Tag Archives: excel

239. Preventing Failures in Life

 

I Know I can do it – a full potential that can only exist in our minds  if it’s not lived as the totality of who we are here in one single moment that it can be placed into physical/ practical living application- otherwise we then simply become great parrots.

 

Through reading Heaven’s Journey To Life, I realized that this ‘I Know’ is no different to hope and having ‘faith’ in oneself which is a synonym of inaction and further waiting for something/ somehow being able to direct ourselves in the future, and in the meantime the ‘I Know’ remains as a point of security – as mentioned in the previous blogs, a false-confidence that serves no purpose other than holding a thoughtful-assertiveness without any physical results that prove it to be so in fact.

 

Continuing from:

230. Opposing My Roots

 

So, I’ve been debunking this self-belief of intelligence as just that: an accepted and allowed tag as ‘who I am’ that is no different to any other category we tend to reduce ourselves to. Therefore within this self-belief it is no different to holding the idea of a god in our minds having some form of power over others – same when I say ‘I Know I can Do it’ but not do it.

 

Memory within the ‘I Know I Can’ Character – Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Statements

 

Event/ Memory: Being worried, stressed out, anxious about an exam when I was either in 2nd or 3rd grade primary school and my mother saw me all worried about it and told me ‘You Know You Can, others that really can’t should worry, but not you’  within this creating a sense of security within the acknowledging of another that ‘I can’ because I simply didn’t trust myself – and from this moment on, I would hear the same words in my mind the moment I would go into any form of stress about exams or any other academic point wherein my ‘performance’ was going to be measured. Within this, it became like a ‘magical motto’ that I would use to gain confidence but never really dissected what was it that was implied within this single ‘You know you can’ statement that became my ‘I Know I Can.’

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to base a security of who I am according to Knowing what I am capable of based on previous results and experiences of getting a high-grade with certain ease wherein I would realize that stressing out was not required since I would always excel, which became a conceited way of existing as a knowledgeable character wherein I became of this knowledge-ego as myself as this certainty that became a self belief, creating a consequence of me really not being self-honest with myself because I stopped giving ‘it all’ that I could based on comparing myself to Others that would be in a much ‘lesser position’ and accordingly, measure my abilities/ capabilities as always remaining ‘on top’ but only through ranking systems wherein I stopped pushing myself further to actually develop skills or improve myself, but create a form of mediocrity wherein all that mattered is that I ‘knew’ how to do it,and would do it but that was it, there was no longer any push or drive because in my eyes and at the eyes of others, I was apparently already ‘good enough’ or ‘intelligent’ so

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to limit myself within a self belief of ‘knowing’ which eventually became only a fluffy ego self-belief without any form of actual work, substance behind it, becoming this façade as personality that people would identify myself with, without me precisely working on actually being/ becoming a ‘better person’ according to my standards then, but just keep myself ‘on top’ to remain within that position at the eyes of others, but knowing within myself that I wasn’t really ‘giving my all’ and developing further skills and abilities, it only became an ego-driven effort to ‘keep my spot’ but not actually do it for myself for the purpose of actually expanding and learning more about myself,  within this

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become apathetic when it came to all things school, because within this ego of ‘I know it all’ everything became too repetitive within my mind, too useless, too dull and boring because of me believing that I was ‘at the top’ and there was nothing else to aspire to within this

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to spite my own predictability of becoming someone ‘great’ within the world system just like all the other kids with ‘great grades’ such as what I had back then, and because of deeming this ‘excelling’ within the system as something that I had to do but also resisted/ feared, I ended up opting for an ‘unexpected choice’ in life wherein I did all I could to dedicate myself to studies that had nothing to do with ‘being intelligent’ apparently, only spiting my own character and ending up trapped in my own web  – so to speak  – because of this choice being made out of spite and ended up spiting myself and getting caught in my own regret as another for of stagnation – which is unacceptable, because I was indeed the one that made the decisions and in no way are such decisions being considering what’s best for all, but only spite the entirety of who I had accepted and allowed myself to be and become.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I had ‘nothing else to do’ or nothing else to be or become because I had it ‘too easy’ and as such, would get the same experience in any school or career because the problem was not the school or what I chose to study but my starting point and self experience within it and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame the careers I chose, the people I chose to be with, the likes and preferences I developed and essentially the totality of my choices in life as something that ‘didn’t work,’ without realizing that all of that was simply according to who I accepted and allowed myself to be as this knowing-character with no practical living considerations of what would actually be self supportive in self honesty, because I am well aware that I only sought my ‘highest excitement’ within my choices in life – therefore

