454. Embracing Living Potentials

(Or how I plan to get rid of the ‘Doomsday character’)

 

Self-Forgiveness on the previous blog I shared

• 453. Raining Down on Everyone’s Parade

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as self-sabotage whenever I give into the usual known experiences of ‘gloom and doom’ or sticking to seeing only the ‘bad stuff’ or destructive aspects and patterns in everything and everyone wherein I then create an experience of discomfort, not being able to fully embrace a situation, a person, an event or circumstance that represents actual growth, change, expansion, expression and reacting within my mind by  defining it as ‘too positive’ or ‘too good to be true’ ‘not realistic’ when it comes to comparing it to the ‘reality of the world out there’ –  yet at the same time seeing it as a proof of potential, of growth, of self support, of self-creation that I then react to in a physical manner in a form of discomfort, which I translate to a disempowerment of sorts by believing that ‘that is too good to be true’ or ‘it’s not realistic’ or ‘it’s too positive’ and within this, I excuse myself from actually doing the necessary process of change for me to stand one and equal to such potential and possibilities for self-creation and self-expansion.

This happens when I go into my mind to qualify or attach a particular experience to a moment or situation, wherein I have programmed myself to react in a form of limitation as a ‘blockage’ in my experience whenever I perceive or define something as being enjoyable, of happiness, of ‘goodness’ as something constructive or plainly enjoyable or even pleasurable, wherein I then believe that I have to ‘stick to reality’ and not fully embrace it – here defining ‘reality’ as something that is not good, not supportive, of destruction, of sadness, of suffering and in doing this, I go qualifying my experience towards everything in a polarity mode, wherein I feel comfortable and ‘ok’ to remain in the ‘same old’ or ‘usual’ experience of comfort and normalcy associated with things remaining in the current status-quo of generally not being growing, expanding, supportive and oddly enough, I have not been able to establish who do I want to be in the face of all of that which is constructive, of growth and expansion and expression and enjoyment for what it is, wherein I have become so used to immediately tell myself that ‘this is not reality, this is not aligned with the truth and experience of the majority in this world, therefore, I must give up on it, I must not enjoy it, I must not be part of it, I must stick to reminding myself and everyone else about the fuckedupness in this world’ – in this

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that in this desire to make of myself a ‘reminder’ of ‘all things that are wrong in this world’ through creating an experience within me that ‘rejects’ or ‘reacts’ to actual living change – in doing so I recreate and continue to exist as that ‘status-quo’ of not changing, remaining in an ‘unfortunate’ self-experience, denying my self to create myself into something that I would genuinely enjoy being and expressing as me, because of judging it as ‘not being aligned with the rest of everyone’s experience’ –

but here, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that this is a polarity I am holding in my mind, wherein in self honesty, it also becomes a way for me to be comfortable within ‘the same old me’ and not pushing myself outside of my comfort zone, which means I use the knowledge and information and awareness of how ‘the world is at this moment/how people in this world, the majority of them, are experiencing themselves, the animals, the environment in general’ and use this as an excuse, a reason and justification as to WHY I am apparently not able to stand up in a moment, let go of my own bitterness, gloom and doom within myself in the face of seeing potential, seeing evidence of change and self-creation and so instead Stand up as the change, live as the determination, creativity, perseverance and expression that I’d like everyone in this world to exist as, of course in consideration of what is best for all.

I realize that I have been denying myself the experience of growth, expression, creation, expansion within me in my life, even in the smallest details based on using knowledge and information as to why I am supposed to almost be a ‘martyr’ in the name of the rest of the world – but here, it’s just a ‘good face’ to cover up something else in fact. Within that ‘experience’ I am in fact justifying me not changing, not standing up to my own words of that which I would like others to live for themselves, and not just the poor and unfortunate ones, but everyone equally.

Therefore I have to stop living in spite in reality, spite that has been covered up as a notion of ‘I am on the side of the unfortunate ones, I am a martyr for not enjoying the things that others do enjoy and create for themselves in their lives’ and in doing this, actually become spiteful to others that do actually stand up to create the lives and experiences that they want for themselves and stand as their own creation that surely, it is also something that could be very supportive and cool for many more to create and enjoy equally.

It is quite paradoxical that in a supposed attempt to ‘do good’ to others or stand in ‘mourn’ for those unfortunate ones, I believe that denying all the ‘good things’ in life is a way to ‘honor them’ when in fact, I become the very perpetuator of self-limitation, of ‘the system’ itself that we’ve created as our own limitation, as our own enslavement, therefore in no way am I actually standing up ‘for others’ or for anything really, I am only using that awareness as a source of limitation for myself.

Here I also have to realize that based on the current situation of our world system, money system, many things are just not possible to create in equality as in wanting everyone to ‘have the same’ as I do or as I see others can create for themselves, and this is part of our manifested consequences of separation creating inequality and creating differential access to even the basics in this reality. But these are only FACTS, these are the ways in which the world is currently working. Therefore ME creating an Experience about this and reacting to it with anger, sadness, commiseration, misery within myself about it specially in moments where actual living creation and expression exists as a potential, is not being a solution to these problems in the world, is not me standing as the solution of who and what I’d like everyone to exist as and live as in this world, be a genuine and full example of that – but instead, I ‘close up’ and go into this very subtle yet present experience of wanting to stand as a representation of ‘all the bad things’ that are going on in life and be a constant reminder of that toward others, wherein I realize that it’s not about now completely ‘being positive’ all the time and making of it an energetic experience, it is about paving the way for and opening myself up to actually embrace the potential of creation, of life.

I also see that a solution to this whole point is about embracing the reality without a judgment, without qualifying it as positive or negative, but rather assessing it in common sense which means seeing ‘what is best for all’. Because otherwise I trap myself into defining all things related to growth, expansion, expression and enjoyment within a ‘positive experience’ that I then go into opposing with ‘all things negative’ apparently to stand as a ‘balancing point’ to the situation, but in this it’s not really about ‘What I want to remind others about,’ I only end up screwing myself because I don’t get to change the things I want to stand as a ‘reminder of’ for others, in terms of the misery, the suffering, the poverty, the unfortunate experience, and at the same time I don’t get to assist myself to actually learn how to Embrace the potential of self-creation, of growth, expansion, development, enjoyment and the ability to ‘play’ with life which are just that, actions, decisions, outcomes that I then have to assess in common sense if they are genuinely supportive, if they are sustainable, if they are a point of self-expression, if they don’t compromise myself or others in any way – and so instead of going into the polarity of the ‘good’ and ‘bad’ and me embodying mostly that ‘bad’ or ‘negative’ in the presence of all things I have defined as ‘good’ or ‘positive’ – I rather embrace such potentials, such moments which I actually should be grateful for.

Today I actually dreamed of my partner being this point for me, because I dreamed that we were in two separate rooms in the same house, and I was ‘very busy’ as my ‘usual self’ in my room and he would just knock at the door and start dancing in the hall way and even through the stairs, which in that moment in my dream really assisted me to ‘get out of my seriousness’ for a moment and embrace that laugh, like I Allowed myself to precisely laugh at the moment while being quite glad that he was expressing himself in that way in a moment and sharing it with me. This means that this point of enjoyment I would have usually ‘denied’ this expression of myself in the moment because of considering it as ‘not important’ or ‘too happy for me’ or ‘too superficial’ or whatever, but in ‘waking life’ this is also becoming a point of expression and embracing it as well, which has been cool and a whole nother topic, but relates a bit to transcending some of that usual ‘knee jerk’ reaction to ‘expression’ for example.

I don’t ‘lose face’ for doing so or I don’t become ‘less serious about life’ with it, it’s actually the other way around: the more I want to stick to representing and embodying the ‘nature of the system, the nature of the reality for everyone out there’ as this doom and gloom, the more I create it, accept it and allow it within and so within others and as this reality.

This is quite a revelation for myself because how can I go desiring ‘change’ in this world if I am not fully embracing and standing as the very pillar in all of my being to embrace such change and constructive and expressive outcomes that are possible for all of us if we decide to stand as it as well? It is impossible if I continue to want to in a way sabotage it or maim it or expect it to ‘not work out’ after all – yep, quite the ‘evil’ as reverse of life here – and so it becomes a way to justify ‘my experience’ in the face of change and constructive, expressive, enjoyable moments and I become my very own obstacle, my very own ‘challenging experience’ that is actually not of Life.

 Life is not experiencing itself as ‘emotional’ stuckness, but it finds a way to continue, to grow, to purify, to adapt, to expand, always, even if all around and all the ‘variables’ are against it, the proof is we are still here so that potential is also within ourselves– and that’s what I decide here to stand as and decide to live in every moment as myself.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify my addiction to doom and gloom and believing that ‘I was more grounded in reality by embodying or constantly ‘bringing up into my experience’ – notice as an EXPERIENCE – the same or similar things that I actually only can Imagine people out there are going through in an attempt to ‘make a stand for them’ as in making of myself that embodiment, as the ‘one point’ that almost wants to ‘rain down on everyone’s parade’ as a reminder of ‘how things are not ok in life and in this world’ therefore ‘I cannot just join in the constructive and supportive and expressive side’ and let go of what I have defined as my ‘real side’ – all things related to sadness, suffering, self sabotage, destruction, doom and gloom – which is in fact just a personality trait and experience that I’ve become so used to ‘being in’/existing as.

 In this I realize that all the times I’ve recoiled or criticized people that I have judged or even spited as ‘too happy’ or ‘too expressive’ were actually moments where I could see that there was this inner struggle, inner ‘battle’ to embrace that as me or a potential of myself, which is in fact the change to create and make space for within myself (out of my comfort zone) – therefore, in a way becoming like the character of ‘Wednesday’ (Merlina in spanish) Addams when being around all the happy kids in the camp and standing as that one point and reminder of all things related to the ‘opposite’ the kind of happiness everyone was up to there – lol – which is kind of funny because it relates very much to a personality trait I’ve become and embodied as myself, and that has actually already caused me some health situations before based on this constant ‘mourn’ in a subtle manner that exists based on focusing and reacting to ‘all the bad stuff’ going on in the world and in a way ‘re-enacting’ it within myself whenever I am confronted with something of supportive or what I had defined as ‘positive’ in nature.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the excuse of having this ‘undefined undercurrent experience within me that I don’t know what it is’ as apparently something that was ‘beyond my reach to change’, so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that ‘this is always going to be with me’ and ‘I cannot change it’ because ‘It’s the nature of my beingness’ wherein even if that is so in terms of how we’ve all programmed ourselves to the core to stand as separation, as all things ‘of the mind’, no matter what, we can still make that constant decision to not ‘follow the mind flow’ or ‘the usual experience’ but instead actually stand as that self-creation point In the moment, and how I see that it will be is making a seemingly ‘small shift’ within myself wherein instead of judging something or someone that is constructive, expressive, playful and showing that potential of what life is and can be, I allow myself to embrace that/them as myself, as something I must physically create space for and embrace within myself, and this is possible once that I do not ‘fill in the gap’ in that moment with the usual ‘me’ that is accustomed to yes seeing the benefit of change, growth, expansion, expression, self-creation and agreeing with it at a Consciousness or Mind level, but at a BEING level, I have not yet been fully ‘in it and as it’ as the totality of who I am.

Therefore this is where I have to become very aware of these subtle moments where this seemingly ‘undefined’ discomfort emerges in me upon witnessing growth, expansion, expression, enjoyment, playfulness and life in its multiple ways and expressions emerging, and so in that moment I can decide to deliberately take a deep breath so as to ‘make space’ for this new me to embrace these potentials that a situation, a person, an environment is presenting to me and that I can decide to be a part of it without judging it as ‘positive’ standing as a counter act to ‘all the negative’ – I have to in this moment let go of my usual ‘equation’ or ‘balancing act’ of me standing as the ‘reminder of all the bad things in the world’ and actually make space and learn how to stand as that ‘embracing of life’ within and as myself.

 

It’s interesting because for the most part what I’ve done in this deliberate decision to do supportive things for myself and others is that yes, it has felt as very unnatural, but I also realize how this seemingly experience of ‘going against the flow’ also has to do with a resistance to change, to put it bluntly and simply really, because only a resistance persists in a particular ‘inertia’ state and not being fully willing to change or making it ‘difficult’ but in my case, it is definitely a matter of a decision to do so.

Yes, it might probably feel like I am entirely going ‘against my grain and core’ but I have to remind myself that if this is the nature of my beingness as ‘evil’ as the reverse of life that isn’t able to embrace life and all of its potential as me, as a possibility and reality for me; then how can I in any way continue ‘advocating for change’ or be ‘promoting change’ or ‘expect the world to change’ if I am not ENTIRELY to the core of my being living, embodying and existing as that very life within myself.

Here, I have to treat this the same way as I have treated any other addiction really, because it’s a comfort zone, it becomes a justification to all things that we believe ‘are not up for us to change or challenges as who we are’ when in fact, I can see the obviousness of how if there’s anything that I am reacting to or subtly creating a discomfort about a point of expansion, of potential, of life, change and growth, I must stand fully as my awareness of this particular pattern of addiction to pessimism and doom and gloom and ‘things not changing’ and ‘remembering the suffering of everyone else in the world’ and realize that it is completely Futile/useless for me to turn those facts into a personal experience as an emotion within me, that I am in fact Not changing myself and not working/standing/applying myself to be the change in itself even to the core of my being, which practically means ‘not just agreeing with words’ but make that actual shift at core level of the nature of myself that I want to live by and express as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to dishonor life in this blatant way, by holding on to my ‘preferred’ states of being with subtle rejoicing at all things destructive and of the mind which are in no way an actual demonstration of me being an example of ‘living life’ but more like continuing the trend of our entire existence of self-sabotage and comfort in self destruction, seeking change ‘out there’ instead of focusing to the detail of myself here, which is where I can empower myself as change.

 

I’ve realized through all the supportive interviews at Eqafe.com that there’s a very simple way to ground these seemingly ‘undefined’ experiences into a solution by directly asking myself: “what am I hiding, covering up, justifying, excusing and validating with ‘my experience’? or “What am I NOT wanting to take responsibility for in my life, in my experience that stands as a form of spite in the face of life?”

Is all of this something that is pretty to face and acknowledge exists within oneself? Nope, and I could go into shame as to ‘how the hell have I allowed this to exist within me!?’ and into blame and feeling bad about it, lol – that would only catapult myself back to where I was before opening up this whole point so, that’s how judging one’s actions is a double-layer fuck-up that can be short-circuited by deciding NOT to judge what we’ve lived and become, and instead just Directly and straight-forward go to the solutions, to the decisions of changes to be made, to the actual practicing and embodying of the change that I have paid lip-service for, but that I had not actually fully embraced to the core of my being as a potential yet to develop and create, and nurture within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to never question my almost hatred and disdain towards that one aspect that my grandmother represented for me as the person that will always ‘feel bad’ about herself and only think about being sick and ill and even in the face of getting all the attention and support, sticking to complaining and making a big fuzz about things and almost like becoming addicted to conflict and fighting for her limitations, constant complain in most interactions I had with her and to judge her for that instead of first realizing that there is also a reason why she was like that.

So once that I looked and got to know of her entire life some of this made sense, but then I could also see how she literally abandoned herself, her life, her body, killing herself even if consciously ‘wanting to live’ and taking her meds, because her actions towards her body, her thoughts, her very relationships were not entirely that of actually wanting to stand as life, but more like the contrary. Here I have to forgive myself for judging my grandmother as this person that everyone in my family got to know I had a ‘conflictive’ relationship with, which also reflected how I wasn’t willing or even aware of taking such points that I disliked about her personality and her mind, and take them back to myself to see how I am living and embodying those same points within myself.

Of course when doing this, it’s not going to be ‘the exact same things’ she used to be and stand as, but I can read the pattern in terms of how I subtly‘cannot stand’  to see progress and development even if through my words and voice I can agree with it and support it, but I haven’t yet made the actual ‘space’ so to speak to truly embrace this as myself as an actual potential/possibility that exists for me, as myself, and for others as well.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to miss out the obvious points when it comes to investigating how I relate to and have judged some members in my family for showing certain traits that I’ve defined as plain horrible such as how it seems that anyone’s well being or good fortune creates a discomfort in them, and how I could ‘not make sense of it’ because of how I could not fathom – apparently – that someone could feel that way in the face of potential and support and  growth/expansion! – yet I have done the exact same thing yet not seeing it for what it actually is, but suppressing it interestingly enough as this nature of ‘how I am’ and not questioning it.

So, the devil is in the detail as in I have thought that as long as I deliberately utter words that are supportive and geared to create solutions, I was being the solution – but this is more of a physical experience that I am now aware of is there as an undercurrent/underlying presence that I had not challenged/question to the core within myself, therefore this is more of a physical embracing of life itself, not only at a knowledge and information level, but as a … how to explain it? A making of space and so a deliberate stand to embrace such potential, growth, expansion, awareness, change, development, expression, self-creation.

I’ve seen how many of us that are ‘too concerned’ about the world out there actually become this very ‘problem’ ourselves where we focus too damned much in the ‘outside’ that we forget to look at the very details of how, where and why we are creating this very same problem or recreation of friction and conflict within ourselves in our minds, thoughts, experiences and we don’t even question it or notice it and that’s a huge problem, because then we will recreate our addiction to only seeing the problems, to the hidden and covert ‘blame’ towards whatever or whoever or the system itself for why things not change, instead of realizing change as myself at this very core, not only in thought, word and deed or ‘good intentions’, because I’ve thought I was doing it, but this is also a BEING decision, a who I am and how I relate to or decide to express myself In the face of seeing/witnessing/standing in front of and in the midst of potential, growth, expansion, change, development, support, enjoyment and all of that which I have denied within myself as a potential of myself.

I can see that in both of my family lines, the constant experience was that of suffering, of pain, of dread, of depression, of inferiority, of melancholy and the rest of it, so, this is something that had become so ‘natural’ to me that I had not questioned it yet I can see this almost ‘addiction’ to misery of sorts, very weird! Yes but not to judge it any further though, but to understand it as just another way in which we function in our minds – some people are geared to the ‘happy’ and ‘all things positive’ in their minds, and some others are the opposite and I happened to be geared more in the ‘opposite’ so, I am just part of that polarity that divides ourselves in experiences instead of rather being able to embrace potential as life, undefined of ‘charges’.

I realize that it has been a very sneaky and subtle way for me to actually disempower myself when it comes to embracing possibilities of change, wherein a form of pessimism or negativity or ‘sticking to the reality of the majority’ becomes a comfort zone as well, wherein I use that as a reason and excuse of why I cannot embrace that change, expansion, possibility, creativity, expression within myself. And this is exactly the kind of personality I have embodied for most of my life.

Who I am within using ‘the facts’ as the reality of what is here in this world as an excuse of why I cannot embrace that potential of expansion, growth, expression, enjoyment as myself? I am avoiding responsibility to change myself, I am abdicating my own ability and going into a disempowerment which becomes also a comfort zone as to ‘why I cannot do anything to change the WHOOOLE world and system out there’ therefore, I remain in this sense of ‘stuckness’ to not take the point absolutely back to myself and see how I am still reacting and accepting this experience as ‘unchangeable’ within me, even in the most subtle/tiny experiences and situations when in fact, if there is one place where I can in fact stand fully as the change, is within myself.

So I essentially have to stop using the world, the ‘state of affairs’ of how things currently are as an excuse, reason and justification of why I cannot embrace actual and genuine change as in embracing and so giving creation to what exists as a potential of growth, development, expansion, self-creation and self-expression, wherein it has become easier for me to agree to it ‘at a mind level’ but not yet fully embrace it as the new nature of my being that I decide to live by – which is a great, great difference.

