89. Righteous Victim

Continuing from

• 87. Tantrum-me : Explaining the memory of childhood that created the pattern and condition of ‘the victim’
• 88. The Victim: Walking the Self-Forgiveness process on the childhood memory along with other points that emerged when walking the Self Forgiveness

 

Self Corrective Statements.

This is the Self-Corrective process to stop the pattern from playing out from here on when and as I see myself in particular events/ situations that present the same trigger points that I would react to based on the particular character identified as ‘The Victim.’

 

When and as I see myself suiting a memory in order to place myself as the victim within a particular event/situation, I stop and I breathe – I realize that the ability to stop playing as a character based on the past as memory is here the moment that I do not participate and instead, continue walking, breathing and directing myself in common sense according to what is here as reality.

 

I realize that the advantage used before within ‘being the offended’ in the story was to place myself as superior to the other characters in the story, without realizing that I cannot base my existence of ‘who I am’ as the offender/ offended in a particular event – it is about me taking responsibility for what I do, say and think in the moment wherein if I in any way think or react in an emotional way, I direct myself to investigate the point to see where it is that I haven’t yet walked the self forgiveness in relation to the particular memory it is stemming from, in order to realize the cycle that must be stopped as a particular thinking pattern within me, such as victimizing myself toward beings in my reality based on the memories I held of them within my own mind.

 

When and as I see myself expecting someone to feel ‘bad’ about something that they have done, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am following the pattern of expecting someone to react in a way that makes me feel in ‘power and control’ over them. Thus I direct myself to instead support myself to stop any thoughts, reactions and then support them to instead of falling into guilt, blame and remorse, realize the point of responsibility through self-forgiveness and walk the necessary corrections in self-honesty.

 

When and as I see myself acting out of righteousness as in thinking that ‘I want to/ I can do this all by myself,’ I stop and I breathe- I realize this is the ego of the mind speaking as the ingrained pattern in and during childhood. Thus I realize that I can instead learn how to work and direct points in working with others, as that is an effective way to expand ourselves into a more effective way of living as equals.

 

I realize that this is in essence an ingrained pattern that I played out as a child wherein I would deliberately want to do it ‘on my own’ based on how my parents wanted to do things for me, the same with teachers when placing an example and giving ‘too many examples for my taste,’ wherein I would go into a haste of wanting them to just stop and allow me to do it on my own.

 

I realize then that this pattern of wanting to do it on my own and in essence devoid of ‘authority supervision’ was my way to prove that I do not require to be directed by others- just another form of incipient ego that I developed as a child because it was not from an actual realization of me being able to do it by myself, but mostly getting pissed off when ‘being shown’ how to do things, placing myself in the ego stance as if I was already ‘all knowing’ and didn’t require to be directed.

 

When and as I see myself reacting in exasperation and irritation when things/ points are being shown to me, I stop and I breathe – I realize that the only reason why I am reacting is because I am coming from the ‘who I am’ as the ego that doesn’t require explanations, directions and ‘knows how to do it,’ which is till this day an ingrained pattern wherein I react whenever someone gives me direction and common sense is shoved away and first emerges this reaction of ‘being told what to do,’ wherein I then believe that I was not being ‘effective enough’ and as such, diminish myself in that moment of taking the directions/ suggestions, instead of walking in common sense to not consider who is giving the instructions and within what context – but simply hear and apply based on common sense as what’s best for all.

 

When and as I see myself reacting to authority in/as any personality/ character, I stop and I breathe. I realize that I simply have to consider at all times what is best for all, and as such direct myself to establish my common –sense as a living direction wherein I stop acting and reacting based on the ‘who I am’ as the ego of the past, and instead unconditionally live here in every moment character-less.

 

When and as I see myself using any means such as ‘threats’ in order for others to act / move / direct a particular point, I stop and I breathe – I realize that this authoritarian character and imposition is a point that I accepted and allowed myself to play out from childhood wherein I learned how I would only move if I was threatened with something.

