Tag Archives: evil nature

453. Raining Down on Everyone’s Parade

 

I had a very revealing dream to myself this night and it’s interesting because I had a brief episode of sickness yesterday and slept quite a long time and I remember seeing this one dream closer to the time of waking up. Anyways what this dream reveals to myself, to the T, is that one aspect of myself that I have seen exists in me in a very almost self-sabotaging manner when it comes to embracing the ‘good stuff’ in life. Throughout these years I’ve shared how I have had a tendency to be comfortable in all things gloom and doom. That’s just how some of us have wired ourselves wherein instead of seeking comfort in the positive and nice fluffy things, we create a comfort in seeing everything wrong, incapable of changing, in a way yes existing in defeatism and seeing ‘no way out’, which I’ve come to understand is a way of yes giving up and not doing the actual work it entails to get things working out, to create something, to move on, to develop, to persevere with what we see in common sense is best for all and so ourselves.

Some of the most obvious aspects of this tendency to remaining in ‘all things gloom and doom’ I have been able to be deliberately changing and you know what, that has been one difficult thing for me to do, because it involves deliberately sticking to see the potential in everything, to deliberately create ways to establish solutions, to deliberately push through something until completion and not giving up on me or others, or life itself.

What emerged in the dream though is something that I had not entirely been able to pin-point even though I’ve been ‘in it’ for I’d say my whole life. How to define this experience in me? How I’ve experienced it and it became this very puzzling sensation in me is how even while being in the most supportive environments on earth, I could not entirely embrace that which I perceived as happiness or wellbeing or enjoyment around me, I FELT that it was quite a fake thing to embrace that expression and potential in me because of thinking/going into my mind and assessing: “hey look at the world, this is not a happy go lucky place, people, animals, life is suffering, what the hell am I doing here just trying to ‘be happy’ and joyful?” This is really not a nice experience because it’s like you can see others genuinely expressing themselves and being enjoying things but I just couldn’t, because of this ‘thorn’ like experience that I had wherein even if at a logical level it made sense and it was cool, there was this something in my experience that would just not embrace it.

This is exactly that one little stingy thing that has been ‘here as myself’ for so long and I hadn’t been able to point it out before, because it’s constantly there, it’s underlying most of the time in my every moment and interaction and how I spot it is how one kind of rejoices when things are going wrong in a way, when more gloom and doom exists and how I get into this very ‘uncomfortable’ experience when seeing growth, development, expansion, potentials, wellbeing… I know, it is even a bit shameful to say so because I have been deliberately advocating for that wellbeing, but I most of the times kept only those that are mostly currently disenfranchised to be given that wellbeing, I have not been entirely including myself in that wellbeing to be honest, I have desired it for others that are having a real bad time on Earth and that’s it. In a way, secretly desiring that the rest of us rather get ‘lemons in life’ for the assholes we’ve been to everyone else that we’ve left behind. Yes, this is a vengeance construct that includes me as the one that shouldn’t be able to ‘enjoy’ anything in life because of who we’ve been and what we’ve created. Yes, this can also be more like a form of punishment, but I here also realize that it doesn’t work as a ‘learning lesson’ if I genuinely wanted to change me and others, we’ve had tons of consequence in this world and we haven’t yet ‘had enough’ of it it seems. So, my logic is all wrong in this case.

But here, what I just wrote above is how we go making up excuses and pointing others as the cause and masking ‘good causes’ with a deep desire for things going wrong in a way, a part of myself has existed as that where whenever there’s any opportunity to ‘plan’ or ‘project’ very cool stuff for others in this world, I just can’t, I blank out, I cannot see further and find it even as too much of an ‘illusion’ to go into such kind of ideas or potentials, and that’s why I have focused on what’s here in the moment, the day to work with but still find it difficult to have this ‘blank slate’ and paint my perfect picture even if I could, even if the world was in that ready-for-creation state… and this as I see it can only mean that I don’t know yet, because I haven’t created it yet and I have to stop seeing it as this very evil/bad thing of myself to freeze out in all things good and potential and not being able to kind of ‘compute’ to it or embrace it, because I haven’t been doing that for myself yet, I haven’t let go of this other ‘vein’ that runs through me that wants to keep everything in a fucked-up status-quo. Yes, not the best thing to say or consider isn’t it? But I have also seen that even if we don’t want to admit this to ourselves, this is how we are wired in our minds for the most part when we are not self-directive, we drive ourselves to an inherent self-sabotage because we actually don’t want to do the work, the effort, the discipline, the changes required to truly embrace and nurture that potential in ourselves… in a way, we want to keep ourselves as addicts of the bad life, in whichever way or form it exists for each one of us.

Is this sad and shameful to realize? Yes it is for myself, absolutely, I was ashamed the moment that I realized in my dream how I was attempting to deliberately ‘bring others down with me’ because of my experience, instead of being the one that steps up to change myself, my experience in that moment and let go of my self-definitions and limitations.

If anything this is what I can define as the ‘evil’ inside me, that can’t rejoice in all things constructive and positive and expansive and supportive, but always awaits to see something going down again, to eventually want it to be broken, to be ‘in the same old’ misery, which is also where it is very much a weird thing for me to say, and this is a part of me that exists in me, that I have been deliberately changing and correcting throughout the years, yet it is still unexplainable if it will ever go away as this underlying experience in me, as the real nature of me that I will have to continually manage and override with a deliberate constant creation of the me that I would be in common sense willing to live and express as myself.

See, why I say the words deliberately creating and considering common sense, because if I didn’t, I would still ‘rather prefer’ – me as the mind – to have things not changing, to stay in a ‘comfort zone’ of self sabotage, of not growing, not expanding, not looking into the future in seeing the potential of what I’d like to be and create – and these are still points I have to look at deeply within me, how even if I am advocating for principled living and doing what’s best, it is something I deliberately do, it’s not natural, I don’t precisely feel ‘comfortable’ doing so all the time and still there are these moments where there’s a part of me that recoils at the notion of something growing, expanding, being happy, cringing at success so to speak…. And I get the image of my grandmother with this, and some other people in my life that I had seen tend to have the same set-up and this is where I realize: I want to stop the cycle of limitation, of pity, of misery, of recoiling at someone else’s thriving experience and here I see how this can be a generational thing as well that we mask with ‘fake gladness’ towards others, yet in the inside it’s like we cannot stand someone’s happiness or wellbeing and thriving… and this is in all cases my definition of that evil that exists in me.

 

 

So yesterday I was chatting with my buddy and I mentioned this point of how there was this interview that was published on Eqafe.com that I absolutely ‘resonated’ with in terms of wanting to get all of the ‘secret stuff’ out in the open to finally see it and acknowledge it, its name is the Consequence of Suppression. And I did tell her in a rhetorical self-questioning, that ‘I’d like to know for myself what those ‘deep secrets’ are’, because there are some say rather ‘meaningless’ stuff that I’ve worked with before in terms of ‘secrets’, but somehow I wasn’t seeing This very point I’ll explain here. So it’s like I made the question and I got a partial answer to it through this dream, which I am quite grateful for.

In this dream I was at my grandmother’s house…. I never liked going there, I didn’t have a good relationship with her either because…. lol! She represented exactly – most likely – this pattern that I am about to explain, so the fact that I was there with my partner and some in my family already was like an interesting set up because I had not dreamed of that house in a long time, even though I didn’t see her there either, she’s dead too. I was told by my mother how we would only make a ‘stop’ there in the house for a short period of time, we were on our way somewhere else, which is why I was ‘ok’ with being there – noticing here already the conditioning aspect. This ‘conditionality’ aspect means to have others do what I say or want based on my preferences, which is one hell of a controlling mechanism that I have imposed onto others around me, big time. Meaning if they said ‘we will be there for a short time’ that should be IT and if other contingencies happen, “I’m sorry, you said this: we must leave now” type of thing.

As we were sitting in the living room, a bunch of unknown species of insects and animals would start flying around and running around, for the most part I would be usually scared of this, but this time I ‘breathed through it’ in the dream, which was interesting even though a part of me just wanted to zap them and get the hell out of there. After that I’d see more people arriving to the house, people I haven’t seen in some years which created some discomfort in me as well, which is revealing too. And the people that were gathering in that same living room had some kids that started running around and in general they were like these ‘good people’ that were happy and enjoying themselves in the moment.

What started happening is that I started just wanting to leave the situation and get away from it all, because it is like the situation was just ‘too perfect’ for ‘me’ as my mind and my experience that almost gets into a discomfort when things are going ‘too well’ in certain situations… yes as weird as it sounds. How I’ve defined it in my mind is that ‘this is too fake, this is too good to be true, I’m out of here’ And in that moment I was expecting my partner to be in that ‘same experience’ but! Nope, actually I’d find him carrying a baby  and playing with the kids and I’d see how he was quite stable and content with it all, so I knew that I would be a real b. if I’d go and tell him to leave them and come away with me and my misery. Some people around me kept trying to interact with me and in a way to make me stay there, but what I saw is how there was a part of me that wanted everyone to just start feeling miserable, bad, negative, to ‘drop the show’ as I perceived it. I wasn’t interested in ‘joining them’ so to speak, no matter how constructive their talks and doings were in that moment.

Then someone else – a male – would take me aside into a different room, a different setting and would simply ask ‘what’s up’? I recognize that question from someone in my life that assisted me a lot to genuinely look inside me and be honest about my experience, so then I would start complaining and half-crying almost like a little kid, all about how ‘everyone was just so happy and well’ and how I wanted everyone to instead consider ME my experience that was uncomfortable in that situation, I wanted everyone to ‘drop their show’ to focus on how I wasn’t doing well, I wanted to stop ‘their good time’ in order to focus on my ‘bad time’ and this is one hell of a pattern in fact.

It reminded me as well of the times when I would throw tantrums as a child for something I perceived my parents forgot to do for me or give me or be there for me, and so whenever they would start apologizing and even giving some stuff to me as a way to redeem themselves, I would throw it all back at them, I would kick and scream and cry and become just really, really irate at the situation. I have explained this before as well and my ‘happiness point’ in that situation was to have them feel like shit for ‘doing this/that to me’ and be terribly sorry and just be at the same level of woe that I was in and ask for forgiveness and stuff like that. So what I wanted in that reunion situation is others to ‘notice me’ and how I feel really bad and almost want to push them to ‘blame themselves’ for ‘making Me feel a certain way.’ Which is what transpired in that situation developing at my grandmother’s home and only when I woke up I kind of pondered how come I hadn’t seen my grandmother there, and saw the obviousness of it… I was embodying that one aspect of her that I completely hated about her, which is related to how even if she had all of her kids with her assisting her, checking up on her constantly, giving her all the money she needed, she would still complain and drown herself into a pity party that was very difficult to get her out of, if not, at all.

So I haven’t actually walked this point for myself, how this aversion I had toward my grandmother is not a childish thing that I created toward her and believing that I am right on that assessment, because sure I have now been able to understand more of her life context and experiences to understand why she was who she was and behaved the way she did. But in me, this almost self-sabotaging experience of wanting to ‘rain down on everyone’s parade’ and have everyone else become equally miserable to My experience… man, that is fucked up to say the least and the ‘frightening’ thing is how this is an underlying experience in me that I hadn’t been able to actually see with clarity.

There had always been this one ‘thing’ as a ‘stuck thorn’ experience that would come up whenever I see anything ‘blooming’ and ‘in happiness’ and in any form of growth, development, expansion… in a deliberate manner I push myself to see the benefits, to see how cool it is that this/that is growing, expanding, enjoying, being just ‘fine’ with themselves and in a situation or environment. Yet me in my experience, like it was in the dream, even if the environment could have been genuinely interesting, comfortable and even inviting for me, I held on to this one bubble of anger, discomfort, resentment point that I was piling up based on how ‘I had been told this was going to be a 5 minute thing, now we seem to be stuck here’ and in a way refusing to ‘give in’ and ‘let go’ of my control aspect, but at the same time almost like wishing and desiring that others could notice how unhappy I was, and have everyone else around me notice that I just wasn’t ‘ok’ as them and so be able to stop their experiences and ‘join me in misery’.

