Tag Archives: feeling

396. I Think, therefore I Assume

ASSumptions and Self Trust

I realized how in one single moment where I trust my mind and assumptions made in my mind in one single moment of reaction where I jumped into conclusions,  ‘linking the dots’ to assume about another’s’ words/actions, I in that moment actually miss my point of self-trust and instead go into trusting my mind. How many times have I heard: do not trust your mind which means, to not trust any form of reaction, emotion, thought that I am not directly seeing for its full implication such as:

Who am I the moment that I am assuming this point about another? Who am I within ASSuming?

Because it’s really not about another here, it’s about myself being working in my mind in such assumption-mode which is something I had taken for granted actually so it is also cool that this point emerged in such a ‘straight’ manner, where I am able to actually see how I created a rift within a relationship, but more so within myself as in that moment I was not fully here considering all the implications of me thinking/assuming about others which is then part of how we concoct conflicts ‘about others’ but really is only a conflict I create in my mind based on also an accumulation of other assumptions that I also deemed as ‘unimportant,’ not considering the accumulation that takes place when I went assuming things and instead of confronting them with the person, the point then emerged as an automated assumption to fulfill my previous ideas/beliefs about what was going on with others’ lives.

This is also a very pertinent point as I could notice it created the kind of ‘hangover’ I hadn’t experienced in a long time, when you know that you did something that could have had further consequences that I didn’t measure when jumping into these series of thoughts and so, it is also to debunk the ‘perfect world’ that I also have in my head about my relationships with others, and to realize how careful and utmost attention I require to exist as in every moment to Not judge, not go into assumption, not ‘draw conclusions’ based on what I believe/think/perceive about others.

From making such mistake and going into feeling ‘bad’ or ‘guilty’ I would only trap myself in yet another emotion to cloud the actual point to learn here and to take self responsibility for, which is how to be able to stop assumptions that stem from a moment of ‘linking the dots’ according to what in I decided ‘made sense’ based on previous points where I also assumed points about another. So, if anything what I am here to develop is self-trust in a new dimension I hadn’t considered before: being able to trust myself to be Here as breath in every moment to be very aware of any minor reaction but mostly Assumption that’s the key word here as that’s where one draws conclusions without physical proof that things are the way I am ASSuming they are/happened.

 

 

assume
n    verb
1    accept as true without proof.
2    take (responsibility or control).
3    begin to have (a quality, appearance, or extent). Adopt falsely.

 

So there’s a few points to self-forgive here:

1. Not being here in the moment when I quickly jumped into conclusions and assuming something about others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assume which is to accept a thought, a reaction, an experience within me as ‘true’ and as such trust my thoughts, my reactions, my experience instead of being fully present here and able to assess every single thought that I accept and allow to exist within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make of ‘assumption’ which is a rather unfortunately common way to quickly draw conclusions and ‘make up my mind’ about something/someone without actually proving it myself, gathering the actual information, cross referencing it, communicating with the person or in the situation I am creating any form of assumption about and as such I realize that assuming is nothing else but a fancy way to name lying/lies wherein I accept myself to concoct and fabricate a lie to myself in order to prove other lies to me which I have also created/drawn about something/someone

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever FEEL certain about ‘my assumptions’ and within this not realizing that I am placing trust into my thoughts, my Feelings, my emotions, my mind instead of first actually Stopping and looking at what am I actually doing to myself when I assume or rather create/fabricate ideas/beliefs/perceptions about something/someone  which are in essence lies in order to prove a point that I have ‘assumed’ about something/someone – which doesn’t make sense as I am relying on a self-concocted lie to then make myself ‘right’ about what I had actually also created as a judgment, a belief, a perception about something or someone previously – which means: it was all a lie that I actually made myself believe as true without measuring the consequences of how I in fact was affecting my relationship with another without openly talking about it.

