Tag Archives: enlightenment

The Starting Point

By Ken Cousens

 

“True Love cannot exist in the presence of Unequal Station”
In this essay we will explore the fundamental context that one must address in order to understand the concepts of Equal Money and Equal Life. This context is summed up in the title of the essay: The Starting Point. Simply stated, it is one’s starting point that will wholly determine whether one can comprehend the concepts of Equal Money and Equal Life, and in that context there are only two starting points that exist, either one starts from the point of self-interest (“What’s in it for ME?”) or one starts from the point of what is best for all (“What’s in it for WE?”). There is no middle ground. If one is starting from the point of self-interest, one cannot get there from here. Every argument and every position rallied against the principles of Equal Money and Equal Life become self-nullifying when the starting point is self-interest. When life is viewed from the subjective position of unequal station, where there is greater and lesser, superior and inferior, more deserving and less deserving, and every variation thereof, then nothing exists except for the self-focused reality of self-interest. Not only is it a fact that true love cannot exist in the presence of unequal station, but nothing exists in the presence of unequal station except the self-absorbed reality of personal agendas, the self-focused litany of arguments ad nauseam that insist it is more important than all of existence, and that rights of birth, station, position, status quo and everything else are there to support the illusions of separation and all of its variants. In simple terms there is only the choice between Life and self, and what those saluting the flag of self have failed to take into account at this stage of planetary evolution is that life has had enough of the abuses of self, and is now taking control, whether that is apparent to the self or not at this moment in time. In time, and the not too distant future, it will become the most self-evident principle on the planet.

 

When the starting point of one’s approach to Equal Money and Equal Life is “What Is Best For All” then the entire universe rearranges itself to make the principles self-evident, as if they always existed as an integrated whole system, a complete interconnected fabric of life and existence that has never been without harmony, balance and equilibrium while still at the same time fully observant with eyes wide open to the horrors of separation and all of its spawn. Such a starting point is not about the lofty abstraction of positivity in ignorance of the realities on this planet, it is simply the firmly established stand that there is only one choice for how money and the systems thereof must ultimately be applied, and that is to do what is best for all. In such context, Life is seen as a fluid continuity that is in communion with all of existence, and every part contains the template of the whole and the whole is seen in every part. In this, the starting point is to stand as Life; to take the stand within and as oneself as Life means that one cannot do anything that is not fundamentally based on the sound principle of what is best for all life in all expressions and all manifestations. Life as what is best for all is based on correspondence, which is simply the ability to respond as the equal and parallel coefficient of every other expression of life, to respond as co-equal to all other forms of life, to nurture every iota of life as one would one’s own breath, and the in breath and out breath of one’s own respiration, as re-spiriting, is the inspiration and out spiration of life as spirit as one and equal to every and all living expressions.

 

When one takes a stand for Life, it is a self-directive state of being that establishes an implacable position that will not be swayed and cannot be persuaded from that position no matter what may come at it. All time and space cannot persuade one so situated to rescind the commitment, and such a stand for Life will inevitably force all of existence to rearrange itself to conform to the intent of such a stand for the principle of what is best for all. To the self-focused and self-interested such a stand is madness and has no logic, because the starting point of such is that if it does not serve self in its self-fulfilling gratification, then it has no meaning and has no value. The self-interested cannot even fathom such a stand for Life because there is no instant gratification and there is therefore no value to such a one.
The self-interested character that resides, in one variation or another, in almost the entire planetary population knows only one principle, so succinctly expressed in the statement “What’s in it for me?” It is like a universal radio station tuned to WIIFM, and the pain, suffering, agony, pleading, misery, torment and convulsions of the world and its population are like distant static that are so effectively tuned out by that finely honed instrument of self-adulation and ego-maniacal madness known as the self, singing blithely “I, Me, Mine…I, Me, Mine…I, Me, Mine….” as the world descends into entropic annihilation. “Are you mad?” proclaims the self-interested adherent when presented with the concept of “The Greater Good” because such a one cannot even begin to understand that there is anything outside of itself worthy of its attention. Their starting point as well as every other point along the timeline of their existence is always and forever centered on self, so such concepts as a global economic and monetary system based on the sanctity of Life, the honoring of all beings and the exaltation of the life force in every plant, animal, human, forest, ocean, river, field and ecosystem cannot be fathomed and never given credence. Conversely, a system in which every action is within dynamic equilibrium with all beings and all existence so that Life itself is forever regenerative, equally manifesting what is best for all beings, reciprocally and mutually beneficial to every form and function, and eternally sustainable, is as natural as the first breath of a new born baby to one that stands for the principles of Equal Money and Equal Life for All.

 

The self-interested starting point can only hear the word “Money” in the phrase “Equal Money” and cannot comprehend that such a word as “equal” has anything to do with money. Money to the self-interested is the beginning, middle and end of all existence. It is not a means to an end, it is the end itself. The self-interested worship at the altar of money and never give it a second thought, never understanding that every dollar that passes through their pockets and accounts is attached to someone, some where, that must service a debt, toil in the fields, labor in the factories and deliver the goods that their self-indulgent lives may be supported and sustained on the blood, sweat and tears of millions whose bones pave the way to an imaginary heaven so that the privileged few might easily enter such a promised land. The self-interested do not even know that the word money itself is derived from the name of an ancient moon goddess (“Mon”) that has woven her lunar spell over countless generations so that their very minds are wrapped and enraptured as nothing less than the lunatic fringe of a world gone mad, driving the teaming masses to commit the unspeakable and heinous acts and assaults on Life now taken for granted as if the end point of this madness is the way it is, the way it has always been and the way it will forever be. Such phrasing as “It’s to Die For” and “I will kill to have that new car” are taken as a given, as natural, as the rallying call of the self-interested, thereby establishing their starting point as death, violence and destruction just to fulfill that one last desire before the closing of the last curtain over the stage of all life, to die for one last pleasure, to kill for that one last prize.

 

Therefore, one must start with the logical question: “What is my starting point?” How does one approach the question of Equal Money as a direct expression and manifestation of an Equal Life for all? Does one, in fact, start from the point of recognizing that every thing in existence is standing as Life itself, for everything has a life force, and that life force is equal in all things. But, you say, rocks do not have life force. To which the proper response is, oh but yes they do. They stand equal as the manifestation of Life in every atom of their substance, that stands equal with magnetism and electrical current that flows throughout their molecular bodies, and from the rocks comes the soil and in the soil exist the teaming masses of microorganisms that are essential for every plant, animal and human to stand in their life as the physical embodiment that they are. When Life is seen from the starting point of an inextricable web of creation that is wholly interdependent on every other living thing, just as the systems of man have created a global system that everyone is completely dependent upon as a quantum whole, then the starting point begins to become clear as that which holds and sustains Life in all things, in all creatures and in all of manifest existence. And every other thing, every seeming inanimate expression of Life, when looked upon in and as part of this inextricable fabric of Life as a quantum whole, can and will be seen, if the starting point is Life as one and equal, as part of the whole, both dependent and interdependent for its life, life force and existence, as standing in oneness and equality with all Life.

 

So what does it mean “to stand” for Life and “to stand” for oneness and equality? It means simply that one chooses as a self-directive principle to make Life and what is best for all as the central point from which all one’s life, actions, thoughts, feelings, emotions and intentions emerge. It means one stands for Life and cannot be moved from that position, as a commitment of one’s being beyond time and space, as a holding point and station that will not ever again accept or allow that which is not best for all or in support of Life. From such a starting point, everything that is not in support of Life, that is not properly founded on life-enhancing principles, shall, as by a force of nature, depart from one’s existence. If one takes that stand resolute and without equivocation, then all of Life and all of nature shall rearrange around oneself in correspondence with that stand; and when two or more stand for and as Life, together as one, Life is here in that co-equal commitment and co-resonant expression and the power and force of that commitment is expanded exponentially. In that stand and starting point, the mind cannot enter, because the mind by design will seek every angle, every perspective and every strategy to find fault in that stand and position. The mind as the starting point is designed to support separation and self-interest, and therefore, if the starting point of approach to the concept of Equal Money is one of the mind expressed as logic, economic models, mathematical equations or any other spawn of the mind, one can never see past the veils of illusion and deceit upon which such a starting point is premised.

 

To the mind of self-interest, the starting point of a forest is nothing more than a calculation of board feet, bonds and capital, corporate equity and the rest of it; to one who stands as Life in equality, the forest is a living community with infinite variety, infinite grandeur and infinite expressions, seen as the whole forest consisting of and equal to every part and every being living in that expression of Life standing equal to the whole. As such, if a human enters that forest and standing as Equal Money and Equal Life utilizes the mind as a tool, the calculations of that self-directive being with and through their mind will analyze the use of the forest in a sustainable model. In such an approach, every living creature in the forest is taken into consideration, so that if harvesting timber is part of the intention, then it will be done with the life of the forest itself taken into consideration so that the forest is left both intact and sustainably continuing in its life force and every component part’s requirements sustained and maintained. This approach can be applied to any other system, whether it is a farm, a river, an ocean or a planet. Human needs can be met in such a model, and Life itself will direct the principle and the calculations and the considerations to sustain the whole, including humanity, within the context of preserving the part of every whole in its integrity and its right to Life. Standing as equality includes consideration for the future, so that the future needs of the system, at whatever scale, are part of the calculations, so that the sustainable model can exist here and now, and can continue in every moment here and now into eternity. Standing as Life is standing in and as eternity. Standing as Life is standing in and as Equal Station with all of Life, in its infinite variety of expression and manifestation, and in its eternal continuity throughout all of existence.

 

Standing as Equal Money means that one has taken the irrevocable stand as a commitment of one’s being to live in every breath as the principle that money is only a tool whose utility must always be applied to what is best for all and shall provide the means and methods whereby all of Life will be honored as equal in life force in the part and in the whole. Standing as Equal Money establishes a starting point that money is seen as a system that previous to such stand was created and applied within a context of competition, jealousy, fear, violence, destruction, proceeding as a veritable biblical plague that will devour everything in its path to perpetuate its existence as the god of humanity and a force that cannot be contained. Money in and as a principle of unequal station creates hierarchy, posits reality on seemingly immutable laws of lack and limitation, in which some will have and some (read most) will have not. The inevitable equation of money premised on unequal station is that some have the so-called divine right to hoard and accumulate wealth to be applied only for the glorification of self to the detriment of all of Life as a whole. This, of course, equates to the love of money, where in such an equation this so-called love is nothing more than the penultimate expression of self-aggrandizement, self-interest and self-adulation, all of which is, in fact, nothing more than the inversely proportionate expression of self-loathing, self-degeneracy and self-abnegation.

