Tag Archives: emo

389. Are Emotions Necessary to Be Creative?

Demystifying artistic endeavors and the experience during creative processes.

Continuing from:

 

Dejar de Sentir 04

For further context, an emotion is a usually negative experience that in my case I would use as a reason, starting point and ‘catalyst’ to create art. Now, one would believe that ‘negative experiences’ are usually undesirable, however in my case they became similar to how a person would want to hold on to happiness because of enjoying the experience of it. This is how I became a person that was more used to being within emotions rather than feelings – and the reason why being because I linked my experience as a response to me seeing the world around me and making ‘no sense of it,’ and as such having wanted to ‘escape’ it through my experience and my hobby, among other relationships and habits that were intertwined as a way to define ‘me’ as an emotional person that is too sensitive to the state of the world in which I would get to ‘feel good’ in such emotional states – therefore the context of this is to realize that an emotional experience even if it’s negative it is no different to being living through mostly feelings and ‘positive experiences’ as both are energy-based experiences that exist at a mind level.

 

Self Forgiveness on Emo-creations:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the word ‘expression’ based on artistic creation and thus limit the word expression to be immediately linked to ‘creating artworks’ or producing a formal piece of art mostly through drawing and painting wherein I would define expressing as experiencing an emotion or feeling within me and producing something while experiencing such feeling or emotion, sometimes of anger, sometimes of gloom and doom – most of the times – sometimes a yearning, hope, hopelessness and some other times just imagining what it would be to live in a perfect world, sadness – all of these I had defined as ‘my expression’ because at that time I had linked the ‘who I am’ entirely intertwined with emotions. This I now realize is not who I really am as those are emotions and feelings that I created a relationship with based on how I would experience myself within them, and thus how I accepted them as ‘who I am’ and eventually believing that ‘this is My expression’ which means an experience that is generated while creating an artwork.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe at that time that my expression was ‘unique’ and that means that my constant ‘mood’ or ‘state of being’ as any of these emotions were my catalyst to express myself/to create – therefore that is how the moment that I stopped being hopeless, angry, sad or moody I stopped ‘expressing myself’ as in creating any artwork, just because of how much I had linked the two points in relation to my emotional experience. Therefore

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my creative abilities and skills based on ‘how I would feel’ and as such determining and defining that I could only ‘express myself’ if I was feeling in a particular ‘mood’ and thus dooming myself to only ‘feel creative’ based on an emotional experience, without realizing that a creative process has nothing to do with an emotional experience as it is a physical act of arranging certain elements to create something physical, to develop certain skills and that has nothing to do with an emotion directing my hand or my use of materials to do something.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit the expression of ‘I’m feeling creative’ to an experience, an emotion such as sadness, hopelessness, anger or general state of doom and gloom that I would then get excited about in order to ‘let it all out’ in a painting or drawing or writing sometimes as well, which I see is all linked to how I would hear/read about other artists like painters or musicians or writers how they would feel a certain way when they would create at their best, and so believing within myself in a way that because I was stopping my emotional participation and feeling experiences, then I wasn’t going to be able to create ‘good stuff’ any longer – which is then limiting my creation to emotions and feelings and it shouldn’t be so.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘want to turn back time’ in order to change my decisions in life, which is rather not possible and it indicates that I haven’t dealt with the fact that I chose something based on my emotional experience about it and as such I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to choose and make decisions in my life based on how I felt about it, based on my emotional experience and pursuing further emotional involvement in my life, without then knowing or even realizing how this was going to only lead me to continue being in a certain state of mind and ‘mood’ wherein I would have not been able to be stable as I am now since I had linked – back then – the creative process to emotions, a continued state of doom and gloom and be glorified by it – which is something that I saw was ‘special’ about people like Frida Kahlo for example who became a background influence and how I saw suffering as the key for her to make real art, as well as that whole blog I wrote about ‘You’ll need to suffer to make any real art’ as I realize that it’s about time that we as humanity move from linking emotions and feelings to creations that can become a supportive tool to realize ourselves, instead of glorifying emotions and feelings and keep us all trapped in the same mindset of being a ‘tormented sensitive individual in this evil world’ which is how I would see myself back then.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ‘feel creative’ when I was frustrated and angry for me not being ‘creating anything’ and as such the last time that I painted for a day or so, I was experiencing mostly emotions that I tried to once again ‘let out’ through the creative process which is rather like a mindfuck really because I realize that painting is a physical act of having materials that one use to arrange and imprint and mold and shape things in order to be arranged as a final product/ a final something that I create. So, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I was incapable of creating anything ‘good’ without experiencing emotions such as sadness or being depressed and so linking my own stability to ‘not having anything to express’ or even ‘not being able to express now because I am not feeling that same way.’

