601. Power Plays in Social Contexts – Back To Self

Or how I became part of a ‘power play’ in a group of people with body language, what I discovered about myself and what I learned from this experience.

Following up with the previous topic on arrogance, I mentioned another situation that I didn’t get to write out where I noticed such form of arrogance or superiority within me in a particular social context.

I was talking with a few people the other day in a reunion and suddenly a ‘new person’ that I’ll call ‘A’ came into the moment and stood around where we were talking, like joining herself into the ‘circle’ and something quite interesting happened. She wasn’t introduced or anything, she just said hi and stood there. The rest of us were ‘into’ a certain topic already so I noticed that I was kind of ‘side-viewing’ this new person that I didn’t know of before, so entirely ‘new’ within that context but! I also started registering (as in becoming aware of/assessing) her body language which I interpreted as showing lack of confidence, being insecure, feeling inferior, somewhat nervous, feeling uncomfortable in the moment.

Now these are mere assumptions based on how I saw that she was kind of hesitating to look at either way, she was grabbing her neck and looking at us in a certain way that I could interpret as ‘feeling out of place’ in general, which I didn’t even think of in that moment in my mind. What follows is how I reacted/acted out based on all of these ‘insta-interpretations’ of person A, which is how I made that conclusion that she was feeling out of place, uncomfortable, insecure, feeling ‘inferior’ etc.

Here looking back at the situation, what I am not at all considering is how it is quite ‘common’ for most people to go through that initial experience when being introduced to new people or a new situation, it’s not like everyone feels ‘immediately comfortable and at home’ in any new environment or with new people – that’s a simple fact of how we current live our lives. Sure with time and in this process it becomes ‘easier’ to face such kind of contexts, but I’d be full of myself if I would not admit that I also go through this kind of immediate moments of getting somewhere new, with new people, new ‘things’ to interact with and can go into an experience of ‘not being at the level’ of everyone else there, which one kind of goes working through as moments go by and we make a decision to settle in or integrate ourselves to the moment/situation, but that initial reaction to ‘the new’ as in new people, new situation, new environment is quite common and I definitely have to remind myself of ‘been there, done that’ and understanding the experience, reminding myself of my process, which is an act of humbleness – now, why do I say this?

Because I noticed how as I was ‘assessing’ this new person, for an instant in my body language and how I experienced myself was within a decision to ‘ignore’ her, to kind of go into the opposite experience to what I perceived/believed her to be experiencing, so in a way playing out the polarity of what I perceived her to be. Therefore I became more ‘secure, confident, at ease, superior, dominant’ in my expression in that moment, which translated into not really making an effort to open up with her in those few minutes that this play out lasted.

However within this process of self-awareness, I had to be honest with myself and noticed what I was doing in that moment towards her, and that’s when I thought ‘Why am I deciding to ignore her?’ and so immediately directed myself to ask her about what she does and how old she was and then it turns out she immediately opened up and got more comfortable after we started talking directly to her, and she expressed how she’s seen me around and was in fact quite an open and comfortable person right after that, lol! I had to eat my perceptions and initial reactions to the person out, because she became quite ‘relaxed’ in her expression and giving details of her work and stuff like that. It was altogether possibly a 10 minute interaction, which became a cool moment overall for me to assess why on Earth had I decided to Ignore her in those first few moments and play out this ‘superiority’ stance of ‘I ignore you, because you are feeling ‘uncomfortable’ within yourself…’

Of course here I take full responsibility because I have no way to really in fact say ‘Yes! She was feeling awkward and inferior and insecure at first’ – it was all my interpretation and perception. And even if she had felt in fact that way, I can move to UNDERSTAND the person’s experience, which comes within a humbleness of considering all people in the moment equally, consider them as in placing myself in their shoes to realize ‘Hey, they are new into the moment, let’s integrate them into what we’re talking right now’.

The word as the solution that came up within me this morning as I was looking at this point, which I’ve been assessing over these last days in fact, is Equilibrium. Wherein in that moment of the conversation I was being suddenly too ‘unilateral’ to only talk to the people that I was already having an ‘oiled’ conversation with and that I’ve generally become quite comfortable to talk to, and how the dynamics changed within me when this new person came into the scene and how that immediate reaction at a physical level was that of seeing her as a ‘foreigner’ so to speak, as ‘not belonging’ to the circle of people in that moment, just because of being unknown to me, just because no one else came to ‘introduce her’ to us, but she just arrived and said hi.

What would be the common sensical thing to do in such situations? Say hi and in doing so already ‘making space’ in the moment to ‘open up’ an include the person in the conversation, can say something like ‘we’re discussing this/that, have you had anything like that happening to you?’ – or maybe if that’s too ‘soon’ to get ‘too intimate’ lol, I can pause the conversation I was into for a moment and rather proceed to ask a few questions to get to know a bit more about the new person, make a space for her literally and communicatively speaking, because I realize that if I place myself in her shoes – which is the point of understanding her and her position – I would also like to be welcomed into such moments and be integrated by those that were already there and ‘established’ in the situation.

In fact as I write this, I remember feeling exactly like I perceived this girl to be ‘feeling’ in such situation, memory is quite old, over 10 years ago where I’d be commonly going into new places/environments and people’s homes on a regular basis with a friend of mine, and I actually admired his capacity to ‘feel at ease’ in all of those new places – actually the same person I referred to in my previous blog – and how in those situations I kind of stood in the background ‘doing my thing’ like keeping quiet and mostly observing. However the people that were in such places were generally quite kind and welcoming, which made me realize that ‘people that don’t know you can be kind and open’ just by having a similar ‘linkage’ like a friend in common. And that’s then how one of the words I’ve been practicing living and that I took form this person in my life is that ability to be expressive, comfortable, ‘at home’ in all of these new environments, which at times I would ask like ‘hey how long have you known these people? And he’d replied, I just met them now for the first time! And I could not believe my eyes, because he was generally quite open and at ease with them, to which people responded with equal comfort in their expression, that was quite something that started debunking my very ingrained ‘elitism’ I’ve grown up with at home, and I’m glad that I continue debunking the moments where this same very old pattern rears its head.

So that gives me another clue to see how I could recognize her experience based on what I have in fact lived in the past as well, and how I played out ‘the opposite’ in a way to deny my own discomfort, lack of confidence or inferiority that I sure have experienced in social contexts like that before in my life, and probably around her same age, so it is a point of arrogance really to pretend that ‘I’m always been this confident, this sure of myself’ because I’ve definitely not, and moments like these are here to remind me to not get ‘too high in my arrogant horse’ but be humble, understanding and grounded towards myself and others equally.

I have been looking also at the responsibility that we hold to each other to truly ‘do as we would like to receive’ and in that, it’s kind of astounding how it took me a few minutes to actually step out of my ‘high horse’ of ‘I am ignoring you because you seem so unsure of yourself.’ This pattern is something I’ll be looking at to see how I can in fact be so unsupportive towards another that is clearly ‘new’ to the situation and could rather use some support to be integrated, to do what I can to make them feel welcomed into the situation. That’s just basics of what I consider is what I’d like others to do for me in the same situation, without doing so from the starting point of judging her as ‘oh she’s looking so out of place, so insecure, gotta make her feel like at home!’ because then that would be playing out a polarity and that’s not the point either.

It’s basic stuff to live and act on the decision to include or integrate the other new person in the situation and in that also assist myself to stop these very embarrassing to admit type of patterns of essentially playing the ‘mean girl’ that excludes someone just because ‘they are new’ or ‘I don’t know them.’ I mean, this is how we limit ourselves in our minds so extensively, where we create our own comfort zones where we dislike having anyone/anything ‘disrupting’ – apparently – a moment with people that one has already created a comfortable expression with.

Though, I see how I have played out this same pattern in various contexts before, even with just another couple of people – meaning 3 in total as a social context – where I had become quite inconsiderate to others clearly showing that they were having a hard time about something, which is not cool at all. And this is part of applying the equality equation, not creating ‘preferences’ over people – which in my case is preferring to be with those that are open, assertive, showing confidence, enjoyment, comfort etc. – but to be the one that integrates everyone as part of my moment and my attention in the moment as it is doable and realistic to do, like in this kind of small reunions and having new people arrive and integrate them – was definitely doable and so I did.

