Tag Archives: emotion

242. Overwhelmed by the Abuse upon Life?

194. Let the Mask Fall!

Human Perception is our Greatest Enemy. Because, it has Devolved into Complete Separation as Self-Interest where the Individual will do its Utmost, to Ensure its own Comfort, Luxury and Survival – No Matter What. That is Extremely Unpleasant – to Watch a World, where Not a Single Face Presented in any way, can be Trusted to be the Real Face. It is Disheartening, to be in a World where no-one really Care. No matter how much Doomsday we have every day, no matter how many Living Beings die – there is just Silence. Not even a Cry. And, no one Shed a Tear. All Accepted, and Allowed.” – Bernard Poolman+

 

Please read the previous entry 241. The EndGame Show: 2012 to get a context on the points I’ll be walking in Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Statements.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within the consideration of humanity being fucked, having no regard to any other human being, I cultivated a desire to have everything be wiped out/ humanity disappearing and within this, create a layer of disdain toward humanity as a whole, without realizing that in this I was simply projecting blame onto others within a stance of superiority/innocence as if I had not participated in every single point that is leading us to this current situation of being close to our own annihilation and annihilating the lives of every single particle that is also here as part of who we are, without realizing that by the sheer fact of me existing, I am equally responsible to any single point I could criticize/ judge or even be ashamed of that other human beings represent in this world.

 

When and as I see myself participating within a quiet-desire for everything to just ‘disappear’ and have humanity wiped out, I stop and I breathe. I realize that facing the reality that we have all participated in is certainly part of what we have to breathe through because I realize that my experience and my desires to ‘end it all’ have no ability to support any being for that matter. Thus I breathe and stop participating in any thoughts that contribute to separating myself from others and the responsibility we all hold as having been equal participants within the current state of humanity.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience disgust as ourselves, human beings, for doing what we’re doing onto each other and every single animal, plant and small particle as part of our existence that we are abusing and simply disregarding within any consideration of them all being also part of what should be regarded as equal, equally valuable, equally important to make life on Earth possible but instead, we have become so imbued in our own pursuit of happiness, of a good time that everyone is just caring after their own well being and survival, because we have all collectively accepted a system wherein one just care-after oneself only, never promoting an actual collective sense of existence/ coexisting and requiring the same points to live thus

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that the evil that I judge and create emotional experiences about when witnessing it within my reality, is nothing else but the consequential outflow of a collective agreement wherein we have accepted and allowed disparity, inequality and scarcity toward fellow human beings, simply because of accepting a country’s economy, a race, a region of the world and the disparity in currencies as actually ‘acceptable’ and ‘real,’ without realizing that in this make-believe world-system, we had never questioned why we haven’t been genuinely benevolent to each other to stop all forms of political, economical and social separations in order to Grant Access to all that is required to live as natural resources and necessary tools to be able to thrive as humanity no matter where we are located in this world.  Within this

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that judging the Evil in humanity is absolutely unnecessary since it is only another layer of self-preoccupation and self-experience added to the already existent selfishness that exists within/as the human mind that only caters for its own benefit individually, disregarding the collective and ecosystem that enables life to be possible on Earth.

When and as I see myself judging humanity/ a single human being’s actions as evil, nasty, spiteful, shameful or any other adjective that points out a degradation of life, I stop and I breathe. I realize that reducing myself in one single moment to assess/ participate in such judgmental activity becomes another link in the chain of self-abuse, because I am only generating yet another emotional experience that only feeds the same mind that is the very starting point of this whole problem in our reality in the first place, since who we are as the mind is the one that thrives upon friction and conflict to generate enough energy to feed itself from the actual physicality that we are here – thus within this realization and as a point of self correction in the moment: I direct myself to breathe through the surge of energy as contempt, disdain, shame and anger and follow through to apply Self-Forgiveness out loud in order to bring myself back to the physical reality wherein I can focus on supporting myself to do/ say that which will support me to Live and others to also realize the same instead of projecting and compounding yet another form of rivalry and antagonism toward others in this world.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that every time I participate in any form of anger toward ‘humanity’ as a mass, as a group in its totality and identify ‘humanity’ as irresponsible is indicating only where I am currently standing as myself, and reacting to that which I would have also participated myself, even if it’s through actually rejoicing at watching another’s series of unfortunate events which already raises attention to see to what extent we have come to be lax about what we deem as entertaining just because of the Experience that we get from it as an energetic kick out of watching another suffering – therefore

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rejoice in watching another’s suffering which is quite a common point in our humanity, wherein because of the fear that we get from hypothetically placing ourselves in the shoes of the person, we would create the opposite experience as a positive experience through vicariously enjoying watching another going through events that are deliberately evil as a problematic situations in our so-called lives and call that entertaining, without realizing that in all of this Self-Experience we are only focusing on ourselves and our personal ‘good’ experience –  but in no way are we actually considering what is it that we are in fact laughing/ rejoicing about and become Aware of what we accept and allow to be commonly experienced as entertaining/ fulfilling without having a clue WHY we rejoice at such evil and generate a positive out of a negative.

 

When and as I see myself generating any form of either positive or negative experience through judging others, I stop and I breathe within the realization that it is within the participation of myself as my mind that I will only contribute to the already existent/portrayed point of experience as ‘common’ and ‘acceptable’ within us human beings, without realizing it is within such participation that we neglect and forget about being equal living beings but only opt for rejoicing in an experience at a mind level of either a positive or a negative that is equally abusive to who we are as physical beings – and to understand this and why please, educate yourself with the Quantum Mind Self Awareness interviews, so one can make an informed decision of why we require to stop all participation in our minds of thoughts/ emotions/ feelings as positive or negative energetic reactions and to start learning how to honor each other as physical beings.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the disgust projected toward ‘humanity’ that I have participated in before and that emerged after watching a group of people deciding upon another being’s life to go through the worst-case scenarios, is in fact my own self-interest and selfish self-experience wherein I am placing myself as ‘above’ those that are making the decisions, as if I was absolutely innocent within such outflow and being completely responsible toward myself , my own mind and my physical reality which I am not yet – thus I see, realize and understand that I can only generate any form of contempt, disdain and disgust toward ‘humanity’ as a single concept in my mind that I have used to abdicate my own responsibility toward myself, toward within my mind and what such participation contributes with as ‘who I am’ within this world.