Upon sharing this out loud to my partner I see that this has been that one ‘thorn’ that I’ve experienced basically everywhere and in everything where it seems I cannot genuinely enjoy something, that I cannot fully embrace something that is entirely supportive. And here it is not a point of deserving or anything like that… it is just this constant if I can call it ‘evil’ as a reverse of life really because it creates  a comfort in anything that is not yet ‘there’ in an utmost potential of my own self experience and that of others and everything around me… and how I have assessed it through my mind is that ‘it feels fake, too good to be true, that’s just not how life is’ and in this underlying experience, almost always expecting things to keep going wrong, to keep struggling even though I myself in my directive self and the self that I am deliberately creating for me is well aware of how detrimental is for us to keep ‘falling’ on the same crap, really. Yet I see that there is still this part of me, very suppressed, very ingrained, very underlying but still constantly there where I just can’t seem to be able to enjoy myself fully and completely, I just can’t seem myself to even push myself to envision/visualize myself having ‘all that I need’ in a way that I guess many people can constantly dream of as their ‘perfect lives…’ I don’t have that and I see that as much as I have had moments of genuine enjoyment, there are some ‘wirings’ in me that tell me how that is not real, that is just a passing situation, that is not the reality of life on earth and so kind of eventually suppressing it in a way to keep within this ‘stuckness’ comfort of almost being in this ‘ever-developing’ phase where I can’t seem to fully breakthrough to constructive and supportive stuff, because of how I’ve Defined it as ‘unreal’ as ‘fake’ as ‘not true’ and ‘not congruent’ to the rest of life on Earth.

Though in common sense, why would I want others to be constantly miserable as a way to realize what we’ve done to ourselves and so what needs to be changed? It is not necessary, if anything that stage of being at our ‘very dark bottom of the pit’ is nothing else but a stage from which we have to eventually step out of.  And this is where I know I deliberately place these words because they make sense and it’s the kind of expression I want – as in self-corrected me – to continue nurturing and growing in myself, but if I wrote here as the me that has always been here as ‘my real nature’ so to speak… I would not be bothering, at all.

Therefore how I use the word deliberate as a guiding point for me, realizing I am doing this willingly and deliberately and how it doesn’t come easy because it feels so unnatural, so ‘not me’ but this is precisely the part of me that I consider we all have and that we have to in a way starve to death, we don’t have to feed it anymore and so instead grow, nurture our other aspect of ourselves, that little bit where potential exists, where thriving exists.

And this is also that came up as well when I was recording this hangout of Black Mirror’s season 3, episode Nosedive and this might even be actually a very supportive thing for me to learn to see how others related to the same episode and so use it to reflect a lot more back into myself as to why I became what I became before and so here how to continually and deliberately expand into creating the self that I see is most supportive and constructive for myself and others in equality. We all have that potential, we have to make a deliberate decision to see what do we want to keep supportive within ourselves? The evil, the constructive and supportive or ‘good’ for a lack of better word?  Up to me.

 

Learn and walk with us how to Embrace and Create Life here:

 

Photo of my niece by me, hope she doesn’t mind!

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402. Who am I within Abuse?

I’ve been looking at the word abuse for quite some time now and how we are so used on ‘calling out abuse’ but never really understanding the process as SELF-abuse at all times.

Why do I keep coming back to this topic/word or aspect of ourselves? It seems to be a point within me that I’ve explored only through reading books, using images to depict the consequences that I believe/believed we deserve for abusing ourselves, each other and the planet and how the most shocking revelations within my life came to be within the realization of every single point of abuse being in fact my own expression as well – how? through the understanding of the mind-mechanics, the processes that take place in my mind toward myself, my physical body every time that I participate in thinking, becoming emotional and essentially as we know the usual functioning of our body which also requires energy to exist. The sheer relationship of Energy and how it is created implies a process of friction in order to be created. You can imagine the creation of fire by rubbing to sticks which is essentially creating friction so that the sparks can ignite the dry wood into fire. This is a rather elementary explanation, but this is to understand how it is that the creation of energy in itself is not a self-supportive process – once you burn the twigs or wood, you consume it, it transforms into ashes. Well, the same happens with ourselves and our bodies with all the energy we create every time we participate in the mind through emotions/feelings or thoughts that are also charged with an experience in them. Essentially we create our internal ‘oil spills’ in our body, even when one can get angry for calling out abuse so, this is how it is rather necessary to understand this process of SELF-Abuse before even being willing to ‘call out on abuse’

 

Facing the Evil of OUrselves

 

 

Energy is also the motive, the driving force in our outside world and we’ve even created a structure, a belief system to represent it, it is the monetary system that we’ve used to essentially control and define power, and as such we have enslaved us through making it only available to those that work hard for it – apparently – or those that can give themselves the right to print it by their divine hand. Is that abuse? Well yes first of all because we’re using trees to create such ‘money’ but also because it is meant to precisely limit the access to our living resources. It is thus why we are so bound to it, we live in constant fear of survival and that’s for sure another way of abusing each other through this structural violence we have created as our current world system where either you work and/or cheat or die.

Isn’t that the sheer definition of abuse? Yes, it is and we collectively participate in this religion, where we have collectively decided that ‘some’ must have all the control over it, while the rest live a life of misery, struggle and suffering to get that paper that some can simply print or put in as numbers in a bank account…. Yes, you as I can breathe after saying/reading this as one can see the level of abuse that is accepted and allowed yet legitimized as ‘how things operate’ apparently, with no ‘change’ being made possible.

 

Now, what I’ve found throughout this process to be a challenge is to not create separation towards those that I’ve defined as abusive, even though one can find out and see the evidence of such abuse and can even witness with one’s own eyes – ‘they’ the ‘abusers’ are also myself. This is a humbling experience, maybe one that initially I would not want to fully embrace as it’s become such an ingrained thing to just ‘point fingers at another’ and blame them for what they’ve done, to be disgusted at ‘them’ but there is really no ‘them’ here – ‘they’ are also myself, yet at the same time each one will be individually accountable for what each one has accepted and allowed and how such point of abuse affected the totality of what is here.The shame, the guilt, the regret, the damnation upon myself and everyone else that stemmed from that moment I’ve rather turned it into a test for my stability, an opening, an awareness to get to know of and investigate any other form of abuse that I had previously neglected as part of myself as well.

 

We do it to ourselves

 

Seems we haven’t gotten sufficient consequences already in our world and reality because we haven’t changed much even with major threats of even our own extermination if we continue to live in these abusive ways.

So far, investigating the abuse, the evil, the abject of our reality is rather  of empowering too as a point where we no longer fear ourselves, our real nature but instead can – for a lack of a better expression – embrace it, understand it and within such understanding, finally be able to self-forgive it, finally be able to let go of any reaction that may emerge when taking a look at our ‘dark side’ which we’ve only feared looking at without realizing that that’s where the actual ‘truth’ of ourselves resides in, and not a truth to remain as it is and simply ‘embrace it’ as a form of acceptance – no, not at all, but as a necessary realization that will and is causing unbearable shocks and pain in this world. Maybe it is necessary to have this shock be profound or else, we will forget it all over again as we’ve done generation after generation, coming into this world and fitting ourselves into the vilest forms of coexistence while painting it with flowers and seeing it as ‘normal’ just because that is what we see and hear all around us as the way to survive, ‘the way things are’ and have believed we’ll ‘always be,’ which I am here to ensure it does not remain as such ‘status quo.’

 

Whenever I witness something that is shocking, something that I have considered to be too cruel, too vile, too sad to be truth as part of our ‘human nature,’ I tend to see it as a separate expression from myself, as if it was only ‘someone else’s twisted deeds, without realizing that it is actually part of who and what we have become as the very nature of ourselves being that of evil, as the reverse of life. Now, I understand this might sound rather pessimistic to our usual deep desires to not have to face the side of ourselves that we tend to occult/hide with positivity and ‘good thoughts’ –  but it isn’t pessimistic at all, it’s who we are and have become –  one only has to look at the actual nature of one’s thoughts to understand then the ‘nature of the system’ and our ‘human nature’ that we’ve justified and excused for far too long.

abuse
1    use to bad effect or for a bad purpose.
2    treat with cruelty or violence. Ø assault sexually.
3    address in an insulting and offensive way.

1    the improper use of something.
2    cruel and violent treatment. Ø sexual assault.
3    insulting and offensive language.

 

I could define abuse as plain evil, the reverse of life, as in acting in a way that one can understand is not honoring and respecting something or someone, doing deliberate harm in order to get some form of personal gain – this is the nature that exists within each other’s mind and we haven’t yet been fully able to admit it and take responsibility for it. The sole ability to live the word abuse in our very own thinking patterns, behaviors and relationships with one another certainly creates the general atmosphere that we all breathe in and out of, it’s what we create as our reality of disregard, self-interest, greed, wanting more, wanting to abuse another to have some more, be better and superior than, be the king of it all, do the least effort, being the winner, the master, the god…

 

God won't save the queen now

 

 

Can I imagine a world without abuse?

It’s hard to conceive because we haven’t ever actually ‘lived’ without abusing, and that makes us ponder how much of ourselves would change if we had such ‘human abusive nature’ be transformed into the principle and consideration of what is best for all. However before jumping into such ‘utopia’ that it may appear to be, I’d rather keep disclosing what I’ve realized when watching certain movies or series where abuse is rather notorious.

 

When watching bits of The Act of Killing for a second time, I realized that what I was witnessing is in fact what has existed as our sole human nature since the beginning of our time and that Anwar – the main ‘character’ of the documentary – is in fact each one of us. We can’t remember our several lifetimes we’ve been here before, doing the same, repeating the same mistakes, committing the same abuse and then coming back and believing we have never done anything wrong and believing that there can be actual innocent individuals within this, whereas I can only conceive why we are here on Earth as a result of us being the ones that have actually abused for eons on time and are here to learn a very tough lesson: to face ourselves, our nature, our – probably – irremediable consequences up until the last drop of water dries up.

 

In my experience, I could see before how any form of abuse outraged me, however I thought myself to be a pristine righteous good and ‘noble’ individual until I started deconstructing myself and was able to see my own ‘evil’ as the reverse of life and how my ‘good intentions’ were tainted with self interest all over. If anything, I am interested in getting to know more about all the ‘dark side’ of our human psyche that we’ve hid from one another as that is where the actual crème of our human nature resides in. This means being able to confront that which I many times simply deliberately avoided looking at or getting to know of.

 

My first attendance to a protest was in 2006 where our governor was accused of being a pederast upon a recording that made national or maybe even international news and so, we the ‘indignados’ marched around the city hall asking him to quit – which he never did and I can only remember how even if I was already old enough to understand what being a pederast means, I could still not fathom why could that be something ‘attractive’ or exciting to an adult. Another point is the feminicide, the Muertas de Juárez, the ladies that were kidnapped/disappeared, killed and dropped around in the city like disposable objects after being used for rather unusual purposes. I once was at a conference wherein the reality of the nature of these killings was explained and I was shocked to the core of how authorities seemed to be implicated in these crimes and that’s why no one dared to speak up – that’s the first time I realized that I had been truly living a lie when it comes to ‘authorities’ and it was closer than I thought. There were mentions of satanic rituals and sadist masochism evidence on the women’s bodies,  which has now become part of our ‘pop culture’ with books like 50 shades of gray and completely mellowing the actual core of the abuse to transform it into an ‘exciting’ new way to spark up your sex life. Well, who has heard about the muertas of Juarez being part of these ritual abuses based on the evidence on the girls’ corpses? Not many, we fear being quieted down by authorities, and so we keep quiet. And within this: would blowing the whistle on this change the entire crime networks that exist around the world related to pedophiles, pornography, snuff films, satanic rituals and secret societies? Becoming aware of something is a starting point, but in the end the actual change to prevent it will have to exist at an individual level taking responsibility for such abuses. If anything we are becoming more aware of what is possible in our world and it’s also fascinating to see that this is hitting ‘mainstream’ with series like True Detective.

