Tag Archives: End of the world

464.Changing My World View

Or how I stopped feeding a back door/way out or ‘quick fix’ belief in my reality

 

A continuation on:

454. Embracing Living Potentials

 

There’s something interesting that I’ve noticed not only in myself but through and walking with various individuals I also have the opportunity to assist and support, and that is how much of our own way of looking at thing in our reality, our lives changes as we go walking through our minds which means, understanding ourselves better, getting to know the nooks and crannies of ourselves in terms of how we think, why we experience ourselves in a certain manner in certain situations, what motivates us, what we have accepted and allowed ourselves to fear, to desire, to procrastinate, to hold on to in various ways… it can be endless to get to know us to the T in all aspects. However the more that I’ve gotten to do this and worked through with myself not only to understand me, but to also directly work on changing these aspects, what tends to change as well is the way that we see the world, see our lives and so the way that we experience ourselves in it all.

I can identify with many people I work with where our minds usually tended to look for the pessimistic, fatalist and all-destructive outcomes as a sort of a desired outcome for humanity, believing that it’s the way to do justice to the Earth and Life and all other sentient beings that are not humans. However as much as this could be an acceptable idea, I also had to acknowledge and recognize the fact that a part of me actually was giving up on myself and on everyone else’s potential to change, which translates the whole point of ‘wanting an Armageddon or ultimate self-destruction’ in wanting the ‘easy way out’ while believing this is only fair to Life, that it’s fair to the animals, that it’s fair to nature etc.

Well, once that I understood my own desire to ‘run away’ from reality and justifying it within these seemingly irrefutable facts above, I stopped advocating such ideas in my head and it wasn’t something easy to stop identifying myself with, because as long as I held to my reasons, justifications and blame toward all of us humans for creating the world system ‘as is’ and causing so much destruction and suffering towards what’s here, I was focusing only on the idea of doing what seems right or fair as a form of vendetta that life could take on us, and me accepting it in a form of apparent martyrdom, lol – but more and more I started realizing that I in fact liked to entertain those thoughts of imminent destructions because in reality, I wanted an easy way out of our responsibility that we all hold and have to what is here as our creation, which is this whole world as is.

How do I see that I’ve been slowly but surely changing this approach is based on how I interact with reality. A daily example is how I watch or read news everyday as I’ve shared before in blogs, and how I continually work on not allowing information ‘get a hold of me’ and so driving myself to feed again that self-destructive or ‘end of the world’ type of desire, which became even a sort of experience at an energetic level where a part of me would be really wishing everything to just go wrong and end ‘asap’.

Here what happens when not entertaining those ‘easy way out through destruction’ thoughts any longer and making peace with the realization that: we are not going anywhere, we are here to build the solutions from the ground up, bit by bit, no matter how ‘long’ or how ‘hard’ it may seem, there is like a point of ‘making peace’ with who I am, with what is here as our reality, with what we’ve become as human beings and so instead of continually being existing in friction and conflict towards ‘us’ as the creators of what is here, ‘building my case’ to kind of ‘prove to life’ that ‘we are not worthy as human beings, that we should be eradicated from the face of the earth ASAP’, I have been instead focusing more on seeing where I can start, where do we have to start as human beings to build sustainable solutions from the ground up, and this starts at a very individual level really, which is why I and many others are focusing on this level of self-awareness and so self-creation along with others to understand how is it that as we all go changing one by one, long lasting external changes will invariably also be created as a result of this individual self-change.

With this I am implying how my way of looking at things changed from destruction to creation. I am more grounded and realistic, more ‘here’ in the sense of embracing and accepting what is existent as ourselves, as this world – not to leave it ‘as is’ of course, but to simply stop continually fighting it in a silent yet continuous mode and I can definitely say that this continuous inner fight projected on the ‘outside’ leads nowhere other than procrastinating the real process of self-change that we can start by and with ourselves first. In short, I stopped ‘blaming’ and instead focused more on starting with changing this very aspect of ‘blaming’ and projecting my own experiences onto ‘the world out there’ – self responsibility first of all.

I find it somehow easier to see reality for what it is, to go stopping the judgments that I would usually entertain and feed within the idea of still building a case as to why we are just ‘lost’ and ‘without a remedy therefore we should just cease to exist’, seeing ourselves – human beings – as a cosmic joke, a mistake that should have never been and it is this kind of experiences of disgust, misanthropy in a way and a deep desire to just ‘end it all’ that would continually cloud my view of reality even in subtle yet ever present ways that would be creating this noise for me to not be able to see the potential in me and so in others in a full and crystal clear manner, because there were these constant back doors within me as seemingly ‘hidden desires’ for a ‘quick fix’ really, a way to just ‘end it all’ and not have to face the actual process of learning to recognize and take responsibility for our creation, to understand what is it that we’ve exactly accepted and allowed and so be willing to self forgive, let go of that past and do the work to actually change ourselves to something that we can live with and stand by for the rest of our existence.

Here it’s clear for me to see that one can have the greatest understanding of things and be agreeing with principles and ideas that represent a better outcome for all life, but I saw myself how as long as I held on to these ‘backdoors’ as ‘way outs’ that I still held as something that ‘makes sense’ that is ‘justifiable’ and is an ‘acceptable’ thing to exist within me, I would still eventually exert those beliefs as experiences and judgments that I would project onto ‘humanity’ out there. It’s interesting because I didn’t create a particular ‘personal fight’ against a particular faction of human beings, but all of them/us ‘en masse’ and so whenever doing that exercise where one can bring up the first word that comes to mind when holding in our minds an image of humanity, all that came up in me was an experience I can encompass as disdain, despair, disappointment, disgust, things that represented that part of myself that was not yet seeing the potential that each one of us hold within ourselves, which is of course yet to be developed.

So, upon walking those judgments that would turn into experiences that I would project towards ‘humanity’, I realized how I was only doing what most of us human beings do: blame, being lame in seeing others as ‘the problem’ for what we are experiencing, which as much as I could have reasons and validations for this experience with me based on the, yes, obvious destruction and enslavement we’ve imposed to all life, I had to also realize that there is really no point in blaming as that only keeps me locked into this fatalist experience, seeing no potentials in other beings – therefore within myself – and at the same time, it becomes a comfort zone to not actually change me, challenge me, my views because I believe that ‘I am right, I am making a point with those desires!’ – but that righteousness is precisely what easily blinds us from understanding where we are in fact still reacting, still blaming  – even in very subtle ways – like in the form of ‘doing justice’ or ‘doing what’s right’ yet still holding such experience within me that came from a starting point of giving up, of not wanting to do the actual work and dedication it will take to sort anything out in this world, starting with ourselves.

Therefore, I find it very relevant to check every time that I see myself getting again into that ‘despondent’ experience within me, where I start again building my ‘web’ or my case for seeing ‘no way out’ for us as human beings, which can be as easily as going into the streets and making a mind-decision to focus more on all the things that are wrong, that are consequential, that are creating problems, all the interactions between people that seem problematic and emotional, all the poverty, all the disregard for one another and go building my case as to why it is futile to stand up for any change because ‘look at humanity! It’s impossible!’ Really?

I’ll dare to say nope, it’s not – because I am living this change myself and I am walking it in a very real time process with people in my life that many others could have probably given up on long ago, which is still a process to walk but every day It assists me in seeing what is possible in real time change, only requiring a directive decision and awareness by each one of us to do so, and it’s quite marvelous and I can say for the first time this is not only me doing it in my own life, but also seeing it first hand in the lives of many that I also have the fortune to be walking with in this process and assisting directly as well in their personal Desteni I Process courses.

So whenever I get to feel ‘despondent’ towards the things out there in the world, whenever I get to feel that way in ‘rough times’ I can now use yesterday’s word and remind myself of Hope as an indication that my experience is letting me know there are new ways to explore to create solutions, there is a need to check within myself where is it that I am giving up and so how can I practically create ways through and solutions to the situation I am in or that I can contribute to in the lives of others.

I can therefore openly say that we are the hope for humanity, for real, because we are actively working individually and together in many parts around the world to start one by one creating and sticking to living this self-change that for many that have come and gone, seemed impossible. I definitely can understand all the reasons of why some decided to not follow through with it, I can understand every weakness that leads oneself to make such decisions because in one way or another, I’ve faced those myself in many ways including intense manners as well. But I am also glad to say that those were supportive challenges for me to continually re-affirm my vow to my life and the life in everything/us all – they have been parts of what I can call ‘the eye of the needle’ tests that I’m sure I’ll have to keep on walking through because this is only what is common sensical to do if we are to stand as individuals that can truly stand one and equal to life in all ways, I would not allow half-ways or dubious selves to be part of it.

This is then a realization and sharing of one of  my most tricky, yet ever present, obstacles that I have been able to ‘crackdown’ within myself in the past few months, and it’s quite a lol as well because it’s that which I had become or ‘lived’ within myself to such an extent that I was not even questioning such ‘nature’ in me as this character or set of patterns that saw ‘no way out’ but still found it important to stick to walking this process, while I was still holding on to a part of my easy-way-out ego that preferred to not see potential so as to not have to do the actual work to unearth it, ‘carve it out’, sculpt it and polish it so to speak, which means to actually develop and create something. In essence, diminishing myself in the belief that I could not ‘keep up with’ or be able to stick through the actual process to do this, but here I am going to challenge and prove that self-belief wrong by doing this for real.