 

  • 2. Not realizing that it wasn’t about me ‘not trusting’ another but rather me trusting my mind and my assumptions based on what I also had been accumulating as other assumptions which I didn’t really confront and communicated directly with the person I was assuming things about – therefore missing out the essential point of living the word frankness and being direct when it comes to rather communicating about something instead of leaving points accumulate within me as Assumptions that I didn’t communicate, which then caused me to easily jump into conclusions based on previous moments where I also jumped into conclusions/assumed and thus considered that I could not trust someone any longer.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to jump into conclusions and assume about the reason behind another’s actions based on what I had also assumed about others’ lives/actions/words which implies that I had already allowed my self to be assuming/be lying to myself, be making up ideas and beliefs as to why something/someone exists/does something in a certain manner which actually can only point out to myself what actually still exists within me, which I covered up with the line ‘I don’t like being lied to’ and creating a reaction of ‘feeling cheated’ in that moment, but I didn’t even realize that it was all really me creating this all within me, not realizing I created the assumptions/the lies within me in that split second based on me accumulating previous assumptions that I hadn’t actually communicated and confronted which is why it was so easy for me to just continue the assumptions because I had done it in the past and ‘let it be’ without actually scrutinizing the point myself and being critical about what is it that I am actually accepting and allowing to exist within me – which is then entirely me assuming my responsibility to my mind/my thoughts/ my experience instead of diverting it toward another, which is the way to abdicate my own responsibility to my own thoughts in the first place.

 

I realize that in the past in relationships with people I have allowed myself to keep quiet in relationships which had already lead me to relationship failures, wherein the moment I don’t actually open up and confront the point with another which is what I would like others to do onto myself, I am actually being the starting point of my own self-agreement failure as I am not being entirely self-honest to myself to First even before confronting the ‘assumption’ with another, first question my own assumption, see where I am gathering the information from, what are my foundations for it, what is the proof that I have for what I am assuming first – so that I then first ensure that I am the one that takes self-responsibility for myself, my thoughts, my mind and once I have cleared myself from any reaction or lies/assumptions created about another, but instead realize that I do have some points to confront and reference with others, then I simply direct myself to communicate and open it up instead of allowing these points to accumulate and kind of go ‘rotting’ in the background as this is where and how then going into further assumptions, reactions becomes more automated based on the string-of-lies and assumptions about something/someone.

Therefore I commit myself to live myself first what I would like others to do onto me too, which is to be upfront, clear, frank, directive, transparent which are words I have to first and foremost not to ‘ask’ from others, but to live these words myself within my own self-relationship with in turn then will be my relationship toward any other individual as well as who I am.

 

Here is then where I take/assume absolute responsibility wherein instead of assuming /lying to myself, drawing conclusions, making up ‘my mind’ about something or someone, I rather live the word assumption as assuming/taking the responsibility to ensure that I am first here, stable within myself and as such ensure that every word that I am creating in my mind has a clear starting point and is entirely self-directive, as I see that an accumulation of lies which I allowed to exist within me as assumptions then become a more automated form of lying which I didn’t question within me first, and so then actually exists as a point of abuse toward others coming from me within creating an experience of distrust or assuming ‘I am being lied to’ without realizing that the actual lie, the actual problem exists within me as an assumption in itself where I lie to myself about what I believe/think/perceive about another which is actually entirely existent in my own mind –therefore

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in a form of righteousness whenever I had assumed things wherein I then trust my lies/my mind going into assumption about things/people without actually investigating the point for myself, without actually rather confronting any misunderstanding with another through communication as I see and realize that if I apparently ‘don’t like lies/don’t like to lie’ which is one of the points I have placed within me as ‘virtue’ – without seeing that in fact this is just another form of ‘honesty’ card as the ‘system honesty’ because I missed the actual SELF-Honesty which is first questioning the validity, the substance and how acceptable my own thoughts and reactions are in my own mind, which is the first point of self-honesty missed when believing that ‘I am being lied to’ as this thought already implies I am actually the one lying to myself by hearing/placing trust in a thought that I have created in absolute irresponsibility, which means I didn’t assume my responsibility upon my own thought-creation that lead to assumptions about something/someone.

 

 

  • 3. I haven’t realized that this is really not about being able to trust another, but rather how I didn’t live self-trust fully to instead of assuming/jumping into conclusions in My mind to instead rather communicate it, to create an agreement of communication which will ensure that any relationships with others will be then like a fish tank: fully visible as there is nothing to hide, no backchats created as that is what creates the fracturing of any relationship, and within my self-agreement I have committed myself to be able to have transparent, integral relationships with every individual, which means having no secrets, no hidden agendas toward one another, no judgment, no backchat, no emotion or assumptions about others.