 

Thus I commit myself to walk absolutely diligently to establish myself as a physical living being that stops in all ways and forms contributing to the same cycles of abuse through judgment, creating emotional experiences upon such judgment and in the end doing nothing to establish solutions but remain as a single victim that adds up to the rest of the victims that believe one have no ‘power’ to change things, without realizing that we have never in fact have any form of ‘power’ upon ourselves in reality until now that we are realizing we can become self-directive beings that deliberately decide to support/ be and become the solution to establish Life in Equality.

I realize that we have never in fact have any form of actual power or control over this reality and that who we are as living beings require physical self-correction to stop participating in the mind assessing one’s performance as either evil or good – step out of any form of positive or negative energetic experience upon assessing our reality, and instead focus on physical solutions that don’t require any form of judgment, contempt, desire to retaliate others or simply ‘wipe them out,’ as that is obviously foolishly again contributing to the same patterns of separation/ abuse and neglect toward one another.

(Listen to Why it is Important to Investigate the Negative – Part 135 for further education and understanding of what we are in fact facing when we deal with the Evil in this world)

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to reduce physical beings to ‘evil characters’ in my mind in order to then create within myself an experience of/as an ‘offended character’ without realizing how in this single participation of any form of backchat or speaking to myself about how ‘fucked we are’ as humanity is only contributing to further characterization and in fact maiming our ability to stand up because within that I am accepting and allowing ourselves to be ‘fucked’ as in powerless, having no ability to self-direct ourselves and essentially within that, accept and allow myself to diminish myself to a single self-defeatism experience that is only existent in my mind – thus

 

When and as I see myself judging people for being ‘evil’ and ‘mean’ and ‘irresponsible’ in my mind, I stop and I breathe. I direct myself to Not participate in these thoughts in any way whatsoever but instead learn about how we function as humanity and see the practical ways in which I can ensure I stop the perpetual cycles of self-abuse such as opposing/ judging or ‘being ashamed’ of being a human being and instead focus on walking the solution to humanity as myself: stopping our minds of desires, wants and needs that lead us to such evil in the first place and become the example of how it is possible to simply look at humanity and have an empty mind, take the facts and propose solutions.

 

I forgive myself that I have ever accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as judgment toward others and reacting emotionally upon another’s actions and projecting blame upon ‘them,’ instead of first taking the point back to self to see where I am in fact reacting because of me being doing the same or simply creating an emotional experience about this spitefulness toward life that I then co-create by participating in my mind of emotions and feelings. I realize that this physical reality is being physically disregarded, exploited and abused and my emotional experience toward it won’t change a thing – I rather absolutely stop, forgive myself for any reaction and continue breathing in my self-stability to be able to direct myself to create solutions, become the solution myself by stopping following my own wants, desires, needs that may in any harm one’s and another’s life.

 

When and as I see myself existing in self judgment and within any emotional experience toward others in my reality, I stop and I breathe within the realization that whatever experience, thought I create toward others in no way contributes to an actual living-solution. Thus I direct myself to instead understand the point that I am judging, see ‘who I am’ toward it, how I am participating in it and in self-awareness direct myself to establish a solution for that which I am judging, which begins by me stopping judging it/ becoming emotional about it and then focus on physical directions/ solutions that can be implemented in order to prevent such ‘evil situation’ from happening in the first place.

 

I realize that we are abusing in the name of satisfying one’s ego and entertainment in this case, wherein the worst-case scenario decisions are being made in order to have a ‘good time’ as a form of entertainment. The same happens when we exert our anger upon others as a form of vindicating our position as victims in this world which becomes nothing else but another grain added to the sack of the plethora of beings that would rather fight against the system/ oppose the government/ retaliate against corporations/ religious institutions and any other association in separation of life that are in no way envisioning a collective agreement to support each other as equals and within that, correcting the root of evil that we have all become and participated within without any form of physical awareness of who we are in fact fighting against.

 

If Karma Existed – as a Real Law of Consequence and Man had to Pay for What has been Allowed on Earth: there would be No End to Suffering for All on Earth, Virtually for Eternity Now. Many Hope to Escape the Consequence, by Finding all kinds of Saviors. How can anyone Save you from yourself – If you are not Willing to do it for yourself? If you are not Willing to Change you, Why must someone else Change you? Because that is your Greatest Fear, that you Claim that anyone else that try and change you, is Brainwashing you… it is Such a Conundrum, the Perfect Trap.”Bernard Poolman+

 

 

When and I see myself wanting to blame and project a single experience of disdain toward human beings for the acts they are perpetrating as any form of abuse toward life  – I stop and I breathe – I realize that such abuse is happening all the time in our reality and that my experience contributes to such abuse. Thus I stop, I breathe, I become aware of the abuse, I trace the point to see how such abuse is created in order to ensure that such root-cause of the abuse is self-corrected within me at all times.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I can only generate an experience upon that which I have participated/ been/ become myself  – thus any form of externalization of judgment is only a key point that I can direct myself to immediately take it back to self, investigate where and how I have become that which I am judging in others and take self responsibility for it. Such as ever rejoicing in watching another’s pain and suffering which we can condemn as ‘evil,’ however we are all inflicting such pain and suffering by the single acceptance of Money as a system to obtain that which we require to live, and such money is not readily available to all human beings equally, that is the real reverse of life that we are All blindly accepting and allowing in this world-system.