 

What those in such a station at this point in time do not see, realize or understand, is that money as a force has now taken control of all of the systems previously created to support and sustain it, and that force is one of pure unadulterated self-interest equal to the negation of Life, which can only be defined as a reverse reflection of LIVE, thus as EVIL, and that it is now commenced on the process of consumption of all in its path, including those previous masters of money who perceived and believed themselves destined to own and control all of Life and all of this world. All who insist that money in support of self-interest is an eternal and never ending ride shall one day soon wake up to the sober realization that they are one and equal to that which they support and have become. Therefore, those in support of money in any manifestation of inequality, where the few have much and the many have none, shall be increasingly faced with nothing left but themselves and as themselves they will be sorely pressed to face all the consequences that ensued from such a starting point. To those it can only be said to consider the possibility that at some point in time, somewhere, some when, somehow, Life finally has had enough. Now Life, as the most powerful force in all of existence, has begun the slow and steadily increasing reversal of the game whereby only Life as an Equal Station, as an Equal Starting Point, will inexorably have the final say in the matter. And the beginning point of such a say is in fact matter itself, as matter derived from mater, the material matrix from whence life emerges, the mother of all here in the physical, not in some ephemeral dream posited as heaven in some non-existent future, but right here, right now, whether as Life in the microcosm where the microbial expression shall overtake mankind’s ignorance of Life itself in its use of drugs, antibiotics, chemicals, poisons and genetically modified organisms, or in the macrocosmic scale of weather and planetary ecosystems that shall, if necessary, remove the offending apostates who think they can play god and own and control Life itself. All the money in their self-contained delusions of grandeur will never buy Life and will never again buy anyone a first class ticket to heaven. Get real, get with Life, or pay the consequences when you must, inevitably, face yourself and only yourself in the end. And do not delude yourself any longer, for you do so now at your own peril. The beginning of the end has already begun.
Life is now in control.

 

Life can and will rearrange the system of money to serve Life, and those clinging to money as their god and their central starting point of self-interest, will find that they are beginning to lose their grip. Indeed, they are already finding this to be the fact. All of Heaven now stands as equal to Life; before the maxim as above, so below was literally true, and therefore, the hierarchical, unequal structure of Earth in its monetary system of life-negation was indeed how Heaven was arrayed. But a doorway was finally opened between Earth and Heaven, and the infinite separation that had allowed the previous system to be created, to grow and thrive, was suddenly dissolved forever. Those in the hierarchy of Heaven, in which control and enslavement equal to that seen here on the Earth, had suddenly become aware of the situation, and they took the stand – finally – to serve Life. Now, those who previously had been assured their destiny as masters of the universe here on Earth, no longer have the support of a stratified dimensional Heaven that supported their stations as the seeming masters of Life. Suddenly, and irrevocably, all in Heaven came together as one, equal with and as Life, walking a process to face themselves, to forgive themselves and to commit themselves to what was best for all, best for Life.

 

The stand for Life, with the starting point of asking the question with every action: “Is this Best for ALL?,” requires that one must always start with and stand on the principle of self-honesty. When one fills a car with gasoline and uses that gasoline to convey oneself to a place for self-indulgent purposes, does one honestly stand with the principle that the price paid for a gallon of gas does not come close to paying the full price in all of its consequences for all such self-indulgent acts? When one drives a car to work to make money in an industry that negates Life, that destroys Life, that contributes to the annihilation of species, of ecosystems, or the planet as a whole, can one truly face oneself in self-honesty and avoid the fact that in consequence there shall be a significant price to pay for that gallon of gas, that day’s events, or that job, or that transaction, that corporation or that nation? Can we as a whole, as humanity, stand in true self-honesty and view the condition of this world and the condition of a large portion of humanity and say the current system of money and politics and religion, the triumvirate gods of most who refer to themselves as human, and say that this system is what works for all and is best for all?

 

Can you who are reading this essay stand and look at yourself in the mirror and see in yourself a mother clutching her starving child to her withered breast bereft of nourishment and blithely just discard that living child to the trash heap of history and grind her bones to build more castles and citadels designed to protect and defend the sanctimonious temples of this world; can you continue believing that in ten thousand years of more of the same, such bones of countless starving children shall turn to limestone and become the marbled pillars of the moneyed institutions in some future world in which such money stands as god of existence and all bow down to it and pray for relief to be disbursed like rolls of copper pennies. Can you in unabashed self-honesty look yourself in the eye and see yourself standing one and equal in the body of a wretched soul who must grovel in the trash heaps of this world to scratch out a meager subsistence of life, to stand equal to the children having to sleep loveless and cold in the discarded corners of every city, to stand equal to the battered women as they endure the relentless onslaught of violent and impotent men made so by a soulless society that cares naught for their existence save for how their life force can be forcibly extracted to energize the neon lights of this phantasmal illusion that knows nothing of real Life? Do you ever ask yourself what was that bump in the road that momentarily disturbed your air conditioned limousine ride through the perfumed corridors of your mind, and listen for the answer that says it was the discarded bodies of a billion hungry men, women and children that you have built your empires upon or perhaps the countless piles of bones littered throughout your history of neglect, contempt, and disdain for such lesser beings not worthy to eat the few crumbs that fall from your sumptuous banquet table? Do you really think the incantation of the priest will absolve you of personal responsibility as you pass from your deathbed into the beyond, or perhaps do you ever consider the possibility that now that Heaven walks equal as one with Life, you will only be met with the reflection of your own starting point and you must walk every moment of it with full awareness of every deed you have done and every consequence you have spawned?

 

It has been said as if eternally true that there are only two things that are certain in life: death and taxes, yet now, there is really only one thing that is certain, and that is that in death one will inexorably have to face oneself. At that moment there will be only one question: “What was your starting point when given for consideration the concept of Equal Money as a new system to replace the old, one in which all things are constructed to serve every aspect of Life, every being and every thing?” Was it “What is best for all,” or was it “What’s in it for me?” Was it “How Can I Serve Life?” or was it “Who Will Serve Me?”

 

Equal Money has nothing to do with money, for money does not exist. Money is simply the totality and reflection of humanity in its current relationship to life, which is a system on automatic drive that is self-perpetuating, parasitic in its total expression, and harvesting the substance of the life force of all of humanity without regard to the consequences. Today money serves the ego and the illusion of false prosperity and the abject denial that things are seriously wrong in this world. Today money is god, for both the godly and the godless alike; all worship at its altar and pray to its deified visage in their minds. It is not a pathway to Life as best for all, but only for what serves them and them alone. When the starting point of anyone upon hearing the phrase Equal Money is that which is best only for themselves, they only hear their own denial and the collective din of humanity in its mass consensus hallucination that all is right in the universe. All is not right in the universe, yet all can be made right. We need only commit to and stand for the concept of Equal Life for all, commit to and stand for the principle of prosperity and abundance for everyone, commit to and stand for the starting point that all children go to sleep at night in a warm bed, with furry toys tucked in beside them, with warm bellies filled with nourishment, with all men and women standing together in joie de vive, a joy for life born from the soil and substance of their lives in harmony with all other Life, standing firm and implacable in the realization and understanding that by standing for Life they stand with and as all of existence.

 

So in the end there is only one choice, death and annihilation, or Life and eternal vitality for all. True love can only exist within the balance and harmony of equal station for all, which means simply that all can stand in their own lives equally, that all fundamental rights of existence that one would want for oneself and one’s family are equally available to all. In such a paradigm, money automatically becomes an equal equation that is utilized for fulfilling the requirements of Life as best for all. It can happen in an instant breath for anyone, it simply requires a paradigm shift in a quantum moment, to take the stand for Life, to realize that Life in correspondence with Life is what true love consists of and exists as, and to realize that all substance here in the physical is the very fabric of Life itself. To deny any other being the full compliment of joyful existence in the full vitality of Life is to deny oneself the very same, for we are each as to and unto each other the mirror reflection of ourselves, and in fact, we are each other as we are Life as a whole. We only have to wake up from our self-induced nightmare and take a stand against the perpetuation of the illusions of separation within and as the abstractions of the mind, which have driven us to the very precipice of madness and precariously close to the imminent tipping point towards irreversible planetary ecocide. But the hour is getting late; it is very late, indeed.

 

ALL Equality is WITHIN the ESSENCE of LIFE itself,
From which All Form Emerges;
When this is not recognized and understood,
A separation occurs where No Joy is Ever Possible.[1]

 

There are many here among us, who feel that Life is but a joke;
But you and I, we’ve been through that, and that is not our fate;
So let us not talk falsely now, the hour is getting late![2]

 

 

[1] Bernard Poolman, Creation’s Journey to Life, Day 174
http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/10/day-174-after-death-communication-part.html
[2] Bob Dylan, All Along the Watchtower

 

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251. Does Hope Solve the Matters of the World?

“There is hope after despair and many suns after darkness” – Rumi

We tend to hope and wait for something to miraculously fix that which we accepted and allowed to happen in the first place.

Statements like Rumi’s are empty words that mean nothing/hold nothing of substance, yet create the most ‘impact’ when it comes to our feeble self interest that exists as the aspect that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to exist as, which is the mind as consciousness.

We were looking at yesterday how we have defied the natural laws of the physical reality  by creating obnoxious hierarchical schemes that a series of bubbles would never follow through with, as any arrangement that represents a point of abuse cannot simply be sustained at a physical level.

bubble efficiency

 

  • Does HOPE exist or is it necessary as a ‘force’ to create this perfect physical demonstration of the inherent properties in which matter arranges itself when having to coexist with equals and working as One unit?
  • Is Love required in order for these bubbles to learn how to arrange themselves in the most perfect way of coexistence that does not even require an actual push by the creator of the bubbles for the matter to arrange themselves in a clear equal disposition in reality ?
  • Is Peace required for them to agree to coexist within the most stable form wherein all bubbles share an equal amount of space from the first bubble upon which the unit is being built upon?

 

The answer to all of the above is: No, and this is one single and plain demonstration of how no one had to speak any form of airy-fairy words to create such perfect arrangement of matter in front of our eyes. There is no Resistance stemming from the bubbles to do this – is this a godly force at hand then?*

What has happened with us human beings and words is that we have used them as energy, as consciousness instead of using words as a physical livable consideration of the best way in which we can in fact live as. This means that what we have become is the result of having neglected physical reality and followed only energy as either positive or negative experiences that in no way have a direct correlation to physical reality, but we have instead imposed such experiences onto the physical laws as a violation to this physical natural disposition, creating our current chaos/ inequality/ abuse and suffering just because of having ignored that principles we should all inherently direct ourselves as.

 

What does this mean?

 

The moment one react to statements like “There is hope after despair and many suns after darkness” can only indicate that: You are existing only as a programmed mind to react with a self-defined positive experience to words that indicate ‘you have nothing to do, you just have to remain in your state of inertia’ wherein a future projection/ Imagination process must take place for you to envision this marvelous outcome after the ‘darkness’ which is what we are currently existing as according to this statement, which is precisely in reverse, I’d say. We are in the era of absolute enlightenment as the ultimate demonstration of ego in its full splendor that uses words like Hope, Love, Peace and Light, Faith, Bliss as a way to Ignore the physical laws that we have violated in the first place, leading us to what Rumi and many other light and love spiritual people consider ‘darkness’ as the ‘bad and the negative.’

 

Test that for yourself – make some bubbles as it is explained within the section of The Code episode of The sphere, bubbles and how nature’s economic laws function – now, speak to the bubbles the word HOPE and see if their arrangement changes to maybe some other marvelous arrangement of sorts, you can also try voicing love, light, peace, joy, happiness, bliss, light, whatever you consider might be ‘supportive’ for these bubbles to coexist. You can do the opposite then, speak darkness, bad, evil, madness, violence, guilt, remorse, shame and see if the bubbles change their arrangement.