To me it also speaks a lot of the ‘trigger’ point for me which is seeing someone that I perceive initially to be inferior and insecure – because a few moments later on another guy joined in for a moment and his attitude was completely different, very ‘open’ and kind of busy doing his own thing so to speak – and here I’m only comparing objectively my reaction to that person B as the man/guy that came into the conversation for a moment – I didn’t have such reaction at all, but rather crated an interest in knowing who he was and what he did etc. Maybe it also had to do with him being introduced to us with more words, but even so, I consider that my initial reaction had to do with how I ‘read’ the person as being more secure, more ‘socially oiled’ so to speak, lol.

So here as much as I’ve laid out a common sensical way to understand people in such contexts and even if I perceive another facing the usual reactions that can be triggered when being in a new environment, I can take responsibility = take part in it and start talking to the person, that’s the easiest way to integrate myself to them and them to the moment, to become part of the conversation – because that’s what I now remember assisted me greatly when being also a young girl hanging out with ‘older guys’ which we were in this context and person A was a relatively younger one.

As for my own pattern of going into superiority or a deliberate ‘ignoring’ of those that I perceive are having a hard time with themselves – specifically within the context of perceiving them as inferior or unsure of themselves – I have to deliberately step out of my superiority stance and comparison which exists in the form of ‘I am better than you because I feel comfortable and confident within me and I can see you’re not, so I ignore you’ –  yikes. I know this can be shocking for some, it has been for myself to realize it exists within me, but as with anything: reacting in judging myself for my own ‘body language’ and this type of ‘invisible communication’ being ingrained in how I behave, speak with others is definitely not the way to sort things out.

In this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to in moments where I’ve noticed other people having a hard time integrating, adjusting to a certain social context or conversation, and I go into the assumption that ‘they are feeling less than, insecure or even ‘intimidated’ by me or others in that moment’, I have to stop, breathe to bring myself back to considering the person, to realizing that If I am aware of what they might possibly be going through. And so the way to break the assumptions and the ‘spell’ of this ‘tension’ that such situation creates within me and maybe even for others too, is by breaking the ice and talking to the person, to see what they are all about and get to hear their words, what they have to say – instead of going into assumptions, comparisons and power plays within such situations.

Here I realize that I have a responsibility to myself and others if I am in such a moment witnessing a situation where I can make a difference, such as I eventually did with opening the conversation directly to her and getting off of my high horse or arrogant stance and rather get to actually enjoy seeing her expression, really.

I am glad I moved into the correction after all, but to me those moments where I allowed myself to go into this ‘superiority’ is the point for me to become extra-careful of and aware of, because there were not even ‘thoughts’ as backchat towards the person, it was simply a body-language assessment I made of a few seconds that led me to then determine that I had to ‘over-play’ my expression  of comfort, confidence in front of her, it’s like a power game of sorts that develops in this kind of social interactions to kind of ‘show myself off’ to the person which in fact can only exist if I am still existing as any point of ‘fear of feeling the same way that I perceive the other person to be experiencing themselves as’ which means, fear of feeling out of place, inferior or insecure, which is the only way I can make sense of why I ‘emphasized’ myself in such way the moment I noticed this other girl’s initial attitude.

And as I said before, it was merely an initial reaction because the rest that unfolded debunked my initial perceptions around her, though I do ponder what if I had decided to ignore her completely all the time and not having given me the opportunity to get to know her? I would have then prevented me from meeting a new person, and that’s it, which is something I’ve come to really enjoy doing.

So the learning point of this story is to not allow myself to act based on this pretty fucked up ‘instincts’ that play out with body language, as actions or inactions, based on what I am assuming a person is like or how they ‘look like’ or how I am instantaneously judging them. I cannot continue existing in such prejudices, because in the end, not only would I become an ‘elitist person’ in my own parameters, but I’d also be preventing me from expanding to truly do onto others as I’d like others to do onto me, which in this case is applying and living the equilibrium, that equal consideration of everyone that is participating in a moment, because that’s the principles I am learning to live by and how I’d like the world to see everyone else!

It brought me up to seeing how at a world level this plays out for example with immigrants that arrive in Europe and how they are of course fearful, feeling insecure, helpless, sometimes coming with extensive traumatic experiences to get to where they are – yet  many receive them with superiority actions like ignoring them, seeing them as ‘less than humans,’ deliberately attacking them at times, playing out all forms of rejection which is of course only worsening things overall not only for that context, but for everyone else in this world that learns from those ways of ‘treating foreigners’ – and I realized that I was about to play out my own part in that same construct with a ‘new person’ in a social context… definitely not acceptable and not cool overall to do.

I’ll continue to dissect my experience and role within it all as there are ingrained patterns that need to eat some huge pieces of humble pie, which I’m going to be cooking in the next few days J lol

 

Thanks for reading

 

 

 

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572. Selfishness and Equilibrium in Self Creation

Or redefining selfishness

I am looking at this word with the purpose of practically using it as a way to integrate ‘me-time’ and self-consideration when it comes to day to day living activities where, as I’ve explained in the past, I’ve had a tendency to put-off everything that had to do with ‘me-time’ and self-enjoyment time and instead geared myself with the idea of ‘always having to be doing something I’d define as productive, of use to others, of benefit to others’ and in that, create certain satisfaction of yes ‘producing something’ that to my eyes and consideration is of ‘worth’ and ‘value’ based on the support It could directly provide to others, but in this, I was at the same time neglecting this me-time where I can in fact disconnect from everything/everyone and as this awesome recording Wanting to Get Away From it All – Quantum Systemization – Part 155 explains, have this time where one does something for oneself, for one’s enjoyment at least for an hour every day.

I’ve walked in a way quite a process with this, because I’ve made it a habit to go walking on almost a daily basis for almost a decade now and I’ve defined that as the ‘me time’ where I go out for more than an hour and get away from computer and my usual environment where I created that deliberately notion of ‘I have to be doing something’, which has been supportive over time and an enjoyable time.

However, there were other hobbies and things I previously enjoyed doing that I completely put off and stopped doing altogether, like arts – painting, drawing, photography – because of defining it as something ‘selfish to do’ because I deemed it as ‘not useful for anyone’ as in ‘benefitting them in their life and process’ which was the kind of logic that I’ve used for quite some time to constantly decide and assess what I ‘should be doing’ and in that, I definitely refrained myself many times from actually doing what I’ve naturally enjoyed doing for myself before, including reading, playing music which I have to be quite honest I haven’t done in a very long time.

To me this denial of doing that which I enjoyed became a definition of a ‘virtue’ as I explained in previous blogs, and in that believing that this was part of the process, to stop doing that which would give me some kind of enjoyment or personal satisfaction and only focus on that which ‘benefits everyone else’ in one way or another. However this is only at a mind level, because I definitely not only did that with my time in reality, I could have easily integrated this ‘me time’ or ‘selfish time’ while continuing doing what I was focusing on at the time in the past, but in my absolutism, extremism and ‘black or white’ mentality, I tended to completely ‘cut my arm off’ and believe that I just could not give me the time to do something that I judged in one way or another as ‘selfish to do.’

Now, where did notion of ‘having to deny to myself’ doing that which I would naturally enjoy doing and that I had judged as ‘unproductive, useless, good for no one’ led me? Well, it was leading me to a reality of not building anything for/as myself that I could genuinely call ‘me’ and ‘for myself’ entirely, in a way having this ‘selfish activity’ where I can not only enjoy myself but actually support me to transcend all of the judgments, denials, ideas, beliefs and even self-doubt and giving up experiences that I’ve imposed onto something as seemingly ‘simple’ as painting or doing any form of artwork.

So, it is so as the audio I mentioned above explains on how in only focusing on one’s work/responsibilities, on what we have to constantly be doing ‘for others,’ and not taking time for oneself,  one is actually missing out on oneself, not really getting in contact with who we are, what we want to do and in fact see what is it that I have left ‘behind’ in this notion that ‘I cannot be selfish with my time’ and have denied myself to do that I in fact enjoy and assists me the most in developing my creative potential as a person, learn more about myself and even assists me in expanding and growing, which I had completely forgotten about myself how dedicate and detailed I can be when doing something that I am enjoying to give shape to : )

Interestingly enough I had not entirely seen how my idea of giving up something ‘selfish’ was in fact also due to the various patterns that emerge within me when having a ‘blank slate’ and create something in the moment, which even as I write this there is this very slight movement that I feel on my forearms, almost like a physical remembrance of how I have to dare and make decisions to move, to do, to create something while facing the inner judge  where I would constantly say ‘no’ to what I defined as my ‘selfish desires’ and instead direct me to do something that I defined as more productive, of support for others, advancing work/responsibilities, etc.

