638. A Redefined Spirituality

 

 The following is inspired by the writings of a life  colleague –  as I am now deciding to define him – who shared a lengthy letter to me as a response to something that I wrote him in an intent to assist in seeing the blueprint of the points that I consider were veiling him from seeing through the steps to get back into an ownership of his self creation and self awareness,  which he has walked in his very own set of paths of ways – but interestingly enough, we have found each other having the same intent and purpose in our lives which we will be joining in an common project where we can share more of our personal experiences and processes with many more that might find themselves in the same kind of ‘holes’ in our creative processes that we have both acknowledged having been limited by in our creative paths of inner and outer creations.  

To give some context to this self forgiveness, this is a reflection of what I see of myself in his words and speaks to anyone that can identify themselves with being ‘a seeker’ or someone that seeks meaning to one’s own existence, to one’s own creation in many ways and paths and if not getting to live their potential, it becomes a source of emotional and detrimental experiences such as falling generally ‘ill’ in the form of lacking direction and purpose, being stagnant in expression, losing sight of the ‘bigger picture’ in life, being veiled by emotions such as dread, depression, sadness, despair and in a way blaming everyone else that doesn’t seem to care for life and the world as oneself as the source for our own apathy and frustration, not realizing we are ‘it’ ourselves too in living out that character of disempowerment and helplessness and victimization.

 To sum up, it reminded me a lot of the path that I’ve also walked and that it’s still part of me and I have not forgotten it, I just have in a way stepped out of the cocoon and see things quite differently now, but it is as if I am embarking myself in this new project and walking with him in this project in this phase of my life because our will was mightier than the limitations that we many times fell into, and I’m genuinely glad and happy to see him slowly but surely realizing these things and taking on his creative path again, which I recognize that I have to do myself in my own self imposed limitations as well, and it’s great to have someone to walk such path with, someone that understands the seemingly ‘similar’ kind of patterns that some of us ‘creative’ people go through, but many often give up half way and get lost in the midst of ‘the fog’ and don’t persevere enough to see through the illusions to remain ‘with the finger in line’ as he says, living one’s expression and will, despite the nature of everything and everyone around us as it currently exists, but being courageous enough to understand things at a deeper level and hold that little flame alive within us no matter what, and let each other know ‘hey I am here, I understand, I walk with, let’s work together’ which is quite priceless and unique to find seemingly ‘out of nowhere’ and here is to say as well that coincidences don’t exist, only what we determine ourselves to be and do which eventually takes us to where we need to be to fulfill that which we set ourselves to live.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep quiet and wait for someone else to make the decisions of what I should be and do and within that, diminishing bit by bit my determination to express and take responsibility for the decisions that I make and what I live in my life, which I realize diminished my ability to live me and bit by bit dried the flow of the abundant river that I have always been aware exists as me, as the life that I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect myself into experiences of despair and arguing for my limitations in neglect cultivating my own confidence and stance that has always been here as myself, it just got clouded by the emotions that became the comfortable way to justify not living the potential of who I really am as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make of my mind my own obstacle that created shame, anger, despair, uncertainty and sadness which I realize is the way in which I now realize are the ingredients to create resistance,  which my mind creates in greed of energy and in allowing that, I stepped further and further away from actually getting to do what I know and have always been aware of is the truth of my being, what I can and need to direct myself to be, live and express.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a comfort zone in remaining skeptical and not want to intervene in my own life in order to not have to take responsibility for myself, not realizing that this seemingly ‘comfortable zone’ led me to sink deeper in a hole where I alienated myself from my own wholeness, from my own power as the capacity to direct myself, to intervene in my own life, to decide to change if something wasn’t working anymore, to innovate in the way that I can decide to live me and within that acknowledging the work, dedication, consistency and will that it will require to create and live myself as the best that I can be. That’s what self-creation is all about.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be-lie-ve the statement ‘nothing really matters’ as a way to avoid myself in taking action in all the things that I knew I had to take action on in my life to be and become the better version of myself.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to have been in great thirst of knowledge and information in an attempt to find a way to change the way that I am and how I see and understand life, not realizing how I only inflated my mind with it, but I wasn’t really learning and applying how to really nurture my soul and being in the daily actions, words and habits that I realize I have to take action on in order to live the best of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately over complicate myself with theories, ideas, beliefs and philosophies which I realize may assist in our paths, but can also create new excuses where we miss out the common sense that always exists within ourselves, we just have to decide to let go of wanting to ‘seek out there’ and instead start getting to ‘what’s inside of me’ and write myself to see who I really am, what I really want to do, defining my purpose, defining my drive and take the first steps to do so in my reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I know many things but not really getting to understand the steps, the process it takes to interiorize, to integrate, to live the awareness of the things I realized in my life. I realize it takes actual change, work and effort to live the words that I get through realizations.