What will happen most likely is that they wont’ change no matter how much good positive vibrations/ words you speak to them, their physical stability is not affected by human consciousness.

 

Now, if you do the same experiment with a human being, most likely the person will react to all such words in both a negative and a positive experience – their body will most certainly remain functioning, breathing, stable as a physical unit, but who they are as the mind might go into an array of energetic experiences that they might even follow through with further imaginations, pictures, judgments, reactions, internal conversations, fears and a plethora of mind-experiences that will eventually create an effect upon the physical body. And so, it would be very clear how we are the only ones that create an instability through our words accepted and allowed to exist only as Energy and participate in such experiences while disregarding the physicality, the constancy and consistency of breath as that certainty of who we really are.  It should be very clear with this how we are our own disease and we are our own cure.

 

The question is, why would we need ‘hope’ for things to get better if we can instead work on ourselves individually to understand which words are in fact livable, which words can be definitely actions that can be physically lived as humanity to be able to coexist in such a perfect arrangement like the bubbles above? The answer is: there is no need for hope, we have just created these words to protect self interest, because the reality is that we have not willed ourselves to coexist in such equality-arrangement as bubbles and acting as one single unit composed of various individualized expressions, all sharing equal parts of the main foundation which is the bubble in the center. This thus implies that we don’t really require hope or imagination or reactions of emotions and feelings to create a solution in this world and that the only obstacle is our own ego/ self interest/ desire to have ‘more’ of space while neglecting that such decisions lead to unbearable consequences, which is what we are living now in our world.

 

The solution is being shown by the bubbles themselves which are the same laws that nature in itself is also functioning as. The only external factor that has caused consequence is the human being of course, and not even who we are as physical beings as our physical bodies function within similar processes as any organic entity in this world – thus, it is only who we are as consciousness, as the energy system that has taken the wheel of our beingness in order to exist as the ultimate self interest experience wherein we have certainly Not ever questioned why it is that we have accepted some to have it all and some to have none and as such, create the most heinous imbalance in reality that has existed from the very beginning of our existence, we have just come to the pinnacle of it again and as such, we’re also existing in the most important times we’ll ever face in our current reality: the absolute possibility of Self-Correction and Self-Responsibility in order to align ourselves to a Best for All Outcome.

 

We are presenting the Equal Money System which is exemplified perfectly by the natural arrangement of the bubbles above. Each individual sharing, coexisting as equals with equal support and opportunity to live in the most optimal condition while coexisting in one single unit as a whole.

Many say nature is wise, but it is even wiser to actually learn from the physical laws that are existing as the arrangement that enables the sustainability and trust that we can have on the constancy and consistency that this physical reality represents, and actually implement it as the laws and regulations we can found our lives upon on Earth – who we are as the mind varies from second to second, from word to word spoken to another human being as the example I placed above – how could such flimsy self-experience could be the reality of ourselves? How could we be trust worthy with life if we dare to abuse the physical in the name of an energetic positive or negative experience? We simply can’t.

 

The Equality System also represents a physical preventive set of regulations that will ensure no need for hope or faith is ever looked for again within humans, it is quite obvious that such words stem after the ‘boat has sunk’ and as such, represent an illusory correction to a problem that could have been prevented in the first place. There is absolutely no point in indulging in words that represent a nothingness, an insubstantiality that cannot be physically lived but instead, we can simply erase Hope from our vocabulary and turn it into a disposition and willingness to coexist as equals, without any resistance, without any fear as those points can only exist within the who we are as the ego of the mind, as consciousness.

 

Bubbles of self interest floating around just fall and disappear – bubbles that stick together become more resistant as they are sharing their beingness to create a more stable structure, even if of course eventually all bubbles will be burst, just like ourselves having a defined lifetime wherein the last question that I’ll leave here is the following:

 

It’s clear that all of that which is not directly linked to and supporting what is Real as the physical reality will have to be eliminated, the same as any word that is simply not supporting the expression of who we really are but instead have become the very shackles we have accepted and allowed as a way to remain idle, waiting and hoping for something to resolve the Matters at Hand.

*“If you cannot ‘drive’ the ‘Matter-within’ which is the ‘Matter’ of what is ‘Important’ for ‘Everyone’, the ‘Matter of Equality’ -How can you ‘expect’ ‘Equality’ – to ‘Support-You?’

 

If you are not ‘willing’ to ‘give-up’, that which is ‘causing’ the ‘Problem’ in ‘Matter’, in ‘Space-Time’. In the ‘Physical-Reality’, which is an ‘Unequal Money System’. An ‘System’ that ‘do-not give’, to ‘each-one’ a ‘Support Structure’ to make the ‘most’ of ‘this Life’, in the ‘Physical’ – If one do-not take that-on, and Stop that – Why should ‘Existence’ ‘Matter’ ‘about-You’? Why should ‘Existence’ ‘Care’ ‘about-You’? Because that which you could ‘do-something-about’, you did not… ‘Matter’ to ‘you.’ It didn’t ‘Matter’. It wasn’t…“I don’t..It doesn’t ‘Matter’, I mean. I… ‘See’ if I ‘Care’. Why should-it ‘Matter’ to ‘Me’? I mean, ‘My Life’ is ‘Fine’. I’m ‘Happy’. I mean, I’ve ‘Worked Hard’ to be ‘Happy’! ”

 

Really? Yes, your ‘Genetics’ fell by a ‘luck-shot’ in a ‘place’ where you have ‘Money’. You’re in a ‘Casino’. Now you’re a ‘little-picture’ walking around Here – is ‘Happy’. With a ‘Smile’. Is that ‘really’ the ‘Case’? It’s Not. ‘How’ ‘Far’ are you ‘going-to-go’ to ‘Expose’ the ‘Matter-at-Hand’? ‘How’ ‘Far’ are you ‘going-to-go’ to ‘Make-Sure? Because, unless one take this ‘Matter’ to it’s ‘Conclusion’, there is a ‘Problem’, isn’t it?

 

You have ‘no-option’ but to take this ‘Matter’ to ‘Conclusion’. To ‘bring-about’ a ‘Directive Structure’ within ‘Matter’ that ‘Matters‘, for ‘Everyone’. And that put ‘Matters‘ in this Reality, in such a way, that ‘Everyone Matters‘ – Equally. That should be the ‘only-thing’ that ‘Matters‘, until it’s ‘Done’. Nothing else is ‘really’ ‘of-any-matter’, is it? Everything else that ‘takes’ one’s ‘attention-away’ from this ‘Matter’ = is ‘Deliberate Deception’. One should ‘treat-it’ as-’such’. ‘Focused’ on a ‘Solution’, in-’Matter’, about ‘things’ that ‘Matter’, to ‘all Parts of Life’, ‘Every Being’, ‘Here’.

Once this ‘Matter’ is taken-care-of, we will have a Reality where things ‘Matter’. That will be ‘quite nice’, isn’t it?

 

So – Let’s ‘sort-out’ the ‘Matter-at-Hand’.

Bernard Poolman – May 24th,  2010

 

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207. Changing the World in Self Interest

 

Continuation of the Elite Character – Self Interest when wanting to ‘Change the World’

 

Now from the personal interests and keeping ourselves in a position of current benefits, we jump to also another aspect of self interest which, as I had explained in the previous blogs, has to do with an inherent desire to get to a position of power/ recognition by becoming some form of libertarian to society, while earning money and living quite ‘well’ within the system – not to mention how I would mostly be only speaking about it but not doing anything practical about it. This is the substantial aspect that we can all still see around us: many people becoming ‘aware’ of change and wanting to ‘change the world’ but how much of that awareness is in fact practical to do create a tangible physical reality that can be best for all? Only by promoting social equality or justice within the context of my understanding back then would have lead to another revolution wherein further conflicts ensue without any actual change that would lead to a realization of how it is that Money is the current point that is required to be changed/ reformed in order to establish any form of change in this world. I was only looking at governments back then, people in it, and all the entire world-system as just some type of ‘evil’ that I was absolutely a victim of. This is where the trick resides here, how we have always separated ourselves from the responsibility of what is here and rejoiced in being able to point fingers and even Drive other beings to become aware at the same level of opposition and lead them to further ways to ‘escape the system,’ of which I am also responsible for and have walked in self forgiveness throughout my process, because I also led people to further irresponsibility and opposition within my apparent ‘clarity’ about reality, which was, once again, only stemming from my desire to place myself as this righteous benevolent person that wanted to change the world and bring ‘social justice’ while neglecting my own responsibility within it. How easy, isn’t it?

In reality, we have realized it cannot possibly as easy as that, it cannot possibly be just a matter of ‘letting things run  its course’ and be asking for change while even desiring to get further recognition for being a ‘voice for the people,’ while maintaining our own benefits and being deliberately oblivious to how we were ‘good for fighting’ against the system, but not at all even being aware of how our own self-interest was still stemming from not being willing to give up our ‘little bits of heaven’ in order to dedicate our lives to an actual change, because we weren’t even aware of what that implies.

 