In my sneaky mind I validated this experience as something ‘true’ to myself, I even saw it as a way of being ‘compassionate’ to others maybe, a way to ‘care for others’ but this exists only as a moral facade really, as a ‘caring for others’ at a personality level, because as long as I don’t care entirely to change this very mechanism of spitefulness within me, how can I dare to say ‘I care for others and change in the world?’ I Cannot, because the very reaction that I am presenting to such actual change and possibilities is that of the reverse of embracing it, and that cannot continue being so in my being.

And this is something that I know for a fact is not only existent ‘in me’: our very nature at a mind and beingness level is that of containing some form of self-destruction, to keep ourselves controlled and in the comfortable illusion of disempowerment.

It is in that comfortable illusion of ‘being disempowered’ that we become the very embodiment of the systems that we are trying to apparently ‘change’ out there… this is so essential to understand really, it can potentially define the entire starting point that anyone can have toward creating ‘change’ in fact, and that’s how I’ve explained in past blogs that I no longer seek the change ‘out there’ but rather focus on the very necessary and indispensable change within each one of us, and it begins with these subtle changes that might take some attention and focus to become aware of, but one simply knows when there’s something ‘coming up’ as an experience in ourselves and that’s already a reaction, might not be a set of thoughts but subtle physical experiences, and that is IT.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not question this seemingly underlying experience within me that emerges every time there’s a witnessing or awareness on constructive, self supportive, developments, growth, self-creation and all things that are actually supportive wherein I would have a ‘discomfort’ within me, very subtle – yet brushed it aside every time, hoping it would ‘change’ itself, but I had not realized that it’s not so much me rationalizing ‘change’ but also at a being level making a decision to embrace these potentials as the life that exists within me, as the examples others are presenting of this and rather be grateful that I am seeing this now, rather than ‘later on’ or ‘never’ and continuing ‘tolerating’ my mind as this subtle physical experience.

 I realize that my affinity with doom and gloom is a way of keeping myself in a personality trait that even if I can in common sense I’ve seen the benefits of learning to live in a supportive manner, at a very deep/being level I wasn’t making that whole decision for myself entirely, but more at a knowledge and information level, more of a ‘moral’ stand point if you will instead of making the actual space to embrace and so develop such potentials to then focus on creating them as myself, as what I have yet to create as myself which sure, I have no ‘scheme’ or ‘predefined’ sets for, but I have seen glimpses of my potential and expression and abilities and skills, so I can continue developing those further and continuing learning from others, embracing them as examples I can learn from, which are other human beings in this same process that I learn a lot from, which is remarkable to say the  least and demonstrates the possibility of this at a humanity level.

This is a one point I ‘brushed off’ aside for so long I see, and all I can say is that this will be quite the challenge for me based on the subtle yet very noticeable change to be made here… I shall report back in time how I go bringing it into creation, into application in real time which is what this process is all about. Here I only suggest to be aware of points like these because it might get to a point where it’s not necessarily a set of thoughts popping into one’s head, but a very, very subtle physical reaction that one knows ‘it’s there’ and one has to then open it up to see it for what it is, to understand the pattern when it emerges and so see deeper into it.

That’s it for now, thanks for reading

 

Suggested recordings for the day:

• Tolerating Your Mind – The Crucifixion of Jesus – Part 90

• Who Can I Blame? – Atlanteans – Part 452

 

 

 

LOL!

 

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448. The Witch

This movie by Robert Eggers (2015) is one of – if not – my favorite one that I’ve watched so far this year. Why I liked this movie is because it presents in a very simplistic set-up how the real horrors and ‘problems’ – or things we don’t understand – and paranoia are first and foremost created in the human mind. The ‘stars’ of the movie are the emotions taken to the level of what we call mind possession and psychosis that leads to essentially the death of an entire family. Here I understand that there’s a whole different level in which the movie can be ‘read’ as well in terms of the symbols, Satanism, the time in which the history is set up which is in the 17^th century of puritans from the UK arriving to New England in America and the beliefs around witches as well, but here I’d like to focus more on observing the human mind and its influence on physical reality.

I recently listened to the audio ‘The Dark Mind’ in The Future of Consciousness series on Eqafe and this is a point that was mentioned: to realize the consequence that the mind can create on something that is real in this world, such as destroying relationships. And this is a seemingly simple statement, but it defines so much of what we’ve made of ourselves and what we’ve imposed onto this world based on our emotions, feelings, judgments, fears, opinions, beliefs and all of that combined becoming the decisive factor to do what we do or become what we become.

I can start with the role of the father of the family and how it was through his own pride and arrogance that he decides to leave the community that he was living in with his family  – the seven of them – and so ‘find his own way through’. It is with this decision that embark into a whole new space in the woods where food cannot really be grown, they have a hard time surviving and so that whole experience of lack starts leading the kids to dream of what it would be like to ‘live deliciously’ again, lol, how it was when they were in England and all the lifestyle they had and left behind, how they ran away to New England to not be prosecuted and continue prophesying a religion, which in itself is like going through their own ‘witch hunt’, very similar to what’s happening now with the world-paranoia on Muslims too, to name but one example.

So the religious factor is a key element here, and an example that can extend to any form of ‘self religion’ as a set of beliefs that  blind us from reality, creating all kinds of experiences like paranoia, fear, blame, guilt, hope, leading to the ultimate self-destruction and desperation in the characters of the movie upon seeing what is happening to them – starting off with their baby being robbed by the witch – and realizing that no matter how much they pray or hope that food grows, nothing and no one is coming to save them. This is something all of us can relate to when finally realizing that this world, our lives are our creation and they are entirely in our hands and there’s really no one coming to save us or said in another more straightforward way: there’s nothing to abdicate our responsibility to.

To me it’s still quite unbelievable to what extent people can STILL believe there is some force or god or saint ‘guiding their lives’ or ‘healing them’ and not being aware of at all how their lives are entirely the product of one’s own thoughts, words, deeds and so of our collective environment we all individually and collectively co-create. But! I once was there in that kind of mentality and it does take a process – time and practical application – to debunk these religious constructs within oneself to finally grasp to what extent we have created our own fairy tales like gods and guides and spirits looking after us just because we didn’t want to take absolute responsibility for ourselves, for our own creation and recognize ourselves as the creators of it all.

 

– Paranoia in the elemental unit of society: the family

 

A fascinating element is the paranoia that is created around the role of ‘the witch’ which I’d like to place it here as an archetype – more than the mythical role – that we’ve created as human beings to dissociate ourselves from any evil, from any bad and nasty ways of being and we instead have created these figures like ‘the devil’ or ‘the witches’ and ‘the demons’ because we are not willing to face these points within ourselves and our lives, and acknowledge it as part of our human nature, an aspect that comprises ‘who we are’ that we’ve mostly suppressed and hidden because we fear looking at it and realizing what really exists within ourselves. I consider that this is marvelously represented in this movie where you see these very pious and ‘well behaved’ individuals, very devoted, yet once that the emotional mind possession kicks in for various reasons in all of them, they lose ground and end up dead and killing each other as a result of it. Lol, I know this may sound harsh but after all this is meant to be a ‘horror’ movie and I would say it is psychological horror as in the horrors that we can create in our minds and impose onto physical reality causing such disgrace.

I actually see this movie not so much as a ‘look into the past’ – even though cinematographically its accuracy and representation can perfectly transport us to the 1600’s – but also as a representation of that same ‘human mind’ that hasn’t really evolved or changed for the better throughout time, it hasn’t evolved to become a tool with which we can become ‘better human beings,’ not yet, because it won’t happen by itself obviously, we have to actively do this change. If anything the state of our minds and so the world has gotten worse and in this very neat example of the outcomes with this puritan family in the 1600’s stands even as a prophecy of what can STILL happen if we keep placing our lives in the hands of our minds, our emotions, our fears and desires, waiting for some god or guide or light or universe or whatever to help out instead of taking responsibility for our own emotions, our own experiences, our own deepest and darkest secrets and desires that can ‘erupt’ in a very, very consequential manner if we don’t deal with them effectively, and only suppress them.

Part of what we see with very pious people is that there’s a hell of suppressed thoughts, feelings, emotions, essentially energy that is hidden at the back of our minds, that we don’t even want to see, face or recognize as our own because we judge it and because in religion one is constantly hoping for, praying for and venerating all that is ‘good’, yet when ‘the shit hits the fan’ in our reality of course all of that positive thinking won’t do a thing because what we need to do is to Understand and realize HOW we created ‘the problem’ and how we are co-creators of that situation, instead of standing as seemingly victimized ‘pawns of god’ that were suddenly punished by the invisible hand.

So if anything this movie can be taken to our current context to ask ourselves how much are we still delegating our responsibility in our lives, in our experiences, in how we deal with our consequences or ‘unfortunate’ events, where is one still blaming others – the devil, a witch, a god, a black goat – lol – or your partner, the government, your neighbor, your parents, a politician? Lol – and so instead learn how to ‘take the bull by the horns’ in our lives and realize that suppressing these emotions, these ‘problems’, hiding them and keeping a face of ‘everything is fine’ is only a time-bomb waiting to explode.

As we can see in the movie, all the tension is built in such a multi-dimensional/multi-faceted manner, that the idea of the witch is only but one ‘cherry on the cake’ to make it a psychological thriller if you will, based on the epoch it was situated in and so forth. But this is actually about the suppressed fears, pride, anguish, blame, survivalism, sexual desires n and the rest of points that one would have to actively be aware of, actively be opening up and directing in our lives because if hidden, suppressed and not dealt with = they can become our ‘worst nightmare’ as it is actually represented in the movie, where it is also quite symbolic to see that this seemingly ‘well together’ family starts falling apart and going into conflict with one another, yet suppressing it all until it becomes so much, this unstoppable ‘energy force’ that leads to fatal outcomes. Of course here relating to the actual energy that we create in our minds that then we listen to as thoughts in our heads and eventually act upon it based on this ‘overwhelming’ experience, where we essentially lose ourselves to the mind, and that’s where one becomes possessed and I guarantee that each one of us have experienced this same thing one way  or another.

An example is how upon seeing the outcome with the baby being stolen and Caleb – the son – being possessed, there’s a hidden blame toward the father that led the family out of the community, there’s a blame toward Thomasin – the daughter – for not being aware when the baby was stolen by ‘the witch’ and the resentment that exists in Thomasin when she finds out she’s going to be sold by her father in order to get the family some money; then there’s the wife/mother that is holding a grudge to the father for selling that silver cup to get some food, and in general the kids that started ‘praising the devil’ and becoming also possessed, which was represented in the form of being overtly playful which is something that also is attempted to be repressed based on the nature of their religion and ways as a family.

Caleb is also getting to have an awakening in his sexuality and eventually starts suppressing it, hiding it, not looking at it, only to entirely be tempted by it and ‘falling for it’ when it comes to being lured by the witch herself. The father fights his own inner demons trying to extricate himself through hard physical word, yet ends up having a fight with ‘the goat’ to the point of dying, because he ends up ‘losing it’ as in going mad within himself instead of understanding what he was facing and maybe placing his pride aside to go back to the community.  “Corruption, thou are my father” were his last words due to – possibly – having to admit he lied or didn’t speak up to the wife about him having stolen the cup and instead allowing the daughter to be accused of stealing it and being a witch and ‘bringing a curse to the family’.

 

And then we have Thomasin who is like the perfect example of how we can create our ‘self-fulfilled prophecies’ when it comes to being  called ‘the witch’ or having ‘made a deal with the devil’ which leads her to be placed into judgment by the entire family. We also see that she did feed the lies around it possibly, maybe due to boredom or a desire for some actual ‘super powers’ or a ‘better life’ or just to create an ‘alternate reality’ to avoid not facing the stark reality they were ‘trapped’ into. She ends up killing her mother as a way to defend herself which leaves her with no family members at all and so taking that last decision to ‘convert into a witch’ or ‘sign the deal with the devil’ also based on wanting to fulfill the desires that she had inside her.  I remember something like this happening to me where based on a certain image others had of me and called me a particular manner, I actually ended becoming ‘that’ as well as a form of self-fulfilled prophecy where we trap each other with judgments, and if one is not ‘standing on one’s ground’ enough, one accepts such tag upon oneself to become it entirely, which is obviously one of the problems we create in our relationships with people as well as with ourselves.

The final part of the movie we get the whole infamous part where the goat/devil/Black Phillip asks ‘do you want to live deliciously?’ and presenting her with a series of desires and wants that she had probably been dreaming of and aspiring to get in her mind, yet not fully understanding what it would mean to ‘sign the deal’ and get all of that and at what expense, which is not shown in the movie and I agree it does end in a way that glorifies this notion of empowerment through becoming a witch in that sense, which is not my point here at all.  We can instead see it nowadays with everyone that is made ‘rich and famous’ in music or entertainment industries and have to ‘sign the deal with the devil’ – literally in many ways – which involves sacrificing one’s life  or other living beings to get a certain experience, any form of ‘high’ that is sustained in an artificial manner…  but I won’t go into that story because it would be reaching other realms of realizing how ‘evil’ we all in fact are when only seeking our own personal interests at the expense of everyone and everything else, hence the recommendation to watch the movie to see an ‘extreme’ form of our human mind and how it is not such a far fetched situation, considering this kind of things happen every day if reading the local news and not so mainstream newspapers.

We might gasp and do ‘aaahs and ooohhs and eeewwws’ when we see the actual gruesome things that one human being can do to other living beings, but, we actually commit this sacrifice in our very own bodies every single day as well, every single time that we give directive control to our minds instead of learning to be self-honest and self directed, understand what self-restrain and self-control means when it comes to watching our thoughts, watching what kind of ‘desires’ we are fueling, what kind of experience are we ‘wishing upon’ toward oneself and others, that’s what we have to become self honest about: to face the grime within ourselves, to learn how to walk through it and so be able to live with ourselves, with our minds in a supportive and co-creative manner.

So as a conclusion on the final ‘conversion’ of Thomasin into a witch, I’d like to see it as a representation of how there’s always that potential in all of us to either decide or make the choice of what one wants in to live in one’s life and what one is willing to do to get it, regardless of it being ‘good or bad’ but rather identifying the practicality of such desires and wishes.  So there was that potential in Thomasin from the beginning to ‘go to the dark side’ but not just in ‘her’ but in everyone else as it was demon-strated throughout the movie.

Every character faced their own possession and so their own outcomes based on it, which is what I find makes this movie so fascinating and a one-of-a-kind seemingly ‘simple’ story where we actually get to see precisely these consequences that we create upon physical reality based on what we accept and allow to go unquestioned, undirected and deliberately suppressed, hidden or buried in ourselves. And not realizing that this will ultimately ‘come back to the surface,’ and we rather be prepared how to face it or prevent it all by embracing, understanding and learning how to work through our ‘dark self, our dark mind’, learn how to effectively change and align that part that exists in all of us – no one is excluded – and so prevent real physical consequences that are and can be in ultimate sense irreversible as well.

We can be blinded by our own fears, beliefs and opinions instead of dealing with it as our own creation, to realize that the devils, the demons, the ‘dark’ and ‘evil’ is not an outside or external force, but it exists within us all. If we surrender to our minds and its demons and evil  – as everything that stands as the reverse of live – and only seek a form of self-interest, we also are making that decision to give away our sovereignty, our self-governance and self-direction, ending up ‘sign that deal’ to give up all self-creation to that part of ourselves as the mind that we all know is not the best version of ourselves, the one part that is trapped seeking energetic experiences all the time, an ultimate ‘high’ of any kind, which is ultimately what the ‘real witch’ in the movie seems to do, to sacrifice a baby for some kind of experience of beauty or ‘super powers’ = same as what we tend to focus on creating with our feelings and emotions or energy in our minds.

We don’t realize that this ‘temptation’ is actually compromising ourselves, yet we ‘give in’ when we are presented with ‘the temptation’ and usually masked as something we enjoy, we desire, we want to ‘fulfill’ with ourselves, but we don’t look at what or how we are compromising ourselves to get it, and in an ultimate sense what do we want to honor in our lives: an experience, an appearance, a status? Or who we really are in our thoughts, words and deeds as living beings?

So something practical to remind ourselves as human beings is how we all agreed to be part of the human body and this reality based on the promise of ‘experiences’ of having this really ‘good time’ on Earth, and so ‘signing the contract’, agreeing to be in the body and in this life on Earth as a human, not really knowing what the hell we were getting ourselves into.  And the same goes nowadays when we are lured by money, power, sex and pleasure, all the ‘seemingly good experiences’ and not really realizing if that’s where the real substance of life is, if that’s what we really want to make of ourselves and our lives.  Just consider what Caleb could have prevented if he wasn’t lured by the seemingly astonishing appearance of the witch, only to later on realize the gruesome experience he was going to go through, which led him to his dead.

I consider it very timely to discuss and open up these points and ‘darker subjects’ in our process where these phases are opening up in Eqafe interviews – some I am listing below – and a practical thing to take on from the movie is to ask ourselves, what do we still fear facing or opening up within ourselves, what are we still giving too much ‘power’ and attention in our minds that we know it’s not beneficial for us, what are we still allowing to have as a form of temptation within us and not seeing it for the ‘energetic experience’ we are seeking, why we are desiring it or seeking it and learn to deliberately ‘take the spell away’ and see it ‘for what it  is’ and apply self-direction, self-restrain and self-control to handle this….

I leave a link to the hangout/discussion we had on this movie as well and definitely suggest to check it out. It’s not your typical ‘horror movie’, it’s a really well made movie, a one of a kind that I haven’t seen in a long time, so, enjoy it and enjoy taking these points of the movie back to yourself.

 

 

Suggested Interviews, to prevent yourself from having your own ‘Witch’ experience in real life:

– The entire series of Demons in the Afterlife, for everyone fascinated and/or interested in the actuality of the demon world.

 

• The Dark Mind – The Future of Consciousness – Part 80
•  Dark Self: True Nature of Self – Atlanteans – Part 440
• Self Equality & Physical Equality – Demons in the Afterlife – Part 72

 

• Possession: The Design of – Atlanteans – Part 408
•  From Minimum to Maximum – Atlanteans – Part 409
•  Possession: Inner War – Atlanteans – Part 410
•  Possession: Stuck in Perceptions – Atlanteans – Part 411
•  Possession: Giving Support & Direction – Atlanteans – Part 412
• Possession: Ego, Arrogance & Self Honesty – Atlanteans – Part 413
• Possession: Creating Self Movement – Atlanteans – Part 414

 

• Paranoia: The Starting Point – Reptilians – Part 199

• Paranoia: Mind Bending Reality – Reptilians – Part 200
  Paranoia: Walking out of Paranoia (Part 1) – Reptilians – Part 201

• Paranoia: Walking out of Paranoia (Part 2) – Reptilians – Part 202

 

446.Facing our Dark Self: For the New to Grow, the Old Must Go

 

Self honesty is not nice or beautiful – Bernard Poolman

 

Facing the dark self or the ‘real nature of ourselves’ that we keep hidden and well wrapped behind a usual seemingly ‘good’ portrayal of ourselves is something that can be a bit tough to do or even understand for some that are not yet in a process of walking and understanding the process of self-honesty, yet at the same time I’m sure there are people in this world that are quite in contact with themselves and through investigating their within and without behind layers of self-deception, might have found that there is no connection between the idea that we like to keep of ourselves as ‘good people’ and our creations, which are our lives, our relationships and the state of this world.

 

The consequences we are facing overall in our lives personally and collectively show us that ‘the image of goodness’ we like to keep of ourselves is merely that, an image, a façade for the most part because in reality, the proof is in the pudding: we have not really created a world any of us can be genuinely and entirely proud of.