 

I realize that if I was aware of the abuse that we are All Collectively directly inflicting upon each other, upon each animal, insect, plant, life particle in this reality, I would have been consumed by my own anger, shame and remorse about it. Thus existing in guilt, shame, remorse, anger and sadness about what we are Doing upon this world is actually self interest – and within that, wanting to ‘wipe out humanity’ is simply in fact just opting to ‘get a quick fix’ to not have to face the consequences we have all co-created in/as this world we’re living in. This is our Doomsday, this is what we participate in on a daily basis beginning with ourselves in our own minds – thus

 

I commit myself to stop participating within my own Mood-change as my self-doom by creating emotional experiences upon the abuse, evil and neglect upon life and walk my physical process to actually become Life / Live as the reverse of all that evil that I can simply then become aware of, establish the root-cause of such evil, plan a solution that I can live and implement as what’s best for all and as such, promote solutions, promote and become the way that we can practically correct the patterns that have we tend to simply judge or become overwhelmed by in self interest as a personal experience.

 

I realize that my responsibility toward this world cannot be possibly corrected or ‘washed away’ with any form of immediate self destruction, as that would be similar to simply ascending/dying as in leaving our consequence behind as this physical world/ the Earth that is holding all our evil deeds as proof of how we can neglect each other and life with such an ease that should be a focus of attention to start creating a sense of self-responsibility and self-worth as life as equals, because as long as I expect consequence to ‘hit others’ and place myself out of the equation, I am still existing in such self interest as in seeing myself as ‘superior’ to those that I believe are the ‘evil ones,’ without realizing that we’re All in this together and we have Always been together in this co-creative process in existence, therefore there is no way out of facing ourselves, no matter what.

 

I commit myself to live the realization how within any form of desire/want and need to only satisfy my self experience as either in a positive or negative experience about another’s thoughts/words/deeds, I am equally contributing to perpetuating this system of abuse, as the system is founded upon satisfying our wants/ needs and desires through making them available through a monetary system that is already set to only benefit some – within this it is to realize how delusional it is that we have all collectively agreed to only benefit ‘some’ and disregard the majority using reasoning, logic, beliefs and ‘laws’ even to protect such elitist granting of ‘living rights and guarantees’ that have become the reflection of how our own minds function: care for yourself and nevermind the rest –

 

Therefore I take the point of self responsibility toward myself, my own mind and become  a physical living example of how it is possible to become a contribution to Life/ Living and sharing myself, my process within this with others so that more can become aware of another way of living as equals, wherein we can in fact then establish an actual self-awareness to see what we are rejoicing with, to become aware of how it is through our desire/want and need to have certain positive experiences that we overlook the abuse that lies beneath it. And this is existent virtually everywhere since this world and reality has become the epitome of evil and everything that is the reverse of life.

 

Thus, I commit myself to continue living a process of physical integrity as life wherein my thoughts/words/deeds speak and express that which I realize we are, that which I realize has to be done and implemented in this world in order to no more support and cater for the abuse toward fellow living species/beings and become life myself, as that is the actual living-example that can propitiate and place in motion the necessary changes that are urgent in this world, such as establishing the Equal Money System that will certainly enable people to be relieved from having to exist in an endless payroll and survival mode, competing to ‘make a living,’ and instead, have enough time to support themselves, to learn about how our mind works, how to support oneself to become a living-self aware being that is self-responsible through the tools of self-support that are the only ones that will enable us to realize our responsibility within this reality, which are writing, Self-Forgiveness, Self Corrective Application, Breathing and sharing because acting alone is futile in this Journey to Life wherein the outcome will always affect the whole.

 

More to come…

 

Further Self Support:

 

“I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that with parent-child, teacher-classroom, Money-humanity relationships being based on Elitism of/as “the One / Chosen One”, has become platforms within humanity that propagate Competition for Survival – put Man against Man, Man against the Physical/Earth, as all compete for/as their Survival, their Elitism, their “specialness, uniqueness, importance” energy experiences, that we would within such relationships – not consider: a solution to this physical existence where we ensure that each parent is equipped to have children, that each child is ensured a life from birth to death, that all children are ensured an equal and one education, that each human being co-exist within a World System that contribute to life on earth. But, we’ve conditioned/submitted ourselves, our Minds to the systems of this world, in ‘how life has always been’ – instead of standing up, and changing, and taking responsibility for ourselves, for those that have gone before us, with what ‘life on earth’ has become.” – Sunette Spies *

 

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Blogs:

 

Interviews that support oneself to understand how to walk our process within the perspective of consequence and informed decisions:

 

Vlog:

2012 Doomsday Character: Sick of Humanity? – YouTube
2012: Overwhelmed with Tears by Media – YouTube

95. Any Abuse is Always Self-Abuse

Continuing from 94. In-Sin–Irate: Anger Issues 

Self Forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to act upon abuse in a way that I am abusing myself as my physical body by reacting emotionally with what I have defined as ‘anger’ toward a scenario of animal abuse, without realizing that in such experience I am in no way changing the actual reality that is generating and causing such abuse in the first place.

When and as I see myself reacting with anger followed by a sense of petrification when witnessing animal abuse in my reality, I stop and I breathe – I realize that in order to be able to assist and support myself to stand in the face of the consequences we have created and manifested in our world, the reactions must be non-existent as they are only an indication of me placing myself as a reaction that in no way proposes a solution to stop the problem in itself. Thus I direct myself to instead continue breathing through it, as I realize that if I were to be able to witness the entire reality of what exists here in every single moment, I would be dead by petrification and anger.

 

I realize that it is about acknowledging and witnessing what we have become in order to become aware of the consequences that we have manifested for ourselves and imposed onto life/ animals/ the environment itself based on how the current monetary system is existing as, wherein dog fights are used as an ‘illegal way to gamble’ wherein greed, animal abuse and twisted entertainment are conflated into a profitable business just like any other business that is based upon abuse.

 

I realize that the reaction comes whenever I see in real life the actual consequences of the abuse we have imposed as humanity upon animals, life and ourselves becoming slaves to our own enslaving system, which makes it clear that it is not about the point of abuse only to a particular set of beings, but an entire chained-existence of actions, words and deeds that are existing in separation of who we are as one and equal. Hence everything that is currently existing, contains in an implicit manner the same form of abuse –the only point that changes is that we do Not see such abuse right away, we do not see the slave labor that is contained in the very computers we are using to write and communicate ourselves with, we do not see the family that earns slim to nothing for cultivating the coffee that I drink, I do not see the suffering of the animals whose skin was used to build the boots that I was walking on when approaching a ‘situation of abuse.’

