Tag Archives: fantasy

181. Waiting for the Ideal Moment to Write

Another point is how I have seen how I have this idea that If I am working on something, I have to ‘shut down’ from anything else in order to just focus on this one single task to complete, no matter how long it takes – which is an aspect of my personality linked to being rather extremist when I commit myself to do something, and within this leaving behind/ not giving attention/ not maintaining the rest of my activities with proper attention. Somehow it is as if I want to ‘redeem’ myself, my initial procrastination and getting it done all the way, in one go – which is once again based on a consideration of the mind in me wanting to ‘make up for it’ instead of simply continuing to now do it on a regular basis.

This, as ‘seemingly unimportant’ as it might be, it actually constitutes one of the most used excuses and justifications to not work on this, because in my mind I have made this idea or belief that I must simply get it done in one go and not having to do ‘anything else BUT the task at hand’ – wherein things like ‘oh I won’t have time to eat’ and wanting to shut down any form of communication with others as if this was a distraction emerge, thus it is a recurrent thinking process wherein I hold this ‘ideal’ of having the time and disposition to do so. By ‘time’ I mean having an entire day or more of just having to focus on that, not having to do any other point of responsibility and essentially it’s like being secluded in order to ‘get it done,’ which is of course extremist and in separation of reality wherein if my body would for example make such drastic decisions such as ‘not wanting to digest my food for one day,’ I could have gotten ill or even died for that. Therefore, it is a mind-delusional requirement and almost a requisite that I’ve created as part of linking this particular writing to some ‘book writing’ and ‘being a writer’ as the ideal of not having to do Anything else but writing.

This is backchat that I mostly play out in a self-accepted manner in both ways: the ‘negative’ and the ‘positive’, meaning, that I’ve made it alright to simply drop a particular task for undefined amount of time and/ or go to the extreme of wanting to JUST dedicate myself absolutely and completely to that one single task to ‘get it done’ and forget about everything else, wherein I then create an experience of seeing ‘everything else’ as a nuisance and an obstacle to ‘achieve my aim’ – even within the wording we can see how there’s an energetic drive to it, wherein I am not really considering the process of writing myself as a self-supportive process, but mostly only following my own needs in relation to trying to ‘make up for it’ as the amount of time I did not regularly spent working on it – regularly being the solution here – and instead, go into the extreme of wanting to get it done as fast as possible.

However, the ‘thing’ that happens is that I end up only seeking for this ‘one whole day that I can dedicate myself to it to get it done’ and eventually not get to ‘that whole day’ as I have obviously several points to attend as my responsibility throughout the day.

The picture that came to mind is from that movie ‘the Hours’ and how the character of Virginia Wolf would spend her days in her room writing and not really having to attend anything else – or so I got that ‘idea’ from the movie of course – I remember my backchat within that was ‘How cool! She only has to focus on writing and have her cool time to go out for a walk (read the blog: 175. My Sacred Time of the Day) and just write and write and write’ awesome, I want to be like that! And so within this, I created this belief ever since then that, in order for me to focus on some ‘writing project’ I basically require the life of a ‘writer’ as I used to read about the lives of all these writers that I admired and how they would wake up really early to write and then follow throughout their day doing the same. So all of these and many more are background conditions, not to mention the ‘inspiration’ that I thought was required to write as well. So we can call these the ‘ideals for perfect writing time’ which are based on other people’s lives and conditions within what I have judged as an ‘easy life’ of simply having to indulge in writings and seemingly having others doing their responsibilities at hand, such as taking care of the house, making money or even taking care of children.

So, here I have the ‘ideal’ aspect which can form part of the imagination, however it is not that it comes up as an entire play out in itself, but more of a belief of how the external and internal conditions must be in order to write.

Self Forgiveness on the Fantasy that I’ve held as the Ideal Imaginary moment to write:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold the backchat ‘I have to shut down from anything else in order to focus on this one single task to complete it, no matter how long it takes’ wherein I am seeking to have this one ‘empty-tasked’ day to do this, and every time that I have made it as a point to myself to do it in this or that day, I end up postponing simply because I cannot simply ‘unplug’ myself from my reality in order to have this ‘extended period of time’ to just focus on this. I realize that in my desire to fulfill and make up for the time that I did not regularly work on this document, I then go into the extreme of wanting to ‘solve it at once,’ without realizing that this is mostly impossible since everything requires a process and my exigencies of wanting to redeem myself toward this task will most certainly not be able to be fulfilled as easy as just wanting to have it done/ complete in one go – thus