This year is coming to an end and as much as it is funny to see people in social media ‘hating’ 2016, I more like understand where that sentiment is coming from, and as much as I could have joined that same charade in older times, I stand corrected with gratefulness for all the various challenges and changes and definitive decisions I took on this year which were quite a few, all of them having their ‘2 cents’ forcing me to look at deeper within me in order to process stuff, to change, which is great I mean, how else could I have gotten to that if it wasn’t for these challenges in our reality?

So, one thing is certain and that is how I definitely don’t see the world as I used to at the beginning of this year, I am committing myself to keep developing that focus on potential, on what is possible, on what can be worked on, carved out, sculpted and polish in each one of us and it’s truly gratifying to do this, I cannot be more grateful than being able to have the trust and confidence of other people walking this process directly with me as assisting them in walking through this same process in a parallel mode with myself, which is definitely not only a ‘one way’ form of support, it’s absolutely mutual as well. I definitely would like us all human beings to be able to do this for each other, to create relationships of support, care, nurturing each other’s lives and having that starting point of being there for each other, genuinely care to contribute in someone’s life to be better in whichever way we can, that’s what to me life is about, at least my current definition of course, but has certainly become one of my living purposes without a doubt.

Looking back to ‘check ourselves’ is cool and to keep a note on all the points yet to be worked on in the following year.

Thanks for reading aaand

Please give yourself some time to hear this awesome episode of Desteni Radio that definitely inspired and evoked this reflection within me today:

 

Desteni Radio # 10 – Joe Goes Mad Part 2: There is no Quick Fix

 

and a great quote from it:

 

Joe

 

If you’d like some support in preventing and being 1+ person that stands up for life in a practical day to day living manner, check out:

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391. Noah’s Revelations

I went to watch Noah the other day mostly because I had read some reviews from angry Christians about it and so I was curious to watch it for the sake of understanding what the fuss was about.  I usually like Aronofsky’s work and this wasn’t the exception.

 

Noah

 

What I liked the most is the ability to place into question the general belief-system surrounding the benevolent god that Christianity in this case is meant to be founded upon; sometimes it seems that all the actual killings, sacrifices and atrocities that God commands to people throughout the bible have gone unnoticed just because of it being the sacred book that defines our image and likeness, an image and likeness that as human beings we’ve tried to hard to avoid and prevent looking at, our own ‘spell to ward off our darkness’ which in terms of religions, any fault to god is a punishment acquired without ever questioning God and its commands themselves.

 

So, before discovering Desteni I could not make sense of how this God figure operates or how people would generally perceive it, since it was supposed that god is meant to be loving, caring, merciful being…. however we only have to look at our creation, our image and likeness we have become wherein our own creations speak for themselves in terms of ‘who we are’ and we are annihilating life in the name of beliefs, ideas, experiences, delusions of progress wherein our real god is money itself – and the bible is the code for this reality, how to submit to the idea that one can only get access to life if one sweats the brow all day to earn it… figure it out how we are still living in a system that is based on a biblical scheme, and somehow we haven’t yet questioned that either.

 

The reason why I find it so relevant to talk about the movie is because throughout the story, one of the pivotal points demonstrated is  that all human beings have this inherent evil as the image and likeness of the creator – and this is by far the most necessary yet obviously shocking acknowledgement for the light-hearted since it is only through the realization that if we are the image and likeness of our creator, then our creator wasn’t such ideal, merciful and benevolent being that this god/creator was taught to be to be for all religious people, including myself wherein I early on also wanted so bad to believe on something, until I stepped into the realization of the fallacy this was early on in my teens. To me it was kind of obvious that there was something inherently wrong in this world with me having to believe in a god that only cared about a ‘few’ to live very well and leave the rest to suffer with only being able to resort to ‘praying’ to make things better in this world, which is an equivalent of sitting, doing nothing, waiting and feeling sorry for myself and every person that suffers in this world. I consider that the ever-gnawing question of ‘why do we have to suffer/ why is there so much suffering in this world?’ that drove me to get to answers might still be a question that many prefer to ward off to not see and realize the inevitable, the actuality of who we are and our real nature that we had attempted to vehemently cover up with lots of ‘love’ and ‘light’ and words that we attach with ‘good feelings,’ trying to always see the ‘bright side’ without first acknowledging the dark side, the real core of our being.

 

8. Fin de la Ilusión

 

It is essential for us to realize this ‘evil’ within each one of us as that’s the first point to step outside of the bubbly cloud of being ‘the perfect godly creation’ and instead realize that if we are created at this god’s image and likeness, then we sure are no perfect loving peaceful doves, consequently nor was ‘him’ either, and this movie is able to place in full bloom this aspect of our human nature which is lived through by Noah where he has to then decide upon following the ‘word of god’ or act in the best interest of all. Suddenly this ‘god’ that never talks back becomes a great diatribe in Noah’s mind, a struggle in itself when he sees himself having to choose between ‘Him’ and the love/consideration he has for his own family.

One of the huge ‘weights’ that were lifted off of my back was to stop believing in a god, to be afraid of a god, to believe I had to please a god or else I’d be damned somehow for not completing my ‘chosen path’ that I believed existed for me to complete in this Earth. I too once believed this god was real and that I had to seek such ‘godliness’ that exists as part of religious theory books that I saw nowhere being applied in practical, physical reality – but rather the total opposite is what I witness from some of the heads of religious sects where I studied in school. So, as the song goes, I once was lost and blind but not I see and so throughout walking this process within Desteni, I was able to understand the design of religion, the design of god as the symbols to avoid and excuse our own irresponsibility, our own abdication to be self directive in our lives, our own substitutes for ‘love’ as an energetic experience that we become addicted to and believe that that is all that we have to ‘aim’ for in this world, while having to struggle at all times for survival. This is the foundation of the Catholic religion I am familiar with.

 

I can now say for sure that the outrage that some Christians have created around the movie is simply based on the shock-factor that they are exposed to when considering it as ‘anti-biblical’ and a rather a so-called ‘satanic version of Noah’s story’ when in fact it is to realize the nature of who we are and have become in fact, and we are certainly not entirely different from all that mass of people that got wiped off of the Earth with the great deluge. We’re hitting again that time in our existence wherein each tree that is cut, each crop that is genetically manipulated, each bee that dies,  each air molecule that is made unbreathable adds up to our very near demise if we don’t actually stop, or come to be stopped by consequence, and so that’s why I also consider it’s a relevant moment to watch it and hopefully more people are able to see beyond the ‘fable’ that it’s meant to be and rather turn it into a very real and applicable self-reflection process to see whether we have in any way changed as human beings, what has been missed? why are we still the same greedy evil beings that were wiped out during Noah’s times? Why haven’t we been able to change or have we? Because we create our reality as the image and likeness of how each one of us exists as the mind. This is why no attempt to ‘change the world’ is successful as we haven’t yet ‘tackled’ the actual problem which is not God missing all the prayers, but ourselves not doing the actual work required to sort out ourselves and our creation.

 

This is It

 

To all the people that have watched Noah and are ready to make peace with the fact that we weren’t created by a white merciful loving dove of a god that cares about his creation, then I suggest researching Desteni as this is the necessary step to understand why everything looks like hell on Earth at the moment, and how no matter which phase of history we look at, we as human beings haven’t evolved an iota and only now we have the potential to veer the course toward which we are currently heading at which is starkly said: self destruction. This begin within being able to walk through the god construct, the religious constructs, the spirituality constructs with which we have fueled our minds of nice experiences, hopes, prayers and good feelings in an attempt to only wait that such ‘nice energies’ have any effect to solve the very real and physical problems in this world.

 

The problem is: we have missed our responsibility for our creation, we have missed the point all along: we all have been here from the beginning and as such there is no god as such but only ourselves as creators and creations that have abdicated any responsibility to who we are as Life, and instead replaced our realizations  with fears, with excuses, with justifications, with ‘greater powers’ and ‘superior abilities’- never realizing how in every bit we defined ourselves in separation from God we separated ourselves from our real potential, our real responsibility and our real directive principle to become the individuals that we already know would make of this world-system a genuine living place in this world.

The mind is currently our god, our own darkness we tend to veil with positivity, gods, faiths, spiritualties and hope, the actual evil, the point of separation that we are here to stand up and take responsibility for in order to align ourselves to a living principle that we can all be certain will change the nature of who we have been up to now and as such, change the nature of our relationships and our current systems with which we’ve governed ourselves.

If a person goes into denial after watching Noah, they are already making a decision to keep believing in an illusion because they are not willing to face the ‘dark side’ which is not really ‘dark’ in itself, it’s only been kept aside to not face the reality of who we are and have become, which is the first step to then decide to begin conducting oneself to live and apply the tools and principles to become a living human being that is self-responsible, that learns how to care for others as we would like to be care after ourselves, that learns how to cultivate real love as work made visible, the work that benefits us as human beings to step outside of our massive black hole of which we are at the cliff of if we don’t stop and change our minds to recognize and honor the life that lives and exists within each one of us.

