind alive through constantly having to charge thoughts up with either a positive or negative experience about something and someone, so that my mind could get its fix. Therefore it was never about people being ‘addicted’ the point of attraction but me being addicted to the conflict such pattern represented within me, so that I could generate an inner-experience of mixed emotions with feelings that lead me to become a wreck within actual dependency to fear of losing relationships in my world, which was never about ‘the person’ but the pattern that I had become addicted to: conflict, troubles, self-abuse.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that I could never be addicted to something that I had deemed as ‘negative,’ yet my actions spoke more than my words and now I see and realize that myself as my mind feeds off of positive and negative energy alike, because it is in the actual conflict and friction that the mind gets its fix from, no matter what pole it is generated in -which is what I’ve only now been able to realize about myself and my relationships thanks to the Desteni I Process, the interviews on money energy at eqafe, on sex and relationships and the Heaven’s Journey to Life blog that has become the ‘lantern’ in a space that was completely dark and even hidden within our understanding as humanity and existence as a whole. 

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to be addicted to conflict, as this is what I would base my apparent attraction to troubled people, it was only my mind luring myself into that which would generate the most friction within me, in order to continue generating energy within me being preoccupied and in constant fear, anxiety and mixed feelings that would cover up such basic conflict, which is how we pair ourselves up in a way wherein we actually remain within the most conflictive relationships to keep the mind ‘in place’ and where it was ‘meant to be’ for the mind to always get its fix.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not hear common sense but go with ‘what my heart dictated’ which was not my heart, but my mind as the required energy to continue existing as a mind that thrives upon self-abuse in a literal manner wherein we drain the physical, the substance that we are and convert it into energy which is a reduced form of life that has a positive or a negative charge with a beginning and an end– I realize that I got myself into the relationships wherein I would get the most friction and conflict as the ‘negative,’ wherein within me trying to ‘change it into positive’ there was a massive collision of poles that the minds would rejoice in. Thus, I realize now how relationships operate when based on energetic ‘attractions’ which is opposite poles attract because that’s the only way that enough friction is generated to continue feeding the mind as energy.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to be also brainwashed by songs like ‘The Perfect Drug’ wherein I foolishly equated people to drugs as way to explain how even if we realize that this is harmful, we continue doing it, which is what makes self-abuse the basic ingredient in relationships: self compromise, fear of loss, fear of ending up alone, fear of not getting the necessary fix: fear of the mind dying which is precisely what this entire process is about, overcoming this fear of ‘losing ourselves’ and losing our mind without realizing that the physical body can exist without the mind dictating its every move and relationship, as I realize that the mind exists as relationships and that we currently exist as relationships that have to be equalized in order to stop generating conflict and constant turmoil which is what the mind requires to continue existing feeding of our physical bodies.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think that statements in lyrics like ‘without you everything falls apart’ and ‘without you I’m nothing’ were perfect depictions of relationships between two beings, without realizing that it was actually me talking to myself as my mind believing that without such conflict, without such turmoil I’d be dead (as the mind)– yet I had not realized that I was in fact addicted to conflict, to turmoil and it is thus the reason why I sought conflict in my world without being aware of it, I created it for myself when being directed by these energies that could have either gone positive or negative, yet found the most ‘thrill’ in the negative due to my self-belief of being a ‘positive person.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to know beforehand that I was in the ‘wrong spot’ yet, I went along for the ride because of the experience this would create within me, an energetic thrill that eventually faded away and that’s when relationships stop, and then you go out seeking for another prey. Just like vampires.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not realize that saying ‘the more I give to you the more I die’ is a literal meaning: the more I experience emotions and feelings, the more I consumed myself inadvertently at a physical level – yet knowing deep inside myself what I was doing, neglecting it because what was ‘stronger’ was the addiction to the energy and became oblivious to the physical experience that went with it, because what I gave permission to direct me was the mind, separating myself further and further from being Here as my physical body.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to delve even further into the experience even though I knew it was ‘no good’-  and in this, I forgive myself for having ever accepted and allowed myself to judge ‘self abusive people’ without realizing that I was only judging myself for what I have become, driven entirely by this not-knowing-how-to-direct my energy to – hence landing anyhow on a spot wherein I could get my fix and keep it for as long as it ‘fed me,’ just like oil  wells and fracking methods to suck the life out of the Earth.

 

Thus, I realize that our self-abusive nature is just like being an addict –just like we have said many times before – because even though we know we are harming ourselves, we continue doing it and the only way that we can get to a realization about this is if we reach the bottom – the question is: do we have to? We have proven to ourselves that we only learn through experiences, and so far we are driving ourselves to face the consequences even more so ‘in our face’ to open our eyes. Unfortunately so, self-abuse seems to now be affecting more and more people yet there are still no clear questions being asked as to WHY this is happening? All the answers can be walked within self through the Desteni support available for all.

And this is another moment of absurdity for what  I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become: a sucker for abuse.

 

“one go into absurdity when one face something that you see the reality of – but fear it at the same time, cause it’s not a knowledge and information seeing, its a self realisation – thus, individual react in absurdity “No it can’t be real” – lol; but also at the same time do within their existential existence here see it is” – Sunette Spies

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to see people as separate from me in relationships wherein I blamed ‘them’ for what I would experience, not realizing that as long as the mind held the wheel of my reality, I would simply create relationships, form nice stories, ‘paint it’ in a personalized way and get myself imbued into it for the mind-experience that I imposed onto people in my world that only serve as linchpins to keep my wheel going – this means that I never really established a relationship with them, but only with my own mind and this energetic fixes that were perfectly orchestrated to make it look just like another fantabulous experience, when it was really not so.

