Tag Archives: feelings

408. Taking it All Back to Self-Responsibility

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A deeply ingrained pattern within me was to see everyone and everything else as the source of my dissatisfaction, my anger, my sadness, my despair and general experience of being vexed just about everything in my world. I actually saw this world as not good enough ‘for me’ instead of ever pondering whether I was ‘making it a better place’ with existing in such constant state of complain and blame toward ‘people of this world’  which is like a constant state of ‘being against world,’ which I used as an excuse to relate to as little people as possible, being rather anti-social and the people that I would gather with, would have a similar bashing toward ‘the system’ as myself and similar preferences when it comes to art or music that would usually create a ‘window’ to just escape the reality that I would define in all derogatory manners I could. I even got fed up with having to live every single day and go through the same routine ‘For what? To make the world a shittier place than it is? To waste more water, food, to eat more animals, to trash the Earth more?’ Was the usual backchat… and still at times something that I have to direct within myself in Self-Responsibility. 

So I actually was what could be deemed as a generally angry person when it comes to ‘life’ in general, which I would then experience as ‘being fed up’ with the world, being against everyone, believing the only thing I could do to ‘make things better’ was criticizing the world system and individuals that I believed were ‘dishonest’ and ‘corrupt’ and sort of like the ‘scum of the Earth’ when it comes to political figures or just about any person that held any form of influential position in my reality. So within this all. In my ignorance then, I believed that I was ‘dignifying’ myself by ‘not falling for the crap in this world’ and that I was holding some kind of self-respect by pointing out the flaws I could count on everything and everyone else – but myself, of course. See, the biggest realization I had to face within this process is that of seeing how in apparently ‘spiting the world,’ I was in fact  spiting myself only, as I am the only one that would constantly create and harbor such anger, criticism, antagonism, the sense of being wronged, limited and enslaved ‘by others’ and having been oppressed for a long time, which at the time I simply saw it as part of ‘my generation,’ never realizing it is actually the nature of who we have become  in fact as human beings throughout time: always blaming others for how we feel, how we live and never ever look within oneself to consider: Ah, yes, it was always me that was creating this experience within me and so projecting it all as ‘my reality’ and actually creating this world and reality based on how I think, feel and perceive myself and everything/everyone in this world, which I never really realized: it’s myself.

 

 ‘But I do nothing wrong! I’m a good person! I wish good for the world! I fight for good causes! I AM a good human being, I am Not the problem, look at what everyone else does! THEY are the problem!’ This exemplifies the kind of stance that I would hold myself in, being on my ‘high horse’ of being an ethical and principled human being that never dared to question whether my pointing fingers at others as ‘those to blame’ was in fact in any way supportive for this world and this reality to change. Of course it wasn’t, and it never will.

 

The principle of self-responsibility implies what I’d like to call the Golden Rule of ‘Taking it Back to Self,’  which is a continuous point of reference that I direct myself to consider whenever I am seeing something in my reality that I would like to blame others for.

 

 

Example:  Today the city was chaotic when it comes to traffic.  There were several protests because of some anti-pollution system that is now asking people that have older car models to not circulate during Saturdays. Of course the people that own old cars and trucks complained the most since they are the ones that need to use the car as a matter of necessity for their work. Say you have to deliver fresh meat, vegetables to your business and travel from the central distributor to run your own business on a daily basis  and because you earn very little money and barely ‘make it’ you cannot afford to buy a new truck, so you have a +15 year old truck and now government rule says: you can’t drive on Saturdays – and you can’t even ask your neighbors or else as they are most likely also in similar situation. Well, what do people resort to: protesting on the streets, and so this is what happened. It’s interesting how for the moment I only focused on how I was being affected by it, then how others were being affected by the traffic and then judging the protest as ‘useless’ – only then was I able to realize that I didn’t know the cause of the protest so I then realized I had to inform myself about it.

What did I do? Well,  I had to walk a lot to get around, and initially I did let out some F words only to realize I was just playing the ‘angry person that has no context of why things are happening that way.’ So as I researched and placed myself in the shoes of others, I understood their discontent however it is also a paradox since the kilometers of cars that were on ‘stand by’ on the streets today most likely created more pollution than the old-model trucks that won’t circulate on Saturdays. Well, paradox is our last name on this Earth too. So instead of me getting angry at the government, getting angry at the protestors, getting angry at the packed train and ‘angry at the world’ for being so un-common sensical, I simply walked the situation ensuring I kept myself breathing, focusing instead on the actual walking, the routes and breathing, not getting disgusted with the car fumes which is another point to work with when walking past lines and lines of cars and trucks in stand by in what seemed like perpetual traffic. I actually placed myself in the shoes of the people stagnant in their cars and pondered how desperate they must be, not being able to even ‘turn around’ and leave the chaos, it was everywhere, which was again just a projection of how I have experienced myself in the past in such traffic jams inside a bus or car.

