Tag Archives: feeling good

264. All I Want to do is Feel Good

 

It’s quite easy to justify our desire to feel good, to escape, to say it is our free will and free choice to live our lives to ‘the fullest’ and call that a ‘living right to live life the way we want to’ and one should respect that, because we are not harming anyone doing so.

 

Continuing from:

220. Drug Culture: Mad Society as a Lifestyle

I used to live by these words ‘Live your life and leave me alone with mine’ and I must say it is like having to get down from a ride you are apparently really enjoying, just as we enjoy feeding our feel good experiences at all times in the mind – and within this, it is not that enjoyment is wrong or bad or we should not have a moment of fun, it is what we end up  Only focusing on when having our lives only being ridden through a desire to Just feel good all the time, to have a good time, to have fun, to entertain ourselves, to seek for new and exciting experiences. As anything, excesses or an entire life lifetime only focused on a hedonist lifestyle will certainly lead us to a certain place: death – one could say we will all ‘get there’ but the point is how we are willing to be aware and deliberate of our ‘choices in life’ to live as an hedonist being and decide to ignore reality and our ability to actually do something about it.  

The people that have crossed over can share nothing else but sheer regret for having lived lives hooked up in mind-desires and problems and ‘seekings’ that lead nowhere other than being caught up in the chasing after chasing energetic experiences of ‘fulfillment,’ but never really living.

The desire to feel good/ feel fine and the use of drugs is a common pair that can be justified in various ways, making an ‘honor’ to people in this world that recognize themselves as ‘villains’ and never ever having wanted to be the ‘good guys,’ not realizing either that this physical world and reality is not about taking a ‘side’ and painting oneself either black or white,  is not about being good or bad and feeding each other’s poles of antagonism/ protagonist we have divided our lives in, with obsolete morals that only fuel the separation as the believed sense of freedom derived from ‘doing what one likes/pleases to do,’ wherein there is no actual  inherent desire to  stand as an example of what a living-breathing human being can be, or make things better for oneself and everyone else, but simply deciding Not to live in order to create any form of change in this world – however, what I have found is that people that get to think this way are a consequence of not having been supported unconditionally to prevent them/ourselves from becoming a spitefulness act upon the Earth, and this does not necessarily harming others, but definitely being aware of neglecting reality by one’s will and fulfillment of a sense of contempt toward a world that ‘has never given a damn about you.’

 

Even if people can claim this is not the starting point for seeking such feel good experience, it is well known at Desteni how all positive experiences have a negative starting point: a constant ‘feel good’ experience actually stems from the constant self experience of living in fear, petrification, anxiety, remorse, guilt, mind trips and everything else we have defined as ‘bad/negative,’ leading ourselves to go into a quest to become the exact opposite, never quite understanding how we have lead ourselves to such a point of ‘carelessness’ and whose life we are really disregarding this way.


This is about understanding what one can also justify at all times with various excuses like deciding to simply live a life of enjoyment, having fun, having a good time, getting in touch with one’s most beloved habits, there is no ‘pursuing’ other than the energetic experience and visualization of one’s mind as something ‘better’ than reality, and then we dare to defend that as a living right, yes, a right to abuse ourselves even if the abuse is not seen at first sight: this is the real ignorance, what goes on beyond what our eyes can see is the reality that we have never ever been aware of, a reality we are trying to evade but also use as an excuse to defend ‘our right to abuse’

“Respect my Culture.
Respect my
Choices.
Respect my Faith.
Respect my Rights as a Parent.
Respect my Opinion.
Respect my Diversity.
Respect my Right of
Free Choice.
Respect my
Sexual Orientation.
All these Forms of Respect would Immediately be Gone once the Person Understand, in Detail, HOW they Create this through the Mechanics of the Mind and
See that All of these Forms of Respect are In Fact Illusions.” – Bernard Poolman *

 