So, this is how at Desteni we are aware that social, political and economical change is required in order for the World to change – and that cannot exist if there is no Education for human beings in order to realize to what extent the configuration of this reality – including the ‘opposition’- was part of a greater scheme of enslavement of which we are all equally participants of by the sheer fact of being here. This implies that the first step is taking Self Responsibility of what we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become and within that, become part of a group that promotes Self Responsibility in order to establish an actual change and reform to the current system, while realizing that it is not about ‘opposing it’ nor spiritualizing the entire process to a heavenly experience of ‘self change’ either – it is rather a realization of practical steps and considerations that one must be absolutely willing to walk as an Understanding and Realization of what must be done, instead of it being just another activity to make oneself feel ‘better’ or ‘good’ or aim to get to some ‘higher position’ within society, which would absolutely go against everything that we stand for which is Equality as Life, as physical beings that decide to stand up and take responsibility.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ever think that wanting to ‘change the world’ was going to be a nice, blissful type of experience wherein I would be able to maintain all my benefits and even earn ‘more’ by promoting ‘change’ in this world, which is the entire personality of how I wanted to obtain some form of reward/ benefit from doing something ‘good’ to society, which reveals to what extent we have never been self-willed beings but have only regurgitated the same words and desires to ‘do something’ about reality, but never even questioning why we, people with certain amount of money, were wanting to do some ‘change’ just by promoting it, without understanding how the system works and how the actual change entails money and entails a process of participation within the system, not outside of it.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to desire ‘world change’ and expecting it to just ‘happen’ by a sudden realization of ourselves human beings being willing to just ‘do something about the world/ ourselves’ which was quite an ignorant desire from my side, mostly relying on an spiritual type of agenda that I also participated in, wherein I believed that somehow everything would be aligned to a ‘wonderful outcome’ in the end, and this relying on how brainwashed I had always been to believe that ‘in the end everything will be just fine,’ becoming a comfortable belief-system and ‘certainty’ within me in order to just continue pursuing my own position of promoting ‘change’ but never even looking at the actual root/cause of the problem in this world system, which is Money.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create an entire character within myself of becoming an opposition to ‘the Elite’ once that I realized my own position and the self interest that I was living in, without realizing that I never actually stopped being part of the people that have enough money to eat and be educated – thus, I only ‘changed my mind’ about money, but I never changed my actual understanding of how it is that money works, how it is that no matter how much I pretended to ‘care’ about others as long as I remained oblivious to myself, my own self-change as an actual introspection and investigation of my life to see where and how I could in fact contribute to a world-change based on what’s best for all, I simply was projecting a desire to ‘change others’ / the world without having to look at myself, because that would mean then that I was in fact not ‘right’ and within my own mind: I was absolutely ‘right’ about what I was aiming to do and be/ become, neglecting the fact that I was also absolutely responsible for everything that I was pointing fingers at within this world, while still remaining under the protective shadow of having enough money to live well and still manage to criticize the system with no further solutions other than opposing it and ‘asking for change’ to the ‘authorities.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect things to always work out ‘just fine’ in the end when embarking myself within a process of becoming an antagonist and opposition toward the world system, wherein I essentially would only take pride of being an ‘aware being’ and ‘not being brainwashed,’ developing a constant anger toward society, media, people in general, without realizing that the actual point of change and real awareness that I was missing was myself, first realizing how I am equally responsible for this world which is ludicrous but, I never even considered how I was responsible for this entire world’s situation and that me and my desires to ‘change the world’ were coming and existing from the self-righteous belief that I had nothing to do with ‘what is going on in this world’ and that I was only a ‘victim’ of it, without realizing how this became my own protective mechanism from realizing how we have all contributed to the current state of the world by the mere fact of existing, by the mere fact of using money and by the mere fact of believing that we had some ‘higher purpose’ in life and that my ‘higher purpose’ was linked to becoming ‘aware’ and be the ‘world changer’ personality, from the starting point of opposing the system, not realizing that I am in fact one and equal As the system and that the system is ourselves.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to change the world from the perspective of the Enlightened Self Interest, wherein ‘in the end’ I would also get a higher position after such apparent ‘world change’ which is the motivation that I had been conditioned to follow through as part of the entire process of ‘getting to a higher position in society’ while wearing a ‘world peace’ banner in my mind in order to justify the means to my projected ‘success’ as in doing it for a ‘good cause,’ which in the end is no different to any other job/ position that is intending to ‘do well’ and most likely only remain as a ‘promoter’ instead of an active participant within the system, working on a solution that will certainly not allow further elitism in society or any other vainglory form of personalized benevolence but only the realization that we can only thrive as humanity when all beings are equally supported. That implies that:

 

I commit myself to walk the process of realizing how any form of world change cannot contain any form of individual self interest to get to a ‘higher position’ at all, as that would obviously imply that only the same system that allows such ‘superiority’ would be reinforced with another mask of ‘change’ – an actual consideration and actions toward world change imply doing it from the starting point of realizing how we are one whole as one organism that can only continue living if we regard all parts/ all beings as equals – this implies then that only equal positions in society can exist wherein all people are equally supported with money to live, with education to understand how we can all practically become self-responsible beings and within this, understanding how money can only be valued as life in order to maintain such well being in society, wherein a form of sickness/unbalance to the organism can only exist if one single part is desiring to get ‘more’ than the other part, which is then another form of Self Abuse that must be understood as such and not any longer as Success which is how we’ve been currently brainwashed to think ‘power’ is.

 

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135. ‘The Secret’ CULTivates Narcissists

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept the pursuit of happiness as a normal human being’s purpose in life wherein one’s empowerment as money – more than the necessary one enabling relationships, properties, top executive jobs and all sorts of benefits in society – is actually revered and venerated as if it was an actual God that we are praying to and praising, making of money our god – yet we disguise this blatant cult with words like success, fame, fortune, dream life and roles/conditions within society such as nobility, royalty, presidency, top sports players, magnates, riches and ‘influential people’ that can only exist in such titles as an example for billions of human beings that seek to be in such a position as well, without realizing how ludicrous it would be to in fact sustain a life of ‘the rich and famous’ for 7 billion human beings.

Thus, I realize that what is required is an actual wake up call to expose how such ideal ‘happiness’ and ‘well being’ based on the standards of what a rich/ famous person is, is in fact unsustainable and the actual glorification of abuse, as if we were able to in one single moment become aware of how many people have suffered, been killed, abused, chronically suffered through the creation, manufacturing and production of our entire ‘civilization,’ we would probably start regarding wealth and fortune as an actual point of abuse instead of blindly and foolishly praising it in separation of ourselves as life.

When and as I see myself wandering off to the life of the rich and the famous and start wondering how ‘great’ it would be to have all that money – I stop and I breathe – I realize that such images and stories of having all the money are actually systematically conveniently propagated and are specific/ strategic ways to imprint desires, wants and needs within regular slaves/human beings so that we continue working ‘as much as possible’ to someday eventually (in our dreams only) get to such a position of power and fame, glory as all the money that we believe is the actual point of ‘happiness’ in our world.

I commit myself to expose how the lives of the rich and famous are actual strategic points of propaganda to keep capitalism and our current life-style of seeking fame, fortune and glory in place as the ultimate bliss, which is then recognizing the point of abuse it represents to present a life that is in no way LIVING but only consumerism equated to fulfillment unattainable by all human beings equally and that it is thus in fact an insult to present such outrageous fortune while blindly believing that all beings can ‘climb the ladder of success’ toward such fame and fortune within the current monetary system.

I see and realize that it is only through looking at the ‘reality’ of our desires, wants and needs that we become aware of how we have participated in creating desires, wants and needs that in no way represent an actual Living Condition that Supports Life/ living, but that are only make-believe realities as the products and activities that are related to us aspiring to be and become part of ‘the elite’ that we see on TV, that we see on magazines and that we are enthralled with within our current societies wherein media is telling us what to do, what to eat, what to wear, who we should date, what to vote for, what to diss, what to suppress, what to embody, what to think and what Not to think through imprinting fear toward the most basic questions that every human being should ask themselves, such as HOW it is that we have created the current monetary system as a god that is not readily available for all to dignify all beings’ lives?

 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to never question the seeKing and Chase-ing of positivity in this world as a point of abuse, due to it being perfectly ‘normal’ for any being to seek self’s own ‘well being’ through asking to an energy/god/saint/the universe for that which could mean happiness/ joy point, which is actually using money as a point of abuse to acquire yet another point that can only be conceded/ given if it is taken from others in fact, which is how the Law of Attraction actually works like.

I realize that the sheer acceptance of only a fraction of human beings existing in this acceptance of their ‘pursuit of happiness’ as an actual living-purpose is what must be exposed as the popular accepted and allowed abuse within humanity, as this is the way that we have made of narcissism an apparent disorder that can be named individual self interest due to the extreme care for one’s own well-being actually existing as a  ‘normal thing,’ in our society, being entertained with all things positive that one can consume in order to ‘feel great’ while 3/4 of the Earth starve to death every single day.

When and as I see myself accepting positivity and positive thinking as a ‘normal thing’ in our reality wherein it’s seen as ‘something ordinary’ that people want to succeed in what they do and what they dedicate their lives to – I stop and I breathe –  I bring myself here to realize that such attitude is actually the building blocks of a delusional world system, wherein any positive experience cannot exist without abusing thousands of beings, which includes everything that we virtually have as a commodity in this world system at the moment, simply because we have not yet become an actual living being that cares for life in equality, but only seeks one’s own benefit at all times, regardless of who has to suffer the consequences.

Thus, I commit myself to expose positivity as an actual abusive thinking pattern that has been blindly accepted, followed and bought within society because of the amount of money it also produces for the world system – thus it is to expose what a closed system of wealth it represents when only a few can aspire to get to/ obtain such point of success wherein education, money, and having at least a middle-class position is what enables you to seek after things like ‘The Secret’ and any other wishful positive thinking, without considering how everything that one asks is in fact manufactured, produced, distributed and sold within a world system wherein Money in itself as the current monetary system is the actual structure of abuse of which there cannot be in any way a possibility to ‘succeed’ without abusing others.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept the ultimate self-importance and individualism as an actual ‘self-care’ wherein in fact I only cared about ME-me-me and my position within this world system being secured through money as long as My-Needs are fulfilled, without realizing how this apparent ‘self-improvement’ of the individual through wishful thinking, positive attitude and a ‘clear vision to the future’ is nothing but white-light rubbish as words that rub the ego the right way in order to create an imaginary sense of well being, wherein the very backchat/ thoughts in the head as internal conversations become also part of the character that sustains this positive-beingness of only seeking to get the rewards, only seeking to be granted with ‘the most cake,’ granted with the ‘most important position’ in a job, granted with all the money in the world with which we can ‘make our dreams come true,’ never questioning how this ‘may your dreams come true’ attitude represents doing just that: manifesting an imaginary dimension of our minds, using an also imaginary point like money to in fact create a righteous ‘right’ to use the resources of the earth, the people and the entire structure in order to Only satisfy ourselves –

I realize that this makes us ALL Equally Responsible for what is existent in this world, just by the fact that we have all sometime wished something ‘good’ for ourselves while neglecting the rest of the world and its actual situation of absolute lack, famine, violence, abuse and extortion that reality is currently existing as, wherein money became our security veil that will certainly not be sustainable for a long time now.

I commit myself to expose self-improvement as the search for success, positive thinking and positive attitude as the most EVIL tools ever provided to humanity further separate ourselves from one another, creating the ultimate competition to get the jackpot within following ‘The Secret’ that we foolishly accepted as ‘real’ without pondering how it is that people in the Elite would actually allow this point to come-through with such as if it was in any way real – Thus, it is to expose this ‘get rich quick’ lifestyle propaganda as the totalitarianism propaganda hitting human’s buttons that read ‘searching for happiness,’ in order to accept the current monetary system wherein ‘all dreams can come true’ through maintaining and sustaining a system of abuse such as capitalism, wherein the platform to only support/ grant such ‘big prize’ is available for a few only, which means that The Secret as the Law of Attraction is in fact like a light that attracts the moths to their death, as there is no way in which such happiness as ‘all the money, fame, glory’ is able to exist for all within the current configuration of the world-system as money – yet there is another way

The solution stands clear: we must create a world-system wherein Everyone’s Lives can be in fact glorified, dignified and enjoyed through a monetary system that ensures the access to the Earth’s unconditional resources in an equal manner, as that is the actual way in which True Happiness can emerge in this world, where all men regard each other as equals, wherein all beings can finally live and experience the ever longed-for Heaven on Earth that has been broadly promoted, while it is the ultimate Scam in religious and New Age movements with the infamous name of ‘ascension,’ without realizing that such Heaven is no more and that all that is Left is Life on Earth to be equalized through an actual political and economical reform, wherein all that is here of the Earth is given and distributed equally to all beings in it.

 

This is then the real Law of our Being that must be realized and understood as the Only way in which Our lives can continue existing – thus it is to transform that selfish narcissistic Self-Care/ Self-Importance to an actual SELF that considers/ regards all beings as one and equal.

