Tag Archives: egotistic

Day 16: Ego-trips of the Heart

We live in a reality wherein we believe we are perfectly flawed by-design, which is what leads us to go seeking relationships to give ourselves some power when the ego trips. Such trips, however can become as toxic as a general addiction that is not supportive yet keeps us preoccupied in our minds as if it was a matter of life and death to get, want, need, desire and even be constantly fantasizing about a ‘becoming more’ by being at the side (expense) of another.


And it is this ‘power’ that we seek which we use to drive ourselves to within the ultimate egotistical existence that we’ve made of this world, which is when we are only thinking about ourselves, the satisfaction of our needs, wants and desires wherein all we really care about is creating our little heaven on Earth as a way to simply feel alright and content, which is created by energy that comes from that initial relationships that we exist as toward ourselves and everyone else within: negativity, dissatisfaction, ‘unwholiness’ which becomes this nagging experience of having to ‘fill the hole’ and the commonly accepted and promoted way to do so in our society, which is through establishing relationships. Little did we know that this was the perfect way to establish the necessary traps wherein each person could only exist as the necessary fuel to perpetuate the necessary combustion that would generate the necessary energy for our own mind-traps to exist in this reality.


It’s just like how you eat and oxygen ensues the necessary chemical reactions to obtain the nutrients for your body –though in this ego-tripping relationships we’ve formed in our world, such nutrients/ fuel was not at a physical level as self support, but was transformed into fuel to further elevate ourselves and our ego as we would go appraising our ‘value’ according to who we were toward others in our reality.


We as society work just like wall street – and we even dare to rejoice in judging wall street for that matter –because we’ve become the exact replica of trading ourselves in the ‘big market’ trying to sell ourselves to the greatest bidder. We have become the ultimate judges that decides who lives and who dies according to ‘how worthy’ / how worthwhile it is to invest on someone that could give me some proper remuneration after some time of capitalizing interest to get the most profit/ benefit from such investment/ relationship.


See, we’ve become the perfect money-depictions in our world, which means that we’ve lived as monetary values instead of actual living beings as Life that are able to coexist and relate to each other as equals – oh no, that would have been simply ‘too fulfilling’/ whole/ complete/ stable to ever generate any form of friction which is the only way that energy is created and the element that is required to keep our entire world system running .


I am certain that if you are reading about this for the first time, it might be a shock to know that the ‘love’ that you believe you give and receive from others can be equalized to monetary values – well, it’s not really a mystery either considering how because of us depending from money to exist, all our relationships are based on and stemming from the basic – conscious or unconscious – obliged regard toward our basic survival in this world, which is translated to: making sure we have enough money to continue ‘living’ which is the primary point that overrides any other desire or need for that matter which can be regarded as secondary when it comes to relationships.


Yes, what does that mean? That all our basic forms of interaction toward others and that which we have regarded as ‘pure’ and ‘innocent’  have in fact been the most suitable means to propitiate a life-long entertainment within a human being’s mind which is: love, relationships, sex and the entire cycle of ego enhancement that goes along with wanting to obtain some form of validation by another human being in this world in order to be ‘worthy of living.’ Is this Really so?


What is Ego enhancement other than the build-up of the idea of yourself as your personality, your beliefs, your thoughts, preferences, the entirety of ‘who you are’ which can actually be stopped and walked through a Self-Corrective Process if you are willing in any way to get to know who you really are behind the usual mask that we create to  present ourselves toward ‘others’ in our reality. That in itself, that very act of identifying ourselves as ‘who we are’ according to a single set of values/ preferences/ ideas implies that we are monetizing ourselves as money implies survival and survival is all we have sought for the moment that we are born into a world wherein life is not readily-given, but only earned throughout a process of believing that there is not enough for everyone and that you and ‘I’ must strive to ‘make a living’ in any way.


How is that related to seeking for love and a certain sense of fulfillment at a personal level? How else can you sustain such love if it’s not by money that is required by the very basic premise that you would not have anything to eat or time to think about love if the basic needs such as food, water, shelter, clothing and others such as education, proper income and a general stability in your world didn’t exist. Thus, this is to place into perspective how much we have taken for granted the ability to lie to ourselves, deny to ourselves the ability to live as equals simply because of having to feed each other’s obsessions through restricting and framing ourselves in a certain value that is not considering the only value that must exist in this world and existence which is Life – isn’t that the ultimate masochism at an existential level?


Yes, for love to exist an initial lack must exist. This initial separation can be labeled in any negative way. I am sure that at some point in your life you’ve hated yourself – in one way or another – and that includes projecting this experience toward the entire world and in that, missing out the basic factor that lead me to ‘hate’ and ‘love’ which is standing within a particular and defined idea of self that can only love or hate if disregarding in such biased filter of reality that there is absolutely much more than just fixating on the idea of a certain experience being fulfilled within unequal relationships.


Once this point of Self Honesty acknowledgment is established, it becomes very easy to see how we have fed each other’s beliefs on requiring to exist in relationships to be worthy, to be finally ‘complete’ and in that, miss out the actual trap that was created by and for ourselves which is existing in the name of the current capitalist system.

Who is going to unscrew ourselves from this artificially sweetened ‘lifestyle’? No one else but ourselves, walking through a Process of Self Forgiveness wherein we start living the realization that everything we thought we lacked, we can actually give to ourselves within an equal understanding for all, together.


So – if this is understood as a general living condition for all, I am sure that such unusual perspectives upon love and money will come as a necessary link to see how self-interest has become the driving force behind money.

This is how when equalizing ourselves as Life, the existence of money as the epitome of self-interest and greed in humanity must be transformed/ redefined and actually evolve into a sustainable system wherein the one and only value that can ever exist is who we really are as one and equals as Life


Equal Money System

Got a heart

Got a Heart? (2003)


Desteni Forum

Desteni I Process 


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