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to make my choices in life as to what to study, who to establish relationships with, what to be ‘inclined’ to learn more about, the ‘type of personality’ that I became was all driven by/ through energy as the mind that sought a point of excitement within what I perceived as a dull life experience, within this not realizing that I deliberately sought to create a form of inner conflict to ‘make my life more entertaining’ as in having something to be sad about/ be regretful and essentially trapped in my own mind bubble of regrets, without realizing that no matter which choices I would have made, I was going to end up in the same position because there was no principle established in order to live in self honesty and within the consideration of self support, because that didn’t exist in my frame of reference back then. Thus,

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and blame others in my past and all the influences that I had throughout my life for having made the choices and decisions that I made, without realizing that it was only me that participated fully and fool-y within/ as them, playing the character for myself and others while holding a high expectation that was only sustained as a self-belief – not real as an actual physical movement of which one could only get the basics that would allow me to keep such position in place, but within me I Know that I didn’t quite give it ‘all’ myself as an actual self-movement, which ensued apathy and dullness within myself toward anything having to do with being ‘creative’ or ‘good’ at something, not realizing that these energetic experiences were the consequential opposite outflow of first having chosen my career and studies based on an energetic high where no 1+1 was considered and I am fully responsible for that, and well aware of it, wherein

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to make decision in life based on energetic experiences of wanting to seek my ‘feel good’ point as a certain character/ personality that ‘I knew’ I could fulfill, without ever actually taking this decision and projecting it to see what are the practical points that I can employ myself in and being realistic about it according to how the world system works, which shows/ reveals that I wasn’t in my 5 senses when I made the decision, but was existing as this ‘fluffy’ type of self-belief of me ‘Knowing that I can make it’ as this self-faith and self-belief of being ‘capable of doing anything I can’ but never really testing out and walking the practical physical considerations of what I would be able to work in and do within these careers and actually Do it as an informed decision – but, I didn’t hence the consequences.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold my mother’s words in a similar vein to the ‘you know you an do it,’ type of self-belief and hearing ‘you are going to be great no matter what you do,’ and in this believe that I could in fact excel and be the best ‘no matter what I do’ which is what positive thinking and talk lead to: creating a self-hope and self-faith of being potentially able to be the best wherever and whatever we do and become – which is not a ‘bad’ thing in itself, but how I lived those words as a form of false-certainty with no practical application.

I realize that within these words that became backchat, I became only a character that could live-out these self definitions within the law of the least effort wherein my results were compared toward others and within this, living up to simply ‘maintaining’ the character but not really being here as myself being self-directive in everything that I do, which is what we tie ourselves to within this world system: remaining as that specific character For others and neglecting an actual self-development to our fullest potential, which is not even encouraged within our current education system either no matter how many ranks and studies one may have, it is still within the confinement of a selective-preparation that one can do wherein the actual beingness of the person is  – most of the times – not regarded, but only accumulating further knowledge and information as a form of ‘betterment’ that has never been based on actually supporting a human being to become a Living being in the consideration of equality as life or any other living principle that we can live by for the betterment of all – in essence, a blatant self-belief with no actual practical application.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to elevate myself to my own expectations of being ‘good’ at whatever I decide to do, and take these words as an actual ‘positive statement,’ without realizing that if I would not in fact investigate in a practical physical matter what I would want to do, it would only became just another energetic-driven experience with no self awareness of the practical use of my decisions in life for an actual betterment of life.  Within this

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that this ranking system in the school system more creates a sense of specialness/ uniqueness toward those with ‘high grades’ without really providing with an actual education and support toward actually being/ becoming something and someone that provides with an actual insight of the necessary points to change/ implement within this society for a common betterment, because none of this has been propagated or taught in schools, which then places into question the entire schooling system in itself, wherein if what’s best for all is not placed as the common-goal within any field of studies, then: what are we actually supporting as ‘education’? Who are we becoming within this education system within such terms and conditions of not really aiming at doing what’s best for all? Is then a so-called intelligent person within this system that is not aiming at supporting life in equality an actual honorable definition of what Intelligence should be in this world’? No, it only becomes a synonym of being well trained to not ask questions, seek your permanent status within such ‘higher ranks’ in society, get well paid about it, become an example for others to follow which is what enables the system to be perpetrated generation after generation, no one questioning what these ‘higher ranks’ in society are actually based and founded upon.