I commit myself to be the example of how Life can only thrive if living in Equality beginning with ourselves

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61: The Stoned Philosopher

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ever believe that Alchemy was ‘the real deal’ within reality to obtain the ultimate knowledge wherein I could finally obtain ‘the truth’ and be enlightened through knowledge and information.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to justify the lives of suffering and ‘misfortune’ as ‘lessons to be learned’ wherein we had to first reach our lowest bottom to then rebirth from the ashes like a phoenix, and in this allowing me to use all knowledge and information as myths and gnostic meanings in order to make sense of life, without ever pondering that life has always been here as myself, as my physical body that I used and abused in order to obtain some ‘higher knowledge’ that could lead me to ‘the ultimate power’ as eternal life, which I now see, realize and understand cannot in any way exist as a piece of information at all.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to indulge in the ‘spiritual entheogen exploration’ wherein I believed that seeing the patterns on everything and dancing on the walls was really being seeing life moving and dancing for me, which I had kept as a memory that I didn’t want to ‘let go of’ because of how wonderful if was.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that I was special because I could see all of these patterns, figures and energetic experiences that I have defined as ‘blissful,’ while having no idea whatsoever to what it actually implies to Live, which has nothing to do with any symbol, any pattern, any thought, any feeling or emotion – but self, here, stable as the I that stands aligned as a physical being that is no longer crucified by knowledge and information as the mind’s experience seeking ‘life’ in knowledge and information generating experiences that are finite and induced just like any other drug-related enlightenment.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ever believe that the truth of reality could only be accessed through knowledge, information or chemically induced experiences wherein everything that I saw was only myself, my own mind and in no way was I actually ‘being here’ as the actual realization of who I am as one and equal as life, but it was only a temporary mind-experience that lead me to seek further into knowledge and information, missing out the basic point which is: not having to ‘seek’ something outside of myself to live, but rather stopping the constant thinking, believing, perceiving, mind chatter and be here, breathing, being still yet self directive which is what I always overlooked when it came to seeking ‘enlightenment,’

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to seek enlightenment as a way to evade taking Responsibility for myself, my world, my reality because I thought that through my own purification,  I would have an ‘easy-access’ to life, eternity and all the blissful experiences I sought – never taking into consideration the totality that is self-here as one and equal, but only minding my own business, only being concerned about ‘my’ experience only, which is the ultimate form of selfishness and self-interest that all-seeking spiritual people are currently perpetuating and feeding as themselves.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become obsessed with alchemy, its symbols, its illustrations and the depiction of the ‘majesty’ of life after walking a process of self-purification from the nigredo, to the albedo to the rubedo which is what I sought to be and become ‘no matter what,’ wherein I neglected at all times the actuality of the world that is here, wherein billions are having no means to eat – yet there I was, wanting to ‘ascend’ and be a super-consciousness being that could ‘the pattern of life’ which was only the patterns of consciousness itself as my own mind, reminding me that I have enslaved life to a pair of figures and symbols in an attempt to live.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become infatuated with knowledge, believing that ‘I was on to something’ and I was ‘this close’ to ‘get it’ wherein the chemical marriage implied that I had to fulfill a ‘journey’ in my life that was related to higher knowledge, higher understanding that made ‘me’ special and ‘unique’ because I felt as if it was ‘calling me,’ when in fact, it was all self induced and learned from examples in popular culture, just like from Jodorowsky and other ‘masters’ that I would read in order to make ‘my own religion’ based on personal self-interest to ‘be one with God’

 

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to seek God in patterns that I could see with my physical eyes, seeking god in the ‘abject,’ seeking god in Hebrew words, symbols, alchemical terms and trying to find a meaning to life, without ever realizing that life has no meaning but is and exists in itself –

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to deposit my attention to ‘wonderful words’ that would mean something ‘too cryptic’ for me to understand, which made me want to understand and study more to be this ‘erudite’ in the matter, which would apparently make me ‘more’ than myself which is how intellectualism operates: the more you store as knowledge and information, the more ‘valuable’ you are in a system where life has been sold in the name of money, which provides enough ‘power’ that creates self-importance.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that my life was being ‘tested’ by life itself to see whether I could find and get all the clues to ‘get to god/ life/ eternal life’ which is how I became rather obsessed with numbers, religions, alchemy, gnosticism, tarot and anything that could ‘guide me’ to understand who I was and what I was doing here, following a self-importance journey to ‘enlightenment’ that only existed in my own head, feeling like John Nash having an entire conspiracy in the head, watching Pi and the Holy Mountain wherein I thought I could find ‘the meaning’ to it all.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that the symmetry and composition in a work of art was pointing out that I was trying to ‘give myself messages through images/ drawings’ which is nothing but the ultimate mindfuck that I participated in and created for myself, wherein I believed that I was drawing out my past lives and pointing out to me ‘the road to follow’ in this lifetime, which is nothing else but the product of knowledge and information that I used in order to make myself special, ‘unique’ and somehow more ‘powerful’ than the rest of the mortals because of having this ‘unique’ fascination with ‘all things divine’ which was only me in my mind seeking some grand entertainment to evade my responsibility in the world, evade actually planning a physical tangible practical living plan that I could use in order to LIVE in this physical reality, but instead being planning ‘who I would be’ once that ‘I’ve reached the ultimate step of enlightenment’ on Earth.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that smoking weed in any way was ‘opening consciousness’ and allowing me to ‘see more of reality’ which is one of the justifications I used to not give it up at the time.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that all bits of experience, all people, all events had a meaning in the puzzle I was busy building as my ‘spiritual journey,’ without realizing or even wanting to accept that I had created it in my mind all the way, and I was just giving more attention to that which ‘fascinated me,’ rather than toward that which represented facing myself, facing my own responsibility and getting to know my own mind as the real creator of this extensive mindfuck.

 

I realize that I used and abused my physical body in the name of seeking ‘life’ outside of itself as knowledge and information, which proves to what extent we have never even questioned the fact that we are not even aware of every breath that we take, of every single piece of the Earth that we consume in order to continue living and the processes it goes through in ourselves, IN our own physical body – it is ludicrous, yet we are here and walking the process to stop all mind-curiosity toward ‘elevated/ higher/ drugged knowledge’ that has had In No Way any consequence to life.

 

I realize that my initial ‘Love for Knowledge’ as philosophy, as the desire to ‘know more’ was merely self interest, and that my knowledge became my own cross to bear of which I now take Self-Responsibility for, because I am realizing the simplicity of who I really am here as the physical body that breathes and is able to exist without experiences.

 

I commit myself to share my process with anyone that is currently ‘in the journey’ to enlightenment or any other form of spiritual endeavor, to share with them how I have realized the mindfuck that it all was while abusing the physical body, the physical reality and neglecting the actual problems on Earth while seeking my personal satisfaction fueled by chemicals, thoughts and experiences that only made ‘one’ special, while disregarding the rest of the world as equally HERE as ourselves.

 

I commit myself to establish myself as the physical body to ensure that I am no longer bound to the memories of that which I perceived as blissful as all the experiences induced by chemical reactions that I equated to ‘god’ and ‘enlightenment,’ which would have been rather addictive if I had not stopped right away – thanks to Desteni because that’s the only way I realized what I was in fact doing to myself.

 

I commit myself to expose the fact that no knowledge, no special gnostic information,  no alchemic process will create LIFE as Life is already HERE as each one of us, wherein all that we have done is veiled it through further knowledge and information, instead of realizing it as who we are, here as our very physical body that is not bound to the mind’s processes to exist.

 

I commit myself to expose the desire for enlightenment as self interest as that continual desire to be ‘more than’ who we already are here as physical beings.

 

I commit myself to continue walking my process of writing, applying Self Forgiveness and Self-Corrective Application to ensure that all knowledge that I had used to define life is purified and equalized as Self, wherein there is no trace of greatness or ‘grandeur’ existent within and as myself, but actually walk the process to let go of this energetic fascinations that I had been so keen toward.

 

I commit myself to reveal how no enlightenment or spiritual endeavor creates an actual physical change in the world that is visible to ALL or creating any form of best for all outcome, but is merely self interest linked to money as that state of ‘happiness’ and ‘bliss’ that can only be obtained as an experience whenever your stomach has enough food, your body is properly hydrated and your environment is safe and secure from ‘the evil’ in this world that is created ever moment that positivity is sought and pursued in this world.

 

We Must Stop.

 

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Allegory of the Cave: our excuse to remain as slaves

 

The fact is that we come into this world without having any idea of ‘Why on Earth are we here’ becomes our drive in this reality. We then equate living to achieving goals, having a family, becoming successful (rich) – becoming a ‘winner’ in everything we do, following a single ‘dream’ without really questioning if such ‘missions’ or goals in life are actually what we are here for.

 

The accepted idea of us coming from a state of ‘forgetfulness’ and coming here to get back to ‘remembering’ something is already placing a massive condition to ‘who’ and ‘what we are’ from the get-go. This ‘forgetfulness’ must not be understood as ‘getting to complete ourselves’ here on Earth, but getting to realize how it was a deliberate plan to enslave man to always want to KNOW and Never Live.

That’s the key point of this here and I had to drive around in circles to get to the following: Life is Not Knowledge

 

Man Know Thyself

 

Getting to know yourself implies getting to see how we function within ourselves – the relationship toward our own mind – as well as the relationships we have formed that we have called ‘Life.’ If we have a look at it, the law of our being is currently compromised by money and the delusion of ‘power’ – we have then created our own cave wherein we have delegated our power to play only with shadows, believing that those that cast them are ‘more than ourselves’ and even separate from who we really are.

The fact is that we have forgotten to ‘know ourselves’ as the understanding that: we have set the rules of the game, we have cheated ourselves into believing it was never our ‘creation’ and that we could blame some ‘God’ for it.  It is now our turn to establish some basic living-conditions that will enable Life to flourish where there has been none, previously.

 

“God is really all people know and then this is called Man know thyself –that should be Man know thyself as Life” – Bernard Poolman

 

What Plato described as ‘Real Knowledge’ within this context would be knowledge that can be lived as living-words that stand within a practical realization of what Life is and can be lived-as in this world. This is now re-defining the usual philosophical rhetoric that never lead to a tangible and useful ‘use of words.’

We have lived ‘knowledge’ in a separate realm within our reality.

Equating enlightenment to the ability that some ‘privileged ones’ have, as passing on knowledge to the ‘ignorant ones’ already places an unequal starting point within the game. The Lie that is accepted and allowed is that the world of ‘ideas’ is what is real, when in fact we words not lived have been a primordial separation from what is here as the physical reality.

 

If we take the Allegory of the Cave as an example to illustrate this, the Prisoners of are set ‘by default’ as the natural-condition we are born into – yet we invariably created at some point that is ‘not remembered.’ We get to this reality wherein we are placed to race within this ‘game of life’ to attain nothing else but Knowledge that will apparently ‘set us free’ and give us an actual realization of what ‘Reality’ is.

 

Who are then those that solace themselves casting the shadows of a make-believe reality for the prisoners? We all are.  Even before that! Why on Earth did we allow ourselves to place us in such a position as  ‘prisoners’ wherein some others would be casting the theatre of shadows ?