Happy Easter

 

“There is no truth. There are only relationships. You either are part of what is best for all in all ways or you are in self interest and allows harm to exist in the name of your personal happiness. This is the Alpha and the Omega of this world. The ultimate truth. The ultimate choice. and You decide who you are and that determines the outcome of each individual. The universe is a group and if you are not able to be part of the group, you can work out for yourself what will be the consequence”

 

“The foundation of the truth of Here will only be uncovered with Self Honest Self Forgiveness. Only those strong enough as individuals will fathom self honesty and will live self forgiveness. Ego will never grasp the simplicity of the message of Desteni”Bernard Poolman 

 

The Great Wave 09

 

 

Suggest to watch this hangout to hear about the truth of us hiding behind religions, spirituality and any other belief and how to walk toward real responsibility toward life and oneself as life:

 

Mindblowing interviews:

 

To learn more on how we can become common sensical and supportive co-creators of our reality, visit:


379. “This World is the Universe’s Asylum”

 

“Ask yourself this: Does mankind deserve redemption for everything it’s done? Is this a world which deserves to be saved? Everything you see around you, all those wars, all those acts of destruction and brutality were caused by the minds of people. We’ve destroyed this world without even batting an eyelid and you wish for us to be saved? Why?
Though well intentioned, your solutions will fail and never be heard; your voice of reason is barely a whisper in this world. How are you going to convince 7 billion people to be compassionate, loving, kind and respectful to one another and the world? You can’t and you won’t. Sorry. We condemned ourselves to this hell hole existence a long time ago. This world is the universe’s asylum. Have fun in the mad house!! Get the 9-5 job, work until your old, watch TV, eat junk food, obey the law. Trust me, this world ain’t going anywhere. It’s here to stay, sadly. You may as well partake in the madness while you’re here. What else is there to do?”
FocusReborn

 

This is a comment placed as a response to the vlog I Want the World to End and it brings up the same mentality that I would have remained in – or probably dug my own grave with – if I had not stumbled upon Desteni and taking on this Journey to Life, to finally shed the skin of apathy and misanthropy that at times emerges whenever I see or read about things that I haven’t yet fully realized are part of everything that is here, myself, no matter how hideous they may be.

 

Pollution - 2003 - Marlenlife

 

To the person that wrote the comment, thanks for writing it out as it has opened up a window of opportunity to renew my vows to myself and this process and explain the starting point of everything that we do, which  is precisely to get past such enslaved mentality of ‘nothing’s gonna change the world’ and only seek and con-form with bits of highs here and there and sit down and feel miserable about every thing that we’ve been and become, all that we’ve created as a world that we rather feel sad, ashamed of, despise or even ‘accept as is’ instead of doing something about it.  This is the kind of message that can only trap you when one believes oneself to be ‘so small, so little, so insignificant’ to create any form of change in this world, which certainly begins with ourselves, our own life.

 

It’s astounding how we discourage each other from stepping out of the (mind)frame, however I understand the individual’s starting point for sharing this and how the origin of such words are not even questioned by the author, I can read no life in it, it’s only a mind speaking for it’s own survival: the resistance to change, the hopelessness, helplessness, conformity, apathy and judgmental behavior for the sake of seeing everyone else on ‘the same boat,’ seemingly lost.  And this is not to be taken personal, as once again, it’s not the potential of life speaking for the individual, but only the ‘who we are’ as the lesser form of ‘life’ that we have become, the de-manned position.

 

The starting point of walking this process is not within the hopes of ‘changing 7 billion people,’ that would be rather disingenuous and not  considering the reality that we are in wherein yes, it will take a long time to change our current human nature, it will take the most effort from each one of us since it is as if we were all addicts of the worst kind wherein our very own lives and this planet’s stability depends on us getting unhooked from very addictive drugs which creates secondary reactions such as fear of changing, apathy, complacency, hopelessness, helplessness, positivity, negativity that I also once experienced, seeing no way out and then simply deciding to ‘jump in the boat’ of the hopeless ones, because apparently feeling miserable about the world make me at least ‘feel good’ and ‘alive’ – yes, it sounds contradictory if one does not understand how the mind operates. Once you get to understand who we are as the mind and decide to stop feeding the constant desire, want and need to FEEL anything – whether positive or negative – you start realizing how puny this little energy-whoring system that we’ve become really is.

 

Robot man - 2003 - Marlenlife

 

However it does take quite a constant and diligent decision to stop seeking the energy, the experience, the ‘thrill’ and instead breathe and direct oneself to what is physically supportive – and yes, that means that there’s no ‘highs’ or ‘bad’ experiences in doing what’s best for all, in moving oneself to become a living example of a mind-addict reformed human being, and that’s why walking this process is so unpopular in our reality – for now – because it provides no energetic payoff that one can feel ‘good about.’ Yet, all I can say is that consequences in our reality are knocking on everyone’s door and I certainly cannot recommend to anyone anything else but getting hands on keyboard or pen and start writing, start straightening up ourselves, start making sense of our own ‘mindful selves’ wherein the usual points of support sought are street or over-the-counter drugs, ad-vices from other people, escapism through alcohol, sex, developing ‘extreme habits’ only to get away from facing oneself…

 

This is the nature of our current selves drowned in a very limited pit that exists as the mind that we have delegated our every-moment of our lives to. And so, the entire ‘mess’ and ‘Universe’s asylum’ that who we are as this world have become is nothing else but a proof, a written testimony of what the majority of us are thinking and acting upon every single day, making of these thoughts our creed. And then we ponder ‘why are we so fucked up???’ while ignoring that the sheer experience one usually has when asking such question with extreme awe is already a 1+ vote to humanity’s  similar thought-patterns and experience – and once again: an experience ONLY exists in our mind.

 

Look at the trees, look at the animals, look at the air: does it show any emotion or feeling or speak about ‘giving up’ or ‘seeing no way out in this world’? Do birds get depressed and tired when the sun comes up and think of rather staying in a branch wallowing in their misery? Of course not. If anything, every single part of this existence is far more aware than a human being, and by all parts I mean animals, plants, nature, every blade of grass and that includes what we consider ‘inanimate’ too – it’s just common sense that everything that is here is an enclosed reality of which we’ve never been ‘outsiders’ from, which means that everything we see and are here is ourselves, our creation. 

 

DSC00604

 

Deciding to jump into the comfort of apathy, disdain, hatred, misanthropy or plain disgust with ourselves as humanity is nothing else but another justification, excuse and distraction to not acknowledge what it is that we are here for: to understand ourselves as creators. Yes, we have even built gods to do the ‘dirty work’ for us and have someone to blame for everything that went wrong,  just because we’ve been so scared to realize and understand that every single atrocity committed in this world is ourselves, and yes, I know, it does get your reactions going on when witnessing some horrible acts that reveal our current human decay, but that’s the whole point of it: it’s about realizing that any atrocity, any thought, word and deed against life is committed by everyone of us each time that we do not act within the consideration of what is best for all, which imply energy-less physical moments of self-direction, self-will, self-responsibility and self-honesty to act in the best interest of all.

 

These are empty words without having context as to how to live them, because they are not part of our inherent programming as to understand ‘How to be self-honest,’ ‘How to learn how to Care for yourself and another,’ ‘how to develop self-integrity,’ ‘how to become self-directive.’ In a world where the word responsibility is immediately hooked on to the usual connotations of fear and resistance, it becomes quite ‘challenge’ to remove the veils and see thing for the potential we all have to change each word into a living expression wherein, in fact,  taking self-responsibility is one of the most empowering things we can do in our reality.

 

Defeated - 07

 

Look at the ‘elites,’ those in ‘power,’ they stand as points of responsibility in our societies and because the rest of us decided to cross our arms, sit and watch TV to be entertained, they automatically got a carte blanche to do whatever they would think about that would provide the best experience, the greatest reward, the most power – isn’t this something that we All participate in as well? So why are we blaming Others for ‘doing bad things to us’ when we think and assess our reality using the exact same mental framework that ‘THEY’ do to commit the ‘BAD’ and ‘EVIL’ deeds in the world – people are nothing else but parts of ourselves we continue to deny as ourselves too, and within this we believe we don’t have any ‘say’ on this world because apparently ‘we haven’t done anything wrong’ but as long as one continues to fear outcomes instead of walking through the solution in the moment itself, we’ll continue to lengthen our process: unless we stand up for ALL life within the understanding that the part that commits all atrocities, all the madness, the neglect, the irresponsibility, the dishonesty, the nastiness is the ‘who we are’ and have become as the Mind – yet, who ‘those’ people are as flesh and bones is no different to anyone of us reading these words and that’s where each one of us has the potential to wake up from zombieland mindcontrol and start realizing how much time and space we’ve wasted in ‘feeling like a waste’ in a world that we’re turning into a wasteland with our own apathy to correct and direct things into its right place, to deliberately push ourselves to become individuals that can be trusted with life.

