Tag Archives: ecstatic

246. Why do we Seek to Escape this World through Emotions?

Continuing from:

So, quoting the post where I got the self support

Update on Music Post, June 1, 2008

Marlen wrote:
What I’ve experienced is some tingling, mostly like goosebumps when i listen to certain songs.. but this might be mindfuck as well… hmm it’s as if ants walked within my body and extended through it all. Don’t’ know why this happens but i used to have it before as well. But this time specific with music. So would like perspective because if i have to stop it I will… just to know where it comes from thanks

Answer:
The sensation experienced here Marlen, is when a physical manifested memory construct system – ‘activate’ within hearing the sound and words.

When this occurs – observe your mind and the thoughts that arise, as the thoughts as memories will pertain to the physical manifested system within and as you – which has become you, which has formed part of your self-definition of the mind.

Margot

 

So, the Self Forgiveness in the last post indicated an actual self-revelation of once again just another personality/ character defined by the type of likes and fascinations I created out of some initial fear or energetic relationship to specific situations and music, such as the end of the world/ death and mostly a perspective upon the world being fucked, never realizing that I was the only one that was accepting and allowing it to be so and rather victimizing myself about it, complaining about it without ever even considering how I could stand as the change within myself instead of seeking it outside of me.

 

If we take a look at our entertainment – whether is music, arts, TV, magazines, books, any ‘high culture’ type of hobbies and virtually anything for that matter is part of the same industries that are only seeking after money to remain with a certain spot within our world system, a perfect world system for slaves that seek to ‘get away’ from reality for a while which is the first and most important condition that exists in order for anyone to not question the system, to not question their jobs as long as holyweekend rewards of getting wasted and laid are in place as an obligatory sacrament in order to feel ‘alive’ as the renewal of the mind consciousness system’s life is rebooted by an extensive participation in the mind as energy. And I’m merely describing what goes on and what I see/witness every single weekend around here.

The same goes with any other form of spirituality for example, seeking a holy good-doer experience within some form of ritual or religious encounter wherein they get probably the same chills/ ecstatic experience that I do while watching some bombs obliterating the Earth to the music of Godspeed You Black Emperor, and I mean I understand this can be judged as rather insensitive, but it’s just within the understanding of how a point of fear is turned into a fascination. So, it is simply about revealing what is here and look at our personal self definitions with regards to images and sounds – if anything makes you feel ‘good’ or temporarily ‘high’ and ‘out of your senses,’ problem since it indicates we are only running as a mind and are not being the directive principle of our beingness. If there was no such ecstatic experience within the music I heard, would I have been so imbued into it? Probably not – the same can be applied to anyone that has created an energetic bond to virtually anything in this world – because as we’ve said many times: we’re all addicts and have not fully grasped what our addictions are causing at a global level.

 

So in essence, this point of music as any other form of energetic experience reminds me one thing every time: what am I willing to participate in just for the sake of an energetic experience? and because of this, I had actually prevented me from travelling across the city and spending money on tickets and rides there to get a ‘nice memory’ such as going to concerts, which became like a self-religion to be there and acting out of memory, because out of the several hours I had to spend travelling and waiting, all the money on tickets and rides would be a lot more than the hour and a half that the hype happened. If it was easier to go, I would not see it as a problem, nor would I judge it, but I am specifically looking at what cost do I go and seek for these experiences, not necessary.

 

I have been watching several documentaries on drugs because I can see how every single person that is a hard-core drug addict is seeking for this ‘something’ to feel to fill some apparent void. I was ‘lucky’ to be fearful of taking any hard drugs, feared consequence so much that I simply avoided that, but became aware of the temptation that exists whenever you believe you lack some spice in your life. It’s quite hard to look at methamphetamines and the current deadly addiction they represent, literally people just hooking up on it in the first hit. And this seems to be the decay that I have been focusing on, because this is precisely the ‘I want to give up’ attitude that leads us to seek an end of the world scenario while making of anything in your life your greatest ‘hit’ and high, either through legal or illegal drugs, music, sex, buying, killing, eating, exercising, painting, walking, stealing, consuming anything and anyone just for one single moment of pleasure.