My perspective of why we are so drawn and fascinated by the ‘occult’ which means that which is hidden or obscured from seeing the broad daylight is because we actually fear looking at it, and so the experience of fear is what we turn into some form of attraction which then becomes part of our morbidity to all deviances and rather ‘morbid fascinations’ as I call them, in which we also try to ‘push the boundaries’ of what is socially acceptable which is sometimes done in an attempt to ‘break the spell’ of the usual happy-go-lucky mentality that is peddled around in order to sell, buy, consume, repeat and be ignorantly happy.

 

I’m still a bit intrigued as to how a show like True Detective made it into mainstream. It apparently ends in a ‘good way’ but it only scratches the dirt of a nail of the actual problem. It does, however, make more evident what is already part of our mainstream without being fully aware of it, such as the symbolism, the ‘lifestyles’ that we have come to see as ‘part of our culture’ and no longer any form of ‘conspiracy theory,’ but it is instead a way to make evident the decay of our human nature – maybe we have to hit the rock bottom so that once we get to be aware of and understand the vilest forms of existence that we’ve become, we can start pondering how the hell we allowed ourselves to go down the spiral without awareness of the actual consequences which are measurable in, for example,  kids today learning that being bad is rather cool, isn’t it? Being vile is the new trend, being a rebel, opposing the laws and ‘doing as you will’ which is the ultimate statement of disregard of the principle that in fact governs us all: oneness and equality, which is at the moment rather far from us waking up to realize the kind of crimes we’ve been committing against life on a daily basis, every single time we are not even aware of how we are actually and literally one and equal, part of the whole.

 

Girl Interrupted by Ultra Violence

 

In our minds we have concocted our inner most twisted fantasies that we have defended as ‘our own will’ whereas in the absolute realm of the whole there is no such thing as individual will, but only the creation of personal delusions in the name of excitement, of the illusion of power, of control, of rejoicing in believing one has some form of ‘control’ or can ‘possess’ something or someone.

I also see the necessity to unveil even the most scary, cruel, filthy, shaming stories of what we have become as human beings in order to look beyond our threshold o fears and understand what it is that happens when we allow our minds to run rampant and ‘get away with murder’ in a literal manner.

As I was mentioning, witnessing our real human nature even in fiction stories implies there’s part of us being depicted of course, as it is created in another human’s mind – so, nothing is really ‘detached’ from ourselves and as such even when we ‘thank god’ that ‘I am NOT THAT criminal, that abuser, that person in power committing heinous crimes against life’ – let’s ‘think’ again and rather realize it is ourselves doing it all along, we just like to pretend we are not, so that we can feel ‘less bad’ about ourselves. But as long as we hold on to an idea of perfection and looking at all the marvelous things we can be and become Without investigating the actuality, the real nature, the nitty gritty and not so pretty nature that exists within ourselves: nothing will in fact genuinely change.

I see the unveiling, the ‘apocalypse’ as the process we are going through right now, more and more evident and  ‘seeping through the cracks’ in our daily lives as it is now everywhere: in mass media, music, our behaviors, trends, habits everything that is being pushed as part of a larger agenda that is equally lost in its aim, not realizing that any person in a current perceived ‘position of power’ is none other than part of the chess game that was laid out long before even the notion of the ‘elites’ on Earth existed. This is our masterpiece, the world-system on this Earth, the end result of our wildest fantasies, dreams and fascinations and one can only look at how we are genuinely trashing ourselves, the world and our very own bodies every time that we give into the hypnotic state of  wanting to ‘feel good,’ wanting to ‘feel happy’ and ignore reality, a reality that I am certain if I could hear it in fact would be screaming in agony and pondering why the hell we are so bubbled-up that we cannot actually SEE every single form of abuse that we create within and without ourselves as our very own nature and in turn how nature itself operates as a reflection of such mechanism of abuse too, our own conditioning.

In this, I can only point out the role of the ‘younger’ detectives in True Detective –the ones that were interrogating Rustin Cohle -as the ones that try to mislead from getting to know the most vile nature of our reality, trying to make of ritualistic abuse and other forms of human nastiness as some kind of ‘sick joke’ or a thing for ‘conspiracy theorists and loonies,’ however, it is about time this is known so that the major well-kept masks in this world can fall, but not only those of the people in ‘greater powers’ and institutions, but of ourselves, to finally be able to confront and accept the fact that the ‘abusers’ are not ‘out there’ but inside of us, each one of us and so be able to integrate some humbleness to understand how it is that we have pointed fingers outside of ourselves and created ‘fiction’ stories to be able to swallow the truth in a less ‘offensive’ or ‘embarrassing’ way, because we are still too scared to realize our responsibility for it all.

 

God Bless the Child

 

It can also start by pondering when we get excited upon witnessing violence – which does happen/still exist – such as people that like to witness bulls being bullied/harassed/abused and killed in what is called the ‘fiesta brava’ or bullfights. The same with how in pedophile circles the participants rejoice seeing a baby or a kid being sexually abused. The same with the ‘excitement’ that sexual abuse creates in the abuser, or killing/murdering others, or setting off a bomb… this is what exists today and yes it is mostly linked to the idea of ‘power’ and having some well concocted reasons to justify it. I mean, how more blind do we have to be to not see and realize this?

So, this is not something to be feared or denied about ourselves as human beings, it is about understanding that even the most vile and atrocious nature of ourselves exists as a potential within each one of us, the same way that the most common sensical and benevolent potential exists within each one of us too and so, being rather willing to face our True Nature to begin self-forgiving it and redirecting it and so be self-directive within our minds, our ‘human nature’ as to stop all forms of self-abuse – which is to be understood and realized as the abuse upon myself or others, all equally affected.

 

 

Self Forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel disgust, anger and also sadness when getting to know the extent of abuse that we can impose onto another that we haven’t recognized as ourselves and so doing so within the ignorance of who we all are as equals and how any point of abuse upon ‘another’ is in fact toward oneself.

I realize that my reactions to abuse create further abuse and as such, I have to be able to witness, get to know and realize the abuse we have created without giving into powerlessness, sadness, anger or even wanting to blame others for such abuse as reactions won’t ever solve the problem. I only can solve the problem first by stopping my own emotional experience, and then seeing who am I and where am I existing in relation to that problem myself.

I commit myself to then see what it would take for me to contribute to stopping such abuse and if it is ‘outside of my hands’ at the moment, I then focus on rather informing myself, becoming aware of how we have created such problem/point of abuse as well as supporting others to become aware of it so that through creating this awareness, we can altogether look at solutions that we can all implement – for example – through politics which implies the power of many joining toward the same outcome as one person alone cannot be ‘the one point of change’ only but it is through joining forces that we can certainly stand up and correct any point of abuse within ourselves first and then without.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience disbelief when it comes to realizing what I’ve become as a human being, the extent of disregard, neglect, harm, abuse, the additive search for power and control even if it goes against the majority of the living beings in this world.

I realize instead that this is the very mechanism in which we have come to exist and function as individuals and as such, there is no way to escape the reality and the facts, and wishing that things could be different because even if things could suddenly seem ‘better,’ I would still have to see if such ‘change’ is in fact self-change or just a new positive façade so as to not worry about the actual source and core of the problem which is always existent within ourselves, as the very nature of who we have become as our own minds, as the separation of self.

 

I commit myself to be able to see things that happen in my world without creating an experience about it, without becoming emotional about it as that’s where I see one loses ground and becomes part of the problem – therefore I direct myself to understand the situation, the cause, the problem and investigate within myself how I have contributed to this, how I am equally responsible and as such simply commit myself to do my part to stop such point of abuse even at the thought level.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see abuse in separation of myself, as if it was only some ‘powerful ones’ imposing it toward us/everyone else, instead of realizing myself as them as well doing all of that harm and abuse and existing as a fellow human being which I would have also hated back in an attempt to deny who I am in relation to them too, which is being also them, being one and equal to ‘them’ who I have defined as ‘being evil/bad/wrong’ in separation of myself as a denial of what exists here as myself.

I realize that denying or judging or reacting to a point of information, to someone else’s actions and words will do nothing for me to create a substantial change but that real change implies I stop, I ensure I do not react to this so that I am able to look at this point in full presence and stability so as to see the ‘full picture’ that’s entailed in any point of abuse for example, to see the ‘greater picture’ to not get fixated on a particular set of beings/people/actions but understand abuse from the greater context as who we are and have become generally.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within realizing this wanting to become defensive and distrustful toward others and go back to existing in the ‘fear toward the evil of humanity’ as some ingrained pattern I had walked through before. I realize that this is just me in my mind wanting to jump on to another ‘mindset’ as a false sense of security which doesn’t make sense at all.

 

Therefore I see and realize that I have to remain as breath, to be physically present and  not get caught up in memories and reactions or experiences but ensure I am seeing the point through the eyes of the physical, which means the eyes of understanding and so realizing that the chain massacre of abuse will be stopped from the moment that I decide to no longer acknowledge abuse as a point to react to in an emotional way as that would be like being separate to that which I am creating an experience of, because in recognizing everything as myself then creating an experience is like having schizophrenia really, reacting toward myself. So,

I commit myself to live the realization of being present as breath while witnessing something that I have defined as abuse, seeing information that relates to abusing ourselves which in such case I mean, If I was fully aware of everything that goes in this reality, I would constantly be crying or angry as everything that is here is existent as this point of abuse and so, it’s rather obvious that we cannot go on like this, we have to be able to rather focus on understanding to be able to prevent the problem from its root cause.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as desensitized when not reacting any longer to the various stories and mechanisms of abuse, as if I had been ‘cured’ of creating any form of freight or disgust at the same time, but I do have to be very wary of this point so as to not be repressing my experiences and not really seeing who I am in relation to the information that I come to know of, the images, the proofs and how everything fits to the outcomes of an ‘evil plot’ in which we exist as and of which we understand its sole purpose of which was to be enslaved and generate energy for someone that we accepted and allowed to upgrade into the level of a god. This is then the consequential outflow of having had no regard toward each other as equals, of having abdicated my responsibility to it all and creating polarities where winners and losers can exist, where elites and populace can exist, where money can dictate who gets abused and in which ways as well as the ‘power’ that perpetuates such inequality, such as ‘privileges’ and ‘benefits’ that are only existent for a few while the majority gets nothing but, we also have to transcend that me vs. them mentality here if we want to truly focus on change, so

I commit myself to focus on change within and as myself and no longer contrast it or compare it toward those that ‘have nothing’ or those that ‘have all the power’ but see myself as an equal participant within this all which means, no longer seeing through the eyes of the mind but acknowledging my part and so live my part that I am responsible for such as my words, thoughts, actions.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever believe that everything was ‘fine’ in this world wherein I lived in a rather narrow view and rather brainwashed perspective of our history, the stories of our origin and believing that we were meant to be and do good, without realizing that it’s actually the exact opposite what we’ve done all along and that it is only through being able to let go of this idea of goodness or benevolence and ‘evil’ at the same time that I can see facts/actions/words for what they are and imply without judgment, without segregation or creating an experience toward them.

I commit myself to focus on rather seeing HOW we came to create such point of abuse and considering it within all the points that I realize I have to take care of when it comes to aligning my life within and as the principle of considering all parts equally as myself and doing my part as well in this life which begins by taking responsibility for myself, my actions and ensuring I consider what is best for all in what I think, do and speak

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have that inherent tendency to want to have ‘nothing to do’ with abuse and not wanting to recognize myself as part of that abuse because I have judged it as wrong along with an experience that implies that ‘I am right.’

I realize that abuse is collectively accepted and allowed, as well as understanding that abuse has become the very way we live and act, and as such rather become aware of this necessary starting point to begin questioning everything that we have also deemed we were doing for the sake of being ‘benevolent’ or ‘doing good’ as I’ve also seen throughout this process that these are the most deceptive points where the actual ‘evil’ or the actual point of harm or abuse is hidden behind a positive façade so as to justify it and excuse it.