 

I realize that this mechanism acts in the form of instilling fear of experiencing something that I loathed – for example, being tickled until I would almost pee myself – if I didn’t remove my school uniform when getting home from school – which became a ‘game’ with my mother though at the same time I was actually petrified of being tickled until I would almost or sometimes pee myself because of the laughter mixed with fear.

 

I see that what may seem as a ‘meaningless game’ has actually instilled a traumatic-exposure as a way to move/ direct myself instead of having a common sensical explanation of why I should do it, instead of just imposing and order along with a threat if I didn’t do it.

 

When and as I see myself wanting to be ‘special’ because of not reacting/ acting in an apparent ‘predictable pattern’ in relation to ‘the masses’ – I stop and I breathe- I realize that any reaction and any assessment of ‘which character am I at the moment’ is also another form of ego as I am basing my existence here in the moment in relation to comparing myself to others in the moment.

 

Thus I remain breathing wherein there can exist no character at all.

 

When and as I see myself experiencing a sense of freedom, self-direction and independence when pushing a trolley – which is and has been a quiet experience within me every time and only now am I noticing it – I stop and I breathe – I realize that this is linked to that point of ‘taking the wheel’ in my life as a self-righteousness pattern, along with the characters of efficiency and effectiveness that I have exposed to myself in relation to my father. Thus I direct myself to simply walk with a trolley here, in the moment, one and equal, doing whatever it is that I have to do in the supermarket.

 

It’s fascinating how such a seemingly ‘unimportant’ point as pushing a trolley can be loaded with an entire character based on ingrained memories from the past as childhood.

 

When and as I see myself wanting to do the opposite of what the perceived point of authority in my reality is pointing out myself to be/ do and direct, I stop and I breathe. I realize that acting out of reaction is not best for all, but only suiting my ego as to ‘be right’ / have the best direction and/ or just deliberately causing friction within another as an ingrained way to maintain myself as ‘superior’ and ‘right’ toward others.

 

When and as I see myself saying the words ‘why didn’t you tell me? How come no one let me know?’ I stop and I breathe – I ensure that I am not charging these words with energy as in feeling ‘left out’ and ‘rejected’ or deliberately ignored based on the memories of myself as a child – thus I realize that I can direct such words to relate to a practical point wherein I do not take things personally, but instead first see and check what was the context in the moment and if I was required to ‘be there’ or not.

 

A memory comes up when I was at the farm and I was washing, which means that I would not be hearing much based on the noises in the laundry room. And then I saw that there was not much movement around, so after a while I realized that everyone was in a meeting and I had not been called – I got into such anger immediately toward my partner in that time because ‘it was his duty to let me know,’ and in that moment I became possessed with anger that I eventually exerted it out after all onto him, which was one of the times that I was being shown and revealed how I was blowing things out of proportion and deliberately wanting him to react in a similar way. But because I would see ‘indifference’ and ‘no reaction,’ I would get even more pissed off about it. I was instead shown how I was simply acting out of a mind possession, which was a cool point to see and realize once I allowed myself to Hear and stopping the raging backchat in the moment. I saw how I would immediately take it personal instead of investigating first the point and remain here as breath throughout it, and direct the necessary points to correct from here on. Instead I reacted heavily in anger which I see can be associated with this childhood memory and other memories of believing and perceiving that I am deliberately being ignored/ not called/ not taken into consideration – plus not getting the necessary ‘shame’ and remorse from another to make myself feel like the righteous victim in that moment – which is only a mind-trap for me to remain as a victim that can later on use this as a means to retaliate toward the person/ people that apparently had ‘done this unto me.’

 

When and as I see myself reacting to people in a certain event wherein I believe that I am being deliberately uninformed/ left out/ rejected – I stop and I breathe. I direct myself to remain here as breath and instead simply get the necessary points that I require to be aware of and continue with my daily tasks/ doings.

When and as I see myself deliberately raging against someone within the expectation of having them react to my words in a similar negative way, I stop and I breathe – I realize that this point of ‘raging against someone’ must not even exist if I am able t to direct myself in breath throughout situations instead of taking it personally and blowing things out of proportion.