 

If we were genuinely ‘good’ we would not be currently waking up to the need for change and better ourselves in a plethora of aspects, and this is yes maybe still a fraction of the population that is looking at it in a direct manner, but over the years it has now become a normal thing to talk about change and bettering our world, self-improvement, changing our ‘ways’ in our lives. There is this general awareness that ‘we must do something’ because the very life in our bodies and so on Earth is in danger due to our skewed ways of ‘living’ in this world.

 

Why do I write ‘living’? because we actually haven’t learned to live in a way that assists our lives and life in general, we have only existed as an existential consequential outflow that has become our current reality, where we mostly complain, blame and see the problem ‘outside of ourselves’ but rarely do we ever dare to see where the nature of the problem resides: within oneself first of all.

 

Recently a new phase in this process has opened up where there will be more openings and explanations on this ‘dark self’ nature, to start seeing and rather un-covering up all of those aspects of ourselves that we have suppressed, neglected, denied, hid, judged and dissociated ourselves from, not wanting to look at and investigate all the seemingly ‘negative’ or ‘bad’ or ‘plain awful’ in ourselves. However, we haven’t really noticed how this ‘opening of eyes’ – perhaps the actual ‘apocalypse’ as in removing of the veil’ of our eyes to really see ourselves – that is taking place individually and collectively is a very necessary yes, ‘bitter truth’ or ‘uncomfortable truth’ phase that we have to wake up to and step into in order to from there, in firm ground and after facing one’s own ‘personal demons’ start taking the necessary steps to change and reverse the self-destructive trend we have been living up to in our lives, within and without.

It’s a actually a mindfully smart trap of self-sabotage, where we don’t realize that through digging out these points and ‘placing them on the table’ for us to see and become aware of, it is not merely doing so for shock value or to add on more judgment in the form of seeing how ‘bad we really are’ and create a drama about it, nope. We bring these points to the surface to understand them.

This is such a pivotal word: understanding, a key one I’d say when it comes to everything that we are facing in our lives and in our process – individually and globally – where we get terrified at the ‘horrors’ that are taking place in our day to day lives, but we keep it at that ‘shock value’ and squirm about it, become sad about it, become angry at others for it, but… do we actually take a moment to reflect on the nature of what’s going on ‘outside’ of ourselves and see how it is a reflection of all of the stuff we have left to ‘rot’ in the back of our minds, with no awareness, no direction and no solution given to it all, but only creating consequences that affect us all? Well, now that most of us have done it for lifetimes on, it is about time that we all get to know that it is through self-investigation as in writing it out, self-forgiving it and in doing so developing self-honesty to realize the responsibility we have toward ourselves and everything/everyone that is equally here, that we in fact take the reins of our lives because we will understand ‘why’ we did what we did, why we became what we became, why we are walking this process right now and at the same time apply all the necessary tools of self-support that we can use to lay out a plan, what to do from here, ‘where to go from here’ too, which is to create ourselves in a way that we are of course willing to live with for the rest of our existence.

 

Being unconditional throughout this ‘self-discovery’ process is also important which is to not expect a result or ‘something’ out of this exercise, but only doing so as a way to see oneself with a pair of eyes of self-understanding to then create self-awareness and so then see where we need to ‘work on ourselves’ in order to do the next steps to truly create a change within that lasts, that is real and genuine.

 

I’ve also seen how in our minds, we just don’t really want to ‘face the music’ meaning, diving into and uncovering these usually hidden, closed up, buried aspects of ourselves because: of how we judge them! What I’ve seen is that we don’t realize that stepping into this momentarily ‘uncomfortable’ spot of ‘facing the music’ is in fact a phase, a momentary yet necessary step to start seeing the reality of ourselves in order to create anything new as an improved version of ourselves within and so without.

 

As the saying goes: ‘In order to build the new, the old must go’ and sometimes we believe that we can start a process of change by only ‘tip-toeing’ around it, only doing bits here and there on the surface, stuff that is not really ‘too revealing’ or too seemingly ‘compromising’ to one’s idea of self, which is usually that of being a ‘good person’… instead of realizing that such stance toward one’s self-investigation and self-change process will only prolong everything, because if one really wants to plant a ‘new seed,’ one has to completely uproot the old/dying plants/trees and make space to grow the new. So, the same way one goes uprooting the old trees, removing the weeds, sometimes finding rotting stuff around and essentially just like with any cleaning process of an ‘old storage place’ or even one’s closet at times – lol –  it can be a bit of a nightmare. One looks at the ‘whole of the work to be done’ and it’s like we immediately want to cover our eyes, pretend it’s not there, procrastinate or postpone getting to clean it up, create a resistance to ‘get on with the cleaning process’… and I see this whole process of facing the ‘deep dark corridors’ of ourselves and directing ourselves to look more in the face of our real truth as that process where we start ‘the clean up’ and sure, it’s not nice at the beginning, even more so if one has just used one space up as a form of mental dumpster, but for now imagine it as a physical storage space where everything seems to be clogged around with trash and things to dispose, things to clean up and re-use, going through a selective process of what stays, what needs to go, what needs to be fixed…. I actually did that some months ago in one storage area and yes, it wasn’t fun at first, it didn’t take ‘5 minutes’ either, but it was worth it, because now the space is more in order and usable as well.

The same then applies to facing this ‘dark self:’ opening up ourselves to see our ‘real nature’ that we might not even be aware of yet – in certain cases –  might not be such a pleasant thing to do, might not be a ‘ride in the park’ either but it is also a momentary phase, a needed phase if one truly wants to ‘let go of the old in order to allow the new to flourish.’ I mean it’s common sense really, one doesn’t really want to start cooking in dirty pots, one would not want to have one’s body full of viruses in the moment of deciding to get pregnant and have a baby in, one would not want one’s room to be having dirty clothes lying around and pests forming from food residues while one tries to place on a new carpet and bed on top of it…. Same goes for our minds.

 

And this is not something that will only take the ‘personal clean-up’ either and be done with it, no, this goes hand in hand with at the same time and as we face our deep fears, secrets, grudges, personal traits, envies, guilt, sadness, depression, anger, hatred, cheatings, betrayals etc. at the same time we also hold those points now in our hands, in front of our face in the form of writing and self-forgiveness in order to become aware of it: we no longer create a relationship of avoidance, of fear and judgment toward it, but instead we learn to embrace it entirely because, it is in fear and judgment that we in fact separate ourselves from all of the ‘dark self’ and keep it locked in a seemingly nice suitcase that we drag along throughout our lives, like a heavy load of ‘dirty laundry’ that one carries as the ‘who I am in my secret mind’ without actually going and doing the laundry.

This is an analogy to explain how we need to start ‘doing our laundry’ for once and for all, take the ‘bull by the horns’, step out of our comfort ‘good person’ zone and be willing to see this truth of ourselves that not only will show all the seemingly ‘bad stuff’ or ‘evil’ within, but at the same time we will get the actual cues or points to then work on and so align/reverse to living principles, to beneficial traits and habits, to supportive outcomes for ourselves and so for others. That is the gift that comes with ‘uprooting the old’, cleaning up the space, preparing the soil/ground in order to grow the new seeds that will give birth to the new trees, that, of course! Won’t be fully grown in a 1,2,3! It will take lots of time and care/support as in nutrients, attention, adaptation for it to grow well; that’s what our whole process is about as well, but this growth and expansion from a seed can only happen if we first make sure that we walk through ‘the old’, the ‘baggage of the past’ that we are unreasonably keeping within us as this form of mental masochism really, because we have the tools of self-forgiveness, self honesty and living words to precisely be able to forgive ourselves for all of that, no matter how ‘bad’ it may seem, no matter how painful it might be to realize what one has been and become: let’s realize it’s only a memory now, it’s only an emotional experience, we can’t remediate what’s done, but we surely can focus on who we are and what we want to ‘grow’ ourselves to be.We only have ourselves to do this work for us.

 

A suggestion – that goes for me and everyone that reads this – is: not to fear diving into the core of oneself, not to fight or resist questioning one’s ‘absolute benevolence’ in a pious act of ‘awareness’, not to be reluctant or resist doing the actual ‘clean up’ that is necessary to continue growing and expanding as a real living being. I know for a fact our hold to the past only diminishes our capacity and potential if we don’t entirely let it go/self-forgive and correct it, so that no matter how ‘awful’ this might seem, I’d rather choose to walk through this ‘uncomfortable’ spot for a moment and then be actually free/liberated from all of that stuff, than holding onto it and continuing limiting myself, my potential and so others’ as well.

It’s only our judgments, our fears, our personal idea of keeping oneself only in a ‘good light’ as being only a ‘good person’ that truly prevent us from actually developing self-honesty, to face the ‘not nice and not pretty’ side of ourselves. This benevolent idea of oneself is what has kept the same problems intact, because of fearing opening ourselves up, to access our truth, to dare and say for once and for all “ok what is existent within me, how did I get to create this?” And so realize that we actually got all we need to correct it, to align it, to change ourselves.

This is actually a phase in our lives that I am grateful to be living in, because now I understand what ‘real change’ implies.  I cannot fathom what my life would be without being aware of all the history of ourselves, the actual explanation of who we are, what we are we doing here, why this process exists, how our minds/bodies and beingness functions, all the life hacks and keys to walk this process that is shared/published on a biweekly basis on Eqafe.com, I seriously would not be here and writing all of this if I didn’t have access to all of that support and information that I essentially nurture myself with on a constant basis to continue learning every time how to live and be the best version of myself I can be.

This process is truly a gift to oneself, I know it may sound much of a prefabricated note but I can truly say it from having been ‘at it’ for some time and seeing the benefits of it every single day. Walking the Desteni I Process is a genuine life investment that won’t ‘go down’ with the dollar, or devaluate as your real state or your latest car – lol – but this is an investment for a lifetime and dare I say, even beyond that.

So! Buckle up your seat belt, gather some courage to discover one’s self-honesty and not be ashamed, fearful or judgmental about what one may find within oneself, it’s been said throughout time to ‘know thyself’ and that means ‘go deep, my friend’ because the benefit from doing so is actual self-empowerment

 

Thanks for reading

 

Give your first steps to do this with the Free Course DIP Lite version, test yourself!

 

Suggested interviews:

1. Dark Self: True Nature of Self – Atlanteans – Part 440
2. Time: Is Time Real? – Atlanteans – Part 441
3. Time: Time & Me – Atlanteans – Part 442

 

 

Learn HOW to start doing this yourself :

• School Of Ultimate Living | Facebook

• 7 Year Journey To Life Process : People Sharing their Processes of Self-Forgiveness and Self-Correction
• Desteni
• Desteni Articles
• Destonians
• Desteni I Process
• Agreement/Redefining Relationship Course
• Desteni Forum : Discuss and share with us
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• Creation’s Journey to Life
• Heaven’s Journey To Life

411. Do Good and Evil Really Exist?

We tend to want to hold on to the idea of ourselves being ‘good people’ or there being really ‘good people’ out there without questioning what the origin or starting point of such goodness exists.  With this it’s not to imply that there’s no ‘good’ at all but certainly it is a cool point to investigate all the aspects that one has defined as ‘good’ within oneself and simply check the starting point for it: am I genuinely being assistive and supportive toward others because I see that it makes sense to support and assist others the way I would want to be assisted by other individuals as well and so make it the principles by which we all coexist in  – OR am I doing it for the sake of how others will see me, how I believe I can be rewarded for ‘being good’ or ‘doing good’ and using it as a form of ‘good credit’ for oneself in relation to others.

First point to realize here is that we can all change the starting point of what we have defined as ‘good’ based on that which is beneficial and supportive to ourselves and one another. Maybe we just haven’t yet considered how certain acts of kindness, generosity or wanting to be a good person/ ‘being a good person’ can in fact be a counter act/ a clean-up/contrition act from past experiences that could have been the exact opposite to everything perceived as good or benevolent, such as having been very selfish, authoritarian, careless toward others and so one then feels like ‘we have to make up for it all’ through becoming the opposite polarity as a ‘good person.’ In this we have the absolute ability to decide we want to change this because we see that doing ‘bad’/harmful and abusive things to oneself and others is not the way to go, and so one makes the decision to change and commits oneself to practically live it – but! If after realizing one is actually using the ‘bad/evil’ as a memory or starting point to ‘do good’ and we only go to the opposite polarity as in now wanting to do good and be good and almost push it so much in an expectation to gain ‘the grace of god’ so to speak as in seeking to feel good/positively within oneself for ‘cleaning one’s acts’ with ‘good/positive deeds’ or for example to be seen with ‘good eyes’ by others/ get the approval from others or be recognized as a form of good-doer or any other ‘high moral standard’ we may have within ourselves – such as the driving force behind altruism and charitable acts – then the starting point is rather misaligned and further destructive than constructive.

 

Why? Because doing ‘good’ based on the cleaning-up act for the ‘evil/bad’ past is merely believing that the answer is doing the opposite. What I’ve realized in this process is that merely opting for ‘the opposite’ is not a suggested way to go because in this we recreate the pattern of the ‘good’ vs. the ‘bad’ or evil – which is a definition, a charged experience toward something that could be simply supportive/non supportive. What usually happens is that one creates one’s own trap within the good vs. bad morality polarity enslavement which is the foundation of, for example, the church/religious systems that play on in this good vs. evil principle to manipulate people to ‘do good’ based on fearing being punished for ‘all the bad.’  The same is ingrained in a secular person that perceives the law/government as the authority in a society and so, that person will still ‘do good’ based on fearing to be punished/standing in bad credit against law/government/financial systems or any other authority as well as peers in society as well. So here we become subject to our own constructs, to our own punishment-reward mentality to which we give a negative and positive value respectively where we then either feel good or bad about something, instead of rather asking oneself: well, am I being supportive to myself and others? am I considering living principles in my thoughts, words and deeds as a principle of who I decide to be?  OR am I only acting in either a ‘good’ manner to get an energy fix from it, to get acceptance, validation, recognition and better living positions in many occasions where ‘doing good’ is linked to being rewarded for it in an economic manner as well? One can then ponder: is there any genuine ‘good’ then or are we only acting out on either looking for a ‘good feeling’/positive experience within ourselves or escaping from/making up for past ‘bad’/evil deeds that one felt ‘bad’ about and wanting to ‘do good’ now to not FEEL or hide within self all the perceived evil/bad without first understanding it?

Here the first point I suggest considering is that a process of self change involves realizing and understanding that one will not ‘feel good’ as in having to create a positive experience every time you simply decide to correct/align yourself to the best possible supportive and sustainable outcome.  It is to realize that deciding to change oneself, to be self-supportive toward oneself and others is not in itself a ‘good’ deed that stands in contrast to doing ‘bad’ because in that, even by considering the solution to be ‘positive’ we re-create and trap ourselves again in the good vs. bad mentality/mind construct which is how we then believe that if we do ‘good’ = we can FEEL great/good/superior/better etc. and feel like being at the top of the world with all this glory – which is an energetic experience. Here we can consider some physical laws: what goes up must go down and so we perceive that the ‘down’ experience is negative, while it is only getting down from the ride way up high.

To prevent this up and ride experience between the ‘good vs. bad/evil’ and the experiences one gets through them is to then focus on realizing that doing what is best for all is not something that one should create a ‘good experience’ about, or that it should be rewarded, receive recognition or get some sense of validation for now being a ‘good person’ and doing ‘good deeds’ – nope. It is to realize that what one is doing in this decision to change one’s destructive/harmful/abusive acts is simply directing oneself to live in an alignment with how things/life/our minds should have always work: considering what is best for all, assessing one’s participation in thought word and deed in every moment within oneself and toward others/the environment so that we ensure that every single moment we are aligning to these principles and within doing so, we integrate this reference as the new human nature we want to become and see in this world – it implies simply aligning ourselves to how things should have always been which is not less or more than what currently exists, we don’t have coin sluts to gain value for doing good or get some kind of physical body or substance extraction for doing ‘bad’ things either…

Within this then one removes the ‘charges’ to any positive or negative value to the perceived ‘good’ and the perceived ‘bad’ and so be able to understand bad/evil as the reverse of life, as a mistaken road one took that requires to be corrected/realigned so that it can be functional/supportive with what is best for all by walking a process of self-directive correction. This then prevents the whole ‘fallen’ experience, the guilt trip-traps and the whole mentality that one is ‘done’ or ‘never will get it right’ as we all tend to give up so easily in our minds when believing that we are just evil and have no remedy – which is also another self-victimization pattern to not actually take the time, effort and dedication that it takes to change oneself, which is mostly a decision to let go of the energy high linked to doing good and the guilt/bad experience when doing all the perceived ‘bad.’

With this also comes the necessary realization that: we’ve never dedicated our lives to direct this realignment to how we should have always ‘functioned’ in our minds and in our world – if things were just ‘fine’ in this world and anything had really been genuinely ‘good’ or ‘supportive’ we would not be seeking to change ourselves and this world all over, as we would be living such change as a new living principle for ourselves as humanity = this hasn’t happened and that’s why we have to realize that it is a process, it takes active participation and self-awareness in every moment we are alive to be continually living/applying this re-direction within oneself to in every moment assess one’s words, thoughts deeds to create/contribute to the change we see is beneficial for oneself and all parts in an equally supportive manner – that can also be understood as no harm, no abuse toward oneself and others – and instead doing what is constructive, supportive for oneself and others who are also ‘ourselves’ in fact.

Therefore one can also be more aware next time when we perceive that one wants to hold onto this ‘goodness’ within self or the perceived ‘goodness’ in others and Really investigate what such ‘good’ consists of, why we perceive it as ‘good’, what is the starting point of such thing we perceive as good and so consider the following: because our minds and this entire world system was built within the foundation of a non-supportive/abusive and non-equal basis, we cannot genuinely expect a supportive principle to exist as a general ‘trait’ or inherent property/inherent nature of human beings, of who we are as the mind – including the way that we have built this world system based on our own mind-constructs where it is evident it is not benefiting everyone the way it should –which is why I suggest to re-evaluate whenever one perceives someone to be ‘naturally good’ and get to know how such person ‘became’ a good person and what their story is. From that we can also learn why we tend to hold on to ‘the good’ so much and fear the evil/bad.

Having said this, it is more to realize that the construct of morality as the polarity of ‘good vs. evil’ is a definition, a construction we create in order to trap ourselves in the problem without focusing on the practical solutions required to align our thoughts, words and deeds to a supportive outcome. The potential to go ‘either way’ exists within each one of us in every moment that we are living here, which is why I see it as important to share some practical ways to rather use the morality construct as another tool of self-assessment to see ‘who am I’ toward the good vs. evil mentality.

 

One can then use the words ‘good’ and ‘bad’ in the following constructive manner:

–  If I perceive a ‘good’ aspect within me, something I’ve defined as ‘good’ within myself (or others) then I have to ask myself: what is motivating me to do/think this which I’ve defined as good? What is my starting point? Am I expecting something in return to this? Am I wanting to be seen as a good person by others? What experience as a feeling do I get when I believe myself to be good or am told by others that I am a ‘good person’? And so apply self-forgiveness for all the energy charges around these ‘good deeds/thoughts/experiences’ as all the positively-charged definitions so that what’s left is only the raw-living actions that are genuinely supportive, that are and can become part of one’s new natural/inherent expression of living by principles, by actions, by living words instead of being moved through/by energy all the time where we play the reward/punishment type of assessment or ‘equation’ in our minds based on energetic highs and lows, instead of just seeing the benefit for oneself and all if we think/say/act in a way that is best for all and vice versa if we don’t do/act/think based on what is best for all.