 

I realize that in our minds, we are able to kid ourselves and make it all seem quite ‘nice’ but in reality, the actual experience is only that of being leeches of one another, eating ourselves up not metaphorically speaking and this is the truth of our reality. Hence the importance of stopping all energy-relationships as within stopping our energetic fixes, we stop the continued self-abuse we have thrived upon as the mind.

 

I commit myself to take Self-Responsibility for every single point that I blamed others for in my reality as being the cause of my experiences, because I see, realize and understand it was always only me and my own mind, my own energetic drive that I sought to satisfy as the saturation of myself as energy, wherein the rest were just part of the necessary players in the game to build a nice story around it. That’s how when stopping our mind, when realizing what we have done, relationships fall because we cannot continue deceiving ourselves as in getting our fix from people –

 

The only way that I can redefine relationship is  to realize the basic point of separation from self that each relationship entails – and that means that this process is walking through all our relationships as all the points we have separated ourselves from in the name of experience – either positive or negative – wherein through walking each point of separation, we stop feeding the mind and earth ourselves back as substance – this is explained in the blog  Wave-Theory of Creation: DAY 62 which has become a pivotal point to understand what we have done to ourselves in existence in an absurd manner – again – yet I realize that all reactions covered up within ‘absurdity’ are in fact a frightening realization of our nature and to what extent we took ourselves as life – in the name of energy as experience-  for granted

 

I realize that every moment that I give myself into the mind, I continue feeding this absurdity that must be stopped by myself in every moment that I can earth that surge of energy back to Earth as myself as Breath, b-heart – I instead breathe and hear the heart rate wherein I make sure that I re-mind myself the physicality that I abuse every time I allow myself to go into conflict, friction, desires and yearnings for relationships which are clearly based on self-abuse according to what I have realized throughout this process, but only now can see clearly and name if for what it is.

 

I realize that within me accepting others as ‘addicts’ I was simply speaking from the mind that justified and validated itself as ‘an addict’ because that’s the only way it can continue existing as ‘the driving force’ within our bodies – thus, I stop any self-definitions as having this ‘fascination’ for addicts/ addictions and experiences of any kind that are in fact the building blocks of self-abuse that mind exists as.

 

I commit myself to continue walking my own mind as my process of writing, applying Self Forgiveness and Self-Corrective Application to give myself direction to live words, to establish myself as words that can be applied by all in equality wherein relationships can only stand as symbiotic and never more parasitical in nature.

 

I commit myself to expose how relationships are simply an addiction of the mind and that it is in stopping such mind-relationships toward anything/ anyone that we can start standing equal and one to such points/ people in our world, wherein people no longer represent ‘patterns’ in separation of ourselves, but we instead walk those relationships through this process of Self-Forgiveness until what remains is self, here,  equal to everything and everyone that are also here, and support others to do the same for themselves.

 

I commit myself to continue investigating any bit and memory that comes up in my head as every point of backchat, memory, as these are indications of a point we are reacting to and existing in separation from, which is how the mind is the greatest tool to walk this process.

 

I realize that I must first walk my ‘rehab’ as self-agreement wherein I make sure that I never again use people as patterns to thrive upon as energy but instead, learn how to practically coexist with others as equals wherein self-is self-directive as the physical and never again as an energy-driven mind.

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Day 50: I Ate Myself Today

What does it mean to ‘Feed my obsessions?’ and how is this related to Eating myself? The current understand that we’re getting from the Heaven’s Journey to Life blog, implies that we have in fact been our own parasite as the mind eating away on our very own physical body. It’s fascinating that we reprimand cannibalism – some can even express being utterly disgusted by it – yet we do this to ourselves every single moment that we are existing in our minds, feeding our obsessions as thoughts, feelings, emotions and anything that we can ‘grab onto’ from our reality, which becomes a point of stimulation for ourselves as the mind to hold on to that point, and take it to the level of complete possession wherein ‘who I am’ is no longer here-as-breath, but instead  consuming/depleting myself as the physical body every single moment that I give my breaths away to feed but one single thought, which through repetition and patterns can become an obsession.

 

This pattern of ‘me feeding my obsessions’ has been a great distractor within my reality, wherein one single point of stimulation can divert my attention from here-as-breath, physically present as my body, and into a mind-shift wherein all that I remain doing is ‘thinking’ about that something/someone/event that becomes ‘my point’ to grab onto in order to continue existing only as a mind that thinks and has no-regard whatsoever for HOW it is being fed in itself, which is: through the consumption and transformation of the physical into energy, which is like the way we have violated life of oneness and equality and extracting – just like fracking, drilling, exploiting wells – and transforming it – like refining oil for gas – into a form of energy that is able to serve as fuel for the mind.

 

I had begun exploring this point of judging waste/ garbage outside of myself, without being aware of how I am depleting myself at a physical level by the very participation in the mind as consciousness, within my conscious mind that then activates everything that I exist as within/as my mind consciousness system. This implies that we have all been very busy depleting, consuming and literally eating ourselves whenever we feed our obsessions = whenever we feed our own mind.