We did – in our attempt to be ‘more’ than the rest – self interest which later on was capitalized as seeing everything with eyes of ‘personal power’ and a strong desire to obtain anything and all that could fulfill a sense of ‘freedom.’

Once we start asking the pertinent questions to everything we’ve bought as our ‘reality,’ we’ll start really taking the illusion of the shadows and the light of knowledge for what it is: our own knowledge trap that would perpetuate ourselves as prisoners wanting to ‘get out of the cave’ through attaining this ‘ultimate knowledge’ which leads to a perpetual state of ‘happiness’ and ‘everlasting grace.’

Nowadays we call this process the pursuit of happiness.

 

The fire is specific – light as enlightenment that only a few can achieve if having enough money for it.

 

Anything that could have bound us to keep facing the wall of shadows as some invisible force as the White Light as God, as Consciousness, has been debunked. 

 

What is left then? The ingrained idea that what we are doing here as humanity is seeking ‘God,’ seeking Knowledge, seeking ‘The Truth’ that will ‘Set us Free.’

 

So, we direct such myths to explain our current reality to a point of support.

 

 

We Cast the Shadows

“So what we see and experience is not necessarily real, yet we give existence to anything from actual structures to thoughts, concepts, ideas anything possible by our human mind. Existence is that which we give existence to and as – becoming that which we experience ourselves within and as..”[6]

 

The reality of the prisoners was depending on the shadows casted by those set as the shadow-creators behind the prisoners. In our reality that role is performed by those with enough money in the world to dictate the rules and the reality: politicians, corporations, bankers, elites as families and sects that were deliberately placed in this reality in order to maintain ‘God’s order.’ The fact is that till this day, they are seen as the ones to blame for our current status of the world – we never realized that they are also part of the game and that in fact, we have all accepted and allowed it in an equal manner.

 

This makes us all responsible because, what is money but knowledge imposed onto this reality as an ‘unchangeable’ and ‘unchallengeable truth’ – it is our own deliberate system of separation to make some remain facing a wall with shadows while others had the light to cast the show. This is allowing some to remain as the directors of the game – apparently – as ‘more’ than those who remained ‘tied and bound’ to facing a wall as prisoners – they never could realize each other as equals. We have accepted the shadows to be as real the same way that those that were deliberately and placed in the position of ‘casting the shadows’ believed themselves to be in control of this existence. The fact is that not even the creators were actually ‘in control’ of what is here – Life is directing now.

 

 

At an individual level we create this ‘wall’ in front of us as well, whenever we keep believing that the shadow we see in front of us is ‘everything we are,’ we see ourselves trapped and enslaved by this self-image/ self-idea, without ever questioning why on Earth are we even bound to this cave-reality with shackles that can definitely be taken off if we all agree it IS what’s best for all to Live.

 

See, this premise of the ‘prisoners’ in reality is that “original sin” that we have believed we must ‘pay for’ and this is something that could not have been understood until now that we get to hear from our Real ‘forefathers’ where and how and why we are here on Earth. [2]

 

 

Within identifying the shadows as knowledge, as all the ideas and systems imposed onto this reality, we get to see how we are directly responsible for perpetuating and accepting this reality ‘as is,’ because it was all we had ever known.

 

We just ‘can’t’ remember that we created such forgetfulness in the first place, and this is where the importance of studying the Desteni material exists. We would not be able to tell the ‘truth’ of reality as is without having the ability to ‘know’ beyond our own mind as that only instrument of cognition within this reality. That is through the Interdimensional Portal which should already be regarded as a once in a lifetime opportunity for humanity to see and understand what we have become, why are we here on Earth, how is it that we have created this world in separation and from there, while being able to understand and educate ourselves about the actual process of Creation. We have been the Gods we have blamed for our current situation in the world: we have set the rules all along.

 

 

Out of the Cave into Reality

because we created it in the first place

We are all responsible because we all accepted and allowed even the creation of allegories and mythologies as plausible and ‘credible’  explanations to our own deliberate separation, to justify our beliefs, our spitefulness toward each other in disregard of the whole. We created our own demise through accepted and allowed separation from each other as words– we tried to make sense of this world through knowledge and information and forgetting about the reality that has and always remained here.  [2]

 

Without understanding HOW we created ourselves as the reality that each one of us is constantly living and playing-out within the context of replaying the past, present and future, we will remain holding on to this shadow-like reality wherein we can only complain, feel miserable about the idea that we accepted and allowed ourselves to actually become.  It is through our very own participation in the constant and continuous thinking and communication based on this idea of being ‘separated from source/ left by God,’ that we began creating these words as ‘who we are,’ as prisoners that have been forever cast out from the realization and living experience of being one and equal.[3]

 

What are beliefs but words that are taken as ‘truths’ that eventually become part of our self-definition, it becomes ‘who we are’ without questioning it further.

 

“We are as real as what we have allowed ourselves to become as this world– the world being a system expression equal to our minds –we use our minds to create all the machines and technology–our minds interdimensionally actual looks exactly like the systems and machines and TV’s and computers we have in this world–that is our apparent evolution — the externalization of the mind into form — the next stage is the mind becoming actual physical form — this will be really tough to live through — prepare yourself effectively as all sentient life will face this in all ways” – Bernard Poolman

 

 

This is how we are walking a process of placing out the ‘truth’ of ourselves as thoughts, ideas, beliefs and perceptions of who we are, what we have become through our own accepted and allowed thoughts as patterns that we have continued playing out as ‘who we are.’ This goes from the micro to the macro – each self-belief as the self-religion that we have bound ourselves-to has become our own self-created cage that we feel we are betraying every time that we dare to equalize ourselves as God, as everything that is Here. How ludicrous! And some of us have gone to the extent of blaming a ‘god’ or some other beings in apparent  ‘higher positions’ for this separation, without ever actually realizing that: we did this to ourselves, I did this to myself, by a single belief in Separation.

 

 

Knowledge is ‘God’ and ‘God’ became an excuse

The words that created such separation as a belief became ‘our law,’ it became almost like ‘the word of God’ that no one ever dared to question again.

Knowledge is separation, words not lived are all lies told to justify our irresponsibility – we’ve knitted our own blindfold to remain in a victimized state within this world, feeling like the prisoners seeking to get out of the cave at any cost – even if that means enslaving our lives to menial jobs that could at least ‘shed some light’ to our day to day experience as temporary energetic fixes like fixating on love, happiness, bliss, light, money… Is this Living? No! Absolutely not – can we stop and change the current accepted reality? Of course we can.

Knowledge has  become our very own trap as the elaboration of words that could justify our deliberate belief on separation from what is Here. Knowledge became the words that we speak, the words that we have perpetuated as ‘who we are’ which is what is currently being taught as our philosophy, religion, morals, cultural values and mythologies wherein the role of ‘God’ is the utmost separation toward all humans[4].

 

‎”Spreading the word of God is equivalent to spreading a message of terror – the fear it creates makes humans blind to reality.” 
– Bernard Poolman

 

It is madness to see how a single be-LIE-f has separated ourselves from Li(E)Fe through believing that only through a process of enLIEtenment we could ‘attain’ the truth of ourselves once again. Knowledge and information as God, as the ‘law of our being’ in absolute discordance to the reality that is HERE and has always been here.

In essence this is us showing/ revealing to ourselves how it is that blaming and projecting our own misery, feeling ‘enslaved’ to this world is a self-created belief that we then formed as ourselves as the physical reality we live in now, creating the idea of the ‘original sin’ that we then would have to redeem ourselves from.

 

“We are the Living-Words that has become Contaminated by the Knowledge we have Accepted.” Bernard Poolman [5]

 

We are here to establish the living principle we have neglected while following knowledge. We have been ‘separated’ from reality, never realizing that such separation has been self-created and never inflicted by a higher-being. We must now as a matter of self-responsibility make sure we dissect all possible separation that is now ingrained at the systematic level of our reality – as our laws, policies and values that are embedded on to anything as a price tag.

We have justified suffering and abuse through our own elaborate words as knowledge. Who is the real ‘evil’ in this word then?

It’s time to take Self Responsibility for our creation, it cannot be ‘clearer’ than this that it is us the ones that have played the joke on this existence.

 

Seek life–dump knowledge–who you really are created knowledge–let your creation not be the controller of you as creator”   Bernard Poolman

 

 

Sources:

[2] The Cross’ – Atlantean Interviews through the Interdimensional Portal. Desteni,  2012

[3] The Decision’ – Atlantean Interviews through the Interdimensional Portal. Desteni, 2012

[4] ‘The Friction’ – Atlantean Interviews through the Interdimensional Portal. Desteni, 2012

[5] Poolman, Bernard. “Knowledge.” Bernard Poolman Quotes. Desteni, 01 Mar 2012. Web. 1 Mar 2012. <http://bernardpoolmanquotes.wordpress.com/2012/03/01/knowledge/>.

[6]  “What is existence?.” Desteni. Desteni, n.d. Web. 1 Mar 2012. <http://desteni.org/a/questions-and-perspectives-what-is-existence>.

 

Suggested Read:

Poolman, Bernard. ” The Age of Knowledge – The Point of Consciousness and The Power of Now.” Desteni. Desteni, 21 Aug 09. Web. 1 Mar 2012. <http://desteni.org/a/interviews-from-the-farm-23-the-age-of-knowledge-the-point-of-consciousness-and-the-power-of-now>.

Poolman, Bernard. “’The Secret Knowledge of God’.” Desteni. Desteni, 18 Dec 09. Web. 1 Mar 2012. <http://desteni.org/a/interviews-from-the-farm-42-the-secret-knowledge-of-god>.

“What was the White Light and why did it exist?.” Desteni. Desteni, 2007. Web. 1 Mar 2012. http://desteni.org/a/questions-and-perspectives-what-was-the-white-light-and-why-did-it-exist.


How I was able to Hear Desteni?

This wasn’t planned at all, but on a day like today January 29th but in 2008 I stumbled upon my second Desteni video which I got to finally watch. I was alone at night in my apartment and ready to get back to school in the following days, while continuing a process of being longing for a change in my life in a desperate manner.

The months before Desteni – and my entire lifetime if I could say so – I searched for answers that I could not get in encyclopedias or my dictionary. I sought into the occult and mystic realms another form of ‘knowledge’ that could make any sense to all of this ‘life’ of mine of which I was losing my ground on. I was absolutely enthralled with spirituality, the idea of ‘God’ being everywhere, us being god, being one, seeking love, wanting to ‘feel love’ and within this getting quite a burnt perspective on reality which lead me to follow certain ideas/ beliefs of myself having this benevolent mission in life that I had to seek ‘guidance’ for in order to ‘fulfill’ it.