 What to do in such cases? Sit down and cry, yell? Scream? Curse at the government and environmental department for such measures? No, I instead understood the consequences we have created overall and how I could do nothing else but not participate in any form of reaction toward the situation. Instead I used the opportunity to strike a conversation with another person about the situation and realizing how others are less apprehensive than myself, so, I simply did what I had to do and got home safely. So, from an entire point that I could have turned into just another excuse to ‘blame the government’ or ‘blame the people’ or ‘hate the world’ I took responsibility for stopping my own reactions, seeing the ‘bigger picture’ and formulating plan B’s for transportation as a short-term solution and plan of action. In the long run and as a world-system solution, I support, plan and contribute the creation of a world-system where each one of us can be self-responsible and always consider what is best for all, so that these pollution measures are not a consequence of interests in running 20th century technology for over 60 years causing the environmental problems we have today, while technology could have been made available for everyone to run cars on other means other than petrol and so, prevent this kind of ‘bans’ and limiting people’s mobility. This is common sense and common sense is what must reign in our world: it begins within us, seeing, scheming and focusing on the solutions rather than complaining about the problems and the causes thereof.

 

What does Self-Responsibility in this example imply? It is about realizing that whatever I point out in another as a form of judgment or blame for how I experience and making them the ‘culprits’ of ‘my suffering’ is just the finest way to evade taking responsibility for what I experience, for what I generate in my mind and physical body that I then project onto others as if ‘my mind/my thoughts/my experience’ could change the situation – be it emotions, feelings, internal conversations, beliefs, assumptions – oh yes assumptions – still working on that for sure. So, in this case I rather made the best of the situation by ‘enjoying’ the walking and the challenges to create the best route for walking in a safe environment/more crowded and aiming at fulfilling the timeframe I had in order to arrive on time to my responsibilities. And that’s it; I made it and even enjoyed the bit chit-chat with another person while crammed in the train which is a seemingly ‘unimportant’ thing but it can create a sense of realization that we are all in this, we can discuss it and instead of complaining rather understanding it. Was I able to stop my own experiences successfully? I can say I did, even if in the beginning as I was walking past the protestors I could see myself being with an angry face and giving some f words to the air only to quickly realize my little tantrum and so eased the point after a minute and instead I directed my focus and attention on the actual walking I required to do to get to my destination – and so I did.

 

 

 

What I explained is one example where probably being in the same situation in the past I would use these moments as an excuse to rehash my anger at government, system, etc. and this is in fact one of the most prominent points of blame and anger that I’ve existed as toward ‘others’ which is in essence the opposite of taking self-responsibility for myself.  My specialty when it comes to blame and pointing fingers: The elite of this world and specifically catholic church.  I saw them all as ‘THE Culprits’ and the ones to blame for everything that is wrong in this world, even if was less aware of how the system really operates back then, I called it irrational anger which implies I don’t know all the reasons why, but now I see that acting in the mind is irrational: it creates only a sense of ‘righteousness’ without providing any solutions = it’s all a mind job.

I used to spend many hours criticizing the system in chats with friends and believing that I had the write to damn another with words and thoughts and believing that we had the answer to it all, that only ‘my way’ of seeing things was the right one. It becomes even another way to socialize, to create a sentiment of ‘union’ with others when we calumniate about others in positions of power, judging the corruption and ultimately getting nothing sorted out or ‘done’ but only getting angry and laughing it out as if our political assessments and dissent about ‘those in power’ would place us in a more ‘powerful’ position, the ability to bash another in one’s mind as a form of ‘spell’ that could ‘make them pay’ for what we believed was being done onto us and never really pondering ‘well, how am I participating in all of this?’ And this also comes with the excuse of ‘I was born into this’ or ‘I didn’t choose to into this world, my parents did’ or some other responsibility-dodging ‘memes’ that I can even point out from popular songs.

 

All of this was debunked when I came to realize the design of this reality and how the ‘bad guys’ were nothing else and nothing more than also a part of self, self as the whole, as the totality that exists here that is myself too, and that even if there was a god/creator or designer/architect, even if there are elites and bloodlines that had taken care of implementing the essential forms of control, guess what? They are also parts of myself that had been designed and taken such positions to perpetuate and install such forms of control which in turn have been accepted and allowed by each one of ourselves too. In other words: we were/are and have been all equally enslaved by the roles we have played all along throughout our ‘history’ or existence, fooled by the illusion of separation, of having ‘nothing to do’ with all the ‘evil’ in this world and believing myself to not be corrupted by the same mentality I judged those in power to have – but what I never really did was placing myself in their shoes, living their exact same life, their education/indoctrination, their own set-up to believe themselves to have such ability to have power and use it for their own benefit,  maybe even tricked by others within the idea of it being for a good cause too. Who knows? I can now say that whenever I actually place myself in the position of a person born in a golden crib and being essentially trained/educated to perform some kind of managerial/leadership task in this world to create more wealth or perpetuate some bloodline position, I can see how I would have probably done the exact same decisions we see many people ‘in power’ do, as I would then be completely enclosed into that mentality, unable to see beyond my own perception of ‘my task/duty’ in the world or using some ‘ability’ to get the most if such ability and high-end reality was everything I would have ever known ‘reality’ to be. 