Ask yourself: is this ALL that I want for myself? Have I really made the choice to only live this way? I am pretty sure that anyone defending their point will say ‘yes,’ however as one can realize, all our decisions are influenced by our ‘role in the game’ that we have called life, and I am pretty sure that at this stage from the poorest person to the richest one seeks a form to escape and evade reality in one way or another, and this is why we go back to the main point as always: we seek to evade ourselves, our mind, our past, our entire set of rotten corpses that we have believed we can only hide and run away from through using/ consuming/ buying/ chasing/ experiencing ‘something’ that can give us a different sensation in life – a sensation= a mind experience, and to understand all the choices we’re making in the name of ‘sensation’ is to understand all the motives and reasons we used to justify having lived our lives subsumed in self interest, seeking always/ all the time for the most benefit, the most enjoyment, never a dull moment when living in this constant tripping-mode as a regular drug user does.

I got to see this aspect of ourselves as human beings again, a forgotten one since it is not that easy to find people that are living relatively well, socializing, being overtly expressive yet openly willing to take drugs in order to get these experiences that become a life-style, a seeking for a ‘something,’ or at least I had forgotten what it was to be in that positive-light of mentality and optimism that would cover up quite a great despair that I could only open up after one stops draining one’s experience with any form of mind-drug, habit, addiction or definitive self-talk to believe that ‘there is nothing to worry about, everything is just fine’ and yes, that Bob Marley song comes to mind as it got stuck on sixth grade when I had to learn the lyrics to ‘three little birds’ and I felt quite dumb having to sing along to ‘Singin’: “Don’t worry about a thing, ‘Cause every little thing gonna be all right!” – then got to know Marley as this music god for all weed users and developed a hatred to be honest, due to all the ‘relax and just chill’ type of mentality, it pissed me off, because I actually wanted to live that life, live in a little place outside the city, being happy painting and forgetting about the troubles and being careless about reality, how wonderful! I got a taste of that for a while, it didn’t ease the distress, it only aggravated it- why? Because drugs and anything else we induce ourselves in in order to ‘forget all our troubles and cares’ becomes a suppression, a point that we then have to face no matter what since it means we have decided to deliberately ignore such ‘bad experience’ as our own creation.

So , what I have found is that even if ‘enjoying the ride of life’ becomes an enticing point, I have just proven to myself it is Impossible I could turn my back on life and go back to my ‘old ways,’ fracking hell no. I realized that the commitment we have to live is an ‘abnormal one’ in a society wherein we are all patting our backs for being the greatest cheaters, liars, addicts and careless pieces of mind that can exist. I decided to not be that, even if I could have had all of the opportunities to do so, to become quite a great player in the realms of the ‘intangible’ and be ‘successful’ within such mind-frame, but the lie eventually gets to be too extensive to handle, the lie catches you on fire and  you either burn to ashes to reborn or allow yourself to keep fueling the fire with more airy-fairy ideas that lead you to believe that ‘feeling good’ is all that life is about – limited, very limited, but ostensibly attractive.

Is it too extreme to vow oneself to life the way that we have committed ourselves to as Destonians? No, it is really only having to live in a world of temptation and tame the forces that we have allowed ourselves to be driven by throughout our ‘lives lived’ through the mind. It is to swim against the tide – without opposing/ neglecting or antagonizing – of everything and everyone that points us out to one single thing: just relax, sit back and just chill, do not care about the ‘bad stuff’ and misery, give some charity here and there, try and make poor people’s lives a bit happy for a while, share some of your time with the unfortunate ones and the rest of the time, just ‘enjoy.’


Enjoyment cannot exist as a continues consumption of either drugs or food or sex or any other part of ourselves in our reality that we turn into ‘our new toy’  that we have linked to a ‘max’ experience within ourselves, it is unsustainable. We can only look at our ‘entertainment industries’ to understand what we are deciding to be and become: chill pill consumers in order to just ‘live our lives and never mind the rest.’ Yes, in a tunnel vision reality that makes sense, but soon reality will ‘catch up with us’ and we will most likely have to step down from the fairy-tale mountain with some rough awakenings – is this necessary? We could prevent it, but at this stage the question remains:

“What will it Take to Wake Up People from their Obsession with Respect that Do Not Place Life in Every Way, for Everyone, Always, First?” – Bernard Poolman

 

The problem is how we have definitely blinded ourselves to make it all fine in our minds – money is the primary security that enables us to have fun, to have all we want as an ‘extra’ point of enjoyment and as such, justify such ‘lifestyle’ with working, with retribution somehow to society, not realizing or fully comprehending why it is that every single act and life that is existing here is our equal and one responsibility, because all patterns that lead to the acceptance and allowance of disparity have been blindly accepted from generation to generation. It’s about time we give to each other what we have always wanted to live by, but never thought we could.