So the consequences of not giving myself this ‘selfish time’ so to speak is, as I’ve been explaining before, that I did get to a point of feeling like there is something ‘missing’ in it all. One can be a very ‘responsible’ person for something set that we have to do on a daily basis, but one is not really developing, growing and expanding out of one’s comfort zone which becomes work, responsibilities, and the ‘daily tasks’ that are constant or ‘always the same,’ which leads to a dissatisfaction about one’s life with an experience of lostness of ‘where am I within this whole equation? Where am I going with my life? What is it that I am creating for me, for myself, that I enjoy and that is not related to constantly doing it ‘for money/ for others’? And that’s how I opened up the point of doing art again, because of the ‘conflictive’ relationship I had created towards it within myself based on this morality-eye of it being something ‘selfish’ for me to do, almost existing in a denial of enjoyment, of having this thing that I do for, as and by myself.

Another example is I thoroughly enjoy putting jigsaw puzzles together. In past years I’ve done quite a few, thousands of pieces etc. yet, I started judging it as ‘a waste of time,’ as something that is ‘insignificant to do’ or that doesn’t ‘benefit anyone else,’ and in that, have stopped making them, except for a time when I got sick some 4 years ago where I was ‘ordered by doctor’ to rest more, which was also the result of me taking a sudden leap of ‘taking responsibility’ for something in an attempt to ‘direct the ship’ in an unprecedented situation so to speak, which over time ‘led me’ but in fact ‘I led myself to’ have a form of burnout manifested in my physical body in quite an obvious manner. So that’s the time I last made a puzzle… so! should I wait to get sick again and be ‘ordered to take some rest’ to then ‘give me the permission’ to do something I enjoy/for fun? Hell no. It might not be ‘puzzles’ right now, but it sure can be something else that I enjoyed.

This also leads me to touch on the word ‘leisure’ as well because I’ve had a ‘no go’ relationship to this word where the notion of ‘taking time off’ or ‘vacation’ sounds good but it’s never a ‘full disconnect’ for me, and it hasn’t been that way for many, many years, probably 7 years where I had restrained access to internet in order to fully disconnect from everything. And, I discovered that’s where I then focused more on my relationships with people, on enjoying the moments with ‘doing nothing’ or watching others’ lives go by and what did I naturally geared myself to? Photography. Yet at the time, there was a constant nagging thought of ‘all the work/responsibilities I’m missing out on right now’ and ‘all that I will eventually have to catch up to’ which became a form of ‘anxiety,’ which is not cool at all. I mean, if it’s vacation, it should be full vacation, completely disconnecting, and I’ve sort of tested that recently though not fully to the point of not seeing my cellphone in one entire day. Not sure that will be possible either, or at least that’s what I think at the moment, yet even if it’s not a possibility for me to ‘fully disconnect’ for some time, it can be done for a couple of hours a day and stop having this ‘work, work, work’ mentality as well, which is in a way out of a judgment and fear of ‘not being productive,’ of not doing ‘something supportive for others’ or fearing ‘being irresponsible’ in the day and in that of course implying that I’ve valued what I do and am based on how it ‘relates to others,’ instead of entirely doing it for me, as myself, my decision, my responsibility and point of accountability, which is quite different than placing ‘others’ as ‘my reason for being/doing/living.’

What I just explained is the ‘selflessness’ that I have to turn into a form of practical and moderate selfishness of course – not going into the extreme – where the principle as Bernard Poolman once shared – paraphrasing – “if you are best for you, then you are best for all” which I ‘thought’ I was doing and living already, but it takes one good look at oneself to see how much I was denying, refraining or judging myself for doing it based on seeing it through the eyes of ‘selfishness’ while at the same time covering up the actual ‘uncharted territory’ that having this me-time in fact implies as an opportunity for self-creation in whichever way I decide it to be.

What does living a practical and considerate form of selfishness as ‘me time’ or ‘living for and as myself’ mean? Two things for me:  I have to be the starting point and origin of everything I do, to stop doing things based on morality of what’s ‘good for others’ and what’s ‘useless for others’ and secondly, make a self-honest decision about how I decide to spend my time, to distribute my responsibilities throughout the day in a way where I can also ensure I give me some ‘me time’ to do what is now a form of hobby yet also ‘work’ at the same time, and stop having what I believe are ‘others eyes’ on top of that, because it’s really only been myself and my own judgments towards doing something ‘for me’ that have limited my ability to actually do it, and nope this is not a self-victimization point because I am fully aware how I did this entirely for myself, ever since I was a little girl, having this ‘duty’ mindset as my own policeman in the head, lol which proves how I had to make of ‘school work’ also art work in order to feel responsible AND creative at the same time! LOL! That’s why I didn’t have an issue with ‘how I would spend my time’ back then because I linked both ‘responsibility’ and ‘hobby’ in one, which matched my workaholic personality,  yet I don’t need to place myself ‘in school’ to do the same and I’ve been implementing this for the past weeks with cool results in my scheduling.

This is another way of looking at living creative authority, where I decide to make changes in how I approach my life, my time, my responsibilities, my ‘me time’ and see how I do/how it goes as I implement and live these changes on a daily basis.

Sure, there are some changes on how I approach things thus far, a bit less with a rush of having to be ‘on top of all things’ and whenever I get to still do that, I am learning to check with myself to see if I am pressuring myself, to the point of ‘sacrificing’ something that I ‘really wanted to do for myself’ for the sake of ‘fulfilling’ certain ideas of myself through stuff/things that I would usually do, which I also know as a somewhat former ‘workaholic’ it becomes a very ‘justifiable’ comfort zone to not be with ourselves, learn to enjoy ourselves, discover who we are when having this ‘free time’ and our creative abilities in whichever way they exist in each one of us, because that’s what has been challenging to me, and to stop the ‘dutiful’ mindset in the midst of it all, therefore that’s a current walking process for me.

What have I found in this relative ‘short’ time of giving myself more time ‘for me’ is that there is a lively spark emerging in me, based on having a reconciliation with doing arts and creating a project for it in the long run, which is certainly something that I vaguely had ‘in mind’ since the beginning of the year, but now it’s definitely a more settled and ongoing path which required me to get things going in all practical ways, from making the space to do art and then actually taking the time of the day for it, which is great so far. Now! The point is to diversify it because, as I explained, I can become artsy workaholic LOL so, I’ll look at integrating other different things to do for myself, which is a walking process as I speak. 

Now what does that mean if I become best for me as a fulfilled individual that is not only taking responsibility for things, tasks, commitments ‘as usual’ but also takes the time for personal recreation and leisure and self-enjoyment? Well that’s definitely the kind of life that I consider we should all have where there’s an equilibrium in doing what we ‘have to do’ based on yes living in a survival system, requiring money and the rest of it – and also giving oneself this me-time which definitely assists in placing our lives/our ways/our paths into perspective and leaves space for creation, self-creation, creativity, recreation – whichever way it can be placed – which is a regenerative process as I see it, very necessary to be in fact self-satisfied, which will prevent me from getting to a point in life where I’m bitter, dissatisfied and believing I’ve done ‘so much for others’ but not really living my life for and as myself.

So! I prevent myself from doing that from here on and create an equilibrium in my day to day living, which means I become a ‘healthy’ person that is living in a world of yes responsibilities, tasks, commitments and ‘selfish time’ or ‘me time’, where I am a part of the whole that lives according to what I consider is suitable, healthy, balanced and enjoyable for/as life itself in this reality.  

Thanks for reading.

 

                                                         

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409. The Uncomfortable Truth

 

 

 

One of the reasons why this process cannot be done by ‘one individual alone’ is because we are very prone to creating our comfortable bubble where we believe that ‘nothing is happening, I don’t react, everything’s done, my mind is quiet’ and how else would it be if I remained in my own little world and my own little bubble!’ So that is certainly not walking process. Facing yourself as this world is not only facing ourselves in our own minds or as ‘the world system’ but facing each other as the mind we are and have become.