 

I realize that I am reacting in an automated manner based on the memories of ‘who I am’ that I had not even been able to spot before as they were patterns ingrained in childhood.

 

When and as I see myself going into the pattern of being the ‘odd one’ in the family context, I stop and I breathe – I realize that this is just based on certain events wherein I built up the belief of me not being ‘a desired child’ which I would use as a means to have something to ‘oppose to’ in my world just for the sake of creating friction and conflict toward others.

 

I instead direct myself to remain here as breath, communicating and being here without assessing ‘who I am’ in that moment as a character based on the past in relation to the memory of myself as part of a particular family construct.

 

When and as I see myself wanting to deliberately blow things out of proportion in order to instigate further inner conflict in another so that I can feel like ‘the winner’ in my own mind, I stop and I breathe. I realize that this is me wanting to enhance myself as the self-righteousness character. Instead, I direct myself to remain here as breath wherein I can hear/ read the point unconditionally and as such, place myself in the shoes of another to see what is the best direction to give and do based on what’s best for all parts involved.

 

When and as I see myself believing that I am being deliberately ‘excluded’ for some point/ activity/ event, I stop and I breathe – I realize I am taking it personal wherein I think that I am being singled out for the sake of some personal ego reasons. I realize that this is only existent within my mind based on how I programmed myself from childhood to believe that I was the ‘unwanted child’ and as such, have a ‘reason’ to rebel against family/ authority in my mind.

 

When and as I see myself deliberately getting angry, shouting and making an entire ‘big deal’ out of an event in order to instill fear and a general shock in another so that they can react in guilt, shame, remorse, I stop and I breathe. I realize that I am simply wanting to place myself as above them and getting an energetic kick out of their reaction. Thus I breathe through the words, I stop any reaction and instead direct the point within the consideration of what is best for all in the moment, ensuring I do not take it personal but instead support myself and the other person to establish a proper communication to sort out/ direct the point effectively.

 

When and as I see myself speaking words toward another from the starting point of deliberately ‘putting more wood on the fire,’ I stop and I breathe. I realize that I am acting out of the victim personality that seeks to feel ‘more’ and ‘better’ than the other by instigating a particular ‘negative experience’ within them, so that I can feel good/ positive experience within me.

 

I realize that I am able to share perspectives and points in another however, all have to be based from the clear starting point of ensuring that I am not deliberately pointing fingers as to make others feel ‘like shit’ but to support another as myself to establish ourselves as self-directive beings that in all cases consider what is best for all people involved in equality.

 

When and as I see myself taking the ‘benevolent being’ character that is ‘willing to forgive another for what they’ve done,’ I realize that this is just plain ego as no one can forgive another, it is plain separation. I instead support another to walk through the point in Self-Forgiveness wherein I ensure I also walk the necessary self-forgiveness to unconditionally let go of any reactions emerging in the moment within me – I take responsibility for my mind, my thoughts, my words and reactions – thus I make sure I am breathing before speaking.

 

When and as I see myself playing out the character of ‘the one that is able to point out shit in another,’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that this ‘observer’ pattern as ‘the judge’ has been prominent within me instead of placing myself equal and one to another in the moment to then direct myself ‘as them’ to see the points that require direction. I see and realize that taking the character of ‘the judge’ is me believing myself to always be right and a such already place myself as inequality toward another – I direct myself to ensure I am breathing when interacting with another and I place myself in the moment within the consideration of what is best for all as equality and oneness.

 

When and as I see myself playing out the ‘polite one’ in order to get what I want, I stop and I breathe – I realize this is a manipulative pattern within me wherein I can simply direct myself to ask for the point without using surreptitious cloaked means to do so by instilling positivity in another to get my reward/ prize/ winning situation.