This accumulation of Self Interest is what has lead us to what we have become now: top consuming addicts that will do whatever it takes to keep up with a hedonist lifestyle that disregards where all of these little ‘treats’ come from. Certainly we are so narrow minded that we believe that everything that we consume is somehow ‘safe to use’ and perpetuate because we blatantly believe that because it being sold in your supermarket/ regular shops, it is ‘probably’ tested and safe to use by people, and it is most likely non-harmful and bio-friendly type of product, of any kind for that matter. Really?

 

We’ve bought so many lies just to maintain our little happy world-play running at the expense of life on Earth and the lives of billions of beings that are either starving, absolutely neglected by any form of care or regard or working 3/4 of a day just to make enough money to stay alive and produce the the lifestyle that we are so proud of as technological advancements and any other ‘improvement’ that is only available for those with money and can only be produced by those that are forced to remain as slaves to make it happen. That’s our reality – and that’s what sustains any form of personal-interest as entertainment or a fleeting moment of escapism, without realizing that we should not even be seeking to ‘escape’ or ‘get high’ if we could all agree to make of this world a suitable living space for all beings equally, with unconditional resources to ensure life is honored as oneself.

 

 

From Energetic Fixes to Self Expression

Now, how to turn such experience of music/ painting into Self Expression? Me making a decision to hear music or participate in any other activity that involves any form of creative process, being here breathing and enjoying the sounds for what they are and that’s it. It is definitely something that for a drunk would mean having to drink beer without alcohol, but as I said, I cannot allow myself to enslave me to a single point of energetic experience that I would actually be quite a seeker of. I have already spent too much money in the past going to concerts just because of that feeling and experience, only to every time end up saying: next time, I’ll remind myself that it’s not worth it- but not really learning since there’s always this hope that I’ll have a good time. Last time I did, I danced around while being perfectly sober which was cool but I realize that I can as well put some music on and dance and jump around – no difference since the entire exhilaration of seeing a band live is mostly an energetic experience in the mind that turns just into this one experience that one can say ‘I’ve been there’ and that’s it. We can look at all other points in our life we conduct in a similar manner, just for a little excitement there can be lots of money and time spent, sometimes even getting in risky situations or travelling across the city at night which I’ve done in my case, not the most suitable option just to follow-through with a desire.

In terms of the self-definition, I can see that at the moment it’s not so much about me defining myself according to that music, it is just that energetic experience that comes up with and while listening to certain music, but I’ll have to walk this as I go since there are several types of music, several voices, sounds that I essentially saved in my memory for various reasons. If I would have to walk through each and every single music video I adopted something from, It would take me a thousand posts. So, it is a matter of breathing through the energetic thrill, see what thoughts came up, which is not so much a thinking any more but a remembrance of a personality, which implies I have to ‘go back’ and see what that song was about, what ‘era’ of my life does that song represent and walk the self forgiveness, because it is really uncomfortable not being able to be fully directive here when such experiences arise, I mean, it’s just like when you’re cold and you suddenly get chills – same point here, but the chills come even if I am not cold per se. It can only indicate layers I have to work with in relation to these ingrained personalities and yes, it is mostly like suddenly having to take the make up off the face when it comes to these points that I had kept nice and safe, without realizing to what extent I am still controlled by it since they meant my ‘get away’ from reality.

This is a point to consider for me every time that I simply miss myself breathing here and start accumulating this search for something to be entertained with. How I have dealt with it is simply physically doing the stuff I actually have to do, moving faster than the mind’s complains about it and that’s ok, however not applied to everything equally, which is the point to direct. However, I also have learned not to condemn everything that I would do for a moment of entertainment. As Anu said once, we would go crazy without those bits of entertainment, so it’s just to be aware of me not reloading the entire personality that I have created through, for example, listening to music and doing particular activities that are as simple as walking and deifying a particular color in the sky, but remain here as breath within the realization that in doing so, I am honoring myself and actually being self directive at all times within the experience.

I realize that every time that I deliberately take myself to a point of escapism through watching/ hearing something mostly is rather a red flag indication of what is it that I am not willing to face and direct within my reality – and as such I have to instead prioritize what I have to do instead of creating further judgments about it and creating a struggle between having to ‘do my responsibilities’ but wanting a moment of entertainment. The easy way through that is by agreeing to simply leave any form of entertainment for the end after I’ve covered all the points, or most of them that required immediate direction. Otherwise, backchat accumulates and then it’s just harder to get out of that inertia – for that I suggest reading Maya Rot’s blog Day 118 – Physics and the Desteni Process – Newton’s First Law of Motion – the Principle of Inertia to understand what it physically means to Move as a physical being in self-willed manner.