 

And, that has been a definitive pattern that I have walked wherein my own ‘diligence’ in other areas, becomes equally diligent within the ‘feeding my obsessions’ point, wherein I won’t stop until I satiate that need – it’s just like vampires, lol, now I see why I would get such a kick out of reading those stories because, the drive for blood was so great that it became almost like an elation in itself to ‘look for it,’ which is quite similar to how we go ‘seeking for love’ and sickening ourselves to the bone by depleting the very physical through that constant feed of obsessions with our own physicality/life substance, which is the very ‘point’ that we have missed as humanity all the way:

 

Our minds consume our physicality

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘feed my obsessions’ indiscriminately because it usually generates this exhilaration as a ‘good feeling’ that I have accepted and allowed in the past to exist as ‘reasons to live,’ which implies that I diminished my day to day living to a continuous point that I had to ‘achieve,’ such as attaining a goal, a relationship, going somewhere, experiencing myself in a particular moment or event, which would become a constant conscious thought that I would ‘feed’ every single moment that I wasn’t here-as-breath but only as a mind feeding itself off of my physical body substance, which is the actual ‘fuel’ for the mind – without me ever being aware or even caring enough to ponder: how is it that my mind is being fueled?

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever be afraid and disgusted at cannibalism, without realizing that I am my very own cannibal the moment that I continue participating in the mind while already now knowing that I eat myself, I consume and deplete my very own life substance ever single moment that I give my moment here-as-breath into feeding one single thought that becomes ‘my obsession,’ simply because it generates a ‘good experience’ within me – within this

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that it was ‘okay’ for me to ‘chase my dreams’ because apparently ‘that’s what we as human beings are here on Earth for! To achieve our goals, dreams and greatest illusions!’ and in that, believing that because everyone else is doing it: why can’t I also do it? And so, becoming the perfect preprogrammed organic robot in a society that is specifically built, structured and organized in a way that we are constantly bombarded and stuffed with points that we can generate an obsession for: either a ‘perfect partner/ spiritual soul-mate,’ a pair of shoes, a great restaurant to attend, the ultimate car, some nice vacations in the Bahamas, getting the ultimate games, music, watching movies, attending parties, socializing while consuming anything – and any other point that becomes this ‘constant’ though in our heads that we then agree to ‘work for’ because: it is worth it, we are worth it – which has not become by casualty part of the advertisement’s mottos in order to make it ‘okay’ to feed our obsessions.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to neglect my common sense and shape myself according to what everyone else was doing, which was feeding their obsessions about music, idolizing famous people, wanting to buy lots of clothes, products that would make us ‘feel better’ about ourselves, without ever realizing that: from the moment that we give permission as the acceptance (cause) and allowance (effect) to feed that obsession as an actual desire/ want/ need = we comply to the entire consumerist behavior that is broadly accepted in our society, wherein we have all agreed to ‘feed each other’s obsessions’ through making it ‘okay’ to equate live = consuming, buying, satisfying ourselves with products, things, relationships as life-experiences that we believe is ‘all we’re here for’ when in fact, who and what we have become, is nothing but a machine that is able to justify, excuse and vindicate any means/ ways to obtain its satisfaction as that positive energy that is created the moment that we ‘give into’ our obsessions and don’t stop until we get it.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to never realize that I would actually only be obsessed and feeding my obsessions for the actual ‘good feeling’ that I would create within myself, placing aside the common sense that would actually rear its head every time that I would realize that: everything/ everyone that I desired and that had become that point of obsession, was never ‘as good as’ I had ‘Thought’ it would be, because the Idea and belief that I formed about that something/ someone Never matched reality. This implies that I had only been feeding my own mind, through using my physical life substance to do so, in order to make myself ‘feel good’ and in most instances, ‘feel alive’ through feeding my thoughts, feelings and emotions about that something/ someone, wherein I ultimately disregarded the fact that: it was never about ‘them’ but it was only about me-feeding my-own obsessions to make-me ‘feel good’ and reduce my physical body to a single energy-making machine that feeds the mind through depleting itself as life.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use something/ someone as a point of stimulation within my mind that I grab onto as a way to continue perpetuating myself as only an experience generated through thoughts and feelings that I use to ‘feel good’ about myself, thinking that I was actually ‘living’ while desiring/ daydreaming/wanting/ needing – when in fact, all of it was made ‘acceptable’ within ourselves as human beings, through that very initial acceptance of ‘who we are’ as only mind-energy demons that feed off of the physical substance/ life that we are, which we have neglected throughout our entire existence, using it as literally only a physical bait to attract others into our reality, reducing ourselves to a single image-based reality that is virtually only fed-for and specifically manipulated in order to Feed our Minds – but Never consider what we really are as physical beings, beyond a single image in the mind.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having become horrified at the sight of natural resources’ extraction/ exploitation such as fracking, without realizing that I have been doing the exact same thing within my very own physical body, which implies that this world is the exact replica and representation of who we are and what we exist-as within our own minds, which reveals to what extent we have become judges of our own deeds, condemning our very own functioning that we have conveniently veiled ourselves from seeing, because: the truth and reality of who and what we have become, has Nothing to do with light or love, has nothing to do with ‘feeling good’ about a single iota of mind movement that I use in order to satisfy and satiate myself as a mind, because all that I have ever fed is my own mind.