 

So, here I open up my recent reactions to the exposure of my own truth which is the state of the mind that we all have and how whenever someone dares to ‘show it all’ then I react ‘OH man! how dare that person do that!’ or ‘How can that exist within a person’s mind?’  which is all backchat that is in fact immediately dodging MY own responsibility to myself, my mind, my judgments instead of immediately reacting to ‘assess’ another’s mind/words/actions/behavior within me as the character of ‘politeness’ or keeping things in order and control, no different actually to how politics operate and I will open up this point of politeness and how it is in fact of course a façade and self-deception that as anything, can be walked through and rather turned into an expression of consideration, instead of a blanket used to cover up that which I ‘don’t want to see/face’ as myself which is essentially just postponing facing the inevitable which is the truth of who we are and have become as our minds, and so to not judge ourselves as the mind, but rather learn how to support ourselves, how to understand ourselves as the mind, how to self-forgive and so walk/live the corrections which is the real direction for self-change required here.

 

The most important thing within this is to realize that taking one’s mind or another’s mind personally is a reaction, it is of the mind and it is only perpetuating the same problem we have co-created because it is like realizing that one participating in one’s mind is like giving fuel to a fire. So, basic point here is also to realize that we’re all in a process and even if one is aware of the tools and ‘knows’ about the principle of self-responsibility, it doesn’t imply that ‘that person is going to take self responsibility’ or ‘is not reacting at all now.’ We are all walking through it and what’s more important: if I react to another and turn it as a point of having my expectations ‘unfulfilled’ it means that there’s a point of expectation that I haven’t really sorted out and a point of reaction toward words/actions that exist in one’s mind behind such ‘disappointment,’ and that because this mind exists within me and everyone, then it is my responsibility to actually take responsibility for it – No more and no less, no matter ‘who’ I believe is triggering an experience within me, I have to be able to stand absolute regardless of what is being said/done either personally or indirectly.

 

I realize that my responsibility does not extend only to ‘myself’ but others as well,  and that’s where I tend to simply think that well, I can ignore the person/situation and not make a fuzz about it – but if the person is already walking a process  and they are already working on themselves to stop the mind, then it is absolutely my responsibility to support another within my possibility and ability to do so,  as that is exactly what I would like and want another to do with myself as well, which is actually what I have lived through these past years of being supported as part of a group walking this process of unveiling the ‘uncomfortable truths’ of ourselves as the mind, that which we have kept secret and ‘veiled’ throughout time.

So here is a self-reminder how everything works in reverse in the mind: we have to be cautious when things seem ‘too stable’ or ‘not much happening’ and instead whenever conflict emerges to be grateful for it as it is unveiling an aspect of myself, of ourselves that we haven’t faced as is the case here.  

 

 

“The Human Being, being Sensitive to Discord, Disharmony, Disease – are very easily Motivated to Seek Out the Harmony within themselves as the Equilibrium of Multiple Systems, Interacting within Relationship of a Closed System, as a Balanced Perfection for the Sole Purpose of Keeping the being Engaged at All Times; to Seek the Equilibrium and to Keep the Equilibrium going, and where Mastery will be to become a Master of Love, and Stay within the Geometrical Equilibrium.[…]

This Principle has been Very Cleverly used to Keep the Physical Reality in a Form of Stable Control. With None of the Beings in Multiple Forms Realising How their Existence has been Systemized to be Followers of Reaction and Instinct. Followers of Pre-Planned Preprogrammed Designs, with Rewards along the Way when Equilibrium Spots are Hit within the Map of the Book of Life.” – Bernard Poolman

 

 

 

This is the realization that everything that I judge in another exists within me.

 

 

Continuing from:

• 408. Taking it All Back to Self-Responsibility

 

Self Responsibility and taking it All back to self at the individual level.

Based on the usual judgments I have created upon people that I perceive have something ‘wrong’ in them to, for example, be what I have defined as deliberately ‘evil’ or deliberately ‘deceptive’ or deliberately ‘conflictive’ and perceiving myself that ‘I could not stand such individual’ is demonstrating to me one thing only: where and how I have not yet considered such individual as myself.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from another within the consideration that if the person is too mind possessed, too conflictive, then I don’t want to have anything to do with the person, which is essentially playing what I had criticized in our society wherein those that were mentally challenging to society and deemed as ‘crazy’ or ‘too out of the loop’ so to speak, were exiled and sent out of the main centers of society, as they actually posed a threat to the order, the ‘system’ in itself which I also conceived as a reason to simply not have to ‘deal with’/walk with and actually learn how to assist and support ourselves as individuals that can be mentally challenging when it comes to how we operate in our minds.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become my own denial as in wanting to not face or excuse myself from having to confront/face a part of me as another individual that exists in fact in each one of us that have a mind, wherein when seeing patterns in another that I believe myself ‘incapable’ of doing or not being able to ‘fathom’ them, I go into a helplessness situation toward that point/person/mind that I am in fact then still reacting to within the belief that ‘ I cannot conceive how that can exist in another/ why they say/do things in such ways’ without realizing that who we all are and have become in our minds is essentially the description of being mind controlled, being schizophrenic as in being separated from each other, from our physical body and have become nothing else but ‘agents’ to consciousness, to the mind which we here understand that it has never existed within the principle and consideration of what is best for all because the starting point and origin of our mind was never meant to support our self-realization of being in fact equals and one in this reality and so

When and as I see myself creating a denial/existing in denial based on how I react to another’s mind based on backchat, beliefs, perceptions, assumptions and expectations of ‘how another should act/be by now’ I stop and I breathe. I realize that here I am going into the assumption that people have had to ‘change’ already according to time and process application, without realizing that me reacting to another’s mind possession or patterns is in fact indicating my own patterns, my own reactions that I still have to deal with/walk through which is the whole point here. I realize that it is not about ‘the other person’ as it is all about myself, my own reactions to words/patterns/behaviors that exist within each one of us as mind consciousness systems that even if we know ‘how to support ourselves’ with self-supportive tools, I am here being the proof that going into denial, helplessness, disbelief, disappointment about others is really only about myself that am still reacting to people’s minds, processes and experiences.

 

I commit myself to when facing a person that is in a particular mindset that I have defined as ‘tough’ or ‘challenging’ that I then place myself in the position of understanding which is a practical humbleness that I have to practice wherein instead of looking for someone else to ‘take the ball’ I rather read/hear the person’s words and see how can I best assist and support myself to understand the person and so be able to in turn support another within  placing myself in another’s shoes so to speak – which practically means living humbleness without expectations of ‘what the person should already know by now’ as we have proven ourselves as human beings that ‘lessons learned’ have come and gone and we have repeated the exact same mistakes, which shows then to what extent I have to remind myself that it isn’t as ‘easy’ to change or to expect change from others instead of first working with myself to ensure that I am in fact that point of change and the becomes the living example of how it is possible to walk with and support another as myself, regardless of ‘who’ that another is, ‘what’ they say or how they present themselves as I then recognize and realize at all times that ‘that another person is myself too.’ And this is the essential aspect of facing our equality: nothing of what exists in another is really ‘separate’ from myself, and so

I commit myself to live by the principle of really stopping any expectation upon another, any idea of ‘how another should be/act like/live by now’ within ideas, beliefs or perceptions of who I believe another to be – and instead focus on myself, on actually ensuring that I am not immediately diverting my attention to ‘another’ but to first and foremost focus on myself as it would be kind of pointless to try and ‘support another’ if I am reacting even in the most subtle ways.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to see my reaction as ‘disappointment’ but I realize that this would be like wearing a ‘good doer’ suit wherein it is  perceived as  more ‘benevolent’ to believe I experience disappointment upon myself and others upon who I created expectations about ‘who they are’ but  instead I recognize the ‘disappointment’ as the façade to create a form of victimization, because it’s seen with a ‘better light’ at the eyes of others, but in fact it was just an experience of giving  up, not knowing what to do/how to solve situations and problems wherein I then go into the experience of ‘I do not know what to do/what else to say’ and in doing so, rendering the situation, the person simply ‘gone’ and ‘obsolete’ – which is no different, once again to how we treat mentally ill people in our society, wherein because don’t take the time to walk with them, we simply locked them out, treat them as schizophrenics, paranoids with dissociative personalities and never have in fact taken the time to investigate what they represent as a part of ourselves, as the mind and so to not judge the person as the actual physical living flesh they are, but to simply learn to observe, to recognize the mind for what it is, and so be able to develop ways to assist and support oneself and others to best be able to walk through our mind and to always stick to principle instead of allowing personal vendettas or personal experiences and points taken personal from deviating ourselves from this process wherein for the first time we are doing what has never been done and what we as human beings don’t like doing which is: seeing ourselves as the mind, introspecting, self-investigating, which this includes not only ‘myself’ but also learning how to walk with others, their minds and configurations, to understand how and why they ‘came to be’ who they are as the mind and so never miss the point of realizing that no matter ‘how bad’ or how ‘evil’ I may perceive another, I am only judging another’s mind with my own mind which means that this is a point that obviously exists within me and here to self-forgive.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having harbored throughout many years the idea that because we are in this process, we simply do not ‘intend’ any ‘evil’ against one another, and so in this creating the assumption that because we understand principles, then it’s done, there’s no more frictions or conflicts, backchats beliefs toward one another, but this is simply not so. I’ve realized how much work it actually takes to really integrate this point of self-change and my point here to take self responsibility for is the experience of just projecting my own giving up to another as in ‘not knowing what else to do’ and seeing another as a ‘lost case’ instead of actually realizing that this mind /this person/this situation is actually a gift wherein I am demonstrating and mirroring back to myself where it is that I still have to work with within myself, within my mind, within my expectations and stopping them, within the memories that get activated within me whenever I have been throughout my life subject to any form of another’s mind projection as I see and realize that in the past I accepted and allowed this to affect ‘me’ because I then had no context or understanding of who we are as the mind and therefore