When and as I see myself seeking and ‘looking forward’ for the next weekend to have an entire day wherein I can work on my document, I stop and I breathe – I realize that in this I am actually limiting my ability to work on the document for a fixed amount of time/ hours a day, instead of wanting to do it in one go as per mind’s exigencies and instead , proceed to work on it regularly for hours a day in order to realize that this is and will be part of the daily tasks and process that will be required until it is done – thus,

I commit myself to stop looking for an ‘empty task day’ to work on this document, as I realize that there are no such days and that I can simply direct myself to fix the hours of the day in order to work with this and within that, making it part of the daily habits that I must work on.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make this point ‘more’ than any other point in my every day living, wherein within this experience toward the document as it being ‘more’ than any other writing or task I have to do, I in fact ensue the separation toward actually doing it, because of believing that I require a lot of time and the proper ‘setting’ to do it, the proper ‘momentum’ which is nothing else but a mind-generated drive toward the tasks that I have at hand.

When and as I see myself going to extremes of thinking ‘Oh I won’t have time to eat today, I cannot keep myself in communication with others because they are a distraction’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that these statements and others indicating ‘stopping doing something else because of seeing it as a waste of time’ is only based on me now wanting to redeem myself, as ‘my time’ dedicated to this task that I simply put aside for a long period of time. Thus

I commit myself to not try and ‘make up for’ the time I didn’t work on something – I face the consequences within the realization that it will take the necessary time and process to get it done, while combining it with my every day tasks and responsibilities as I see and realize that the ‘ideal’ of wanting to have an entire day ‘just for that’ is simply not possible and within holding this ‘ideal’ I have mostly created my own obstacles in my mind – thus I assist and support myself to distribute my time in order to dedicate hours a day to this document and realize that I don’t have to ‘aim’ to complete it in one go, as that would be only wanting to keep myself in a positive-experience of ‘having done it,’ instead of walking the process of doing it just as any other task/ point in my reality.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire having the life of ‘a writer’ wherein I had actually ‘dreamed’ and ‘fantasized’ quite a lot about being a writer and having a specific setting to ‘write’ and within this particular setting as a comfortable environment to write, I envisioned that I would require to be near nature and having no noise around me, having someone else cooking for me and doing my basic responsibilities and me simply being there, drinking coffee and writing and going for strolls around my own garden – lol – as I see and realize that even if this was a ‘made up illusion’ obviously, I do consider the point and aspect of having ‘no noise around’ as the ideal point that I have to Have in order to be able to ‘concentrate’/ focus on this task, which is why the least ‘noise’ is rather an excuse to postpone it and also because of not precisely living in ‘the country side’ but in a constantly noisy neighborhood in the city – thus,

When and as I see myself wanting to have this ‘perfect picture’ of the ideal moment, ideal place and conditions to write such as being near nature, having no noise around, having someone else doing my responsibilities, having a garden/ nature to walk around on, drinking lots of coffee and essentially having a picture-perfect room/ setting in order to write and be ‘comfortable’ within writing a particularly ‘long’ document –I stop and I breathe – I realize that these imagination pictures that I have created are based on a movie, and are based on my ‘ideals’ that in no way have a correlation to physical reality, as we all require food to eat, money to earn, relationships to attend and a world to be aware of essentially in order for that writing to be in itself even a writing, as what else could we write about if it wasn’t about our experiences and realizations within the ‘real world’ which is not always quiet, wherein one does not always live in a perfect country side, nor has someone else to pay for in order to do one’s responsibilities –thus, I stop participating within these ideals that only become a rather absurd obstacle for me to not write, as I see and realize that these conditions and ‘terms’ that I have created in order to feel ‘absolutely at ease’ to be writing this particular document, implies that I have made of this document something ‘more’ than myself and any other task and that I have created this belief that it must be ‘perfect’ and as such be written within a ‘perfect’ moment/ environment – thus

I commit myself to stop creating the beliefs that I must be in and require specific settings and inspiration in order to write, as I realize that these are just mind exigencies that I have created in my mind, which have become excuses to not get to a certain task simply because I would rather ‘wait’ for that perfect moment and setting wherein all is apparently ‘done and fine’ and so ‘I can write till I drop,’ which is obviously not realistic at all.

I commit myself to stop making an imagination point an excuse and justification for me to not work on something within the expectation of having possibly ‘in the future’ a ‘perfect moment’ to write, which doesn’t exist as I am actually able and capable of simply deciding to work on something and that is it, the work and written document is not dependent on a feeling, or an experience of ‘inspiration’ which is part of the mindfuckism that comes when thinking about writing a document that is not precisely self forgiveness or writing myself. I stop separating one writing as being more/ less than the other and focus on simply doing it.

