Tag Archives: end

257. A Piece of Heaven at the Expense of Life

Why do people turn to drugs? There is a definitive reason that cause all the dimensions that play a role  in our current Drug Culture as either cause/effect,  but a common thing is definitely the root and cause of WHY people turn to drugs. We all know the usual things, for example: to escape from oneself, to hide, to run away from the mind, to stop the abhorrent self-experience, to avoid taking responsibility for one’s life and relationships, self-loathing, etc. – but, have we asked why do we have these problems? One can say: family problems, relationship problems, issues with one’s ‘flawed self,’ physical issues, lack of self esteem, heritage, cultural trends, traditions, religions, survivalism in clans/ mafias/ brotherhoods, spiritual beliefs, shamanism, environmental contingencies, availability of narcotics due to associations/ alliances, legal drugs due to psychological conditions, and the list may go on – However, behind all of this one must see one common thing: human conditions that have lead to all of these problems/ issues/ separations and sectarianism that stems from a basic problem in our society: a lack of support for all living beings to have a dignified living that creates a proper environmental condition where All beings would be able to live without having to worry about not making it through the next day, not having to tolerate the injustice and abuse that is accepted and allowed within a system that only caters for some– that’s it. 

 

And that’s what we know in common sense and what can also be watched in all the various documentaries* about drugs that are affecting our societies wherein there is simply an absolute boredom, menial jobs for the working class – or no job opportunities at all – and a general dissociation from wanting to have anything to do with a ‘shitty world/ shitty system that doesn’t give a fuck about life!’ hence turning to have an alternate reality where ‘everything is fine, a heaven in one’s mind for a moment, a harmful  momentary high that turns into a lethal habit that leads to a living condition that is mostly deplorable in most of the cases, as well as leading to any other ‘sudden deaths’ out of the usual ODs and other negligence  that stems from lacking any form of precaution when ingesting/ inhaling/injecting/smoking a drug. It is even common to have people that do this on a regular basis become ‘icons’ in our society, our ‘role models’ which can already point out what type of ‘human quality’ we’ve become fanatics of.

 

It is also interesting how drug-culture became mainstream to a point now wherein one can watch a “music video” and there’s people smoking weed, one can watch a movie and get all the specifics on how people shoot themselves heroin and even all the withdrawal processes in a explicit manner, like in Trainspotting which is probably one of the most popular and obliged reference about drugs for many people that even learned how to do drugs through watching the movie.  I will tell more about that in following posts.

 

The reason why this is an important topic is because drugs as any other form of escapism, represents the aspect we hold on to the most, as it is a self-created intricate relationship we form with only Experience as an Energetic physical experience induced by chemicals in the physical body – the reason why I find it so important to expose is because it’s ubiquitous nowadays for people to be aware of all types of drugs and ways to get high or even self-harm to get a moment of absolute adrenaline –rush/drug of the mind . That’s becoming a children’s game  and I’m referring to what I became aware of today as the salt and ice challenge – I mean, this is how kids age 10 or even less can get used to having a way to get this absolute pain and fear that are the most ‘powerful’ self-experiences created at a mind level when inducing pain along with the ‘challenge’ aspect – where kids will mostly broadcast themselves doing so to ‘prove’ to others they are able to ‘handle it,’ and what mostly happens is kids then will turn to seek for more ‘intense experiences’ like that. Even our words and vocabulary is pointing out blatantly what it is that we are inducing within ourselves: that was Intense! all energy based, and if you’ve been reading these series, you would be aware by now of how energy operates within the physical body through consciousness as a system that we believe is ‘who we really are,’ which is comprised of all our thoughts, emotions and feelings that we whole-heartedly have believed is ‘what living is for’ and if not.

 

This Grave mistake of identifying ourselves with all the drama, excitement and high-intensity of any self-experience is what is mostly leading us to an actual death wherein we disregard actual life/living just for a ‘little piece of heaven.’

And this is what’s leading humanity to a certain end if a single pattern of addiction continues without any definitive decision to STOP.

 

Please read the series to catch up to this point:

220. Drug Culture: Mad Society as a Lifestyle

 

 

I had made a pause in these series due to the impending ‘doomsday’ that I decided to write about due to my inherent responsibility in having participated pretty much in that type of doom-mentality or gloomy-self-experience as we’ve called it – and what is left is pretty much ourselves, having to face what we have become and as such, take the wheel of our reality in all levels, in all ways and have a look at how we’ve become what we’ve become, which is also another form of escapism through the mind to evade the responsibility we all have here.