I realize that it is about then dissociating any creative process from ‘how I feel’ or the ‘emotions’ I once believed I had to experience in order for me to ‘feel creative’ and realize that being creative is not a feeling, but a doing, a physical act of arranging certain matters and elements or images that I then use to create something that either generates a specific visual product or creative writing etc – anything that can be used to provide a message, to ‘say something’ through images or words or sounds or it all together. This is how then I see that my creative expression is linked to the media, the tools, the elements I can use to generate an expression, a message and that these are all conscious decisions and physical actions/moves to generate it and that I do not require an emotion to do it.

When and as I see myself believing that ‘I need to ‘feel creative’ as in being in a certain mood to create’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am limiting myself to experiencing emotions and not ‘any’ emotion but very specific ones in order to link it to ‘feeling creative’ which is not acceptable as I’ve already seen, realized and understood that ‘creating’ is a physical act, an intellectual process of picking elements and arranging them in order to produce a physical/digital product that I use to ‘express’ something, without this ‘expression’ meaning an emotion or a feeling only – but sometimes it is for the sheer aesthetics of it, sometimes in order to provide my own version of something I see in the world and this thus means stopping seeing ‘art’ as this emotional-creative process and creation as that is rather limiting once that I realize that I am here, I am a physical being and don’t really require emotions to exist and create.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that ‘something is missing’ while creating something and seeing it as ‘pointless’ because I had mostly defined the process of creation as ‘having to generate an experience within me’ and if this was not in place, then It was ‘useless’ – so this is obviously me as the mind speaking and defining what ‘gives it a kick’ as an experience, an emotion while creating something or afterward when seeing the ‘final product’ instead of realizing that anything we create is a physical thing and I do not require to ‘feel’ something while looking at it, while doing it or being creating something – as this would only be ‘feeding the mind’ that seeks an energetic experience out of it. So this implies that expression is just that, me extending myself to use what I have available to say something, to do something, to arrange something in a way that I decide it to be and with a particular purpose – and this is then only doing that, creating something.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to link the definition of something being ‘pointless’ as in not getting an experience out of it in relation to the process of creating something or the final product thereof, based on how I would deem myself as ‘having a point’ or ‘having a reason’ to create when early on I would have people observing ‘my creations’ and writing about it or leaving comments or even poems to which I defined that ‘It meant something, I had a point’ and so when all of this stopped essentially because I stopped wanting to feed this ego of mine, then because I knew I wasn’t going to get the ‘energy fix’ out of it, then it became ‘pointless’ without realizing that this is once again the polarity creation of me first getting an energetic-kick out of ‘my creations’ and then when I stopped generating this emotions and experiences around it, then I saw it as ‘pointless’ – it’s only the mind speaking.