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create the thought pattern of ‘humanity is evil’ when I was in elementary school and I was subject to bullying for being the ‘star of the class’ and have kids stop talking to me or telling me how they were going to ‘defeat me’ and ‘bring me down’ and ‘win over me’ wherein I created an extensive amount of stress, apprehension and general I could say depression at age 7-8 wherein I could not fathom why these kids that were supposed to be my friends, my classmates were ‘getting at me.’ In this, I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to go into the experience of ‘I rather just not be ‘as good as I’ve been’ so that ‘they’ can have the spot they want and ‘I’ stop being the problem for them’ – without realizing that in this I would have given up on myself and making their words a ‘reality’ as a point for me to make decisions based on what others think/believe/say about myself or toward ‘me.’ So I realized by support of my mother that that was not the way and that I simply didn’t have to ‘listen to others’ but still, this ‘spine’ that emerged from these situations and later on becoming more aware of how we operate toward another as human beings in this world, made me feel powerless toward ‘the evil’ in this world and the actual nastiness and secrecy and deliberate hate that exists between human beings, which is how I then created the experience of being ‘too sensitive’ to these things which is why I then became a ‘hard ass’ so to speak so as to be able to cope better with all of these experiences that I went through while growing up and ‘taking the heat’ of things, while seeing myself in a constant ‘battle’ so to speak, which is why I also developed this mentality of having to be on a ‘defense mode’ most of the times toward those that I perceive are ‘out to get me.’

I realize that this is the modus vivendi that we all have, and that I’m no different to any other individual and I bet we have all created and built up our ‘walls’ of defense so that no one can really ‘get us’ or get to see the actual vulnerability that we all have as human beings, because this is understood as an opportunity to abuse a form of trust, of intimacy and understanding – so I see that because I’ve done this myself, I’ve been there myself, I can then understand why in the mind we tend to automate defense-mode and ‘attack-modes’ toward one another in the belief that ‘we have to defend ourselves.’

The  only thing that requires to be ‘defended’ is who we are as ego, because Life is simply recognized and supported.  

 

 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have re-enacted, re-experienced within myself the same experiences of shock, sadness, disbelief and mostly  helplessness toward others such as the memory when I saw my ‘friends’ in school talking to each other’s ears during lunchtime and looking at myself and when I tried to join them, they simply ignored me, which is when I decided that I would have to learn how to be alone – and in this, allowing this secrecy and these backchats and ‘conspiracies’ about me to get everyone in the group to ‘dislike me’ to define ‘who I would be’ toward everyone else which is how I then started developing a constant state of distrust, having very few people as ‘friends’ and generally toward human beings creating this general idea that ‘everyone is evil’ so I could not like or trust people easily, which in a way it was cool as I was seeing the nature of who we are as the mind – but the problem is that I took it personally and I believed that ‘the world was out to ‘get me down’’ and that people wanted ‘my position’ in school/in my life or that ‘wanted’ my life, which lead me to essentially have virtually no friends, specially no ‘female’ friends as I considered that it was easier to ‘get at me’ or get to ‘steal’ the people I liked or my friends – lol which my fear became somewhat true at some point – but I see that this is all just what I have created in my mind, as my memories that I’ve loaded based on that initial disbelief, sadness, helplessness toward others’ words and having taken them personally, and so as a ‘result’ simply managing to become a ‘tougher’ person which was nothing else but the expression I had to ‘pull out’ in order to defend myself and have ‘no one to fuck with me’ which of course is not the solution, as this ‘stance’ of self-defense or being in constant ‘vigilant’ mode also leads us to perpetuate the state of wars within and wars without.

 

So in this I realize that If I am in fact here to embody stability and harmony as myself and toward others, I have to first ensure that I am not conditioning my behavior based on ‘how others act’ and so ‘act as a response To Them’ as this would be then Re-acting, responding, replying, reminding myself ‘who I should be’ toward another based on memories, emotions, beliefs, expectations, assumptions  – all of which is of the mind and all of which I cannot trust when being here with another, reading/hearing/sharing words with another and so in this

I commit myself to ensure that whenever I read something that is directed towards ‘me’ and I perceive it as a form of attack or slander, I stop and I breathe. And I ensure that I am stable and that I am not rehashing my past memories and experiences of ‘not knowing how to deal with this attack’ as in primary school – but instead immediately ground myself within the realization that these words are coming from another mind as part of the mind that I am also existing as, and as such, reacting in any way with fears, judgments, emotions and beliefs is nothing else but perpetuating the problem = not taking self-responsibility for myself, therefore I direct myself then to take into consideration how can I best support that individual and do so the same way I would like it to be done to myself, and actually seeing or ‘reminding’ myself that that person is a part of me that I am here to support as I have vowed to do so for myself in this process.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the façade that ‘everything should be fine’ because ‘there is no conflict’ and as such maintain this belief or experience of ‘everything is cool’ or ‘workable’ and whenever  a point of conflict emerges in my world and reality,  then I go into a form of ‘blame’ toward the person/point that emerged as ‘conflict’ for ‘disrupting the workable/agreeable situation’ which is in fact only pointing to myself where it is that I want to maintain a form of control over how I believe the situation should be, and how even if I have tried to ‘embrace conflict’ there was an expectation of such conflict being ‘solved’ already and so when the point repeats/reactivates I go into a helplessness state as in the belief of ‘this point/person/mind should have gotten it by now’ and so in this actually using  this backchat as an excuse to not FIRST of all look at why have I created such expectations upon ‘others’ instead of first pin pointing the reaction, the experience that leads me to create such backchat in the first place? Why have I accepted and allowed myself to dismiss this subtle reaction within ME and immediately shift it toward ‘another’ which implies a form of righteousness as well: I am right and the other is the one causing the conflict, which is in fact dodging /abdicating my own responsibility first and foremost. 

 

When and as I see myself having the backchat/assumption of ‘This person should have gotten it by now’ I stop and I breathe as I realize that in this I am immediately dodging my own reaction, my own expectations, my own beliefs upon that person/situation and the belief of ‘point being corrected/point is aligned/point will no longer repeat the pattern’ as I realize that in the mind everything that we have become throughout time is nothing else but a broken record where we repeat our same experiences from our very early memories in our lifetime, which I have seen and exposed for myself as well. Therefore I then commit myself to understand the person/situation, rather see what point is emerging now, what point is repeating, why and how can I best assist and support myself first to practice blaming or seeing ‘others’ as the problem, as I realize that obviously no matter how ‘subtle’ these reactions emerge within me, such words when directed as an expectation ‘toward another’ is indicating me that I first have to look within myself and see where I haven’t yet changed/aligned and corrected the point of reaction within myself, which is the whole point here of absolute self-responsibility and taking it all back to self.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the denial of my own secret mind when judging secrecy based on others’ words/actions, without realizing that in this I am once again dodging the realization that everything that goes on in my mind is still somewhat ‘secret’ as in there being no other being but myself in my mind and so by judging/denying/pointing fingers at ‘secrecy’ I am in essence missing out the point that has actually enabled us all to become ‘fearful’ to things like mass surveillance and so forth, which is how we want to ‘keep things secret’ as in hidden agendas where one can still allow backchat and imaginations/fantasies for ‘good’ or ‘bad’ about others which is a form of abuse as I realize that I would certainly not want myself to be subject to or an object of someone else’s mind – so for this, it is to first of all understand that ‘who we are as the mind’ has been the epitome of secrecy, the secret mind as that aspect of ourselves that we have veiled from everyone else, wherein we usually paint a good picture of us while hiding the ‘actual truth’ of ourselves. And so the title of this is ‘the uncomfortable truth’ which is where we believe that we are ‘right’ in our minds, that we are the ones doing the proper assessments, without realizing that when we are in any way judging/blaming/dismissing or denying another as oneself, one is definitely becoming the source and origin of the problem itself, as in the mind nothing can be trusted, in the mind as an immediate and almost ‘quantum’ experience that comes into our physical bodies and permeates our ‘reasoning’ from which we create an immediate response/reaction toward another, is not to be trusted, it is to be actually Stopped, breathed through in order to then assess what is it that’s coming up within me, why am I having this experience in my physical body, and so not attempt to ‘reply’ or ‘react’ to another as a way to ‘prove wrong’ or ‘prove right’ but instead focus on how I can respond in a way wherein I am taking self-responsibility which means that