At that time I was questioning myself extensively. I would write about losing the ‘meaning’ of who I am and how I had to go back to memories to remind myself ‘who I was,’ yet at the same time not believing that all I was is this ‘so-called lifetime’ as I wrote. I had been interested in how everything develops/ works as a process in life and this curiosity is what lead me to research on various topics like religions, philosophy, mysticism which included alchemy, magic, esotericism, kabbalah, Sufism and the list goes on with various ‘isms.’ I mean, I tried to get a hold of each thing to see what ‘suited my interests.’ Now we know that religions are designed according to people’s minds and cultural lifestyles which now makes me realize how it is that I couldn’t ‘fully identify’ with any of them. I wanted to ‘make my own religion’ as a syncretism of all of which I could find ‘supportive’ from each one of these religions/philosophies/ practices/ cultures, etc.

I’ve been quite fond of writing and I had been doing it for 8 years by that time wherein I wrote “I know the writings and the essence of my thoughts are creations.” Yet all of this I would still link to the idea of ‘enlightenment’ which is essentially what I was seeking at the time. I also would feel like ‘death’ was around the corner – yep, it was the death of me as who I had believed myself all the time.

I’ll share my exact words on the first encounter with Desteni written out in the evening of January 29th, 2008:

“So I saw this girl from Desteni bringing Ian Xel Lungold who is the man that got me investigating about the Mayan Calendar. So I thank him, now I know what goes one a bit more. . I mean, it’s really tough when you truly think of it, but it is completely plausible as I’ve been in touch with such things since I was a little girl. I was brought up with the belief in spiritualism. Basically my whole life has been based in their beliefs.”

Then I describe several events that I used as a form of believing that spiritualism was real as in ‘real life events’ that supported me to believe in it. I proceeded to write hours later – I apologize for the sketchy and jumpy type of enunciation, but I was mostly on weed all the time and I would write in a rather messy way, yet I wanted to share it as ‘raw’ as it is, this is to clarify that the words might not be well suited to describe ‘Desteni’ yet it was how I grasped it at the time.

“It’s 11:05 and I come here only to make or point out the fact/ statement that a whole dimension of who I was has been completely/ almost shattered today. Something beyond here and there changed my mind. So the channel (portal) can be applied to Einstein, Tesla, Marilyn Monroe, Dimebag Darrel I mean, everyone. So there goes this manifestation… It is beyond all schemes, I couldn’t have (illegible ‘thought this’) not even in my wildest dreams. But seeing Kurt Cobain speaking through a blond woman makes you wonder how you really haven’t (illegible) on stuff, even more when we’ve certainly felt like I didn’t belong here. The idea of good and evil dissolving, I hadn’t thought about the idea of god and it makes me wonder. We are our words and I allow myself to forgive myself for ALL and for it ALL. Each pinch of doubt, fear, insecurity might come from my pre-installed system as it feels odd to be coming out of the end. […] So it’s been a long, long day filled with truly, this time TRULY unexpected information, therefore I’m grateful and I’ll try to begin acting as one, being honest with myself as the very chains of reality, this shadow world comes to a transformation from the core. I want to assist that change.

I’ll try to watch them all (videos.) Lots of good vibes. I thank everything until now for I am indeed now aware of my own nature”

And that was the entry for the day. The real ‘shift came through the writings two days after I spent all my time watching videos while having the last days of vacation from school.

The following pages contain very ‘powerful’ realizations that I would like to share here in a summed-up version of entire pages wherein I expressed how excited I was and all that I was ‘ready to give up’ for this process. I’m even a bit flabbergasted myself to see how immediate my decision was to HEAR – and this is all mostly because of seeing the common sense in having to be the ones that cut the chains of our own shackles in this world.  I’ll transcribe a bit here:

“It’s the last day of the first month. It could officially mean that it’s the end of my vacation time and all I can realize is that all my life could be thrown out the window right now because my belief systems have fell and with it, many things I became a part of. I saw each system demon come in and talk about polarities, beauty, addictions, god, trinity, everyone, everything. And this made me ‘feel better’ like I have a solution to the possible outcome of it all. I heard LaVey saying who he’s is/was a demon and he’s in the dimensions observing how humans go to heaven, their heaven once they die.

So me and that LSD experience. I won’t ever do that again as I must realize what I saw was still the product of our mind. I am really curious about Gurdjieff and his afterlife. He says he was erased from Earth because he realized true awareness of ‘I am.’

So really, it is a BIG change for I now know my thoughts, feelings, emotions are part of the system I am. This isn’t really me, we’re covered in bags of skin with huge egos while thinking about success and happiness in the system. I don’t know what I’ll become or what will actually happen after this whole breakthrough. I really feel I want to quit it ALL. I mean it. So, words are me.

Really this is the end of our world as we know it, really. What will come is our Self Realization through the destruction of our systems/demons and I feel think 2012 will be only a shifting time for all of us to save Mother Earth and become Aware, not saved as Jesus (through the Portal) said, but become aware that I don’t have to worship anyone […] Therefore I won’t be experiencing the unity as I thought. It’s good I’ve got a record since 2000 of my life, so now I will consider, re-consider it all…”

Feb 5th and my world was falling apart already within my relationship in terms of how I began sharing about Desteni with family and friends in a rather enthusiastic manner that didn’t suit their scheme of who I was/ what I was supposed to be. Here I share something of this day

“I’ll be like the temperance so I may have time to realize how we exist through relationships. It can’t make me sad anymore, it’s a fight against my own mind. That is judgment day, is here for me, it’s beginning. I do not believe in anything outside of myself anymore, no more religions, no more surrendering to a higher power. There’s no such God as we are god ourselves. All of us, we just have to realize it.

[…] The deal with it all now is becoming my words and it requires subjugation of our big egos towards unity and equality. Will that ever happen? All my beliefs on 2012 are awaiting (in relation to a final ‘end of the world as shared in previous blogs) In fact I like the idea, but what kind of seems torturing is the fact that there’s no solution, there’s no going out of it all forever.  […] It is fascinating I know I’m not alone, I’m not a stranger, I’ll rather try to burn my ego down to ashes and let the true me get out. I won’t hold on to things as I realize how everything is constantly moving. What’s real? I don’t know. And I’m glad I’m not into a relationship anymore.”

And now I remember how initial ‘doubts’ on Desteni were triggered by others in my world – though common sense was undeniable:

“What if Desteni is actually a conspiracy? Well I don’t feel so, it’s not nice to think that all the books I recently bought are nothing but fantasies either, yet they can be so. Music is a system, art, expression, feelings, so what the hell on earth can I do? I’m just waiting, TELL ME! I have no desire whatsoever and it might be really bad/ good whatever. Everyone… So I sometimes wonder… maybe I could be very useful on heaven here on Earth… I have not bought my life yet but I’ll be patient. I’m doing my effort and placing my endeavor towards – not what is called enlightenment – but the truth of our essence. There is nothing to be scared of but of ourselves. So here we go, that’s it. I will not think of anything but forgive myself and I walk for this is all I got now, somehow.

I will trust them this time for it makes complete sense to me. I want to thank Jack and everyone out there in the dimensions who are currently coming to us (through the portal) in a specific moment of our lives. We can’t deny this, we’re in this together, all of us so we might as well hurry, we are aware of this now. That’s why maybe we all felt our worlds crumbling down for some time now, we didn’t know the dimensions were actually struggling to take out all the white light system. So, we were enslaved, huh, who could tell? To me it isn’t much of a new thing because I’ve seen everyone and I know I feel their whatever they are feeling and I’ve always felt weird whenever a young kid approaches me to ask for money or anything. How odd really, we don’t have to ask more. I will continuously make my endeavor to stop the mind. To know who I really am and so, If we are all gods, we better make up to our own nature. Nothing is sacred anymore but all of it together. So that’s about it. This is the real change.

Then the ‘crisis/ breakdown’ came wherein I started digesting more and more of the material, yet it was a necessary process as we all walking this process know and have experienced at some point in our lives/ process.

“So today it wasn’t such a  great thing going back to school. I know it was going to be mad, I couldn’t really sleep that well, I kept wondering about many things and I had goose bumps, very intense ones so I hope today I find a reason for that. If there’s one, Maybe I’m going through a deep crisis indeed, I need help.

Self Honesty, using common sense. I got a message from Andrea at Desteni. I feel great I know and them, it’s great. It has helped me a lot.

My world is really falling apart, it consists of my beliefs, thoughts, that includes all the stuff I used to cling to. There are no more chakras, there will be no more reincarnation as Buddha (through the portal) wrote – so what happens then? So I’m guiding everyday towards equality and it’s hard considering life in this city which is hell. Art is even nonsense now.

Everything up to where we are now makes no sense. There’s no ‘white light’ anymore so we’re on our own. This will be a major shift, I might as well sell everything and go for a ride. But I enjoy myself here I am now. And I’m thankful for it all too. No matter what, I’ll be a ‘stop the mind freak’ if it’s necessary for me to be so. I’ll quit weed if it’s needed, I’ll do so. I believe I was like a heretic or something (in a past life belief), I believe I stood up for No God in other lives and now I returned for a while as a god conceiver, a ‘god seeking person,’ a mystic which is the ultimate enslavement by that of ‘surrendering to a higher power’ – God! I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to think of a higher power other than me. I am living my words so I make it happen. If I need to quit my friendship, I will only if required. I hear my blood streaming. So this is where we got to. It is now, the apocalypse (revelation) is here slowly but surely. The revealing. I am all, I am alive. My blood is pumping.”

The following days I continued describing all the series of realizations with regards to what and who I had become, I realized that I was fooling myself by using weed to ‘cope with the message’ and eventually stopped it, the same happened with my relationship as I saw for myself the deception it was and how it was not supporting myself to walk this process.

I found it cool to share these thoughts straight from my notebook as ‘who I was’ 4 years ago wherein I was waking up from a slumber filled with ‘positivism.’ Desteni became that final and initial point to a process of having sought for a ‘solution’ to this world and having sought for a ‘way out’ of my own ‘chains,’ I saw the common sense in having to become the solution in this world once that I realized there was no God. This proves that I had in fact deposited faith on some benevolent being eventually being able to ‘save us.’ Now I know that it is definitely not so and that we are here, walking our process of self-revelation as the realization of who and what we are as one and equal which is not nice or pretty and implies taking Self Responsibility: an actual understanding of How we have created this world and walk through the Manifested Consequences in/ as our world.

Common sense could not be denied and I walked a process of shedding off my beliefs and embraced the new way wherein Forgiving myself was the way to stop participating in delusions like god or having some form of ‘guidance’ above me to become this ‘enlightened being.’ It was very supportive to get messages from people at Desteni when I did ‘seek for help’ as I was going a bit crazy with all the material. It only lasted a couple of days but what I got really allowed me to settle down and assert myself to walk this.

I eventually walked through the entire breakdown of crying and thinking that I had ‘lost myself’ but it was only beginning to step out of my religion and realizing that I could not continue as the ‘me’ that I had lived as until then.

Now I’m here, I did finish school and I’m actually in that point again in my life where a cycle is about to end here and a new one will begin. I can’t believe it’s been 4 years already yet it is so and we continue walking here.

All I can say is to be patient with yourself if you’re beginning this process, takes time to walk through one’s mind as thoughts, feelings, emotions and the rest of our reality within writing and applying self forgiveness, we’re all still all walking it as well.  I see how the commitment to be part of this process of Equality and Oneness was almost an immediate decision, because I had sought to be part of a change that could give a ‘meaning’ to my life. I realized how I could make myself the point of my existence and within that, make of my life this instrument to transform and establish a system that supports all Life.