When and as I see myself having the starting point of ‘creating something’ based on the expectations of feedback, comments or others ‘admiring it’ – I stop and I breathe – I realize that anything I create is a process that I conduct out of my own volition, for my own support and to ‘straighten my ideas’ instead of expecting others to like it or praise it or comment on it, as this is already a conditional point to my expression based on ‘how others receive it’ which is usually how the ego that I formed in relation to ‘being an artist’ operates: doing things that would make me feel something while doing them, and also confirm such ‘specialness’ through the feedback I’d get from others. In this believing that without such ‘experience’ then it would be similar to rather doing nothing as ‘I would get nothing out of it’ lol, which is just ‘not getting and not participating’ in the ego-kick I had defined art to do ‘for me.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to link the idea of ‘being creative’ to ‘being an artist’ and as such believing that ‘I am no longer creative because I am no longer emotional’ without realizing that this ‘linkage’ was created within the ‘who I was’ in the past and now I realize that being creative is simply having the ability to use what is here in order to ‘make’ something, to do something that can be supportive to convey a message, to be a supportive tool to illustrate something or sometimes just to make it for ‘the sake of it’ – however I understand that there is now the aspect of self-responsibility in everything that I create either at a mental or physical level and as such, I realize that doing something for the sake of ‘feeling’ something is not viable and not supportive – therefore I allow myself to see the word ‘creative’ or ‘being creative’ as what it means: doing something, making something from ‘scratch’ meaning using the elements that we have available in a particular order or arrangement to make something ‘new’ out of it – even if we cannot really create something ‘out of nothing’ as we always use what is here anyways.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that ‘because of Process I stopped creating’ when in fact it was me through my limited definition of ‘being creative only when I’m emotional’ that I then saw that it was ‘not possible’ for me to create while being ‘stopping participation in emotions and feelings’ and also because of linking ‘creating’ and ‘being an artist’ to already pursuing an experience of ‘being more than/ being special/ being unique/ having to build up this unique presentation of myself’ which are all stereotypes I’ve picked up throughout the years based on how I carefully planned myself, my ego/personality adding up bits and bits that would shape me into becoming the ‘special’ individual I wanted myself to be back then. Therefore when realizing the starting point of my decision to study art, to ‘be creative’ and to follow through with it all into a career, I stopped wanting to have anything to do with it based on my own self-dishonesty as the starting point to it. Hence the ‘hate’ experience toward it that emerged was based on me having to let go of that which I had first given a lot of value, time, effort to create – and so it was like having to deconstruct that which I had invested a lot of time, effort, money on and so believe that now that I have to deconstruct the ‘ego’ of myself that I’ve created as an artist, I cannot now dedicate myself to this as it would be dishonest’ without realizing that such statement is rather limiting as well, and nothing else but holding the same relationship of friction and conflict with it, instead of establishing an equality toward this profession and treat it like any other profession, instead of wanting to ‘scratch it out’ of my life almost – yet at the same time liking and enjoying even watching/looking at the stuff that I did before.

Therefore I realize that in order to align myself to this profession it is to precisely not look at it within the eyes and mind-frame of the ‘who I was’ as that is certainly not here as myself as the decision of who I want to be and become any longer, and it would be rather difficult for me to pretend to ‘feel’ the same way I used to – but this doesn’t mean that I don’t have now the ability to create/be creative and use any material, tool or media to do create something that can be useful to convey a message. I realize that most of my limitation to ‘create’ comes from re-enacting the overall cycle of regretting my decisions, regretting my choice of career and using this to stop me or preventing me from doing anything ‘creative’ or create something, which doesn’t make sense as it is only me in my mind preventing me from doing something based on the definitions I’ve charged to even the moment of preparing myself to pain or create something, believing that I should be ‘feeling’ in a certain mood, while I realize now that it doesn’t have to be that way at all now.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in my mind as the ‘who I was’ apply the usual extremism of ‘If I won’t get my emotional fix from it, then I want nothing to do with it’ which is kind of like a tantrum kind of experience or even self-spitefulness when realizing that I cannot continue ‘feeding’ my obsessions so to speak, and creating this ‘special aura’ around myself as ‘the artist’ or any emotional experience and as such, there’s also that layer of not being able to now use art to ‘generate these things for me, therefore I dump it’ and so going into the polarity aspect of denigrating it, seeing it as useless/pointless based on the definitions I had created about it. I realize that in doing this I do nothing but reactivate the grudge or regret or any other experience I had held toward ‘art’ or my career or anything related to ‘artists’ themselves, instead of seeing them and the profession in itself as a any other occupation in this world that one can use and become it in order to direct a new way to live it, to participate in society, to create and innovate ways in which change at an individual level can be conducted.

In this case I realize that de-mystifying the artistic-personality as a highly emotional individual is quite overrated and I realize that it was my ideas, beliefs and perceptions that shaped this definition within me and that an artist itself should not be other than a human being that can use creative processes at a physical and intellectual level in order to provide his/her own view of the world in order to convey a message, or express something that can be received by others as a way of communication.

I commit myself to be able to use any media, elements and skills that I realize can be used to generate a product or ‘something’ that I can use to convey a message, no different to writing and no different to being painting or drawing or creating images, as we can communicate in many ways as human beings, using different tools and methods to it – therefore I use what is here without defining it any longer within the constrains of  my old definition of art, but redefine art as a human creation that is conveying a message, is saying something and that’s it. It doesn’t have to me more or less than that which is equal to everything and everyone else that is here as life.

 

I commit myself to not link words like ‘expression’ or ‘creativity’ to only exist within the past-mindframe of ‘artistic expression’ but to identify them within the physical context that they imply which is me deciding to use certain elements and tools to make something, arrange something in order to give it a purpose, a meaning, and an intent within it.