 

More to come …

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115. Following our Dreams is Plain Delusional

When we are children, we are taught to create plans to see where and how we ‘envision’ ourselves in our future, we learn the expression ‘Follow your Dreams’/ Making your Dreams come True!’ and what comes to mind is even that type of vintage pictures wherein such concept was literally ‘pictured’ like, no different to Nazi or socialist propaganda really, but no one cared enough to even look at how images of happy fami-lies became the golden standard – I mean the golden path to follow as an apparent ‘purpose in life.’ All of this was part of an entire cultural brainwashing in order to keep this system in place – Yes, following a personalized dream and fantasy using a delusional system to abuse reality became a ‘normal thing’/norm for all of us to accept as ‘real’ and friendly known as the American Dream, setting the standard of a self-proclaimed Excellence in ‘Living Standard’ worldwide and setting the trend that would essentially lead us all to our current downward spiral, as we see capitalism our image and likeness made an economic model to follow in mind and heart – destroying the very  life that we have literally abused in the name of ‘following our greatest excitement/ dreams/ happiness,’ you name it – the gist of it is one and the same: Focus on what YOU Want, do all you can to get it and screw the rest of the world.  

How is it that such elusive ideas became an actual aim/ goal in our lives, separating ourselves even further from physical reality and as such, buying all the lies that we have crafted in order to ‘materialize’/ manifest such imposed living standards based on consuming all we can as a synonym of power – how deluded: consuming ourselves as a symbol of ‘power’ and ‘success,’ no wonder we are in the verge of self destruction.

Who and what has created this consequential outflow that we are now sunk in? We have – many say we are doomed and lost forevermore – I learned from an interview at eqafe that as long as we are breathing, it  is never too late.

 

world's highest standard of living

What are we exactly saying when uttering the words: I am following my dreams!

What supported me to see this point was listening to an interview wherein I realized how one of the perfect traps is playing the game of wanting to ‘see more’ than ourselves here, wanting to BE more than who we already are, and that’s how we’ve lived endless cycles trying and attempting to be ‘special’ from the very beginning of human civilization  (I suggest to listen to the fascinating details about the technical aspects of what real Avant-garde reality existed here and the inner experience of beings within such context in Reptilians – Existential Devolution – Part 78) – never in our dreams would we have dreamed of having the actual creators explaining how we have created this reality ready to be the platform to develop our eternal ‘pursuit of happiness’ as ‘our dreams’ such as the perfect ideals of power/ a ‘moreness’ of which we never realized the consequence of, missing out the fact that we cannot literally build castles in this world without having slaves working to manifest it, we cannot keep ourselves ‘dreaming’ all the time about obtaining/ gaining/ stealing something MORE without even looking at how because of keeping ourselves in this perpetual slumber trying to be ‘more,’ we have in essence doomed ourselves to be and become our own worst nightmare, because we tried to manifest in this reality our mind-dream states of programmed perfection, power, grandeur, specialness, majesty while going neglecting every single being that must suffer the consequences of our Laws of Attraction, our Secrets, our Divine Light Wisdom Hollywood Treats that are like pungent shots of sugar rotting the very teeth that we use to bite the hand that feeds.

American-Gothic Dream

American Gothic mocking the dream

“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that Dreams will Use All available Memories and Mutate them to Specify the Greatest Fears, which are the Greatest Desires to make sure the Characters Remain ALIGNED to their Intended Evolutionary Path, which will Lead to the fulfillment of the Goals Set by the Characters in their Initial INCEPTION, as Characters through which HUMAN Nature Role play, is Accepted as the Only Way Life Exist on Earth as the Human. Regardless of the Evidential Outplays that Show that this Evolving Human Nature is a Destructive Force that Only Consider Self Interest and have no Conceptualization of What Life Actually IS.” – Bernard Poolman 

 

It’s very clear with Bernard’s blog today how instead of falling for the ‘thrills’ that dreams present, we instead develop and actual ability to see who we are in the dream, what characters are we still ‘falling for/ playing out’ and actually reacting to in our dreams – sometimes they even represent cool points wherein we can see ourselves not giving into the pattern, however the test of time is the real decisive factor here, wherein it is to ensure that we go facing our subconscious and  unconscious dimensions as part of our own process, until who we are in our waking moments and asleep is equal and one –

Within this I realized how the slightest moment wherein I ‘give in’ within my dream to play-out a single fear, a single secret mind desire, a single moment wherein I am waiting for something ‘more’ than myself to just ‘happen,’ I am still living in a mind-frame of reality wherein the physical is disregarded and we still try to get a kick out of any type of experience in our minds, all because of energy.