 

I commit myself to respond to another based on the consideration of themselves as myself, and so first ensuring that I am fully stable, not participating in any experience – and if I was, then I Refrain/stop myself from reacting in the moment – so that I can take the time to assess how it is best to assist and support another, instead of wanting to ‘teach a lesson’ or ‘remind’ another of something that I believe ‘should have been ‘gotten’ by now’ – which is another form of righteousness or superiority when it comes to ‘proving another wrong’ or proving that ‘the point has not changed’ as an excuse to ‘dismiss’ another, which would be like wanting to cut my own arm just because it doesn’t have the strength that I expected it to have, even if I haven’t actually done the necessary work/training to develop such muscle and ensure that I have done all that is required to, for example, have my arm have a particular strength to a particular task or ability in my physical body.

 

I realize that everything that we’ve done throughout our lives in this reality is to dismiss, deny, negate, discriminate, exile, marginalize everything and everyone that doesn’t comply or doesn’t ‘fall’ into the creation of a normalcy which can be of course quite deceptive if not all cards are on the table, which means if oneself hasn’t actually taken absolute responsibility for what one is doing/experiencing/believing and perceiving about others and or the reasons why I would want to not want to see/not want to face/exile or marginalize another within the belief that ‘there is no cure, there is no solution’ which all that comes to mind when writing these words is the image of doctors in mental institutions that keep patients sedated and fully controlled just because we’ve given up on understanding how they got to such mental condition – or with ‘criminals’ that are sentenced to death which is our easy way out in society to deal with our own consequences, to not have to ‘face the dangerous person’ but, really being foolish to not investigate HOW and WHY we have created such mental problems, such so-called ‘criminals’ and why even our definitions of mental illnesses and criminals have been so diminished in our ‘mind framework’ dismissing all of us really that still exist in our minds and that still participate in a world-system where we commit crimes against life as a collective by allowing the starvation and the marginalization of those that we have rendered ‘helpless’ and ‘poor’ and ‘eccentric’ and ‘mentally ill’ and so forth, which are all tags that we create to justify our inability to work with them/walk with them in order to get to point of stability – which, of course, won’t be an easy thing to do, but it is what I would like others to do toward myself if I was in such position/role of being the marginalized, the ‘ousted’ one or the rejected one, as I’ve certainly to some degree have faced such point myself so, I realize that that is what I want for myself and so I have to give it to others that are willing of course to support themselves back, as that’s the essential principle I commit myself to walk here: to support others the way that I would like to be supported myself.

 

I commit myself to stop all assumptions, all projections of ideas/beliefs and perceptions I have toward ‘others’ and ‘who they are’ or ‘Should be’ in my mind, and instead commit to live in the moment where words are assessed in the moment instead of carrying ‘past history’ of a person within myself as a recollection of ‘experiences’ toward ‘them’ to then decide ‘who I am toward the person’ as this is my own conditioning my own ‘program’ that I have to ensure is not interfering with my ability to support another as myself which begins by ensuring I am not tainting another’s words based on the past or ‘who I believe the person to be’ but rather work each time, anew, from the words  in the moment, no past, not future, just here.

 

 

I commit myself to live the word humbleness in practicality within the consideration of others as myself which implies placing myself in the shoes of another, understand ‘where they’re coming from’ ensuring I’m not taking their words/actions/thoughts personally, but that I am able to instead if I see myself able to understand the words, I can most certainly challenge and will myself to support another that I see is willing to support themselves too, as this is how I see that through supporting each other it is easier to face the points and patterns that still exist within ourselves, so this is to not see another through eyes of ‘how changed he/she should be by now’ but to simply work with what is here, no preconceptions, no expectations, no denials, no running away or dodging the point but facing it fully here as it is part of my reality, and that then is of course my responsibility to face as well.

 

I commit myself to live the word gentleness which is a very necessary aspect when it comes to my words and to ensure that I am not in any way creating a defense mode toward another or to prove ‘righteousness’ or want to ‘control’ a situation through any amount of force, as I realize that this is what I have judged from any form of ‘authority’ that I have experienced such form of ‘control’ form, which is nothing else but actual fear that attempts to keep things ‘stable’ instead of facing them and directing them as self – so I realize that in order to live Gentleness  I have to let go of any speck of fear that creates the ‘defense mode’ and so align my words to embody that gentleness, consideration and humbleness to understand another, to support another as I would like to be supported myself and so be willing to embrace all parts of what is here in this world as myself and as points that I require to face if I am in fact to ‘train’ myself to educate myself to support any other person in this world that wants to support themselves back.

 

Further reading:

254. Beautiful Enslavement and Control

 

 

Suggested places to understand more about how to embrace and support the nature of who we have become as our mind:

 

Demonology | Revealing the world of demons – Desteni

 

The History of Desteni and Demons – Part One – YouTube

 

 

 

 

 

To learn more about how to support yourself and another, share, walk with us and become part of the necessary liberation from fighting against each other and instead, become life:

 

• Desteni
• Desteni Articles
• Destonians
• Desteni Lite Process
• Desteni I Process
• Agreement/Redefining Relationship Course
• Desteni Forum
• Desteni Wiki
• Desteni Español
• Creation’s Journey to Life
• Heaven’s Journey To Life
• 7 Year Journey To Life Process

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

273. Honoring Life and our Creative Force in Equality

When looking at what we have learned to express as and dedicated our lives to as humanity, it’s not been to honor each other as equals, we didn’t learn from our parents or at school how to do that – we instead learned how to compete, how to win, how to ‘do whatever it takes’ to become number one and feel proud about it. We never learned how to direct our every breath and every moment consideration to nurture ourselves, to become better living beings, to learn from others, to support others to strengthen ourselves and themselves, to cooperate and realize the true harmony that can create in this world. Unfortunately, we have only learned the opposite: to only care for ourselves, our loved ones, to respect authorities that abuse the majorities, to vote for that which will ensure My security and satisfaction while neglecting those that will be affected by such measures, to deposit our time and workforce to maintain a system wherein no one is living ‘happily ever after’ yet still believe that such thing is possible.

 

Continuing from:

• 271. Sacred Art: the Key to Understanding Reality
• 272. Venerating The Money-God

Our civilization is like a fractal from the perspective that we can take any part of it, anywhere in the world, study the patterns as the forces involved in creating the patterns that such part/piece of reality is presenting and we will be able to realize the limitations, the abuse, the suffering, the negligence, the harm and also all the benefits and good living conditions generated through the use and abuse of such resources/space/people/living beings.

When I began writing about this point within looking at sacred art the same points exist: we learn to revere to a reality according to the pictures that we are then taught to venerate, to obey and we get certain belief systems imprinted wherein we are able to justify such abuses – like no one questions why people are still living in shacks made of cardboard and aluminum sheets in certain peripheral areas of our ‘great cities’ but billions are invested in freeways, constructions of the greatest quality, multi-billion projects for malls and other centers that ensure more money will be obtained through such investment – but, what kind of ‘profit’ can one make from building proper houses for people? If you are the company that builds such houses, you can earn great profit with the right connections, however the materials of such houses are most likely flimsy and of the lowest quality, why? Because we haven’t learned how to honor each other as equals and we give to another that which will cost us the least so we can earn the most. Haiti is still struggling to recover after 3 years of the Earthquake and the world keeps turning without any substantial support being given to people that have no basic sanitation/ toilettes/ running water and sewage which in itself is currently the cause of the cholera outbreaks that are becoming a chronic situation there.