 

Missed Breaths 08

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to actually realize that I cannot ‘lose trust on another’ as there is really no ‘another’ but myself that creates such distrust by trusting my own mind, my own assumptions, my own beliefs which I have righteously created upon not actually communicating and opening up points that I’ve looked at but didn’t communicate, which is how one goes festering ‘little points’ over time which become yet more lies and more ‘reasons’ to assume/believe things about myself/others which is entirely existent in my own mind and as such, it is myself that has to ensure that I can instead trust myself  – which means that

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that I cannot trust myself whenever I am assuming, whenever I am reacting, whenever I am creating doubt/uncertainty/reactions toward another which I am not directly referencing Within and for myself first to see the validity of my thoughts, my experiences and if I then have sufficient proof, reason, foundation for what I am considering is something to point out in a relationship with another, then I pull up my socks and confront the situation as I realize that it is actually quite dishonest to not open up points as they come up, as these points then go accumulating and creating further unspoken assumptions/reactions which certainly creates a rift within my self and from myself toward others, which is entirely unnecessary when we are in fact able to communicate and be open about any point or situation that I see emerged within me and so

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to eve fear confronting something or someone about my own assumptions which is rather a self-sabotage point because by confronting my own assumptions then the lies would be able to be spotted easier –but, the moment ‘I keep quiet’ that’s when the same pattern repeats: I don’t speak, further assumptions are created and so I create and give energy/attention to lies, to assumptions instead of immediately opening the point up and communicating about it.

 

Most importantly I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to live self-trust fully as I realize now how whenever I am assuming I cannot and I am not in fact living self-trust because I am thinking/assuming/linking dots based on what I read/ get to know or perceive which is entirely subjective and self-created upon premises that I have also defined in a certain manner so that it fits ‘my assumption’ which is then entirely self-deceptive first and foremost.

 

When and as I see myself jumping into conclusions, assuming what’s going on with something/someone I stop and I breathe, I ensure that I am back into physical reality and focus on myself, questioning what is it exactly that I am accepting and allowing to exist within me toward myself and toward others? And within this simply stop continuing assuming and instead, rather immediately referencing the point instead of allowing it to ‘pass’ because I see that allowing things to ‘pass’ it’s actually just an allowance of having points remain undirected, unsolved, which is another way of saying: I am not taking responsibility for my own reactions, assumptions beliefs about something/someone in one moment, which is what creates the problem in the first place: when I allow lies/assumptions to exist within me and go ‘unnoticed’ and neglecting the responsibility I have to every single thought, movement, experience that I have in my mind and that No thought, no reaction, no experience can be righteous or justified.

When and as I see myself once again ever going into the backchat ‘I don’t like being lied to’ – I stop and I breathe – And I bring myself HERE to realize that I am the one lying to myself first by being self-dishonest and being creating a reaction upon my own thoughts and so, instead focus on looking at the point objectively so that I can then see what do I need to cross reference in order to ensure I am not assuming, and so confront the point or situation in the moment.

I see and realize that I have to practice that ability to be more directive in the moment which means not allowing something to ‘go by’ and allow it to just ‘pass’ as this is me not taking responsibility for what I created in my mind.

 

Therefore I commit myself to actually develop first self-trust wherein I am able to ensure that every single thought I have I can be certain it is self-directive and that I am fully here as I utilize my mind constructively to direct myself, to clarify situations, to open up and cross-reference with others, as that is then the way wherein I can ensure that I can trust myself in relationship to others which means: I can trust myself that I won’t create lies/assumptions about something/someone – but instead focus on investigating, taking/assuming responsibility to myself, my mind, my reactions and so within this, it will invariably and by default will also be easier to confront/expose/open up a point with others as I am then having the openness lived by myself first, which is the self-agreement at all times, to not see ‘others’ as the problem but always self, always taking the point back to myself.