But again, ‘trusted with life’ seems meaningless and pointless when we haven’t even been ‘alive’ for real, we’ve only existed as automated patterns that we have called our life and within such diminished and narrow-view we then create an equally narrow view of our ‘doomed lives’ wherein we dare to write comments like the guy that wrote that – once again – without even understanding or pondering about the origin of such words and how within each one of us ‘living’ such words, we become the very problem subsumed in the ‘greater problem’ that we’ve made of our reality, due to this accepted and allowed apathetic and dreadful behavior of ‘nothing’s going to change anyways.’

 

Well, I’ve been there done that, and the reason why I made that video is precisely to address and reach out to anyone that feels the exact same way, which is quite common since everything we see around us is mostly the ultimate decay and bottom line that we’re reaching as humanity. There’s no denial of that, however this is about realizing that who we are and have become is nothing else but the worst of the worst, the lowest point that we can reach as a collective, to finally understand how we feel miserable and so create this world as misery because of such thoughts existing within ourselves in the first place. And so, the rest goes on with each word we direct to continue drowning ourselves in our self-created torment in our minds, without realizing that in doing so, we’re doing nothing else but creating excuses and justifications as to why we’re not standing up and taking responsibility for the mess that we’ve collectively created.

 

DSC00528

 

Have we been ‘bad’ as human beings? One only has to see the results of our thoughts, words and deeds and have the results speak for themselves. If we continue to bash us,judge us, blame each other and ultimately lose any sense of respect for oneself and another, we will continue living in our current world that we are all so fed up of, yet we fail to see that the answer to stop recreating the ‘shithole’ resides in our very own hands, in our words, in our actions, in the decision to live and do what gives zero energetic high, but endless self-stability and clarity that emerges with the certainty of being and doing what is right, what is best for all.

 

Fortunately, I’m walking this process to never again allow myself to be trapped in the swamps of the moody mind patterns of ‘this world is going to hell, so why bother doing anything about it?’ and actually deliberately direct myself to investigate, create and support solutions to this world, which at this stage, must come from the realization that We CAN do this if we all give ourselves that initial chance to stop the addiction to feeling miserable, sad, depressed, hopeless, helpless and instead realize that this world is about breathing and doing, not about feeling and thinking, that’s been our whole problem, so let’s stop rambling, let’s rather become part of a 1+ human physical body that decides to live, breathe and create in consideration of what’s best for all, that’s deal reached.

 

We’re not here to save others, we’re here to stand up, face and correct ourselves, and within understanding who this self is, you then won’t require to get entangled with the idea of ‘changing 7 billion people.’ So I suggest: less thinking,  more of self-awareness, developing self-integrity required to do this as a principled living, not as a result-driven thing – this is about making a decision of who one is every single moment, where I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to exist within a limited framework of my mind wherein I have seen the world from the ‘gloomy-scope,’ meaning seeing no way out, without realizing I was only seeing through this thought/emotion filter of mind which I became used to because it was much easier to ‘feel bad’ than stopping and actually doing what is supportive for oneself: to stop thinking, and feeling miserable and instead focus on the potential that exists within each one of us to ‘save oneself’ from becoming another mental patient in the asylum that each one of us reside in when existing only in the mind.

 

So, this world isn’t the asylum: our minds are our personalized one, and as long as we remain complacent to what we think, believe, feel, experience only in our imaginary worlds: the world will still look like a perverted-story of what could have been a genuine paradise. Is it too late? is there salvation? is there ‘light’ at the end of the tunnel? I don’t know, nor do I Have to KNOW as that would only once again be a creation of the asylum mentality that keeps us bound to fear, limitation and neglect most of the times. So, the solution is to act in every moment that we are here and can physically act in the best interest of ourselves and each other, which begins the moment we decide to stop participating in the collective delirium of giving up on ourselves and the world, without understanding first how it only is another trick of our minds that we can also stop and correct to not be shaken again by words, pictures, thoughts, imaginations that maintain us in our schizophrenic reality, separated from what is real here.

 

My voice and that of others walking with within this journey might seem a ‘whisper in the 7 billions in this world,’ but again, trying and change others is not our goal either, it would be cool but we understand how reality and self-change works,  so we can be the example of what it is to be able to shed the skin of limited prepackaged personalities and genuinely learn how to create ourselves, it’s the best process one can ever undertake in this world, yet be warned: there is no ‘high’ in it and that’s the challenge: this process won’t make you feel greater, stronger, smarter or being just the god in your world, and that’s the whole point: to learn how to live as physical beings instead of existing as walking mind delusions on two feet that do not even understand why we follow every single thought that comes in our mind and immediately thinking ‘its me thinking’ ‘it’s me talking’ ‘it’s me feeling…..

 

Mr. Madhouse porter – what else is there to do in this world, in our lives but to get ourselves out of the personalized asylum? Only in insanity would anyone want to remain in a miserable and limited position, so let’s start with developing a bit of care to see what it is that we would really want to live like in this world and start doing something about it.  We all are the madhouse’s porter until we dare to see that the insanity only exists in the mind, not the physical.

 

It wasn't Eve - 07

 

To broaden one’s spectrum of reality:


248. Are you Depressed about the End of the World?

What comes after we become aware of the current state of this accepted and allowed levels of destruction, annihilation and death everywhere as an outflow/ consequence of our accepted and allowed lifestyle? Self-Experience of all of which I have walked throughout these past blogs: helplessness, worry, dismay, concern, preoccupation, sadness, suicidal thoughts, wanting to ‘give up’ whatever we are doing, hoping to just die and end our experience here, hoping to end suffering through praying/ wishing/ chanting for change?

 

Continuing from:

 

I was washing the dishes this morning and on the radio comes ‘Give Peace a Chance’ and one is for a moment embraced by this ‘heart-felt song’ that reminded me of the entire documentary that John Lennon and Yoko Ono made in relation to their days in bed in a Hotel in Montreal, wherein they made this ‘pacific statement’ of make love not war – and the moment shows how people were gathered in that hotel room chanting and getting all emotional with their nice vibes and intention to ‘give peace a chance,’ lol. I mean yes, one can understand that coming from any of us that has never experienced what being a ‘casualty of war’ implies or being directly sent to ‘fight a war,’ creating a nice positive experience as a way to prevent it might seem like an adequate thing to do – but did anything change from any peace and love moment? No, if only it only lead to further dissociation of reality through the use of drugs as a temporary ‘ailment’ to ‘cope with reality’ that has become more like a worldwide crisis when it comes to seeing how many people are on drugs – either on a legal/prescribed or illegal manner . Now that we see and realize that what’s ahead within our human lives is not going to be nice or pretty, I’m sure that many might be going through the stages of planning/ plotting a ‘way out’ of the Earthly scene.

 

I want to share here just a single consideration, which is why suicide/ giving up was a discarded point for most of us that would get initially overwhelmed with the realization of who we are/ what we’ve done/ what we’ve become and simply thinking that it is just Too Much!

 

When I began reading/ hearing  Desteni, it also implied getting on a daily basis a lot of videos from all types of documentaries that would show/ reveal the abuse in this world. I at first had to ‘play strong’ and watch them all – this included of course basic education on how the monetary system worked and some basic conspiracy theories to learn how to discern reality over schizo-media frenzy. Of course I wasn’t used to being Aware of the reality of this world, as I had spent those last years focusing on reading about religions, spirituality, the occult and everything that seemed like a ‘nice thing’ to divert my attention from reality with, I was living in Hope I can say, definitely.

So, when reality hit the door along with Desteni, I went into an emotional turmoil wherein I spent almost one whole day manipulating myself with thoughts and crying because it was apparently just ‘too much.’ Was I in fact in such actions being responsible in any way or was I only focusing again on MY Experience only? Of course the latter is the correct point. It was a non stop point and I was travelling so I made a show of myself weeping throughout the whole trip from the moment I left home and went to my home city, it was endless drama – of course also then my family started saying I should ‘stop seeing all of that’ just because of how I made an experience out of becoming aware of the absolute destruction we’re imposing on Earth.

 

I recall that moment as a manipulation point because I got to be aware how ‘feeling bad’ for the things that go on in this world is only again going into a Mind-Emotional experience that serves no other purpose but as another distraction from what is HERE and what I have to actually focus on, which is stopping participating in my emotional and feeling outbursts that were actually created out of me Thinking about destruction, Thinking about depleting the forests, Thinking about Animal Abuse, Thinking about all the filthy corruption that is governing our countries, Thinking about the gigantic plaster in the ocean, Thinking about all the species that are going extinct every single day as a direct effect of our consuming-producing civilization. Did me Thinking and crying about this made any difference? No. And I certainly recall going past the mountains in the bus and just bursting out crying again, lol, it seriously was a tear-jerking mind possession, I have no other words for that and after I cross referenced it back then I realized that I had made only a Show of myself, and manipulated me into ‘Feeling Bad’ about the destruction in the world, going again into hopelessness/ helplessness, wanting to just ‘give it all up’ and seeing no future.