It is impossible to not look at my comfortable position and ponder how on Earth one can feel ‘happy’ in this world while billions of people that are equals in essence to myself are going through hell every single day. And all of this is because we have learned to honor money and not life. We have learned to trust invisible gods to make a change instead of us taking the responsibility for our creation; we have learned to rather applaud the great civilized world of wonders, luxury, opulence and ‘divinity’ while turning a deliberate blind eye to the reality that we are neglecting in order to ensure that we ‘keep on dreaming’ and never look at the other side.

 

The point here is to realize one thing: in the end, everything that we are currently securing our lives with is a make believe system that is no longer sustainable, just as the gods and religions that are slowly but surely coming to pass as more young people realize the fallacy that it is to venerate gods and money that is destroying the Earth, and it’s not a power that god and money have in themselves, it is the way we are currently using Money which is the problem. And currently our lives are revealing their ‘real dark side’ in order for us to realize that we have really fucked up. We cannot continue venerating gods and money that is deliberately becoming the most lethal drug that we are all consuming on a daily basis, and we have to understand that such lethal drug is the mind and who we are as the mind is the one that has accepted and allowed any form of power in separation of ourselves, any form of symbol as ‘more’ than ourselves and any creative force place at the service of forging these very same symbols and structures determined to implant belief systems that have ruled humanity from the very beginning of our civilization.

This is also in conjunction when looking at human history, all continents and their prehistoric times wherein all that remains is all the archeological residues of civilizations and all the representations and ‘great works’ that were mostly dedicated to create this ‘divine’ idea of the human being, adoring gods and forces of nature outside of themselves, learning to consider the ‘greatest forces’ in this world as ‘bigger’ and ‘more powerful’ than ourselves, and in this abdicating all sense of reality when it comes to really looking at what it is that we are praying for/ venerating/ building, what type of values, what are we really creating a sense of respect for, what are we placing on pedestals and as such, also looking at everything that we are mostly neglecting and brushing aside as all our ‘backchat’ and secret mind transformed into the ‘ugliness’ of the world that we constantly feel the need to ‘spice up’ – it is unsustainable now to hide behind gods and good spirits since even drugs and alcohol are turning the ‘party’ into a nightmare and horror screening in real-time.

 

Within all of this it is just a reflection of everything that I could realize just by observing some ‘marvels’ of sacred art and the history that exists before us as humanity, and the thing is that throughout all of this time there has been no equal and one consideration of who we are as living beings toward each other. Proof of that is that we rather employed our work force to create gods and ‘precious items’ to make ourselves ‘more worthy’ than developing any form of Self-Honesty and consideration of what is best for every single living being in this world. There was non, and the fact that many people are Still venerating any god – either money or religious god – generates the point of abuse necessary to maintain this current system in place. Yes, you read properly: abuse required to maintain this current system in place.

 

In the Equal Money Capitalism we will practice the law of placing our creative forces at the service of Life itself, learning how to honor ourselves as each and every single cell that we have taken for granted, we will learn how to understand that no system can be a ‘living environment’ without ensuring that every single being is equally supported to have the necessary means and services/ resources to Live in dignity – because we will stop living as viruses within a system outdoing each other and being subsumed in mind-battles against each other, we will instead learn how to become the beings that we all desired to become, but ended up veering such twisted self idea toward a relationship of competition, dishonor and abuse because that’s currently the only way only a few can ‘win’ in the game.

The creations that will originate from such self-stability and real harmony will have nothing to do with artifacts that represent symbols of ‘moreness’ as the depiction of our personal deliriums within the beliefs of gods/ money/ power, we will instead learn how to put our creative efforts to create sustainable environments that finally consider the life that has been used/abused to currently maintain our deceptive self-images and money systems. A real honor toward oneself and each other will emerge and the expression of ourselves will be a one and equal reflection of that – that’s definitely an art/creativity that one can ‘look forward’ to – however such decision to do this must not be placed in a ‘long term future projection,’ and instead realize that we have to become it ourselves, today, by making a decision in every moment to be of life and not of the mind of gods, moneys and ‘power systems’ that have only served to abuse life.

That is certainly the purest breath of life that we can give to ourselves, to purify ourselves, to support and direct our every single cell to ensure our lives are honored at last and we burn down to ashes everything that was never meant to do just that.

 

So, this is a rebirth for Self-Expression, to never again idolize gods and money and instead learn how to honor our every single cell that enables us to breathe and exist and as such, direct our every day and existence to for once and for all implement a world system that will ensure no one/ no-thing  is ever again used as energy and work force to sustain/maintain beliefs systems of abuse such as religions and the monetary system that only benefits some. From this starting point of standing one and equal to every single part/particle in our reality, we can be sure that whatever we express/manifest from this living-statement of who we are as Life in Equality, we will learn what actual Self Expression is, which won’t be based on beauty and all these wonderful stories of divine powers and great victories,  but a real extension of a stability, a certainty, an honoring of ourselves as that which we are committing ourselves to live by and express as.

The meaning and purpose of life, is at all times Life in itself – hence we first learn how to Live: we create a world system that lays the foundation to enable such living expression @ www.equalmoney.org

Further Support:

• Desteni

• Desteni Forum

• Desteni Lite Process – Online Free Course to take the first steps to walk in Equality with us

• Desteni I Process

• Equal Money System

 

 

Blogs:

Economist’s Journey to Life

Journey to Life

• Day 272: Cyberspace – Hiding Place for Very Sick Minds

• The Practicality of Balance (Part Two): DAY 271

 

Interviews:

• The Soul of Money series is the greatest sociological, psychological and economical education with a holistic perspective of this world systems, ourselves and the solutions to create a world in Equality.

272. Venerating The Money-God

 

Continuing from: 271. Sacred Art: the Key to Understanding Reality

Also Read: 203. The Acceptance of Heaven is the Allowance of Hell …

 

So, we find that the representations used to venerate gods/ the divine were meant to ‘educate’/imprint/reinforce within human beings this sense of being lost and seeking to be ‘found’ and ‘happy again.’ You are born sin, some guy died because of your sins, you have to punch your chest recognizing that it’s been ‘my fault, my fault, my great fault’ and then pray to some god, angels, archangels and saints to save us from ‘falling’ into the pits of our temptations, which is everything that has been tainted with being bad, wrong, spoiled, which also includes that which generates Life on Earth, such as sex and sexuality, such profanity from ourselves yet we never questioned this and as such, morality was born.

 

If we have a look at what sacred art represents is quite a form of ultimate abuse and control which is using the Earth’s materials to be worked by and through one human being to create a final product that will serve for purposes of enslavement. I cannot see a difference between this same process and virtually all that we have constructed/ built in our society that is currently serving No purpose other than continuing the mystification of the human race within these ‘godly’ self-beliefs of evolution/progress/betterment and investing in such ‘godly tasks’ while there’s still people dying from preventive diseases, starving to death and having no proper education given in equality in order to be able to ‘equally make it’ in this holy-crusade that we’ve called Life. That’s our god of progress, yet we’re all quite happy with the way it turned out ‘for us’ because we have had no idea of what it is to really be ‘forgotten’ in this world system.

 

In terms of this sacred art, it is no different to the images/pictures/sounds used for massive purposes of propaganda through the best PR campaigns to direct the population to buy/consume something and as such, keep the entire system in place. Back then there was no media or radio or anything like ‘mass media’ that exists now- yet, there were churches and people that spent their lifetimes ‘converting’ people, which here in Mexico it meant stopping venerating several gods of natural forces and start believing in Jesus, the bible, the saints and seeking to be ‘benevolent’ at all cost. So it meant a shift from a functional form of enslavement to these natural-forces as gods to a monotheism that became the most profound form of indoctrination in our culture: you are only a servant to god, you are a sinner, you deserve nothing, you must suffer to reach any godhood. And for that, you have to now ‘Elevate’ yourself through believing in god, going to church, giving your money to the church, feeling constantly guilty for your sins, feeling like you always NEED to feel good, to be ‘closer to god’ and do whatever it takes to make a higher score in your reputation with god as this ‘omnipresent’ authority-figure that we all learned to fear.