 

Thus I see, realize and understand that we have been limited to only react to that which we can immediately associate with ‘abuse’ as an obvious image of a man hitting a dog – however, such abuse is implicit in virtually everything and everyone in this reality. Thus

To assist and support myself to clarify this point for me in and as every moment that I see myself reacting to an explicit image that depicts abuse, is to understand that everything and everyone is equally participating and equally responsible for what I am witnessing as ‘abuse,’ and that the only way to really stop the abuse that is here – whether I witness it or not – is through creating an entire reform within this system from its foundation, which is Money at this stage being the point of value over life in separation of life itself.

 

I realize that my reactions in no way can change the reality for such dogs, nor will it change ‘the mind’ of the beings hitting the dogs as they are most likely taking such point as a job that they are dependent on in order to live.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to want to judge the beings in my mind and see them as utterly ‘evil,’ without realizing that we are All equally evil just by having accepted and allowed ourselves to never question this reality and the ways that we have ‘built our civilization’ based on building, creating, selling, using, consuming what is here without any consideration toward what it is that we are in fact doing to ourselves, as we never had even considered that we were in fact equal and one to the animals that we abuse, equal and one to the environment that we suck dry in order to satisfy our needs and even ‘luxuries’ that are defined according to a point of ‘having more money/ more power’ to spend in points like ‘dog fight gambling’ as an illegal business that is existent due to all the factors mentioned above: separating ourselves from life as one and equal, getting an energetic experience of pleasure from seeing dogs fighting, from the very ability to ‘win’ within gambling and as such having everything wrapped with the nice experience of even making money out of the entire event, which is all created at a mind level – the same mind that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become without a question.

 

Thus I see and realize that the same point of abuse that I judged and blamed others for exerting upon dogs, is equally and one existing within and as me just by the mere fact that I have coexisted here in the same reality without ever daring to see what is behind everything that I ‘own’ and that I use on a daily basis in order to continue my ‘life,’ which within this understanding has never been a REAL equal and one self-supportive Life, but has been and existed as a condition of enslaved abuse wherein we have conned ourselves/ each other to lie, cheat, abuse in the name of survival – thus, I am not separated from the beings that hit dogs and abuse animals in the name of money, as I use the same money and the same products that use animal testing, the same money that is gambled in dog fights, the same money that pays for products derived from animals that are abused and treated as products only and any other living being – including the environment – that we use on a daily basis in order to ‘live.’

 

Therefore I commit myself to ensure that a new system is able to be in place in order to stop the chain massacre of events that we are equally responsible for just by the mere fact that we are equally existing HERE, ensuring thus that the new system is based from its very foundation on Life in Equality – and that Money no longer exists as a point of power that can only exist as abuse over life/ ourselves – but instead becomes a single tool to ensure that all beings are equally supported in this world, so that atrocities committed due-to and because of making profit/ making the most through abusing what is here is no longer possible, as there will be no need to create ‘wealth’ if all have the ability to have everything that is required to live in a dignified manner, wherein all GREED that is causing our world-system problem is treated as a disease at a mind level that each individual will take responsibility for.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize in the moment of experiencing anger toward an event/ situation of abuse that I am only witnessing but a snippet of what goes on in this world on a daily basis, as everything that we currently use, consume and make money from is linked to the same system of abuse that we have all complied to by the mere fact of accepting money as a means to live – instead of making life something that is equally recognized as who we are and as such, start considering how to implement the best ways to use, transform and consume what we require to live in the most adequate and studied ways to ensure the least harm toward life/ animals/ the environment is considered within all aspects of our human-civilization living.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to even try and exert anger and experience anger toward the event of abuse, without realizing that in such moment I am Only considering ‘my experience/ my own reaction’ to the event, wherein I am in no way supporting the beings to step out of such character as ‘the abuser’ nor am I creating an entire systematic change to ensure that dog fights are no longer existing as a clandestine business – therefore,

 

When and as I see myself wanting to conjure a plethora of reactions and offenses in my mind toward ‘those’ that I perceive as perpetrators of abuse, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am only reacting to what I am witnessing in that moment with my physical eyes, yet in no way looking at the entire context of how such point of abuse is equally existent everywhere else in the world wherein an exorbitant amount of abuse is being imposed onto virtually everything and everyone in this reality. Therefore I see, realize and understand that me in that moment wanting to cure and shout at another is plain mind possession that in no way would have changed the scenario for the people or the dogs in the event.

 

I realize that I am ‘them’ as well and that everything that I reacted to was a mirror of myself that I was not willing to recognize exists here as myself and as such, I see the reaction as my own point to work with in order to be able to stand in the face of abuse, to stop all reactions as self-interest within only looking at ‘my experience toward abuse,’ and instead become the point that works in reality to take responsibility for the current system we have created, which will be primarily working first with myself to stop all minor reactions toward abuse – and as such, prepare myself in every moment that I am able to breathe through such scenario to be able to then make actual decisions that will be directed to change the reality that is currently based on money only – and establish Life as the one and only real value on Earth.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to deliberately ‘make others see’ the point of abuse, which is no different to want to convert someone to ‘seeing reality the same way I see it,’ which is futile and of not practical solution as I am in such action only recriminating on another what I have defined as ‘blatant abuse,’ however in no way am I actually assisting and supporting the beings to realize what they’re doing within the entire context of how the money system exists, our relationship to animals, to this entire world and each other as equals. Thus

When and as I see myself wanting to ‘show’ to others the point of abuse that they are exerting over other life forms and themselves, I stop and I breathe – I realize that in no way my recrimination and judgment toward them will make a difference to those/ that which is abused in the moment, as I am in no way actually walking with the person to reveal the point of abuse and share the practical ways to stop and correct themselves, which is something that cannot be imposed onto another, but can only emerge as a decision self makes in order to be part of the solution and stop the problem.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to direct myself to speak toward other human beings without realizing that in no way my starting point for doing that is here as and in self honesty, because I am only in fact reacting to the entire event wherein I am in no way for example, the reactions and aftermath of what they could have done from me asking questions to them, which is then a point to realize how

 

When and as I see myself reacting within this surge as a desire to speak/ call out the abuse that others are imposing onto animals/ any other life form or themselves is stemming from actual fear and denial of what I am witnessing, with no consideration of how to assist and support the beings to realize what they are doing or participating in, as I am merely interjecting myself into a situation that I came to face ‘by casualty.’