 

What’s interesting now is that even if I am and continue to be aware of the destruction, depletion going on in this world, I realize and have integrated within myself that generating any form of experience is truly only In My Mind and that it is only Self Interest to do that – Anu explains it flawlessly here:

Reptilians – Am I Real – Part 37

Now, I invite you to check out our constantly updated Facebook Group wherein all of the reality-show of this Earth is being presented through the latest Human Endeavors – now, how could I just ‘cry’ upon that, seriously, if everything we’re doing within this world is based on absolute self interest wherein anyone creating an Experience about the state of the world would be the definition of hypocrisy, really.  (For further understanding on this word, please read:  Day 39: Hypocrisy

 

Link to Facebook Group here:

Capitalism vs. Equal Money

 

Once you’ve read through the posts you’ll be in tune to follow through with this blog wherein   we’ll keep walking the self forgiveness on this self-experience in relation to How we are destroying the world, the animals, all living species and still dare to become emotional about it, feeling sorry for ourselves as humanity, feeling depressed/sad/anxious which will certainly not stop the oil from being pumped into your car, will not stop children from being raped, murder, sold, abused for profit and deviant pleasures, will not stop animals from being sold, tortured, used and abused for any form of profit, as well as for mass consumption to supply our ‘genius’ fast food lifestyle, will not stop the air from being polluted in faster than sound-like lifestyle that is fueled by oil all around, will not stop the slaves building our gadgets from having to work illegal amount of hours under pressure or even committing suicide as a way out of their personal hell won’t stop mothers from having to abandon their children for not having food to feed their newborn, will not stop a person from opting to go to war as a means to save their families/ get some money from such a mindless job, won’t stop people from consuming precious items that come from the most heinous ways of abuse upon life, won’t stop people from shooting themselves up with drugs or bullets to ‘escape reality’ as that would be quite similar to us becoming emotional and feeling hopeless and powerless to do anything about this world.

 

See the point?

For a moment I suggest you look at the information that’s being presented through the news, see if any reaction comes up and Self Forgive it, for example if you react to watching the documentary in an emotional way, you can apply the following self forgiveness:

Garbage Island: An Ocean Full of Plastic (Part 1/3)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel absolutely worried and anxious about the plaster of plastic on the ocean and feeling helpless about me being able to do anything to stop/ solve the problem, without realizing that me being/ becoming sad about the manifested consequences of our current ‘lifestyles’ is not going to solve the problem, nor will it enable use to be empowered to fix the problem – thus, I breathe and stabilize myself to rather continue informing about what is going on in this world, investigating how I am directly involved and responsible for the current situation in our world and How I can become part of the solution.

I commit myself to stop living only as a victim of our reality and instead, stand as a self responsible being that is willing to face the consequences we’ve all manifested in our reality as a consequential outflow of our current lifestyles and consuming conditions and within this to realize that I am part of the solution through directing myself to take responsibility for myself, my mind and my reality.

 

Visit Equal Money System wherein a recent goal has been added that reads the following:

Goal: Stewardship

Within an Equal Money system it will be recognized that Humans are a part of the Ecosystem they live in. The word ‘eco’ stands for ‘home’ – and thus, each human will be responsible for maintaining the Balance and Harmony within their home, within their Ecosystem. This involves the Monitoring of the Well-Being of the Plants and Animals within one’s Environment and to Intervene when Disharmony occurs as a result of Human Impact, so that a new Equilibrium can be established.

source: http://equalmoney.org/goals/16-stewardship

 

If anything, one should seriously have the courage to listen to what Animals have to say about ourselves as species, it is the most humbling walk through what we’ve become and within that, we might get a bit over ourselves and focus on the reality of the things as the actual process that must be walked to realize to what extent we have separated ourselves from what is HERE and what is REAL and certainly what we are missing out while living in such conflictive ways between our mind and physicals while waiting/ hoping/ dreaming about the world to end or suddenly be renewed. Rather stick to reality and what is actually here as a result of our negligence – give yourself a Self Awareness Gift to enjoy these ‘numb’ days where everything seems to be about giving further products with no other purpose than continuing the same capitalistic mechanisms of consuming-being happy –repeat again, rather support Life:

 

I got no particular suggestion, rather pick an animal that you like and hear what he/she/it’s got to say, all are equally ‘enlightening’ to see what we’ve become, what we neglect and how we can fix the problem  for sure.

 

Now, that is what we can all begin applying already, becoming aware of how Money has being a factor that has lead us to neglect the basic balance/ harmony between humans and the Ecosystem, that implies all living beings in it.

 

Within this, we can see that there is actually a lot to do other than giving up and throwing ourselves out of the window – so to speak. There is no point in wallowing since we will have to get up/ stand up anyways, and even at death, there is no way out since the process that we are going through is existential and no one is truly ‘out’ of this in any way – if any, process in the afterlife is most consequential as many beings have been able to attest in the Life Reviews at Eqafe and here a real nice wake up call I suggest you give to yourself after reading this blog and realizing that you in fact got all the potential to become part of the solution:

 

Further support:

Desteni Forum

Desteni Lite Process – Free Online Course

Desteni I Process

Equal Money System

 

Blogs:

 

Must Hear Interviews – along with the Animal Reviews –


246. Why do we Seek to Escape this World through Emotions?

Continuing from:

So, quoting the post where I got the self support

Update on Music Post, June 1, 2008

Marlen wrote:
What I’ve experienced is some tingling, mostly like goosebumps when i listen to certain songs.. but this might be mindfuck as well… hmm it’s as if ants walked within my body and extended through it all. Don’t’ know why this happens but i used to have it before as well. But this time specific with music. So would like perspective because if i have to stop it I will… just to know where it comes from thanks

Answer:
The sensation experienced here Marlen, is when a physical manifested memory construct system – ‘activate’ within hearing the sound and words.

When this occurs – observe your mind and the thoughts that arise, as the thoughts as memories will pertain to the physical manifested system within and as you – which has become you, which has formed part of your self-definition of the mind.

Margot

 

So, the Self Forgiveness in the last post indicated an actual self-revelation of once again just another personality/ character defined by the type of likes and fascinations I created out of some initial fear or energetic relationship to specific situations and music, such as the end of the world/ death and mostly a perspective upon the world being fucked, never realizing that I was the only one that was accepting and allowing it to be so and rather victimizing myself about it, complaining about it without ever even considering how I could stand as the change within myself instead of seeking it outside of me.

 

If we take a look at our entertainment – whether is music, arts, TV, magazines, books, any ‘high culture’ type of hobbies and virtually anything for that matter is part of the same industries that are only seeking after money to remain with a certain spot within our world system, a perfect world system for slaves that seek to ‘get away’ from reality for a while which is the first and most important condition that exists in order for anyone to not question the system, to not question their jobs as long as holyweekend rewards of getting wasted and laid are in place as an obligatory sacrament in order to feel ‘alive’ as the renewal of the mind consciousness system’s life is rebooted by an extensive participation in the mind as energy. And I’m merely describing what goes on and what I see/witness every single weekend around here.

The same goes with any other form of spirituality for example, seeking a holy good-doer experience within some form of ritual or religious encounter wherein they get probably the same chills/ ecstatic experience that I do while watching some bombs obliterating the Earth to the music of Godspeed You Black Emperor, and I mean I understand this can be judged as rather insensitive, but it’s just within the understanding of how a point of fear is turned into a fascination. So, it is simply about revealing what is here and look at our personal self definitions with regards to images and sounds – if anything makes you feel ‘good’ or temporarily ‘high’ and ‘out of your senses,’ problem since it indicates we are only running as a mind and are not being the directive principle of our beingness. If there was no such ecstatic experience within the music I heard, would I have been so imbued into it? Probably not – the same can be applied to anyone that has created an energetic bond to virtually anything in this world – because as we’ve said many times: we’re all addicts and have not fully grasped what our addictions are causing at a global level.

 

So in essence, this point of music as any other form of energetic experience reminds me one thing every time: what am I willing to participate in just for the sake of an energetic experience? and because of this, I had actually prevented me from travelling across the city and spending money on tickets and rides there to get a ‘nice memory’ such as going to concerts, which became like a self-religion to be there and acting out of memory, because out of the several hours I had to spend travelling and waiting, all the money on tickets and rides would be a lot more than the hour and a half that the hype happened. If it was easier to go, I would not see it as a problem, nor would I judge it, but I am specifically looking at what cost do I go and seek for these experiences, not necessary.

 

I have been watching several documentaries on drugs because I can see how every single person that is a hard-core drug addict is seeking for this ‘something’ to feel to fill some apparent void. I was ‘lucky’ to be fearful of taking any hard drugs, feared consequence so much that I simply avoided that, but became aware of the temptation that exists whenever you believe you lack some spice in your life. It’s quite hard to look at methamphetamines and the current deadly addiction they represent, literally people just hooking up on it in the first hit. And this seems to be the decay that I have been focusing on, because this is precisely the ‘I want to give up’ attitude that leads us to seek an end of the world scenario while making of anything in your life your greatest ‘hit’ and high, either through legal or illegal drugs, music, sex, buying, killing, eating, exercising, painting, walking, stealing, consuming anything and anyone just for one single moment of pleasure.

This accumulation of Self Interest is what has lead us to what we have become now: top consuming addicts that will do whatever it takes to keep up with a hedonist lifestyle that disregards where all of these little ‘treats’ come from. Certainly we are so narrow minded that we believe that everything that we consume is somehow ‘safe to use’ and perpetuate because we blatantly believe that because it being sold in your supermarket/ regular shops, it is ‘probably’ tested and safe to use by people, and it is most likely non-harmful and bio-friendly type of product, of any kind for that matter. Really?