I forgive myself that I had not accepted and allowed myself to realize how ‘realizing’ and understanding something invariably leads to the next step which is to take action on it, to not only be infatuated in an enlightening idea or momentary experience, but to embrace and direct that impetus to create the actual change in space and time and take the necessary steps to do so in order to honor the path that took me to get to realize, see and understand what I now see, realize and understand.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allow myself to define me and allow myself to be dictated by the construct and concept of time, by the illusion of having to remain ‘current’ according to that abstraction which time is – which we have created in means to control ourselves. I realize we create time, we decide how we live time in this reality, but I no longer allow myself to be dictated by it and what I should feel or experience according to the idea I have around it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to isolate myself in a bottle of complexities where I believed no one else cared, no one would understand or listen and in that, miss out the many opportunities to connect , share and get to know others, because of becoming my own living judgment of seeing everything as ‘lost and pointless’ and not seeing that in doing so, I wasn’t getting anywhere else but became more detached from myself, from my own reality and from getting to understand ‘the other’ as myself too.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become lazy and apathetic to continue discovering the wonders of who we are and can be and become, and instead to become sad at the apathy I saw in others, not realizing that in doing so, I became equal to what I was only seeing in them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become the epitome of hope in despair, where I gave myself up in the wait for something or someone else to show me the way, to tell me what to do and not take responsibility to be my own director, my own guide, my own master that is self-created – not following, not taught, but simply learning from others’ experiences and making them my own by testing them out to see if they work or not.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the idea of lack as an excuse and as a determining factor of my being where I placed myself into a survival mode  that turned me into a selfish and ruthless being, becoming fearful, anxious and angry at myself for knowing that this ‘lack’ is entirely self created and that no one else is doing this to myself, but me.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not give me the gift of Understanding another, because I realize that I can’t hate another if I understand how we all have created this in separation of who we really are as life. I now realize that Understanding is one of the most profound and liberating gifts we can give to ourselves.

I forgive myself as everyone else in our weaknesses and fractured beingness because as big as the weaknesses and fractures are, these cannot override the virtues that we actually are and can develop as the new nature of our being. This is self-creation, it is not born from perfection, but from the decision to overcome the complexities, the falls, the mistakes, the wrongdoings, the self-neglect.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to neglect the dedication it requires to get to understand how we function in our minds and our being, because that in itself reveals our truth and as such, it becomes the most useful thing to do and dedicate our lives to cultivate.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not continue cultivating my own understanding to direct and create my own healing process and within that, cultivate my own self-awareness,  to no longer be defined and limited by survival in this world as a justification to not live the wholeness of myself in  my day to day and in every moment of breath.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to redefine spirituality as a sincere and grounded way to define and create my own being, to create the habits and methods to continue developing my self-awareness in every moment of my existence, to be in contact with my being, my body and to create an awareness of the effect that my thoughts, words and deeds create in my reality. I realize I can do this without the need of crystalized dogmas and instead can be lived by a simple and consistent dedication in developing these supportive habits of being in contact with myself and taking full ownership of my capacity to define, reinvent, innovate and reconstruct myself, because no one else can do this for me, but myself.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to live determination and do the hard work that it takes to live this process of creating my own life and self awareness, because I realize it requires courage and determination and I believed myself to be devoid of these. Now I realize we all have what is needed, that we all can live these words and that’s the living faith in which I decide to live in, to be the driving force of my capacity, will and determination to do that which I know and realize are the building blocks to the creation of who I really want to be as the expression of the wholeness that I go creating and expressing in my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having been ashamed in being the one that is not following the same path as everyone else, but instead decided  to swim against the flow, going into the opposite direction while everyone seemed to not care or see where they are being led to.  Now I realize, see and understand that this very will, determination and decision to keep going ‘against all odds’ got me to where I am today, where I now open my eyes to see that there is no shame at all in living my own truth even if no one seemed to care or understand, because it’s not about others but about my own decision to live me, to express that care, that love which is sufficient to live the truth of who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up many times in the many creative ways that I pursued at some point in my life, not realizing that I can work things, that I can implement changes and innovate in my life to keep that living flame alive even if it only seems to lighten up my own face. I realize that this is what living me and expressing me means, to do it because of myself and for nothing and no one else other than the expression of the potential that is unleashed when one decides to live unconditionally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret the perceived’ wasted time’ when I neglected the essentially creative capacity that I am and that I have. I now realize that such ‘wasted time’ was part of the process and the many roads that have led me to be and become who I am here, that I can start where I am – in every moment, in every new breath – and to realize that in any moment, I can only be the one that drives me or becomes my own worst-enemy and limitation to do this as an expression of myself.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that frustration is a symptom of the incomprehension of my own self movement, and that stagnation is no more than the nature of all sickness that manifests when I don’t allow myself to flow and be the water that flows, that reclaims its natural will to express, to flow, to be, to adapt, to move and embody the realization that its movement never ceases, because I’m not defined by a measure of time – I embrace the creation of the potential that I decide to live and cultivate as the everlasting self that always remains here, just like the water in the world.