 

 

 

So, how can I turn this point of self interest to a best for all interest?

Stopping seeking only my personal satisfactions, seeking ‘a way out’ of my responsibilities in this world and instead direct me to implement a world system that I can be genuinely proud of having contributed to create. That’s what I have realized is what I’m here for and any form of entertainment can be seen just as that,  a moment wherein I do something else without defining myself according to it – obviously within the consideration of not harming myself/ anyone and considering at all times not enhancing these moments through energy, but physicalize it as part of the activities that I can give myself time to enjoy for a moment and that’s it.

 

If we create a world that is suitable for living in all aspects, everything we have deemed as our personality with specific traits that would exist as a form of rebellion toward the ‘establishment’ as I have done, will simply not exist. Now figure out all the entertainment industries that will have to be reconfigured to simply be an available point of expression wherein there is no more money involved or any other angst involved behind an expression, but simply being an actual available part for our personal development without having to make it a separate ‘profession’ or ‘career’ as I did in my case, studying art just because of not wanting to be part of everything that I judged this world system to stand for: abuse of life, never asking me how in my personal endeavors to seek ‘my way out’ I also neglected any form of reality and sought only my self interest wherein only ‘I’ could ‘feel good’ about myself and never even questioning what I was supporting with money and my participation in due to only seeking to exert my opinions and ‘way of looking at life’ without any consideration of the actual life as all the living beings that surely get neglected every time we only seek an energetic fix, which is the negligence to deliberately stop here.

 

What matters is existing as the consistency of myself here as a 1+ person that is committed for life to generate a world wherein who we are won’t exist as personalities that oppose, compete and spite each other, but work together and learn how to coexist to make life on Earth a point we want to Live in, and never again seek to destroy or turn into an energetic-factory machine for our personal delights and mindfucks.

 

– I’ll continue with some more considerations of our ‘doomsday’ personalities, the desire to End the world instead of taking responsibility for it and we’ll have a look at the Actual doomsday that is being generated by you and I every single day within our participation in this world system wherein Life is certainly not regarded at all.

 

 

 

 

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105. Having a Good Time is defined by MONEY

 

Self-Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to condition my expression with another from the starting point of whether the sound of their voice, their body movements and general ‘beingness’ in the moment is oozing positivity, happiness and a general sense of enjoyment wherein I then mirror the person’s attitude in an instant manner, wherein I allowed myself to be subdued by the entire positivity experienced within another, becoming an instant character that accepts ‘the positive’ as something that should not even be questioned because: it’s good! It’s positive! Let’s have fun! And as such, not realize how I would go into the absolute opposite with the same being whenever the situation and event would be experienced with the negatively charged attitude, bodily movements and voice tonality wherein then I would mirror their self-experience in a way wherein I could only suppress myself and limit my self expression out of fear of someone’s negative experience.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to create a positive experience out of a moment with my father wherein I can deduce and assess that ‘he’s had a cool day at work!’ because he is happy, which is the same as having money wherein then I choose to be happy as well as that means he won’t be in a bad mood/ angry toward everyone for not having a cool day at work. Within this, I see, realize and understand how I’ve come to mimic/ mirror another’s experience as my own and from that, create a starting point within myself of either positivity or negativity according to the person I’ll be interacting with presents themselves as, with either a positive or negative mood, within this defining an entire moment according to another’s experience, which was a common thing within me to limit myself by, wherein I would be cautious and careful to communicate within the consideration of another’s feelings and emotions in the moment, which means that I would always support their characterization by me becoming a supportive role in the play, and never taking a definitive stance to remain constant and consistent in my communication, but would instead become a mirror to others’ experiences as that would ensure that they remain in their characters and I remain as the ‘good person’ that will support their characters – whether they are positive or negative.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel excited and joyful about the idea of going out for dinner with my parents as that’s an indication that he’s got enough money to take us out and have a moment of what I defined as ‘fun,’ wherein I would then support the entire ‘good spirited’ situation/ moment by being equal to my father’s childish expression, which became a conditional aspect on whether he had enough money or not.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to never see how money would define my beingness as a mood situation as well, as when we were in severe financial trouble, I became more secluded, worried and anxious as a child and how things would change the moment that I knew we had enough money to have fun, go out, travel, which then became the polarized condition in my reality to either feel ‘good’ or ‘bad’ about life, never seeing how all and everything that I would do would be conditioned by the amount of money I had -through my father – or didn’t have, which is how my father’s mood and general stance would directly influence me and my stance due to the dependence that exists on a financial level toward him.