 

It is no coincidence that the ultimate pursuit of happiness can be explained as ‘following our dreams’ yet we never questioned it for the actual mind-creation to keep the system running that it represents, wtf? The lies we’ve followed as our ultimate goal being even called as the illusion that they are yet we align our entire lives to work, educate ourselves and essentially prepare ‘who we are’ to ‘fool-fill’ such dream, which is always linked to sex and money.

 

Our one and only dream should be Life in Equality for All through establishing the Equal Money System , simply because we have never even considered how our very ‘mundane dreams’ such as the overrated pursuit of happiness and any other delusion of grandeur are preventing us from actually LIVING and have actually lead us to a self-evident devolution, which is something we haven’t ever really done, because we’ve always given-into ‘the pursuit of ‘the dream’ the same way that we give into sleeping whenever we are not diligent enough to breathe and be the directive principle to live the declaration of who and what we really are as one and equal as the body, as the mind, as the physical reality that is already here and simply having to be organized in a way wherein all bodies in existence can be equally supported to finally establish an equal and one living-state wherein no more ‘dreaming’ is necessary, as it will be given unconditionally by mere virtue of having been born in this world.

 

Our fantasies have become our own demise, trying to live out that which has only ever been fabricated in our own minds, the perfect carrot on the stick that was only a holographic illusion.

Developing an equal and one relationship with ourselves as this physical reality is the key to actually make our ‘dreams’ an actual physical reality for all beings as one and equal where the Power of Equality is all that we can in fact be benefitted from.

 

I commit myself to stop any form of mind quest for an energetic experience that takes place when we go into a seemingly innocent ‘daydreaming’ state, which are precisely the building blocks of our entire delusional reality, wherein we have become walking zombies seeking for the next big thrill. Limited, very limited – and we are here to demonstrate to ourselves that it is absolutely possible to step out of our own tunnel vision of ‘great expectations’ and actually consider practical solutions at all times, to stop creating castles in the air of no substantial support for LIFE itself. Thus, time to get ourselves really grounded with our two feet on the ground to work together and see how we can practically make our ‘dreams come true’ as a tangible, physical, constant and consistent living reality for all beings, for once and for all.

Time to Wake up from this perpetual slumber:

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Understanding why desiring to Live our Fantasies is and has become our own demise: Why is evolution a fantasy that exists only in the Minds of humans and Media in the World-System? Find out here:

* See The Trap by Adam Curtis for context, as well as The Century of the Self


Witnessing: You’re Equally Responsible

 

It’s easier to expect a ‘better life once you’re dead’ than taking the necessary actions to LIVE in this world through supporting/creating solutions that can enable Life on Earth for all as Equals.

People seek ‘peace of mind’ and ‘tranquility’ which are part of the teachings that ‘masters’ such as Buddha  left on this world: ‘you’re not your body, just relax and chill’

Following some feedback on the video that I talked about yesterday, I’ve been called out for having ‘no faith’, for being ‘negative’ and ‘soulless’ – I can say I have no faith, yes and I am definitely soulless as everyone else in this world now. This person also speaks about daydreaming people that are walking for the same ‘common outcome’ that I am speaking about there as Equality, a dignified living for all –

Though, the obvious question is: how on Earth could I create a world that’s best for all only by wishing, hoping, witnessing, admiring, ‘thinking positive’ and hopping on chanting songs around a bonfire? Okay, that’s quite a cliché I admit, though it’s certainly the type of ‘relax and just chill’ attitude that spiritualists/ light&lovers/ general daydreamers and fantasy people talk about. They will most likely have some type of spiritual-agenda behind their enlightened ideas of ‘do nothing, let it all just ‘be’, smoke of this and be at peace’.

 

Now, what this particular person claimed is that I’m speaking from ‘Reason’ while they pretend/claim to be speaking from ‘the soul’ as in considering all the fuzzy feelings and emotions that make the infamous human, a ‘human’.  It’s obvious that this is not about reason or not, but words and sentences that can simply describe the actuality of this reality and the actual physical points that require to be taken into consideration if one is actually willing to/ interested in creating a world wherein Life is actually existent for all in/as Equality.

 

I’ve also just now read another comment pointing out how such human nature is existent at a genetic level and can’t be changed. Welly-well we’ve got a situation here, we got people justifying the current ways we’re living in because of our DNA and genetic predisposition, without even daring to question such programming, let’s not even say ‘daring to challenge it and change it’ because according to this person’s reasoning, it would be most likely impossible to do such a thing.