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to believe that I was ‘nurturing myself’ with ‘love’ which is part of the programming that I got fed-with through learning lyrics and complying to the popular culture in a specific ‘branch’ of it, that I deemed would use ‘love’ as a more ‘spiritual’ thing other than just a physical-bait for sex that is understood, without realizing that all forms of obsession are the same, we can simply choose to ‘coat it’ with either chocolate, caramel or nuts and still it is the same thing: a point of obsession that makes me feel ‘good’ about myself and my reality, which is only a reality generated through and by the mind, neglecting at all times the actual physicality that I exist as.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to ask forgiveness to my body for what I’ve done to it in the name of feeding my relationship obsessions, I am witnessing the consequences of this continued application throughout my life and all I can say is that I forgive myself for having neglected at all times the fact that I sought myself outside of myself this whole time, while reducing my own physical body to a single instrument of chasing-after that which I wanted to ‘obtain/ get’ to ‘satisfy myself.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consume my very own physical body/ life substance every moment that I sought to be ‘fulfilled’ in separation of myself through attaining something/ someone/ going somewhere else – and in this, neglecting every single moment that I lived HERE as myself, as Life in the Physical, which is now what I am walking as myself, in order to establish for the very first time that equal and one relationship with myself as my physical body, now that I’ve realized how I had become the ultimate obsession for ‘something/ someone’ in separation of myself in my mind, while disregarding and completely ignoring myself as my physical body that I am here, as breath as life.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become obsessed with my own mind as thoughts, feelings and ideas as future projections that I use to instigate a ‘good feeling’/ positive experience within me, which stems from this inherently accepted and allowed perception of myself ‘not being complete/ not being good enough’ wherein I then sought-myself in separation of who I am here-as-breath as the physical. Thus, I stop feeding my obsessions and becoming obese with my own over-eating to fuel my obsessions and mind-addictions in order to feed one single pattern that I, through cultural cultivation, had accepted as ‘who/ what I must aspire to be/become’ which is a ‘satisfied person’ – which implies the saturation of myself of positive energy that seeks to rejuvenate itself as a mind every single moment that such saturation of myself as positive energy goes to a low, which is when I then re-activate my obsession as the mind, neglecting myself here-as-breath – in order to place into motion the extraction of physicality life-substance at the service of the mind-system and Not of myself here-as-breath, as life.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate the act of eating something outside of myself from eating-myself, which implies that the energy-resources that I am ‘craving for’ are in fact mind generated when not having established a physical-relationship with my own physical body to realize, see and understand what is it that I am ‘in-fact’ requiring to eat, and what is simply only a mind-related consumption of food in separation of myself here-as-breath.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that ‘feeding someone else’s obsession’ was in any way some type of sexual innuendo that I would play out in order to have power over others, which I learned through songs and pictures and ideas of what would be ‘enjoyable’ within others, which was only enjoyable within who I am as a mind system that is willing to create the most twisted and bizarre ways of satisfying ourselves as an idea of the mind, as the ego and personality that has never in fact been ourselves here-as-life, as the physical – but only who we are as mind-systems that work in a system of money wherein everything that will give us a ‘high’ is directly linked to having to ‘buy it’ and consume it’ in the name of our personal glory and satisfaction.

 

I commit myself to establish my own relationship with my physical body first and foremost before even attempting to walk with others in equality, as I see and realize that the moment that I miss-myself and instead divert my attention of here-as-breath into the mind as ‘feeding my obsessions’ as future projection, I am in fact only existing in the mind and not here-as-breath. Thus I walk my self-agreement process wherein I make sure that who I am is always here as self, constant and consistently existing as the physical, wherein any single diversion into the mind, is called out into awareness of me here-as-breath to walk Self-Forgiveness here-as-life in order to establish myself as the directive principle of who I am in every single moment.

 

I commit myself to become more aware of what am I feeding myself with as food and going establishing awareness to see how if I am eating is in fact required by my physical body, or if it is only feeding myself as a mind-obsession that is always justifying and excusing its desire/ want/ need for mind fuel as the deification of energy for/ as the mind, while defying and neglecting the physical that must be invariably abused, used and depleted in order to satisfy the mind’s obsessions.

 

I commit myself to stop every single thought that becomes an instant obsession within myself, from a single picture presentation, an ideal of living, a desire to be somewhere else, a desire to be experiencing a particular emotion that I had become so used to in the past as any for of temporary sense of ‘satisfaction’ that would satiate my mind for a while, only leaving me high and dry after a while and asking for more.

 

I commit myself to establish myself from here on as the point that is able to give herself/itself back to Earth wherein the energy that I consume is no longer used to abuse life, but is instead used to support Life as who I am, wherein all that I consume is given back to Earth, Earthing all the energy that I’ve abused and give it back to self.

 

I commit myself to establish a world-system of money – the Equal Money System – wherein we will no longer be brainwashing each other in the name of consumption as buying, consuming, producing and selling that which we know is detrimental to life on Earth, but we currently comply to it because our lives depend on ‘making money to survive,’ which reveals to what extent we have compromised life to this compro = ‘I buy’ in Spanish – mise (miser) and in that, reducing our entire existence to a buy-consume happy-go-lucky living that is absolutely energy-based and Never has been physical awareness and consideration of self-here as life, breathing, walking, physically existing as the flesh and bones, as the organism that simply requires breath and physical substance at the moment to exist.

 

Do we really LOVE or only ( H ) Ate ourselves while doing so?

What are we doing to ourselves

 

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Day 8: My body is Not an Image

Equalizing myself as my physical body implies not suiting the ideals that I have participated and created in my mind toward it, that would be reinforcing the same system that we are here to stop reinforcing . It is about considering every single cell and what I have put my entire body through whenever I have indulged into a ‘regime’ that I have followed in the name of religions, such as when I was a vegetarian, to the point of becoming anemic for not considering the actual physical requirements to nurture my body.