I forgive myself for living out my weaknesses and for allowing them to affect others in their own lives. I now decide to work on the changes, the habits, the actions that will turn them into actual strengths.

I realize that I can only get through in my life if I place my own faith back on myself as the recognition of my capacity to change my reality and the outcome of my life through the work that I can dedicate myself to do every day in order to honor the wholeness of my being, to no longer be trapped in the experience of lack and all its unfulfilled concepts that I had allowed myself to believe and be enslaved by.

I now take ownership of my own discipline and self-creation moved by the love that I realize I can express in my work and the enjoyment that I imprint on it and on myself in doing so.  I commit myself to become the author and creator of all of this that celebrates the manifestation of what and who I realize I really am at a fundamental and existential level as life itself.

I understand and realize that time is only a measure of earthly oxidation, however even if I deteriorate, it does not define my stance and who I am as I keep my finger at it, becoming and living the drive that has got me to where I am here today, because no matter what: I remain current.

I decide to trust myself in my decisions, my actions, the paths that I decide to walk, embrace the ups and downs it may entail because I decide to trust myself in being able to learn from it and expand my expression through that, because I realize that that’s what living life is all about.

 

 

 

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395. What is Real Empowerment?

 

The Fallacious Archetype of Power

 

The word ‘power’ in Spanish is ‘poder’ which means simply ‘can’ / ‘being able to’ and as such it is interesting how we have elevated the word ‘power’ to something beyond ourselves, something that we almost see sitting up high on a throne far away from our reach, we see it as some blinding almighty light that only gods and masters can obtain, and politicians, CEO’s, and elites of this world can control with money. This is how I would see the word ‘power’ before, filled with something ‘extraordinary’ that apparently none of us regular ‘mortals’ have – this is the cognitive dissonance, the fallacy existent within the word at a collective level which is precisely the construct of hierarchy that exists within each one of us.

 

By ‘the construct of hierarchy’ I mean the ability to layer ourselves as human beings in various strata of the super rich and the ‘empowered’ at the top, and then going all the way down to the lower strata: lower middle class to people living in abject poverty.

The sheer acceptance of poverty and the ‘megarich as something ‘normal’ or part of ‘how the world works’ already reveals something: we have created an idea of what ‘power’ implies as the amount of money one can have, which creates the abusive logic of: IF you are not a super rich elite person THEN you are ‘disempowered’ as the ‘power’ is held in the hands of those few ones at the top and only ‘they’ can rule and control and tell us what to do and how to do things…. This is the general belief wherein we become subject to ‘others’ and in this the first point of abuse is precisely not being able to recognize ourselves as equals.

 

 

 

Now, this is just to place into context the first fallacy: Power means to have LOTS of money, being in a ‘higher position’ where you can control others and abuse something/someone to continue aggrandizing your personal power. So, this is certainly not the definition of power, but the definition of Abuse masked as ‘power’ and ‘success’ and some kind of ‘divine power’ that is ingrained in our minds from thousands of years ago, mind control it is. 

 

This idea of ‘power’ in the form of abuse must be realized for the consequences it has created the moment that we All have given more importance to money itself – which turns into possessions, enslaving others to do the work for you, to be able to control people for personal gain, to deceive, to lie and cheat, to bribe –  in order to advance personal plans for power. So, we’ve also then lived the ‘wrong meaning’ of what success means and as such you can start figuring out how many of the words we had all at some point desired to achieve, were in fact meanings of words that are not entirely supportive for everyone, but instead only glorify our personal interest without considering what is best for everyone else at the same time.

 

What I’ve realized that has happened within ourselves is that because taking control/direction of one’s life involves doing the actual work, the investigation, the discipline to lay out plans and test out ways to genuinely empower oneself and make things work within a supportive context, we all have (un)consciously decided to take the ‘easy route’ wherein a handful of individuals that were noticeably cunning in ways to get the most for themselves by using tricks, deception and lies that ‘sell well’ have been able to make their fortunes based on OUR complacency, our ignorance, our irresponsibility, gullibility and law of the least effort which is precisely the point of disempowerment we have grown into ourselves like the actual cancer that takes us into the mentality of ‘oh well we are never going to be powerful enough like ‘the elite’ to change things, so let’s just keep having a good time’ And in this, we are only accepting the manufactured consent to remain in our own little cages, living in con-fine-ments of houses/rooms where we simply believe that ‘it’s the life I had to live’ / ‘God wanted me to learn these lessons’ / ‘this is how life is/ I simply have to make things work and let things flow’ when in fact all of these are nothing else but excuses and justifications to not stand up for ourselves.