 

With these two examples on accepting spirituality/daydreaming/wishing and hoping as ‘means of change’ in this world and accepting the ‘human nature’ as immovable/ unchangeable  we can have a clear perspective on how it is through

 

Buddha was the ultimate ‘witness’ of this world and left this idea that bliss was created through detaching from everything of this world as yourself –

 

Just one quality of the Buddha has to be remembered. He consists only of one quality, witnessing. This small word witnessing contains the whole of spirituality. Witness that you are not the body. Witness that you are not the mind. Witness that you are only a witness. As the witnessing deepens, you start becoming drunk with the divine. That is what is called ecstasy.
– Osho

By passing this as ‘truth’ as usually accepted and venerated by people that follow the so-called ‘masters’, we then have a greater view on what people that have posted such comments/perspectives can be considering as part of their ‘views on the world’: be a witness, you’re only passing the Earth by, go sit down a tree and let go of the world, be at ease, chill out.

[No wonder such Buddha bar cd’s are made for getting drunk and literally chilling out while pretending everything is fine in this world… ]

 

“Becoming drunk with the divine!” Isn’t that what we’ve all done while being immersed in our thoughts and being self absorbed not considering at all the reality as this world that we live in and how ‘god’s master plan’ was to simply keep us entertained with things like ‘our thoughts’/feelings/emotions’ and spirituality to cultivate such bullshit as a way to simply not take an actual look at this world and question the current establishment/functionality and inner-workings of this entire reality – now who’s been duped here?

 

Osho/Buddha and most likely any other ‘master’ talk about following an experience – this is obviously what people that commented also defend: human nature/ humanity as an experience that seeks to be perpetuated without having to actually take on the necessary steps to do so.  By focusing on the ‘invisible side’ tagged as ‘spirituality’, all atrocities, the matter-dystopia in which we are currently living in is then ‘accepted as it is’, is ‘only witnessed’ not to be questioned or bothered by – what a load of crap we have indulged in as humanity. Having people till this day claiming that these characters were ‘enlightened’ and ‘all knowing’ is simply proof of how deluded we are/ have been.

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In contrast or the pole-effect of such ‘blissful’ characters usually praised and hailed by white-robbed people, we have characters of this same reality such as Hitler.

When reading and watching Hitler’s series through the Interdimensional  portal within  the Desteni material, it all made sense and became clear on how Forgiveness is the key. Though an initial barrier of fears and brainwashing had to be stopped to do so and the realization also was: if Hitler has forgiven himself then everyone/everything can.

Such ‘barrier’ is the extensive brainwashing we’ve all been subject to through our “education” that is proposed by those that keep the entire system in place.

Ironically, Hitler’s being the point used as bait for banning purposes upon the Desteni message – that says it all in relation to humans being easily brainwashed and holding grudges as ideas/beliefs according to the history that’s being told without even daring to see the current holocaust that we’re creating through several means towards all life. This is also linked to that ever-convenient attitude of only ‘being a witness’ and not actually daring to face the consequences of this world and create a change that will stop the abuse towards life/ourselves and ensure that we create and place a world that’s best for all for all time to come.

Opposing self forgiveness is in fact denying life and our ability to create a second-chance for all to live within this world. By saying we ‘can’t change our nature, we’re opposing Self Forgiveness, by saying that ‘we must allow it all to be’ we are opposing self forgiveness as it can only result in inaction and negligence towards Self Responsibility as actually taking care of the current problems we’ve created within this world beginning with ourselves.

 

We require as humanity to STOP seeking out a ‘blissful experience’ by all means, to stop seeking a ‘peace of mind’ because it’s obvious that it’d be like wanting to keep yourself in a clean bubble while the outside is filled with dirt and scum.

We’re all in this together now and we’ve got to open eyes to see that this is Not about ‘negativity’ but realism – this is not about being ‘soulless’ but having the entire understanding of how we had been conditioned by such soul/preprogrammed lives of endless cycles wherein we’ve disregarded ourselves as the perpetrators of the current abuse of life wherein people such as Hitler have been satanized forevermore, without even daring to question how people are nowadays waging wars for decades and are not being equally regarded as criminals and placed under the same scrutiny that has been inflicted upon others.

 

All of this malarkey has a single solution: Self Forgiveness because the madness of this world can be stopped from continuing and being perpetrated within each one of us.

We can only be held back by memory – if there is no memory but actual allowance of Self-Forgiveness to start clear from the moment on, we can create a new world based on a constant self-forgiveness application until Equality and Oneness is Here as a reality in this world.

This sounds nice – though to create it, will take you and I and many +1’s  more to do so, so let’s do it – this means, we’ve got to stop being all sorts of ‘witnesses’ that can be completely aware of how this works yet do nothing about it and instead, become the change that we have to create in this world.


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