 

I’ve walked that process in the past – however a new dimension has been added to this process of me understanding what it means to really stand equal and one as your physical body. I mean, we have become so separated from our bodies that we follow our mind-created cravings in order to satisfy what we ‘think’ is what we want or require. Just today I realized that I wanted to drink some mineral water, which is absolutely unusual to me, which implies that I didn’t ‘think myself into it’ but was an actual sensation to seeing how I had an experience of wanting something that would contain something a bit more than just plain water.

 

I have been experiencing the subtleties of my body that I would not experience before – yet I see the importance of now integrating the written self-corrective support that goes hand in hand with practical physical actions of, for example, integrating more variety of foods as vegetables and elements that I would not buy simply out of routine. I have lived a life wherein ‘my routine’ has become ‘my religion’ and in that, even when it comes to food it becomes almost like a subservient way of ‘giving me the least variety’ in means of austerity, somehow, yet not realizing that me existing in such limitation is just also self-interest as I am only considering how I have judged food and what I eat and how I have defined myself according to money and what I eat, which are then relationships of value and separation from what I see I am actually capable of eating/ consuming without creating any ideas of ‘being abusive’ for eating – I had just written ‘indulging’ – into a wider variety of foods.

 

It’s quite revealing how one can use a certain image as a means to portray ‘modesty’ and ‘humbleness’ which has permeated the simplicity that I want to portray as an image, and can still come through as clothes – simple clothes – and foods – simple foods which doesn’t meant that it is ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ but I can still see that I am holding this ‘neutral experience’ toward it, which stands as a generated experience that I have limited myself within as well. It’s very cool to realize this as I have seen how one cannot really be ‘neutral’ as it is a long-standing point between both poles and still defining it according to having been living in either side of the opposite polarities.

 

So – the way to walk out of creating an experience form that which I eat is stopping giving it any ‘face value’ within my mind, no matter how ‘neutral’ it may seem. The moment I face resistances to open up the point implies that I am not willing to give up my ‘status quo’ which is a very familiar state for me wherein once that I’ve ‘reached’ a certain point I can remain in it without actually challenging such status quo and deliberate change the habit to learn where and how I can implement new points and solutions and physical support for myself. That’s something that I enjoyed about the farm, how points were constantly shifting wherein my usual desire to remain ‘safe’ in any given task, routine is suddenly immediately altered which forces me to re-evaluate, re-schedule and prioritize time and time again. That’s really challenging and it’s in those moments when we can face if we are really ‘stable’ and ‘unconditional’ regardless of the new situations/ events that may come up.

 

 

“Bodyshape – lol; when human beings see the word bodyshape – BODYshape is how it’s read, and attempt/try to shape the body according-to how the mind has shaped reality, and thus what exist within BODYshape is MINDshaped – where the mind takes IMAGES/PICTURES and attempt/try to shape it with/as actual physical reality that is not a Picture/Image but an actual physical existence/reality that is constantly/continuously in motion/movement according to our beingness/mind as how we express through/with/as the physical. And thus, Bodyshape has become Mindshaped and what experience the consequence is the being in/as/with the body – because the mind try shape the body according to a picture/image, like trying to stop time in the physical for the image/picture to manifest when the physical is constantly changing/in movement.
Thus, the process should be SELFshaping – assisting and supporting self to shape self up into/as Life/Living, and realise that it’s bodySHAPE – simply the shape the body is in according to self’s relationship with self and the physical, and to align self with the physical in shaping self and the body into/as equality and oneness – this is the shape that should be regarded”                                    – Sunette Spies

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my physical body and turning it into a single image that I have created in my mind of how it must look according to how I have imposed ‘my view’ onto reality according to how I see through the eye of the mind that places picture-presentation on top of the actual physical existence that is here as the physicality and all the relationships that are existent here as my physical body.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard every single cell and part of my body that I have put strain on whenever I would deliberately follow a new belief system upon eating, without regarding its actual nutrient requirements, which eventually lead me to experience my body giving an alarm that I required meat, which is how I realized that I had to stop following a belief system wherein I would only consider my own interest on ‘not feeling guilty for killing animals’ yet being at the verge of a serious physical condition that took me time and pain to recover from in the past.

 

I learn from such mistakes and deliberate abuse that I imposed onto my body in order to remind me to not follow again any regime that will lead me to consequences that I am not equating as myself As the Physical body, but only at the mind value wherein I seek to make myself look better and ‘feel’ better from a mind perspective, instead of actually considering the necessary nutrients and elements that I require to consume in order to support myself as the physical body.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my existence as only a ‘form’ as a physical body, that I only see the skin/ surface of, without realizing that there is an entire universe of cells forming tissues, organs, systems as the entire configuration that exists as my physical body that I must consider in its totality every moment that I am indulging into food, that I quit/ stop certain foods and the physical movement that I use as regular exercise for self-support.

 

I realize that it is within self-interest that we can abuse and limit ourselves from proper feeding every time that we follow an ideal of what we must eat, without doing proper research within our own body, doing one point at a time, step by step to ensure that we are in fact monitoring the changes and actual physical experience with such changes, to make sure that I am not putting my body under pressure and strain that becomes imperceptible by our current separation that we have created from our physical body.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having imposed my values upon body image, foods and looks based on what I deemed as ‘acceptable’ within my reality, which is a mind-reality where the actual physicality that I am comprised of was absolutely neglected and overlooked when and while imposing ‘sudden’ changes within my diet, which is deliberate acts that I would do in order to satisfy a mind routine of self-fulfillment without considering at all times the actual nutritional value for my body in itself in the first place.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having ever disregarded the very fact that I kept a struggle during an entire lifetime with wanting to achieve a certain ‘idea’ of how I must look, without ever considering the actual structure that sustains me, as the physical constitution of my body wherein each cell is aware of even the slightest change that I create in my day to day diet.