 

I realize that within a system wherein we are not supported equally from birth to death, children are conditioned to be dependent on their parents success/ failure to ‘make it’ within the world system of money, which is unacceptable as lives can be forever tainted if an unstable financial situation goes on at home, or there is no support at all at home which is why and how we currently live in a world wherein we have major problems on a ‘psychological level,’ simply because unconditional support is not given to all, hence survivalism leads to living an uncertain life wherein ‘who we are’ is dependent on having ‘good’ and ‘bad days’ that are defined according to the amount of money we have/ don’t have to live.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see how the entire starting point of ‘who I am’ in a moment can be absolutely determined by money as a positive experience or lack of money as negative experience wherein I can feel ‘content’ within myself because of, for example, my father having enough money to take us out for dinner, which I had defined as a treat and a luxury in terms of us not having had such moments in a long time in that moment in the past wherein a difficult financial situation was being faced at home.

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to start taking things for granted again when financial stability became a constant at home, forgetting how I had absolutely limited myself to a great extent when we had been through financial trouble, wherein I became more secluded, sad, dismal in my perspective toward the world as opposed to when I started seeing money again, which was the time when I then went on creating my own ‘problems’ in my mind as emotional and feeling situations, because money was no longer being a decisive factor for me to be either sad or happy any longer.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever feel ‘good’ and in ‘positive spirits’ whenever I was able to benefit from my father’s earned money at work, wherein I simply accepted ‘the positive’ as something that is certainly acceptable and normal to just give in as a ‘good moment,’ defining the entirety of ‘who I am’ according to the entire context of the moment: father being in a ‘good mod’= father having enough money to take us out for dinner = us having a good time all dependent on money itself.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel ‘good’ because of not having to feel guilty (wtf?) about me going to a restaurant and making my father spend money on me just because I know beforehand that he’s got money to pay for it – thus defining a good moment based on actually not having to be fearing or worrying about money in the moment, which indicates that such positive moments were never in fact real but only a counter-act to all the time that we would be in essence worrying about money and not having enough money to get our positive experiences such as going out for dinner on a Friday night.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define the entire stance of me being ‘in good spirits’ and generally complying to the entire bubble context of ‘happy family because there’s money to go out’ without questioning it further, and just complying to define that as ‘fun,’ shoving away and deliberately hiding the thoughts that would come up in such moments such as ‘why can’t all people just be happy as we are in the moment, having enough money to go out?’ which were thoughts that would come up when and during the traffic lights on the way to the restaurant we would encounter people that were working at that time selling things, doing street juggling in order to make a living, wherein I would immediately shut off my thoughts about that and would go back into the ‘feel good’ experience that I was carrying myself with along with my family.

 

 

Self Corrective Statements:

When and as I see myself conditioning my entire expression based on the context of a ‘good spirited moment’ based on for example, having enough money to have a moment of enjoyment with others and becoming absolutely enthralled with it and full with ‘joy,’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that such experience is then not me being here breath, but me giving into the experiences that I am perceiving within others and assessing through the realization that we can be ‘happy’ because we have enough money to enjoy ourselves, as enjoyment within this current world system is equated to having enough money to buy something/ consume and as such equate it with a positive experience.

 

When and as I see myself adapting my communication, my ‘beingness’ in a moment into a positive spirit/ enjoyment and overzealousness in relation to spending a moment with others, I stop and I breathe – I realize that such positive experience was only created and emerged from the starting point of a good mood created by having enough money, which means that such enjoyment would not be possible without any money. Thus I stop defining ‘who I am’ in relation to being in a good mood or a bad mood in relation to the amount of money that I have, wherein money is able to buy a ‘positive experience’ or create a negative one if there’s not enough money to survive.