 

When and as I see myself expecting some ‘reward’ from another based on a previous event wherein I have experienced myself as ‘the victim,’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that reward is and has been a mechanism to make myself feel better after having felt being wronged and as such, all forms of ‘instilling happiness’ within me is based on me allowing myself to exist as a character based on the past and memories of childhood. Thus, I direct myself to not expect and not create any future projections and expectation toward anything or anyone.

 

When and as I see myself deliberately placing a gesture of sadness, depression or any other anguished face – I stop and I breathe – I realize that this is only possible when I am around people and I want to deliberately make them react to the face and ask ‘what is wrong?’ ‘what is going on?’ – hence this is deliberate manipulation that can only exist if I allow myself to remain as a character that instills a negative experience In another, to obtain commiseration as a positive experience in reward, which is just me supporting characters as myself and others in this world. I ensure that I first take on the thought pattern to see where and how I am victimizing myself in the moment, walk it through self forgiveness to ensure I stop the character in its root – myself – instead of going out and deliberately exposing it to get the reactions I want/ need and require to maintain the victimization character.

 

I commit myself to continue writing out the characters ingrained within childhood that I accepted and allowed myself to be and become as it is clear how such points have remained as a righteousness within me without questioning it further, instead of realizing that I have been the creator of them all  = hence it is absolutely possible for me to stop them.

 

I commit myself to remain here as breath in every single moment of my day to day living, wherein I realize that the smallest reaction is myself existing as a character that must be investigated, self forgiven and self-corrected to stop the cycles of the past existing within and as  me.

 

For further support, visit the Desteni Forum

For specialized self-support, check out the Desteni I Process

Equal Money System 

 

Darla (2006)

Self Support on Childhood memories and considerations to walk in our process:

• Parenting Building a Child’s Character: DAY 85
• Have you Ever Really Loved your Parents? – Part One: DAY 86
• Have you Ever Really Loved your Parents? – Part Two: DAY 87
• How Children are Taught to Lie: DAY 88

87. Tantrum-me

My first make-believe to suit my character is that ‘I was not like al the children that go to the supermarket and end up getting something new every time just because of throwing tantrums.’

In fact, ever since the first day of school and taking ‘pride’ in not crying just like the rest of the kids had, which later on I took as a point of superiority wherein I would watch kids throwing tantrums to get what they wanted – I would think how manipulative that was and I was mostly ‘banned from such a thing because of money.

 

So today in Heaven’s Journey to Life blog, the tantrums thrown in relationship to our parents are explained with great detail – and memories would come up, which I realized I had to then lay out for the actual pattern they represent.

 

So, the memory that has been imprinted and also told as a ‘family anecdote’ of me, is when I was 3 years old and we were in an amusement park. I was being ridden in a little cart that parents can place their kids in. However, I remember having this desire to be a grown up which I would play out in various ways. In this case, I convinced my parents to allow me to push the cart around as ‘I wanted to drive it/ not be driven’ and so, they did. I probably threw a tantrum in order to ‘get what I want’ and so, I went on walking the empty car, lol. But in a moment, they stopped to eat or something and they didn’t let me know – here is spotting a huge pattern of ‘why didn’t you tell me?’ and victimizing myself because of it as I’ll explain how and why later on. And so, I kept on going and going without noticing that my parents were not behind me any longer. And so I cannot remember what happened next but, I was giving a fake name when people were surrounding me and trying to let the ‘lost people services’ of the amusement park know that they had found a lost a girl with the name ‘Karina’ – lolol and that was the name of my favorite ‘superstar/ singer’ of the time, I simply would not even think that for this case that my name was ‘case-sensitive.’

 

So, in the end my parents did find me because they saw this group of people in a circle and assumed I could be there. The moment that I saw them anger ignited like never before – and I do recall several anger possessions/ tantrums toward my parents – I cannot remember the reasons, but I do remember the extensive energetic experience of it. And this time when my parents finally found me, I just had this intense anger toward them for ‘having left me alone’ when it had been ‘my will’ to step out of the cart and drive it myself.