What we haven’t realized is that ‘The Power’ / Our Power in itself is always HERE in and as each one of us in our ability to decide to precisely no longer ‘follow the leader’ but rather questioning the leader, questioning the governments, questioning the entire hierarchical structure we live in, questioning the benefits we have endowed to some within a belief structure called politics, religion, class systems, races, we have to ponder our abilities and restrictions and so within doing that coming to the realization that we’ve bought a great lie wherein we believed all along that ‘we are disempowered’ and so within this,actually disenfranchising ourselves from our living rights –  but we aren’t really, we have just been – let me be frank – too lazy, too apathetic, too idle to take responsibility for making things work and be beneficial not only for ourselves but for everyone else too.

 

Disempowerment toward Politics/Politicians

A point in my life I’ve felt disempowerment is when witnessing abuse and this is how this word then came up. Within this what I have created is the belief that the point of abuse is ‘so out there, out of my reach’ that ‘I can’t do anything about it’ but this is also an excuse and justification, a fallacy in fact because in this we believe that that which I am witnessing as a point of abuse is ‘outside of myself’ and if we are human beings, we all have a mind, a body and so we can all rather begin realizing that IF another human being was able to commit such abuse THEN I as another human being can investigate, understand such abuse, trace the origin point, source it, understand it and rather learn how it was originated so that I can focus on preventing the situations and accumulation of behaviors, circumstances internally and externally that propitiate a situation of abuse.

A classic point of disempowerment I lived throughout my life was when witnessing and/or getting information about the corruption in politics – hence my ‘loathing politics’ experience – and so believing that those people ‘in power’ were simply doing what they willed themselves to because ‘they could’ because they were in the position to do so, and so this ‘position’ point became the limitation: their money, their knowledge, their relationships, their names, their families, etc. So in this all that I learned to create is anger, aversion and a general desire to ‘have nothing to do with politics’ or with money, or with getting a good position in the system, because ‘I hated it’ but in fact this is what makes us All disempowered, when we already see ourselves wanting to deny that which we see or believe to be ‘too high’ / ‘too far away from my reach to change’.

Furthermore I realized how I created such aversion/hatred toward politics because I realized that instead of political platforms existing to regulate our lives and support everyone as equals, the opposite is what drives politics at the moment. And so, this experience of ‘hatred’ as my emotional reaction for not getting the expected support from politicians and politics in general to support our societies, so that is why it is My responsibility to stop my own experience of hatred that leads to the belief of me being disempowered in my ability to change things, to change the world-system and my reality – little did I know or was aware of how it is that in this moment I actually swallowed the belief that ‘I can’t do anything if I am not in that position of power’ which is the first way in which we go ‘tagging’ ourselves, defining each other as either powerful or disempowered individuals in society, all by the amount of money, of influence, of powerful family relationships,  of studies, of properties etc. all of it consolidating the same fallacious definition of power as an actual abuse upon the rest that do not have equal access to what the ‘empowered’ has.

So,  what I’ve done since then after many years of contempt and aversion and antagonizing and even mocking politicians, I came to focus on my responsibility to change myself first, which means going from this belief of disempowerment to an actual self-empowerment which is nothing else but taking responsibility for myself, for the education that I half-way received about how the world actually functions and getting to see a fuller picture, to understand who really ‘runs the world’ – or what really runs the world as the money-construct – and how the actual way to implement change is through politics. From there I walked an entire process of clearing up the word politics for myself so that I no longer bring up this mental image of men in suits sitting on a chamber of congress making decisions behind closed doors while eating caviar and sipping champagne, abusing women and children and joking about the poor that have fun with bread and circus. So, this means that I started rather investigating what are the actual forces that drive our reality, who are our government, how have ‘they’ been also created as part of an enclosed system of rich and poor,  what is it that we have missed in our reality that we have abdicated our entire organization to a handful that only look after their own benefit, all of this means: where is My responsibility to the world system in fact.

And so upon discovering and understanding some of the greatest lies in our entire history like how money is created and the purpose of our education, what our foods contain, the type of devaluation of dignity that entertainment represents, the warfare industry, the general commodification of life then became a solid starting point for me to realize that I am not really ‘disempowered’ because I can investigate and certainly I can then through understanding the problem also propose solutions, which didn’t come as easy either, because I had to then walk through my very own definitions of ‘value’ and money as as the current representation of the relationship of abuse toward one another, and the rest of the constructs that we have all collectively agreed upon as a ‘default’ point from birth.