 

Within this all, I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to live out as an ego that believes can excel in ‘everything I decide to do,’ wherein it mostly became a sense of ingrained superiority against others as the primary self experience of ‘knowing better/ knowing more’ and creating this security based on what others believe me to be – only to then find myself obviously dismantling the entire self belief and realizing that if we look at what I actually did is nothing but just surfing on the ranks to maintain a mediocre superiority status for the sake of ‘keeping my spot’ as being intelligent/ responsible person, but the Who I was within such results was not really here as a self-directive being, actually doing it fully and whole heartedly, because I actually within this ‘having faith’ within myself, eventually ‘lost faith’ within myself and everything/ everyone, which became this constant apathetic self experience toward the world as the usual cycles of ‘what’s the use in this,’ without realizing that this is the ‘nitty gritty’ point that I often hit as a continuous cycle once that ‘I know how it will all end anyways’ wherein I actually become the predicament of my own thinking processes, wherein we trap ourselves within our own loops of ‘knowing how it all ends’ and blindly driving ourselves to repeat the same experiences over and over again with no change – why? Because who I am within what I do is not fully self-honest as the realization that I had never in fact lived and that all I pretended to ‘know’ and be able to project an outcome of was only a way to ‘give up’ on myself before even starting, give up on any actual self-motivation because of seeing the world as just ‘too fucked’ to have any change be possible –

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still hold on to a belief deep inside that there is no way we can change humanity, which is the ingrained ‘doomsday’ type of self-experience that I became wherein I mostly lived up to others’ expectations but not really placing all my beingness and effort and self-direction toward an actual living, doing all that I can to in fact develop myself further in a certain area or activity, just because of still holding on to this self-doom shadow as a constant presence of ‘nothing that you do will work, will make a difference’ which translates into an ingrained dullness and apathy within myself, giving up before even trying and just keeping a certain ‘standard’ but not really physically directing myself to for the first time motivate myself to live.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stop challenging myself in life just because of believing that I have gotten to the ‘peak’ too fast and there was nothing else to ‘attain’ and within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to equate life to an ‘attainment’ of sorts, believing that being alive was a synonym of getting ‘high’ in any form of rank of what ‘success’ is now measured within this world and reality, and within that realizing success for what it is, spiting it/ doing all I could to not become that, but only within an energetic-spite that then became as a hopelessness and uselessness wherein it did not matter how much I ‘knew’ it was ‘useless’ because it was never being placed within the consideration of what is best for all.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to instead of taking responsibility for our creation as this world system, create an experience about it, which is like complaining about our own fuckup as a form of victimization to not actually take self responsibility for it. Thus

 

When and as I see myself creating an Experience about our current world condition based on ‘what I Know,’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that in this I am only focusing on my own self experience and use it as an excuse to not move, instead of simply moving, doing and directing myself to face the consequences of which I am absolutely self responsible for in an equal manner, consider what’s best for all and direct myself as it, physically – not thinking about it.

 

I realize that the perceived ‘apathy toward living’ is only an elitist self-experience that we are able to embody because we are secluded in this minute bubble of self-experience where the reality and the actual suffering in this world that is existent within everyone that have no access to money is simply disregarded, no considered – which proves how this apathy, hopelessness, helplessness and uselessness is only an egotistical experience wherein we are only looking at ‘how we FEEL about life/ our reality’ and create this entire self experience accordingly, instead of actually looking at the world physically, understand the flaws, understand how Nothing has worked in the past as a point of change and see where we have missed ourselves as living beings within it all.