 

Drug Culture is quite a common topic virtually everywhere in the world, no matter if it’s a high-energy-hyped society like many places in Europe and America or a third world/ poor country in Africa, or under developed regions like South America – everyone’s got the same ‘epidemic’ which is drugs which includes alcoholism as main problems that maim  the ability for any being to realize and take self responsibility, because drugs imply one single point: a giving up experience that is now turned into an addiction, a need, a fascination and obsession wherein people are literally willing to give all their money, all their life just for one single initial ‘rush’ that any drug can give them. While observing this, it is impossible to not create a parallel to what we understand now of how the mind works, wherein we create our own fixations in order to fuel and satisfy this idea of ourselves that we’ve simply copied, absorbed and ‘become/ embodied’ without a question, and that includes addictive patterns of seeking this ‘greatness’ as an energetic experience that is able to be obtained with drugs, pretty much flushing your entire life down the toilette for a single self belief of you being ‘perfectly fine/ in control / able to quit any time and all of the people that have been severely enrolled in hardcore addictions mostly find it very hard if not impossible to actually live out that belief of being able to stop and quit at any time.

 

That is One single dimension of the addiction: the energetic experience that we are familiar with the moment we accept emotions and feelings as ‘who we are’ and what drugs do is an overall enhancement of this relationship within the ‘who we are’ as the mind, which implies that we are completely hooked on absolute self abuse, since any energetic experience  – as anything that requires energy – is not ‘for free,’ it is an actual process of consumption of the very physical tissue/ fabric that provides the necessary resources for any drug to function properly – this is why the deterioration of the physical takes place in drug addicts/ consumers – among other various dimensions that involve the living conditions that hard-core long-time addicts end up living in or are born in, which is also another aspect that leads to drugs – all in all: stems from lacking actual living support in all ways to live in a sound and healthy environment where life could be actually honored = hence it is a matter of Collective Responsibility, since we are all responsible for continuing fueling a system that is not providing a sound environment for us to develop our expression to our utmost potential.

 

The purpose of these blogs will be to point out main factors that lead to drug consumption, the reasons behind that and how to support oneself to Prevent drug-addictions, referencing the usual ways in which one picks up this belief of drugs being the ‘greatest thing ever’ as well as gathering enough strength to realize there IS a solution to this world, there IS a way to support ourselves to stop seeking to ESCape from reality and instead, sober up and stand up to support the actual change we all dreamed of, it’s in our hands, so we must clean our act before we can establish ourselves in the actual world we have all wanted to live in, and within this, also paving the way for the children to come and ensure they do have the absolute opportunities  to Live and express themselves, and never again resort to any form of escapism through the mind to manifest a self-abusive ‘heaven’ in the mind.

 

Erroneously – those that Profess to be ‘Souls’, will Claim that the Body of Flesh is a temporary Illusion. And they would base it on the Experience they Generate through Mind Systems, which Follows the Design of the System where: the Search for Meaning and Reason, would Follow through the Combination of Predesigned Platonic Solids as Key Parts to Systems that produce Energy and Visual Input which the Person Align with, So Intensely that they Believe that it is Real, and they Disregard the Simple Reality of a Breath and Food and Bodily Functions that Keeps them Alive.
In this, these ‘Souls’ End-up Acting like Vampires in the Physical Reality, Seeking to Consume everything in their Path for the Self-Interest of the ‘Feeling’ that Produce, according to them, the ‘Experience of Happiness’. The fact that this ‘Happiness’ is Produced at the Cost of the Suffering of Uncountable Living Beings – Simply is Ignored or Seen as ‘Collateral Damage’ of an Illusion that will ‘Suddenly, Magically’ Disappear.”  – Bernard Poolman +

 

Self Support to Begin your Journey to Life is Here:

 

Blogs:

 

Interviews:

 

Documentaries/ Videos suggested that present the context of what Drug Culture implies– Viewers discretion suggested: NSFW

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2012 Death and Destruction

To me 2012 was a year of ‘The End’ and I was once an acrid believer that something would happen in 2012. I would  get an energetic kick out of speaking about ‘the apocalypse,’ ‘the end of the world’ and all possible outcomes wherein I mostly wanted everything to be wiped out, it would make my life ‘exciting’ as in looking forward to the year we’ve just stepped in now.

I assume that this belief got to my ears through the Discovery Channel back in 1998 or around that time when I was interested in watching exorcisms, prophecies and all things occult that they would broadcast from time to time. The idea of ‘the end of the world’ and ‘alien abductions’ were topics that fascinated me and my father from a young age. We both wanted us to get abducted by aliens – yes as bizarre as that may sound – until I got to see a movie called ‘fire in the sky’ and then stopped desiring being alien abducted going to the opposite of ‘being scared of being alien abducted.’  Funny that I didn’t remember that and it just came up as I began writing.

The general ‘feeling’ of talking about aliens, the end of the world, Nostradamus, 2012, Earth’s cataclysms and the general madness in the world was that of excitement mixed with a sense of fear at the same time, along with a general sensation at a physical level like when you get chills,  it was an overall energetic experience to point it out bluntly. If I could give a word to it would be ‘sublime’ wherein something that is supposed to be of great horror produces a sense of  pleasure and fascination, mostly related to the pictures and aesthetics associated with it.

Now, I would have to go as far as seeing how living less than a 100 km away from a volcano that suddenly became quite active when I was 7 years old became part of this constant ‘watch’ of ‘something bad happening’ in the form of a natural disaster. I used to be the one linking all possible tragedies and events to a potential ‘end of the world,’ I became a clue-finder seeking in all religions and all prophecies all points that could match a general pattern that could confirm to me: the world is going to end in 2012.