 

I commit myself to ensure that I remain clear and stable no matter what, no matter how even something that I believe is a problem exists in reality, as we do live in a reality where things are not ‘easy’ or ‘smooth ‘ or ‘without problems’ because this entire world, our relationships and our lack of self-responsibility to our own minds is what has created the nature of a problematic world – therefore, instead of seeing this as a ‘big point’ I realize that I have to instead use this as a flag point to become aware of any other moment where I see myself assuming things about something/someone, quiet myself in that moment and focus on MYSELF and stopping lying/ deceiving and being self-dishonest within me accepting and allowing such assumptions/backchat about something/someone and instead focus on seeing the point and then looking how I am going to direct it, assuming my responsibility to my words, my mind, my actions and inactions.

 

I commit myself to also not continue ‘bashing’ myself for committing this mistake of assuming a lot about something/someone as that guilt/remorse is only an experience that also prevent us from directly spotting the responsibility within it all, so I instead focus on my responsibility to every word, every reaction I create and rather focus on preventing/stopping any reaction from existing within me in any given moment wherein I observe something/someone and go into believing that ‘I know’ why something/someone happens/does something as this is entirely self-referential which means: it has nothing to do ‘with others’ but rather upon myself and what I do or don’t do.

 

 

Pointing back at me

 

Interviews:

 

To Develop Self-Honesty and Learn how to live a Self-Agreement to be able to Trust ourselves, investigate:

‘Reality-Insight and not Mind-feeling’

“All experience is always judgment” – Bernard Poolman

experience
n    noun
1    practical contact with and observation of facts or events.
2    knowledge or skill gained over time.
3    an event or activity which leaves a lasting impression.
n    verb encounter (an event or situation). Øfeel (an emotion).

 

If we understand that we are currently walking-experiences, we can see that everything that we go through is assessed by the mind as an experience – Life is Not an Experience yet we are currently walking as mind-created experiences wherein we can simply stop identifying ourselves as the feeling/emotion/judgmental experience and instead SEE through practical living-application how we can go living ourselves as a point of change – yes, it will still be a mind-perception of yourself yet it will be a more physical experience wherein no more backchat is directing the reality but simple physical living interaction – this is what we’re walking.

 

How we use the tools is to identify ourselves as the experience that we’ve become of thoughts, emotions and feelings and as we go stopping we will still experience ourselves in a certain manner as we are currently existing as mind consciousness systems that assess and value everything according to one’s established parameters – we’re establishing parameters that are aligned with what’s best for all in common sense which certainly creates a guideline of how we are able to practically physically live and still experience ourselves yet not clogged and stuffed with emotions and feelings and useless thoughts, but instead allow ourselves to stand equal to the mind to direct ourselves. That’s what’s here as ourselves hence we direct us to the best possible outcome that’s livable/ walkable in this reality through direct realization of it being in fact so.

 

This is how we realize that all knowledge must go, that all past perceptions as experiences of ‘who we are’ must be self forgiven and let go of because all of them are holds that keep the system in place – we are the system and unless we stop feeding the same constructs and walking in absolute directive principle, we’ll re-create the same patterns over and over again which is in essence recreating the past of self-enslavement with no self-direction consideration.

 

 

“the price that must be paid for our blindness due to experiences” – Bernard Poolman

We’ve disregarded life while wallowing in our mental diseases that we’ve accepted as ‘human nature’ as ‘our life experience’ – this is only one of the reasons why giving up the mind is giving up the actual harm and abuse imposed on to life – it’s only fair that we’ve got to walk now from the consequences of such continued disregard to what is here as ourselves while existing as the helmets on the head.

 

It’s clear that the physical body doesn’t ‘experience’ knowledge or values/ judgments upon comparison, worth imposed over things and people – all of that is but mind-creations, huminds creations that we’ve accepted and allowed ourselves to wallow in. The physical just IS:

“The physical -has no agenda, need to know nothing, is already in full design, and live as it breathes, as it eats, as it fucks, as it touch. The mind – has judgments, reasons, meanings, laws about everything -without actually understanding anything.” – Bernard Poolman

So physical-experience is still an experience yet has nothing to do with the mental schemes of values/worth/judgments that we impose on to that which functions as a vital system – the physical is a vital system that doesn’t require us to ‘think’ to function – example is how body digests and absorbs nutrients without us having to direct a single thing of that process, we’re not even aware of how it all takes place, that’s proof of how detached we are of our own physical body.