 

I commit myself to ‘embrace’ this ‘evil’ as myself not from the point of accepting and allowing it or giving continuation to it, but as a way to no longer react to it as it is in fact myself I would be reacting to, and instead focus on what I can direct within myself which is beginning with my own mind, my own life and so my participation in this world system being based on externalizing those points of self responsibility, accountability, no harm and no abuse upon others which is the principle of doing onto others as I would like to be done onto myself.

I realize as well that even the very food/water/animals/air that I breathe I’ve come to abuse as well, so within this I have to also be willing to face the abuse that goes on at even a microscopic level within the very mechanisms of how I digest my food or how I have to use water every single day and so not react to it but understand how we came to be enslaved in essence to our own abuse.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sometimes hold on to this point of acknowledging abuse as a way to also prevent me from seeing ‘how things could be if this abuse is stopped’ which I have defined as being rather ‘hard’ to imagine everyone being self-responsible and acting in the best interest of everyone, but I realize that this is the kind of pessimism I have also become so used to existing as. So

I commit myself to allow myself to realize that I cannot imagine something that I haven’t been able to live by and prove for myself, so I don’t need to imagine as much as I need to focus on myself, on being that example and that point of stopping abuse within myself and so stand as it and as a pillar of support for anyone else that also decides to become a 1+ living proof and example of what it means to live in a self-supportive and considerate manner within the principle of what is best for all as equals.

 

Supportive Material:

 

  1.  Reptilians – The Key to Life Through Evil (Part 1) – Part 111

  2. Reptilians – The Key to Life Through Evil (Part 2) – Part 112

5. Deer Human

 

Investigate who we are as a group of people committed to take responsibility and prevent further abuse in this world:

 

 

 

 


386. War Crimes are Born in the Mind

A reflection on Errol Morris’ “The Unknown Known” a documentary about Donald Rumsfeld

“n THE UNKNOWN KNOWN, Academy Award-winning director Errol Morris (THE FOG OF WAR) offers a mesmerizing portrait of Donald Rumsfeld, the larger-than-life figure who served as George W. Bush’s secretary of defense and as the principal architect of the Iraq War. Rather than conducting a conventional interview, Morris has Rumsfeld perform and explain his “snowflakes” — the enormous archive of memos he wrote across almost fifty years in Congress, the White House, in business, and twice at the Pentagon. The memos provide a window into history — not as it actually happened, but as Rumsfeld wants us to see it. By focusing on the “snowflakes,” with their conundrums and their contradictions, Morris takes us where few have ever been — beyond the web of words into the unfamiliar terrain of Rumsfeld’s mind. THE UNKNOWN KNOWN presents history from the inside out. It shows how the ideas, the fears, and the certainties of one man, written out on paper, transformed America, changed the course of history — and led to war.”

 

When I directed myself to watch this documentary on Donald Rumsfeld’s mind I realized I was in ‘for a ride’ when it comes to being ‘face to face’ – in the cinema, with only some 10 other people in it –watching and hearing, getting to know more about an individual that has developed and affinity to justify wars, torture and overall abuse through his self-rewarding ability to redefine words and cunningly deceitful use of language – this means what he makes a word to mean, is what the word will mean and become, because he says so and so he thinks, therefore he is, and so he makes up his own excuses, reasons and justifications to make his actions and decisions seem right and be able to sleep well at night.

 

See, the confrontation for me begun when once again seeing and realizing how words can be used as double edge swords and how everything can be twisted according to how we define (read: limit, tergiversate, compromise, abuse and even harm) reality through words, and how such words become part of our reality through someone’s decision to change what it means to instigate war through generating doubt and the justification for such doubt.

When I first realized this situation in relation to words and how they essentially define our relationship toward everything in reality several years ago,  it was one of those shocking revelations in my life and I used it as an excuse to further my desire to step-away from ‘the evil man-made system’ and seeing words as human dictatorship. Well, this pattern was again experimented when seeing the absolute obsession and overall madness that Rumsfeld shares with us through this great documentary that Errol Morris managed to get Rumsfeld comply to do over 20 hours of recordings for it. I had too many questions as to how such a political figure had agreed to do this documentary and only through watching this interview I filled-in the gaps; I also realized how cunning Morris is to provide us with this ‘psychopathic’ view of a human mind obsessed with power and war and yet believe that everything is absolutely alright with it. I also suggest watching it:

 

 

Is it only Rumsfeld that is a ‘psychopath’?

Throughout the documentary I heard and read Rumsfeld’s memo-creations and how he would have this severe obsession to redefine words to suit his Machiavellian agenda, to make sure things would sound ‘good’ to him, to believe he was following a greater purpose where any form of actual abuse and plain evil simply did not exist to him, because to him he was following the right to defend his nation, to ‘do the right thing’ according to what he has defined ‘right’ and what he has defined ‘good’ to be. And this is where I could identify the massive cognitive dissonance that doesn’t only exist in Rumsfeld, and it’s certainly not only about ‘him’ as an individual only.

This documentary reveals the nature of what I’ve realized throughout these years is who we are and have become as human beings within our minds, a consciousness system that programs itself to define, shape, mold and forge a view of reality that in this case makes him feel ‘good’ about himself, without having any real consideration or I dare say ‘care’ about the effect of his words upon physical reality. When realizing this, I have to apply the golden rule of taking the point back to self and seeing myself also as a human being that also has a mind and that also has abused words and definitions to further my own interests, what I think and want to believe is right and righteous, without considering at all how my words, thoughts and deeds will affect others – and in Rumsfeld’s position as Secretary of Defense during the George W. Bush era, he became the decisive factor and voice that would call for wars that are till this day ongoing in one way or another. 

But, once again, is it really only ‘him’? Or is it the entire collective accepted and allowed disposition of such ‘power’ by only a few?A person in such position can only exist if the rest of the people accept and allow it. Therefore I realize that I have actually become part of the collective compliance to this discourse that justifies wars waged in the benefit of a few individuals, where trillions of dollars are spent on death and destruction, sucking dry any sort of solvency for a world-wide economy that is in shambles at the moment. And yes, even if I am ‘against war’ by becoming angry about what a few people can do in their position, I only further the problem by becoming ‘angry’ at them or the United States as a nation, since I have also come to realize how there is a greater-construct to this all where from the beginning of our time, we accepted this massive enslavement to our mind, to ‘the system’ as the reflection of our mind, one system that we are now beginning to wake up and realize how detrimental it is to life in general, and so blaming people like Rumsfeld for depicting the image and likeness of our current ‘human nature’ is rather pointless and without any solution to it.

 

At times throughout the documentary I wanted to scream and shout how this is absolute nonsense and how we have ‘psychopaths’ in our governmental spheres, but every single time as I was watching I would also bring myself back to see and consider the ‘bigger picture’ where it’s not about ‘him’ only, it’s about what each one of us has been and become as a mind system that cares about nothing else but our own self, our benefits, our desires, what we Think is right, what makes us special and in this case intelligent with the use of words. And that’s the trick, in his mind there is no consideration of the consequences, the actual suffering that people actually go through after he declares wars and ‘acceptable’ ways of torture, that’s because the position he was in became a nice money-secured bubble to evade reality and consequences, and such war crimes are justified as ‘defense’ mechanisms, which I also realized we live by at an individual level, where I can make any sort of excuse and justification to not have to take responsibility for my own thoughts, words and deeds.

 

And this is where I am able to also forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to react in any way with scorn, anger, frustration and plain disbelief when seeing how nonchalant this character was when speaking about how some things work and some others don’t work when being asked about war crimes, invasions and the supposed arsenal of chemical weapons of mass destruction he claimed Hussein’s regime had in order to wage war against Iraq. This is a man that – as any other political-figure within the current set-up of this system – has developed the skills to talk an entire nation into agreeing to go to war, believing that what he decides and does is somehow the right thing to do, because it Sounds good, it Feels good to him. He also likes to twist words around and say things like “The Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence” when being asked about the existence of WMD in Iraq, which can leave people pondering and thus complying to such possibilities just because it sounds like ‘he’s got a point’ – isn’t it? And so one falls for it as well. This documentary is an excellent way to see how propaganda is created and yes, it all begins with redefining words to our surprise.

 

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to covertly use anger as a way to blame Rumsfeld for initiating the war on Iraq, without realizing it is actually blame for having accepted and allowed the continuation of this current world system where we only seek how to make the most money, to have the most power and in this realizing that in his position, I would have most likely done the exact same thing as it is about understanding his position, his context, his preprogrammed design as one of the ‘locks’ in the system to perpetuate wars and conflicts, using words to justify and excuse them because that is how I can make even the most atrocious act seem ‘right’ if backed with proper ideas, beliefs and justifications – I have a mind and so did he and everyone else, so it’s about learning how to self-forgive each other’s actions and instead focus on how to correct them and never again allow this to repeat again, I begin with taking responsibility for my own thoughts, words and deeds.

 

Philosophical egg

 

 

In Rumsfeld’s case, the words written and advised by him to the presidents of the United States throughout the years came to manifest the most atrocious wars and tortures that the US has conducted as part of their foreign policy of ‘defense’ – though,  he has not lived a war, he has not seen first hand the horrors that people in Abu Ghraib were forced to experience, he was not the one hung like Sadam, he was not witnessing what a detainee in Guantanamo bay goes through every day, he’s not the marines sent to kill and destroy Iraq, he was only suspecting what would sound right to do as the idea of being the Defense Secretary in the delusional ‘father of the world’ and ‘first power’ nation of the United States – a position we have all collectively accepted and allowed as well.

Can I blame him? or Should we blame him? Blame only leads to dissociating ourselves from the problem, to not see how it is that for another’s lies to become truth there must be everyone else that listens, reads and obeys the lies as facts, as truth and so blindly agreeing to it – and that’s what makes us all co-participants in any decision conducted by Rumsfeld or any other person in decision-making roles that reflect back our own ability to be directed and controlled because we haven’t been able to take such position for and by ourselves yet. Being a ‘psychopath’ implies a general term that can be applied to every single one of us, because the sheer fact of existing in the mind already makes us all criminals, liars, abusers, schizophrenic and self-interested human beings where we have imposed  an entire ‘regime’ with words upon reality, causing the problems that we are all facing nowadays due to not considering the consequences of our individual actions. The truth is uncomfortable, shocking, not nice and not pretty however it is necessary to stop seeing others as ‘the ones to blame’ and instead focus on recognizing my responsibility, our responsibility to this as a collective.

 

Rumsfeld’s obsession to always seeming to do ‘the right thing’ is what I have realized I tend to do when I use all sorts of justifications, excuses, reasons and beliefs as to why I want to continue doing or saying something that we already know is not so, it’s not beneficial for ourselves and everyone else, is self-interest based – but who cares?? If I say it is ‘right’ and it’s ‘good’ then it must be so because I believe so, I say so! A quixotic mind, a righteous mind, a conceited mind, a selfish mind… however who isn’t like that in this world? Who hasn’t ever lived within a constant experience that we are right and everyone else is wrong? when we believe that everything we do is for some kind of greater good without taking others into consideration…

One can only watch the Morris interview above and see how the one thing that Rumsfeld disagreed with the documentary after watching it and pointed it out as ‘a serious problem’ was…. his tie. That also exemplifies how it is that when we have forged our mind through believing our lies, and we become them, we can no longer spot the lie, the deceit within us, we can no longer see right from wrong, there’s no values or principles because all of that has been redefined to suit personal self interest and delusions of power. Again, sounds familiar isn’t it?

This is humanity’s grave disease, and so we’re really no different to Rumsfeld no matter how many might read this and say ‘WHAAT? NO WAY!!’ Well, again,  the truth is not pretty or beautiful, however it is the first step to then begin seeing ourselves in the mirror of Rumsfeld’s mind where I see I have tacitly accepted and allow all of atrocities when it comes to this world, our money system, our financial system bubble, our religions, our emotions and feelings, our thoughts, our illusions and imaginations in the mind as something meaningful and true, that which makes us ‘who we really are’….