Why haven’t we then realized the principle of considering one’s own responsibility? Because this would actually cease the problems, the friction and conflict within ourselves and within this world, which would expose the world-system we’ve created as our image and likeness of ‘divide and conquer’ where we fight within ourselves, apparently ‘fight against the world’ and so creating the concrete jungles we live in where ‘everyone and everything is wrong but myself.’

We coexist in a reality wherein we have all become very personally identified with the roles that we play, we have come to believe ourselves to be our professions, our money, our ownerships, our relationships, our appearance, our qualities and skills and everything that we have defined as ‘who I am’ which in a way it is as the potentials and points to align within self – but at a greater scale, we are only playing our ‘role’ in the play, wherein I’ve realized that what we have to stop from here on is precisely getting lost in the game, getting lost in character and forgetting the greater picture we’re walking here.  There’s so many petty and trivial things we start fighting each other for, blaming, pointing fingers, backchatting, cursing at and essentially always seeing another as ‘the problem’ for MY will /wellbeing to be fulfilled. And this is where we bit the apple and so now face the consequences.

 

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Why? The apple is the knowledge and information, the code of consciousness that we have integrated as ‘who we are’ – which is what we define as our egos: what we like, dislike, judge, blame, love, believe on, feel threatened by/fear, reject, accept, etc. All of this is based on the personalities we become. So what happens is that in this world and reality we are all born into various positions that certainly entail no ‘equality’ when it comes to the role in the play/game we are in. We have created this reality in the image and likeness of our own friction and conflict in the mind: we constantly believe we have to justify ourselves, to defend ourselves, to win the game, to trump others, to spite back, to fear, to secure something, etc. And this is in turn what we believe is caused ‘by others’ or ‘by the world’ within self, when in fact all that matters here is realizing that: we do this to ourselves, we cause these experiences within us and as such it is NOT about ‘them,’ it is about what I accept and allow to exist within myself.

 

A point I’ve worked with another person that also walks this process is taking self-responsibility for one’s reactions even when having faced a point of direct physical abuse. To learn how to take self-responsibility and to SELF-Forgive the creation of blame, resentment, holding a grudge toward another that is perceived as the ‘wrong doer’ entails an actual understanding of what led to such point of abuse, how do we all collectively create such point of abuse, how not to take personally the point of abuse and how to actually focus on self-forgiving the experiencing within self toward another and so realizing that the most harm done toward self is the recreation of blame, spite, resentment toward ‘the other’ as such experiences are always created within self, and self’s body and mind are the ones that actually end up being more affected throughout time than the actual point of abuse itself. This is then a clear example how Self-Responsibility goes hand in hand with Self-Forgiveness, because there is a realization of What I have done to MYSELF based on what I believed was a way to regain some sense of honor or respect, by spiting/being disgusted at/blaming/being angry at others that created a point of abuse ‘toward me’ – but in fact, once one starts exploring ‘abuse’ in itself, we can only come to the conclusion that all abuse is always self-abuse and that one cannot really ‘get away with murder’ in this existence, it might seem like it temporarily – but no one is at the moment ‘absolved’ from having to go through a Life Review wherein in this world or after death we get to face all points that we had left behind and that we believed we didn’t have to face again. Well, nothing really ‘washes away’ in this reality and that’s where Accountability exists along with Self-Responsibility.

 

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So once that I realize that everything I have experienced is My creation only, and that the ‘way of the world’ is nothing else but OUR ways in which we haven’t learned how to create a world that’s best for all, blaming, calling others names, getting angry at others, seeing myself as the ‘right’ one or any other delusion is then realized As the delusion, the actual point of irresponsibility that I play out just to ignore and deliberately abdicate my responsibility which is toward myself first and foremost so that I can then also see what I create in my world based on my own experiences. I am one point stopping, but what would happen if we all collectively understood this point, got out of the ‘angry/blameful character’ and start taking self-responsibility for what goes on within and without of ourselves?