2012 was of course then the reason why I came across Desteni while seeking lectures on YouTube explaining the Mayan Calendar by Ian Xel Lungold. This guy’s explanation seemed really accurate at the time in the overall understanding/ explanation of this calendar as the exact depiction of events and cycles that we’ve lived as humanity, which  made absolute sense to me. I bought a book by Dr. Calleman called The Mayan  Calendar and the Transformation of Consciousness – which I’ve recently given away – and after I read that book, I was eager to know ‘more’ about it all. So I ran a search and found Ian Xel Lungold from the Afterlife and the rest is history.

It all made sense to me right away, I became extremely excited and kept watching the material until I realized that 2012 had been a sick joke, a part of the program to keep humans entertained and realized that I had been duped just like everyone else. I mean, when I was in high school I would engage myself in long conversations about how we required to just give an end to the world, because that was the only solution I saw  to the increasing problems we were facing in that moment –this was around 2004/ 2005.

Now,we know that there will be no end of the world per se – The only End I could promote now is the endless human disregard and carelessness toward this reality as ourselves, the end of the negligence toward each other, the end of being self-centered humans that have no fucking idea of how the world works, how we are currently keeping the system in place and how the reality that we ‘seek to attain’ within this current system is sickening the world to its highest capacity.

After all these years- and I mean a belief that probably remained dormant and as a secret ‘back door’ in my mind for over half of my life – I realized that I wanted it all to end because deep inside I would see no solution, nor did I ever see myself as the point that could be the solution itself. I actually went as far as making choices in life based on ‘the world ending in 2012’ – I’m walking the manifested consequences of all the deliberate decisions I made based on me literally thinking that by 2011-2012 the situation in the world would be so dire that I would not have any time/money left to study, I pictured myself living in the worst case scenario by 2012 wherein I could finally make use of my excuse to not direct myself effectively while claiming ‘The world was going to end anyways!’

Just to give some perspective on the lies that I read. According to Calleman, by November 2011 there would be no human being on Earth without having reached enlightenment.

However, this entire 2012 point became more than just ‘a year,’ it was a general view/ perspective creating an entire personality within me of seeing humanity as doom. Now this is not about now stopping seeing the reality as it is. It’s about stopping perceiving the reality through the eyes/perspective of a general ‘doom’ and gloomy view wherein the thoughts that would run through my head were only that of giving a ‘clean end’ to this world. I realize that I don’t have to be keeping this ‘view’ on the world all the time. I am aware of it yet don’t allow myself to participate within further energetic kicks and secret resorts of thinking that I want it all to just end for once and for all.

AA’s videos on her wanting to end this entire existence were of great support for me in the past because I realized that I had the same ‘secret desire’ for that, yet she proved herself how it is not possible to destroy it all hence we go into the reason and excuse of why it was easier to promote and think of ‘an end’ to this reality without taking responsibility for it.

Self victimization is just another way to not take self responsibility and actually do what is required to be done. It was much easier to just claim doom and not actually take the time and dedication to correct myself.

As I continue this after having recorded myself in this, I see that 2012 point and general view on the world is no different to a god belief on something/ someone wiping out the Earth all of a sudden, with everything and everyone just having an end for once and for all. 

So, what I am doing here is directing myself to stop this personality which is one of those points that I’ve held on to as a point of self definition that entailed ‘hope’ as well, not hoping for things to ‘get better’ but hoping for a clean end to come out of nowhere for everyone.  I mean, these thoughts of wanting to exterminate it all are quite old. I have an image of having these thoughts when I was in elementary school – around 5th grade – and how when discussing the rate of pollution and general problems in the world, I had this image of extermination of all humans in my head, I judged myself for having those thoughts because of seeing them as ‘evil.’ Ever since I kept it as a secret, a form of general ‘disgust’ toward myself and the rest of humanity for becoming the scavengers of this Earth. Once again, this is not to now claim ourselves to be little white doves, this is to end the energetic input I would place to this which would create general experiences of animosity and apathy toward human beings, another form of superiority wherein I apparently was the only one that ‘saw’ reality and our ‘true parasitic nature’ on this Earth.