Desteni is the process to get to live in this world. It might have come in the ‘weird’ presentation of a portal with all of these fascinating messages that made all sense to me. Yet the process of walking it and applying it/ living it became that single ‘point’ in my world that I required to realize that I was in fact able to become that which I saw  ‘knew’ we were even if it was in the back of my head. I was able to finally get the ‘reality check’ that I required to see how deluding myself with god and spirituality had been in fact neglecting my reality. The breakdown that I described was precisely because of realizing how I had been living in a bubble of positive thinking while abuse, suffering and violence was everything that was creating and making of this world such a fucked up place, all of it beginning within our very own thoughts (!)

Witnessing that through documentaries and videos we would get on a daily basis by Bernard, allowed me to open my eyes to the reality I had neglected. This was probably one of the key points within my Desteni-process wherein I started looking outside of myself to a reality that required to be exposed and shared to see what we are accepting and allowing to exist in our world, our creation. And with that, create and stand as the necessary solution that we are now presenting and walking as the Equal Money System.

Some lines in those journal entries contained some lyrics by John Frusciante that I wrote and seemed appropriate for this point in my life:

My life goes blank
Life was never what you thought.
Life was never what you saw
The lights go out

I dared to turn off the light and face the reality of what I had become, I wrote that it was ‘painful’ but understood why I required to walk this process and committed myself to it fully.

I’m grateful as I’ll always be for being here, being able to share my story today after 4 years of walking this process, between hell and Earth and back again, facing the nitty gritty details of myself that I would sometimes get embarrassed to even expose to myself. All of it I’m able to Self Forgive and prepare myself to be the point that takes Self Responsibility, that does stand up to create the necessary system for all of us to live as equals.

If you want to read more about my process, check out the archives now available in this same blog in the year 2008.

We continue walking. Thanks for reading.

Watch the vlogs on this topic here:

2012 Walking with Desteni: Why I could Hear the Desteni Message – Part 1

2012 Walking with Desteni: Why I could Hear the Desteni Message – Part 2

First note when watching Desteni 2008

First notes while watching Desteni, January 30th 2008


The ‘Feel Good’ times

I fooled myself so many times trying to seek something of ‘meaning’ and ‘value’ outside of myself that I ended up looking for ‘something’ that could make sense of this world in almost every single religion, philosophy, gnosticism, physical practices and anything that I could use as a point of giving myself some meaning and purpose in a world where nothing made sense to me.

I got stuck into spirituality for quite a while using it as a way to not face my physical reality while placing all my attention into that which I thought was ‘real’ as the intangible realm where the “true self” existed – quite a paradox in terms of the definition of reality, yet I tricked myself very well into my own belief systems.

I can read my writings from that time and they are all filled with words that could be nice enough to sell hallmark cards. I hid behind words that sounded pretty enough to be  a constant attempt to speak like walking poetry and in that, becoming another brick on the wall of the false-portrayal of what is here as this world, becoming comfortable in sugar-coating this reality. I hid behind knowledge that made me feel special, superior, ‘all knowing’ and almost ‘too good’ to be in the physical world.

I thought of my body as a cage and in that, I did nothing else but separating myself from it further and further, keeping myself busy in my mind, building up a personality that I could present on to others as ‘who I am’ and be excused for not fitting in, for having this ‘kind-hearted’ way of being wherein I saw myself as a living tarot card, a ‘guide’ of sorts or a guru living in the modern times just so that I could be and remain  ‘special’ for those people in my world who would also support this mindset of mine.

I dug the nice spot I built for myself: thinking positively, seeking love, talking about the realm of the intangible and trying to find some freedom from this ‘oppressive world’ through following my greatest excitement. I made of my life a series of self-created fleeting moments and coincidences that could keep me trapped believing that all of it would make sense someday, that I was following a certain pattern as one of the many life lessons that I had to fulfill to eventually complete my ‘mission’ in this world. Yes, no different to being playing  a a game of sorts. I got to be quite obsessive about numbers, names, people, ‘meant-to-be’ experiences in my reality, books, pictures – I was thinking my reality through a filter of some ‘divine hand’ guiding it all. I never realized I was doing it all for myself in fact.

Apparently, god’s mission for me was being nothing else but a fucked up energy interrupter that could go up to the ‘highest excitement’ and then drop down to the deepest pit of denial and misery wherein I would mostly seek to get back on top again through self-created experiences.

Fascinating that I sought people that could feel exactly the same way I did, so that we could all delude ourselves into a comfortable foggy existence wherein we could agree that ‘the world is fucked because there must be a reason for such people to suffer,’ and where karma became the most comfortable belief I took on to not feel ‘bad’ – or even daring to think of myself as responsible – about seeing poor people on the streets.  I would say to myself ‘They must be paying some bad actions from a previous life, they are not only ‘there’ because of this world being fucked, no. There is a higher reason and purpose for it.” Yes, it could be embarrassing to share this but I’ve walked through the points so I’m simply sharing them as they were – no strings attached as I can only recall the general aspects of my reality back then, which was subdued not only because of all the belief systems I was integrating within myself, but because of the daily habits of seducing myself into the realm of the intangible where I could justify it with artistic explorations and solace in the multiple coincidences that I could take on as ‘signs’ indicating that I was on ‘the right path.’ A bunch of crap obviously.

Hiding in spirituality was a great thing for the sake of keeping an acceptable personality that is pretty noble and smiley and seeking beauty all around – literally – that made me popular in my family for a while, lol. What no one really knew is that such happiness wasn’t the ‘naturally good spirited me,’ it was self induced by means that are not necessarily endorphins or a genuine sense of self fulfillment, but more like in a sense of fool-fill-ment through smoking weed as that was the only way that I thought I could ‘get to understand’ reality, that I could be relaxed and enjoying while making of every moment like an episode in a life-series of events wherein I would eventually finish the ‘quest’ by obtaining some type of ‘superior knowledge’ and become super enlightened and be blissfully happy ever after. All of it was a major reverend fuckup.

Now, I’m not recriminating this to myself, it’s taken me years to be able to be writing this out the same way that I could write about my day today and how I got partially intimidated when walking past three older males wherein I realized oh fuck I’m still reacting to seeing men walking down the street with certain aspects that I could consider ‘attractive’ – you know? that type of experiences that are just like regular for human beings lol.

Why I’m writing this today is because I tend to create some type of self-evaluation according to the time of the year. 4 Years ago around these days I was into conspiracies and pretty much starting to believe that something marvelous would happen in ‘4 years time’ and that we were only waiting for it all to unfold in such a nice and blissful way that it would blow all our troubles away, and wash our suffering with some type of magical dust that we could snort and be eternally fulfilled with.  Yes, that’s only an exaggeration of how I thought of this world and reality back then.

Though it was actually through conspiracy theories that I started stepping out of the usual mysticism I had cultivated and getting into knowing the facts that I had absolutely dismissed my entire life. It was a time where I began being ‘afraid’ of the unknown once again because of seeing how there were all of these secret societies trying to control the world and how we were only puppets putting up the show while others moved the strings at their will. Once again, we got really into it and spent several days researching while having our usual past-times doing the regular stuff like ‘being creative’ and pondering about our ‘meant to be’ lives together. Yes I’m talking about the friend/partner that I’d spent almost my entire day with.

One night we actually stumbled upon a Desteni video, a Hitler’s video yet we only saw the beginning as the entire breathing in out freaked him out and took it as a joke. I wanted to see more but, hell, I was quite a submissive one back then and wasn’t  in my full senses either to be self-directive enough – so I complied and allowed the point to just ‘sweep away.’ We really got ourselves into this weird mind state wherein we thought we were discovering the greatest secrets of the world at last, we went around the reptilian point several times which was something that I had definitely considered as a nice myth to entertain humans and nothing else. We all now know how that went  on in reality.

I started getting more interested in meaningful dates and years like 2012 and the mayan calendar which was explained by Ian Xel Lungold while he was alive, and I certainly got hooked on his explanations about it. I devoured his lectures, so I sought for more and in doing that, bam! I found Desteni’s videos on the mayan calendar with Ian Xel Lungold from the afterlife. That was the first video that I saw, I got so excited I texted my mother about it, I almost pee myself out of the excitement as it was just mindblowing for me to be having such characters speaking through the portal. Again channeling was something ‘familiar’ to me, so I didn’t even question that point at the time. I proceeded to register at the forum and began my daily marathons of watching all the material while rolling a joint for the sake of ‘being able to handle the truth.’ It was quite a nice timing as I was completely alone in my apartment during the winter break of my second year in art school. I never thought that my life as I knew it would change forever from that day on.

After 4 years I am grateful that I found Desteni right before I was going to be really screwed-into spirituality and other forms of ‘enlightenment’ or training myself to be some kind of healer, tarotist, or a plain deluded mystic while pretending to make some type of art that could be ‘sacred enough’ to awaken other human beings. I realize I cannot judge myself for all of this because they were all steps that lead me to where I am now, which is still here and facing myself, taking self responsibility which was a non-existent point before this.

It was 4 years ago that I tried my first acid and with that, I thought I had discovered the reality that I had sought for such a long time, everything fit and I felt just like a guru that ‘hits home’ at last. I felt special, I felt that I had to recommend that to everyone – and in fact I did – that was the only thing I required to experience to see that there was ‘something else’ that I was being subdued from. In a way it was an experience that lead me to see a bit beyond my own limitations, so all in all they were part of the game and I took the experiences as part of the same bridge to get to this point.

Now after having told the nice side of story, let’s get the points cracking. I essentially used spirituality as a form of superiority where I could have some sort of ‘control’ over this reality through knowledge, never ever considering that I was actually supporting the entire enslavement of this reality just by keeping myself well deluded in spiritual topics. I neglected the entire world, I could only ‘feel bad’ about other people’s situations, yet saw myself as too incapable to do something about it. That’s how I would feel when watching all those conspiracy theories and such, I saw myself as incapable of becoming a point of change and I only saw ‘spirituality’ as a potential way to solve the problems of this world. It’s not that I never really ‘cared’, I did, but didn’t care for myself and didn’t even consider that I had to first accept and support myself as the individual that I am. I was seeking so much ‘outside of myself’ that I was completely neglecting my own life and reality which is what we now know is what must be taken as a point of Self Responsibility before anything else.

That’s how I began walking this process, as awkward as it was to sit on my bed and beginning to read Veno’s self forgiveness statements as a training point to see how to do it and how it ‘worked.’ From that moment on, it’s been a process of learning through trial and error which is what this process is about. We’re not wanting to keep everyone of us in a certain type of confinement, we actually learn through facing our reality while having the support and necessary tools to see how we can direct ourselves in a way that is best for all.

And for this and many other reasons I’m grateful for finding Desteni, this is just one of the main aspects of it which is stepping out of my habits/ addictions and faith in the spiritual realms. I instead realized I had to do this for myself and this was probably the most valuable point anyone could have ever let me know about.

Thanks for reading and visit the desteni forums to check out what I’m talking about.

personalmythology


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