 

I was talking to another today and it’s cool to get to see these points while walking this process as well, where a huge point of self-responsibility resides in the words we speak and understanding the ‘nature’ of the word that we speak and what we make of our reality with/through them. Being self-responsible implies realizing that whatever I  do/think/say creates a consequence, and so I ensure that I am able to Respond to such consequences, that I can effectively direct myself and others within such outflows and consequences as ‘they’ are in fact myself. So it is about self-direction where within common sense I stop creating the illusion of separation, the illusion of ‘others’ and start realizing that as I direct myself in consideration of what I act/do or don’t do in consideration of what is best for all as the principle that I live by as life in equality, being one and equal in fact, then I in fact start taking responsibility for myself and my creation/my reality as myself which includes others.

 

Sounds like a big task, but it isn’t when we begin with ourselves and so doing it to the point where the ways in which we recognize ‘the world system works’ are in fact patterns that exist within each one of us at a mind level, as our ‘ego’ that becomes them some kind of concept, idea, or system we enslave/limit each other with. This is how we cannot only say that ‘it is THEM’ doing it to ME’ because: it takes two to tango. The puppeteer cannot exist without the one that poses as puppet.

 

 

 

Many times I saw myself damning people, specifically people in power, people at heads of church or even some priests at my school. I wanted to blame them for perpetuating the lies, the corruption, the scams, the degradation of life to a profitable scheme where good ‘neutral’ images could sell education and promote ‘the word of god’ while doing the exact opposite to any of the principles ‘they’ were supposed to have vowed to. Well, if anything: aren’t we all doing the same thing? Aren’t we all living these lives where we all try and put our nicest image and idea of ourselves to hide everything that we know in fact exists as a threat to everyone’s well-being?  In my case I for sure spent a great amount of time polishing an image, an idea of myself, how I was going to achieve my aims which were all mostly based on personal power such as getting into some kind of ‘mainstream’ position that I would so openly criticized, but be able to position myself on the ‘left’ side of it, being the famous and popular opposition so that I could also make quite a big buck by writing and theorizing about dialectics, revolutions and how awfully wrong everything was in this world, seeking ‘justice’ through punishing those ‘at the top’ or any other form of diversion from Self-Responsibility, which is what’s broadly promoted in this world as ‘activism’ or ‘political commentator’ etc. An example: what has Assange, Snowden or some Russell Brand have done to promote self-responsibility? Anyone? Anything? No, hence I don’t buy any of the ‘roles’ they suppose in the system and even if they were ‘for real,’ I still get no life changing realization from what they revealed or say or are paid to say to perpetuate the idea of change through ‘revolutions’ and so forth. Well, this is an example of why Self-Responsibility isn’t being promoted on your TV as ‘Revolution,’ and this is why I consider it of utmost importance to stop seeking for culprits, to stop seeing ‘the elite’ as the problem, to stop seeking any form of revenge but instead, to start focusing on what I can do/ what I can direct, where and how can I stop the same patterns from reoccurring within myself.

 

Well I was on my way to become that, always complaining, always blaming, always getting angry, frustrated only to then seek to get ‘lost’ for a while so that I would not have to think further about why everything seemed so wrong in this world. Well, I missed the point all along: myself. I was the one perpetuating this internal war. Let’s look at it this way:  was I ever in fact talking to these people I blamed for ‘all the bad things in the world’ to actually dis-cuss the points I saw in them? No. Was I ever in fact looking at the structural problem, investigating the root and the cause of it and seeing how we are all co-participants in it? No. Was I ever genuinely intending to become part of the system then to be a participant that would direct things with common sense and self-responsibility from within the system? No, I did the opposite in fact until I also got sick and tired of being bitter and angry at the world. By my inherent desire to find some other ‘answer to life’ I discovered Desteni and started my process of Taking Self Responsibility, and I must say that this point of seeing myself as the point that has created such inner war was a hard one for me to grasp, just because of how much I had defined myself according to my own victimization, my own so-called ‘oppression’ and being ‘wronged’ by others –  but at the same time, it became the most humbling as well which I continue to be grateful for so that I can as I did today realize my ‘tantrum’ and ‘b-lameful character’ I become when blaming others for ‘things going wrong.’

 

Another example: when I think of ‘people in power’ I see nothing else but players within the same game I have also been an equal participant in. I don’t ‘feel’ hatred or anger as I used to and I probably have taken for granted such a change within me. I still have to work on myself on remaining stable and self-responsible when witnessing some kind of physical abuse in front of me or in my environment – and in this realizing that there is abuse going on in this world every single second and that if I was aware of it in fact as what’s going on within self, then I would never cease to be angry or about to explode for each point of abuse. I’ve realized my emotions do Nothing to solve the problem, but only perpetuate it. An example, I have walked a process of self-forgiveness about hatred to the church because I harbored so much hatred that it became something irrational, something I would just recreate even by passing by every church and till this day it is  something to still remind myself it’s just bricks and stones and not to judge the people in it or the priests at the top: we have all co-created this so I take responsibility for myself and ensure I do not perpetuate the separation through reacting emotionally about something or someone.  