 

As for drugs, how can any mind-induced experience become the ‘savior’ to our experiences if it is the very physical body that is being consumed everything we ‘think’ we are ‘making it.’

 

This is about time to be willing to see how unsustainable it is to chase after our implanted dreams or actually be and become the living-dedication of ourselves to LIVE a life of actual enjoyment, which I have defined as a breathing-physically here point of awareness with regards to comfort-ability, and knowing that any justification for ‘how things are’ and believe there was something about us that was unable to be changed – well, it’s time to drive ourselves as consciousness down the road of self-introspection, self investigation leading toward self forgiveness, writing, developing self honesty and common sense to have a perspective of what is real and sound in our reality and who is not.

 

This will continue

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© 2013

182.Feeling-Good will Not Solve the Problems in this World

 

And this same point applies to whenever we talk ourselves ‘positively’ in our minds wanting to only focus on that which will take us ‘out of the dumpster’ of that initial negative reaction toward the realization of having Things-To-Do and creating  an entire act of mindfuckism in order to pretend that it can be done later, that it must be ‘pushed aside’ as it is probably just ‘not a good time now,’ or requiring certain conditions such as a particular scenario, a particular ‘moment of the day,’ weather conditions, even mood for that matter to do something – all of these conditions actually stemming from our limited configuration that we have created toward this physical reality relying on a positive and a negative in order to make decisions in our lives to do or not do things.

I walked the negative reactions in the blogs 174. Sinking in Reactions after Thinking and Not Doing and 176.Imagining the worst case scenario: Obstacles to Protect Self Interest wherein the immediate desire to go for the things that ‘I want to do’ manifest as a thought – such as going out for a walk for example or doing some other task that I prefer doing – and within that single allowance of dimensional shift from me first of all, going into the imagination, future projection and backchatting about the ‘negative’ and all the ‘bad things’ that may come from me doing this or not doing it, we then go into the positive to step out of all the uncomfortable experiences that manifest in a physical manner such as reacting in apathy and sinking in our own mind bubble in an apparent inability to write in that moment, without realizing that writing is just a process of placing the fingers on the keyboard, pressing them in order to make words and that’s it. Any other resistance to do it, we investigate ourselves in our minds and the relationship created toward that physical action based on memories, pictures, future projections, beliefs, all of them self-limitations that we have created based on what? Not having obtained a particular ‘desired outcome’ before in such activity – such as writing and getting a ‘desired result’ out of it – which becomes this belief that we are not ‘good enough’ or we ‘lack’ something in order to accomplish this particular task.

In this I’ll take an example of me working with tools and doing activities that I had defined and limited only to be done by a male, and not ‘any’ male, but specialized people in construction. So, when I was at the farm without a thought I said I would collaborate in building rooms – I could see the thoughts of me doing a job that ‘only males could do’ and that I should rather keep myself to a more ‘gentle work’ – however, I decided to equalize myself within the consideration obviously of what I was able to carry and do based on physical conditions, but I’m talking about using tools such as a drill or sawing machines that I had simply kept in an aura of ‘male work’ and would not get anywhere near by it. Once I simply Did it and physically learned how to operate the tools and machine, I got quite comfortable in working equally within that project, eventually enjoying the expansion of my physical abilities that I had tampered based on a single belief of ‘construction’ being a male-thing type of activity. And so within this single example I can have a reference for myself how typing/ writing cannot be any different to me having proven to myself how I am able to in fact do things when I have no judgment toward the activity in itself, or when I move through the initial judgment/ backchat and simply direct myself to physically do it. Within that action, I broke my own ‘commandment’ of a self-religious belief that I would never see myself working in construction – well, there you go: all it takes is one breath, one decision and it’s done.