– If I observe some ‘bad’ aspect within me then I have to ask myself: why have I defined this as bad? Who, what and how am I affecting myself and others with these defined bad/evil thoughts, words and deeds? If I realize that I am genuinely harming or abusing myself and others then how can I correct/align this point that I’ve defined as bad? And so use this assessment to rather create a practical plan to correct and align in a directive manner this ‘bad/evil’ aspect within oneself to a supportive and constructive outcome. This is how then making mistakes or creating the perceived ‘fall’ is simply an opportunity to evaluate: ok where did I miss a point of direction, why we did that which we knew was not supportive or where did we miss a point of self-awareness where we acted upon past patterns, upon the ingrained non-supportive thoughts/deeds that lead us to a known path which is that of non-constructive/self-destructive choices and consequential outflows. We all then can constantly learn from our perceived ‘bad/evil’ mind construct while at the same time, applying self-forgiveness for acting out on such thoughts that are detrimental to oneself and others after which one can then make a firm assessment and decisive plan to support oneself to correct/align this point within oneself from here on as a Living Principle.

 

This is a way I can see one can go ‘shedding’ the moral construct of good vs. bad, to ensure there’s no positive or negative charge to either side but only assess the words said, the actions taken, the consequences that ensue and then see what is required to be changed to align it to living principles and what does one practically require to do to live this plan of corrective action. This is how the tools of writing, applying self-forgiveness and self-corrective application become our constant tools of self-investigation and our do-it-yourself evaluation foundation to get to know ourselves and for example investigate who am I within the ‘good’ and ‘bad’ construct, how does this exist within me and if such words still create an experience either positive or negative within myself.

 

There’s no point in wanting to hold on to something ‘good’ of which we don’t exactly yet know its origin and starting point of, and mostly I would actually suggest to practically doubt anything that’s apparently ‘good’ or ‘positive’ in nature as then we have to assess what motivates it, what ‘funds’ it ($), what are the interest behind it, is there any past ‘evil’ that’s being used as a starting point for oneself or others to do now ‘good’ as an energetic experience or ‘reward’ process in self-interest? And so we take off the mask of ourselves as our mind – which is in itself not at all ‘good’ or benevolent – and so rather learn how not to react to discovering self-honesty as in seeing what might be in fact a ‘real ugly truth’ of ourselves, which I could visualize like realizing one has a detuned guitar, or having a broken engine: we have to understand how we got them detuned/broken and so place our time, effort and knowledge in application to fix it = we do the same with ourselves and our minds/lives and so stop thinking within the ‘good vs. evil’ frame of mind and just consider practical reality.

 

For further reference:

• 406. ‘The Fall’ in Process

    Learn more about supporting yourself as your mind, how to deal with energy, one’s ego and how we can actively change ourselves here:

• Desteni
• Desteni Articles
• Destonians
• Desteni Lite Process
• Desteni I Process
• Agreement/Redefining Relationship Course
• Desteni Forum
• Desteni Wiki
• Desteni Español
• Creation’s Journey to Life
• Heaven’s Journey To Life
• 7 Year Journey To Life Process

409. The Uncomfortable Truth

 

 

 

One of the reasons why this process cannot be done by ‘one individual alone’ is because we are very prone to creating our comfortable bubble where we believe that ‘nothing is happening, I don’t react, everything’s done, my mind is quiet’ and how else would it be if I remained in my own little world and my own little bubble!’ So that is certainly not walking process. Facing yourself as this world is not only facing ourselves in our own minds or as ‘the world system’ but facing each other as the mind we are and have become.

 

So, here I open up my recent reactions to the exposure of my own truth which is the state of the mind that we all have and how whenever someone dares to ‘show it all’ then I react ‘OH man! how dare that person do that!’ or ‘How can that exist within a person’s mind?’  which is all backchat that is in fact immediately dodging MY own responsibility to myself, my mind, my judgments instead of immediately reacting to ‘assess’ another’s mind/words/actions/behavior within me as the character of ‘politeness’ or keeping things in order and control, no different actually to how politics operate and I will open up this point of politeness and how it is in fact of course a façade and self-deception that as anything, can be walked through and rather turned into an expression of consideration, instead of a blanket used to cover up that which I ‘don’t want to see/face’ as myself which is essentially just postponing facing the inevitable which is the truth of who we are and have become as our minds, and so to not judge ourselves as the mind, but rather learn how to support ourselves, how to understand ourselves as the mind, how to self-forgive and so walk/live the corrections which is the real direction for self-change required here.

 

The most important thing within this is to realize that taking one’s mind or another’s mind personally is a reaction, it is of the mind and it is only perpetuating the same problem we have co-created because it is like realizing that one participating in one’s mind is like giving fuel to a fire. So, basic point here is also to realize that we’re all in a process and even if one is aware of the tools and ‘knows’ about the principle of self-responsibility, it doesn’t imply that ‘that person is going to take self responsibility’ or ‘is not reacting at all now.’ We are all walking through it and what’s more important: if I react to another and turn it as a point of having my expectations ‘unfulfilled’ it means that there’s a point of expectation that I haven’t really sorted out and a point of reaction toward words/actions that exist in one’s mind behind such ‘disappointment,’ and that because this mind exists within me and everyone, then it is my responsibility to actually take responsibility for it – No more and no less, no matter ‘who’ I believe is triggering an experience within me, I have to be able to stand absolute regardless of what is being said/done either personally or indirectly.

 

I realize that my responsibility does not extend only to ‘myself’ but others as well,  and that’s where I tend to simply think that well, I can ignore the person/situation and not make a fuzz about it – but if the person is already walking a process  and they are already working on themselves to stop the mind, then it is absolutely my responsibility to support another within my possibility and ability to do so,  as that is exactly what I would like and want another to do with myself as well, which is actually what I have lived through these past years of being supported as part of a group walking this process of unveiling the ‘uncomfortable truths’ of ourselves as the mind, that which we have kept secret and ‘veiled’ throughout time.

So here is a self-reminder how everything works in reverse in the mind: we have to be cautious when things seem ‘too stable’ or ‘not much happening’ and instead whenever conflict emerges to be grateful for it as it is unveiling an aspect of myself, of ourselves that we haven’t faced as is the case here.  

 

 

“The Human Being, being Sensitive to Discord, Disharmony, Disease – are very easily Motivated to Seek Out the Harmony within themselves as the Equilibrium of Multiple Systems, Interacting within Relationship of a Closed System, as a Balanced Perfection for the Sole Purpose of Keeping the being Engaged at All Times; to Seek the Equilibrium and to Keep the Equilibrium going, and where Mastery will be to become a Master of Love, and Stay within the Geometrical Equilibrium.[…]

This Principle has been Very Cleverly used to Keep the Physical Reality in a Form of Stable Control. With None of the Beings in Multiple Forms Realising How their Existence has been Systemized to be Followers of Reaction and Instinct. Followers of Pre-Planned Preprogrammed Designs, with Rewards along the Way when Equilibrium Spots are Hit within the Map of the Book of Life.” – Bernard Poolman

 

 

 

This is the realization that everything that I judge in another exists within me.

 

 

Continuing from:

• 408. Taking it All Back to Self-Responsibility

 

Self Responsibility and taking it All back to self at the individual level.

Based on the usual judgments I have created upon people that I perceive have something ‘wrong’ in them to, for example, be what I have defined as deliberately ‘evil’ or deliberately ‘deceptive’ or deliberately ‘conflictive’ and perceiving myself that ‘I could not stand such individual’ is demonstrating to me one thing only: where and how I have not yet considered such individual as myself.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from another within the consideration that if the person is too mind possessed, too conflictive, then I don’t want to have anything to do with the person, which is essentially playing what I had criticized in our society wherein those that were mentally challenging to society and deemed as ‘crazy’ or ‘too out of the loop’ so to speak, were exiled and sent out of the main centers of society, as they actually posed a threat to the order, the ‘system’ in itself which I also conceived as a reason to simply not have to ‘deal with’/walk with and actually learn how to assist and support ourselves as individuals that can be mentally challenging when it comes to how we operate in our minds.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become my own denial as in wanting to not face or excuse myself from having to confront/face a part of me as another individual that exists in fact in each one of us that have a mind, wherein when seeing patterns in another that I believe myself ‘incapable’ of doing or not being able to ‘fathom’ them, I go into a helplessness situation toward that point/person/mind that I am in fact then still reacting to within the belief that ‘ I cannot conceive how that can exist in another/ why they say/do things in such ways’ without realizing that who we all are and have become in our minds is essentially the description of being mind controlled, being schizophrenic as in being separated from each other, from our physical body and have become nothing else but ‘agents’ to consciousness, to the mind which we here understand that it has never existed within the principle and consideration of what is best for all because the starting point and origin of our mind was never meant to support our self-realization of being in fact equals and one in this reality and so

When and as I see myself creating a denial/existing in denial based on how I react to another’s mind based on backchat, beliefs, perceptions, assumptions and expectations of ‘how another should act/be by now’ I stop and I breathe. I realize that here I am going into the assumption that people have had to ‘change’ already according to time and process application, without realizing that me reacting to another’s mind possession or patterns is in fact indicating my own patterns, my own reactions that I still have to deal with/walk through which is the whole point here. I realize that it is not about ‘the other person’ as it is all about myself, my own reactions to words/patterns/behaviors that exist within each one of us as mind consciousness systems that even if we know ‘how to support ourselves’ with self-supportive tools, I am here being the proof that going into denial, helplessness, disbelief, disappointment about others is really only about myself that am still reacting to people’s minds, processes and experiences.

 

I commit myself to when facing a person that is in a particular mindset that I have defined as ‘tough’ or ‘challenging’ that I then place myself in the position of understanding which is a practical humbleness that I have to practice wherein instead of looking for someone else to ‘take the ball’ I rather read/hear the person’s words and see how can I best assist and support myself to understand the person and so be able to in turn support another within  placing myself in another’s shoes so to speak – which practically means living humbleness without expectations of ‘what the person should already know by now’ as we have proven ourselves as human beings that ‘lessons learned’ have come and gone and we have repeated the exact same mistakes, which shows then to what extent I have to remind myself that it isn’t as ‘easy’ to change or to expect change from others instead of first working with myself to ensure that I am in fact that point of change and the becomes the living example of how it is possible to walk with and support another as myself, regardless of ‘who’ that another is, ‘what’ they say or how they present themselves as I then recognize and realize at all times that ‘that another person is myself too.’ And this is the essential aspect of facing our equality: nothing of what exists in another is really ‘separate’ from myself, and so

I commit myself to live by the principle of really stopping any expectation upon another, any idea of ‘how another should be/act like/live by now’ within ideas, beliefs or perceptions of who I believe another to be – and instead focus on myself, on actually ensuring that I am not immediately diverting my attention to ‘another’ but to first and foremost focus on myself as it would be kind of pointless to try and ‘support another’ if I am reacting even in the most subtle ways.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to see my reaction as ‘disappointment’ but I realize that this would be like wearing a ‘good doer’ suit wherein it is  perceived as  more ‘benevolent’ to believe I experience disappointment upon myself and others upon who I created expectations about ‘who they are’ but  instead I recognize the ‘disappointment’ as the façade to create a form of victimization, because it’s seen with a ‘better light’ at the eyes of others, but in fact it was just an experience of giving  up, not knowing what to do/how to solve situations and problems wherein I then go into the experience of ‘I do not know what to do/what else to say’ and in doing so, rendering the situation, the person simply ‘gone’ and ‘obsolete’ – which is no different, once again to how we treat mentally ill people in our society, wherein because don’t take the time to walk with them, we simply locked them out, treat them as schizophrenics, paranoids with dissociative personalities and never have in fact taken the time to investigate what they represent as a part of ourselves, as the mind and so to not judge the person as the actual physical living flesh they are, but to simply learn to observe, to recognize the mind for what it is, and so be able to develop ways to assist and support oneself and others to best be able to walk through our mind and to always stick to principle instead of allowing personal vendettas or personal experiences and points taken personal from deviating ourselves from this process wherein for the first time we are doing what has never been done and what we as human beings don’t like doing which is: seeing ourselves as the mind, introspecting, self-investigating, which this includes not only ‘myself’ but also learning how to walk with others, their minds and configurations, to understand how and why they ‘came to be’ who they are as the mind and so never miss the point of realizing that no matter ‘how bad’ or how ‘evil’ I may perceive another, I am only judging another’s mind with my own mind which means that this is a point that obviously exists within me and here to self-forgive.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having harbored throughout many years the idea that because we are in this process, we simply do not ‘intend’ any ‘evil’ against one another, and so in this creating the assumption that because we understand principles, then it’s done, there’s no more frictions or conflicts, backchats beliefs toward one another, but this is simply not so. I’ve realized how much work it actually takes to really integrate this point of self-change and my point here to take self responsibility for is the experience of just projecting my own giving up to another as in ‘not knowing what else to do’ and seeing another as a ‘lost case’ instead of actually realizing that this mind /this person/this situation is actually a gift wherein I am demonstrating and mirroring back to myself where it is that I still have to work with within myself, within my mind, within my expectations and stopping them, within the memories that get activated within me whenever I have been throughout my life subject to any form of another’s mind projection as I see and realize that in the past I accepted and allowed this to affect ‘me’ because I then had no context or understanding of who we are as the mind and therefore

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create the thought pattern of ‘humanity is evil’ when I was in elementary school and I was subject to bullying for being the ‘star of the class’ and have kids stop talking to me or telling me how they were going to ‘defeat me’ and ‘bring me down’ and ‘win over me’ wherein I created an extensive amount of stress, apprehension and general I could say depression at age 7-8 wherein I could not fathom why these kids that were supposed to be my friends, my classmates were ‘getting at me.’ In this, I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to go into the experience of ‘I rather just not be ‘as good as I’ve been’ so that ‘they’ can have the spot they want and ‘I’ stop being the problem for them’ – without realizing that in this I would have given up on myself and making their words a ‘reality’ as a point for me to make decisions based on what others think/believe/say about myself or toward ‘me.’ So I realized by support of my mother that that was not the way and that I simply didn’t have to ‘listen to others’ but still, this ‘spine’ that emerged from these situations and later on becoming more aware of how we operate toward another as human beings in this world, made me feel powerless toward ‘the evil’ in this world and the actual nastiness and secrecy and deliberate hate that exists between human beings, which is how I then created the experience of being ‘too sensitive’ to these things which is why I then became a ‘hard ass’ so to speak so as to be able to cope better with all of these experiences that I went through while growing up and ‘taking the heat’ of things, while seeing myself in a constant ‘battle’ so to speak, which is why I also developed this mentality of having to be on a ‘defense mode’ most of the times toward those that I perceive are ‘out to get me.’

I realize that this is the modus vivendi that we all have, and that I’m no different to any other individual and I bet we have all created and built up our ‘walls’ of defense so that no one can really ‘get us’ or get to see the actual vulnerability that we all have as human beings, because this is understood as an opportunity to abuse a form of trust, of intimacy and understanding – so I see that because I’ve done this myself, I’ve been there myself, I can then understand why in the mind we tend to automate defense-mode and ‘attack-modes’ toward one another in the belief that ‘we have to defend ourselves.’

The  only thing that requires to be ‘defended’ is who we are as ego, because Life is simply recognized and supported.  

 

 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have re-enacted, re-experienced within myself the same experiences of shock, sadness, disbelief and mostly  helplessness toward others such as the memory when I saw my ‘friends’ in school talking to each other’s ears during lunchtime and looking at myself and when I tried to join them, they simply ignored me, which is when I decided that I would have to learn how to be alone – and in this, allowing this secrecy and these backchats and ‘conspiracies’ about me to get everyone in the group to ‘dislike me’ to define ‘who I would be’ toward everyone else which is how I then started developing a constant state of distrust, having very few people as ‘friends’ and generally toward human beings creating this general idea that ‘everyone is evil’ so I could not like or trust people easily, which in a way it was cool as I was seeing the nature of who we are as the mind – but the problem is that I took it personally and I believed that ‘the world was out to ‘get me down’’ and that people wanted ‘my position’ in school/in my life or that ‘wanted’ my life, which lead me to essentially have virtually no friends, specially no ‘female’ friends as I considered that it was easier to ‘get at me’ or get to ‘steal’ the people I liked or my friends – lol which my fear became somewhat true at some point – but I see that this is all just what I have created in my mind, as my memories that I’ve loaded based on that initial disbelief, sadness, helplessness toward others’ words and having taken them personally, and so as a ‘result’ simply managing to become a ‘tougher’ person which was nothing else but the expression I had to ‘pull out’ in order to defend myself and have ‘no one to fuck with me’ which of course is not the solution, as this ‘stance’ of self-defense or being in constant ‘vigilant’ mode also leads us to perpetuate the state of wars within and wars without.

 

So in this I realize that If I am in fact here to embody stability and harmony as myself and toward others, I have to first ensure that I am not conditioning my behavior based on ‘how others act’ and so ‘act as a response To Them’ as this would be then Re-acting, responding, replying, reminding myself ‘who I should be’ toward another based on memories, emotions, beliefs, expectations, assumptions  – all of which is of the mind and all of which I cannot trust when being here with another, reading/hearing/sharing words with another and so in this

I commit myself to ensure that whenever I read something that is directed towards ‘me’ and I perceive it as a form of attack or slander, I stop and I breathe. And I ensure that I am stable and that I am not rehashing my past memories and experiences of ‘not knowing how to deal with this attack’ as in primary school – but instead immediately ground myself within the realization that these words are coming from another mind as part of the mind that I am also existing as, and as such, reacting in any way with fears, judgments, emotions and beliefs is nothing else but perpetuating the problem = not taking self-responsibility for myself, therefore I direct myself then to take into consideration how can I best support that individual and do so the same way I would like it to be done to myself, and actually seeing or ‘reminding’ myself that that person is a part of me that I am here to support as I have vowed to do so for myself in this process.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the façade that ‘everything should be fine’ because ‘there is no conflict’ and as such maintain this belief or experience of ‘everything is cool’ or ‘workable’ and whenever  a point of conflict emerges in my world and reality,  then I go into a form of ‘blame’ toward the person/point that emerged as ‘conflict’ for ‘disrupting the workable/agreeable situation’ which is in fact only pointing to myself where it is that I want to maintain a form of control over how I believe the situation should be, and how even if I have tried to ‘embrace conflict’ there was an expectation of such conflict being ‘solved’ already and so when the point repeats/reactivates I go into a helplessness state as in the belief of ‘this point/person/mind should have gotten it by now’ and so in this actually using  this backchat as an excuse to not FIRST of all look at why have I created such expectations upon ‘others’ instead of first pin pointing the reaction, the experience that leads me to create such backchat in the first place? Why have I accepted and allowed myself to dismiss this subtle reaction within ME and immediately shift it toward ‘another’ which implies a form of righteousness as well: I am right and the other is the one causing the conflict, which is in fact dodging /abdicating my own responsibility first and foremost. 