I could not get the image of the inquisition instruments of torture out of my head for a long time and I could not fathom how such evil could exist within humans, and how ‘evil’ they must have been to do that to another human being… little did I know about the actuality of our nature, which has never been something nice or benevolent and how this is in fact not something I like to repeat to myself to ‘punish me’ or ‘blame me’ – not at all, it is about an understanding, it is about a ‘greater truth’ as the evidence of what is here that has enabled me to make sense of everything that I saw as the utmost horror and evil in this world, it allowed me to face myself, the nature of self. Till this day, hearing about the most atrocious forms of torture, imprisonment, abuse and decay is a test for me to not blame, to not go into anger, to remind myself that this Is the abuse that I am also a part of by virtue of being in this world and that by me creating an emotion about it, I am in fact not supporting anyone or anything to realize our responsibility within it all, to understand how we’ve come to create the results we have today in our reality and to be able to forgive ourselves for we didn’t know what the hell we were doing to ourselves/each other/self all along.

Another aspect that I support myself with is realizing that I would have probably done the exact same thing that ‘the most evil people’ in the world have done if I had been born in their shoes, lived their lives, walked their education or the lack thereof, the abuses onto them and so realize that the evil in this world is nothing else but the result of a multi-generational process of abuse toward each other, in absolute separation and ignoring the fact that any abuse imposed onto another: is abuse imposed onto self.

 

 

This is how when investigating and understanding more about the reality we live in, and whenever I see myself wanting to go into victimization, it is a point to remind myself that there I am wanting to throw my hands up in the air and believe I am powerless to do anything. Those are the moments to really not allow myself to even create one further thought of judgment toward others based on what I believe/know or assume they have done wrong or any ‘evil’ doing, and wanting to blame them for the state of affairs in this world. In fact I feel nothing these days toward ‘them’ but mostly it  all comes back as the realization of all the work that we must get done if we want to in fact be genuinely experience the potential that we are as life, which has been constantly obliterated every time that we only sought our personal glory, power and benefit.

 

So this point of self-responsibility in the form of the golden rule as Taking it all Back to Self is one of the most useful reminders in my process. With it I prevent myself from seeing others as the cause of ANY experience within myself, no matter how much I can see them as the culprits, the wrong doers, the evil ones etc.: by virtue of existing in this same planet, by virtue of being a human being, by virtue of me being able to point out what’s wrong = I am an equal participant and as such, I have to stop creating further experiences toward ‘them,’ I have to stop expecting others to change so that I can change, I have to stop believing that ‘they are doing this to me’ –  I stop myself from going into blame or holding a grudge against others, harboring hatred or plain rejection toward others as I see and realize that those emotions and experiences are only my own and I am not doing anything in fact to solve the problem and situation by getting angry.

 

Have I fully changed this at a personal level? Not to the absolute. I still get mad at times when I perceive people are being abusive, irresponsible or careless , mostly in my environment, things I can see around me which is then also according to what I am aware of. In this I commit myself to be diligently self-aware to ensure I do not allow myself to justify my reactions toward something/someone and instead ensure that I take absolute self-responsibility for myself, prevent my own reactions as I see and realize that any experience I create toward another is in fact anger toward myself for what I am accepting and allowing to exist within/as me, and that these emotions will get me nowhere, so I rather focus on being able to live here, in the physical stability of myself as breath and instead become an actual living example of what it means to live self-responsibility in this world, our creation and reality.  

 

5.       Living the principle of Self Responsibility – realizing only I am responsible for what I accept and allow inside of me, my relationships and my outside world and so with this responsibility: only I have the power and ability to change that which I see is compromising who I am, what I live and how this affects others

 

 

To learn more about Self-Responsibility and the golden rule of ‘Taking it All Back to Self’

 

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    390. Making Decisions Based on Feelings, Not Facts

     

    Continuing from:

    Quote from “The Love/Hate Relationship with Art” entry: The point is I tried to make My definition of Art fit with what would enable me to use it to demonstrate that it is possible to change the world. However I realized that no matter how many images I make, how many pictures I take, how many great ideas I would have I was entirely mostly having an imaginative outflow of how this could operate without ever really landing it into any serious/real project. I always kept everything at a low-fi level because right after the first year in Art school, I discovered Desteni and my interests veered dramatically – hence the ‘shutting down’ of any pursue to further my career to make a name of myself etc..

     

    Patterns:

    1. The idea of Art as an instrument to “Change the World.” Suiting something according to my interests, to justify my ends in order to cover up another self-definition I am wanting to hold on to – in this case wanting to make the definition of art suit my current interests so that I’m able to say that ‘I’m still doing a form of art, even if it’s not conventional,’ without realizing that it’s merely a definition in itself and that as such, I have to stop making this definition suit my interest around art, and merely see the actions/deeds for what they are and imply.