 

When and as I see myself pondering about creating a change in my diet, I stop and I breathe – I make sure that the starting point is actually in order to investigate how certain meals are able to support my physical body effectively, wherein I place aside and not participate within the starting point of using certain meals to support me to ‘achieve’ getting a certain body image as the body form that I have used as an excuse and patterned ideal that has no physical consideration for who I really am as the actual physical that cannot be possibly reduced to being only an image.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to reduce myself to being only image seen through physical eyes only.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard the fact that I am in constant movement and reactions as chemical processes inside me that I have become so separated from that I have neglected how the slightest indulgence, change/ alteration in my day to day living in relation to food can in fact create a disruption that I cannot even be immediately aware of, due to the extent of separation that I’ve fueled as the acceptance of who I am as a mind that seeks a ‘perfect picture presentation’ based on equally-sold picture-presentation ideals in the name of keeping ourselves entertained with and as the mind as ‘who we are,’ instead of actually stepping out of the mind-loop and get into actual physical considerations of our body as a living-organism, not a bi-dimensional picture presentation according to the standards of what I have believed will ‘make me feel better about myself’ which is linking the body image to a positive experience, like the one we get when having money and feeling ‘better’ than before.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to manipulate my body as a image that could portray ‘modesty’ and ‘simplicity’ yet still within the starting point of creating a ‘neutral’ experience within me, which is then how I have surreptitiously kept myself in a ‘comfort zone’ when it comes to actually dealing with how I have utilized my body to fulfill an ideal of myself – which is not Real but mind-based.

 

I forgive myself that I have deliberately manipulated my diet in means of ‘austerity’ which stems from the entire relationship toward money wherein I created such ‘modesty’ and ‘austerity’ in relation to how I used to spend a lot more money on a wide variety of food in the past- thus I realize that it’s not about creating an experience of ‘eating cheap food’ but actually starting to remove the value as money that defines my current experience toward food, and instead consider the actual nutritional value that is entails to eat and nurture myself as my physical body.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make of what I eat part of my daily self-religion wherein modifying what I eat seems like a sacrilege to my status quo, not realizing that within this I am only limiting myself to explore new ways of supporting myself and my physical body – mind and body equally.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to link ‘austerity’ to a ‘positive value’ within myself, without realizing that it is also an experience that I must stop in order to start reconsidering the actual nutrition points that I require to support my body in an optimum way

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear ‘changing my habits’ as this is part of having to ‘break my personality/ ego’ as the usual comfort and status quo that allows me to ‘play safe’ within my reality, not realizing that this can only lead to stagnation and it is a limitation to the detriment of my own process of actually realizing new points that I can incorporate and move myself toward if I direct myself to do so.

I realize that modesty and austerity are only mind-created experiences that have no physical congruency to the reality that I exist as in my physical body which cannot be fueling or be part of the life-degradations I’ve created as personalities that I have used to suit my own desires of ‘how I must look’ and ‘what I must eat’ within an entire personality idea of me being a ‘modest’ and ‘austere’  person.

 

I commit myself to support myself to actually live in accordance to developing an equal and one support of myself as my physical body, as my mind which I am here to re-educate in means of supporting myself as who I really am as a living being that requires to establish proper relationships with Self as the physical.

 

I commit myself to walk a process of learning/ educating myself further on how what I eat supports me/ doesn’t support me, based on actual experimentation that I allow myself to commit to for a couple of weeks to see how it is experienced within my physical body.

 

The only acceptable form/ shape of myself is as a living being that is able to live one and equal here as my physical body first, to no longer put it under any form of strain while following a certain image/ ideal based on the constrains of my mind that is currently influenced by everything that sells well in this reality.

 

I commit myself to start considering what my physical body is actually requiring instead of following (fall-allowing) the thoughts in my mind of why I should or should not eat something. I have to develop in practicality what ‘man know thyself’ actually means in this regard, which is an actual living process that I’m beginning from here on.

 

 

Interview by Bernard Poolman about the points that must be considered whenever one is trying out new foods and diets in our every day living.

Blogs of the day:


Day 7– Deconstructing Sugar

Yesterday we had a chat with regards to food and quitting sugar, which is a point I have been consciously procrastinating due to the extent of the relationship that I have created with all things that create a sense of satisfaction, which are related to: sugar! I wrote out yesterday how obvious it was in my body experiencing the rush of sugar, I have made vlog about it as well in the past and I ‘reduced’ sugar for a while, then went back to it or at least not giving specific self-direction to the point, which was leaving the back door open for me to go in and out whenever I wanted.

 

This is about me as the creator of my own preferences, quirks and chemical addictions such as sugar. I am aware that this point is ‘far more extensive’ than any other relationship I’ve had, as this is about food that I’ve become so used to eating and ‘sweetening’ my life with, wherein it obviously at times became the ‘consolation price’ for all emotional down-loops, which is the most common way to divert my attention from what’s here.

 

I also realize that the last time that I was talking with my mother about sugar and stopping it, she told some something like ‘oh don’t be so hard in yourself, it’s not like you won’t ever eat anything with sugar ever again’ and in that, I could see how I gave myself this leeway to keep eating it as ‘the only pleasures left in life.’ I have also defined myself or creating myself a reputation for liking sugary things, specially when it comes to going out with my parents and having the opportunity to eat apfel strudel, lol my perdition.