 

I see, realize and understand that within this ‘knowing’ point, we diminish ourselves to our own self-beliefs as limitations that are and have never been based upon an actual consideration of Life, because Life is not a knowing but a living.

 

Within this, it is to currently realize that we have to walk the transition point from knowledge and information and all the characters we’ve become around this self-belief system of fake values, and individually walk our own self correction to establish a self-honest starting point within Anything that we are currently doing – because I realize that no matter what choices I would have made in life, I would have lead myself to the same ‘uselessness’ experience where nothing seems  to work, nothing seems to make a difference because nothing of what is currently existing in this world is Meant to/ designed to/ created to make an actual difference in this world. Therefore

 

I commit myself to Live the realization that no matter where I am, what I do and the choices I make, nothing of what currently exists as the past and the old system that we are still living in is designed to ‘work’ and ‘function’ and be suitable for an actual birthing of life – because this IS precisely our task, our duty, our point of responsibility and within this

 

When and as I see myself ever again getting to the point of ‘oh but nothing I do will change anything within the world/ others’ without realizing that it is so, nothing will change and nothing will move if our starting point remains within the same old ‘starting point’ of this entire world system as it exist today, wherein nothing is veered toward an actual functional best for all outcome. Thus I realize that that is our work, that is our duty, that is our self responsibility that will not emerge ‘by magic’ but has to actually be conducted within self awareness of the required changes in the system in order to then be able to align ourselves to that which will create  a substantial point of support for ourselves and others in this world.

 

I realize that there will be no quick fixes or results either, as such ‘quick results/ fixes’ exist only as a mind-interpretation of reality wherein no actual physical processes have been considered, nor any form of actual relationship that exists within ourselves toward each other and all the other living species, which then places into question how we have in fact never lived, because we have only ever equated ourselves to fulfill the same old standards within a system that has never really in fact functioned to support life.

 

Thus I commit myself to live the understanding and realization that a Knowing can only stand within the past of everything that we have been and become, and that nothing of this has ever in fact been living-conditions for each other – and that the motivation to then actually live won’t come as a Knowing of anything that we’ve been in the past, but must be walked s a practical living daily application of letting go of everything that we Believe we know and instead, walk ourselves through a process of re-directing ourselves to consider physical reality outcomes and current systematic transitions wherein yes, we are in this world, we have to still present a knowledgeable act but! who we are within ourselves is an awareness of this being a single ‘transition period’ that we have to walk through, facing our failures and manifested consequences and within doing so, concomitantly paving the way for a new ay of living and existing, as I see and realize that the process of birthing ourselves as life won’t have any ‘precedents’ within this system, it is an absolute self movement within the realization that it isn’t preprogrammed, it won’t come ‘easy’ or it won’t be defined according to ‘who I have been’ in my past. It is entirely subject to my own self movement here in every moment of breath.

 

Thus, from the past we can take what is useful and what can be molded/ shaped or corrected in its starting point to be able to function within the Equality System as the Equal Money System, wherein people won’t be regarded as ‘more’ for knowing what everyone will be equally capable of living/ doing – but instead, we will focus on supporting ourselves to develop practical skills that are readily useful to sustain ourselves in this world system as equals – no more hierarchical ranks in schooling systems of any kind.

 

I commit myself to stop existing in this self-hope of ‘I know I can’ but instead stop the past within myself by realizing that I don’t require to have this self-positive-talk as assertiveness, but simply direct myself to do it, within the consideration of having to walk through the past in order to correct it here as myself.

 

I commit myself to stop regretting the choices I’ve made in life and believing that they lead me to failure, without realizing that all in this world is currently failing and that the only way that we can stand up for ourselves is walking through this failure, facing the consequences and concomitantly living the solution within our living application of doing, being, proposing what is Best for All.