 

I realize how these experiences stem from the relationship I formed toward art, meaning a relationship of separation wherein I would ‘get something out of it’ for my own mind-benefit and this is how when stopping that benefit – no different to stopping any other relationship with an individual – it is like the ‘shortage’ of experience makes me believe that it is ‘its fault’ or that I should now avoid and have to do nothing with the source of ‘temptation’ so to speak, without realizing that this is how we create our dramas as humans beings with these love-hate experiences based on how we would believe ourselves to ‘benefit’ from something, without understanding the actual relationship of separation formed in the first place.

So this is how through equalizing myself to myself, my ability to do/create/direct and make things is my own decision, my own ability and there’s nothing ‘more’ to it other than what it is as any other point that I create, arrange or direct as they are all also creative processes as well – no more and no less.

 

 

Trees are black

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Day 50: I Ate Myself Today

What does it mean to ‘Feed my obsessions?’ and how is this related to Eating myself? The current understand that we’re getting from the Heaven’s Journey to Life blog, implies that we have in fact been our own parasite as the mind eating away on our very own physical body. It’s fascinating that we reprimand cannibalism – some can even express being utterly disgusted by it – yet we do this to ourselves every single moment that we are existing in our minds, feeding our obsessions as thoughts, feelings, emotions and anything that we can ‘grab onto’ from our reality, which becomes a point of stimulation for ourselves as the mind to hold on to that point, and take it to the level of complete possession wherein ‘who I am’ is no longer here-as-breath, but instead  consuming/depleting myself as the physical body every single moment that I give my breaths away to feed but one single thought, which through repetition and patterns can become an obsession.

 

This pattern of ‘me feeding my obsessions’ has been a great distractor within my reality, wherein one single point of stimulation can divert my attention from here-as-breath, physically present as my body, and into a mind-shift wherein all that I remain doing is ‘thinking’ about that something/someone/event that becomes ‘my point’ to grab onto in order to continue existing only as a mind that thinks and has no-regard whatsoever for HOW it is being fed in itself, which is: through the consumption and transformation of the physical into energy, which is like the way we have violated life of oneness and equality and extracting – just like fracking, drilling, exploiting wells – and transforming it – like refining oil for gas – into a form of energy that is able to serve as fuel for the mind.

 

I had begun exploring this point of judging waste/ garbage outside of myself, without being aware of how I am depleting myself at a physical level by the very participation in the mind as consciousness, within my conscious mind that then activates everything that I exist as within/as my mind consciousness system. This implies that we have all been very busy depleting, consuming and literally eating ourselves whenever we feed our obsessions = whenever we feed our own mind.

 

And, that has been a definitive pattern that I have walked wherein my own ‘diligence’ in other areas, becomes equally diligent within the ‘feeding my obsessions’ point, wherein I won’t stop until I satiate that need – it’s just like vampires, lol, now I see why I would get such a kick out of reading those stories because, the drive for blood was so great that it became almost like an elation in itself to ‘look for it,’ which is quite similar to how we go ‘seeking for love’ and sickening ourselves to the bone by depleting the very physical through that constant feed of obsessions with our own physicality/life substance, which is the very ‘point’ that we have missed as humanity all the way:

 

Our minds consume our physicality

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘feed my obsessions’ indiscriminately because it usually generates this exhilaration as a ‘good feeling’ that I have accepted and allowed in the past to exist as ‘reasons to live,’ which implies that I diminished my day to day living to a continuous point that I had to ‘achieve,’ such as attaining a goal, a relationship, going somewhere, experiencing myself in a particular moment or event, which would become a constant conscious thought that I would ‘feed’ every single moment that I wasn’t here-as-breath but only as a mind feeding itself off of my physical body substance, which is the actual ‘fuel’ for the mind – without me ever being aware or even caring enough to ponder: how is it that my mind is being fueled?

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever be afraid and disgusted at cannibalism, without realizing that I am my very own cannibal the moment that I continue participating in the mind while already now knowing that I eat myself, I consume and deplete my very own life substance ever single moment that I give my moment here-as-breath into feeding one single thought that becomes ‘my obsession,’ simply because it generates a ‘good experience’ within me – within this