Actually, part of this process has been moving from this general aversion toward humanity into making myself the  proof that it is possible to change. This is not easy, it is a process – though I am certain that it is possible because we have examples already of that with many walking this process along. We’re not done yet of course and there’s a lot to be walked through as the manifested consequences of our general disregard toward life in this reality. However,  this time it’s very clear how to proceed from now on in terms of not participating in this general personality of seeing it all as gloomy-doomy eventually becoming my own experience and contributing to the actual doom and gloom that many human beings are in fact experiencing every single day because of our general disregard. Once again, it’s easier to have a particular gloomy perspective toward the world instead of taking self responsibility for it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to add a positive charge to ‘end of the world’ ideas as that would mean that I would be – apparently – able to finally ‘rest’ and ‘forget about it all’ in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I could ‘get away from this reality’ by dying and within this, believing that ‘it all would end which could only signify that I am not willing to walk an actual process of re-educating ourselves to live for the very first time as equals.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in thoughts of death and destruction  creating a general view/ perspective of reality wherein I would see ‘no way out’ of it other than  exterminating humanity to ‘end it all’ for this world.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see and realize that within wanting to ‘end it all’ I would only be standing as a single perspective according to ‘how I see the world’ wherein acting and thinking from this starting point destroying it all, would be an actual selfish and self-centered perspective, without taking into consideration the whole as myself.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that ‘wanting to end it all’ = wanting to end the creation that I thought I could not stand one and equal to, to create a point of self correction as myself within this reality, and instead resorting to quick fixes such as ‘ending it all’ because of believing and perceiving there was ‘no way out’ of it. I /we / all are creators of this reality and we take into consideration the fact that we must work together as equals toward a best for all outcome, instead of hiding and damning this reality by participating in thoughts that indicate an actual abdication of self responsibility.

I realize that the only way for us human beings to be acceptable within this world will be through a process of becoming Earthlings, living according to Earth’s rules and cycles, wherein we actually become the caretakers of nature, the animal kingdom and the entirety of the planet and every single part of it that is equally here, assisting and supporting the unconditional expressions that are here and that we’ve neglected for all this time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/ desire and wish for ‘an end’ to all of this as a form of not having to face myself, not having to actually live a life of actual work and dedication to create myself as the point of change I see we require to take on as ourselves to create a world that’s best for all. I see, realize and understand that ‘seeking the end’ is another quick fix to not have to actually face the consequences of our actions as human beings. I direct myself to be and become the change that I want to see in this world, not only for myself but for the rest of the beings that are equally here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to form this personality of seeing only ‘death and destruction’ as a form of sticking to a point of self-definition and entire personality wherein all things related to such points would be of my ‘fascination,’ which is another way to keep myself entertained and ‘fascinated’ with the experience/ energetic kick I’d get out of it, instead of actually investigating how I have contributed to the separation that is existent within this reality that is ourselves, our creation.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to perpetuate this point of ‘doom and gloom’ by engaging and promoting ‘the end of the world’ wherein the secret desire was that of not having to actually walk a life of taking self responsibility, of having a job, having to walk the general lifestyle that a human being has – hence I actually feared facing this reality ‘as it is,’ and the quick way out of that was through ‘exterminating everyone’ including myself, which is an actual self-righteous and self-centered perspective that is not taking into consideration the actual consequences taken in the name of others as well.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to identify myself with this general fascination  with ‘the end of the world’ and create it as a ‘link’ toward my father because of him ‘liking these topics as well’ and making of it a justification of why I get these thoughts of death and destruction and have made them something ‘cool’ to talk about, because of how I used to use such topics to be able to relate to him.

I actually got to confirm this by striking a conversation with him and getting to see what’s the source of his general anger explosions over really insignificant things (e.g. “losing” the parking lot’s ticket and becoming extremely irritated about it) and the conversation got us to how he gets violent thoughts toward other human beings wherein in the past, if enough rage accumulated, he’d actually engage into verbal/physical fights –

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to divert my point of responsibility by exerting anger and rage toward the world and seeing ‘the world’ and the people in it as ‘the problem,’ instead of first looking at myself and realizing where I am not being self honest and taking responsibility for what I am participating in within my thoughts wherein the ultimate separation toward other human beings and the entire existence is generated to eventually be manifested as the reality that we’re living in.

We’ve accepted this ‘temperament’ as ‘hereditary’ and it was only yesterday that I saw how I would identify with such thoughts that he would sometimes externalize in a half-joking way. I always accepted them as part of my father’s personality, never seeing how such point existed within me as well. Hence all of this is here to understand how I have created myself according to my father’s thoughts in terms of death, extermination and so forth. It’s fascinating because you don’t get that impression of people holding these thoughts when interacting with  them (him/ myself) yet such thoughts are actually existent within us, which is a general fucked up thing really as the invisible backchat that we hold every single moment that we are not breathing here, it is only now that I am here to stop them for once and for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create  of this ‘death and destruction’ perspective of the world as another form of ‘hope’ and ‘belief’ for something just provoking the end of the world in one way or another, just so that I don’t have to actually walk through the manifested consequences of having separated myself from this reality and not taking responsibility of it/myself = self-responsibility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever get a sense of comfort out of talking and voicing these thoughts with another and get validation in the form of ‘I think  the same way,’ wherein I then accepted my thoughts on death and destruction as ‘valid’ within the context of not feeling ‘as evil’ now because ‘someone else is also experiencing it’ therefore it must be ‘okay’ to stick with them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold on to this particular personality as a way to keep ‘myself’ as an ego that solaces in thinking/ wishing for an end so that I don’t have to face myself in reality.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to have disgust toward myself as a human being and a general aversion toward humanity because of only seeing us as parasites sucking out the life out of this reality instead of looking at how we can become the points that support life and stand as pillars to restore that which we have destroyed and neglected throughout time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep a ‘secret desire’ to end this world, to give an end to my life and everyone’s life just because of not seeing a way out of this. Very interesting, I see how self-righteous this point is