So, no one said it is going to be ‘easy’ to actually conduct the changes required due to the time, the effort, the money that is required for it and the group of people that will only make it happen through unity as the real form of empowerment one by one – though the first point is recognizing that ‘I can’ and this is no hopeful-positive thinking political slogan situation just like ‘yes we can’ that have been used to get presidential candidates into office. No. this is about genuinely becoming aware of how we can investigate, understand the problem and so walk it through to a solution beginning with ourselves, which means stopping the patterns of apathy, aversion, hatred, judgment and more so Blame toward ‘those that I believe are in power’

 

So what is real power then?

Power is the ability to recognize that ‘I can’, that ‘I am able,’  that I can direct myself and become an individual that no longer is mentally driven by seeking the kind of abuse (false archetype of power we just discussed) as a form of personal gain called ‘success,’ but instead that I can change myself to become an individual that can demonstrate that the ‘order’ in this world is flawed and that it must be changed – but how can ‘it’ all be changed if we keep living in a bubble called the personal belief of being ‘disempowered’?

In this case, proposing self-education to understand our individual responsibility to our lives and how within doing that we will come to realize that the current system is unsustainable and so, we can also join in with our new awareness to  propose solutions that can change the way we currently live in. So here we are then crossing the line from the ‘disempowered’ member of society that sees ‘no way out’ to the individual that sees that the way out is precisely through recognizing that I Can/ I am Able to understand the problem and so within understanding also conduct changes within ourselves first – and this is very, very important because most of the ‘activism’ that takes place is entirely conducted or ‘aiming’ at ‘changing others’ which is entirely futile really. Isn’t it such a common phrase to say: “be the change that you want to see in the world”? Well, this means apply, live the principles to be and become such change, instead of understanding such phrase as in ‘being the one that demands change’ or some other way to deviate from the point of responsibility.

We can and are able to recognize our power, our ability to change things, which is not really something ‘outside of ourselves’ but recognizing our ability to act according to what we see is and would be best for everyone, which also is what we can also define as taking self-responsibility leading to actual self-empowerment. This is a process where we go recognizing that as we take matters into our own hands, we then go dropping all the fallacies, the deception, the belief systems that we had held ourselves imprisoned by. And it is more than necessary today to begin letting go of this idea and Experience of ‘feeling disempowered’ and instead, rather flag-it and see it as the excuse this word ‘disempowerment’ is and represents to not take responsibility, to not recognize that I CAN Stop and Prevent such point of Abuse within myself by recognizing my equal-capability of understanding the problem/ the point of abuse and directing it toward a solution.

 

If we don’t do this, then who will?

 

We have gotten ourselves to this point because we just were too complacent – too lazy – to actually take our lives into our own hands, but instead we delegated our power, our ‘I can’ for myself in the hands of a few that obviously have abused it tremendously as it had to be, otherwise if they had been benevolent beings that ‘took care of it all,’ then maybe we would have never really even considered how it is ourselves that should take responsibility for ourselves first and foremost and so one by one waking up to this realization, we will live in an actual self-governance, a self-direction, I direct me as my mind and my body to do/conduct and direct myself to prevent/stop this point of abuse and so correct the ways, behaviors, patterns toward a best for all outcome.

This is a process of self creation and self-empowerment is then the ability to recognize that I can, I am able to, and more so recognizing this not as a fleeting moment of positivity, but an actual continued, constant and diligent process of redefining our words such as ‘power’ and live the ‘I can’ and ‘I am able to’ direct myself in reality, seeing where we still believe ‘we can’t’ and so pushing ourselves to really test it out – can’t we really? do we fear something? Is there a reality point, a potential consequence that I could create if I do this? Of course within the current boundaries of what this physical reality implies when it comes to laws of physics and the rest of the system we have to stick to at the moment – all done in a supportive, peaceful, non-aggressive manner – always considering what is best for all which implies: no harm, no abuse.

 

Change isn’t a magical overnight thing, it is a rather long continued process of self-movement to stop and prevent the same patterns of abuse that are manifested consequences of thousands of years! So it is about first becoming such living principle of what it means to live words that are self-supportive and so see how as we share and live with each other, we can go creating agreements that we can physically in real time test out work  to live in a way that is beneficial for all – and so by doing this and living this realization in ‘real time’ then, we actually go empowering ourselves and each other to realize: we actually have the power to change, and that Is empowering.

 

So, it’s time to empower ourselves and each other recognizing that We Can and so lay out the plan on how one is going to live such ability/power every single day to change oneself and live in self-responsibility which then becomes a form of freedom too from the accepted and allowed mind-control belief of ‘we are too little to change’ –Time to grow up!