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that it was ‘okay’ for me to ‘chase my dreams’ because apparently ‘that’s what we as human beings are here on Earth for! To achieve our goals, dreams and greatest illusions!’ and in that, believing that because everyone else is doing it: why can’t I also do it? And so, becoming the perfect preprogrammed organic robot in a society that is specifically built, structured and organized in a way that we are constantly bombarded and stuffed with points that we can generate an obsession for: either a ‘perfect partner/ spiritual soul-mate,’ a pair of shoes, a great restaurant to attend, the ultimate car, some nice vacations in the Bahamas, getting the ultimate games, music, watching movies, attending parties, socializing while consuming anything – and any other point that becomes this ‘constant’ though in our heads that we then agree to ‘work for’ because: it is worth it, we are worth it – which has not become by casualty part of the advertisement’s mottos in order to make it ‘okay’ to feed our obsessions.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to neglect my common sense and shape myself according to what everyone else was doing, which was feeding their obsessions about music, idolizing famous people, wanting to buy lots of clothes, products that would make us ‘feel better’ about ourselves, without ever realizing that: from the moment that we give permission as the acceptance (cause) and allowance (effect) to feed that obsession as an actual desire/ want/ need = we comply to the entire consumerist behavior that is broadly accepted in our society, wherein we have all agreed to ‘feed each other’s obsessions’ through making it ‘okay’ to equate live = consuming, buying, satisfying ourselves with products, things, relationships as life-experiences that we believe is ‘all we’re here for’ when in fact, who and what we have become, is nothing but a machine that is able to justify, excuse and vindicate any means/ ways to obtain its satisfaction as that positive energy that is created the moment that we ‘give into’ our obsessions and don’t stop until we get it.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to never realize that I would actually only be obsessed and feeding my obsessions for the actual ‘good feeling’ that I would create within myself, placing aside the common sense that would actually rear its head every time that I would realize that: everything/ everyone that I desired and that had become that point of obsession, was never ‘as good as’ I had ‘Thought’ it would be, because the Idea and belief that I formed about that something/ someone Never matched reality. This implies that I had only been feeding my own mind, through using my physical life substance to do so, in order to make myself ‘feel good’ and in most instances, ‘feel alive’ through feeding my thoughts, feelings and emotions about that something/ someone, wherein I ultimately disregarded the fact that: it was never about ‘them’ but it was only about me-feeding my-own obsessions to make-me ‘feel good’ and reduce my physical body to a single energy-making machine that feeds the mind through depleting itself as life.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use something/ someone as a point of stimulation within my mind that I grab onto as a way to continue perpetuating myself as only an experience generated through thoughts and feelings that I use to ‘feel good’ about myself, thinking that I was actually ‘living’ while desiring/ daydreaming/wanting/ needing – when in fact, all of it was made ‘acceptable’ within ourselves as human beings, through that very initial acceptance of ‘who we are’ as only mind-energy demons that feed off of the physical substance/ life that we are, which we have neglected throughout our entire existence, using it as literally only a physical bait to attract others into our reality, reducing ourselves to a single image-based reality that is virtually only fed-for and specifically manipulated in order to Feed our Minds – but Never consider what we really are as physical beings, beyond a single image in the mind.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having become horrified at the sight of natural resources’ extraction/ exploitation such as fracking, without realizing that I have been doing the exact same thing within my very own physical body, which implies that this world is the exact replica and representation of who we are and what we exist-as within our own minds, which reveals to what extent we have become judges of our own deeds, condemning our very own functioning that we have conveniently veiled ourselves from seeing, because: the truth and reality of who and what we have become, has Nothing to do with light or love, has nothing to do with ‘feeling good’ about a single iota of mind movement that I use in order to satisfy and satiate myself as a mind, because all that I have ever fed is my own mind.