 

I have to forgive myself the relationships that I build with the people that I buy food from. An example is stopping a relationship with a woman in the bakery as that friendliness is what kept me going to such bakery even if it was definitively more expensive than others. But then, I’ve created yet another relationship with other people where bread was cheaper and I made a habit of buying the same bread which lead the people there know what I like and identify me as the predictable robot I’ve become when it comes to buying items. God, the same in the supermarket actually… What is this revealing to me? That I have also compromised myself to buy and consume based on the relationships that I create with people and how they ‘identify me’ according to what I buy.

 

I cannot continue compromising myself in any way. I mean, if I walk past the bakery on a daily basis and I won’t buy there any longer, I might as well go in there to let them know that I won’t be buying bread from them as I have to take care of my sugar addiction. LOL

 

I realized how I have allowed sugar in my life as a ‘treat’ and I would deliberately ignore the side effects that I had to ‘endure’ as opposed to the deliciousness that was eating a cake for example. I mean, this should be read as masochism here, I’ve experienced how it is not cool for my body yet I kept doing it.

So in these seemingly ‘making up for’ type of experiences, we accept a LOAD of bs that comes in the form of ‘small allowances’ such as when you buy something and believe that you will be able to keep it for a week, and end up eating the whole thing in a few hours only. Stuff like that is creating the necessary alarms to realize: hello, I am not being the directive principle in my world, I am allowing myself to simply indulge into it for the comfort I experience within my body as I consume food that is ‘sweet.’

Ludicrous, we have created relationships toward food of course, and in that we have made of such a vital point an addiction, which is just an outflow of having made of our own thoughts a surrogate living as well as the emotions and feelings tied to ‘living’ as well as eating.

 

So let’s begin with that:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to link sugar to a positive experience within my body wherein I have associated everything that is sugary as something that I ‘like’ by default and that I cannot say ‘no’ to, without realizing that as I stand as the directive principle within me, I have to create such ability to not be driven by a mental desire to eat sugar, but instead discipline myself to support my body with meals that are not creating me an ‘instant gratification’ such as sugary meals.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a self-definition base on it being ‘too difficult’ to quit sugar which means I was giving up before even trying it, which is ‘the’ point of self interest as a nice-fluffy experience that I can get from eating sugar, which I must now discipline myself to re-direct in a supportive manner, which is the process that I’ll be walking as I face this point.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let go of the idea of me being a sucker for desserts and specially, apfel strudel that I have defined as my favorite dessert of all time. I realize that deserting of myself as the idea of being an ‘apfel strudel sucker’ is something that I must let go of in order to stop existing as that energetic tie to it as a picture in my head of what I ‘enjoy,’ without realizing how much backchat it would occupy in my mind when being abroad and not able to get that specific apfel strudel that I like.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a thinking-relationship to getting the treats that I ‘like’ and in that, using my mind to continuously manipulate myself into getting that ‘quick fix’ of eating something sweet, without actually taking into consideration what sugar is and what it actually does to my body.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to procrastinate giving direction to stopping sugar because of fearing ‘missing out the sweetness of life’ by stopping eating sugar and bread and all of which I had created a relationship defined as ‘comfort’ and ‘consolation,’ which is mostly a coping mechanism when I am not willing to face myself a certain point that I am allowing to accumulate within me as backchat –  have resorted to instead cover it up by using something sweet to eat to neglect the actual experience that I am creating within myself and go into a sense of ‘satisfaction’ after it.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create relationships of giving myself ‘rewards’ or ‘treats’ that I would create a relationship toward as that energetic longing for it, which is how I require to stop and see who I am without such treats and how I am able to replace such sugary treats with vegetables and other meals that are supportive and nutritional other than a piece of bread.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to the sensation of chewing something that I have defined as ‘whole’ and ‘filling’ such as bread in my mouth and stomach.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect the common sense that something that is altering my physical body to a sense of discomfort while digesting it, is simply not cool for my body and that I should stop it, yet instead allowed me to ‘swallow’ the side effects because of considering it to be the ‘consequences to bear’ for having such a pleasant and delightful taste in my mouth – and mind – out of eating something sweet.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to eat something that I know beforehand won’t support my physical body providing actual nutrients,  but instead allowed me to abuse my body to digest such gulps of sugar ‘just because of liking the flavor/ taste’ of it, and the sense of comfort and fulfillment that I would get out of it, which is my mind creating an energetic experience out of eating, which is certainly Not supportive at all.

 

I am here to support my physical body and that means stopping that which I have researched, realized and experienced in my body to be equal to  poison that makes my entire blood rush throughout my veins in an abnormal pace, which means that I am forcing and exhilarating my physical functioning at some level that is Not supportive for myself.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse my organs and my physical body that had to digest such amounts of sugar and me neglecting the actual strain that I’ve experienced to digest sugars, yet allowed it in the name of pleasure and a ‘piece of heaven’ such as when eating bread, cakes, apfel strudel and cookies – and in a lesser value: chocolate.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having created such ‘untouchable’ items in my diet like eating bread and consuming that which is always ‘nice to grab a bit from,’ because of wanting to fulfill and satiate the usual sugar cravings that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to – yes, I must realize that I am dealing here with a life long dependency as the acceptance of sugar within me as a stimulant to create a sense of ‘feeling good,’ no different to seeking love and light, really.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to link the idea of sugar to ‘being cared for/ being appreciated/ being pampered/ being spoiled’ from the relationship of getting such sugary stuff from my parents whenever I go to visit them.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to place value in a person that I met and made me 5 different types of cakes for my birthday and equating that to ‘care’ and ‘appreciation.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a dependency to eat ‘sweet stuff’ such as bread or sweet rice in order to give myself ‘a bit of a reward’ during the day, as if I had to be consoled and fulfilled with such moments of eating ‘sugary stuff’ equated to ‘me caring for myself,’ without realizing that such sugar has no nutritional value at all and that it is certainly not necessary within my every day diet. Thus, I walk the process to prove to myself that I can continue living without eating these obvious items that contain high levels of sugar.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist quitting sugar and having procrastinated it for such a long time, because of fearing missing out on that which I have defined as ‘the most enjoyable stuff’ as eating something that I can have a sense of fulfillment through and as sugar.