 

Thus when and as I see myself with this desire to speak to others based on reacting to the point/ event/ moment/ situation , I stop and I breathe – I realize that everything that I have done thus far in my reality is by a pattern of ‘seeing the abuse outside of myself’ but never even daring to see how I am abusing myself and my very physical body because of and just by the fact that I had accepted and allowed myself to become the mind that reacts to abuse, but had in no way considered the practical ways and means to stop such abuse overall.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from ‘the abusers’ and believing that they have ‘no heart’ and that they are ‘evil in nature,’ without realizing that everything that we are just by the fact that we have become the very epitome of separation from and of life itself makes us all the reverse of Live as Evil, wherein some of us have made ourselves as the entire denial of such evil existing within ourselves – which then points out to see how it is dishonest to react to one single point of abuse and call it out on others, without daring to see it within ourselves first, without daring to realize that our very current survival is dependent on a system that is based and founded upon abuse – hence, no one is innocent, no one can possibly ‘wash their hands’ from being the very person that hits a dog that is trained to fight against other dogs in clandestine businesses such as gambling, as it is all formulated and schemed in a human mind that I also exist as.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react and/ or desire to react in equal violence as thoughts directly linked to harming others the same way that I am witnessing others harming other beings, which makes me equally participant in that moment of the same abuse I was witnessing, as I accepted and allowed myself to deliberately want to harm and kick them, which is an aspect that is existing ‘here’ as myself and no different to exerting it out on dogs – therefore I see and realize to what extent I have made myself the ‘innocent’ and ‘righteous one’ that can ‘call out the abuse on others,’ without realizing the entire reaction that comes before ‘calling the abuse on others’ is me wanting to attack and harm them in an equal way as that which I am witnessing in the moment.

 

When and as I see myself feeling ‘righteous’ to call out on the abuse of others, I stop and I breathe – I realize that calling out the abuse and wanting to deliberately ‘do to them as they have done onto others,’ is taking a point of equally abusive vindication that I have in no way the right to exert onto another as I am in this only participating in the same cycle of abuse. Thus I stop believing that ‘I have the right to become angry’ by participating in a deliberately crafted momentary surge of anger and imaginary projections of violence and abuse toward beings in a way to ‘make justice’ to a point that is in itself stemming from an absolutely unjust system that has never ever considered life, that has never ever been based upon living Life in Equality and Oneness – thus, I am equally responsible for everything that is here and as such stopping the reactions toward it is the first and primary point to establish here as myself, in order to be able to practically face the consequences and reality we have become and in that, instead of reacting: work with myself and others in order to establish Solutions for this problem in a tangible and physical manner wherein such abuse will never again have to exist because of money.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having deliberately wanted to ‘create anger’ within and as me, as that familiar state of energetically charged reaction of paralysis wherein ‘I want to make justice to the situation,’ taking the self-righteous point of me being ‘innocent’ and ‘right’ about it, without even taking a moment to consider how within this I am wanting to deliberately use my physical body to play out anger as a way to force myself to point out/ call out the abuse on others, which is unacceptable.

 

When and as I see myself wanting to become angry in the self-righteous position of ‘the benevolent being’ wanting to ‘call out’ on the abuse that I see others perpetrating onto something/ someone, I stop and I breathe, I realize that in such point I am becoming the ‘savior’ character toward other life forms that cannot defend themselves- however in such moment I am only becoming part of the fighting and retaliation system that in no way supports to create a solution, but only adds up to the entire conflagration of emotions and reactions that do have consequences on a physical level for all participants involved.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to movies portraying a clandestine business of dog fighting shot in the city I live in and merely take it as ‘fantasy’ and something that was not in any way a ‘reality’ of ‘my reality’ which shows to what extent ‘my reality’ has become only that which I am able to see, witness and experience first hand on my day to day basis, which is the very core of the problem in this world because we have not dared to recognize, see and understand that no matter if we live in a castle where ‘nothing ever bad happens,’ everything and everyone that is here is equally responsible for any and all forms of abuse that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become by the single acceptance of living as a mind over matter/ over the physical / over life itself.

 

Therefore, I see and realize that just because I don’t see it – the abuse – it doesn’t mean it’s not there/ it doesn’t exist – as I see and I realize that in this very denial that we simply cover up with further abuse we have neglected the reality that is here as ourselves, as all forms and ways of abuse that we base our current ‘life’ upon, which is no life, is abusing life to get by, continuing existing just as consuming beings that have no regard to realize that what is being consumed, used and exerted ‘power’ upon is ourselves, and that All Abuse is Always Self Abuse.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make myself ‘brave’ in that moment of approaching the beings that I am wanting to judge and curse at in a situation of abuse, without realizing that I cannot measure the consequences of this entire event and as such, I realize that I could also be harmed and cause further problems from me wanting to ‘exert my right to call out the abuse’ in a situation wherein within the current conditions of this physical reality, I did expose myself quite a lot, as I in no way had an idea of how the males could have reacted toward me.

 

When and as I see myself wanting to directly speak toward someone that I see is perpetrating any form of abuse onto themselves/ another – I stop and I breathe – I realize that in this besides wanting to ‘save another’ I am in fact placing myself in an unpredictable situation wherein I have no idea of what thoughts can drive another to do and react as – thus I ensure that I do not participate in such points unless the being is explicitly requesting to be supported s that would indicate that ‘then’ we do have an opportunity to create a solution – yet wanting to just ‘call out on abuse’ on others in that moment is actually a risky situation that I cannot measure its consequences to the T as to ensure that I would not end up being harmed as well.