I realize I am certainly no different to any other human being, even those that I deem as the most atrocious people, the ‘psychopaths’ can only lead me back to the marvelous golden rule: Take it all Back to Self – what does this imply? That everything that I say, think or believe about ‘others’ and ‘their mind’ is in fact revealing the truth of what exists within myself. I have no problem realizing this because it is only through realizing this that I’ve been able to then take aaalll reactions experienced throughout the documentary back to understanding that I cannot judge others because myself or anyone else would have probably done the exact same things Rumsfeld has done if we had been in his shoes, his preprogrammed position as part of the ‘gatekeepers’ of the system which in itself is a delusion that can only be ‘kept in place’ by collectively agreeing his position to be real, to be legitimized. Hence the importance of understanding cognitive dissonance and the use of words to keep our self-interest intact, to remain blinded by the meanings that we choose to give to words regardless of its effects in real life when lived out.

 

Casting-out the spells or Out-casting the spells

What I can learn from this documentary is how to prevent the level of personal delusion we all have the potential to live out in our lives. We all carry a mind filled with thoughts, beliefs, perceptions,  feelings and emotions along with the particular definitions we have attached to them, including images and memories as the decisive factors that determine ‘our nature,’ the ‘who we are’ as my personality, my choices, my preferences, my beliefs.  So, what I suggest doing after one watches or becomes aware of any atrocity ‘someone else’ has committed in this world, one can begin with being willing to be objective about who we are, what we have become, what we believe words mean and so begin a process of scrutinizing everything we’ve believed ourselves to be up to now as individuals and go measuring it all with the principle of common sense to see whether every thought, belief, idea/ideology, perception and experience is in fact something that is beneficial for oneself and others too. Maybe some might think: but what if you define common sense as something different to what you think it ‘should be’? and this is where we as human beings could redefine common sense as what is best for all, as that which will harm no one when lived out in physical reality. An ideology, a belief always has an interest behind it and that is already separation. An example is how the belief in requiring to ‘defend a nation from potential attacks’ leads to justifying war and war has become a profitable business. And that’s what Rumsfeld became an expert of convincing people to support.

If we take the principles of no harm, no abuse, doing onto others what we would like to be done onto ourselves then our ability to use words in our own common benefit can be conducted. However at the moment, the misuse, misinterpretation and deliberate abuse of words have led us to co-create this world where we’ve all suffered of massive cognitive dissonance when our minds, beliefs, ideas do not match physical reality and so,we further down the problem by adding more ideas, beliefs and perceptions to evade realizing the core and source of the problem which I’ve realized it’s always the consideration of taking responsibility for what I think, I do and say.

An example is how the word ‘democracy’ has become a mockery now, a ‘tag line’ for the United States of America to go and ‘promote freedom and democracy’ in any other country that isn’t following their preferred form of regime… and so what happens is that a word like democracy becomes an excuse for war, something that people then even say ‘they don’t ever want to hear again’ because of how it is being misused and misaligned to what it should really mean as the power of the people for the people. We haven’t lived that word yet at all. And that’s the point of sharing this all.

 

So in order to establish some common sense in what I think, believe and perceive is correct, I require to begin understanding more about my own mind, why we have all blindly accepted every single thought we’ve believed ‘we are’ as ‘true’ and ‘real’ –  why we have accepted a world system where we kill life in the name of an equally fairy-tale bubble-thinking creation called ‘money’ and ‘power’ which we’ve made as very real the moment that we denied food to someone if they don’t have a printed paper with a number in it… or how wars are waged in the name of making people believe there are ‘enemies’ wanting to harm others and so through spreading a lie. The greatest atrocities are committed in the world with public consent, because we collectively believe it is right. And also everyone that might consider themselves as ‘knowing better’ than following the political rule of thumb…  the sheer fact that each one of us possesses a mind and fails to propose sound solutions to terminate this mass hypnosis and programming we’re running ourselves by already makes us equally enslaved, mostly because we’ve still believed that by knowing ‘the truth’ already makes us ‘free’ – but reality works in a different manner where it is about realizing that freedom and democracy won’t come by waging wars nor by understanding the fallacy those words have become – but instead by implementing, building, creating an actual way in which to implement these changes in each one of us to then create them as our responsibility to this world and reality.

 

The title of the documentary is one of those riddle-like phrases that Rumsfeld uses to confuse and divert the attention from any form of truth, it becomes a philosophical mind game that blinds then the physicality of the consequences created by such word-abuse. And yes, I’ve seen how we all participate in this one way or another because I get results, because ‘it works’ and because ‘I get away with murder.’ Even the slightest belief, idea and perception is already using the same mind mechanisms that any other ‘mass murderer’ uses, and as such I can only begin humbling myself  in relation to what we have collectively accepted and allowed within our minds and how we’ve imposed it onto reality, and how it is through realizing this that we now also have the great and imperative task of taking responsibility for the lies, the cognitive dissonance, the belief systems, the misused words and redirect every one of them to become a true example of what it means to Live a word in the consideration of what is best for all.

 

Whenever I see myself judging, blaming, creating anger and stress out just by seeing/watching and witnessing what kind of lies and atrocities another being can express and conduct in a nonchalant way, I stop myself from pointing fingers at another and I breathe. I realize that I am only angry at myself, at the realization of who I am and have become as an equal part of humanity, a human being that has perpetuated the lie by existing as a mind wherein I believed that I was always ‘right’ and I could always justify all means to get to my ends, to not entirely care about the consequences of my wishes, desires, wants, needs and beliefs because I also have become an equal part of the game where I have lied to myself and deceived myself in order to maintain this world-system in place as is. Therefore, I realize that I am no different to the person I am judging and blaming or tagging as ‘schizophrenic’ and ‘pathological liar’ because this world-system we’ve built has been built upon lies, concepts, beliefs, ideologies that in no way make a direct reference to how physical reality should work.

This is how I commit myself to remain in stability and consideration, humbleness whenever I take a dive into another human being’s mind and instead of immediately judging them for all the ‘wrong things’ they’ve done, I can focus on considering the ‘greater picture’ of how I have participated in the same patterns and how it is thus now that I see, I understand and realize the truth and reality of what each one of us have done onto ourselves and one another in this world – from the micro to the macro – and the consequences imposed onto every living being in this reality through the dictatorship of our mind. And within this realizing that the only way to stop the reaction is to apply self forgiveness as the one thing left to do in this world where we see how far we’ve gone with our intellectual abuse of reality.

I commit myself to redefine words that I can ensure are able to be lived and be beneficial, supportive and constructive for myself and every other living being as well. This implies that I commit myself to no longer perpetuate the lie I’ve become as the mind, the egos of the mind, the self interest drive to obtain what I want regardless of considering ‘who’ and ‘what’ gets affected by achieving such selfish aim.

 

 

After I watched the documentary I wondered why not so many people were in the movie theater, and how we’ve been also brainwashed to believe that politics or seeing these people ‘talk nonsense’ is ‘boring,’ whereas I found it profoundly important to watch a vivid mirror of the deception we’ve all built and imposed around every corner in this world.

I fully recommend this documentary to anyone that can watch it, and this is how I share this reflection about it as a form of take another perspective at it, so that we can stop blaming, pointing fingers or developing further hatred toward certain political figures or people with ‘power,’ where we can first begin understanding what such ‘power’ in fact has been and how we can collectively debunk the lies and through doing that, create a more common sensical, self-responsible, integral and educated democratic society where our ability to redefine words and live them becomes the power to change how we live and interact in our every day living.

It’s time we break free form our mindful self-indulgence and realize that it will take great effort, discipline and consistency in order to give ourselves direction in our mind, to self-correct every lie and deception acquired by default, by virtue of coexisting in this same planet Earth.

 

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Articles:

Errol Morris on Rumsfeld, the truth and “The Unknown Known”

 

To learn more about the mind and how to begin self-forgiving our current human nature, investigate:


381. Carrying the Horns of Evil

 

Within our minds, we make associations where we might attach an image with an emotion or a feeling, we start defining such image according to the context we see it in, according to the people, according to what we hear/believe in according to such event/place/people and so, start defining ourselves according to all of the knowledge and information that comes from these mental associations that we integrate as ‘who we are’ and how we ‘understand the world’ and start categorizing our reality according to that, but with this comes also the definitions of what is good, what is evil, and where I stand within it all.

So, dreams stand as this ‘creation’ of myself to see what is coming up and why I’ve been dreaming of these things that seem rather random, but in a way they are only points that I orchestrate in my mind wherein I can see how I stand in relation to the people, the symbols, the places and contexts that I may not be physically linked to, but comes up due to having ‘activated’ some thoughts around such points or images, or people lately.  So, I’ve done this exercise of looking at my dream again, which has allowed me to review a part of my background and the judgments I’ve had toward that in an undercover manner inside my mind, which came to the surface when looking at this dream.

This time it was related to what I can consider as ‘family’ or lineage, since I was in that one building owned by some relatives toward which I have crated a like/dislike relationship as a child, a property that exists as the representation of power over others in terms of how economics operated the past century in this country, wherein some ‘main houses’ would stand as the property of the landowner in which many other people would work in, demonstrating the great disparity from rich/wealthy and the poor/slaves of the town. This type of buildings represent the way to set the mark of ‘who rules in the land’ – probably no different to how a castle operates in feudalism – but at a ‘minor scale’ –  these constructions are called ‘Haciendas’ and this one was built probably around the end of the 19th century or so,  and it has been held as something we should be somehow ‘proud of’ too.

The reason why I disliked the place was mostly due to me as a little child reacting with lots of fear to the kind of parties that took place in there. I would see how lots of money would be spent on alcohol, animals were sacrificed for the food of the day, lots of people would come in, politicians and people I had to greet as ‘my family’ without having ever seen them in my life, causing then an aversion to family reunions. Also at the same time there were some rumors of the place being haunted, which as a child gave me the creeps all the way, and essentially tainting the whole experience of having to go there to family reunions, reacting with lots of fear – later on as I grew older it became something that I was a bit ‘proud of’ when understanding what such place represented, as well as indulging in the alcohol drinking that was absolutely ‘normal’ for family, even as a young child.

 

 

Well, the dream was located in that place – or at least a representation of it, I would see the people I have associated to that place – some relatives – and how I would see them as ‘evil’ somehow. Of course when I was a child I did not question how one gets to have such amount of money to buy such a place and have political positions in a small town in this country, so it simply became as ‘normalcy’ to me, even a point of pride somehow and that’s where it all converges.

 

In the dream, I had on my head horns, like a goat’s skull with its horns, and I would actually see the skull on top of my head with blood. Usually when I dream about blood it triggers something within me which I have identified as the ‘killing of life’ that we are all participating in it. However the symbolism within this is quite clear: horns in my mind association stand for ‘evil’ and me having ‘this’ on top of my head when getting to this place, indicates the associations toward the place, the people, some hidden associations I’ve held onto as well as disliking in general being there. I would see some mental patients around the place which  I have no idea what about them but they were.

 

So what comes up, first of all the fright, the shock to see such thing on top of my head and me trying to take it off, yet I wasn’t able to, which made me feel horrified. In a way we can say that we all have blood in our hands, we all carry these ‘horns’ on top of us as the result of who we are/ have been since the beginning of time: the manifestation of evil that destroy life, yet fear to face it as such. I realize that I have personally linked that particular family lineage to a relationship of both pride and honor but at the same time of resisting to get to know ‘how’ they actually got that power, how they got to that position, and how they have mismanaged the money, how they have had many children due to the money they have, how they have business related to alcohol, how there have been various accidents related to alcohol yet continue to consequent such behavior as normal. And so within this, how I was dragged along the line of ‘having respect to them’ because of being family.  And here I have to say that it’s not like I ‘dislike them’ or ‘like them’ consciously, but it is about opening up the ‘hidden layers’ that exist around this point not only for myself as an individual within this particular family-configuration, but as humanity wherein one way or another – no matter who or what were our ancestors, we have all been the consequential outflow of having been driven by our minds, a system that thrives through abuse, the abuse of life in order to ‘live.’ I see that no one really has had any ‘clean past’ in terms of what our parents, and their parents and their parents of their parents did, so we cannot claim sanctity one way or another: we’ve all been here for ever and cannot claim that we did not participate in what is here today.