 

I know it is possible to stop as some other Destonians have shared their on processes of stopping sugar and I could see myself just keeping quiet throughout the chat because I resisted placing a commitment to do the same and stop eating the most obvious items that contain sugar – there is also a point of ‘oh what if I ‘fail’?- but I can’t, because I’ve made decisions to quit other stuff in my life that was obviously addictive – including people and activities. I also understand that the relationship I’ve created with sugar is quite a ‘tough one’ in relation to how I have accepted myself as always requiring something ‘sweet’ to end the meals with, even if it was a sip of some juice or ‘fiber cookies’ or some other ‘taste’ that I could satisfy my desire to EXPERIENCE the sugary taste in my mouth as ‘the final taste.’

 

I have recently cut eating yogurt which had been part of my self-religion in food, it’s probably a month of that already – I tried quitting milk right away but my body went absolutely aloof, so I’m still drinking it in a very reduced manner – this is also in relation to the processes we’re walking and how we require to support our physical in relation to the meals I have been so used to eating and that I cannot just ‘cut out’ overnight. 

 

And so, I commit myself to stop eating any sugary stuff – specifically bread which I have defined as a ‘filler’ in both a physical and experientially speaking as that moment of actually chewing the bread as a ‘relief,’ as a satiating moment that I have defined as ‘giving myself a treat’ due to the obvious amounts of sugar it contains.

 

Sugar is a must stop – there are diabetics in both sides of my family. Actually I know that my grandmother died of diabetes and my sister – when she was little – would hand her chocolates in a secretive manner until she died. So, I see myself in that mirror and realizing that I do have a predisposition to being a sugar junky – the same with my other grandmother that is also dead and would be a yogurt junky, lol.

So, evidence proves that I must stop sugar, I have been also more aware of this sensations that food produce within me and yesterday I went to the shop and bought some greens and vegetables, which is something that I was only buying every now and then. I also realize that I will take the opportunity to find out how my body works without rice – which has become ‘the main meal’ in my diet – yet it makes absolute sense that it does turn into sugar as any other grain, including wheat. I knew this from my sister – who is a nutritionist – yet I continued fooling myself because of the routine, remaining in the status quo with what I eat – I  mean this uncovers how I tend to make of my days a bit of a ritualistic movement – however it’s going much better.

I am not as obsessed with cleaning as I was before, and having everything ‘perfectly’ around me, I am less concerned about ‘how things look’ around me yet I have to be aware of making it functional as well. And so, within this entire point of walking the physical process, something that Bernard said got stuck in me the other day in relation to creating patterns and habits that are supportive as we are now walking the physical process. Thus I realize that it is the ‘perfect time’ to establish that which I am willing to maintain as a living-experience in the physical as myself.

 

I have made a habit of buying bread as the only ‘treat’ I give to myself. I walked it in a mind construct a few months ago, lol and I only stopped going to ‘that’ bakery that I wrote the mind construct about, but then found a cheaper one which made it easier for me to have access to bread again. So, I realize that identifying all the points is key and I am perfectly aware when I make the ‘decision’ or should I say when I indulge-into stopping by the bakery and buying bread. I usually associate it with a reward system that I have created for myself in relation to what I eat – which I took as ‘normal’ as in ‘giving myself a treat’ but I see that I can become quite sneaky when it comes to these allowances and not really disciplining myself to it.

 

However, I am taking it bit by bit, I do take my body into consideration to reduce the amounts of it little by little as I’ve seen how cutting down meals that I had built myself of can be quite disturbing in an overall physical experience that is not comfortable at all.

 

I also realize that I must increase meat consumption with that, which I can only see I have limited myself to because of money – so there you go! our experience, nutrition and relationship to food is directly linked to how much money we have. I am perfectly aware that I could buy all of such variety if I had the money to do so, and seek for organic stuff that is absolutely expensive here. So, at the moment I’ll seek for the best options which means buying more vegetables, which are certainly not expensive.

 

So, thanks for all that have shared their experiences with stopping sugar, that is the type of support and ‘inspiration’ that I required because this is one of the points that absolutely goes ‘against Marlen’s will’ I mean, me the cookie-girl no way! – lol yes I once sold cookies during summer time with my cousins and called ourselves ‘cookie girls’ – we would bake cookies and sell them to our neighbors, it was quite fun but we obviously would eat the remains and so, that was not supportive at all.

 

This point of liking desserts is yet another ‘chunk’ of myself that I have created and continued to generate as a positive experience – I mean, I’m glad that I have come to build a taste for vegetables – thanks to my mother that would nag me to do so – but now I have to actually get rid of that which would ‘console’ my desire to experience something ‘sweet’ within me. So I’ll continue walking this point as I go, for now this is it.

 

I commit myself to being this process of cutting down sugar to eventually be able to stand and see that I am still here after quitting all major sources of sugar in my daily diet.

 

For further support:

 

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