 

Please read:

Day 409: How to Change this Bloody, Bloody World

Suggested interview:

From Self Victimization to Self Empowerment – 2013 – The Future of Consciousness – Part 38

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144. Obsessive and Possessive Patterns: My belongings

I had a dream wherein I was going to the farm with someone and realized that we had arrived without baggage. I saw how the other person seemed to not care at all about it, however I saw myself manipulating the moment by becoming anxious, desperate, talking in an acute voice tonality and moving around in a fast pace from side to side in an attempt to actually make others to ‘get the point’ and take us back to the airport to get our luggage.  It seemed that I was really possessed with the entire point of ‘getting my bag,’ feeling like ‘unprotected’ without it, and I questioned how it was that the other person was not really caring much about having no bag with himself.

And in that dream I can recognize a pattern of myself, which is how I tend to not Live in the moment whenever there’s something that is absolutely occupying my entire attention: I ‘forget’ about breathing and with that, everything else in the environment. In the dream I forgot to enjoy the arrival to the place and actually enjoying being there again – Instead, I was moving around, rushing and finding any and all ways to get back to the airport to get my stuff, literally being possessed to get a cab, find someone to get us/ me back to the airport. So, here some points walked in Self Forgiveness wherein I decided to hold and create the backchat and obsession of ‘wanting to get all my stuff right fucking now,’ projecting blame to other beings and as such, even missing out the actual cool moment to see everyone again as I was too busy throwing a fit about our bags not being with us, while deliberately hiding the fact that I had ‘forgotten’ about the baggage because of also getting caught in the entire point of meeting another person, which is also the subtle moments wherein I also tend to ‘lose sight of the moment’ and go into an absolute possession of ‘being meeting someone’ and creating an entire  experience about it in my mind, eventually forgetting about things/ losing things due to my attention being diverted to another one single point – quite a pattern. It was also interesting how the other person’s ‘unattached’ stance toward ‘belongings/ ownerships’ was in my face and making a point with it, yet I would react to it with further backchat instead of actually taking a moment to breathe and actually let go of the possession/ learn from his reaction to support myself that way.

 

So, within this blog I’ll walk the first dimension of the dreams as obsession wherein I was absolutely moving based on my self-interest, which seems like it’s  been the only way we have ever always ‘moved’ ourselves as humanity.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become ‘possessed’ by the stuff that I have defined as ‘my belongings’ wherein I simply became absolutely focused on ‘getting my stuff back no matter what,’ missing out each and every single moment of  breath, being spending my time with another/others for the very first time and ‘enjoying’ the entire moment, just because of wanting to ‘have all my shit together’ before settling down.

When and as I see myself being absolutely possessed by ‘my belongings’ the moment that for one reason or another I am not able to have it all together, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I cannot ‘change’ the events by becoming anxious and desperate to go back to get them – instead I simply direct myself to explain the point to someone else so that we can eventually get ourselves to ‘get our stuff back,’ instead of making such fuss and a big deal out of ‘not having my stuff,’ worrying and throwing a tantrum, fearing ending up without anything, which indicates the actual pattern wherein I see I can ‘lose myself’ from being here as breath: when missing out my belongings and ‘losing everything I have,’ which is actually related to how money is our security/ safety bubble, which is a point I opened up a couple of days ago.

I commit myself to actually realize the unnecessary distress and worry that I create in my mind as thoughts when wanting to ‘get what I want’ right away which is stemming from an actual fear of losing it all as well as my ‘happiness point’ wherein I got used to ‘having all I want’ right away, without realizing that who I am is here and that all I can lose is stuff that I have become possessed by as my belongings and turning them into my ‘point of stability’ in separation of myself here as breath –thus I realize that they are not ‘attached’ to my body and that I cannot define myself and my moment according to having them or not having them. I realize that use I give to all I have, however, it is not ‘the end of the world’ if I see myself without them all.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within the thought of not having my bags with me, I immediately go into fear of loss as all the money invested on clothes and ‘personal belongings’ along with stuff that I had some type of ‘attachment’ toward, which indicates there is a point of possession that I am feeding as things = money that I can earn or lose in one go, within this not yet equalizing myself as everything that I have wherein I realize the current means and ways that one can get money being not ‘readily available,’ however, becoming possessed by ‘our belongings’ is definitely a mind-defined relationship instead of an actual realization of self-equality and oneness.

When and as I see myself reacting to seeing the thought of ‘my bag with all my belongings’ as a point of potential loss, I stop and I breathe – I realize that this attachment I have programmed through the value I have separated myself from and as money, which implies that there is no actual ‘loss’ as the who I really am in this reality, and that the loss is only a point of losing that which I had ‘made my own’ through the same means in which we have kid each other as apparent ‘owners’ of something – and even someone as well at times – that we can in fact ‘lose’ –

I realize I cannot lose myself as I am already here – and that all points of separation as ‘value’ upon a piece of what’s here that I had made/named ‘my belongings’ must be reviewed in order to realize in common sense this is how we currently exist as with regards to ‘things’ outside of ourselves, yet this in no way can define who I really am as the physical being that uses what’s here to live.