I realize that subconsciously I’ve held onto such disdain for what I have deemed as ‘unacceptable behavior’ from relatives, however I realize that remaining with such ‘hidden scorn’ or ‘mixed emotions’ between honor, respect – which were mostly ‘taught’ onto me – and the unveiling of ‘what was really going on’ has made me rather keep the point ‘separate’ from me as to ‘not have to deal with it.’ So this is why I see that the whole set up was to me rather ‘shocking’ in order to realize that in my dream I was trying to hide from them, and at the same time wanting to take of this piece of skull with blood off my head, but I couldn’t, not until they found me and I had to face them, which is quite obvious in terms of how we hold onto things because of ‘not wanting to face them,’ instead of realizing that if we dare to face it, we can actually let go of the point and face the ‘over-mystification’ that happens in the mind, that takes more energy and attention than if we were to simply face it, let it go and equalize ourselves to the people, the places, the situations we have held so many resistances and reactions to.

Another point is that: I am not separate from them, and that whatever ‘sins of the fathers’ I saw myself as separate from: I am one and equal to them as well.

 

(For the reader: various ‘dimensions’ open up here so bare with me as there are various associations linked to the set-up of the dream, so it’s best for me to look at them all here so as to clear the whole point, even if it may seem like ‘jumping’ from point to point at times)

 

Self Forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in my dream react with fear when seeing that I was holding these ‘horns in my head’ along with blood, and how I was unable to ‘take them out’ right away until I had faced the family I was ‘running away from/hiding from’ in that hacienda, wherein I realize that I haven’t wanted to face this particular part of myself, my family, my ‘forefathers’ which are people I know very little from, yet in terms of how I have judged what I have come to know of them in public sources, by being with them has made me create a certain disdain toward them that I’ve harbored in a ‘background’ manner, since I got to know more about structures of power, money, and the connections created with politics, which also was another reason why I had ‘loathed politics’ in the past, due to witnessing and knowing of how these relationships take place in what I have judged as ‘lavish’ meetings where there is a huge use (judgment: squandering) of food, and alcohol and entertainment in order to demon.strate a social-status, power, and within this, create more networks of power and influence over the majority.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to in a covert manner enjoy the benefits, the experience of being part of that one family with certain ‘name’ around a certain region as this made me feel ‘important’ or with certain ‘relevance’ ‘above the majority,’ which indicates that I was the one that created the whole experience that I projected onto others as ‘what they are/what they experience’ without realizing I created this experience toward the people, toward the place by judging it, associating certain knowledge and information – and when realizing how ‘wrong’ it was to desire or enjoy the benefit of having certain position in society, I went to the complete opposite to condemning all forms of power abuse, politics and such due to the basic witnessing of how that takes place when money is ‘not a problem’ and used only for the benefit of a few, while it was rather obvious that the entire place, the people working in there were not ‘at the same level’ and so witnessing first hand how inequality ‘looked like’ when you are ‘at the top’ and have people serving for you.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad and sad about the people I would see working in there, witnessing the abundance of food and drinks and luxury given away for a few hours while them having to resort to only ‘being the workers’ for such place, for such people, which is how I started questioning why the hell only a few can have this kind of benefits  – and within this create an inner conflict about it in terms of what looks good, what feels good within me, but judging it as wrong and detrimental to people and as such, because I veiled myself from seeing the ‘bigger picture’ at that stage, I simply decided to ignore that realization I have had, about power, about politics, about who benefits and instead only create an avoidance to all of it, as well as a way to not want to recognize that I liked the idea of being able to have ‘such power’, but, in the mind we go into reactions as to not have to face our responsibility to it, and instead we usually become victims to our own experience.

 

I realize that I can only judge something when being separated from it, when believing that  it is ‘them’ and ‘others’ doing right/wrong things, without realizing that I am both sides of the coin, and that judging it and separating myself from it create no solution to it at all.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create the experience of being ‘ashamed’ in the dream for having these horns on my head with blood, and not being able to take them off, because I didn’t want to see me with such thing in my head, nor did I want others to see me with that either – which is revealing how this is something I had to face, walk through, self-forgive as to no longer be ashamed or try and deny my experiences toward positions of power, when seeing abundance of money, when being benefited in any way by any position of power, which made me then create the polarity of ‘I like it’ and ‘I enjoy it’ even if it’s only for a few hours, and then go into judgment about it, inner conflict and mostly not wanting to have anything to do with ‘them’ because of any associations with power/abuse that it may bring. Therefore I see that I created my own ‘friction and conflict’ based on memories, definition, information that I took personal an defined myself in relation to it, when in fact it only serves as a point of reaction within my mind.

Therefore, I continue to see what else is in it.

 

I realize that we have all as human beings have participated in abuse, in one way or another, and how we all in fact carry such ‘horns with blood’ in our head as the symbol of the evil nature that we all are in fact, the blood as the sacrifice of life for our benefit, and we all carry this ‘sin’ within us until we are able to self-forgive and directly create solutions that prevent these ‘sins of the fathers’ from repeating over and over again.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever see any family member with disgust or disdain or plainly fear them as a child, not really knowing the reason why other than hearing certain deeds that I knew were not ‘beneficial’ for themselves or others, including the massive procreation of people as a result of the power and ‘recognition’ they held, which also I have held as a relationship of disgust and shame, mostly – without realizing that that is what someone with certain power eventually ends up doing: abusing it, misdirecting it without measuring consequences, and this entire world is the result of us abusing each other in one way or another for that matter, so judging these individuals due to ‘them being related to me’ has more to do with ‘me not wanting to be associated with abuse’ and that’s the reason why I didn’t want to see me with this piece of skull with blood over my head, yet it would only ‘come off’ once I would face the people I was hiding from in the dream: the generations that have gone before us.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to having wished coming from noble people that are ‘honest’ and ‘trustworthy’ not realizing that this was only for my own benefit, of being ‘immaculate’ which is impossible considering who and what we have always been as humanity in this world, wherein most likely no one has such immaculate origin, as no matter ‘where we come from’ or ‘who is our family’ we are all equally responsible for the atrocities in this world.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be horrified, ashamed, fearful of having such ‘horns with blood’ in my head in my dream as what I have defined is a symbol to realize that I also carry that which I have judged others for, and avoided facing as myself too.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to identify a piece of skull and bones as horns as something ‘horrific’ along with blood, not realizing that I am composed myself of bones and blood – therefore I see the association of ‘horns’ as ‘evil’ and blood as something disgusting to look at, due to how horror films – which I don’t even watch but okay it’s part of the collective unconscious – uses blood as a symbol of horror, crime and so forth to generate fear.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create the scenario in my mind of an experience of fear due to the place that I associated with that old hacienda where I have believed that there were ghosts or people haunting others, which is also why I held such an experience of fear about it as well, petrification in fact when it came to even thinking about having to ‘spend the night there’ which never happened, because I always threw tantrums in order to never stay there.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to generate an extreme experience of fear when getting to this place because of knowing that there would be lots of alcohol available, therefore lots of people in a party-mode which I came to then resist due to not liking to see people becoming drunk and stubborn, as well as – on top of that – fearing the entities or ghosts I had heard of.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to come to dislike people that drink, and large amounts of people because of the extreme fear and even nervousness and anxiety that I would go through when getting to this specific place due to all the elements involved: lots of people, rooms filled with bottles of alcohol, lots of chatter and the myths and stories of the place being haunted.

 

I realize that as a child and being as usually afraid of everything as I used to, the idea of having to spend the night there was a nightmare to me, which I never did, but I would go to great lengths to make my parents leave the place so we could rather sleep at a hotel and not there, which is how I have in my mind connected all the points of fears toward that place specifically, linked to ‘the people’ in there and now I see that it’s only me in my mind how I have ‘mystified’ it all, and actually holding more energy in relation to the memory itself, how I remember it, how I defined my experience in there as a memory in itself, instead of realizing that it’s just a place, it’s just people and that the one experience of fear I had created in my own mind.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold on to a kind of hatred toward drunk people, not realizing that I’ve been there myself as well and that I stopped because of living by a principle of doing what is best for all, but it is certain that I would have also become ‘my own worst nightmare’ if I had continued to drink, and do it as ‘normal’ as it is considered for family or the majority in society wherein alcohol is an ‘okayish’ thing to take/drink, which is absolutely unacceptable.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the family business because of it being linked to alcohol and how I stand for ‘banning alcohol’,’ which had become a point of conflict when relating to my family, yet I’ve realized and actually walked the point wherein I stick to what I see is common sense and stand as it. Yet I realize I must stop any judgment that may still come through in relation to alcohol, as alcohol in itself is just a substance, it is the individuals that drink a lot of it that become a problem, and a danger to themselves and society.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go from pride to shame when it comes to the relationship with this family when I got to understand power, politics, relationships and how this was closer to me in the family than I expected – and as such created an ambivalent relationship of ‘liking’ the fact of having such background but at the same time, not wanting to be associated with it due to the relationships of abuse that are formed within such positions. However I realize that I can only judge this reality and others based on my own value systems, thoughts, knowledge and information which is then what I take responsibility for, as I cannot ‘change my background’ or my relatives, their businesses or anything like that – I focus on myself and what I am, and instead work on stopping and eradicating any form of subtle judgment toward anyone in any position of power or the opposite as poverty/disempowered.

It is within me stopping this sectarianism within myself that I begin the change within me first, by stopping defining people according the structural abuse of the past.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold on to memories of my past, and within that holding on to judgment, beliefs, ideas and perceptions as well as my own reactions as part of ‘how I see myself in relation to relatives’ from this specific family, the place and all of it becoming ‘more than what they are’ in my mind, because it’s certain how our memories become the instrument to ‘haunt us’ meaning to cause reactions and re-live the initial experiences of that moment, without realizing that we are here in the moment, physically in another space-time and that it is pointless to continue categorizing, judging, identifying and labeling people, places, circumstances according to how I reacted to them in the past – I take full responsibility for my reactions and ensure I let go of the ‘haunting’ experience which is only of benefit to my mind.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold on to judgment toward others and certain relatives based on how I have deemed them to be toward each other, themselves as ‘abusive’ without realizing that within this I am only holding on to the ‘negative’ to be judged instead of rather also looking at what I can learn from others that is of benefit for everyone, as I see that I tend to be a tad extremist when it comes to painting something/someone either white or red. Within this, I see that instead of judging all that is ‘bad’ or ‘wrong,’ I rather investigate further to see what I can learn from them/others that is beneficial for myself and all, and apply it to my own life.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create such a tantrum at that time with my parents just because of not wanting to stay in that place in fear of ‘having ghosts lurking around.’ I realize that as a child, I allowed fears to absolutely drive me to also lure others into doing what I wanted them to do based on my fears to, for example, not stay at a certain place due to potential ‘ghosts’ coming out at night.

 

I realize that I allowed myself to believe many stories, many ideas about spirits, ghosts and other paranormal phenomena which in turn became a constant fear within me as a child, which I held onto until the time when I got to know there were no more ghosts, spirits and so forth, which is only 6 years ago due to finding about Desteni.

 

San Bartolomé del Monte - Hacienda

 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold any judgment, idea, perception toward others as family members that I could create an experience of shame or avoidance to be linked to, as this only perpetuates self definitions according to ‘who I am’ in terms of being part of a particular family, holding a particular name, which is only how we have constructed the system – yet in reality: we all are equally related to one another, as we are in fact one and equal.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel ashamed for being part of humanity which has been a point that emerges from time to time when witnessing the abuse we impose toward each other and everything around us, not realizing that everything that we are is ourselves and so, every abuse that is ‘committed by others’ is in fact committed by ourselves too – we have been the evil in this world, and this is why I relate the horns upon my head as a representation of how I have also participated in this, I have also formed part of the atrocities that I associate the skull with horns upon my head as the representation of who I am in the mind, evil as the reverse of live/life, and as such the reaction to realizing ‘I am also part of it/it’s upon me’ is unnecessary yet for the dream being a way to realize that I cannot ‘separate’ myself from it.