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to act in self-righteousness whenever I see and perceive that ‘there is no other way  other than killing everyone’ and within this, taking a decision for myself and ‘everyone else’ without even taking a moment to consider the actual implication of this point in reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to view this world and reality from the starting point and perspective of death and destruction wherein I saw no ability to create solutions because of allowing myself to be overwhelmed by the words, pictures and images that I’ve seen and participated in, without realizing that with me existing in such a constant and perpetual ‘point of view,’ I am actually co-creating and manifesting this reality the way that I am currently seeing it and perceiving it – therefore I stop because it is common sense to stop adding more misery and destructive thoughts to this reality.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that within the very starting point of ‘how I see the world’ I am perpetuating this general view of death, destruction, helplessness and overwhelming experience of the world ‘as myself,’ without realizing that whatever I accept and allow myself to think and experience, I am in fact not stopping but continuing to participate in it as a form of keeping my mind/ thoughts/ personality intact and creating an excuse as to why it is ‘okay’ for me to continue existing in this particular world-view/ reality-perspective.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to engage into the perspective of death and destruction because of feeling like a ‘victim’ within this world, wherein I would see myself as a victim from the starting point of ‘not having ‘chosen’ to come to this world’ hence justifying my actions and perspectives as an outcome of me ‘not having chosen to be here.’

 I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create of the belief ‘I did not choose to come to this world’ a justification and validation to judge everyone in this world as ‘humanity’ as a form of spitefulness for believing and perceiving that I was only brought into this world without me wanting to be here – hence using t his point as a form of justification to rebel against my parents at some point and against the world that I thought ‘wasn’t meant for me.’

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to use this perspective as a form of superiority wherein I was in fact only seeking to validate my excuses to not take self responsibility for this world just by the mere fact of being here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a sense of helplessness when looking at the world wherein it became an easier aspect to ‘play out’ as an experience, instead of becoming the point of solution that I see is required in this world, instead of only focusing on the doom and gloom wherein the only ‘way out’ was a general wish/ desire for human extermination.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to contribute to the current reality of actual death and destruction that I judge, criticize and complain about without realizing that within my own experience as the general perspective toward myself and this world, I was re-creating that which I wanted to ‘stop’ – hence I stop seeking an ‘end’ outside of myself and become the end of such experiences myself, wherein I do not accept and allow  myself to perpetuate such thoughts to use them as an excuse to ‘not stand up’ because it all being seemingly ‘futile.’

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to only consider ‘my own view’ of this world as ‘real’ and accepting the blunt ways in which I see/ perceive it as ways in which I could justify my apparent inability to create and stand as the solution, instead of always having the same starting point wherein no matter how much I could see the common sense of a general situation, because of having this initial and ingrained starting point of ‘wanting to end it all,’ everything would be diminished to the level of ‘temporary highs’ that I would use to get myself ‘up’ for a moment, only to reach the bottom once that I would go back to seeing the world in the same way/ perspective of death and destruction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create my own veil toward this reality wherein I have stated ‘all I can see is death and destruction’ and within that, creating my entire experience accordingly, wherein I would go judging people in this world from a superiority point without daring to look at myself and how I am in fact part of the same points that stand in separation from each other the moment that we dare to remain as such self-judgment, disregarding that we are in fact doing this to ourselves within the realization that we are all part of this reality that is here as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that within wanting to ‘get rid of something’ I am actually not standing one and equal to it to create a solution ‘within it’ and mingle myself as equal to such points to become the direction that is required to create a best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to  use the idea of ‘killing/ exterminating/ getting rid of’ as quick fixes to not have to actually walk the process of self-correction that is here and that I am being able to walk one and equal as everything and everyone else that is willing to stand as equals as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to actually fear facing the manifested consequences of this reality and within fear, wanting everything to just ‘disappear’ so that I don’t have to deal with the ‘ghosts’ of regret and guilt for not having done anything to stop this reality as myself, within myself.

The point that I explained in the video 2012 the world ends with you is exactly this point: if we don’t like what we see, we then become the point of change that we want to see in this world instead of being perpetually judging it and confining myself to a single perspective wherein it becomes quite ‘difficult’ to see ‘some light at the end of the road’ without realizing that I have only been placing myself deliberately to look only through that tunnel, instead of realizing I can simply stand aside and see the greater picture without having to seek for ‘a way out’ but instead see how I am able to integrate myself – mingle myself – as one and equal as everything that  is here through practically correcting my perspective and view of this world to begin with.

And so, this is the process that I’m walking. This is the beginning of the end of my self created doomsday perspective of this world. If I see that this reality must stop, that this reality cannot continue as it is existing now, I become that point that stops within myself at the thought level. Instead I support myself to start seeing how to create solutions, how to correct myself, how to implement ways in this world wherein we can walk an actual process of self-creation in equality in every moment that I am able to breathe here, stop participation in doom and gloom and instead, use that to expose this reality along with the practical solutions to stop such events from manifesting, which is the process that begins with ourselves. I stop.