 

When and as I see myself having the backchat/assumption of ‘This person should have gotten it by now’ I stop and I breathe as I realize that in this I am immediately dodging my own reaction, my own expectations, my own beliefs upon that person/situation and the belief of ‘point being corrected/point is aligned/point will no longer repeat the pattern’ as I realize that in the mind everything that we have become throughout time is nothing else but a broken record where we repeat our same experiences from our very early memories in our lifetime, which I have seen and exposed for myself as well. Therefore I then commit myself to understand the person/situation, rather see what point is emerging now, what point is repeating, why and how can I best assist and support myself first to practice blaming or seeing ‘others’ as the problem, as I realize that obviously no matter how ‘subtle’ these reactions emerge within me, such words when directed as an expectation ‘toward another’ is indicating me that I first have to look within myself and see where I haven’t yet changed/aligned and corrected the point of reaction within myself, which is the whole point here of absolute self-responsibility and taking it all back to self.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the denial of my own secret mind when judging secrecy based on others’ words/actions, without realizing that in this I am once again dodging the realization that everything that goes on in my mind is still somewhat ‘secret’ as in there being no other being but myself in my mind and so by judging/denying/pointing fingers at ‘secrecy’ I am in essence missing out the point that has actually enabled us all to become ‘fearful’ to things like mass surveillance and so forth, which is how we want to ‘keep things secret’ as in hidden agendas where one can still allow backchat and imaginations/fantasies for ‘good’ or ‘bad’ about others which is a form of abuse as I realize that I would certainly not want myself to be subject to or an object of someone else’s mind – so for this, it is to first of all understand that ‘who we are as the mind’ has been the epitome of secrecy, the secret mind as that aspect of ourselves that we have veiled from everyone else, wherein we usually paint a good picture of us while hiding the ‘actual truth’ of ourselves. And so the title of this is ‘the uncomfortable truth’ which is where we believe that we are ‘right’ in our minds, that we are the ones doing the proper assessments, without realizing that when we are in any way judging/blaming/dismissing or denying another as oneself, one is definitely becoming the source and origin of the problem itself, as in the mind nothing can be trusted, in the mind as an immediate and almost ‘quantum’ experience that comes into our physical bodies and permeates our ‘reasoning’ from which we create an immediate response/reaction toward another, is not to be trusted, it is to be actually Stopped, breathed through in order to then assess what is it that’s coming up within me, why am I having this experience in my physical body, and so not attempt to ‘reply’ or ‘react’ to another as a way to ‘prove wrong’ or ‘prove right’ but instead focus on how I can respond in a way wherein I am taking self-responsibility which means that

 

I commit myself to respond to another based on the consideration of themselves as myself, and so first ensuring that I am fully stable, not participating in any experience – and if I was, then I Refrain/stop myself from reacting in the moment – so that I can take the time to assess how it is best to assist and support another, instead of wanting to ‘teach a lesson’ or ‘remind’ another of something that I believe ‘should have been ‘gotten’ by now’ – which is another form of righteousness or superiority when it comes to ‘proving another wrong’ or proving that ‘the point has not changed’ as an excuse to ‘dismiss’ another, which would be like wanting to cut my own arm just because it doesn’t have the strength that I expected it to have, even if I haven’t actually done the necessary work/training to develop such muscle and ensure that I have done all that is required to, for example, have my arm have a particular strength to a particular task or ability in my physical body.

 

I realize that everything that we’ve done throughout our lives in this reality is to dismiss, deny, negate, discriminate, exile, marginalize everything and everyone that doesn’t comply or doesn’t ‘fall’ into the creation of a normalcy which can be of course quite deceptive if not all cards are on the table, which means if oneself hasn’t actually taken absolute responsibility for what one is doing/experiencing/believing and perceiving about others and or the reasons why I would want to not want to see/not want to face/exile or marginalize another within the belief that ‘there is no cure, there is no solution’ which all that comes to mind when writing these words is the image of doctors in mental institutions that keep patients sedated and fully controlled just because we’ve given up on understanding how they got to such mental condition – or with ‘criminals’ that are sentenced to death which is our easy way out in society to deal with our own consequences, to not have to ‘face the dangerous person’ but, really being foolish to not investigate HOW and WHY we have created such mental problems, such so-called ‘criminals’ and why even our definitions of mental illnesses and criminals have been so diminished in our ‘mind framework’ dismissing all of us really that still exist in our minds and that still participate in a world-system where we commit crimes against life as a collective by allowing the starvation and the marginalization of those that we have rendered ‘helpless’ and ‘poor’ and ‘eccentric’ and ‘mentally ill’ and so forth, which are all tags that we create to justify our inability to work with them/walk with them in order to get to point of stability – which, of course, won’t be an easy thing to do, but it is what I would like others to do toward myself if I was in such position/role of being the marginalized, the ‘ousted’ one or the rejected one, as I’ve certainly to some degree have faced such point myself so, I realize that that is what I want for myself and so I have to give it to others that are willing of course to support themselves back, as that’s the essential principle I commit myself to walk here: to support others the way that I would like to be supported myself.

 

I commit myself to stop all assumptions, all projections of ideas/beliefs and perceptions I have toward ‘others’ and ‘who they are’ or ‘Should be’ in my mind, and instead commit to live in the moment where words are assessed in the moment instead of carrying ‘past history’ of a person within myself as a recollection of ‘experiences’ toward ‘them’ to then decide ‘who I am toward the person’ as this is my own conditioning my own ‘program’ that I have to ensure is not interfering with my ability to support another as myself which begins by ensuring I am not tainting another’s words based on the past or ‘who I believe the person to be’ but rather work each time, anew, from the words  in the moment, no past, not future, just here.

 

 

I commit myself to live the word humbleness in practicality within the consideration of others as myself which implies placing myself in the shoes of another, understand ‘where they’re coming from’ ensuring I’m not taking their words/actions/thoughts personally, but that I am able to instead if I see myself able to understand the words, I can most certainly challenge and will myself to support another that I see is willing to support themselves too, as this is how I see that through supporting each other it is easier to face the points and patterns that still exist within ourselves, so this is to not see another through eyes of ‘how changed he/she should be by now’ but to simply work with what is here, no preconceptions, no expectations, no denials, no running away or dodging the point but facing it fully here as it is part of my reality, and that then is of course my responsibility to face as well.

 

I commit myself to live the word gentleness which is a very necessary aspect when it comes to my words and to ensure that I am not in any way creating a defense mode toward another or to prove ‘righteousness’ or want to ‘control’ a situation through any amount of force, as I realize that this is what I have judged from any form of ‘authority’ that I have experienced such form of ‘control’ form, which is nothing else but actual fear that attempts to keep things ‘stable’ instead of facing them and directing them as self – so I realize that in order to live Gentleness  I have to let go of any speck of fear that creates the ‘defense mode’ and so align my words to embody that gentleness, consideration and humbleness to understand another, to support another as I would like to be supported myself and so be willing to embrace all parts of what is here in this world as myself and as points that I require to face if I am in fact to ‘train’ myself to educate myself to support any other person in this world that wants to support themselves back.

 

Further reading:

254. Beautiful Enslavement and Control

 

 

Suggested places to understand more about how to embrace and support the nature of who we have become as our mind:

 

Demonology | Revealing the world of demons – Desteni

 

The History of Desteni and Demons – Part One – YouTube

 

 

 

 

 

To learn more about how to support yourself and another, share, walk with us and become part of the necessary liberation from fighting against each other and instead, become life:

 

• Desteni
• Desteni Articles
• Destonians
• Desteni Lite Process
• Desteni I Process
• Agreement/Redefining Relationship Course
• Desteni Forum
• Desteni Wiki
• Desteni Español
• Creation’s Journey to Life
• Heaven’s Journey To Life
• 7 Year Journey To Life Process

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

403. How to Stop Living in Defense Mode

I have previously discussed how it is that we condition ourselves to create/put on a hard veneer in order to – let me be frank – not be fucked with/bullied/attacked by others and how this becomes like a second skin growth to actually make up for an initial experience of being vulnerable or having felt attacked by others words/actions. Here we can see how we condition each other to be constantly expecting the worst from one another, and so becoming the ‘fighters’ in the battlefield that we’ve created of our lives.

There are various reasons for this, one can be survival which is the way we have conditioned ourselves, our human nature to be guarding our own interest out of fear of others taking it away or abusing each other to get the most with the least effort etc. Another one is more related to that ‘attack’ that exists as a violent action toward one another, verbally/psychologically speaking while at the same time having the possibility to escalate to become physical as well. This is how I could see that we begin ‘corrupting’ ourselves0 when taking each others words personally, as a ‘personal attack’ and so create it in the form of bullying or ‘trollism’ as it exists now.

Here I’ll focus on a rather simply form in which I’ve noticed my own ‘defense-mode’ and what are the reasons for it. I’ve been actively participating in answering/interacting on YouTube and forums wherein I have had one of the most vivid evidences of how we can attack each other just for the sake of winning a ‘battle’ in our minds, just for the sake of ‘being right’ and making one another look like ‘an ass’ because ‘they are wrong’ and so in essence co-creating  just another virtual battlefield to breed human hatred or perpetuate the ‘Divide and Conquer’ mind frames which I initially would react to in an emotional way upon reading such denigrating, defaming,, spiteful, violent and even life threatening comments we would get on a daily basis as a result of what we publish, which is all about life in equality, living rights, what is best for everyone, etc.

So, looking back,  this is what I see as a cool ‘training ground’ when it comes to facing the REAL human nature and not only see the one I had believed in  – such as the good nature one – while being locked in my ‘home bubble’ and my limited environment with limited interactions, where I yes certainly did face bullying and backstabbing from ‘friends’ at an early age, prompting me into quite a ‘depression ‘ at the age of 7, 8 because of not being able to fathom such ‘harm’ imposed toward me from another at first, until I had the support from my mother to realize I did not have to take others words/actions personally – which was great support and led me to become rather independent from sheeple mentality while going through school. I did, however, become somewhat defensive in my personality, I could say that yes I had clear principles but a lot of it was also from the starting point of showing ‘others’ that ‘you can’t mess around with me,’ it worked to a certain extent – but what happens when that ‘veneer’ becomes ‘who you are’ and how one dictates one’s every interaction?

 

I see that the defense-mode that I am able to act out upon in one moment actually stems from acting once again based on past experiences/memories where I still place myself in such ‘defense mode’ meaning being ready to be ‘attacked’ from the moment that I, for example,  read a YouTube comment and so, instead of unconditionally reading the words that a person is placing, I already see where I can ‘find the point they are missing out on’ or what they are ‘defending’ or where they are trying to ‘prove me wrong, so that I can ‘point it out back’ and so this is something that I became used to do back in the day where we were certainly first becoming more aware of what each person implied in their words, which has been supportive nonetheless. But I see that I require to now and from here on step down from continuing that mechanism/way; this actually happened to me yesterday where I did thankfully get feedback from the person that I replied to on YouTube saying: “Marlen? I commented because you right on the money!  Thank You!”  The first word as my name with a question mark implying that they probably didn’t understand why I had replied in such a ‘harsh’ manner. And so I realized that I had come through toward him in the same old ‘attack-mode’ and ‘defense-mode’ instead of just seeing where the person is coming with the comment, what I can agree on as that’s our common ground and then expanding a bit on it without having the starting point of ‘proving him wrong’ or judging his very reply for not considering all points that I see but simply focusing on what I can do to assist and support to expand on the points brought up and create a conversation from there.

Assist and support here are the key points, not to ‘defend my point’ or ‘defend my cause’ because that’s what creates the battlefield on YouTube, but rather keeping it simple when answering back and inviting the person to continue the dialogue instead of wanting ‘them’ to ‘change’ all of a sudden toward Me and what I have to say, as that would be me as ego wanting validation/acceptance from others right away. The same point applies when I have deemed others as being ‘defensive’ toward me and so judging others as ‘being on defense mode’/being on attack-mode but it is really only me projecting my perception upon them because I’ve ‘been there/done that too.

 

So the key here is to then when and as I see myself reading comments, reading/hearing another’s words, I assist and support myself to not go into the predisposition of fighting/ attacking another based on the belief/assumption that ‘they are here to attack me first’ and so, instead allow me to read the comment/words unconditionally, without expectations or already ‘sharpening my knife’ to ‘get back at them,’ as I see that within this starting point I perpetuate the conflict and not allow myself to be really HERE with/as the words written/spoken and so be able to interact/reply back within the consideration of what I can learn from what the person is explaining, what I can learn from them, where I see that I agree upon to also reply back and letting the person know I also see that/agree with it.

This implies: Seeing where there is a point where I can share from my own realizations, self investigations and not only from knowledge and information, all of this within the consideration of placing myself in another’s shoes, taking into consideration the words in one YouTube comment, one email, one conversation and ‘walking with’ to expand on a point of cognitive dissonance, misinformation, belief, or an emotional reaction to the points explained, so that I can also point it out in a considerate non-defensive, non-attacking, non-aggressive manner which means explaining to another a point the same way I would want another to explain it to me: with patience, with humbleness and gentleness so as to be able to let the other person know that I do stand as these principles I talk about at all times, this is who I am and this is the consideration, care, gentleness and humbleness toward others that I commit myself to live by when interacting with them, so as to not come through as ‘me having the truth’ or ‘me having to be always right’ but being also willing to see my faults, my mistakes, where I reacted to another’s words and so take responsibility for such reactions myself.

 

So to not go into ‘denial’ of my actions, which is what the vlog was about in fact wherein I received such comment, here I stand directive of such point which opened up yesterday and so I am directing it here, as I see that if I want to create a world of transparency, integrity and trust, I have to be doing just that myself, seeing, realizing, understanding my mistakes, my reactions, investigate where they ‘come from,’ understand them, self forgive them and most importantly, give myself a new direction as to how I am going to be living these corrections from now on whenever I interact with another.

 

 

Self Forgiveness and Self Correction

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a predisposition of ‘having to defend myself’ when replying to YouTube Comments or replying to others’ words whether written or in a conversation, instead of realizing how I perpetuate my own memories of the past and even from my childhood of how I had to be ‘wary’ of people’s words and actions toward me, which is why I became ‘edgy’ as well, not being able to trust others and as I’ve explained before, this is not about ‘trusting others’ but rather trusting me in being able to read/hear words in stability and be able to support myself unconditionally to interact, reply back within the consideration of what is self-supportive both for ‘them’ and ‘myself’ as two or more individuals establishing a communication and settling the way to create a point of communal understanding – not fighting or ‘proving each other right/wrong’

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize how I am in fact perpetuating the current status quo in our relationships where we have focused so much on the winner/loser mentality, the ‘attacker’ and the ‘attacked,’ the bully and the bullied and where we believe that we constantly have to be ‘defending’ ourselves which can only exist if we are ‘coming from’ a starting point of ego as in seeing others as enemies, as ‘the problem,’ as ‘the ignorant ones and oneself being the ‘right one,’ through which we approach another from the vantage point of seeing another as inferior to myself and so believing that I have to ‘educate them’ with ‘what I know’ instead of being actually grateful that there are people that are still willing to reply in a comment to a YouTube video and so be able to hear/get to know what others’ perspectives on a subject and learn from it, see where we still have to ‘align’ our understanding, what are the main points where there is still a point tampering self-realization,  as well as being willing to correct ourselves if necessary and in the possible measure, being able to support and assist another to expand themselves a bit more – maybe point out some aspects they can do further investigation on, other blogs or vlogs to watch/read and so not immediately ‘showing the way out’ when the entire starting point of commenting by the other individual is to precisely establish communication and be able to continue it in the best possible way.

I realize that in our world nothing will be changing if we do not first focus on being able to get to hear /read one another, see where there is a common ground and build it from there, thus no longer existing in the ‘I’ll prove you wrong’ mentality.

 

I also realize that I have to be aware of not seeing myself as ‘the victim’ that is going to be ‘abused/attacked by others’ as in this position of victimization I then justify my ‘getting back at’ others as in ‘having to defend myself’ which is why in this world we, for example, allow the use and existence of guns, because we give into this mentality that ‘I have to protect myself, I have to be armed’ without first investigating why and what causes this abuse in the first place.

 

I realize that I have to stop projecting my past, and my ‘mind-frame’ that I had built around ‘commenting on YouTube’ as in ‘getting myself  into a battlefield’ and instead, read the comments from the starting point of being able to support myself, to learn from another, to see where I can improve my communication, identify and recognize where I wasn’t clear/what I missed and so expand through this communication instead of already wanting to ‘end’ the interaction by placing a comment that could be seen as ‘sparking up reactions’ which previously I had defined as supportive for the person to ‘face themselves’ but, we are in a different stage in our process so I now apply the point of being gentle and supportive with others, the same way that I would like a ‘stranger’ on YouTube to reply to my messages and comments as well, doing to another what I would like to be done unto in the same situation and in all cases for that matter.

 

I commit myself to use the opportunity of interacting with others either through comments on a website, on a forum, on every day conversations/interactions so that I can expand and support myself while at the same time assisting and supporting another, because it is in these seemingly ‘irrelevant’ or ‘small moments’ that actual windows of opportunity exist to ‘connect’ to others and let them also realize that there are solutions, there are people that do not fall into the usual patterns of the divide and conquer mentality, and so this is what I commit myself to living in all aspects of my everyday living and interactions with people from around the globe through the marvelous platform that the Internet is.

 

I commit myself to redirect my judgments upon others being ‘in a defense mode’ and instead be able to in such moments immediately take the point back to self and direct myself toward another in a way wherein I can apply consideration, humbleness, gentleness to place myself in their shoes so that I am able to best support them and expanding ourselves through using words or even behavior, voice tonality that indicates in stability that I am here, I hear you, I understand you, let’s clarify this/let’s expand on this/ have you considered this point about this that you mentioned here? so that it is and becomes a more ‘inviting’ way to continue interacting with another.

 

I commit myself to walk through my own ‘predisposition’ of being in this ‘defense-mode’ so that I can stand here, clear, open, available and willing to communicate and direct another’s questions and sometimes even curiosity and not fall into the ‘attacking-mode’ but to genuinely be able to consider their starting point and so walk-with, instead of walking-against others.

 

I commit my self to live the realization that ‘the enemy’ is really myself and my own assumption, my own mind, my own projections which means that in practicality I am then going to be open to read/hear words without going into reaction, without already ‘preparing’ my artillery to shoot with a barrage of points that have nothing to do with what was initially said either, but to also keep it simple and ‘grow’ the conversation from there.

 

I commit myself to only reply to comments/written and spoken interactions when I have given myself a ‘moment of clarity’ which means when I have breathed and ensured that I am in fact stable, here, that I am taking responsibility for my initial reactions or starting point toward another, and so be more open, willing and available for genuine communication, ensuring I have no interference/noise as my own reactions preventing me from hearing/reading another unconditionally.

 

I commit myself to ‘take back to self’ any judgments I may had toward ‘others’ as ‘them being the attackers’ or ‘them being in a defense-mode’ as in fact, that would mean me reacting in ego towards ego – lol – so the best way to interact with another is to work with the common sense of looking at words themselves, no assumptions, rather asking what they in fact mean if the point is not clear, but generally not jumping into assumptions, not taking my own knowledge, my own ego into consideration when interacting with others, as that’s where the shifts happen and the divide and conquer mentality is re-created, wherein I perceive that another is ‘not the same as myself’ and so I have to ‘prove them wrong’ according to me, which is where the problem exists.

So I instead commit myself to focus on directing the words, the comments, the situation for what it is, devoid of past grudges, preconditioning, preprogramming of ‘how I deal with others that I perceive are attacking me’ as I then live the realization that the ‘attack’ only exists in my mind as memories and experiences that I create when I take another’s words personally or as ‘going against me’ which is the ego-starting point of reading/hearing another, when we ‘take it personally’ instead of realizing that each one’s words relate to oneself only, and so I take self-responsibility.

 

I commit myself to in fact become a pillar of support for myself and others which means I cannot judge, I cannot avoid another or see them as ‘less than myself’ or as ‘ignorant’ but instead assist and support myself and others to transcend such limitations of the mind to work with what we have as our statements, see what we can agree upon and expand it from there, as Self Support.

 

So instead I am grateful that this point opened up so I could see what I was doing in this interaction and so be able to give it direction here for once and for all – so, thanks Tyler.