 

Therefore, when and as I see myself witnessing a situation of abuse, I stop and I breathe – I realize that my participation in such point would make no difference to stop the situation and that I would only expose myself unnecessarily. I instead assist and support myself to see the context of the abuse to ensure that we do take into consideration everything that is currently linked to any form of abuse in this world system, which is nothing else but our own mind that must be walked through a process of self correction to ensure that everything we do, say and think is based upon Life in Equality at all times.

 

Thus I stop existing only as a self-righteous caller of abuse and instead, focus on becoming a self-responsible being for myself, my own reactions, my own reality wherein I no longer only ‘react to abuse,’ but I instead become aware of the situation, study the points behind such abuse – what caused it, who, how is it allowed and accepted and how it can practically be stopped – which is most likely always linked to money and the relationship we have created toward money in our minds

 

I realize that ‘my anger’ is just ego – wanting to feel ‘bad’ for a point of actual abuse which is unacceptable – thus I stop from wallowing into my own reactions and instead ground myself to breathe through facing and realizing the consequences of what we have accepted and allowed ourselves to become – and instead, walk the process of self-correction to ensure that I no longer am part of the chain that unfolds these crimes against life, against ourselves = I stop the inner battle of anger existing within and as me.

 

We’re all responsible and responsibility comes for all participants here as we can no longer just expect some god-president to do it for us, we cannot expect someone to come up with a ‘bright plan’ to just implement ways to ‘save the planet’ and ‘save the animals’ or implement peace in a world where war is waged against ourselves in our very minds every single day that we accept and allow ourselves to exist as our mind.

Until Here and No Further.

 

Support and investigate the Equal Money System wherein we are practically looking at the points that require to be realigned and directed in a way wherein all beings are equally supported to live, making of abuse only a mind-related condition that will be prevented with proper education and supported through a process of Self-Honesty that can be walked through the understanding and application of Self-Forgiveness, Self-Honesty and Self Corrective Application

 

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Journey to Life blogs: a day to day living education shared by people like you and me.

 

Ahora veo 2008 (Now I See)

 

Interviews that supported me extensively to come to these realizations and give myself proper direction to write Self-Forgiveness are:

 

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This is a continuation to:


Day 57: Fogbound

There are times when we get to know/ understand what’s really going on in the world that it is almost impossible not to be ‘enveloped by a fog’ as if it all seemed too difficult to ever get to solve – and because we cannot see anything clearly, we standstill, we don’t move which is obviously the point to correct here. What I mean here is that I have become used to seeing ‘the whole picture’ – repeat PICTURE – in order to then have this ‘certain outcome’ which would be not living and directing myself as a Self-Willed being, but rather wanting to only attain/ obtain and experience myself in that picture, while missing the actual process to get there, which is the relevant point within this process, understanding Why we are doing this Self-Equality and Oneness Process as Existence: we have never ever lived as Equals, we have only existed as separation and for that, it was about ‘time’ that we got to see the manifested consequences of our inherent separation and now be willing to correct the fuckup from its primordial times. This won’t be an ‘easy-fix’ either, we are walking it the proper way and for that, we are all walking our individual processes where nothing will be initially perfect, because we have never ever directed ourselves to change the very nature of who we are as human beings. I also see that If I had existed 100 years ago and someone would have shown me in Virtual Reality what the world looks like now, I would have also thought that it was ‘impossible’ to get to such point of both the technological advancements/ general ‘picture’ presentation and the obvious consequence of it which is the absolutely horrid scenario of depletion, pollution, poverty and starvation.

 

Fogbound is such a clear word to define what I  experience when watching documentaries that reveal the state of absolute abuse toward the Earth, the Animal Kingdom, the general state of the world, like watching that trilogy of Koyaanisqatsi and not being overwhelmed by everything we’ve done as human beings. These are all mind-experiences and one thing that I learned  yesterday while hearing about Anu and the ‘Failure’ point is that it is definitely comprehensible to give ourselves some air to realize that we have never ever done this before, we have been so secluded in our little bubble wherein there has been no proper equal and one standing  our own mind, to our physical, to this world, to anything or anymore – literally just being mind organic robots and it is really grounding for any speckle of ego to accept this.

 

There are times when we feel ‘stuck’ – again an emotional experience – and that’s because we have been so used to always getting immediate results, having tasks done and completed in a way that we have made this world work as a drive-thru machine that contemplates profit and not life – getting a positive experience out of ‘accomplishing something’ that would make us more ‘worthy/ increase our trading-value’ within a system where all life has been made an asset. We have never slowed down, not in a world where ever decimal fraction of a second is counted to make profit in a production line. We have existed like that Ford T Line Production wherein everyone just focuses on ‘getting their task done’ and earning money for it and call it a job/ working, sometimes never knowing how that assembly process fits within the entire construction of the whole product = absolute alienation that extended beyond the work-job experience, but also within society wherein you earn money – you spend-  you eat- you ‘entertain’ yourself – you create a family – you work until you die – then you die. And repeat the same the next life: nothing else but batteries within this system.

 

What we are doing now is absolutely the opposite of anything capitalism: we are slowing down, we are learning how to care for each other as equals, we are not doing it for any form of ‘profit’ but to create sustainable environments that will sustain/ support many more people willing to support themselves/other as equals – which is like your ‘pay it forward’ movie – we are learning to dissociate from everything that would keep us occupied in our minds: useless thoughts, feelings, emotions, beliefs, opinions that do not stand in the best interest of all life here in/as the physical reality; we are learning how to create relationships/ agreements that are Self-Supportive in the individuality required to stop all forms of co-dependency, instead of following through with the same repetitive short-lived experiences that begin with/ by desires, hopes and dreams that run dry very quickly once the sex is gotten and the money is gone. We are learning to educate ourselves not only in one single ‘field’/specialization of this reality, we are becoming holistic learners of this reality, with the REAL sense of what holistic means because we are getting education that no one has ever received in this world and that is now possible through all the material at eqafe, the Desteni I Process and every single blog, article, interview, post that you may find in all the various places Desteni and Equal Money System are located in the web. To place it shortly: we are learning how to live as Equality of Life for the very first time.