 

I commit myself to live the realization that we have to walk through the past, give it an actual ‘good riddance’ as a self-corrective process to face what we have become, what we left behind and everything we ‘Know’ but didn’t act upon and instead, give ourselves a start from scratch in order to actually build/ create what we are willing to stand equal and one to as our self-awareness creation, to no longer have to create a ‘negative’ or ‘positive’ experience about ourselves and ‘who we are’ within this world, but instead simply focus on aligning ourselves to be and become equal contributors to a best for all outcome in this physical reality – no more and no less, using the knowledge and information that can provide us with actual insights and data that we can consider in order to establish a world system based in Equality, the same process that we can apply for ourselves to not maximize our capabilities only at a thought level, but rather physically supporting ourselves and each other to ground such potentials toward an actual doing that ensues a result that benefits the whole in equality.

 

To be continued…

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The following illustration depicts this point, it is only going back to the ground wherein we can rebirth ourselves from scratch. It is then quite obvious how we could not be able to make ourselves ‘succeed’ from the starting point of everything we have believed ourselves to be. This is our equal point of starting from scratch, and this is how no one can possibly be ‘more’ than others  or ‘more advanced’ as nothing in this world can possibly provide such advancement without the illusion of progress being tainted by self-abuse.

Time to live in common sense and realize that every breath is our equal-starting point as physical beings that can direct ourselves to live the words we write/ speak in common sense – this will prevent any form of perceived ‘failure’ in this world system, as we have all in fact already failed to live as equals – hence, the willingness to walk this self-corrective process: there is no way out of this, we have to face our creation.

 

Good riddance to any form of laureate past since everything we have done and become in this world has been based and founded upon abuse, there is no way to keep any form of honor within what we’ve become as that would be ego and self separation.

 

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Day 41: “Knowledge is Power"

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to deliberately become a knowledge-seeker wherein I deemed that I could get to be ‘worthy’ through accumulating knowledge and information that would enable me to ‘judge the world/ others’ with sufficient ‘cause’ as I had equated knowledge = power as power over others.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately accumulate knowledge as an ‘attribute’ that I CULTivated in order to be able to ‘worth’ myself according to the accumulation of knowledge and information that I used as ‘ammunition’ in order to be able to always have answer to everything, and within that, being able to ‘win’ at all times for giving the correct answer and feel ‘good’ about myself – in this

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to program me to become a knowledge and information sponge in the name of my personal benefit wherein I ‘knew’ that it would then not matter that I wasn’t accepted according to being a ‘suitable image’ in society, but I could be recognized, valued and worthy according to the knowledge and information that I decided to accumulate as a long-term inversion, wherein I could then get to ‘win’ over others through such knowledge and get people to value me and admire me according to the amount of knowledge and information that I could accumulate throughout my lifetime in my desire to become a ‘knowledgeable person’ that would be respected for ‘always having a bright opinion’ as the idea of who I wanted to be, as the one that could write about others and in that, having power even over those that were creating original-works (in writing/ art) as I could then use the ‘power of knowledge’ as words in order to either bash them = make my ego grow through feeling good about ‘bashing another with knowledge and information’ – or enhancing their ego through using knowledge and information to validate and justify their work according to my own knowledge and information reference.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that without knowledge, I would be a ‘no one.’

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself for ever having suffered because of realizing that I had spent a long time accumulating knowledge as my own ‘inversion’ that could give me some profit in the future, as I expected and had directed me to become a ‘critique’ of reality, arts, culture and in that, thinking that I was ‘on the right path’ because of all the amount of knowledge and information that I had filled myself up with while growing up.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continue perpetuating a system that is basing a child’s education only on knowledge and information in various ‘sectors’ that are in no way considering that the skills and abilities of each human being differ, and that knowledge and information without actual application is useless.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed my role/ position as being a ‘opinionated person’ that could bring up knowledge and information as a means to create an ‘impact’ that could place me upon others and in that, getting my positive experience for being praised whenever my teachers would say ‘oh you always have the answer’ or ‘what Don’t You know’ which would always place me in a position of mixed embarrassment and feeling good for taking that as a compliment, which means that I would mask the ‘good feeling’ with a ‘negative experience’ in order to not seem as conceited with knowledge toward my fellow classmates.