 

7.      Living the Principle of Self Awareness – to be aware, to see, to recognize my own thoughts and Mind, to be self honest to the extent where I can take responsibility for when I see my thoughts / Mind is not what is best for me / others and commit to immediately take responsibility and change for myself and so for others The Desteni of Living – My Declaration of Principle

 

 

To learn more about taking responsibility for one’s mind, one’s reactions, please visit the following sites and join us in our endeavor too:

• Desteni
• Desteni Articles
• Destonians
• Desteni Lite Process
• Desteni I Process
• Agreement/Redefining Relationship Course
• Desteni Forum
• Desteni Wiki
• Desteni Español
• Creation’s Journey to Life
• Heaven’s Journey To Life
• 7 Year Journey To Life Process

401. How to Live a ‘Change in Consciousness’?

You’ve probably heard how there is a ‘change in consciousness’ required in order to start ‘waking up’ to the reality and so be able to begin changing ourselves and our reality. The problem is when we only believe that changing consciousness means just changing ‘how we think’ and so how we conceive reality, getting to know how it functions and so no longer be fooled by everything we have up to now taken as ‘how things are and have always been’ without questioning this order any further.

The point here that is missing is the very meaning of what consciousness implies, which is in fact who we are and have become as our mind and our mind is a rather complex system through which we have been living through all this time, where fear is born, where greed exists, where desires, hopes, dreams, ideas, beliefs are existent, it is the very tool with which we are able to interact/function in reality, while also being the ‘filter’ through which we essentially conceive everything and everyone too. So, saying that we require a ‘change in consciousness’ does make sense from the perspective of changing the way that this ‘filter’ works, but unfortunately there aren’t many people around the world that understand how the mind in fact works and operates to make of this change an actual consistent and congruent process that can manifest a change that is substantial and based on the principle of what is best for all as living physical beings interacting with one another.

 

 

Get to know thyself as your mind/consciousness

The importance of Desteni and the Desteni Material resides in this ability to understand our mind at a level that we had not been able to do so before. Through walking it and applying it myself, I have been able to understand that we in fact don’t require to Evolve consciousness any further but instead, how it is that I actually first require to understand How my mind operates, what behavioral patterns  I am existing as, what fears do I have, what desires, beliefs, emotions, feelings, the construction of myself as my personality based on my environmental influence, etc. – in essence is getting to know and understand my nature through the self-investigative process where we focus on getting to know ourselves as our mind and face the actual problem: in our minds we have never in fact lived according to the consideration of what’s best for everyone as Equals as Life – we have always only existed as the self-interested version of our preprogrammed self, constantly seeking to feel good, to seek more power, more importance, more control over others and be ‘at the top’ in every aspect of our lives, to spite back, to take revenge, to ‘take the most’ regardless of who we leave out of the equation, to only care about what makes ME feel good – one way or another where we always see ourselves as the winners, the ones that trump the rest.

This divide and conquer mentality is who we have become as our mind, as consciousness. So a change in consciousness for the purpose of bettering ourselves, our lives and coexistence would imply a change in the way of how I perceive and consider myself as part of the whole and how my words, my actions and thoughts affect everything and everyone as well – this can be done through the practical self-questioning of who am I toward others? what purpose am I living by in this life? how do I perceive my responsibility toward this world system, toward each other? Do I hold any personal quarries toward others? Do I believe myself to be better or inferior than others? Do I see others as less capable or more capable than me? Do I feel disempowered? Where do I see myself unfit, incapable of or having any form of limitation to be and become my utmost potential?

 

Our mind is a construct, it is invisible to any physician’s eyes and as such that is the ‘veil’ we can’t see and where the actual Prison exists: it is and exists as Consciousness, our ‘software’ that doesn’t have a specific hardware but is and exists in our entire physical body at an interdimensional level – which means, it’s not visible to our naked eye. However, wanting to now ‘unplug’ ourselves from Consciousness as if this was the Matrix is rather impossible to do. See, we Cannot separate ourselves from who we are and have become as our own nature, our own enslavement because We ALL have created, accepted and allowed it – it’s who we are now in fact. It should be obvious by now why nothing that we have ever attempted to do in terms of ‘changing the world’ with revolutions or placing some people in prisons or thinking positively or ‘wanting to do good’ has ever worked, because we have always functioned in the polarized systematic paradigms where we seek to ‘do the opposite’ to the problem we identify at first, not realizing we simply create an apparent ‘solution’ without taking into consideration the origin thereof.

 

 

Who or what is the origin of the problem?

The origin of this entire mess is ourselves. Even if there was a ‘creator’ – lol – that ‘creator’/god or self proclaimed ‘superior’ being is one and equal to ourselves, meaning: it always, always has been ourselves only and so this is a vital first point to grasp and so to stop projecting BLAME upon others and pointing fingers at them as the culprits of how ‘the world system operates’ or the reason why ‘we are slaves’ or else.

A Change of Consciousness would in fact presuppose an initial self-investigation process to understand WHO and What have I become as consciousness? From my own investigations and what is self-evident in this world as the reflection of who am I as consciousness and who we are as consciousness is nothing else but EVIL as the reverse of Life. Just observe your thoughts, your internal conversations, what keeps  you occupied, what you’re addicted to,  your desires, your fears – all self interest based and even the reactions to acknowledge this – meaning reacting to our own consciousness – is Still self-interest, it is reacting to our own mess, our own spawn and creation.

 

I’ve found that one of the most difficult things to digest within this consideration of being in fact ‘One and Equal’ is the realization that there are really no ‘good’ or ‘bad’ sides, we are just recreating the same paradigm and equation where we balance this reality out in a mathematical equation based on how energy-systems operate within ourselves as our mind, and so how we have externalized such energy-systems as our world system.

Therefore, the realization is that the ‘evil’ structures, the ‘evil people,’ the ‘evil doers’ are in fact nothing else but the sheer reflection of ourselves as consciousness, of each one’s mind and as such I won’t ever get tired of saying this: we are all Equally Responsible and have to be Accountable for EVERYTHING that exists in this world as ourselves and our creation. Unless we are able to self forgive each word, each part of our reality and world system that exists in our own mind and equalize this playing field as in becoming aware of this shared responsibility and stop fearing to acknowledge our current ‘Evil’ Nature, we will continue to enslave each other with the same reactions toward ‘others’ as culprits – whether it is government, politicians, your neighbor, an institution, your own mind, laws, entertainment, education systems – doesn’t matter: we are ALL of it as it is All formed and conceived first of all within our own minds.

Therefore we have to realize that to face our mind is to face the nature of the words we live, think and speak to then in fact genuinely  be able to ‘change our consciousness’ which is becoming the directive principle of who we are as consciousness, and by ‘Directive Principle’ this means: deciding to change the starting point of everything we think, do and say to always consider within our own decisions what is best for ALL, what will do no harm and no abuse to oneself/others.

 

 

Facing the Nature of our Words

It’s been quite a shocking process at times understanding the words we have come to live and to what extent we have existed as self-abuse/abusing each other without realizing that every single bit of blame, accusations, fear of certain words, reacting to each other’s words and personalities enslaves us even further and preventing any sort of realization as long as we keep ourselves well wrought in fear and competing against each other – this is the ‘law’ we have lived as thus far: the divide and conquer mentality. What have we missed? Well realizing that we are Creating this reality based on the nature of the words we think, speak and act upon of course.

Before being able to accept that the actual nature of who we are as consciousness is evil as our ‘human nature’ I had a real problem trying to ‘fathom’ or come to terms with the ‘evil’ that I perceived in separation of myself. I would only get really angry, sad, helpless, hopeless and desperate not knowing what to do – whether seeking a ‘way out of the system’ or to seek an ‘alternative way to make it through’ or seeking to be ignorant about it again – none of these are the solutions as that would be only creating a separated bubble where ‘I’ can ‘feel free’ or feel like ‘I am NOT the one doing the mess! Look! I’m Out of it! It’s only THEM!’ Oh, but I didn’t of course realize there is no way ‘out’ of this system even if I write it in my own words right now and sign my exit with my very name on a piece of paper. There is no ‘system’ that we can create in order to save us either, why? Because just like in the movie the Matrix: the Prison exists within and as our own Mind. Voilà! perfect self-enslavement isn’t it? We can’t just ‘sign out’ of it, we can’t just deny our past in reality and believe that ‘it’s someone else’s fault and someone else has to sort it out’ – We are here to In Fact take responsibility for all the damage we’ve done to ourselves and every living being that is here also as ourselves.

See, we even would have to first begin learning how to integrate the full meaning of what the word SELF implies here. It is not only ‘me’ myself as the individual writing here, it is about SELF as All as One and Equal. This self that I am that is an equal part of it all and I cannot therefore create a bubble of separation where I can only feel ‘at ease’ within the belief of ‘being changed’ because ‘I have changed MY consciousness and as such I am no longer to blame, I am taking responsibility.’ But have we really sat down and considered what this ‘change’ implies in reality? I bet we haven’t.

 

The enslavement we have lived in and as thus far is coded and encrypted in the very words we speak and how we live them. Words are innocent, it is the Nature of how we live those words, how we individually define them and charge them either in a positive or negative manner that creates the ‘nature’ of what we live through such words and as such, the result of doing this is this world and reality where we believe we can communicate with each other, but we in fact can’t as we would most likely would want to – why? because we have all tainted, perverted, contorted words with our own meanings, our own self-interest, our own desires, our own emotions and feelings, our own memories – how can we then expect to have an ‘easy way out’ if we haven’t even yet truly seen, realized and understood what we recreate every time that we speak a word with a personal intention behind it, with self-interest behind it, with fear, with rejection toward others words at the same time? We simply recreate the same separation, especially when it comes to reacting the words that already exist as the epitome of abuse, to how we function in our minds, to realize that we have never in fact truly LIVED and that any word even if we see it as a ‘positive’, it will most likely also require to be aligned to not exist as a positive experience, but as a physical action that anyone can live by without having to be experiencing a particular feeling or ‘mood’ for it to exist.

This process of ‘change’ is actually to stop the evolution of consciousness and so stopping the recreation of further polarities that we believe are meant to ‘do good’ without even understanding and getting to see/realize the root and cause of the ‘problems,’ all the ‘bad’ that seems to be the primordial point of our existence here – hence our continuous effort and even struggle to ‘make things better’ without first focusing on understanding why we have Never simply focused on living in a way that prevents the current mess we live in, what have we missed thus far??

 

Nothing will be better/get better unless we individually walk this process of self-change, self awareness of the thoughts we speak, write, act upon and how we define the world around us through words,  to spot the point of separation, to identify the energy charges we have toward such words, to see how can I take this word, purify it within myself through a written process of Self Forgiveness in Self Honesty be able to live it in a self-supportive manner.

 

Of course there are words that simply represent the absolute reverse of life ,absolute abuse and as such we cannot ‘redefine them’ other than spotting the harm and abuse they imply such as ‘abuse’ itself or ‘rape’ or ‘murder’ – but we certainly CAN take the opportunity to redefine words that we have used for the interest of a few, for the benefit of a few. That is, for example, the word ‘interest.’

 

When I was in elementary school and learning the basics of financing, how the debt system operated and specifically loans provided by banks, I learned that I = C · i · t where Interest equals the initial Capital by the interest rate by the time frame of that ‘loan’ for example. So I pondered, okay but who or what decided what such ‘interest rate’ is? Who made these rules of having to gain money from giving money that is supposed to support people to live? Why do we have to stick to these rules? Why does the time-frame matter? And so I was given a set of answers that entailed – more or less – the fact that ‘The National Bank’ sets up those rules along with governmental regulation and so it becomes a law, a fact, ‘how things are’ and so I kept quiet and accepted it as ‘how the world works.’ This is the point of brainwashing that only later on I realized is the entire scam and the pyramid scheme that all banking systems are founded upon, as well as central banks that issue money out of thin air – well made of actual trees, thank you – and actually Charge money for it, from which their actual fortune comes from.

This is how consciousness as a system operates where we create our own belief systems of hierarchical structures, where we give value to things/people as if they were endowed with ‘more power’ than ourselves, which we then accept as ‘law’ and ‘how things are’ – as if it was inherently dictated as such by the Earth itself, which is of course not so. And so we then accept the enslavement to these ‘formulas’ and knowledge that we don’t question any further other than ‘what it is’ as the ability to gain such interest exists for ‘the benefit’ of you as an investor or for the bank as the lender. Someone’s got to win and someone’s got to lose type of situation that I also accepted as ‘how things operate.’

 

So, when confronting this and only later on getting to understand how money actually works, how the banks have no divine-power to just print money but they simply do so upon our collective faith and belief that ‘such money is legit’ – I also came to realize how it is that we’ve done the same when placing value upon metals like silver or gold and we believe that ‘that is more valuable than any other material because….. well because it’s always been so!’  So one starts opening up Pandora’s box of cognitive dissonance or in simpler words, the mind control or brainwashing that we indoctrinate each other with everywhere in our environment.

So, if we react to a word like ‘Interest’ and seeing it already tainted with this banking scam and so want to eradicate the word from our vocabulary, we are in fact only recreating our own enslavement through not taking responsibility for such word too. Sometimes I get to see hideous acts created in the name of power and control and if I only react in fear, disgust, shame blame, helplessness of what we have created as our very ‘laws,’ and how we have decided to live and coexist, then the question would be:  Is my reaction to such word in fear, awe, disgust, shame or stigmatizing the words and banning them from my reality going to assist me to find out HOW I have to take responsibility for such word? Not at all, I would only be procrastinating why I would eventually have to face anyways.

 

What I’ve seen constantly in the now very well established ‘Alternative Media’ for example, is that there is this belief that those that research and understand how the world-functions are ‘the good guys’ and that those that thrive the most upon lies are ‘the bad guys.’ This is the problem here, and the reason why they as alternative source of information – and very valuable education source, no doubt about that – are also missing themselves out of the equation within the corrections required. Yes, some do point out that it’s about us taking the wheel of our lives, but as long as there is any inkling of antagonism, of blame, of seeking for culprits, of judging ‘others’ as the problem, as the only ones possessed with greed and the only ‘dysfunctional’ or ‘psychopaths’ in our reality, we will remain trapped by our own denial of realizing that THEM/ THEY are also ourselves too.

I have probably said this maaany times but I will continue to say it as long as it’s necessary as this is the key to actually genuinely have a SHIFT in consciousness which is more of a SHIFT in who we are in relation to our own minds and how we perceive reality and others in it through words: We have to start considering that this reality, this world system as is, with all our hideous most horrendous abuses and faults and the very real devastation at a physical level that exists now, the personal ‘breakdowns’ that are more and more common these days upon our absolute failure to live in a supportive manner are nothing else but our collective creation, and as such our collective responsibility.

 

So any change would actually require to identify ourselves as our consciousness first, to understand which words we have come to live, for what purposes and so seeing the consequences we have created when it comes to the ‘living’ or application of such word in separation of ourselves, which means how the word/term/concept has been used for self-abuse instead of life/ living support. This in itself is a process of self-investigation that will lead us to understand the inherent (read preprogrammed) ‘drive’ that we have existed as human beings thus far which is, as I mentioned earlier, nothing else but the very personal-interested drive to be superior, have control/power, have the most, be secured etc. – all survivalism stemming from the primordial fear that emerged when we separated each other from ourselves as life, as one and equal. 

 

To understand this won’t be as easy as just trying to ‘grasp it’ – even though it would be most ideal  to be able to ‘wake up faster,’ but unfortunately to actually implement the solutions in physical reality won’t come as easy within the consideration that we have walked thousands of years within these abusive mind-frames/consciousness to get to this point where it is now impossible to deny the obvious and rather unfortunately awful consequences we have co-created when living through the mind only, through consciousness as the actual enslavement we have all accepted to exist as even before we came to be human beings and signing a contract to be part of this world system, which in fact exists through/as the reflection of the mind through which we perceive ourselves with, and so everything and everyone outside of ourselves. The problem is thus Not the ‘world system’ but who we are in our minds and how we have lived the words.

 

It takes quite some time to first walk one’s own mind, to understand how we function and operate as consciousness to THEN, within a self-stability and self-consistency in and as such change that is lived and directed to apply/live by the words as Living Principles that create/generate what is best for all, then one can start looking at the world system outside of ourselves – not as someone’s ‘evil plot’ as that’s where most people miss the point – but as an actual self created and preprogrammed system that was aimed to exist within such hierarchical structures that we would come to Accept and Allow to exist as ‘how things are/how things always have been’ to have the system work and function for the benefit of those that set it up, who at the end also ended up enslaving themselves too, because they also missed out their equality and oneness with it all. In fact, no one is able to control another, no one is able to be ‘free’ in fact, no one is actually physically able to have ‘have power’ upon another but only through the systems, the words, the actions that we generate in this consciousness system which currently exists as separation, as domination, as control, as power/abuse over others – this is NOT how the physical world in fact operates and these ‘laws’ are not written out in the consideration of what is best for all as the physical. These ‘laws’ are nothing else but consciousness based excuses, reasons, justifications to continue perpetuating the abuse.

 

 

So, where should we begin to look at change then?

I would recommend working on yourself first so that as you go understanding your own mind and getting yourself to a point of stability and realization as to how such ‘evil’ mentality has led you to feel disempowered, to feel at disadvantage, to not get to your fullest potential and so how that is exploited by the organizations/structures/systems that we have created as well to be benefited by our own Abdication of responsibility, wherein  we sign-up for our own enslavement as it means renouncing to the recognition of who we are as equals in this world and reality. To Abdicate Responsibility to it all is to enslave oneself to consciousness, to the mentality of a few being in such ‘special places’ and ‘in charge’ which is the very same reason why we have created the ideas of gods, monarchs, the rich, superiors, governments, politicians or any other figure we see as ‘more’ than ourselves and having ‘more power’ than we do – this is the brainwashing and the mentality we have to in fact align and correct, so that we no longer deny and ignore the actual power we have to change ourselves,which is through taking responsibility for who we are and have become as ourselves and this world system in its entirety.

 

In our example of ‘Interest’ if we look at the meaning of the word ‘Interest’ we have

interest
1    the feeling of wanting to know about something or someone. Ø a quality exciting curiosity or holding the attention: a tale full of interest. Ø a subject which one enjoys doing or studying.
2    money paid for the use of money lent, or for delaying the repayment of a debt.
3    the advantage or benefit of someone. Ø archaic self-interest.
4    a share or involvement in an undertaking. Ø a legal concern, title, or right in property.
5    a group having a common concern, especially in politics or business.

 

Meaning number 2 is what we would want to change in terms of the world system, where interest is no longer a tool for massive speculation where only a few can benefit, to ‘take advantage of others’ which is in how self-interest emerges as well.

But we can also see the other meaning such as number 1, 4 and 5

1    the feeling of wanting to know about something or someone. Øa quality exciting curiosity or holding the attention: a tale full of interest. Øa subject which one enjoys doing or studying.

4    a share or involvement in an undertaking. Øa legal concern, title, or right in property.

 

5    a group having a common concern, especially in politics or business.

 

So we can Live interest within a meaning that can be self-supportive within the consideration of what is best for all, without being all ‘hyped up’ in energy either, but as a physical process.

Here are my takes on how I can Live the word ‘Interest’

Interest as the decision to get involved, cooperate and participate in a point that one sees one has a potential to develop or has a particular skill to develop as well as enjoying oneself within it

SELF-Interest as a redefined term, how I can Live an aligned version of it is the common or shared involvement and benefit within a particular task/endeavor/aspect of our shared reality. Whether it is how we live our lives in communities, how we live as societies, how we feed ourselves, how we educate ourselves, how we entertain ourselves, how we project changes, what requires to be changed, innovate, etc. – all points of interest that lead to a betterment of ourselves and in our societies/groups where we decide to live in.

And so the 1+1 accumulation as an ‘accrued interest’ of living this new conception of interest and self-interest can certainly lead us to accumulate that CARE, that participation, that consistency in getting involved within what is going on in ourselves, our lives, our relationships, our world-systems and the reality that we share and of which we certainly cannot escape or neglect any further.