I commit myself to let go of the specific attachments I have created throughout time toward ‘that which is mine,’ and instead equalize myself to it, so that I do not hold this ‘strong definition’ based on what I see and believe is ‘important’ to me as belongings –this is an actual point to walk due to how I had defined the ‘who I am’ based on the stuff that I see and have a constant relationship with on a daily basis in my reality – being it clothes, computer, stuff in my room, artwork, ‘things’ that I have defined as ‘indispensable’ in my mind – yet never really seeing what is really indispensable and what is only keeping a certain dimension of self-possession in my mind.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to the other being’s parsimony and nonchalant attitude toward the realization that ‘we had missed our bags/ left them at the airport,’ in which I saw the image of the being just laying on bed almost not ‘caring at all,’ while I was with my nerves all spiked up wanting to go to the airport ‘as fast as possible’ to get our stuff back – within this judging the being’s attitude as careless, lazy, complacent and passive, just because of the being showing little to no interest to be concerned the same what that I was with regards to ‘my belongings.’

When and as I see myself judging another being as ‘too passive’ and ‘nonchalant’ to deal with situations that I have defined as ‘emergencies’ wherein immediate action is required – I stop and I breathe – I realize that I have to actually slow down to see how reacting to another’s attitude of patience and parsimony is a way for me to complain about them not supporting my mind fuck.

I realize that I had in fact been judgmental and at the same time jealous of beings’ attitude toward loss, wherein I believe that they would have to be ‘going up in flames’ as well, but instead seeing them act and taking it all ‘without a care’, which is what I have taken as a crutch for me to react even more toward them and blaming them for ‘not giving a fuck/ not caring about the whole thing ‘the same way I do,’ and in this, actually taking a self-righteous position of me being the ‘good person’ because of caring ‘too much’ about the event, which is absolute self-manipulation to make myself ‘the winner/ the caring one’ within this entire event,  in this

I commit myself to actually stop always aiming to be the one with the ‘right judgment’ at all times, wanting to impose my view as ‘that which is right,’ which is the way that I still want to hold on to my mind in a self-righteous mode, instead I support myself to learn from others in fact, to see how it is possible to exist without an actual attachment toward ‘things’ in my reality and still manage to live.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that a person that ‘truly cares’ shows emotions of worry and preoccupation, rushing and ‘moving around in a fast pace’ as if such attitudes were in fact necessary when giving direction to a point that requires immediate to short term solutions. I realize that I have only created such belief in my mind based on parental patterns of rushing, preoccupying/ worrying about things and creating attachment toward things ‘of my own,’ without realizing that I cannot own, I cannot have ‘control’ over my reality and that any point of fear of loss must be confronted/ faced as the actual point of possession it represents: fearing losing ‘my belongings’ as ‘my stuff’ as a way to justify me being pissed off, exalted and rushing to get things ‘back to me,’ wherein I am only caring about me-me-me, my time, my stuff and moving everything and everyone I can to get my stuff back as a synonym of getting ‘my comfort, peace and security back’ which is unacceptable, as it’s mind possession.

When and as I see myself wanting to become emotional in anger or anxiety and distress when things are ‘not going my way,’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that this is just a mind fit that in no way assists and support ourselves to get things done, it is only a mind-driven reaction that serves no one. Thus

I commit myself to stop manipulating myself through emotions of anxiousness despair, worry and concern whenever I want things to get done the way that I want it, how I want it, as fast as I want it and in the moment that I want it which is precisely what I have lived as in my reality: subtly moving people around in a way wherein I can get a benefit and/or support to ‘do what I want/ get what I want,’ which is then the point to expose toward myself and eradicate, as I see and realize that it is in this seemingly ‘petty reaction’ that a great ‘chunk’ of my personality resides: moving and directing things as fast as possible when and where there is an immediate point of self interest to cover, while creating a negative reaction and backchat toward those that are ‘in the same situation,’ yet do not approve/ support my reaction/mindfuck the way that ‘I’ expected them to do, in this

 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always seek for at least 1 other person to ‘backup’ my mindfuck, wherein I am still wanting to get things done ‘my way,’ even if I know that ‘my way’ is absolute self interest and actual obsession in that moment. It is unacceptable to want to get at least one other person to ‘agree’ with my mind possession as a way to validate it as real and ‘a good reason’ to get what I want. In this

When and as I see myself deciding to act as a point of mind-possession wherein I am moving the earth and mountains to get my point of desire/ want and need done, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am actually being possessed in this moment by the entire situation wherein I am not considering anything or anyone else BUT My point of happiness which is being obsessed with  become ‘getting it,’/ making it/ going somewhere and essentially, not stopping the mindfuck till it is satisfied/ done/ achieved– thus