    2. Expecting something to ‘happen to me’, someone to ‘save me,’ someone to ‘find me’ instead of me moving myself in order to make things happen, to become my own directive principle instead of hoping, waiting or fantasizing about the things that can happen ‘in the future.’

    3. The idea that something outside of myself can ‘change the world’ in itself, in this case that I could ‘change the world’ through creating art, or that art should be used to demonstrate that we can change the world, when in fact this is once again delegating to something/someone the ability to change, without realizing that there can be many catalysts for change, practical presentations for it – but it will only ever work if we implement it, integrate it, live it and become it ourselves and by ‘change’ I mean becoming an individual that takes responsibility for our creation, that learn how to coexist with everyone else as equals and as such participates to create a world where everyone is supported to live in dignity. Where does that begin? Within self only. A system, a structure can support and promote the change, but it is about each one of us integrating such change within ourselves to make it real. Therefore ‘art’ in itself cannot change the world, only we can one by one.

    4. Giving up on something based on seeing ‘no result’ in a short period of time, without taking into consideration that everything in this world and reality requires actual work, time, dedication, constancy and consistency as well as patience to have something be developed in order to give fruition. So giving up on something/someone based on not getting any ‘quick results’ is rather a mechanism of self-sabotage where I am expecting things to work ‘instantaneously’ instead of considering a plan, a structure, the practical steps and timeframes, methods and ways to make something function/work to give the expected results. This means: no wishful thinking.

    5. Blaming something/someone for sidetracking from my initial purposes, I have realized how we usually blame something/someone in order to not recognize our sole responsibility to our decisions, words, thoughts and deeds.

    6. Making decisions in my life based on emotions and feelings, wishful thinking, desires and fantasies –  mostly going for what ‘feels good’ and avoiding what according to my ego/personalities felt ‘not right’/ ‘not good’ – instead of considering the actual physical space-time planning, structure, steps, time and consequences of the decisions

     

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    Self Forgiveness on these patterns:

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to shape a definition of ‘art’ that would suit my personal interests of wanting it to be the ‘tool to change the world’ without realizing that in this equation I was separating myself from such change and only considering that ‘art’ had to be that ‘for me,’ and because I didn’t see results this way in the short-run then I gave it up completely, without realizing that this is a usual pattern wherein I expect things to ‘do something for me’ instead of me being the directive principle within everything that I do – as such it makes sense that a single image, or drawing or video or else can do the ‘change’ process in itself, and as such it is only a tool that can support with the realization and recognition of change that I have to still conduct, apply, live within myself as everyone else as well.

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold on to this definition of art as the quote by Ernst Fischer that also later on I had a ‘fuck it they’ve done it all first’ moment when seeing that in the beginning of the Zeitgeist movie they used this quote that I was cherishing as ‘the foundation’ for my ‘art project’ in itself which is the quote from his book ‘The Necessity of Art’

    “In a decaying society, art, if it is truthful, must also reflect decay. And unless it wants to break faith with its social function, art must show the world as changeable. And help to change it”

    And with this, believe that I had to always s stick to these definitions, quotes and theories to justify what I wanted to do with my life as an ‘agent of social change’ and still ‘stick’ to my career, just because of the fear of being seen as a ‘dropout’ or someone that didn’t follow-through with art-creation, which is all based on the beliefs and expectations that I believed people had created upon me, because the career is definitely one that I chose for social-recognition upon something that I considered I was ‘special’ within – therefore the whole conflict of having to justify what I do within an artistic context, without realizing that if we look at it beyond definitions, the process of change and being the example of what it means to change is what I am doing and what I’ve decided to do with my life in function of creating a better world, to establish living principles of creation where there exist barely non at the moment, and as such once again using ‘artistic creations’ and creativity as tools with which to do this, without forgetting that I do not require to justify what I do within an artistic concept for the sake of ‘sticking to my career-choice’ as an idea of ‘who I am.’

    I realize that instead I can share how I can apply these principles to what I do/ who I am and the practical ways in which I’ve realized we can conduct this change in our decaying society – whoever I commit myself to no longer wanting to justify what I do within this imperative need to make of my life and my decisions as ‘still’ artistic or part of my career choice, as that single theoretical link that I’m attempting to create is what re-enacts the relationship conflict in relation to me and the studies I took on, without realizing that what really matters is not a tag, a name, a definition but how these principles are lived and applied in real-practical living.