 

My parents felt guilty of course for not looking after me and essentially forgetting about me while they were eating and I just had kept on going – and to say the truth I cannot even remember if I kept on going to deliberately get lost because they simply had ‘forgotten about me’ – of which I see that it is just the mind blowing it all out of proportion in order to justify the victimization that went on.

 

My father approached me with a bottle of coca-cola and something else, something probably like ‘junk food’ or sweet as a means to ‘compensate my tantrum,’ because I was absolutely possessed with anger toward them for ‘having left me alone.’ And what my parents recall is that I was trying to kick them and hit them out of anger, even if they were trying to ‘solve the point’ with giving me stuff that ‘I liked’ in order to ‘soothe my anger,’ but to me that was blatantly wanting to ‘buy me’ and I realized that they were just doing this to ‘calm me down,’ – which is another point that emerges when I would deliberately go ballistic as in ‘playing crazy’ with my mother lol until she would then start patting my back as if I was really crazy which would infuriate me even more because I was being ‘pacified’ which was just giving more fuel to my desire to just cause a friction and conflict toward them, but specifically my mother, which is a point of friction/ separation that I also have realized in an absolute ‘revelation’ like realization in the Heaven’s journey to life blog #50 which I suggest everyone reading.

 

And so, one of the reasons why I have such a present memory of this is because they took pictures of the moment when my father is handing me the coke and something else and I am just crying and shouting – and till this day it is an energetic experience that I can recall as being absolutely possessed within the thinking pattern of ‘why did you leave me alone! Why didn’t you let me know you were going to stop’ – and I cannot remember words, but only the experience of it.  Every time I’d experience anger like that, I’d get a surge of fear with it as in fearing my own experience, my highly destructible thoughts and imagination, which I could have only gotten from the same symbols that we have lived as characters of our won.

 

I can recall experiencing like a rift or shift within me whenever I would get madly in anger, and in that memory I remember ‘feeling bad’ for my father because he was this time the ‘pacifier’ trying to calm me down, but instead I  did exactly the opposite and didn’t take what they were giving me ‘NO! I don’t want it! sobbing yet in the depth of myself really wanting and being up for taking I have to clarify that at least at the moment – and based on what my mother says – we weren’t the type of children that would throw tantrums in stores to get what they want, but instead we learned how to do it in a rather persuasive manner, politely suggesting that ‘if it is possible to buy me this, then I’ll be very grateful.’ I actually walked and entire point with my father as ‘the provider’ in one mind construct, wherein I became used to always feeling ‘compelled’ to say thank you for everything – no matter how expensive or small the item he had bought for me. I mean I got to get so use to this that I would thank him for buying me a deodorant or a box of cereal, or yogurt and basically everything that he would gladly present to me as ‘look what I bought you’ lol which when I grew up would only made me laugh because I judged his attitude as childish toward myself. the ‘consolation prize,’ but even at that age I developed an entire ‘pride’ to ‘stick to my word’ and not give into these that I had no name for but was something like blackmailing.

 

The fact that this remained as an ingrained memory is because my parents would recall it, I got a reinforcement of the moment by the pictures taken that and that one picture where my father is handing me the stuff and I am in the middle of the tantrum– I literally felt ‘bad’ about it, but I knew that ‘I had to let them know they had fucked it all up’ – which is rather frightening how we go developing all of these characters from such a young age.

 

And now that I have scratched my head for more memories, I see that this same pattern remained on how after having struggled with me, my father would just go into silence, which I have also walked extensively in relation to how I ‘cope’ with my relationships with others and how I assume things instead of talking them out wherein I had interpreted silence as a giving up on me, as an absolute state of anger that does not allow you to even articulate. And so I became that in various other examples after that, wherein I would have a conflict with my parents and my father would eventually go silent after usually saying something like ‘do whatever you want’ – and my mother just refusing to accept the point which would lead me to believe that my mother had been this ogre in my life, based on all the definitions I placed upon her, upon my observations and interactions with her.