 

I forgive myself that I ever allowed myself to take for granted every breath that sustained my personal pursuit of power through knowledge in place, using my physical body as a container of data that I could access whenever I would get the opportunity to ‘dazzle’ someone with my ‘wits’ and ‘win’ over something/someone by ‘knowing the right answer,’ which is how I allowed myself to become only a single personality that accepted that ‘being intelligent’ and ‘knowledgeable’ was ‘my place in society,’ and deliberately neglected any other activity that had nothing to do with arts, culture, books, intellectualism at its finest, within this

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deify myself as knowledge and information – which is energy of/ as the mind – and defying my own physicality every moment that I gave my power away to thinking and seeking to be ‘more knowledgeable’ believing that the ‘answer to life was there,’ and never considering my very own breathing-ability as the real life-giver, despite the evidence that knowledge and information and all intellectual in this world have only done one thing: thinking about the world, not living.

 

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to feel like the ‘queen of the world,’ when winning spelling contests and ‘beating males’ in the contest, as that apparently made me ‘super intelligent’ and making me feel better for having ‘them’ below me, which gave a specific sense of power as the knowledge and robotic task that spelling represents. I realize that the moment that I sought to win, I was fully participating in the same pursuit of triumph that I have cultivated my entire life, and that has been linked to me wanting to be recognized and valued according to the knowledge an information that ‘I possessed’ as a way to be recognized within society for that, as I deemed that I only was ‘good at’ mind-related work, but not physical world – and yet believe that I was ‘on the right track’ because

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perpetuate a world-system wherein knowledge is paid more than actual physical work, which is a point that I have criticized of the system as to why people that are above in the hierarchies are paid extensive amounts of money, while only giving orders and sitting around all day – while people that would do the actual work to keep the money system in place get paid close to nothing, which I deemed as ‘absolutely unfair’ yet, I was aiming at becoming a part of the people that earn a lot of money for thinking and not doing much, which proves the double standards that exist when one thinks that ‘my job is to have opinions about reality and intellectualize it’ and nothing else, which is diminishing my entirety to become nothing else but an archive of knowledge and information that has no practical-living experience, but only gets paid for/ is recognized by all knowledge and information that has been accumulated in order to be able to use it to ‘talk about reality’ without actually being a part of reality as in physically walking the world-system, but only staying at the comfort of my own mind that gets money out of thinking reality.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that whatever I could see in another was ‘the reality’ of such person, as all that I was seeing was their mind according to my own mind without really taking into consideration that all that we have ever been is the accumulation of manifested consequence as the effects of the primordial separation from who we really are as life into energy – which means that anything that I could perceive, believe and think another to be, is only me viewing myself according to my own ‘frame of mind’ as the frame that I have limited myself with to never Live, here as a physical being, but only live through/ as my own mind – believing myself to be the knowledge and information that I accepted as ‘who I am’ while growing up – within this, becoming my own set of knowledge and information in separation of  my physical body that doesn’t require to be judged/ assessed/ defined/ given adjectives to in order to exist.

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to stand in front of the mirror and judge my body through the eyes of the mind as the eyes of that energetic consequence of separation form myself as my physical body, which implies that I would always see me as ‘not good enough’ / ‘flawed’ because of who I had accepted and allowed myself to be and become as ‘my own mind’ – within this

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard every single cell that allows me to breathe, to move, to drink, to eat, to walk, to interact with my environment wherein all of this time I had deemed it as just ‘dead flesh,’ which is an absolute insult as the only thing that can end up dead is the physical consumed by my own continued and deliberate participation in the mind. I realize that the ability to direct myself as my mind is absolutely possible – therefore, I allow myself to stop thinking and simply approach my own body for the physicality that it is, instead of diminishing it to being subject of my own judgments that exist only in the righteousness of who I am as my mind.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become self-righteousness based on the certainty that ‘who I am is my mind’ and thus, cultivated my own mind in order to make of it a long-term investment that I could later on ‘use’ as a means to obtain money/power in this world as an ‘intellectual’ which was part of the aims I had toward my life, wherein I certainly abused my body due to using it only as a knowledge-carrier and allowing me to simply exist to deify knowledge and information, while neglecting and separating myself from every breath that I took for granted throughout my life.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ever invest endless hours improving my own mind as to be able to ‘judge’ reality with proper tools and ways to always ‘win’ and have ‘the ace’ under my sleeve – which means that everything that I CULTivated throughout my life was consuming knowledge and information that I kept/ stored in the future projected belief that ‘I will someday need it’ and in that, locking myself into the future as knowledge and information, while neglecting my very physical body and taking every breath for granted, because all I ever thought myself to be was ‘a thought,’ an idea/ image/ presentation toward others only  – where was I? Lost in translation, accumulating knowledge and information that could apparently make me ‘more’ and ‘more worthy’ than others. In this

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accumulate knowledge and information as a means to always have ‘the answer’ and having stored it in means of always being able to ‘win over others’ which means that I trained myself to become nothing else but a lie-brary of useless knowledge and information in order to always ‘be right.’