I commit myself to stop supporting my own wants/ needs and desires that come up in a cyclic manner in my mind, and instead breathe and realize that if the point is in fact relevant to give direction to in common sense and placing self interest aside, I can direct myself to see the viable options –here as breath – to give direction to the point. However if it is only a point of ‘immediacy’ just because I say so, it’s absolutely unacceptable and as such must be stopped by myself immediately, as I see and realize that I am also involving others in ‘move’ that I have to also take into consideration at all times to make a decision that’s best for all. This way I ensure myself to not be immediately caught manipulating and controlling others to ‘get things done,’ but I instead take such points and walk them myself first in self honesty to ensure I am not possessed by my own interest to give direction to something/ someone

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consider my obsessive-compulsive behavior as a curse and a virtue wherein the curse arises when becoming dependent on a particular pattern, getting things done and a virtue as this ‘gets me moving,’ without realizing that both starting points are equally fucked as they are stemming from an actual fear – of loss/ lacking/ being unprotected in this case – instead of being actual points of self-movement in the moment within common sense.

When and as I see myself becoming compulsive with regards to depending on a particular habit of extreme lack/ need in an urgent manner to immediately move, I stop and I breathe – I realize that there’s no need to create a situation of ‘extreme lack’ and ‘rush’ to get things done, no matter how it has worked ‘in the past,’ who I am cannot be repeating the same ‘effective formulas’ of myself in the past – thus I ensure that I actually walk a point without having to take it o the very last consequences before losing all time to move, and in this actually create a habit of distributing enough time and consideration to check all points required when and while moving, directing, doing something in our reality.

I realize that the ‘obsessive point’ of not stopping doing something until it is done can be a ‘cool thing’ if the starting point is clearly self-supportive at all times and it doesn’t become a one point to procrastinate and eventually do ‘all at once’ in the least amount of time possible – I realize that I have created this pattern throughout time wherein I had even involved ‘luck’ as a factor to determine things always ‘turning out well’ at the end when taking on a project, task or a single point to ‘move’ and direct, as I see and realize that this is hope here acting and not actual self movement at all times.

I commit myself to slow myself down to breath when the mind is rushing wanting and trying/ attempting to get something done. Instead I walk at the breathing pace to establish solutions according to the actual need and practical requirements of the solution.

 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become thoughts as an experience wherein even in my dreams, and knowing beforehand that I can just breathe and exist ‘here,’ I allowed myself to be possessed by the worry and concern of ‘losing money’ through losing my bag, representing that attachment/ value that I have given to possessions that are in fact an imposition of property over that which is here from and of the Earth, transformed into ‘products’ that we buy and sell to ‘make a living’ within a delusional system wherein we created a big lie as monetary system in order to support the mind’s desire of power as an illusion that can only be ‘made real’ through imposing private property as ownership upon the Earth in the name of personal benefit and personal interest.

 

When and as I see myself getting concerned about ‘losing my belongings’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that ‘my belongings’ is but an imposition I have beLieved myself to be real in order to justify my point of control/ imposition over life for my own benefit. Thus, it is to see that it is the relationship created with money that which is to be reviewed the moment that we allow ourselves to be mind possessed/ obsessed with thoughts that indicate fear of loss while creating a point of need, desire and want to satisfy that ‘fear of loss’ – this indicates already the type of conflict that we create only in our minds while abusing the very physical reality that has allowed ourselves to ‘bear’ the mindfucks that we indulge in, the moment that we use the mind to create a point of worry, concern, going into obsession and thinking possession out of fearing losing something that was never ‘mine’ in the first place, which places into context how it is that I have accepted and allowed myself to be still regarding material possessions as ‘the point’ of possession even in the slightest /sly-test situations.

 

I commit myself to actually let go of the value, regard that I have imprinted onto ‘everything that I own’ as ‘my belongings’ to ensure that I in fact stop defining ‘who I am’ according to ‘what I own’ and as such, commit myself to review the attachments I have created toward my ‘material possessions’ as it is not even a matter of ‘how much money I have’ or how ‘expensive’ my belongings are, but the value and worth that I have given them in my mind as the ‘who I am’ being defined by such belongings.

 

This will continue…

 

Support yourself to get to see the ‘seemingly unnoticeable’ of how we live and act like on a daily basis, to finally ensure we are in fact able to stand as beings that live and do what’s best for  all at all times, no matter what – Desteni I Process 

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Equal Money System 

 

 

Blogs:

• Day 144: The Bible, the Ant and an Equal Money System

• 
  

  Walking with Thoughts – Part 2: DAY 144

 

Interviews:

• The Crucifixion of Jesus – Part 7:

  What is the relationship between the ‘Stairway to Heaven’ in Religion and ‘Climbing the Ladder of Success’ of Money?

• Reptilians – Exploiting the Power of Existence – Part 91

• Reptilians – The Power of Fear – Part 90