 

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to want to ‘hide’ from consequence, hide from having to face what I first created a ‘taste’ for such as alcohol or the taste of bits of what I defined as ‘power’ and ‘social recognition’ above the majority, and create an avoidance toward it later, not wanting to see it as part of what was going to ‘shape’ me and who I am, and what I like and what I’m supposed to be proud of – not realizing that this is absolutely nothing to be taken personal, it is where I was born just as any other thing or person is defined within this system – and even if my core family wasn’t rich or having these privileges as those relatives did – at their time – the notion of ‘being recognized’ or having ‘certain power’ did create a likeness for it initially within me, which I later on veiled and covered up because of not wanting to face my own participation in the ‘taste for power’ linked to specifically higher status in society, which I have also disclosed in previous blogs extensively, the polarity of desiring power/ loathing power and how to correct it.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge elitism and inequality, yet I create such conditions every time that I define people according to the amount of money/power/status they hold, and how I also participate in it in my mind when judging anyone based on money/power/status – without realizing that this that I have defined as ‘evil’ – being money, power, social status – is something I also participate in and require in order to ‘live’ within the set up in this system, therefore I stop holding judgment toward what is here, the hierarchical levels, the forms of structural violence that exist in our hierarchical society – as I realize that we will only stop these definitions once that we recognize equal value as the recognition of who we are as equals.

 

In the dream, I was only able to take the horns off after I had faced them, after they found me because I was deliberately wanting to hide from them. So it means that I can only take off the horns is when I have dared to face this experience that I had been harboring within me, without realizing that: the more I avoided looking at it, talking about it, writing about it and clearing myself around this point, I would only be holding on to it as the polarity of like/dislike, what I enjoyed at some point in my life and how I am correcting myself to not ever fall for what I deem is the corruption that comes along with power, and with this stop the cycles of abuse that have existed throughout our history as humanity.

 

In this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assume that these specific relatives had to abuse in order to obtain such power – without realizing that even if it was so, me holding on to such judgment doesn’t change the facts, the past, what has been done – and also within this not to try and now hold on to this ‘myth’ of there being some kind of ‘good doer’ in the same family that was ‘stealing from the rich to give to the poor’ as a way to redeem myself and want me to be directly linked to that person because ‘oh he was a good doer and wanted to bring social justice in early 20th century’ which is just creating the polarity of wanting to be associated with the ‘good ancestors’ and avoid anything related to what in my mind I have defined as ‘evil or bad’ ancestors.

The truth and reality is that all of it were designs, were placements, were roles that had to exist to create the entirety of the system as is: of rich and poor, of abuse, of power and enslavement – and within this, I realize that I have been a product in and of this entire system, regardless of my direct lineage or family – I realize that an individual has the opportunity and the gift of self forgiveness no matter how ‘evil’ or ‘bad’ or ‘good’ they’ve been, and that’s what I see is mostly relevant: to let go of the fear to face the evil we have become, to face the crimes against ourselves and all living beings in this Earth for our self-interest, for power, for money, for status, etc. And in this we can liberate ourselves, free ourselves from ‘the sins of the fathers’ and ensure that we ourselves, myself, do not fall ever again for traits that come with the illusion of power that can only exist as abuse within the context of this system we are and live in at the moment.

 

 

Self Corrective Statements and Commitments:

 

When and as I see myself being ashamed of carrying the ‘horns of evil’ metaphorically speaking, when realizing where and how we have contributed to the problems, the abuse in this world –  I stop and I breathe – I realize that going into shame or avoidance to look at it only leaves us as victims once again of what is already done. Instead, I commit myself to stand within that realization, take into consideration the entirety of this world-system, see where and how I have directly participated in what is here, and no longer take these things personal, but instead walk through the shame, use the shame as a reminder that I can no longer re-crate the sins of the fathers, to recreate that which I came to first like and enjoy and then loathed and avoided as a polarity construct in my own mind.

 

I realize that holding on to shame based on my own memories, judgments, ideas, beliefs and perceptions around any individual that I am related to directly as ‘family’ is useless to keep, as the shame itself creates and recreates the definition that I hold toward ‘them.’

 

I commit myself to stop any form of shame and avoidance that exists within me when looking at the things, the consequences we have created as humanity as this only recreates a mind experience about it, and does nothing to solve it – therefore,

 

I commit myself to transform the shame, the avoidance of looking at something into an opportunity to equalize myself with that, so as to understand it, to place it into context, to see what can be done  in relation to preventing, correcting, aligning relationships that have enabled this abuse

 

I realize that we will face the real nature of ourselves and that being ‘horrified’ by it, by seeing our direct implication onto it makes no difference to what is already done – therefore

When and as I see myself being ever horrified at looking at the consequences we are generating as human beings on Earth, I stop and I breathe – I realize that being ‘shocked’ at what I/we create every day – directly or indirectly – does no change, creates no solution to such problems and situations. Therefore

 

I commit myself to stop participating in any emotion of shame, horror, disgust, avoidance, disdain when seeing, understanding and/or witnessing how we directly impact the world, how we directly abuse ourselves and each other – and instead commit myself to live self forgiveness, to not get ‘trapped’ in the experience and wanting to ‘run away from it’ or ‘take it off of my head’ metaphorically speaking – but instead, face it, be willing to walk through it in order to establish solutions, realizing as well that it is only when we dare to face the true nature of ourselves that we can then get to understand why we are in the condition we are in our world and reality and as such, within understanding, and no longer judging it, one can create solutions.

 

I commit myself to no longer be ashamed of or want to hide from people that I wish I was ‘not related to,’ without realizing that this would imply holding on to shame toward all of humanity and myself, as I am part of everything and everyone as well – therefore I let go of the judgment and instead walk in self-forgiveness, stopping any reactions and separation toward all that is here as myself.

 

I commit myself to stop fueling my own ‘myths’ and mystifying people and places only for the sake of entertaining past memories of certain experiences that serve no purpose to who I am here and as such, I let go any definition toward my own memories as ‘haunting’ and instead, focus on living here, every moment, being self directive.

 

I realize that it can be a bit shocking at times when we get to see how we/others behave, what we/others do in terms of creating consequence in our reality and why it is that we ‘do it’ and so the ‘shock’ comes from not being able to ‘compute’ about the crimes against we have all – equally – committed against life, against ourselves. And this is why I suggest educating oneself about the nature of who we are and have become as the mind, as these consciousness systems that in no way have considered life, the reality and the substance of who and what we really are. Therefore, every form of ‘evil’ in this world, every word, thought or deed that doesn’t benefit us all as equals, is the reality that we have created in un-awareness of who we are as one and equal, and as such, we stand up, we face it, we direct and establish solutions to prevent the problems and align what’s already here to the benefit of everyone in equality, beginning with myself.

 

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To stop judging the world as ‘evil’ and start living:


351. The Problem of Human Nature and Equal Money

 

Human Nature  is the actual source of the problem in this world – by this we refer to the traits that exist as self interest in our minds with which we separate ourselves from the physical common sense of Equality as Life. It is about time we understand that it is not only the Environment that is the problem that shapes Human Behavior, but instead realize how we have created such environment as the image and likeness of our mind.

Continuing:

 

 

Problem                                                                

“Human nature refers to the distinguishing characteristics, including ways of thinking, feeling and acting, that humans tend to have naturally, i.e. independently of the influence of culture. The questions of what these characteristics are, what causes them, and how fixed human nature is, are amongst the oldest and most important questions in western philosophy. These questions have particularly important implications in ethics, politics, and theology. This is partly because human nature can be regarded as both a source of norms of conduct or ways of life, as well as presenting obstacles or constraints on living a good life. The complex implications of such questions are also dealt with in art and literature, while the multiple branches of the Humanities together form an important domain of inquiry into human nature, and the question of what it means to be human.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_nature

 

  • Human Nature is the most common excuse that we as humans use in order to justify that it is impossible to change the world, because ‘human nature’ is just ‘who we are/ how we are/ what we do and how we will always continue to be’ this has become the perfect way to keep people at bay and not attempt to question and change their own lives, and the lives of others because, once this human nature premise is accepted as an irreparable conduct, any solution to the problems of this world will only be sought outside of ourselves, keeping this inherent ‘nature’ intact and unquestioned, because ‘that which makes us human’ such as emotions, feelings and a strong sense of self-importance above others is ‘who we are and have always been.’  All that is recognized is that we have always been greedy, envious, selfish, egotistical beings that are always seeking to better ourselves upon others, always competing, having no sense of social responsibility,  always hungry for power and wealth to have control over others without realizing it is all done in the name of fear; this sociopathic behavior has been accepted as who we ‘are’ by default and it’s often believed to only be the consequence of the environment, but it isn’t.

 

  • It is only now that we are able to understand the mind that we realize how it is that we have created the environment as a result of all of these human traits that are the origin of the nature of our societies and power structures alike. We believe it is only the nature of some ‘vile’ individuals  that have set up this massive prison, but it is not true, we built it ourselves through our own Accepted and Allowed nature with no intention to question it or change it. Instead we glorified it through our mutual acceptance of the excuse ‘But I am only human’ and ‘In the end I am human and make mistakes/ become emotional’ and even got to praise these mind experiences through  artistic demonstrations wherein all the human is able to create from the starting point of being an individual with an eternal inner conflict between emotions, feelings and the real world. This became part of the universal traits that we  only learned we had to learn how to ‘cope with.’ It is within such belief and acceptance that we have created our absolute enslavement by our own mind and hands.
    • To Understand the nature of the Mind, it is important to study the Desteni Material, an investigation for over 7  years about the actual systematic nature of the mind that has been unknown to ourselves until now. You can visit the Desteni Articles to begin reading part of this continuous investigation.

 

  • Human Nature  can’t be changed” –  this is  a mind definition with no awareness of who we are as the mind, who we are as a physical body, our beingness and our relationship with this physical existence throughout time;  we have always accepted and allowed ourselves to say ‘it is how it always has been’ and in that prevent anyone from actually beginning to question that which we have always taken for granted, which is our ability to think, to become emotional, to create value systems and create relationships based on individual self interest.  We can look at how even the ability to question these ‘traits’ is already seen as something that is threatening to our nature, to ‘that which makes us humans’ which means that we have reduced ourselves to only be emotional and feeling energetic systems that act in self interest with no regard to the physical laws that govern our reality and our own physical stability. It is certain that if in our minds we regarded ourselves as physical beings that have the same attributes as everyone else – such as a physical body requiring food, water, shelter, clothing, etc. – the ability to understand Equality would be greater, however this is not so and this explains to what extent we are literally brainwashed ourselves to not recognize that all points of ‘individuality’ as preferences, characters, emotional traits are only but mind configurations that generate the first obstacle to recognize each other as Equals in the physical common sensical meaning of the word. We could create an entire treaty on human nature, but for that I suggest reading the blogs as well as the Desteni Material to understand more about who we are as the Mind, our Nature and how to reflect ourselves upon the words contained in these websites:

 

  • The fact is that there are very few aspects about the nature of the mind generally known by humanity at this stage with regards to our creation and origin, our purpose in this reality. Even psychology as the science that is supposed to study the nature of the mind and behavior of the human being is only existing as a coping mechanism to deal with  ‘human nature’ or simply redirect the usual human traits mentioned earlier, but there has never been an actual re-educational process at an individual level to prove that through getting to know ourselves as our mind as the ability to recognize all the patterns that have led us to the current consequences we’re facing in our world and reality, and establishing a Principle to live by in common sense as what is Best for All we can become a human being that stops existing in the same full acceptance to our mind as ‘who we are’ and start living as an individual that begins to understand how we can only ensure our personal well being if we ensure each other’s well being in Equality.