 

We’ve bought so many lies just to maintain our little happy world-play running at the expense of life on Earth and the lives of billions of beings that are either starving, absolutely neglected by any form of care or regard or working 3/4 of a day just to make enough money to stay alive and produce the the lifestyle that we are so proud of as technological advancements and any other ‘improvement’ that is only available for those with money and can only be produced by those that are forced to remain as slaves to make it happen. That’s our reality – and that’s what sustains any form of personal-interest as entertainment or a fleeting moment of escapism, without realizing that we should not even be seeking to ‘escape’ or ‘get high’ if we could all agree to make of this world a suitable living space for all beings equally, with unconditional resources to ensure life is honored as oneself.

 

 

From Energetic Fixes to Self Expression

Now, how to turn such experience of music/ painting into Self Expression? Me making a decision to hear music or participate in any other activity that involves any form of creative process, being here breathing and enjoying the sounds for what they are and that’s it. It is definitely something that for a drunk would mean having to drink beer without alcohol, but as I said, I cannot allow myself to enslave me to a single point of energetic experience that I would actually be quite a seeker of. I have already spent too much money in the past going to concerts just because of that feeling and experience, only to every time end up saying: next time, I’ll remind myself that it’s not worth it- but not really learning since there’s always this hope that I’ll have a good time. Last time I did, I danced around while being perfectly sober which was cool but I realize that I can as well put some music on and dance and jump around – no difference since the entire exhilaration of seeing a band live is mostly an energetic experience in the mind that turns just into this one experience that one can say ‘I’ve been there’ and that’s it. We can look at all other points in our life we conduct in a similar manner, just for a little excitement there can be lots of money and time spent, sometimes even getting in risky situations or travelling across the city at night which I’ve done in my case, not the most suitable option just to follow-through with a desire.

In terms of the self-definition, I can see that at the moment it’s not so much about me defining myself according to that music, it is just that energetic experience that comes up with and while listening to certain music, but I’ll have to walk this as I go since there are several types of music, several voices, sounds that I essentially saved in my memory for various reasons. If I would have to walk through each and every single music video I adopted something from, It would take me a thousand posts. So, it is a matter of breathing through the energetic thrill, see what thoughts came up, which is not so much a thinking any more but a remembrance of a personality, which implies I have to ‘go back’ and see what that song was about, what ‘era’ of my life does that song represent and walk the self forgiveness, because it is really uncomfortable not being able to be fully directive here when such experiences arise, I mean, it’s just like when you’re cold and you suddenly get chills – same point here, but the chills come even if I am not cold per se. It can only indicate layers I have to work with in relation to these ingrained personalities and yes, it is mostly like suddenly having to take the make up off the face when it comes to these points that I had kept nice and safe, without realizing to what extent I am still controlled by it since they meant my ‘get away’ from reality.

This is a point to consider for me every time that I simply miss myself breathing here and start accumulating this search for something to be entertained with. How I have dealt with it is simply physically doing the stuff I actually have to do, moving faster than the mind’s complains about it and that’s ok, however not applied to everything equally, which is the point to direct. However, I also have learned not to condemn everything that I would do for a moment of entertainment. As Anu said once, we would go crazy without those bits of entertainment, so it’s just to be aware of me not reloading the entire personality that I have created through, for example, listening to music and doing particular activities that are as simple as walking and deifying a particular color in the sky, but remain here as breath within the realization that in doing so, I am honoring myself and actually being self directive at all times within the experience.

I realize that every time that I deliberately take myself to a point of escapism through watching/ hearing something mostly is rather a red flag indication of what is it that I am not willing to face and direct within my reality – and as such I have to instead prioritize what I have to do instead of creating further judgments about it and creating a struggle between having to ‘do my responsibilities’ but wanting a moment of entertainment. The easy way through that is by agreeing to simply leave any form of entertainment for the end after I’ve covered all the points, or most of them that required immediate direction. Otherwise, backchat accumulates and then it’s just harder to get out of that inertia – for that I suggest reading Maya Rot’s blog Day 118 – Physics and the Desteni Process – Newton’s First Law of Motion – the Principle of Inertia to understand what it physically means to Move as a physical being in self-willed manner.

 

 

 

So, how can I turn this point of self interest to a best for all interest?

Stopping seeking only my personal satisfactions, seeking ‘a way out’ of my responsibilities in this world and instead direct me to implement a world system that I can be genuinely proud of having contributed to create. That’s what I have realized is what I’m here for and any form of entertainment can be seen just as that,  a moment wherein I do something else without defining myself according to it – obviously within the consideration of not harming myself/ anyone and considering at all times not enhancing these moments through energy, but physicalize it as part of the activities that I can give myself time to enjoy for a moment and that’s it.

 

If we create a world that is suitable for living in all aspects, everything we have deemed as our personality with specific traits that would exist as a form of rebellion toward the ‘establishment’ as I have done, will simply not exist. Now figure out all the entertainment industries that will have to be reconfigured to simply be an available point of expression wherein there is no more money involved or any other angst involved behind an expression, but simply being an actual available part for our personal development without having to make it a separate ‘profession’ or ‘career’ as I did in my case, studying art just because of not wanting to be part of everything that I judged this world system to stand for: abuse of life, never asking me how in my personal endeavors to seek ‘my way out’ I also neglected any form of reality and sought only my self interest wherein only ‘I’ could ‘feel good’ about myself and never even questioning what I was supporting with money and my participation in due to only seeking to exert my opinions and ‘way of looking at life’ without any consideration of the actual life as all the living beings that surely get neglected every time we only seek an energetic fix, which is the negligence to deliberately stop here.

 

What matters is existing as the consistency of myself here as a 1+ person that is committed for life to generate a world wherein who we are won’t exist as personalities that oppose, compete and spite each other, but work together and learn how to coexist to make life on Earth a point we want to Live in, and never again seek to destroy or turn into an energetic-factory machine for our personal delights and mindfucks.

 

– I’ll continue with some more considerations of our ‘doomsday’ personalities, the desire to End the world instead of taking responsibility for it and we’ll have a look at the Actual doomsday that is being generated by you and I every single day within our participation in this world system wherein Life is certainly not regarded at all.

 

 

 

 

Watch:

 

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Interviews:


81. ‘We’re all going to die anyways’

Doomsday Character making the decisions for me.

 

Once that an apparent ‘choice’ is made and you decide to walk it: there’s no turning back. You face the consequences because, you decided to walk it for yourself.

Here I expose how I started creating excuses to not be absolutely self-directive in my career choice due to and because of still holding beliefs about the future, and specifically, 2012. I have exposed this point in the 2012 Death and Destruction post – however, this time is to expose the specific self-talk I used in relation to my career as a way to not have to actually direct myself to create a stable and self-directive future within the world system. I instead used the ‘art career’ as a way to only ‘get by’ in what I thought was ‘in the meantime’ of some major catastrophe/ end of the world scenario would take place.

I am writing this here, middle of 2012 and the sheer look at the backchat that I held for such a long time about 2012 as ‘the End’ seems laughable, however I did use it in ‘real life’ to make decisions. I mean, how far can we lead ourselves to when existing as Hope and in a general sense of uselessness to see no point in being/ becoming absolutely self-directive and self-responsible, just because of thinking that ‘I am going to die anyways.’

 

Let’s look at this character

Pattern: Future projection based on a belief of ‘the end of the world’ used as a means to not take absolute self-responsibility and self direction for myself toward a best for all outcome.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to use the year 2012 as an excuse to study something that I could ‘at least’ have some fun with while waiting for ‘the world to end’

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to make decisions in my life based on what I thought was going to be ‘the end of the world’ and it matching it with it being ‘the last year of my career at school’ wherein I thought that the world was going to be in severe problems/ the shit would be extremely hitting the fan by ‘then’/now, and that there was no point in “killing myself” to study a career to have a ‘promissory future’ of success and money, if we were all going to die anyways.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to base my entire life upon a belief of ‘the end,’ and make decisions according to what I believed was ‘a certainty,’ without realizing that I was not even aware of myself breathing and that I cannot even take the next breath for granted – thus I realize how massively deluded I was and how I programmed myself from a very young age to only ‘live up to’ the very last year of ‘the end of the world’ as 2012.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to make this decision the day that I watched all the conspiracy theories and the end of days prophecies in Discovery Channel when I was around 9 years old, and from that moment on imprint this belief within me as a certainty, which is how I built my fascination for ‘death and destruction’ as a certainty in this world, becoming the character that gets a kick out of everything that points out to ‘death and destruction,’ just because of this validating and reinforcing my belief on 2012 being ‘the end of the world,’ validating my excuses and justifications to not walk a life that will ‘last for long’ anyways.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to hold the backchat ‘Why should I ‘kill myself’ within walking some extremely difficult career to secure a future if we are all going to die anyways?’ and accordingly make decisions in my life, believing that I was really living ‘the last days.’