 

What’s more fascinating is that this is precisely how the Quantum Mind operates: everything that was created as a constant form of secret mind is all the negative, bad, evil, dark, nasty and the usual catholic indoctrination means that one has to ‘feel bad’ about that, feel guilty, you are a nasty piece of flesh if you dare to go without confessing your dark deeds to another man that was supposed to absolve you from your sins in god’s name. Well, what happens at a quantum mind level is that we would thus only seek to be ‘Positive’ all the time and experience the ‘glory of god’ in our earthly lives, which means: hide everything that seems negative, seek the light! seek the positive! without Ever having understood what the hell does ‘being positive’ in fact meat, which is certainly Not an actual best for all state of being for ourselves as our physical body and establishing proper relationships with ourselves and each other – but instead it meant the Most Energy for the Mind/ Consciousness, which implies that we have only really been venerating one real god: energy/ consciousness, wherein we have believed that all the love, light, peace and joy are ‘natural’ experiences and our ‘utmost desire’ to fulfill on Earth – but, again, who taught us that such ‘well being’ is an energetic flickering experience that we have to Buy/ Consume and attain Happiness/Joy/Bliss no matter what – why do we have to BUY our happiness and well being?

All of this exists in a massive ignorance toward how the mind operates that, as we have explained before, to generate any sense of ‘positive experience’ it has to consume the flesh/physicality in order to transform it into energy that we then call ‘positive experiences’ – For this please educate yourself with the following interview:

Quantum Mind Self Awareness – STEP 26

 

The religious construct implies: you are separated from god – But what is ‘god’ anyways? Well, if we can give god a proper signifier it is the physical, life in itself as a whole – thus, one of the ways in which we have separated ourselves from our own piece of god as the physical body that we are is through the Mind, because the mind is a system that can only exist if enough energy as the result of a relationship of friction and conflict within ourselves is generated in order to create these either positive or negative experiences that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become as ‘who we are’ as ‘our personality’ as our ‘identity.’  So all of these suffering images were meant to remind us all the time: suffer, be sad, repent! you are born in sin, you are flawed, you are not worthy unless you climb the ladder of success to get to god/the most money in the world and as such, you’ll be holy and deserving the heavens. But, no one explained how such ‘glory’ as the heavens/ the most money in the world was created: both systems implied the resourcing of the physicality transformed into energy to power up the ‘Heaven’ existence – that is no longer existent and for that read the Desteni Material – and the Money System as well wherein those at the ‘top of the pyramid’ and even in a figurative way ‘closer to god/ the heavens/ above the Earth’ are able to be in such positions due to the abuse that is imposed onto the rest/ base of the pyramid in order to make More than others and claim divinity and having a ‘fortunate position’ while deliberately neglecting how those below are actually ‘living’ and how they have been the forgotten ones by some god to have equal-support and opportunity as those that get to be at the very top.

 

Now, when looking at sacred art which was mostly made for and in the houses of the elites and the ecclesiastic circles/ churches, one gets to see this imposition of ‘divinity’ and ‘power’ through majestic constructions with lots of gold and magnificent paintings that are revered till this day. For that, you can hear  The Soul of Money – Part 26 for further context of how this operates.

It is quite an abuse to use actual creative forces to forge, sculpt, paint and manifest some of the most atrocious artifacts with which billions have been enslaved to through such items/products becoming a representation of the belief systems we have all followed – there’s still billions venerating images, crucifixes and all forms of relics associated with some form of ‘divine symbols’ that one is then protected by, or given ‘good omens’ with or signifying some form of specialness – all kinds of delirium that is able to be created/ constructed in order to maintain this hierarchical separation from ourselves as god/ life existent equal and one in everything and everyone.

 

I see this is why a movie like Stigmata became such a fascination to me because the message was clear with the Gospel of Thomas there “Jesus said… the Kingdom of God is inside you, and all around you, not in mansions of wood and stone. Split a piece of wood… and I am there, lift a stone… and you will find me.” However, as explained yesterday, Jesus was not god, Jesus simply saw within himself and everyone else that sameness as Life, hence such Equality could be found Everywhere and as such, this statement would debunk the entire institutionalization of god made religion, made ‘followers’ and a set of dogmas that one would have to somehow be controlled by, which is the entire plot of  Stigmata where the Vatican is presented as keeping all of these secrets in order to not lose control of the faithfully deceived.

 

If we see a parallel within the Money System currently, the same process is going on: one is not supposed to question the existence of Money – how it is created, who decides what is worth what amount of money, what are the laws that decide and govern how money moves in this physical reality, and the ‘representatives of god’ as money in this reality are the bankers and governmental institutions that have the ‘divine power’ to create money out of thin air and decide to do whatever will benefit them the most with it. We’re then left with a few economists – a parallel to the theologians  – that are supposed to ‘make sense’ of the economy only, and I say theologians and economists are similar because none of them have any actual ‘say’ to change how the power is forged/constituted/configured within this reality, one can only ‘study it’ within its defined/given context and that’s it, hence no change has emerged in this reality. To read more about how this is in the process of being changed to an actual revolution, read an Economist’s Journey To Life.

 

It is still fascinating to me to see people appeasing and kneeling at the sight of these artifacts, crying in front of these clay representations of virgins, saints and any other ‘doll-like’ figure that could represent that character from that passage that they thought was ‘divine’ in nature – and that certainly always lead to seeking this ‘divinity’ within ourselves, learned to curse and deny and conceal all the negative and as such, keep walking to ‘create’ the kingdom of God/Money the ‘Positive’ in this world. One can thus see how this has become the foundation of our current ‘civilization’ : see pretty pictures, attach some ‘great value’ to that which entails great abuse, extrapolate the Value of Life as Equals and create a hierarchical system wherein one has to accept great suffering to get to god. Sounds familiar? Yes, life is a struggle and you’ll have to endure sweat, blood and tears to ‘make it’ in this life. These are the laws of our current hierarchical system of abuse as well as the religious precepts that we have blindly followed– and this has become the foundation to the vast majority of a nation blinded by religion and still believing that through prayer this world will get better and they will get what they require to live, which is money.

Is ‘God/ Religion/ Money’ to blame then? Not at all, it has always been ourselves that created such entities, it has only been ourselves that followed through with such forms of separation while being embodying the answer to all life: the physical, life in equality. This is thus not a point to condemn but mostly a point to expose in order to see what type of religious-systems we’re still following and Money as the current construct it exists as is certainly no different to any form of religion that we believe is what’s best for all, while it has always proven to Not be so as this world and our entire history of ‘venerating gods’ have demonstrated already.

How long will we continue to value metals, paper, wood, oils, stones shaped into the form of gods/money more than life itself? how long will we continue to be controlled by these symbols and totems that can only signify a point of separation and abuse toward each other?

Investigate the Equal Money System where all false gods will cease to exist and Life will be recognized as who we are in Equality: giving and receiving what we require to live and never again reduce ourselves to being servants of abuse.

 

 

“Everything Works-together like a Conspiracy of Synchronicities. Constantly Sending the Message: “Obey – you are Imperfect”, “You’re Born in Sin”, “You’re Not Good Enough”, “the World can’t Change”, “Accept what is Here” – and then, you are Given an ‘Answer’, an Illusion as Consciousness as Religion, as Spirituality, through which you can Escape, Waiting for Death as the ‘Great Escape’ to go to ‘Another World’, apparently, to a ‘Better Life’, apparently, which obviously, if you Study the Law of Physics: Is Impossible. There Is Only That which you Are and Allow – Even Beyond this, because: ‘Magically’, your State of Energy don’t Change, ‘Magically’ your State of Being don’t Change, it is What it is Now and what you Accept Now; and if you Do Not Understand the Most Basic Principles of What makes it Possible for you to be Consciousness, to have a Thought, to have a Feeling, to have Emotion: If you don’t Understand That even – How could you Ever be Free?” – Bernard Poolman*

 

Further Support:

• Desteni

• Desteni Forum

• Desteni Lite Process – Online Free Course to take the first steps to walk in Equality with us

• Desteni I Process

• Equal Money System

 

Blogs:

• *Day 271: Conspiracies of Synchronicities (Part Two)

• 
  

  The Practicality of Balance (Part Two): DAY 271

 

Interviews:

• The Soul of Money – Part 26: Architectures of Mind Systems, Architectures of World Systems

• The Soul of Money – Part 24 : How the Soul predetermined the Human’s Relationship with Money

• The Soul of Money – Part 9: Fight to Death for Energy and Money