Suggest hearing AA’s video on this point which allowed me to ‘breakthrough’ this point

Too Lazy to Change

2012 The World Ends with You

Support yourself – learn how to walk this process to the utmost specificity here

Beginners – Thoughts, Writings and Self Forgiveness – Conscious, SubConscious and UnConscious Mind


The End is No Quick-Fix

Part of the reasons why I got to Desteni was because I had been driven by a desire to know of the occult, the prophecies and obviously the infamous 2012 of which I created a great belief and would even dare to claim it was a ‘certainty’ that the world would end by 2012 – lol this I’d speak vehemently about in school, high school to be precise and in English class.

So, this drive for spirituality, seeking for truths and the entire 2012 myth were the points that got me to Desteni. The single idea of ‘ending it all’ was something I had thought about from an early age – seeing ‘no other way out’ to this reality other than ‘destroying it all’/ ‘giving an end to this world’.

Well, it turns out that: there is No Quick-Fix such as ending the world and just having it all be ‘washed away’ – that’s also ‘hoping’ and not actually realizing that it is only through our own limitations that we’d like to ‘cease to exist’ without having even Lived For Real – now I see it sounds ludicrous because yes in a way what must end is our lives as preprogrammed systems yet instead of just having it all be destroyed, we’ve got to now direct ourselves to Live and create solutions for this world wherein all living beings can coexist.

So, here I am exposing how it is that within the depths of myself I’d still be hoping that there would be a quick fix such as life on Earth just suddenly ending. When looking at the reasons why I’d want this it becomes obvious that wanting to avoid the responsibility of cleaning up the mess comes up, avoiding having to walk in actual time-space this entire lifetime and others to co-create proper living conditions on Earth. In terms of facing myself it would also become easier not having to continue ‘overcoming myself’ as a human being.

This post was mostly triggered by reading the following post at the forum http://desteni.co.za/intro-forum/viewtopic.php?f=24&p=5188#p5188by Sunette upon an article placed there talking about the cataclysms and all the ‘signs of the times’ about the end of the world:

“This, is the delusion of ‘believing in hope’ – that, human-beings will ‘miraculously’ transition into ‘higher planes of existence’ from the manifested-consequence as accepted and allowed abuse we’ve done-onto ourselves, each-other the physical as earth, the animal-kingdom.
No – there is and will be No Mercy – we’ll either destroy ourselves together, equal and one with the mess of ourselves and the world, or we’ll practically stand-up, take self-responsibility, stop and change through actual physical-living. The ‘window of opportunity’ for each one is BREATH, HERE in every moment – to change self, to change the world. Participate in the Forums of pushing self to see beyond the delusions/veils of the mind – have the guts to face the REALITY of the situation.
We’re not going to ‘transition’ out of this fuck-up – we’re going to have to face it directly in the physical and change ourselves as it; as this is the creation we have in fact become as ourselves and so the ‘only way out’ – is changing it as ourselves; through practical-directive living.
Prepare yourself – get the tools; live the tools – change self to become a living example of the dignity, integrity and respect we’re capable and able of living towards ourselves, others and the earth – changing self, to change the world.”

This is such a cool message which leaves no window open for opportunists to take a hold of ‘wishing and hoping’ that some alien invasion will come to earth or that some meteorite will hit the Earth killing everyone, or all prophecies coming true and the world ending next year – lol.

Anyways the point is very clear: We’ve got to kill all hope, to stop all delusions possible and to actually have the guts to face the totality of ourselves here – there is no way out. This is probably the message that struck me the most when encountering Desteni and the reason how I got myself writing and applying Self Forgiveness and actually taking self responsibility because I saw how it was in fact so that it would be yet another ‘miracle’ if this world could just end like that – it doesn’t matter if it’s ‘possible’ or not – what matter is that I make sure I don’t leave any possible back doors as a lingering thought of wanting to destroy everything, wanting the world to end as that would mean the party is over and there is no mess left. No.

We are the current mess in this world, we’ve created it so: we take responsibility for it. This is what makes the entire Desteni message so unappealing because part of our infamous human nature is to glide away whenever self-responsibility is required, whenever actual self-confrontation is existent, whenever the truth of what we’ve become starts pouring out through our pores.

While I was at the farm I got to talk to AA and I learned very cool points from her as she’s walked the entire point of ‘wanting to destroy it all’ wherein I realized that we simply have to breathe and walk through that point every time it comes up, it’s not just something that is ‘forever gone’ – it requires constant direction as self to not give into such patterns of wanting to give-up, being ‘fed up with this world’, ‘seeing no solution’, ‘seeing no point in continuing’ – that’s also a point I keep quite present as something I learned at the farm through another’s experience: be the point of your existence whenever you see ‘no point’. This means that we often miss ourselves within it all, we take ourselves for a ride through an overwhelmingness of thoughts, emotions, feelings which is ourselves existing as an experience instead of stopping, focusing here on breath and realizing that the only way to become so ‘uncomfortable’ in our own skin is through all the mind-processes behind such experience/ as the experience itself.