 

This is how this ‘change of consciousness’ in fact requires observing words, coming to understand what we have created or rather destroyed, abused or harmed with our very own words which we think and act upon – and how it is that most of the times we do not actually observe and come to realize what we in fact do through such words, who we affect, how we affect ourselves and others and what of ourselves are we abusing or neglecting when living the abusive meaning of a word.

So as you and I can see, this is a process where the very ‘change’ exists in the way I/we can redefine words, purify words while at the same time realizing what must be STOPPED, Self-Forgiven, Self Corrected and Aligned so as to stop enslaving each other and the generations to come within the old-paradigm that we are here to understand, deconstruct and stop for once and for all.

 

We can benefit ourselves/each other greatly if we start considering who we really are as consciousness, our equality and oneness as it and so being willing to live through and apply what it will take to actually change our nature through the very consciousness and words that we exist as.

 

Thanks for reading if you got this far.

 

Principled Living: 6.       Realizing that who I am in thought, word and deed affects not only myself – but others as well and so with Self Responsibility in thought, word and deed – I take responsibility for myself and so my relationships to be Self Aware in every moment  and live in such a way that is best for me and so others as well Read more at: https://marlenvargasdelrazo.wordpress.com/the-desteni-of-living-my-declaration-of-principle/

 

 

Essential self-study

 

1. You think you’re Living? – Reptilians – Part 181

2. The Human Mind as a Computer – Reptilians – Part 182

3. The Nature of Words – Reptilians – Part 183

4.  From Mind Words to Living Words – Reptilians – Part 184

5.  Which came First: the Word or the World? – Reptilians – Part 185

6.  How to Live Words (Part 1) – Reptilians – Part 186

7. 
   

   How to Live Words (Part 2) – Reptilians – Part 187

Quantum Mind Self Awareness

 

For further education on what Consciousness is and the Process I mentioned:

• Desteni
• Desteni Articles
• Destonians
• Desteni Lite Process
• Desteni I Process
• Agreement/Redefining Relationship Course
• Desteni Forum
• Desteni Wiki
• Desteni Español
• Creation’s Journey to Life
• Heaven’s Journey To Life
• 7 Year Journey To Life Process

398. The Act of Killing: Humanity’s Self-Reflection

We are all Anwar

No one really likes to recognize one’s own evil. We live in a mass hypnosis state where we have accepted things like poverty and war as ‘norms’ and ‘the way the world works’ without considering a possibility to change. We often blame a particular establishment, government, tyrant, economics, politics, culture and media for the continuation of the atrocities without a change in this world. What we tend to usually forget is that before any secret societies or secret cabals taking control of how the world works, there is and was only ourselves, human beings as the creators of all of the above and everything that we can possibly complain about as the ‘evils of the world.’

 

Fascinatingly enough what we have done is make of our evil something separate of ourselves that we tend to fetishize and fictionalize in, for example, Hollywood movies that glorify wars, mafias, creating the notion of super heroes that can suddenly overcome such evil but then even that idea of the good vs. evil and ‘the good side’ being triumphant is no longer something that is credible in this world. We haven’t really pondered what it takes to create this notion of ‘victory’ and how victory is actually defined by those that win, those that (w)right hi-story, their story to then present an act of killing as something that is glorifying, righteously defending ‘The Act of Killing’ as a justified means to ‘win’ a battle.

We would have to also ask ourselves if we have also come to admire villains for their ‘cunning ways’ to get things done their way. But when it comes to understanding Why we actually harm each other, and How we have come to make of such harm and abuse part of who we are in fact and the ways we justify it is, we don’t go far enough; we often only stick to ‘presenting the show’ which is what sells, what the entire Hollywood industry is founded upon – which is what we do within ourselves too: we see others as the problem, the ‘evil ones’ instead of being willing to look deep inside of ourselves and acknowledge the same problem exists within each one of us too.

Stepping aside from the massive Hollywood propaganda for films that instead of informing or supporting people to see ways in which we have to take responsibility and implement solutions in this world, there is also another type of film that makes us all question everything we have made ‘acceptable’ as a form of enter-tamement/ entertainment such as the voyeuristic ability to watch violence, abuse, harm and murder as part of ‘what happens in the movies’ and eventually, even coming to inspire real life murderers and crimes. Which one came first? One would ask. Yes, it is rather obvious by now that we haven’t evolved as species when we still rejoice in watching battles and wars with all the gore and perceive that as entertainment – gladiators at the coliseum 2.0 – which is also at the same time used as a way to create a normalcy in the act of killing, of murdering, torturing, abusing and have an entire political connotation to it which is what consecrates it at the eyes of world history.

 

 

The Act of Killing is as surreal as anyone like André Breton probably could have imagined surrealism to be defined by and it is probably the first time that watching a film can feel like a movie, only to remind myself that it is in fact a Documentary: a real life presentation where there are several production processes as attempts to recreate and mystify the massive killings in Indonesia in the 60’s and how nonchalantly the perpetrators of such killings decide to represent what they did as part of what they believe is an honorable duty they were a part of – or should we say were told they were doing as an honorable thing – showing the massive propaganda machine that must exist as a constant reinforcement to convince us to do something, to actually kill and torture and commit the most hideous crimes and believe this is something in the name of national defense, honor, respect – sounds familiar? Only every single time that any form of conflict between human beings or two factions leading to war is justified.

 

What would happen if we were able to stand as observers of our own mistakes, crimes, abuse toward ourselves and others? The Act of Killing by Joshua Oppenheimer is remarkable in the sense that he has produced a documentary here the film in itself becomes the platform for the perpetrators to direct their own vision, their own accounts of the killings and re-enact – in their own ‘influences and vision’ – their hideous crimes that they choose to not define as such, because to their eyes they did ‘the right thing’ and as such ‘winners get to choose what ‘war crimes’ are, which is also part of the fabricated truths and creeds that we use to keep ourselves always on the ‘winning score,’ even if it means making of the killings of thousands – or even millions – of people an act of honor, a ‘need,’ a ‘right thing to do’ and forgetting completely about who and what they are in fact doing which is killing another living human being, an equal to themselves.

 

 

Witnessing the self-revelation that comes to the protagonists of this documentary specifically when taking the role of their victim opens up a possibility to realize what they have really in fact done, what they have put others through and witnessing a genuine moment of having the killers place themselves in the shoes of the ones they tortured and killed: perhaps an opportunity to forgive themselves for what they have done.

 

I watched the documentary twice and when I was in the movies I had a knot in my throat specially when realizing how disconnected we have been to everything we watch in a film, especially killings, what it means to kill, how killing is justified but what is more astounding is the actual potential for self-evaluation of such acts as something that is certainly unacceptable in contradiction to how these killers were just told to be and do.

Second time that I watched it was one week ago and I ended up tweeting: we are all in fact Anwar because I could see that we rejoice in blaming people and seeing everyone else as ‘the evil ones’ and we haven’t yet recognized we are all in fact the abusers in this world that allow not only the act of killing but any form of evil as the reverse of life to become our self-religion: what is money in this world but the way to deny life to another if so we decide to do so through ‘laws’ and politics, economic plans and further excuses like races, nations, colors to just not see and realize each other as equals? Who we are if not exterminators in this reality when thousands of species are dying every single day for our sheer presence in this world? Do we ever place ourselves in the shoes of the air, the water, the animals, every single part of this world that we constantly abuse, kill and deplete every single day in the name of ‘our progress’ or our ‘victories’?

If anything this documentary allows us to step back and not only get to see first hand the mentality that has to be fabricated to ‘create a killer’ but to also take the point back at self when attempting to blame anyone for this, or see ‘Anwar’ and the rest of the killers as ‘the bad guys.’ I realize that everything that we’ve seen as this abject consequence of our self-abuse is our responsibility and as such I have nothing but gratitude for having the opportunity to watch this film and be able to cry like a baby at the end in Anwar’s vomiting scene, because I’ve also felt disgusted, sad and angry at myself for what we have done to this world and each other and so it was revealing being able to witness another human being going through that.

Even if I haven’t killed a human being in this lifetime, I am equally  responsible for every single form of abuse that exists here, as we recognize we are all in fact one and equal – that’s our current Oneness and Equality – and there’s no way to escape this and this is one of the reasons why I am so committed to my process of self-change and self-responsibility, mostly to be able to shout out to the four winds : WE DID IT TO OURSELVES! LET’S STOP BLAMING FOR EARTH’S SAKE and instead FOCUS ON CHANGING OURSELVES to Prevent crimes and CREATE SOLUTIONS!

 

So, once we watch this cathartic process that this documentary The Act of Killing represents to every one of us as human beings, we can begin to Forgive ourselves for every single crime, abuse and atrocity we have perpetuated in the name of power, in the name of money, in the name of a god or a belief because we have all done this, then be willing to roll our sleeves up and focus on getting ourselves straight by first and foremost stopping the self-abuse within us because ‘wars’ and governments taking over and secret societies ruling millions of people is nothing else but the outflow of our own abdication of Self-Responsibility to oneself and one another. I say till here no further, we cannot go sponsoring death and destruction one more day in this world beginning the abuse at a thought and individual level we commit each day.

I stand up for Life in Equality and Self-Responsibility for the Crimes we have all committed against Life – AND please: do yourself a favor and watch this documentary, you can’t miss it.

 

 

Watch the Live Google Hangout where further details and explanations behind the documentary ‘The Act of Killing’ will be shared, along with the refreshing sense of Self-Responsibility that we have to what this documentary so vividly exposes to us.

 

 

Thanks to Joshua Oppenheimer for being such a kick ass film maker and creating this masterpiece that should be shown all over the world to become more aware of the most essential form of abuse we all commit in one way or another: the act of killing.

 

Investigate who we are as a group of people committed to take responsibility and prevent further abuse in this world:

• Desteni
• Desteni Articles
• Destonians
• Desteni Lite Process
• Desteni I Process
• Agreement/Redefining Relationship Course
• Desteni Forum
• Desteni Wiki
• Desteni Español
• Creation’s Journey to Life
• Heaven’s Journey To Life
• 7 Year Journey To Life Process

381. Carrying the Horns of Evil

 

Within our minds, we make associations where we might attach an image with an emotion or a feeling, we start defining such image according to the context we see it in, according to the people, according to what we hear/believe in according to such event/place/people and so, start defining ourselves according to all of the knowledge and information that comes from these mental associations that we integrate as ‘who we are’ and how we ‘understand the world’ and start categorizing our reality according to that, but with this comes also the definitions of what is good, what is evil, and where I stand within it all.

So, dreams stand as this ‘creation’ of myself to see what is coming up and why I’ve been dreaming of these things that seem rather random, but in a way they are only points that I orchestrate in my mind wherein I can see how I stand in relation to the people, the symbols, the places and contexts that I may not be physically linked to, but comes up due to having ‘activated’ some thoughts around such points or images, or people lately.  So, I’ve done this exercise of looking at my dream again, which has allowed me to review a part of my background and the judgments I’ve had toward that in an undercover manner inside my mind, which came to the surface when looking at this dream.

This time it was related to what I can consider as ‘family’ or lineage, since I was in that one building owned by some relatives toward which I have crated a like/dislike relationship as a child, a property that exists as the representation of power over others in terms of how economics operated the past century in this country, wherein some ‘main houses’ would stand as the property of the landowner in which many other people would work in, demonstrating the great disparity from rich/wealthy and the poor/slaves of the town. This type of buildings represent the way to set the mark of ‘who rules in the land’ – probably no different to how a castle operates in feudalism – but at a ‘minor scale’ –  these constructions are called ‘Haciendas’ and this one was built probably around the end of the 19th century or so,  and it has been held as something we should be somehow ‘proud of’ too.

The reason why I disliked the place was mostly due to me as a little child reacting with lots of fear to the kind of parties that took place in there. I would see how lots of money would be spent on alcohol, animals were sacrificed for the food of the day, lots of people would come in, politicians and people I had to greet as ‘my family’ without having ever seen them in my life, causing then an aversion to family reunions. Also at the same time there were some rumors of the place being haunted, which as a child gave me the creeps all the way, and essentially tainting the whole experience of having to go there to family reunions, reacting with lots of fear – later on as I grew older it became something that I was a bit ‘proud of’ when understanding what such place represented, as well as indulging in the alcohol drinking that was absolutely ‘normal’ for family, even as a young child.

 

 

Well, the dream was located in that place – or at least a representation of it, I would see the people I have associated to that place – some relatives – and how I would see them as ‘evil’ somehow. Of course when I was a child I did not question how one gets to have such amount of money to buy such a place and have political positions in a small town in this country, so it simply became as ‘normalcy’ to me, even a point of pride somehow and that’s where it all converges.

 

In the dream, I had on my head horns, like a goat’s skull with its horns, and I would actually see the skull on top of my head with blood. Usually when I dream about blood it triggers something within me which I have identified as the ‘killing of life’ that we are all participating in it. However the symbolism within this is quite clear: horns in my mind association stand for ‘evil’ and me having ‘this’ on top of my head when getting to this place, indicates the associations toward the place, the people, some hidden associations I’ve held onto as well as disliking in general being there. I would see some mental patients around the place which  I have no idea what about them but they were.

 

So what comes up, first of all the fright, the shock to see such thing on top of my head and me trying to take it off, yet I wasn’t able to, which made me feel horrified. In a way we can say that we all have blood in our hands, we all carry these ‘horns’ on top of us as the result of who we are/ have been since the beginning of time: the manifestation of evil that destroy life, yet fear to face it as such. I realize that I have personally linked that particular family lineage to a relationship of both pride and honor but at the same time of resisting to get to know ‘how’ they actually got that power, how they got to that position, and how they have mismanaged the money, how they have had many children due to the money they have, how they have business related to alcohol, how there have been various accidents related to alcohol yet continue to consequent such behavior as normal. And so within this, how I was dragged along the line of ‘having respect to them’ because of being family.  And here I have to say that it’s not like I ‘dislike them’ or ‘like them’ consciously, but it is about opening up the ‘hidden layers’ that exist around this point not only for myself as an individual within this particular family-configuration, but as humanity wherein one way or another – no matter who or what were our ancestors, we have all been the consequential outflow of having been driven by our minds, a system that thrives through abuse, the abuse of life in order to ‘live.’ I see that no one really has had any ‘clean past’ in terms of what our parents, and their parents and their parents of their parents did, so we cannot claim sanctity one way or another: we’ve all been here for ever and cannot claim that we did not participate in what is here today.

I realize that subconsciously I’ve held onto such disdain for what I have deemed as ‘unacceptable behavior’ from relatives, however I realize that remaining with such ‘hidden scorn’ or ‘mixed emotions’ between honor, respect – which were mostly ‘taught’ onto me – and the unveiling of ‘what was really going on’ has made me rather keep the point ‘separate’ from me as to ‘not have to deal with it.’ So this is why I see that the whole set up was to me rather ‘shocking’ in order to realize that in my dream I was trying to hide from them, and at the same time wanting to take of this piece of skull with blood off my head, but I couldn’t, not until they found me and I had to face them, which is quite obvious in terms of how we hold onto things because of ‘not wanting to face them,’ instead of realizing that if we dare to face it, we can actually let go of the point and face the ‘over-mystification’ that happens in the mind, that takes more energy and attention than if we were to simply face it, let it go and equalize ourselves to the people, the places, the situations we have held so many resistances and reactions to.

Another point is that: I am not separate from them, and that whatever ‘sins of the fathers’ I saw myself as separate from: I am one and equal to them as well.

 

(For the reader: various ‘dimensions’ open up here so bare with me as there are various associations linked to the set-up of the dream, so it’s best for me to look at them all here so as to clear the whole point, even if it may seem like ‘jumping’ from point to point at times)

 

Self Forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in my dream react with fear when seeing that I was holding these ‘horns in my head’ along with blood, and how I was unable to ‘take them out’ right away until I had faced the family I was ‘running away from/hiding from’ in that hacienda, wherein I realize that I haven’t wanted to face this particular part of myself, my family, my ‘forefathers’ which are people I know very little from, yet in terms of how I have judged what I have come to know of them in public sources, by being with them has made me create a certain disdain toward them that I’ve harbored in a ‘background’ manner, since I got to know more about structures of power, money, and the connections created with politics, which also was another reason why I had ‘loathed politics’ in the past, due to witnessing and knowing of how these relationships take place in what I have judged as ‘lavish’ meetings where there is a huge use (judgment: squandering) of food, and alcohol and entertainment in order to demon.strate a social-status, power, and within this, create more networks of power and influence over the majority.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to in a covert manner enjoy the benefits, the experience of being part of that one family with certain ‘name’ around a certain region as this made me feel ‘important’ or with certain ‘relevance’ ‘above the majority,’ which indicates that I was the one that created the whole experience that I projected onto others as ‘what they are/what they experience’ without realizing I created this experience toward the people, toward the place by judging it, associating certain knowledge and information – and when realizing how ‘wrong’ it was to desire or enjoy the benefit of having certain position in society, I went to the complete opposite to condemning all forms of power abuse, politics and such due to the basic witnessing of how that takes place when money is ‘not a problem’ and used only for the benefit of a few, while it was rather obvious that the entire place, the people working in there were not ‘at the same level’ and so witnessing first hand how inequality ‘looked like’ when you are ‘at the top’ and have people serving for you.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad and sad about the people I would see working in there, witnessing the abundance of food and drinks and luxury given away for a few hours while them having to resort to only ‘being the workers’ for such place, for such people, which is how I started questioning why the hell only a few can have this kind of benefits  – and within this create an inner conflict about it in terms of what looks good, what feels good within me, but judging it as wrong and detrimental to people and as such, because I veiled myself from seeing the ‘bigger picture’ at that stage, I simply decided to ignore that realization I have had, about power, about politics, about who benefits and instead only create an avoidance to all of it, as well as a way to not want to recognize that I liked the idea of being able to have ‘such power’, but, in the mind we go into reactions as to not have to face our responsibility to it, and instead we usually become victims to our own experience.

 

I realize that I can only judge something when being separated from it, when believing that  it is ‘them’ and ‘others’ doing right/wrong things, without realizing that I am both sides of the coin, and that judging it and separating myself from it create no solution to it at all.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create the experience of being ‘ashamed’ in the dream for having these horns on my head with blood, and not being able to take them off, because I didn’t want to see me with such thing in my head, nor did I want others to see me with that either – which is revealing how this is something I had to face, walk through, self-forgive as to no longer be ashamed or try and deny my experiences toward positions of power, when seeing abundance of money, when being benefited in any way by any position of power, which made me then create the polarity of ‘I like it’ and ‘I enjoy it’ even if it’s only for a few hours, and then go into judgment about it, inner conflict and mostly not wanting to have anything to do with ‘them’ because of any associations with power/abuse that it may bring. Therefore I see that I created my own ‘friction and conflict’ based on memories, definition, information that I took personal an defined myself in relation to it, when in fact it only serves as a point of reaction within my mind.

Therefore, I continue to see what else is in it.