    Another pattern is ‘giving up’ on something if it doesn’t satisfy my expectations and not putting it all the effort to make it work, because in the mind I always expect quantum results and having immediate effect of my expectations in this case and example, the entire intent behind everything that I would do as an ‘artistic creation/ project’ was to ‘fit in’ my own desires to make my inner process ‘artistic’ as well, and it can be done and for sure it’s even compatible – though the point here is to point out how within this starting point, I was once wanting the ‘artwork’ to do its effect by itself, and kind of hoping that someone would just ‘notice it’ and make me famous type of ideals, which is really unrealistic because nothing in physical reality really works that way

    And within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imprint a form of hope and ‘waiting’ with myself and my career, my ‘art’ because I was kind of expecting that someone would knock on my door and discover my creations and make me famous type of ideal and unreality. And this is what I see I had built also around my own ‘career choice,’ wherein I had not defined a plan for my future in fact, but just kind of getting myself into the art world and having something/someone come to me or happen to me that would ‘lead me’ to become successful at it, so there was a lot of wishful thinking, positive thinking involved in wanting this to materialize ‘by itself,’ kind of only having ‘the work do its work,’ which is certainly not how reality works and as such

     

    I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to give up on my creative skills because of not seeing ‘any results,’ which is the pattern of giving up on something if not getting the expected results right away in turn, which is what happens when I do not consider the actual effort, the actual process of making something work, something be successful, any enterprise that I embark myself on and not expect it to be ‘successful’ right away, but rather work within the accumulation principle wherein the amount of time, work and effort invested onto a business/ an enterprise or anything that I have committed myself to do, is not going to be ‘minimal’ or ‘very little’ as in this reality everything takes time, effort, patience, constancy, consistency, developing further skills, developing further relationships and all of this implies that what I attempted to do with my life and my wishful thinking about my artistic career was not founded upon physical, practical planning and considerations but that I absolutely just ‘jumped into the boat’ because it sounded great and it satisfied my intentions back then when I made the decision to study art – so within this,

    I realize that when we make decisions based on emotions/feelings and dreams, it will most likely be crashing down on the pavement back to reality because it was all a temporary foam that I created in my mind as ‘my future,’ without any real consideration of the work, the time, the money, the people, the places, the relationships, the materials, the skills or anything of that, but only wanting to kind of have something/someone ‘make me famous’ or ‘make me successful,’ which is no different to how we as human beings tend to be hoping and waiting that something/someone will come to save us, just because we haven’t yet realized or learned that we can only make things happen if we move within it, if we invest the time, money, effort, patience, consistency that goes with making any plan, any enterprise work.

    Further support for business and non-business people on this point: Time = Money – The Soul of Money

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in my mind covertly ‘blame process’ for me not having followed through with my career, without realizing that such ‘blame’ is in fact looking at the actual regret and realizing the nature of the decisions I made in my life, wherein instead of taking absolute responsibility for my life and realizing the lack of practical planning and decision making processes that I had to make, I instead realized the flimsy planning – if any – I had created for me and my life and as such only finished school for the sake of ‘finishing it’ but my ‘heart’ as they say was not into it any longer, because I realized the expectations, dreams and ideals that I entered to school with, which all came ‘tumbling down’ when realizing the reality that I had missed in my decisions – therefore

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to spite myself in this extreme of going from the absolute experience of being ‘into my career’ and giving it the most to giving it the minimum required based on the realization of my intentions behind studying art, and here instead of just forgiving myself for that and being able to walk through it without reactions, I slowly but surely built a certain experience of overall ‘regret’ about it which is how the love-hate relationship was formed. It all happened in my mind based on the positive experience I had imprinted to the idea of studying art/becoming an artist and how when realizing such positive-feelings and imaginations and hoping and dreaming about what I could do in art, I went into the polarity opposite of deeming it as something negative/bad/superficial instead of just realizing what I had done, take self responsibility for it which in a way I did in relation to finishing studies, but within myself as well wherein I am able to stand sound with understanding the context of my past decisions, walk through the consequence without imprinting ‘the consequence’ with negative experiences, as that is where the whole inner conflict was created – and yes, it is quite unnecessary when it is just a matter of walking physical moments, experiences, processes that require my participation and direction and that’s it.

    I realize that what’s done is done and as such the only gift I can give to myself is being able to prevent me from once again making decisions in my life based on ‘how I feel’ about something or someone, and instead learn from the ‘mistakes’ so to speak in order to learn how to take into consideration physical reality, practical planning, realistic considerations and of course in such ‘career decision’ processes, look at the practicality of where I can employ myself and genuinely develop a financial stability with it, because I of course now realize that I could have done it differently if my decision was to remain doing artwork, it was about investing a lot of time to it, which is what I had initially planned to do – but of course, after realizing the actual practical process required in this world, my ‘decision making’ process was almost immediate when choosing to dedicate myself to walk this process that in turn I can apply into and within any other realm that I see is most practical to assist and support others to walk the same process.

    I realize here that art once again can be a tool of support for this process that I’ve decided to walk – however I could not realistically see myself investing most of my time in developing certain skills that I knew I wasn’t going to be using any longer.