The physical is just here, the physical doesn’t really go wandering about ‘the end of the world’ or ‘self-destructing’ – nope. This single point shows/reveals to what extent we’re all possessed whenever we flirt with such thoughts in our heads.

So – living in a society wherein a large percentage of the population goes day by day living under the effect of a drug to ‘make it till the next day’ implies how there is quite a lot to realize in terms of how we function as the mind, how we are not all those experiences that we create within the mind and thus how it is that if we are really willing to be the change in the world, we require to first straight up our conception of the world and ourselves in it.

Seeing reality for what it is might not be the greatest thing, yet it is within daring to see that one actually opens eyes to that which we’ve missed for such a long time, getting ourselves to the current detrimental position we are as humanity, affecting all life around us.

Seykingumu

It would only be an act of cowardice wanting to end it all – let’s not even go into the self-righteous act of ‘ending you life’ here – yet we’re still waging wars against each other as individuals and nations/ races. – yet we’re still living under the effects of drugs, alcohol, excess or lack of food and any other physical abuse that we could drive ourselves to endure for the sake of being +1 to the demonstration that we’ve got to change our ways as humanity or we’ll inevitably then self-destruct which is then NOT about ‘the world coming to an end’ but ourselves simply walking and facing the manifested consequences of what we’ve allowed to be created by our own hand.

This is where and how Self Forgiveness becomes the greatest gift we can give ourselves, even if at some point we could think ‘we don’t deserve it’ – how else would we give ourselves this second chance if it’s not through our own recognition of us being capable of actually directing all our self-destructive effort into a constructive one?  ‘Not deserving it’ would be only the consideration of ego and not of redeeming all life that we’ve harmed and enslaved in this world.

There will be no aliens, no masters, no blue beams, no prophecies, no second comings other than Equality in this world that can be created and placed by each human being that realizes and understands this is the only way to go if we are willing to actually see that we’ve been limiting ourselves by our own beliefs – mostly linked to money/ the entire current monetary system –  so in essence we’ve got to wake up from our self-created nightmare and start working with what’s HERE as who we are – equal and one. We haven’t yet LIVED and we haven’t yet even pulled-out our fullest potential so, there’s a long way to go yet at last we’ve got a certain outcome – Life in Equality within the context of it all being Best for All.

The more that join in this process, the merrier. Give yourself the chance.

“We can if we dare actually realize that there is that which we can live within space time within a construct of what’s best for all that will have astounding experiences of overwhelming excellence, maybe one should consider that as well” Bernard Poolman

Quote taken from the recording that is suggested to hear:

Too-much-ness — Others call it Overwhelmingness

Thanks for reading and Being Here


Euthanasia: Evacuate the body that suffers

 

Testing through words to write about – it became obvious that the points related to death, pain, suffering had to come through after realizing the death of a beloved being, yes everyone that had been at the farm enjoyed her.

I can only speak from the innumerable amounts of times that we played ball, the many times she’d come to my desk and place the gooey ball on my leg to throw it to her – it was never too far or too high for her to catch it, it never was too late at night or too early to do the same over and over again . All I’ve got is cool memories from that, but I also saw her suffering from the time she got her surgery and how she was really down and in pain – we’d take turns to baby sit her through the day – I remember not being able to cope very well with seeing her that way because she’d always be the ever-panting type of dog that’s never too tired to play ball…

 

So, a decision had to be made today, to put her to sleep because she’d had to basically go through the same process again which could eventually become a pattern – she had a process of her own definitely and some videos are still up about it if anyone wants to review them I’ll leave the links at the end.

 

Though this point opened up the Euthanasia which is something that I fully support and I told L how it is weird that we accept to do this to an animal but not to a human being – why not? because there’s a mental attachment from human beings to other human beings? I’d say the same goes towards an animal – anyways to me that type of differences make no sense in this world and preserving a human being alive just for the sake of keeping the family or the people close to the one that’s suffering ‘happy’ is sheer egoism, sheer selfishness wherein the actual experience of the human being is not being considered at all.

 

I cannot see why there are laws that cannot actually allow the person itself to decide to die, to have an ‘assisted suicide’ for the sake of ending the suffering from a terminal disease – we’ve become so infatuated with life preservation – or should I write “life” because we know we’re not yet actually living-  and within that, pondering our ‘thoughts’ and feelings/emotions and whatnot over the actual physical experience that another goes when getting to a point wherein life in the physical becomes too much to handle, becomes a drag in itself – that’s not living and all people should be able to decide when to have a dignified end to themselves in such conditions – for clarity and third eye parties: this is NOT supporting suicide, once again: this is only in cases of people going through terminal diseases and any other physical impediment that tampers the ability to live and have proper physical functioning in this world as a decision taken by themselves after having had proper psychological and medical assistance to evaluate the case – yet not forcing the point of them staying alive if it’s virtually impossible to stop a degenerative process in the body –

 

From when I was a young girl I remember my grandmother was sick and remained with various illnesses through her entire life. I had quite a relationship with her, I liked teasing her because I saw her as easy-to-be-picked-on yet it wasn’t with malice, it’ was more like a way to make her laugh and stand outside of her own pains and self-created turmoil she lived in.