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to become a knowledgeable elitist or intellectual, wherein I sought to satisfy my own personal enjoyment of talking to ‘like-minded people,’ which means that all I wanted was another pair of ears and mouth in order to regurgitate the same knowledge and information that I was fond of,  and call that ‘affinity’ and ‘same interests,’ when in fact the only interest was me asserting ‘who I am’ as my own mind, as my own set of knowledge and information that I then created an energetic experience toward whenever another is able to relate to it, which means that anything that two people may have experienced – apparently- about another was in fact only about self as the mind getting confirmation from another mind on similar self-created programming.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to develop kinship toward specific people in my world according to how I had judged them as ‘knowledgeable,’ ‘intelligent’ and ‘well read,’ which were qualities that I actually thought about myself, but never accepted it as ‘who I am’ out of wanting to be ‘humble,’ and in that, simply seeking to be part of a group/ circle in society that is only looking at the intellectual aspect of reality, philosophizing and having endless conversations about how ‘know it all’ we were – and Not focusing on the actual reality, which is how I became absolutely oblivious to the world for quite some time, while seeking to CULTivate knowledge as CULTure in the name of personal power.

 

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to only get along with those that had similar mind-cultivation and egos, which means that I sought and aimed to ‘get my spot’ in society along with ‘like-minded people,’ which is the foundation of separation and elitism through only becoming a part of the social-networks that we want to be a part of based on who we are as our mind, instead of regarding life as the physical practical living as the actual bond that can be in fact extended toward any other human being, by virtue of realizing that we all have the same body, the same systems inside in common which makes us all equally dependent from the Earth to live – within this, realizing that knowledge plays only a role of self-definition in means of separation as a way to continue competing and believing that ‘there is not enough for all, we must excel to be able to get it all’ – and in that, agreeing to only be the rats in the cage that always seek power, self-gratification and apparent ‘control’ over others through ‘knowing more/ better.’

 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see how I have never in fact lived a relationship with another, nor myself as all that I had deemed myself to be was my personality, my ego as my beliefs, ideas, preferences and general ‘view’ upon life, which is knowledge and information that I absorbed through my parents, through school, teachers, classmates, TV, family members which are the places wherein I asserted ‘who I am’ only as a daughter, a student, a cousin, a niece, a friend and growing up with the same idea of myself according to such social roles, plus the ‘professional role’ which is what I decided to be/ become based on wanting to continue satisfying my own ‘exclusivity’ of ‘who I am’ as knowledge and information, which means that the choices I made in life were only based on self-interest according to what I wanted to be and become based on ‘who I am as my mind,’ and never ever actually considering ‘How can I prepare myself to become a being that supports the environment/ the world-system to become a best-for-all outcome where life can be unconditionally supported?

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to judge others for their ‘career choices’ in life wherein I never dared to question myself and my career choice/ choices in life due to me being simply hoping and dreaming that the world would end and I would not have to study/ become someone in the system – and/ or simply hoped that I could become someone ‘famous’ in the art world and suddenly be having enough money to live well without a regular job – yet neglecting taking all the practical steps for that, and as such only existing as a believer and hope-keeper that ‘good fortune’ could come my way out nowhere, which is the consequence of having always only thought about reality, but never actually living it.