So, this is how within any point of procrastination we have to actually see all the background we have formed toward the point we are holding ourselves back from doing and placing a parallel for ourselves such as me and construction and how I was able to move through the belief in one go – and transposing this same action to writing: what is preventing me to write this particular task/ document? And within that, we’ve been walking here so far all the thoughts, imaginations, fantasies, future play outs and the reactions toward such mental activity, which becomes the accumulated experience at a physical level of the participation within all those excuses and beliefs as ‘who I am toward this particular task/ assignment’ and as such, create my own jail nicely locked with beliefs and even hope to somehow not have to get it done.

Therefore, getting back to the point I’m going to discuss now is how from the moment I created a negative reaction toward these self-created beliefs of me not being good enough to do this writing, not being satisfying other’s requirements within this particular task, I submit myself to a negative reaction of apathy and pessimism wherein I simply get ‘stuck’ and not move – all of this discussed in the blogs 179. Apathy as result of High Expectations and 180. Half way done.

Thus, I go immediately seeking to create my positive experience by pushing aside the negative with something that I have programmed myself to react with joy and enthusiasm toward, which in such chases can be me going out for a walk or doing any other ‘task’ at hand that is in no way related to this particular writing/ document that must be done – I mean in terms of computer point, it’s not even that I simply decide to go ‘partying’ instead of working on the document, but a single avoidance of opening the file in the same computer that I will still continue to be working on.

Thus, within the enthusiasm I pull out toward going out for a walk – which is more noticeable as a reaction other than just ‘shifting’ from responsibilities in the computer – I generate this experience of expectation of being out, experiencing the wind, seeing the environment, people, going to get something that I like –e.g. going to the store to buy peanuts, fruits, vegetables or milk – and then having this cool experience of listening to Eqafe interviews on my way back and forth and it’s like the ‘Me’ time of the day, which as I have explained I had created into a religion which doesn’t have to be if I am able to balance my time throughout the day to get to ‘all responsibilities’ without having to now refrain from going out for a walk as that would be separation of course.

So – the positive experience exists as a something ‘better to do’ than the task that we Have to do but have attached to a negative experience wherein we then believe that us actually doing that task will be a ‘bad experience/ unpleasant experience’ which is nothing else but a self-created relationship based on an energetic experience that we have imposed onto a physical-action to do – here it is very clear the relationship between mind over matter and how we have conditioned/ limited and defined everything that we do based on How We Feel About it.

Thus within this reaction of and toward a positive experience when thinking of that other something else we have defined and programmed ourselves to react positively to – with enthusiasm, joy, relaxation etc.-  we backchat ourselves to eventually move ourselves to fulfill that positive experience, stepping over and deliberately neglecting that which we realized had to be done and instead, allow ourselves to be directed by energy as this ‘positive experience’ in order to make it ‘alright’ within ourselves to better do that which we feel ‘good’ about and leave that which we dislike – by self-deluded conclusion – to do it some other time, placing an undefined ‘time’ for it, which can extend for as long as we can continue holding on this diatribe within ourselves of realizing that there’s this ‘something’ as a task/ assignment/ project that must be completed but instead, talk ourselves out of it every single time with pulling out something ‘else’ to do as a ‘better experience.’

And this is how we manipulate our reality – we don’t require ‘super powers’ for it, just the belief that a feel good experience is actually ‘real’ in itself, when we are only making it real based on our own definitions and judgments added to an activity, a something or someone in our reality based on the experience that we created toward ‘them’ in fact, which is then not about the thing/ person or activity in itself, but how we have created a relationship toward that person/ reality/ activity as a feel-good experience within us. This is how it is not to blame for example the ‘walking outside’ in itself, but it’s about the relationship that I have created within my mind of that single physical action of walking outside – which is rather cool and beneficial at a physical level – and instead made it an entire action drenched in positive experience which serves My purpose and My demand for a positive experience every time that I step into the moment wherein I realize that I have a particular task that I have been procrastinating and is required to be done.