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to make the type of art that would depict the belief of ‘the end of days’ simply because I could not see any other future for the Earth, without realizing that in doing so, I was already giving up and seeing ‘no way out’ – never realizing how I was in fact making essential decisions within my life based on a lie/belief that I had in no way a proof or certainty of. And, even if it was ‘real’ in such case, the single decision to find the way to make the ‘least effort’ was absolutely unacceptable as within this starting point of seeing everything in the future as ‘useless,’ I was already dooming my decision to fail, because I was not directing myself within the starting point of living/ directing myself to support myself to live, but I made the decision from the ‘doomsday character’ that was only getting ready to die.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to hold the backchat ‘At least I will study that which ‘I’ wanted to study’ which is the spitefulness that I based my entire decision of studying art upon, not realizing that the backlash of me making decisions based on spitefulness – such as going ‘against the tide’ as I’ve described previously – and wanting to ‘escape the system’– would eventually hit back to me, because it was never an informed decision, but more of an infatuation-based decision which implies that, just like when you get yourself in a relationship based on the idea of love, I got into art school while ‘being in love’ with art, but not really considering the practicality of me walking it as an actual career throughout my life.

 

Within this, I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to make decisions in life based on preference/ like and infatuation leading to an obsession that I would justify and excuse, in every possible way, just like a religious person defending their faith – which is how I would shut off anyone sharing further perspectives about me ‘studying art’ and what I had to consider in practical living reality, but because I was so blinded by my desire, I did not hear and went for it by mere desire to fulfill my dream.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to take ‘my career’ as ‘my battle won against the system’ which implied my own family, the expectations that I believed and perceived everyone had about me studying some type of scientific/ mathematical career with a bright future ahead – but instead in my desire to ‘spite everyone’s expectations on me,’ I went for that which I thought would not be so consuming and draining to go through, believing that ‘my mission in life was something greater,’ and that there was no career for that. Besides of justifying this career choice in an almost imminent end of the world scenario that I believed was going to happen in 2012.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to even plan my future based on only having 6 years left of life, when I began my career, which reveals to what extent I was possessed by belief s and ideas of “the end of the world,” speaking self-righteously about it with people almost as if I had seen it for myself coming.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to, within this apparent ‘certainty,’ also hold the fear of ‘What if nothing happens?’ which I would immediately hide and suppress by continuing talking myself into the ‘doomsday scenario,’ so that I did not have to face my reality, my choices in life and the decisions I had made based on a blatant belief, immediately talking myself into the next greatest way to ‘suppress’ the actual self-responsible realization with ‘Then, I’ll find a way’ which is how I tend to lead my life based on a ‘miracle-based future,’ wherein I expect things to ‘happen’ to me instead of me being the directive principle in every moment of my existence.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become the character and pattern of ‘leaving things just be’ and within that, abdicating all my self-responsible directions in life to a consequential outflow that I had ‘faith’ was already ‘laid out for me in a positive manner,’ which was all pretty much based on beliefs in life paths, reincarnation, astrology and everything that I could use to see myself as a pattern that had a certain future of success.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to justify my decision in life because of not seeing myself in ‘survival mode’ wherein I would use the backchat ‘It’s not like I’m going to starve to death or something’ as a way to not worry about myself and my future, just because of using my family/ parents as a ‘backup’ in financial terms, wherein I believed that ‘if everything goes wrong = I at least have my parents to back me up for it

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in a laxity about the future based on me not being existing in a survival mode, wherein money is ‘not a problem’ and believing that no matter what, I would always have someone to support me – this I used to validate my career choice as ‘acceptable,’ because of not having to worry if I didn’t make it, because I would not apparently ever end up with no money at all, just because of trusting that I would always be supported by my family.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my own self-responsibility in life toward my parents/ family being this ‘security’ in financial terms, wherein I knew that it would not matter if I was not ‘immediately successful,’ but that I would ‘make it somehow’ which was me projecting myself into the future as Hope, as ‘hoping’ that I would somehow ‘put my shit together and hit the jackpot’ in the artworld.

 

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to hold the backchat ‘Why should I even project myself in a future and plan it out if we are all going to die anyways’ – which is the perfect excuse that I used to not have to be self-directive in every single step and decision I took in life, leaving it all to an imminent future that I would then have to simply ‘cope with,’ without really considering the consequential outflow of my decisions and the future as to realizing what can I do/ how can I practically direct myself to place myself in a position in the world system wherein I can ensure I can support myself no matter what.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think that ‘I’d rather ‘live in the moment and let all the woes of the future behind’ which was just me talking to myself into a state of laxity about my life, my decisions, my career and future based on this belief of ‘there’s nothing we can do, the end is imminent’ which was a statement of ‘I am only waiting to die’ which is exactly how I was living in the past, based on beliefs and ideas of ‘the end of the world,’ but also for the experience of finally ‘resting in peace’ from this world, as the final dot that I connected the belief of death to sentence ourselves to.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize how this ‘desire to die’ and for everything to end was also a character so that I didn’t have to be actually directing myself to construct a platform and foundation for myself and my future, but instead simply become this person that ‘surrenders to whatever comes,’ which is how spirituality influenced my life without me even being aware of it.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ‘surrender’ to the future by thinking that ‘There’s nothing I can do to stop it (the end) if it’s already written how it ill be” which became a comfortable thought I could resort to whenever fear, anxiety and nervousness about myself and my future would emerge.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I should rather ‘enjoy life and live to the fullest in the time left’ which is how I allowed myself to go deep into pointless habits and a general self-deprecation toward myself, the world and my own relationships that were based on the support of this view on the world, so that I would not have to worry about actually considering solutions to myself, the world as myself and stand up from such doomsday scenario playing in my head; Instead I used people, images, beliefs and the witnessing of reality as a way to confirm that ‘I was right about the end of the world’ and that it was visible at plain sight we were on our way toward it.

 

I realize that even till this day, the atrocities, abuse and absolute mayhem we Are witnessing in the world are still linked to my belief of ‘the world is gonna end soon’ which I have stopped, but has remained as a way to ‘hinder’ my ability to see myself in the future, just because of thinking that this world is way too fucked up to be corrected. Thus I realize that within seeing ‘the world’ as a big massive self-destructive picture, I get this anxiety and hopelessness experience toward it which is the character that I have played throughout my life in order to ‘give up’ before even starting in walking myself as being the solution that we require in this world.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that ‘at least art was a cool past-time for my ‘last days’ lol, which is how I would talk myself into convincing me that I had made the right choice because everything was going to ‘go to hell’ anyways, yet also believe that in the end, everything would always be ‘just fine,’ so that I would make of ‘the end’ this nice picture in my head instead of imagining all the suffering that would ensue with it.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become the epitome of laxity and uselessness toward myself as my own life, my career choice, my decisions, my relationships wherein all that I was supporting was the ‘doomsday character’ as a way to simply get-by the last days of Earth,  envisioning myself  spending my ‘last days’ in a happy-future-projected artistic outcome instead of ‘killing myself’ in some ‘serious career’ which I is how I had defined any other non artistic career to be.

 

I realize that all decisions based on a belief were meant to end up failing because they were never based on the consideration of what is best for all life, what is best for myself, how do I really want to live and experience myself in the world wherein I am not pursuing a dream, but an actual self-development process that could lead me to become the solution that I saw this world required. I accepted and allowed myself to get lost in beliefs and be consumed by actual fears of having to face myself and my future, justifying my laxity with an ‘end of the world’ scenario that obviously is and will not happen, which is how I am walking the process of taking the ‘wheel’ of my life for the very first time, ensuring that every decision I make is based on the consideration of that which I see will be beneficial for all equally, wherein I can really see myself doing something that is of support to establish a world in Equality as Life.

 

 

 

Fire Burns Me Down (2004)

 

Self Corrective Statements:

When and as I see myself going into a ‘laxity’ and ‘uselessness’ mode about myself and my future, I stop and I breathe. I realize that this is the consequence of me having based my life on a belief of ‘the end of the world’ wherein nothing would ‘really matter.’ Thus I direct myself to ensure that I walk the moment asserting myself as that which I am willing to be/ live as in every moment that I take responsibility for what I say, do and think within the consideration of what I participate in being directed to an outcome that is supportive for myself and others to live.

 

When and as I see myself going into a future projection of this world being ‘doomed’ -I stop and I breathe – I realize the projection for the comfortable lie that I used to hold as to justify my apparent ‘inability’ to direct myself effectively in the world system – thus I take self-responsibility to face the moment that I am here and stop any mind-shift and continue breathing to make practical decisions based on the point that I am facing within my world and reality.

 

When and as I see myself thinking that ‘something will sort itself out in the future,’ I stop and I breathe. I realize that I’ve used this thinking pattern as a way to not have to practically and physically direct myself to walk the steps necessary to walk something into completion. This implies that I ensure I walk point by point of one single future-projected plan by taking all aspects and participants into consideration based on the principle of what is best for all, wherein I ensure my participation is stemming from the actual self-correction of taking self-responsibility for my life and that of others as myself.

 

When and as I see myself using the excuse of ‘we’re all going to die anyways’ I stop and I breathe. I realize that this thinking pattern is a way for me to ‘step out ‘of my immediate responsibility from whatever I am facing in that moment. Thus I direct myself to instead ensure that every moment that I am here, I breathe and I direct myself within an understanding that living is every moment of breath here and not some ‘achievement’ to get to far away in the future. Thus I take responsibility for myself in the moment and ensure I make all decisions based on creating a life for myself and others as what’s best for all in a physical possibility.