 

Then relationships came and that single moment of realizing that someone is ‘feeling sorry’ for something they have apparently ‘done onto me’ I would use and abuse to literally ‘exploit it’ to the max because I enjoyed that sense of being able to make another feel band/ guilty/ shame – until the point wherein I saw they would no longer continue playing the game and eventually comply to it as in saying ‘oh well I won’t get any more conflict from this,’ yet going into guilt for having made the other go through such a preoccupation and conflict wherein essentially, the figure of my father trying to hand me the coke and chips or whatever, was later on replaced by various other people in my world that I would also perceive I was ‘having them feeding from my hand’ in that moment when they were asking for forgiveness of something, and I would deliberately keep recriminating on them and adding ‘fuel to the fire’ so that they could feel like the scum of the Earth. Then, once the point was drying out, I would then comply to the reconciliation, which in the case of the father situation, it was finally taking the coke and chips – and when it came to partnerships, going into sex and further ‘reconciliation scenes’ would usually ensue.

 

And so, the self-righteous little kid that was able to cause such a conflict in a grown up was absolutely ‘powerful,’ like having the idea that this person that is supposed to be ‘your authority’ is bent on their knees trying to ‘make up for the problem’ that I believed they would cause, which became a game that I participated in whenever they would go out and not let me know, they would usually buy me something so as to make up for the fact that they had forgotten to tell me or simply ‘not taking me’ which I would take as personal.

 

I realize that the relationship with our parents is a key factor to look into when it comes to the creation of characters – I  can spot various characters that later on developed into the ‘who I am’ just because of the starting point of ‘who I am as energy,’ as an experience held/ captured in memory throughout time.

Thus, I’ll be walking specifically this memory to see the patterns I played out and came to fully embody as ‘who I am’ in absolute separation of myself as one and equal.

 

I commit myself to SHOW that it is Possible to Walk in Forgiveness as Self, Breath by Breath in Self-Honesty, Clearing Every Memory till the MIND STOPS and Only Self as the Living Flesh Remains, Understanding in Complete Detail How We Created a Damaged World so that we together as One as Equal can Clean up the Damage we have Done to Restore Life as Here as It Must Be as the Actual Reality Intended Before we Created Damnation by Giving ALL the Power to Knowledge as Memory ending up as Characters Created by Our Memory as the Knowledge it Contains. – Bernard Poolman*

 

Vicious circle

 

  Blogs to support yourself further:

• Have you Ever Really Loved your Parents? – Part Two: DAY 87

• *Day 87: The Secret Mind

• 52: Moving through my characters – Thinking Character Self Forgiveness Statements

• This is a continuation to:
• Day 44: The Character game
• Day 49: The Character game Self Forgiveness Statements
• Day 50: The Character game Self Commitment Statements
• Day 51: Moving through my characters

The ‘Loving’ perspective

 

The point of considering others or everything/everyone within my equation of the previously perceived and self-created idea/definition of ‘love’ certainly broadened my perspective of how we are used to holding ‘special bonds’ to people that se consider ‘special’ within our reality – that’s then an obvious point of separation wherein anyone that would claim ‘loving’ would in fact only have in mind/consider that particular person, thing or even activity that they ‘love doing’.

I had only spoken/ written about ‘love’ within the past as all the illusions of relationships based on the creation of a certain ‘feeling’ or ‘experience’ towards others which were nothing else but my own creation, I never even considered that I had to first see what self-love was to be able to then consider ‘loving another’. That was an absolute energetic game that has no place within what’s here.  All in all I’ve cleared the word from the usual associations and then realized that I would simply use the word ‘care’ – as a less-energetically charged within the general understanding of such word within our society – to indicate that which I want for myself and others as Equals.

I simply saw that it is not necessary to create little fluffy clouds or create the opposite reaction as rejection to all usual representations around the word love – like experiencing the usual ‘heart’ as something obnoxious, nothing but an inciting red representation of what seems like a 180 degree opposite placement of an ass or a pair of boobs. Instead of ridiculing the word with such symbols, we should all rather consider what actual love is.

Considering love as myself first and see what I required correcting and aligning within myself to realize what it was in fact was the first point to take on.