 

If anyone reading this asks themselves: oh but what have we done before then? We have only demoneyzed reality through seeing everything as Money, seeing all that is of the Earth not as unconditional resources that we can use to Live, but as products that we can put price tags on and make them ‘our own’ to sell them to others and make a ‘good business’ out of it. We have only seen convenient relationships to make us ‘feel good’ about ourselves and use that as a way to match it with the elusive desires to ‘make it’ as in being ‘successful’ in a world fabricated and staged to make Every-one seek the same thing, as that is what ‘activates the economy.’

 

 

We had not been living, we had just been killing time and I’ve just ripped of Thom Yorke for that, but it’s true. And before I continue wallowing in such depressive lyrics that would set the tonality for my days – every single day –in the past,  I realize that I can take everything that we have been as an example of what Not to promote in this world, what not to continue perpetuating as ‘culture’ I mean, it is quite obvious now how everything has been intertwined and specifically designed to keep us very busy with our mechanical jobs,  mechanical prayers, mechanical interactions to get our quick fix just like drugs – mechanical family-makings, mechanical pre-fab aspirations and ‘dreams’ – mechanical gatherings where the same mind-bullshit is regurgitated, everyone pursuing the exact same ‘dream’ lol – and mechanical views upon life wherein positivity would mostly shape and mold the feeble minds of ours,because it would create a ‘good will’ feeling wherein we would be willing to do anything to get the necessary money to ‘make our dreams come true.’ And so we turned and turned and turned the wheel until we started realizing that the more we spun it, the more the whales cried because we are depleting the Earth’s resources in the name of such mechanical lifestyle.

 

Sometimes I see that it will be virtually impossible to do this in a lifetime – this is where the ‘fogbound’ point comes in, as it is just ‘too much’ or ‘how the hell are we going to do this? where to begin with?– yet this can only exist if ‘I’ me-myself as the woman here typing is wanting to get to live the results ‘herself’ instead of Hereself. Within this, what I have realized is that I definitely want to be part of the people that are willing to do anything that is required to begin with the transformation that this world requires. I want children to come into this world and Know that there is a group of beings that are working to create the necessary transformations in this world to a Best for All Living-Principled society/ environment.

 

This is how we cannot ‘blame’ our parents or anyone – we have all done it in this mindset of energizer-bunnies that only sought to keep going on and on and on without ever pondering: well, what the hell am I doing this for? what are the consequences of me ‘living’ this way? And anyone that dared to express this and really ponder about it – because there have been several people in the world that genuinely tried to ‘make a difference’ in this world – were eventually subsumed within the entire survival-system or simply exterminated by it, because it was just impossible for one single being to do such changes all alone. This is how it is important to unite as many people as we can, because we realize that it will take a massive amount of people standing within the principle of What’s Best for All in order to work together and really establish what’s been elusively called as ‘Heaven on Earth’ – which I tend to resist saying because I simply don’t know what that would be like. All I get in my mind is this open plain space where the grass is green and there’s a nice breeze of air flowing lol with preferably some clouds and everyone just enjoying themselves –that’s it.

 

So, what I’ve realized is that we cannot be as apprehensive as we have been toward ourselves which has been based within a system wherein any ‘fuckup’ costs money, wherein any failure means you are ‘worthless’ or ‘ruined for life’ – wherein any sense of ‘demotivation’ means you are ready to be replaced by fresh bait/ cannon fodder – depending on the use of work-force in our current system – wherein taking some time off to evaluate yourself, your life and ‘who you are’ means potential realizations coming through, hence ‘providing’ you with all forms of enticing entertainment to make sure you remain stuck desiring sex, money and all the power in the world.

 

What we are learning to do is to not have any sense of ‘loss’ upon mistakes, not judging ourselves when we fuck up, not project our judgments upon others when others do fall and stumble on their own mistakes, because we learn from each other that way as well.  We are learning not to ‘Save the World’ but to be the change it requires, and that implies that it won’t be solved just with a thousand smiles and an 8 digit check for the cause – No. We are learning that our fuckups, mistakes reveal which points we have always missed within this reality, creating the current outcome of a society divided by its own negligence toward each other as Equals. These ‘Fogbound’  moments are here to get to know what is it that is causing such experience, what am I still defining myself according to, what is it that I am expecting to live of myself without realizing that I have Never ever lived before? The trick is to keep breathing, definitely and not to remain ‘still’ for far too long – but to re-assess our application and continue walking. Idleness has been quite a fuckup in my past wherein I get to that ‘giving up’ point in such stagnation and then shift my attention to ‘something else’ that looks like it would require ‘less effort.’ No man, we don’t have plan B’s here. We make it or we die.