 

When and as I see myself in ‘good spirits’ when having a moment of enjoyment that is being bought with money, I stop and I breathe – I realize that these situations have been taken for granted just because we have money to do so, without seeing how not everyone in the world can have access to such ‘enjoyment’ as money is not readily given as s form of unconditional support to live, which would then make an experience of enjoyment almost impossible as there would be, for example, no more people that would have to work in a restaurant serving others in order to make money as they will be equally supported by themselves.

 

Life will change in a way wherein the things that we have currently taken for granted will no longer exist, as they are based upon the abuse of others in order to create enough hierarchical power to ensure that there are always those ‘below’ that can be abused in order to give a certain service/ work in exchange of money, which is a condition of enslavement that we have made ‘ok’ in our reality and justifying it with the words ‘they have to make a living somehow,’ but not being willing to see how our very own positive experience is stemming from others’ enslavement to ‘make a living’ as in making money in any way available within the current world system.

 

When and as I see myself creating a positive experience out of the memory of having felt ‘bad’/ negative experience in the same situation, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am only going from one polarity to the other defining a moment based on memories and the ‘power’ that money currently has in order to buy good moments/ experiences and the opposite which is how we experience ourselves as depressed whenever there’s not enough money to buy/ consume positive experiences, which is how and why we require to equalize the ability for all to have a proper constant and continuous support, so that we can stop going from one pole to the other seeking for positive experiences because they will be readily available, wherein the have/ have not experience will no longer define who we are in our communication, in our beingness and relationship with others in our reality, as money will no longer be a factor to create either positive or negative experiences, but will become a constant source of support for all in equality.

 

When and as I see myself going into a positive experience when getting money, I stop and I breathe – I realize that this is a perceptual experience wherein the ‘positive attitude character’ is triggered, creating the illusion of having a ‘good moment’ that is only equated to ‘having enough money to live,’ which is how we have defined our beingness as being constantly seeking for the positive, the money and the ‘good times ‘ that are able to be bought with money, while trying to escape, prevent and avoid at all cost ending up in the other side of the coin as in having no money and as such, getting a negative experience out of it.

 

I commit myself to establish a monetary system wherein children and parents will be equally supported from birth to death, which implies that there will no longer be family conflicts in terms of a financial situation of lack being a definitive factor within the beings’ lives and everyday experience, wherein the lack of money creates a general hostile environment of ‘bad mood’/ anger/ frustration/ irritation that is then plundered onto the children, affecting children’s lives in a way that parents cannot yet fathom as they believe that children do not ‘care’ about such monetary conflicts, yet it does as everything that we do and how we function currently in this world is defined by and according to money – therefore with giving unconditional support to all beings, we ensure that children and parents are no longer having to suffer a lack of money defining their entire beingness and life experience, but instead make of life support a constant experience that is readily available for all, as that way we ensure that who we are is the expression itself of life that is here, always unconditionally existing here and that it is us human beings that now must establish a living-system on Earth wherein such unconditional support is extended in an organized manner, such as the Equal Money System to finally be able to focus our lives into an actual development of who we are as living beings on Earth – instead of defining our entire lives based on ‘education’ only to ‘make it’ within a system where everything we’ve done is and has been defined by money itself. This is how we can ensure that our every day living on Earth becomes an opportunity for self-expansion and genuine enjoyment, as there will be no need to create a separate moment of enjoyment according to having money to do so.

 

I realize that the moment I start taking my life for granted, I miss out on what is real and must then bring myself back here where I can definitely ensure that I am in fact considering how every single day that I am able to continue living is linked to my ability to have money, which is something that Not everyone on Earth has  – thus I commit myself to take responsibility for this fuckup as the world system that has deliberately marginalized those that have no money at all to live and how their lives cannot be ‘taken for granted’ as they haven’t been granted with the basic living rights to LIVE on Earth.

 

Hence any and all ‘good spirits’ moment is a cover up and make up illusion to the reality that is here, wherein any ‘good moment’ is actually a masquerade to cover the truth that is here, that is in no way something I can feel content about – thus any good moment experience is actually self-interest only and a point of separation from what is REAL.

 

Stand up and support the Equal Money System

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