 

In this if we look at our entire world system that is not functioning properly as an equal point of benefit for all, instead of realizing that a solution is required in order to support all bodies of existence equally through redefining the means to acquire – money – no longer being a point of power/ positive energy in itself, but as a single rights document to have all the necessary points to live, we continue using the very representation of our decision to ‘opt for the good feeling’ remedy, which in this case is using money to have that which satisfies us which, even though we realize it is being a point of harm and abuse as the current relationship that such money represents within this physical reality is not of equality as in not everyone being given money to live, which means that it only serves a minority’s desires and living necessities. We are essentially using money to get trapped in the belief of ‘well being’ that is being provided by a tool that has become the very instrument of extortion and abuse in order to fulfill a minority’s positive experience such as having a fulfilling life which should Not be even defined as a ‘positive experience’ if we could simply remove the negative aspect created of such positivity by distributing money to all beings equally. This is how every time that I participate in a feel bad experience as ‘the negative,’ I am accepting and allowing the very existence of this world in its ‘negative aspect’ such as all the problems that ‘lacking money’ signify in this world that is created as consequential outflow from the desire to have a positive experience in life which is translated at all times to ‘having money’ to do so.

Therefore, from a greater perspective, would I have the ability to create a positive experience in my mind and actually have the means and opportunity to ‘play it out’ if I was a slave-worker in the Chinese Factories that manufacture high-tech devices that only a minority can acquire and have a positive experience with? Could I in such a position of being mostly in a ‘prison-factory’ be able to decide not to work that day? No, I would most likely be fired and or simply left to starve that day for not having ‘earned’ my money to sustain myself – and this is actually the reality that people are really going through on a daily basis. Now, this is something that places every minute bullshit excuse that I may have into perspective, as I see that the motivation for me to do any task at all times is to do and be and act and create everything required to manifest a world wherein people will no longer be striving to make a living or be high-on ‘positive experiences’ built, for example, with the slave-work badly paid to people that have no option but to work in such a compulsive manner in order to satisfy what should be given-unconditional support for them to LIVE a life and not just ‘strive’ to remain breathing and selling themselves a workforce that sustains someone else’s positive experience, which is us.

 

Thus the responsibility in all aspects and dimensions of ourselves are ‘in our hands’ obviously, us people that can have a computer to write and have an education and get prepared to create and manifest a world that is in fact just and supportive in all aspects wherein we won’t have to deceive ourselves with positive or negative energies as there will be no ‘balancing act’ to play out if everyone is equally supported, which will obviously transform the very way we ‘think’ our reality – hence the way we Live our reality.

This is a self-note then, every time that I indulge into a positive experience or a feel better, I am the very motor of this world that perpetuates someone else’s enslavement to a job that exists to sustain this ‘positive and progressive civilization’ and to realize that I am squandering an opportunity to stand up for life as well within this – because it is in the very decisions  we make throughout our day that we are able to make a change which is focusing on what we require to do, be and become to stand as an example of how it is possible to be self directive at a physical level, and no longer serve the mind of energy as all the positivity that we have indulged in and is no different to thinking ‘positive’ to solve the problems in this world. The moment we ‘act’ from and of positive thinking, we are supporting and recreating and manifesting the separation and absurd inequality in this world wherein I actually have the ability to ‘chose’ what to do while others are inevitably bound to doing one thing repeatedly for 18 hours a day to barely make a living – and I am not willing to remain as a part of this chain that bounds all equally to the same drain – hence the Importance of studying and supporting the implementation of the Equal Money System

 

Time to Wake up

This will continue within the procrastination character and the responsibility toward the physical reality as the consequences that I manifest within myself as the whole whenever I allow myself to not be consistent, constant and diligent in all aspects of my reality.

 

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Blogs:

Supportive series to understand how what we do / don’t do at an individual level affect the whole in actual physical reality:

 

Vlogs in response to a positive thinking promoter:

Matti
Sandy MacJones
Gabriel Zamora Moreno
Kim Kline
Maya Harel
Marlen Vargas Del Razo
Julieta Zochi

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