 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to obfuscate myself with my own thoughts about ‘all that will be required to be done in order to change the world’ wherein I see the ‘bigger picture’ and it just seems ‘too much’ without realizing that this is me only ‘thinking’ about change, but not Being the change that is required, which is not separated from myself as breath here, walking the necessary actions – step by step – to stop such enslaving system within me first, to educate myself, to learn from my own mistakes and failures in order to see what will work for all as equals, what must be corrected in order to ensure that we walk this process once and we do it right.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take ‘failures’ as something personal, wherein I see and realize that I have been conditioned to believe that me not being ‘right’ all the time within this process is a way to reveal to myself how I had only learned how to ‘live’ within a system of values and worth in  separation of who we are as life, wherein any fuckup/ failure/ mistake is punished and means a general ‘devaluing’ process wherein the person is then stigmatized and seen as ‘not worthy’/ not ‘good enough’ without seeing that this is only within the same value-schemes that we have lived as capitalist-minds that never considered the physicality of ourselves, of who we are as life – hence, I stop diminishing myself and opting-myself-out any moment that I fail, that I fall, that I make a mistake and within this stopping all thoughts associated with ‘giving up’ and seeing everything as ‘impossible’ or ‘too much’ because: this is only a mind-generated mechanism wherein it is simpler to just ‘go with the flow’ of the current world which is a statement of not really being willing to do this for ourselves As ourselves as the potential living-beings that we all are.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to impose the same judgments upon myself, the world and others that have stemmed from the past as all the limitations we have imposed onto ourselves due to our very own thinking-processes with which we have devalued ourselves in a way that is not at all originating from Life itself, but only our self-deprecating minds that are used to giving up any moment that a single obstacle is existent in our reality.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a failure, which is only in accordance to the necessary step for me to see that everything that we had only ‘maintained’ was a system of abuse, limitation, fears, judgments, opinions and beliefs upon life, but never Life itself. Therefore, the realization that every attempt to ‘live’ that is not in accordance to what is best for all coming to an obvious failure is necessary in order to establish our starting-line as the starting-point of self creation within the necessary principle that had never been considered/ contemplated in reality which is Equality as Life.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as apathy when seeing things as pointless, useless or without any definitive ‘result’ that I have been used to obtaining to declare that something ‘works/ doesn’t work’ in a short period of time, I realize that patience is required for me to understand that it will take as much time I spent on creating myself to correct and re-create myself and this world within a clear starting point of what’s best for all. Therefore I see, realize and understand that apathy is just another way to loop-around the ‘known me’ that preferred the comfort of ‘not giving a fuck’/ not doing anything to challenge the belief of ‘who I am’ which is what must be stopped within me as it is only consisting of thoughts, emotions and memories that are Not who I am here.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having ever feared ‘making mistakes’ and ‘fucking it all up’ based on that meaning that I would no longer be valuable/ worthy, ‘trust worthy’ for anyone, without realizing that I had not even developed my own self-trust as life itself, but only as knowledge and information that I acquired to define myself as a ‘confident’ and ‘secure’ person, while in fact none of us have ever actually lived self-trust as life, which is living as breath, physically here and realizing and understanding that any sense of ‘security’ comes as the current status of ourselves being well fed, having a place to live and having comfort and even luxuries that have made our life this comfortable pillow to lay upon while the rest of our existence as this world is obviously not having the same as we do at the moment. Hence the importance of developing this actual CARE as in seeing what we Are/ have become and understanding that ‘them’ is ourselves’ and if we don’t do this for ourselves first, we won’t  do it for anything/ anyone else. Because we had been training ourselves to only see for our own survival and look after our own ownerships and benefits and satisfactions that were based upon the same system that must be debunked in order to re-establish the real values based upon Life itself, which is currently Non-existent and must be Self-Created as the Self-Willed realization that there won’t be any ‘profit’ made form it, other than actual solid and stable foundations to support each other as Equals, which will be in the end the ultimate ever-lasting reward-system that will not be based upon Abuse, but Equality as Life.

 

“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to no realize that judgment is the Experience of the Past confirming that Life is Not Here, as the Experience of Energy Resulted in actions and Consequence of Energy Self-Interest that Crossed the Line of Dividing Life into Past, Present  and Future – turning Life into the Fiction of Experience of Energy that is Desire, Perpetuating the Desires till Death as Crucifixion. Thus, unless one Die Alive and End the Addiction to the Experience of Energy as the False Image of Self, Death Ends the Experience as the Opportunity to Be Life is No More. Thus, consider Rebirth as the End of Energy and Not the Purification of Energy as All experience as Energy is Always just the Past Repeating itself – and unless the Past is Over, Life will not Be Born from the Physical as What is the Same Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow.” Bernard Poolman *

 

I commit myself to stop within my mind this experience of being ‘fogbound’ wherein everything seems hazy and not clear enough for me to ‘know’ where to direct myself, which is a knowledge point and not a self-movement realization wherein we understand that there is no ‘ready-made picture’ that I can look at and walk this process to ‘get there,’ but actually see/ realize and understand that we are actually walking this process as we live day by day wherein knowledge and information as pictures or ideals to obtain do not exist, but only a principle is certain: Equality as Life.

 

I commit myself to not give into this ‘standstill’ moments wherein I believe that I have the ‘right’ to not do anything for a moment, without realizing that this is another form of ‘freechoice’ and ‘freewill’ that is embedded within the individualism that we have propagated as a ‘way of living’ in this world, which keeps us bound to the same separation that is generating the current world system we’re living. Therefore, I realize, see and understand that I must keep in mind that this is an existential process wherein I stand as a self-willed part/ particle as part of the equation that requires us all to be a part of in order to establish what’s best for all life.

 

I commit myself to see and realize that only wallowing in my mistakes, failure and self-deprecation is essentially self-interest as I am only considering ‘Me’ in this experience that is, obviously, self-created while in fact saying a big ‘fuck you’ to everything/ everyone else because: if I am not willing to do this as myself within the realization that doing it for me in Equality as What’s Best for All = doing it for All in Equality, I won’t be willing to ever live, as simple as that and I would only confirm that the mind wins, that I am incapable of changing myself and remain stuck in my own bubble until it dries and I die.

 

I commit myself to support myself with writing, self-forgiveness, self corrective application to re-settle myself within the understanding of what is it that I am doing this for, and not create a point of separation from that ‘outcome’ and ‘purpose’ outside of myself, but realize it As myself in every moment – hence understanding that me giving-up-on-myself is essentially me confirming that I am a mind-system that cannot possibly get out of the traps of the mind specifically set and designed to maintain ourselves in these individual-egotistical stances that have never cared or even considered Life in Equality as who we really are.

 

When and as I see myself standing-still within this fog that I create as this experience within and as my mind when seeing the reality that we have become and the extent of changes and corrections required in this world, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am projecting this as a ‘wholeness’ that seems like ‘too much’ and it is IS if I only considered ‘myself’ as my own limited mind to assess our abilities and capabilities, because I see and realize that who we are as the mind is a limitation in itself and won’t be able to ‘grasp’ our ability to function in Equality because the mind in itself is programmed, designed in order to only function as an individual – therefore I realize that being ‘fogbound’ is the same as getting into a ‘cannot compute’ experience that I can transcend within taking a deep breath, bringing myself here to stop the overwhelming thoughts and re-mind myself that I am learning how to live for the very first time as a physical time-space living being that won’t get any quick-fixes and immediate results, but that is walking this process as I walk and live day by day until it is done.

 

We cannot intellectualize this process, it is walked as we breathe.

 

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Important Interviews to understand this point further:


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