 

What is caring for myself? Not abusing myself would be the  first definition and association, but it would be based on a polarity towards ‘abuse’ only. So within that, self care, self enjoyment, self responsibility, self respect become the building blocks to see how to construct myself as that and live it out; this way we actually create such point of self care which didn’t precisely exist before in such a common sensical perspective – meaning considering that what I can take as ‘self-love’ can be lived and applied by others equally devoid of any mental experience as feelings/emotions.

Self acceptance became the foundation on this as I had resorted in ‘finding love’ as finding ‘acceptance’ in and through others, by being ‘someone’ in another’s life so, that point had to be brought back to myself to Care for myself. Then it was an entire process which I’ve described before and that is still being lived and applied as we breathe here.

The point of physical care became an actual consideration of myself as the physical, and not just wanting to preserve a ‘machine’ in a ‘well state’ – it became a completely new understanding through what we’ve realized as ourselves being this physical body at the moment and how much we’ve neglected it while existing only as thinking upper boxes at the top of the body. That point of being gentle with ourselves, learning to experience ourselves from head to toe at all times – caring for myself as in making sure I am well nurtured, I don’t oversleep or sleep less than what I required, not place myself in any situation of potential harm etc. – and not done out of ‘fear’ but out of common sensical considerations. Being self responsible is also a point that has supported me to establish that point of self appreciation again.

There are many things I wasn’t even aware of at a physical level – if I ever was, I would regard it as ‘normal’ like experiencing a nerve wracking sensation, an anxiety experience, some type of depression experienced  as something ‘normal’ and ‘usual’ only to then find out that I’m actually also abusing myself within existing in such energetic possessions instead of being here-as-life, breathing.

From physical care as self-care to caring for another. I bite my lower lip in means of the giving and taking action that this implies. We’ve got to demonstrate through actions, words in our living reality that we in fact care for ourselves and thus, we extend such care for another as ourselves – equal and one – without any hidden agenda, being unconditional in any point of support given and received by another. The point of receiving is something I had to learn to ‘accept’ as myself as I would tend to go into a ‘humbleness possession’ wherein being ‘too meek’ becomes just another way of not acknowledging what we’ve become, what we’ve achieved for example within this process and it’s standing in a polarity point of other points like being ‘recognized’ and so, such humbleness became just another way of playing a personality as a limitation to give and receive what I want for myself.

Giving unconditionally, receiving unconditionally – then we have the creation of such relationships as stable ways of existing – meaning, making sure that such giving and taking is not compromised in any way, that we’re actually able to do this as part of our daily living acts, that we are in fact supporting each other within the principle of what’s best for all and not just continuing the support of ourselves as egos, as personalities – personal-ties –  as people with hidden agendas that seek something else out of it all. That’s how in fact we go transforming any initial point of self interest into a walking-realization of the points that require to be modulated so that any potential separation through the creation of a ‘special bond’ is always re-directed here as what’s best for all, grounding it back to the basics without further poof-loops in the air when realizing it.

Then caring becomes an expression that can be lived with anything or anyone regardless – it must be a two way system just as our binary codes and the very breathing we give and take – because exhaling might be seen as a residue or excretion but it isn’t, it’s beneficial for those beings that take the co2 for their own nurturing like trees/ plants. So we live in a system that is organic in nature where all parts – if not artificially modified to the extent of plasticity – can be restored and reintegrated to the environment with great ease.

[Isn’t plastic just another attempt of self-preservation? the long-lasting inherent desire of humans to be ‘immortal’ translated into an artificial compound that is ‘apparently’ unable to be destroyed? – fascinating us, humans, not considering the outflow of our exertion of inner-desires into the external reality and its disastrous consequences]

 

To care then is to consider that what another is going through within their lives is me in another life as well, considering that what we’ve walked and shared in this world will mark the way for others to come and as such, we cannot leave a world based in fluffy-popable love ideas that require money and feelings to exist. Love must be deflated as the ideal that has been implanted in our heads based on the continuous brainwashing process obtained through our media, through nice stories passed on generation to generation, through traditions and cultural ways of conceiving ‘love’ as that which everyone had to ‘live up to’., inherently linked to success, sex and excess.