I remember organizing all her meds that were lying inside a box, out of their respective boxes and so when I showed her what I had done with them and expected a ‘thank you’ she proceeded to shuffle them all again, seemed she liked her stuff all messy anyways – I don’t know why I got that memory so embedded. Anyways she’s dead, she died like 2 years ago while I wasn’t in Mexico, seems my family cared-a-lot that I wasn’t here and that I didn’t say anything about it when I was back, nor have I gone to the cemetery or anything, not interested either.

My mother probably still sees this as ‘rude’ as she sent me a message to remind me of the day that she died this year – I simply replied ‘ok’ because I have nothing else to say about it – I didn’t grieve over her dead even though this is the closes ‘death’ I’ve had in my life – though I was never really close with her either – anyways, I was actually glad that she died because she ended her life-long suffering from various diseases – yet when saying this to my family, they reacted momentarily to my words but eventually saw how it was true.

When I explained to them how people grieve over their own death and how they aren’t actually considering what the person goes through when people are wanting the person to remain alive, they understood how it’s actually selfish to preserve someone alive for the sake of the people around them.

 

Unacceptable-  yet morality fucks the points up, all religious babble that condemn these acts as well, all that which stands as a posture that isn’t considering the physical actual reality at all.

 

Lately I’ve had several people commenting on my video entitled ‘Is there Life after Death?’ in spanish – fascinating how it has pushed several buttons because everyone wants to believe there’s a heaven you go to – I only could ‘hope’ there’s a heaven for animals because they’ve been the real deal here in this world – and they are the ones that we’ve put on major suffering through our domination process on Earth – unacceptable. Though obviously not really ‘hoping’ for them to exist after death, is just one of those thoughts that I’d like to resort to in cases wherein we see animals suffer and die – I breathe and let go of it all as nothing that can die can be actually real – that’s the key here.

 

And so – we look at how evacuation comes after the word euthanasia – evacuating the body that requires to be put to rest to go back to the earth, evacuate it from the consciousness that suffers, that thinks and feels – seems to be the most eloquent and reasonable thing to do yet, we’ve got many perspectives in this world still fighting against this right.

 

I take some of the points that Bella once discussed in a pair of videos wherein people would focus too much on Euthanasia or assisted death and would create such grand debates instead of actually making sure that the same emphasis is placed on actually Assisting Life – so it’s a matter of considering Life as the cycle that must be taken into consideration from beginning to end in equal-consideration – no point must be ‘more important’ or feared or relevant – instead simply considering what’s best for the being and their experience throughout their life and support everyone the best possible way.

So yes, when Life becomes the highest value, death as an end to this life must be taken with the same care till the last moment and won’t be influenced by any type of morals or money or any other ideology that is currently deciding for being, but instead accept Death as part of the cycle that we’re in here for.

I have experienced these taboos at home and I’ve brought the points up until it becomes more ‘comfortable’ to talk about it- yet fascinating that people go into this tension to simply not have to speak about it.

Probably facing the ‘fear of death’ has come to me only through dreams. I had a very specific one wherein I gave my last breath when realizing I was  going down a cliff inside a car that had simply missed the road and that was it – I’ve also faced fear of death in some real life minor events mostly involving car accidents, one where I could’ve fried to death and that I actually shared in a blog because it was in a fucking instant that I could’ve been dead in the middle of the night – fascinating how we’re so vulnerable to dying and that’s how we simply say: live every day as if it’s the last day of your life – that means: do not fear death, it’s useless to live to die and to see death as something that is not to be spoken about, or must be ‘avoided’ at all cost.

Removing the ‘fear’ and confronting it for what it is has allowed me to be more stable here in my reality – in moments of apparent death in dreams I’ve been mostly allowing it to come as in realizing: okay this is my last breath and I go – only once did I freak out while dying in a fire… so yes, I’ve forgiven myself for that and that’s it.

I am here and I live – I walk and I don’t fear dying – that’s what my conscious mind wants to say though there’s obvious points that I haven’t faced as an actual death so, it’s one of those points wherein I simply know that I won’t be thinking about ‘going to heaven’ or ‘going to hell’ and instead welcome the death when it comes and in any form it comes as I’ll know that it’s not something ‘bad’ to happen to me, but a single basic outcome that’s inevitable the moment you’re born into this world. As simple as that.

 

So conclusion of this all:

Dignified Life = Dignified Death for ALL in Equality 

This way we don’t make death any more or less than what it is, we accept it and simply allow ourselves to let go of those that depart as it’s only part of life to accept and see death as part of this cycles we’re living as.

 

Thanks for reading.

 

The Beginning – Timeless


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