 

  • We have become the victims of our own beliefs and experiences in this reality – we created gods or systems to take care of ourselves, delegating any responsibility to never realize that it was in fact us that created the very prison we now complain about; this prison exists at a Mind Level which we eventually externalized as the nature of our world system and environment. We can have to look at how the inequality existent in this world is the result of every single inferiority and superiority belief or complex that we believe is ‘real’ and ‘who we are’ and what we have a ‘right to live by,’ which are nothing but accepted and allowed beliefs, ideas and perceptions we have of ourselves in relation to other human beings; for example, we can look at  how we envy others fortune, good looks or personalities and then think that such inner experience and opinion upon others has no effect on the ‘outside world’ – well, it obviously does and every single thought, action/ inaction and spoken or kept quiet word has an effect on everything and everyone in our reality, because we are all coexisting in the same physical reality where every single relationship we form toward another reflects on the mechanisms that run our lives in the ‘greater picture’ as our world system. This means that the environment, the systems, the agreements, the unspoken rules with which we direct ourselves are directly stemming from these accepted and allowed self beliefs on multiple levels that have gotten ourselves to exist the way we do now where we are fearing each other in a constant manner, we are fighting and competing to every other individual that we conceive as an enemy of sorts in this world and reality that we have turned into a battle field where life has been reduced to a winning or losing situation.

 

 

  • The problem is self evident every time that we study the laws, policies, constitutions and ‘behavioral codes’ existent in every organization, institution and system that defines how we live our lives where No life is actually considered, but only interests are kept safe from other only those that have the most money have the ability to protect themselves, and for the most part they are used to make money when it is convenient to allege that there is some form of infringement happening so that these individual interests above the rest are always the ones that are considered first – this means there is no common sense or any sense of honoring life in our legal and political systems, because we have created the world system in such a way that our interests are ‘mutually exclusive’ which makes Equality impossible when pondering self interest over common sense.

 

  • When a new living system where we can all live as Equals is presented and proposed, the usual comments point out that ‘we as humans will always want more than others’ and how ‘there will always be someone that wants to take control of the situation’ and this is why we have created world systems that enable this abuse. Is this preventable? Yes it is, and this is part of the primary premises that must be considered when looking at a process to Change the World in a practical and viable manner. At the moment none of these considerations exist because we have disregarded to look at the root and cause of the ‘problem in the system’ which is within each one of us, in our mind, in our own behavior and preferences that override common sense – this is what creates the environment as a reflection of this nature wherein only individual interests are cared for, and any regard to consider everyone as Equals is seen as a threat to this individuality that is protected and guarded mostly with money at the moment. This means that we in fact fear having ‘the same as everyone else’ because of our belief that it is okay for us to want more than what we have, and aspire to have control over others for our own benefit. The current individual interests that we exist as are founded upon abuse, because every time that only the interests of a few are guarded we must know that the majority will be disregarded and abused to create such well being for only a few, which is what has happened throughout history.

 

  • We cannot just blame the environment and victimize ourselves for the nature of the people that govern us.  They are equal to us and everyone else that has accepted the mind-experience of thinking, desiring and experiencing belief systems to be real which is how the power that we have agreed to endow to them is legitimized through our own acceptance and allowance of this nature as ‘normal’ to human beings. This resides as the acceptance of ‘who we are’ and how we have understood each other to be throughout generations where we never questioned why some individuals had more money/power/influence over the population than others and how we shaped the system in itself to adopt these type of facts as ‘true,’ which became the very laws that currently conduct our lives.

 

 

To be continued with Solutions and Rewards in the following post… 

 

 

 

 

 

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156. Can we be Benevolent in any way?

What is the quote that allowed me to understand Self Honesty?

 

“Self honesty is not nice or beautiful”- Bernard Poolman 

 

And this was already over 4 years ago, wherein I realized that I was certainly Not going to be ‘in for a ride’ to make myself ‘feel good’ or ‘be better’ or ‘gain’ anything within this process that could be mistaken/labeled as ‘personal improvement’ or any other point like that to vaingloriously elevate ourselves above others in this hierarchical system in an elaborate mind-delusion  of ‘betterment,’ No.

This process is actually going inside our own self-created hell for a ride and walking through it until we’re eventually done taking the ‘heat’ that we produce with our own friction as ‘the problem’ that we seem to have become so used to having as human beings: inner conflict, ‘mental instability,’ self esteem problems, social-dysfunctions, inability to create proper relationships, being pathological liars and cheaters, greedyall existing in our minds as ‘our nature,’ that we try and hide all the time through creating/ keeping a ‘good face’ and ‘positive attitude’ toward the world/ others for our own benefit. This is how we can simply look within ourselves every single time that we’ve made ourselves believe that we are ‘good’ and ‘good hearted’ or even sometimes, climbing up a serious delirium about being ‘a savior’ of some kind –yes like the thousands of self-proclaimed Jesuses and Antichrists that play the same role when it comes to ‘saving humanity’ which is nothing else but another ‘Sign of the Times’ where we’re facing the actual reality of who we are as our own mind.

 

What does this mean?

 

That this process that we’re walking of Self Honesty implies getting to see the nitty-gritty-dirty and gruesome aspect of ourselves, and I am deliberately using these words because they are in fact the consequence that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become from the moment that we accepted ourselves to only be ‘our mind,’ and the mind standing as and only for its own survival. This is plain evident in on the daily news that we are sharing within the Capitalism vs. Equal Money Group in Facebook that I suggest you check out as well, which encompasses the outflows of this mind-possessed reality as our current world system that is certainly unsustainable and must be realized as such in order for us to in fact take responsibility for it, which is what the Equal Money System implies within this process as well.

 

Now, ‘selfishness’ is the word that comes to mind and in the dictionary as well, which pointed out Egomania, a topic I had briefly written about before and the definition of the dictionary I consulted read: “Extreme self interest” and that’s essentially what we have become. This world is our reflection as egomaniacs, because if we in fact cared about ‘the Whole’ as who we are, we would have already changed the current system that is built as the image and likeness of who and what we have become within the idea of ‘As long as I am alright, I don’t care about the rest’ – and this becoming the blueprint to promote even more exacerbated states of selfishness/ egomania motivating our every move, our every word, every thing we consume, think and act upon during the day is motivated by this desire to always ‘get the most of the cake.’

Hence walking in Self Honesty this process is actually daring to see the true-workings behind seemingly ‘benevolent’ tasks or ‘good deeds’ during the day, which maybe you as I , as human beings that accepted ‘the positive’ as this supposed noble-quality of ourselves (yeah, right) without actually daring to see how in wanting to ‘do good’/ be good toward others, we have in fact neglected our ‘equality and oneness’ to only take our claws out and scavenge it all for our own benefit, while being willing to ‘exterminate’ any form of opposition and competition that prevents us from ‘getting what we want.’ And, what we have recently realized as Desteni is that fears actually were cover ups for this realization of Self Interest being the Force that moves us all which means that all points of fears are actually stemming from a desire, want and need to get something for ourselves/ our Own benefit.

Within Fear, we remain as ‘victims’ which somehow within our minds makes us seemingly ‘not responsible’ for what we define ‘Happens to us’ instead of us realizing how we are Creating it as ourselves. I mean, it’s become even like a spoken language malfunction – an example is whenever I have caught myself saying ‘This happened to me’ instead of saying ‘I created this point within myself/ I allowed this to happen in my reality/ I was unaware when doing this and so I created that’ – which is an absolute point to turn the tables and see that we have in fact been ‘the source’ of all our evil and malice naively called ‘bad luck’ as well.

 

So, if anyone has any concept about the Apocalypse or judgment day being this glorious sublime type of scenario with some red skies and some gigantic planet hitting the Earth to eradicate it all… well, I must be the one that debunks such parody – which was my own at some point as well – and instead look at what it is that we are in fact doing within/ as ourselves: facing the actual evil nasty and venomous creatures that we have become, that our Real Self Revelation.“What? Me? Nooo, Never! I am such a good person, I’d never do ANYTHING like that!’

Well, it’s time to stop kidding ourselves about our apparent ‘benevolence’ and instead, dare to walk our own evil within the understanding that good/ bad can only sustain a morality construct that in no way supports Life – and instead we ‘keep in mind’ that there is an actual True Principle we can guide and direct ourselves by: what is best for all in all ways, at all times as a declaration of who and what we are here to establish ourselves as, because we’ve Never been living under such principle, at all. This is how and why the material as the Reptilian Series, the Atlanteans and the Secret History of the Universe have been of great support to understand that we in fact are in a crucial time in this existence, on this planet to – for Once and for All – establish ourselves as the living-realization of how this existence and real life can only emerge if we in fact consider each other as equals, and all Evil within ourselves is walked within this process of Self Forgiveness in Self Honesty.

 

We are here to Breathe and realize that it is not to take this point personal either or creating YET another reaction/ character toward seeing our “gruesome” aspects, it is about finally understanding that unless we embrace the totality of who we are – which practically means: getting to know ourselves as our mind and walking the good and the bad through Self-Forgiveness and Self-Honesty with Self Corrective Application, we won’t get ourselves ‘out of this.’

We are prepared to do this, because we have the tools, we are a group that supports each other to do this as well, as we have seen and walked for ourselves what a ‘breakdown’ this may cause at some points when realizing that everything we have ever believed ourselves to be was not in fact ‘real’ as it was never built upon an equal and one understanding of ourselves as the mind, as the physical, as energy, as substance, as our physical body and existence as a whole. 

 

This is thus looking at the ‘greater picture’ which is something I suggest ‘keeping in mind’ in order to walk this process unconditionally, as I have seen and realized for myself as well how we tend to lose perspective in terms of why we are walking this process, what does it mean to walk an individual process and an existential process as a whole as well – and that is in fact what the Desteni I Process implies when it comes to realizing our point of responsibility with ourselves/ existence as a whole to then base our application/ the totality of what we walk here as self correction on this single premise: we are here to establish an Equal and One Living Realization of who we really are as what we have never in fact lived-as, which is Life in Equality. This begins within ourselves and debunking any ‘good doing’ is necessary in order to remove this ‘nice façade’ that we’ve built of ourselves, face our demons, self forgive all the good and the bad to finally establish within/as ourselves What’s Best for All Life.

This is an introduction and I have to thank Mr. Anu for sharing this process/his process with us to also begin working with our own patterns.

The interviews at Eqafe are:

These have been REAL eye openers here and the very fact that it took me a day to get to this already implies there was a resistance to walk through to start getting onto this. 

 

And, to answer to the question proposed as the title of this blog, at ‘face value’ I can say that benevolence is not yet existent and that we are literally creating it not as a ‘good doing’ in terms of projecting halos upon ourselves as that’s the worst type of deception that can exist in fact, thus this ‘benevolence’ can only acquire a common sensical meaning wherein what matter is living/ directing ourselves to be and become the equality and oneness as living-flesh that we are, and that means: walking this process of Self Realization through Self Forgiveness in Self Honesty to only then realize/ see and understand the actual implications of who we are/ what we have become as the mind in the physical and How we can practically walk the necessary corrections in fact. This is also supported by Heaven’s Journey to Life , Creation’s Journey To Life blogs and many others walking the 7 Year Journey to Life daily blogs wherein as a group, we ensure we share this process with anyone else that is willing to also face themselves, take Self Responsibility for our creation and as such, dare to LIVE – which is certainly the path we’re walking at the moment and is yet ‘to be realized/ known/ seen/ understood – however, this is walked breath by breath, moment by moment until it is done, not losing our ‘ground’ nor the attention on the feet that we stand upon: physical support to face the mind ‘chaos’ that we’ve become – and that’s our certainly, that’s our point of Self Trust: no matter what, we are here and we face what we are/ have become and whatever may come as the consequences of our own creation – only then will we see if we are in fact able to be/become benevolent as a living realization of who we are in every moment of physically being here.

Let’s walk

Further Support at: Desteni Forum

 

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