We can make of such ‘love’ a grounded expression that is able to be applied, lived as being given and taken as naturally as breath, as who we really are once we’ve realized and placed into action the realization that we are here to learn how to coexist together as individuals, yet moving as one single being. Just like cells in the body that remain individual yet work in groups to form tissue, muscles, organs and systems that conform the entire physical body. That’s the basic functionality that we must realize as ourselves and knowing that if we fuck with ourselves, we’ll eventually fuck with another and within that, cause multiple harms that might not even be seen at first glance, but eventually within being part of the whole and everyone existing in such individualized and compartmentalized version of ‘life’, we start creating rifts between ourselves that are imposed on to this very basic functionality of what we must be/ exist and live as, a separation created only at a mind level – not at a physical one.

Hence the importance of stopping the mind, stopping ourselves from falling into any alternate delusional reality other than what we are and represent at this moment as part of the group that is this living being called Earth and thus simply adjust ourselves, our living reality to be part of the system that’s currently emerging that is completely aligned with who and what we are as Life, where all mental experiences and definitions are being corrected and placed aside to focus on the reality that is palpable and physically verifiable by everyone here.

 

Caring for another as myself then becomes a living condition that we take into consideration not as a ‘must do’ as some type of political obligation, but as part of the basic input we can all integrate every moment that we express ourselves and that when we use our mind, we use it to create and construct that which is best for all, to think that which can be externalized without any ‘shame’ as it won’t contain any personal desires or interests behind. That’s the process we’re walking and that’s the place we have to get to in equal-terms and as part of the equal agreement we’ve now committed ourselves to here on Earth. Transparency in fact.

So, love becomes the realization of self-acceptance, self care, self responsibility and self respect that we are all able and capable of living as ‘who we are’ at all times. It’s always been there, we just haven’t accepted and allowed ourselves to live as it, so we  have to simply live them as who we are.

If you’re ready to love yourself and get out of the previously cheesy conceptions towards such word or even repulsion to it – as I had experienced before –   you are ready to embrace and amalgamate that word as ourselves, as all of the practical living points mentioned here wherein eventually whether we say love or care or consideration, we will be living-it which is what actually matters: being the living word.

Motivation then becomes the movement of self to enjoy being/ doing/ giving what we want for ourselves and everyone else equally which stands along the terms of what’s best for all, so that I live every day knowing and realizing that I’m being part of the necessary change in this world to create an equal-world where Equality is no longer a ‘correction’ or a vacuous concept, but a living reality. I realize that all motivation had been previously delegated on to money, power, success, feelings, sex, glory, fame and any other ephemeral experience that we had tagged as ‘love’ -which is similar to ‘seeking happiness/ love/ bliss’ as the ultimate goal in life – and instead we make that a constant property of living through actual continuous actions, with no more having to pursue glorious scenarios of achieving such elusive ‘lasting effect’ as part of an overrated concept of love or ‘eternal love’ which is unfortunately how it still exists now.

 

So, if we want to change the starting point of our motivation as humanity, we have to begin with ourselves. Seeing where self interest is overriding our reality, seeing where self-enjoyment is not being allowed as ourselves or is obstructing our basic responsibilities – it’s all part of equalizing and moderating our reality into what’s best for all.

We can also realize how we cannot dissociate the Equal Money System from this process to create the necessary conditions for such unconditional love to exist.

Loving sounds like law-being, the law of our being is to stand as equals as life and live the words written here.

For more support or discussion, visit de Desteni Forums wherein we’ll be glad to read and support if required within the understanding of the new way of living as Equals as the life that we’re yet to become.

 

thanks for reading.

 

Embracing Self – by Bernard Poolman

Point of reference for this post, some interviews by Bernard Poolman:

How will people be motivated? – Equal Money FAQ

LOVE