 

I realize that we have all as human beings have participated in abuse, in one way or another, and how we all in fact carry such ‘horns with blood’ in our head as the symbol of the evil nature that we all are in fact, the blood as the sacrifice of life for our benefit, and we all carry this ‘sin’ within us until we are able to self-forgive and directly create solutions that prevent these ‘sins of the fathers’ from repeating over and over again.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever see any family member with disgust or disdain or plainly fear them as a child, not really knowing the reason why other than hearing certain deeds that I knew were not ‘beneficial’ for themselves or others, including the massive procreation of people as a result of the power and ‘recognition’ they held, which also I have held as a relationship of disgust and shame, mostly – without realizing that that is what someone with certain power eventually ends up doing: abusing it, misdirecting it without measuring consequences, and this entire world is the result of us abusing each other in one way or another for that matter, so judging these individuals due to ‘them being related to me’ has more to do with ‘me not wanting to be associated with abuse’ and that’s the reason why I didn’t want to see me with this piece of skull with blood over my head, yet it would only ‘come off’ once I would face the people I was hiding from in the dream: the generations that have gone before us.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to having wished coming from noble people that are ‘honest’ and ‘trustworthy’ not realizing that this was only for my own benefit, of being ‘immaculate’ which is impossible considering who and what we have always been as humanity in this world, wherein most likely no one has such immaculate origin, as no matter ‘where we come from’ or ‘who is our family’ we are all equally responsible for the atrocities in this world.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be horrified, ashamed, fearful of having such ‘horns with blood’ in my head in my dream as what I have defined is a symbol to realize that I also carry that which I have judged others for, and avoided facing as myself too.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to identify a piece of skull and bones as horns as something ‘horrific’ along with blood, not realizing that I am composed myself of bones and blood – therefore I see the association of ‘horns’ as ‘evil’ and blood as something disgusting to look at, due to how horror films – which I don’t even watch but okay it’s part of the collective unconscious – uses blood as a symbol of horror, crime and so forth to generate fear.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create the scenario in my mind of an experience of fear due to the place that I associated with that old hacienda where I have believed that there were ghosts or people haunting others, which is also why I held such an experience of fear about it as well, petrification in fact when it came to even thinking about having to ‘spend the night there’ which never happened, because I always threw tantrums in order to never stay there.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to generate an extreme experience of fear when getting to this place because of knowing that there would be lots of alcohol available, therefore lots of people in a party-mode which I came to then resist due to not liking to see people becoming drunk and stubborn, as well as – on top of that – fearing the entities or ghosts I had heard of.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to come to dislike people that drink, and large amounts of people because of the extreme fear and even nervousness and anxiety that I would go through when getting to this specific place due to all the elements involved: lots of people, rooms filled with bottles of alcohol, lots of chatter and the myths and stories of the place being haunted.

 

I realize that as a child and being as usually afraid of everything as I used to, the idea of having to spend the night there was a nightmare to me, which I never did, but I would go to great lengths to make my parents leave the place so we could rather sleep at a hotel and not there, which is how I have in my mind connected all the points of fears toward that place specifically, linked to ‘the people’ in there and now I see that it’s only me in my mind how I have ‘mystified’ it all, and actually holding more energy in relation to the memory itself, how I remember it, how I defined my experience in there as a memory in itself, instead of realizing that it’s just a place, it’s just people and that the one experience of fear I had created in my own mind.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold on to a kind of hatred toward drunk people, not realizing that I’ve been there myself as well and that I stopped because of living by a principle of doing what is best for all, but it is certain that I would have also become ‘my own worst nightmare’ if I had continued to drink, and do it as ‘normal’ as it is considered for family or the majority in society wherein alcohol is an ‘okayish’ thing to take/drink, which is absolutely unacceptable.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the family business because of it being linked to alcohol and how I stand for ‘banning alcohol’,’ which had become a point of conflict when relating to my family, yet I’ve realized and actually walked the point wherein I stick to what I see is common sense and stand as it. Yet I realize I must stop any judgment that may still come through in relation to alcohol, as alcohol in itself is just a substance, it is the individuals that drink a lot of it that become a problem, and a danger to themselves and society.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go from pride to shame when it comes to the relationship with this family when I got to understand power, politics, relationships and how this was closer to me in the family than I expected – and as such created an ambivalent relationship of ‘liking’ the fact of having such background but at the same time, not wanting to be associated with it due to the relationships of abuse that are formed within such positions. However I realize that I can only judge this reality and others based on my own value systems, thoughts, knowledge and information which is then what I take responsibility for, as I cannot ‘change my background’ or my relatives, their businesses or anything like that – I focus on myself and what I am, and instead work on stopping and eradicating any form of subtle judgment toward anyone in any position of power or the opposite as poverty/disempowered.

It is within me stopping this sectarianism within myself that I begin the change within me first, by stopping defining people according the structural abuse of the past.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold on to memories of my past, and within that holding on to judgment, beliefs, ideas and perceptions as well as my own reactions as part of ‘how I see myself in relation to relatives’ from this specific family, the place and all of it becoming ‘more than what they are’ in my mind, because it’s certain how our memories become the instrument to ‘haunt us’ meaning to cause reactions and re-live the initial experiences of that moment, without realizing that we are here in the moment, physically in another space-time and that it is pointless to continue categorizing, judging, identifying and labeling people, places, circumstances according to how I reacted to them in the past – I take full responsibility for my reactions and ensure I let go of the ‘haunting’ experience which is only of benefit to my mind.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold on to judgment toward others and certain relatives based on how I have deemed them to be toward each other, themselves as ‘abusive’ without realizing that within this I am only holding on to the ‘negative’ to be judged instead of rather also looking at what I can learn from others that is of benefit for everyone, as I see that I tend to be a tad extremist when it comes to painting something/someone either white or red. Within this, I see that instead of judging all that is ‘bad’ or ‘wrong,’ I rather investigate further to see what I can learn from them/others that is beneficial for myself and all, and apply it to my own life.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create such a tantrum at that time with my parents just because of not wanting to stay in that place in fear of ‘having ghosts lurking around.’ I realize that as a child, I allowed fears to absolutely drive me to also lure others into doing what I wanted them to do based on my fears to, for example, not stay at a certain place due to potential ‘ghosts’ coming out at night.

 

I realize that I allowed myself to believe many stories, many ideas about spirits, ghosts and other paranormal phenomena which in turn became a constant fear within me as a child, which I held onto until the time when I got to know there were no more ghosts, spirits and so forth, which is only 6 years ago due to finding about Desteni.

 

 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold any judgment, idea, perception toward others as family members that I could create an experience of shame or avoidance to be linked to, as this only perpetuates self definitions according to ‘who I am’ in terms of being part of a particular family, holding a particular name, which is only how we have constructed the system – yet in reality: we all are equally related to one another, as we are in fact one and equal.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel ashamed for being part of humanity which has been a point that emerges from time to time when witnessing the abuse we impose toward each other and everything around us, not realizing that everything that we are is ourselves and so, every abuse that is ‘committed by others’ is in fact committed by ourselves too – we have been the evil in this world, and this is why I relate the horns upon my head as a representation of how I have also participated in this, I have also formed part of the atrocities that I associate the skull with horns upon my head as the representation of who I am in the mind, evil as the reverse of live/life, and as such the reaction to realizing ‘I am also part of it/it’s upon me’ is unnecessary yet for the dream being a way to realize that I cannot ‘separate’ myself from it.

 

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to want to ‘hide’ from consequence, hide from having to face what I first created a ‘taste’ for such as alcohol or the taste of bits of what I defined as ‘power’ and ‘social recognition’ above the majority, and create an avoidance toward it later, not wanting to see it as part of what was going to ‘shape’ me and who I am, and what I like and what I’m supposed to be proud of – not realizing that this is absolutely nothing to be taken personal, it is where I was born just as any other thing or person is defined within this system – and even if my core family wasn’t rich or having these privileges as those relatives did – at their time – the notion of ‘being recognized’ or having ‘certain power’ did create a likeness for it initially within me, which I later on veiled and covered up because of not wanting to face my own participation in the ‘taste for power’ linked to specifically higher status in society, which I have also disclosed in previous blogs extensively, the polarity of desiring power/ loathing power and how to correct it.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge elitism and inequality, yet I create such conditions every time that I define people according to the amount of money/power/status they hold, and how I also participate in it in my mind when judging anyone based on money/power/status – without realizing that this that I have defined as ‘evil’ – being money, power, social status – is something I also participate in and require in order to ‘live’ within the set up in this system, therefore I stop holding judgment toward what is here, the hierarchical levels, the forms of structural violence that exist in our hierarchical society – as I realize that we will only stop these definitions once that we recognize equal value as the recognition of who we are as equals.

 

In the dream, I was only able to take the horns off after I had faced them, after they found me because I was deliberately wanting to hide from them. So it means that I can only take off the horns is when I have dared to face this experience that I had been harboring within me, without realizing that: the more I avoided looking at it, talking about it, writing about it and clearing myself around this point, I would only be holding on to it as the polarity of like/dislike, what I enjoyed at some point in my life and how I am correcting myself to not ever fall for what I deem is the corruption that comes along with power, and with this stop the cycles of abuse that have existed throughout our history as humanity.

 

In this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assume that these specific relatives had to abuse in order to obtain such power – without realizing that even if it was so, me holding on to such judgment doesn’t change the facts, the past, what has been done – and also within this not to try and now hold on to this ‘myth’ of there being some kind of ‘good doer’ in the same family that was ‘stealing from the rich to give to the poor’ as a way to redeem myself and want me to be directly linked to that person because ‘oh he was a good doer and wanted to bring social justice in early 20th century’ which is just creating the polarity of wanting to be associated with the ‘good ancestors’ and avoid anything related to what in my mind I have defined as ‘evil or bad’ ancestors.

The truth and reality is that all of it were designs, were placements, were roles that had to exist to create the entirety of the system as is: of rich and poor, of abuse, of power and enslavement – and within this, I realize that I have been a product in and of this entire system, regardless of my direct lineage or family – I realize that an individual has the opportunity and the gift of self forgiveness no matter how ‘evil’ or ‘bad’ or ‘good’ they’ve been, and that’s what I see is mostly relevant: to let go of the fear to face the evil we have become, to face the crimes against ourselves and all living beings in this Earth for our self-interest, for power, for money, for status, etc. And in this we can liberate ourselves, free ourselves from ‘the sins of the fathers’ and ensure that we ourselves, myself, do not fall ever again for traits that come with the illusion of power that can only exist as abuse within the context of this system we are and live in at the moment.

 

 

Self Corrective Statements and Commitments:

 

When and as I see myself being ashamed of carrying the ‘horns of evil’ metaphorically speaking, when realizing where and how we have contributed to the problems, the abuse in this world –  I stop and I breathe – I realize that going into shame or avoidance to look at it only leaves us as victims once again of what is already done. Instead, I commit myself to stand within that realization, take into consideration the entirety of this world-system, see where and how I have directly participated in what is here, and no longer take these things personal, but instead walk through the shame, use the shame as a reminder that I can no longer re-crate the sins of the fathers, to recreate that which I came to first like and enjoy and then loathed and avoided as a polarity construct in my own mind.

 

I realize that holding on to shame based on my own memories, judgments, ideas, beliefs and perceptions around any individual that I am related to directly as ‘family’ is useless to keep, as the shame itself creates and recreates the definition that I hold toward ‘them.’

 

I commit myself to stop any form of shame and avoidance that exists within me when looking at the things, the consequences we have created as humanity as this only recreates a mind experience about it, and does nothing to solve it – therefore,

 

I commit myself to transform the shame, the avoidance of looking at something into an opportunity to equalize myself with that, so as to understand it, to place it into context, to see what can be done  in relation to preventing, correcting, aligning relationships that have enabled this abuse

 

I realize that we will face the real nature of ourselves and that being ‘horrified’ by it, by seeing our direct implication onto it makes no difference to what is already done – therefore

When and as I see myself being ever horrified at looking at the consequences we are generating as human beings on Earth, I stop and I breathe – I realize that being ‘shocked’ at what I/we create every day – directly or indirectly – does no change, creates no solution to such problems and situations. Therefore

 

I commit myself to stop participating in any emotion of shame, horror, disgust, avoidance, disdain when seeing, understanding and/or witnessing how we directly impact the world, how we directly abuse ourselves and each other – and instead commit myself to live self forgiveness, to not get ‘trapped’ in the experience and wanting to ‘run away from it’ or ‘take it off of my head’ metaphorically speaking – but instead, face it, be willing to walk through it in order to establish solutions, realizing as well that it is only when we dare to face the true nature of ourselves that we can then get to understand why we are in the condition we are in our world and reality and as such, within understanding, and no longer judging it, one can create solutions.

 

I commit myself to no longer be ashamed of or want to hide from people that I wish I was ‘not related to,’ without realizing that this would imply holding on to shame toward all of humanity and myself, as I am part of everything and everyone as well – therefore I let go of the judgment and instead walk in self-forgiveness, stopping any reactions and separation toward all that is here as myself.

 

I commit myself to stop fueling my own ‘myths’ and mystifying people and places only for the sake of entertaining past memories of certain experiences that serve no purpose to who I am here and as such, I let go any definition toward my own memories as ‘haunting’ and instead, focus on living here, every moment, being self directive.

 

I realize that it can be a bit shocking at times when we get to see how we/others behave, what we/others do in terms of creating consequence in our reality and why it is that we ‘do it’ and so the ‘shock’ comes from not being able to ‘compute’ about the crimes against we have all – equally – committed against life, against ourselves. And this is why I suggest educating oneself about the nature of who we are and have become as the mind, as these consciousness systems that in no way have considered life, the reality and the substance of who and what we really are. Therefore, every form of ‘evil’ in this world, every word, thought or deed that doesn’t benefit us all as equals, is the reality that we have created in un-awareness of who we are as one and equal, and as such, we stand up, we face it, we direct and establish solutions to prevent the problems and align what’s already here to the benefit of everyone in equality, beginning with myself.

 

 

To stop judging the world as ‘evil’ and start living:

• Desteni
• Desteni Articles
• Destonians
• Desteni Lite Process
• Desteni I Process
• Desteni Forum
• Desteni Wiki
• Desteni Español
• Creation’s Journey to Life
• Heaven’s Journey To Life
• 7 Year Journey To Life Process

313: Good, Evil and Power

What is good and evil can be shaped according to the morals imposed by the governing power. We can’t trust knowledge to decide what’s best for all, and this is an example of how words can be twisted to justify wars in the name of ‘Saving People’s lives from Evil.’  This is a bit of context in order to get to understand where ‘Rights’ come from as a form of Righteousness that defines what is ‘good’ and ‘bad’ what is ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ to pursue in one’s living condition.

• 307. CapitalismUS: Pursuit of Happiness
• 308. Might Makes Right: CapitalismUS
• 309. Equal Distribution of Power
• 310. The Illusion of Power – Self Forgiveness
• 311. You Want ‘All The Power’?
• 312. Are Rebellion and War the Same?

 

Problem:                                                                      

 

Before we begin to disclose what ‘Rights’ are, let’s look at the basic mindset of ‘Good and Evil’ and the role it plays in our current political dispositions.

 

What is Good and What is Evil?

The difference resides in the morality from which both ‘good and evil’ stem from, wherein according to a particular faction or dominant ideology, the individuals will ‘make up their minds’ about what is good and what is evil wherein personal benefits at an individual level or state interests at a system level are guarded, secured and defended. This means that because it is knowledge, it is a mind creation that when it is lived out, it can cause either beneficial outcomes or harm and abuse, just as any word we live out.

Evil is the real Human Nature as the Reverse of Live, that’s the simplest way to describe it, and Good is that which should be Best for All, but Good is not lived as such holistic determination, but instead shaped according to morals of what benefits the individual’s interests without considering such ‘good’ being a common denominator for All participants, due to, once again, knowledge and information as ideologies, idiosyncrasies, religion, culture, etc. All of that which separates the individual from physical considerations of what best for all in fact means, for example an economic system where every person can be regarded with having such right to pursue happiness in Equality, where no one is left out of such unconditional support as part of our Self-Responsibility by virtue of existing Here.

An empirical example is how for Americans it can be a ‘good call’  to wage war on terror, to justify going after potential terrorists or anti-democratic regimes with the banner of installing democracy and universal human rights, which are only a consideration according to what’s good for them and openly disguising imperialistic tactics justified by the ‘Salvation of Foreigners’ which then sounds like a Good thing for people in America to support war and their troops abroad: the invasion is then seen as Benevolent, people will accept war as a means for GOOD and a Benevolent act to ‘Free people from Evil Regimes/dictators’ while using war to do so. This is how  knowledge and information is used to adapt and warp people’s interests to think and believe that it is in their best interest that their military force wages war against ‘regimes’ or potential terrorists that threaten their own security, which is why war is then seen as a ‘defense,’ without realizing that such wars happen to have more civilian casualties, destruction and abuse than any actual defense from an apparent malevolent sovereign or terrorist.

However if we see it from the side of people in Iraq and Afghanistan, what Americans are doing is Evil because they are simply killing their people in order to obtain their territory and resources for further accumulation of power on their side. This is thus how the same act becomes Evil when seen from ‘the others side’ of the coin. However it is the same coin.

The consequences are very real. People dying is the result of countries seeking to broaden their range of influence over other countries to ensure their ability to have power over the territory for economic reasons such as the extraction and siphoning of resources, territorial military purposes, strategic geographic for further military campaigns, etc. It is Imperialism and this is the same mechanism being used by Corporations in our current Capitalist system as well, in the name of progress or further ‘economic renewal’ wherein in the desire for ‘good sales’ and positive numbers in economy, the lives of people that have to work as slaves with a miserable income have to ‘pay the price’ that will make another smile when seeing such a ‘good quality product at such a low price.’ At the eyes of the consumer it is ‘good’ to have affordable items, at the eyes of the worker it is evil to get such an unfair pay for their work. Obviously common sense is that such ‘progress’ is in fact Evil as it is not taking into consideration the lives of Human Beings, but only numbers, sales, and maximizing profit.

Evil is then the manufacturing of actual harm and abuse justified by mind-created needs that seek to obtain ‘power’ through abusing, violating, killing, extorting. And Good has become a way to distort such actual reasons and justifications with labels like ‘liberty’ and ‘justice’ and ‘democracy,’ so that the same actions are justified in the name of the ‘greater well being’ of a country’s populace. However it must be understood as an actual Imperialistic tactic, which is how our system has been funded upon.

 

Solution                                                                            :

What matters is not what can be defined as Evil or Good within our current configuration wherein we’re trapped in loopholes of cultures, traditions, ideologies, religions, languages that are the representation of us seeing more differences within who we are as the mind than common grounds based on physical aspects of who we are as humans, as physical beings living in  a physical world with equal needs. Thus, what matters are the Actions –  how words are Lived-  and not to get caught in morals of ‘right and wrong’ and ‘good and evil’ since I’ve just explained how this can be twisted to suit personal interests. That’s what knowledge does, and that’s why it is an instrument of power that has been used  to abuse, extort and control rather than establishing any common sense, otherwise we would have already transcended such polarization that is existent in every single aspect of our current living reality.

 

Evil is the reverse of life, which is what we as human beings currently exist as since it’s the foundation of the mind that creates knowledge and information to justify its insulate means of requiring friction and conflict to exist. For that we require to dissolve morality on focus on prevention and consequence of what causes common well being and what will disrupt it.

 

 

Rewards:                                                                        

Focusing on the physicality, what is best for all is the way to ensure we stop being ridden by morals as knowledge and information to make up our mind about what is best for all, and instead, ensure we establish practical ways to always act, think and speak in the best interest of all life forms, that’s our responsibility as part of this society and ecosystem until good is what’s best for all – and I mean ALL as Equals in fact.

What’s Best for all can only create a single outcome, real living enjoyment in Equality.

 

This will continue…

For further reference, read  the Equal Money Wiki

• Place your questions as the Equal Money Forum and Equal Money Capitalism at Quora

• Visit the Group Capitalism vs. Equal Money group on Facebook.

• Read the Equal Money Wiki

• Read Economist’s Journey to Life

 

 

 

 

Blogs:

• Day 310: The Children of the Law of One (Part Three) –

• Reincarnation: Recycling Beings for Heaven’s Profit (Part 2): DAY 311

  From Spirit to Body to Mind…back to Spirit – the Cycle of Karma – Continued

   

Watch:

• The Power Principle

• Psywar

• The Century of the Self 

Vlog:

• OBEY – A Review –

• 2012 WAR NO MORE –

• 2010 Equal Money System: WAR is Unacceptable – YouTube