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to judge that I always ‘was right’ and everyone else was simply ‘wrong,’ wherein I allowed myself to live a life of a ‘secret agent’ of my own Secret Mind, wherein I developed a constant paranoia of fearing that people would always only approach me out of convenience, and not genuinely approaching me because they appreciated/ wanted to spend time with me – without realizing that in a energy-seeking reality, all actions are directed through/ as energy – wherein only if we remain here in every breath through and while directing ourselves with others, can we say that we have in fact heard /interacted / communicated  – otherwise, it is simply another ego-inflation machine that is only viewing everyone as ‘enemies’ and potential ‘threats’ to ‘who I am’ as my own mind.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate and perpetuate a world system wherein people are divided according to the knowledge and information they possess, which is another form of control and instigating survivalist-fears according to ‘not being well educated = less chance of making’ it through’ which means that we have valued an education as knowledge and information above the right and ability to have a dignified life that all should be endowed with by virtue of birth – wherein those that never had access to knowledge and information that is remunerated as ‘education’ within this world are simply numbed out of the equation within this reality wherein ‘the more knowledge you accumulate = the wealthier you (can) become.’

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to spite my own life with pursuing a profession wherein an actual practical interest to make this world a better place for all was never part of my plans, as I always sought to do it ‘my way’ wherein I could have all the ‘right intentions’ to do so, but never considered entering the system and changing it from within, which proves how through knowledge I valued and thought that I could ‘make it’ without having to really work on it and become a part of the mechanism that can change the way things work/ function in this world.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Not question why and how come we as humanity in a world system value knowledge and information above life, wherein out education is based on acquiring knowledge and information that prepares us only to perpetuate the same system of knowledge and information that gets remunerated as a way to sustain our own ‘ideal’ of reality through money, which is having “created” a reality based on thin-air, just like our current monetary system that is based on knowledge and information, but not on actual physical living that considers all life in equality.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that it is through knowledge that I separated myself from the realization of who I am as one and equal to another, as knowledge is assessing others in separation of myself, while neglecting the very substance that we are all equally made of, that doesn’t require to be ‘defined’ and ‘assessed’ in separation of myself, but simply self-realized as who and what I am as oneness and equality of life.

 

I commit myself to stop any form of disregard toward the very breath that I take in the name of becoming only knowledge and information that can be ‘valued’ by my own mind and ‘others’ minds as ‘who I am.’

 

I commit myself to stop placing any form of worth and value toward another and myself based on the knowledge that I/ others possess, which is the very first step to get out of my mind and into the physical body that doesn’t require knowledge and information to function and nurture itself, it simply requires me to support myself at a physical level, using knowledge and information that is practical and supportive in the immediacy of its application.

 

I commit myself to stop the war against my very own body, my very cells,the entire conglomeration of beings that I have disregarded at all times while focusing on improving my grey matter of brain that I deemed is ‘who I am’ and valuing myself only as knowledge and information which is in fact, that which will cease to exist – as knowledge can never be life.

 

I commit myself to prove that no knowledge and information has made a difference in this world and that it has only created and perpetuated the ‘gap’ and difference between humans beings according to ‘who we are’ as a mind that is able to accumulate knowledge and information as an inversion that gets rewarded in this world system where money rules and the physical is only abused to keep perpetuating such fallacy.

 

I commit myself to expose how knowledge and information is sectarianism in society as it exists now, because we have denied the ability for all to have equal quality education, which means that knowledge must be a practical means to support life in Equality and this must be the basis of a new educational system that can be beneficial for all beings equally.

 

I commit myself to create a world-system that values LIFE only and uses only knowledge and information as a means to give and receive what’s best for all, which means that life won’t be at the service of knowledge any longer, but stand equal and one at the service of life, wherein no more hierarchies are created out of ‘knowing’ because there won’t be any special reward toward knowledge, but simply using it as a means to benefit humanity and improve the quality of living in all ways.

 

I commit myself to expose about this reality being our own crafted mind control wherein we have valued knowledge and information above life and how it is imperative to stop supporting the same mechanisms of conflicting reality within our minds and instead, getting into practical living reality where physical living solutions must be integrated as part of any form of education that is truly aiming at creating a world system that works for all in equality.

 

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What you are in your mind won't pravail - wake up

What you are in your mind won’t prevail – wake up! (2008)

 

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Interviews:

A great interview that explains how we are in fact having this process on a golden platter and how crazy people manifested on this world – and  how it is vital for people to listen the Desteni message in this reality.

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