 

When and as I see myself accessing a desire to ‘die’ whenever I face a seemingly impossible point in my life, I stop and I breathe. I realize that death in my mind is equal to giving up, which is just a tantrum-based character that I’ve used as a way to justify my actual lack of self-direction in everything I do wherein Death is a comfortable belief of ‘resting in peace’ so that I don’t have practically learn how to live and become self-directive in my world. Thus I ensure that I direct myself in every breath to live here, moment by moment integrating myself as the physical that is and directs itself to a best for all existence.

 

When and as I see myself believing that I will always have some ‘support’ by family as a way to not take responsibility for myself, I stop and I breathe. I realize the comfort of such belief/ idea being used by me to not take responsibility for my life. Thus I ensure that I stand for and by myself and my own means to not depend on someone else to ‘have a secured life’ in my reality.

 

When and as I see my entire life being seemingly ‘pointless’ and ‘meaningless’ – I stop and I breathe – I realize that this is the most common excuse to not take responsibility for myself.  I realize that I am here, I am not going anywhere and that what I must do is support myself to establish myself here as life, self-directive, ensuring that every decision made, every word spoken, every thought is self-directed to walk the necessary process to establish a change within me and the world that leads to a best for all outcome, wherein I realize that all excuses are only fears and limitations that have no place to exist in and as who I am as breath.

 

“I commit myself to show that the Only real Self is the Flesh that Breathes and Makes the Experience in Matter possible, and that the Flesh is the Real Man that is Meant with = “Man Know Thyself” – Bernard Poolman 

 

At the end of the tunnel (2009)

Further support:

Blogs:

 

Further support:

Now, the real deal in explaining the Future:

 

The Death and Destruction Character


The End is No Quick-Fix

Part of the reasons why I got to Desteni was because I had been driven by a desire to know of the occult, the prophecies and obviously the infamous 2012 of which I created a great belief and would even dare to claim it was a ‘certainty’ that the world would end by 2012 – lol this I’d speak vehemently about in school, high school to be precise and in English class.

So, this drive for spirituality, seeking for truths and the entire 2012 myth were the points that got me to Desteni. The single idea of ‘ending it all’ was something I had thought about from an early age – seeing ‘no other way out’ to this reality other than ‘destroying it all’/ ‘giving an end to this world’.

Well, it turns out that: there is No Quick-Fix such as ending the world and just having it all be ‘washed away’ – that’s also ‘hoping’ and not actually realizing that it is only through our own limitations that we’d like to ‘cease to exist’ without having even Lived For Real – now I see it sounds ludicrous because yes in a way what must end is our lives as preprogrammed systems yet instead of just having it all be destroyed, we’ve got to now direct ourselves to Live and create solutions for this world wherein all living beings can coexist.

So, here I am exposing how it is that within the depths of myself I’d still be hoping that there would be a quick fix such as life on Earth just suddenly ending. When looking at the reasons why I’d want this it becomes obvious that wanting to avoid the responsibility of cleaning up the mess comes up, avoiding having to walk in actual time-space this entire lifetime and others to co-create proper living conditions on Earth. In terms of facing myself it would also become easier not having to continue ‘overcoming myself’ as a human being.

This post was mostly triggered by reading the following post at the forum http://desteni.co.za/intro-forum/viewtopic.php?f=24&p=5188#p5188by Sunette upon an article placed there talking about the cataclysms and all the ‘signs of the times’ about the end of the world:

“This, is the delusion of ‘believing in hope’ – that, human-beings will ‘miraculously’ transition into ‘higher planes of existence’ from the manifested-consequence as accepted and allowed abuse we’ve done-onto ourselves, each-other the physical as earth, the animal-kingdom.
No – there is and will be No Mercy – we’ll either destroy ourselves together, equal and one with the mess of ourselves and the world, or we’ll practically stand-up, take self-responsibility, stop and change through actual physical-living. The ‘window of opportunity’ for each one is BREATH, HERE in every moment – to change self, to change the world. Participate in the Forums of pushing self to see beyond the delusions/veils of the mind – have the guts to face the REALITY of the situation.
We’re not going to ‘transition’ out of this fuck-up – we’re going to have to face it directly in the physical and change ourselves as it; as this is the creation we have in fact become as ourselves and so the ‘only way out’ – is changing it as ourselves; through practical-directive living.
Prepare yourself – get the tools; live the tools – change self to become a living example of the dignity, integrity and respect we’re capable and able of living towards ourselves, others and the earth – changing self, to change the world.”

This is such a cool message which leaves no window open for opportunists to take a hold of ‘wishing and hoping’ that some alien invasion will come to earth or that some meteorite will hit the Earth killing everyone, or all prophecies coming true and the world ending next year – lol.

Anyways the point is very clear: We’ve got to kill all hope, to stop all delusions possible and to actually have the guts to face the totality of ourselves here – there is no way out. This is probably the message that struck me the most when encountering Desteni and the reason how I got myself writing and applying Self Forgiveness and actually taking self responsibility because I saw how it was in fact so that it would be yet another ‘miracle’ if this world could just end like that – it doesn’t matter if it’s ‘possible’ or not – what matter is that I make sure I don’t leave any possible back doors as a lingering thought of wanting to destroy everything, wanting the world to end as that would mean the party is over and there is no mess left. No.

We are the current mess in this world, we’ve created it so: we take responsibility for it. This is what makes the entire Desteni message so unappealing because part of our infamous human nature is to glide away whenever self-responsibility is required, whenever actual self-confrontation is existent, whenever the truth of what we’ve become starts pouring out through our pores.

While I was at the farm I got to talk to AA and I learned very cool points from her as she’s walked the entire point of ‘wanting to destroy it all’ wherein I realized that we simply have to breathe and walk through that point every time it comes up, it’s not just something that is ‘forever gone’ – it requires constant direction as self to not give into such patterns of wanting to give-up, being ‘fed up with this world’, ‘seeing no solution’, ‘seeing no point in continuing’ – that’s also a point I keep quite present as something I learned at the farm through another’s experience: be the point of your existence whenever you see ‘no point’. This means that we often miss ourselves within it all, we take ourselves for a ride through an overwhelmingness of thoughts, emotions, feelings which is ourselves existing as an experience instead of stopping, focusing here on breath and realizing that the only way to become so ‘uncomfortable’ in our own skin is through all the mind-processes behind such experience/ as the experience itself.

The physical is just here, the physical doesn’t really go wandering about ‘the end of the world’ or ‘self-destructing’ – nope. This single point shows/reveals to what extent we’re all possessed whenever we flirt with such thoughts in our heads.

So – living in a society wherein a large percentage of the population goes day by day living under the effect of a drug to ‘make it till the next day’ implies how there is quite a lot to realize in terms of how we function as the mind, how we are not all those experiences that we create within the mind and thus how it is that if we are really willing to be the change in the world, we require to first straight up our conception of the world and ourselves in it.

Seeing reality for what it is might not be the greatest thing, yet it is within daring to see that one actually opens eyes to that which we’ve missed for such a long time, getting ourselves to the current detrimental position we are as humanity, affecting all life around us.

Seykingumu

It would only be an act of cowardice wanting to end it all – let’s not even go into the self-righteous act of ‘ending you life’ here – yet we’re still waging wars against each other as individuals and nations/ races. – yet we’re still living under the effects of drugs, alcohol, excess or lack of food and any other physical abuse that we could drive ourselves to endure for the sake of being +1 to the demonstration that we’ve got to change our ways as humanity or we’ll inevitably then self-destruct which is then NOT about ‘the world coming to an end’ but ourselves simply walking and facing the manifested consequences of what we’ve allowed to be created by our own hand.

This is where and how Self Forgiveness becomes the greatest gift we can give ourselves, even if at some point we could think ‘we don’t deserve it’ – how else would we give ourselves this second chance if it’s not through our own recognition of us being capable of actually directing all our self-destructive effort into a constructive one?  ‘Not deserving it’ would be only the consideration of ego and not of redeeming all life that we’ve harmed and enslaved in this world.

There will be no aliens, no masters, no blue beams, no prophecies, no second comings other than Equality in this world that can be created and placed by each human being that realizes and understands this is the only way to go if we are willing to actually see that we’ve been limiting ourselves by our own beliefs – mostly linked to money/ the entire current monetary system –  so in essence we’ve got to wake up from our self-created nightmare and start working with what’s HERE as who we are – equal and one. We haven’t yet LIVED and we haven’t yet even pulled-out our fullest potential so, there’s a long way to go yet at last we’ve got a certain outcome – Life in Equality within the context of it all being Best for All.

The more that join in this process, the merrier. Give yourself the chance.

“We can if we dare actually realize that there is that which we can live within space time within a construct of what’s best for all that will have astounding experiences of overwhelming excellence, maybe one should consider that as well” Bernard Poolman

Quote taken from the recording that is suggested to hear:

Too-much-ness — Others call it Overwhelmingness

Thanks for reading and Being Here


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