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to believe that I was ‘nurturing myself’ with ‘love’ which is part of the programming that I got fed-with through learning lyrics and complying to the popular culture in a specific ‘branch’ of it, that I deemed would use ‘love’ as a more ‘spiritual’ thing other than just a physical-bait for sex that is understood, without realizing that all forms of obsession are the same, we can simply choose to ‘coat it’ with either chocolate, caramel or nuts and still it is the same thing: a point of obsession that makes me feel ‘good’ about myself and my reality, which is only a reality generated through and by the mind, neglecting at all times the actual physicality that I exist as.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to ask forgiveness to my body for what I’ve done to it in the name of feeding my relationship obsessions, I am witnessing the consequences of this continued application throughout my life and all I can say is that I forgive myself for having neglected at all times the fact that I sought myself outside of myself this whole time, while reducing my own physical body to a single instrument of chasing-after that which I wanted to ‘obtain/ get’ to ‘satisfy myself.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consume my very own physical body/ life substance every moment that I sought to be ‘fulfilled’ in separation of myself through attaining something/ someone/ going somewhere else – and in this, neglecting every single moment that I lived HERE as myself, as Life in the Physical, which is now what I am walking as myself, in order to establish for the very first time that equal and one relationship with myself as my physical body, now that I’ve realized how I had become the ultimate obsession for ‘something/ someone’ in separation of myself in my mind, while disregarding and completely ignoring myself as my physical body that I am here, as breath as life.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become obsessed with my own mind as thoughts, feelings and ideas as future projections that I use to instigate a ‘good feeling’/ positive experience within me, which stems from this inherently accepted and allowed perception of myself ‘not being complete/ not being good enough’ wherein I then sought-myself in separation of who I am here-as-breath as the physical. Thus, I stop feeding my obsessions and becoming obese with my own over-eating to fuel my obsessions and mind-addictions in order to feed one single pattern that I, through cultural cultivation, had accepted as ‘who/ what I must aspire to be/become’ which is a ‘satisfied person’ – which implies the saturation of myself of positive energy that seeks to rejuvenate itself as a mind every single moment that such saturation of myself as positive energy goes to a low, which is when I then re-activate my obsession as the mind, neglecting myself here-as-breath – in order to place into motion the extraction of physicality life-substance at the service of the mind-system and Not of myself here-as-breath, as life.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate the act of eating something outside of myself from eating-myself, which implies that the energy-resources that I am ‘craving for’ are in fact mind generated when not having established a physical-relationship with my own physical body to realize, see and understand what is it that I am ‘in-fact’ requiring to eat, and what is simply only a mind-related consumption of food in separation of myself here-as-breath.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that ‘feeding someone else’s obsession’ was in any way some type of sexual innuendo that I would play out in order to have power over others, which I learned through songs and pictures and ideas of what would be ‘enjoyable’ within others, which was only enjoyable within who I am as a mind system that is willing to create the most twisted and bizarre ways of satisfying ourselves as an idea of the mind, as the ego and personality that has never in fact been ourselves here-as-life, as the physical – but only who we are as mind-systems that work in a system of money wherein everything that will give us a ‘high’ is directly linked to having to ‘buy it’ and consume it’ in the name of our personal glory and satisfaction.

 

I commit myself to establish my own relationship with my physical body first and foremost before even attempting to walk with others in equality, as I see and realize that the moment that I miss-myself and instead divert my attention of here-as-breath into the mind as ‘feeding my obsessions’ as future projection, I am in fact only existing in the mind and not here-as-breath. Thus I walk my self-agreement process wherein I make sure that who I am is always here as self, constant and consistently existing as the physical, wherein any single diversion into the mind, is called out into awareness of me here-as-breath to walk Self-Forgiveness here-as-life in order to establish myself as the directive principle of who I am in every single moment.

 

I commit myself to become more aware of what am I feeding myself with as food and going establishing awareness to see how if I am eating is in fact required by my physical body, or if it is only feeding myself as a mind-obsession that is always justifying and excusing its desire/ want/ need for mind fuel as the deification of energy for/ as the mind, while defying and neglecting the physical that must be invariably abused, used and depleted in order to satisfy the mind’s obsessions.

 

I commit myself to stop every single thought that becomes an instant obsession within myself, from a single picture presentation, an ideal of living, a desire to be somewhere else, a desire to be experiencing a particular emotion that I had become so used to in the past as any for of temporary sense of ‘satisfaction’ that would satiate my mind for a while, only leaving me high and dry after a while and asking for more.

 

I commit myself to establish myself from here on as the point that is able to give herself/itself back to Earth wherein the energy that I consume is no longer used to abuse life, but is instead used to support Life as who I am, wherein all that I consume is given back to Earth, Earthing all the energy that I’ve abused and give it back to self.

 

I commit myself to establish a world-system of money – the Equal Money System – wherein we will no longer be brainwashing each other in the name of consumption as buying, consuming, producing and selling that which we know is detrimental to life on Earth, but we currently comply to it because our lives depend on ‘making money to survive,’ which reveals to what extent we have compromised life to this compro = ‘I buy’ in Spanish – mise (miser) and in that, reducing our entire existence to a buy-consume happy-go-lucky living that is absolutely energy-based and Never has been physical awareness and consideration of self-here as life, breathing, walking, physically existing as the flesh and bones, as the organism that simply requires breath and physical substance at the moment to exist.

 

Do we really LOVE or only ( H ) Ate ourselves while doing so?

What are we doing to ourselves

 

Interviews on the subject matter Life

 

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