 

“mathematics shows that if one follow common sense and NOT experience–we can change the world”
– Bernard Poolman

So, in terms of participation in reality, we’ve got to stick to the physical cross-reference of ourselves, to remain here as breath to simply stop feeding our ‘life as an experience’ and simply walk here with the necessary points to be done.

 

We’ve discussed how the mind-experience is still overriding common sense living which is the physical living wherein everything is ‘there’ for all to see. An experience is only experienced by each one, it’s ‘invisible’, it takes place in the mind of each one – that’s how we’ve lived as separate bubbles as our thoughts, just this globe on our heads that no one sees yet we know ‘it’s there’, creating an alternate experience of what’s Here as our physical body that lives, that exists in simplicity.

 

“when you die–the experience abruptly ends” – BP

So, the point to realize here is that we cannot just stop ourselves being an experience as that would imply we’d have to die – as the above quote presents – so what’s practical here to do? We simply direct ourselves to be living here as the physical, to breathe in and out to literally heal ourselves from all the damage we’ve done to this world, to ourselves as our physical body poisoned by all our mind back-chatter. It is insane that we’ve lived as constant self-abuse machines without ever even pondering if that was ‘natural’ to do – yes, our “human nature” is severely fucked up and not at all in harmony with the physical.

 

Human nature as experience

We can then see how it’s been a HUGE Lie from our world system to identify that the glorious thing about humanity was to possess a mind to think, feel, experience, etc – that is the very thing that allowed us to get into our EGO of the mind and thus possess this world through the marvelous Machiavellic existence as Egos that want to conquer and dominate everything and everyone.

Is that what we want to remain like?

No, absolutely not.

 

So, hereby I express how I am not willing to second the mind in its own glorification, survival and regurgitation – that has simply created hell on Earth and I’d like to quote Bernard once more because these words must be heard everywhere possible:

 

“Ego is the acceptance as self as superior to others in truth and thus the allowance of chaos to find an angle with which to screw all competition till only the ego version of truth remains — then the ego were right and for this, the ego will destroy the planet” – Bernard Poolman

 

We’re walking as all of these points, we are supporting ourselves to become effective in simply stopping ourselves from living as walking-experience and instead get us into a living-physical reality wherein no backchatter exist as directive principle and prime influence over ourselves dictating our experience as ‘who we are’.

We are experiences walking into the living reality – and this is how we’ll continue walking because we see, realize and understand how the humind motivated by internal back-chat has created the current system to be of such abusive and unequal nature, we have seen how the humind in search for new experiences has lead this entire world to the brink of destruction while trying to ‘experience more’ and ‘get more’ which has become the drive for all human action.

 

So from here one when we share ourselves, we’ve got to make sure that we speak from direct-seeing here as part of our physical amalgamation to the reality that is HERE physical and not only sharing the reaction that is mostly emotional/feeling based according to past-patterns that exist as the mind –  as Sunette pointed out

‘Reality-Insight and not Mind-feeling’

 

When we are existing in our mind we are only caring for our personal fulfillment of the idea that we’ve become, we don’t consider the totality of reality that is here as ourselves. By exerting a single opinion or judgment upon this world, we are in fact supporting the existence of such judgment as part of the reality we live in. We’ve become so used to criticize and point-fingers at ‘others’ instead of actually simply dedicating ourselves to STOP from remaining as complaining systems instead of being in fact the solution to all this humind distortion of reality: stopping ourselves from participating in thoughts, feelings, emotions = stopping existing as the mind and start living as the physical.

 

We’ve got to stop living as the Illusion – the ill-uses we’ve placed as value/worth on to what is simply here – it is a constant addiction to seek experiences in everything, everyone out of virtually anything – even if it’s something as simple as going out we tend to seek to have an experience out of it, out of watching nature, sometimes even creating a mental experience of breathing ! lol that’s in essence how meditation works, quite a mental job indeed.

 

So, we’re all here learning how to actually in-fact live, this is the process – we’re all in this together at the same level and so we simply are here to walk and live and share and support ourselves within it.

This is where we’re currently at walking as a group of people that are willing themselves to live and let go/stop/terminate all the illusion of this world – that’ll in essence will eventually expand to changing the current world system as part of this realization on physical-tangible living wherein no more super imposed caps exist on life.

 

No more mental-limitations to what is HERE as Life.

 

Let’s continue breath-walking


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