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like a ‘fraud’ to the teachers and the people that supported me throughout my stance in art school and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be ashamed toward them because of believing that they invested their time ‘incorrectly’ and even the ‘spot’ I had in such important school could have been used by another person that genuinely wanted to be an artist

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to take me to see ‘the bright side’ as in ‘not everything is lost because I learned a lot from some of the books, teachers and interactions in school as well as the skills,’ which in part it is so, but here it is not to once again want to ‘white wash it’ and get a positive experience out of it –here I then see things for what they are, realizing that yes I probably won’t be making etchings and using all of those techniques I learned, however if my starting point of that is ‘wasting my time’ or ‘someone else’s time,’ then I also forgive myself as that comes within the idea that I took something from someone by attending that school, without realizing that I did want to be there, I did want to learn that and as such, because we cannot turn back time I simply walked through the whole educational process till the end and that’s it. I took responsibility for my choice and now I also take responsibility for my life wherein I recognize other ways in which I can direct myself to support myself and others within this process which is my purpose in life and ‘my life’ in itself, and as such whether what I do is deemed as artistic or creative or not, is not something that matters, as this is not about definitions or how actions and words are categorized, but instead how they are lived and applied.

    I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to step into a career with the sole purpose and idea of ‘making a name’ for myself, to further my recognition ambitions for doing something that people would consider ‘great’ without realizing that in this, I was only spiting myself because I am the one that had to face the consequences of not properly planning my decisions in life, to make sound/physical and practical decisions and not just go for how ‘good’ it made feel and how ‘nice’ my imaginations were in relation to day-dreaming of being an artist and being famous, being recognized and having the ‘time of my life’ within the context of having money, be able to ‘change the world’ – according to my dreams – and at the same time be happy and feel ‘blessed’ as that is the kind of spiritual attitude I was into when I got into art school, quite imbued with spirituality and positive thinking which is why I also allowed myself to want to ‘attract’ success and not consider physical-doings like practical planning, assessing my skills and aptitudes etc. but only choose a career based on my ‘feeling’ of ‘being special/unique’ and having this apparent ‘gift’ to create something, without realizing that we are all capable of creating something and that me taking a decision within this delusion was most likely prone to generate consequences that I am walking through as well.

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make decisions in my life in terms of choices, people, places, careers, what ‘I like’ or what makes me ‘feel special’ and what I accept in my life based on experience, based on what ‘felt good’ what felt ‘right’ according to my personalities, and veer off from that which didn’t satisfy my ego, my desire to be doing something ‘more creative’ based on how I defined ‘creativity’ on plastic arts mostly, which as I’ve walked is rather limiting if we only recognized our ability to create based on making ‘art works.’

    Therefore, I realize that in my life I made many decisions based on feeling, on the experience, on the beliefs, on the expectations, on the dream-like state that I would usually fuel myself with in order to actually evade looking at the reality that I had considered was ‘too awful’ to face and to walk thoroughly as any other individual. Meaning that my decision to be ‘an artist’ was precisely to be ‘eccentric’ and to be ‘acceptable’ within such eccentricity meaning outside of the regular circles of society because of having a judgment toward ‘the system’ and ‘society’ as a whole based on seeing how politics, education systems, money works and the lack thereof, which is why upon facing this ‘insanity’ I kind of decided to make myself ‘insane’ as well as the ‘good reflection of society’ that I was planning to be and become, and so be able to ‘create’ from such image and likeness of the system. Hence the nature of self-destruction portrayed in what I created, even if I was not able to say ‘why’ I only see death and destruction mostly, sadness, depression and overall madness, which was just me trying to become that and do that to myself and the world to not face the responsibility to it, as it’s easier to ‘destroy’ than deconstruct, reconstruct and create something new and stable again.

    I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize or ‘remember’ that my ‘initial intent’ of what I wanted to be and become in my life was in the very beginning before art was ‘in my life,’ to study a career that would make me have a lot of money and be able to ‘travel around the world’ – the usual ‘dreams’ that came with me initially wanting to become a financial advisor wherein I could use my ‘skills’ in a profitable manner. I also recognize that studying art was my way of apparently ‘spiting my parents/others’ that believed that I was going to study some ‘great and complicated career’ based on the supposed intelligence I had, wherein I realized that the only way to ‘turn the tables’ and not follow the pattern, was to study something wherein what I do wasn’t able to be graded with A’s for ‘being right’ but where I could challenge other skills and abilities that to my perception were not able to get ‘ratings,’ without realizing later on that they would still be rated in the same manner any other school work gets rated, which got me irate and furious the very first time that I considered I had placed ‘all my effort’ into something, for months on, working even in my supposed ‘leisure time’ with the attempt to get an A and I got a B and that was ‘heartbreaking’ for me because I was expecting my work to be recognized as ‘good.’ In this I realize that even if I wanted to supposedly ‘escape’ the grading system and the apparent skills I had by ‘studying art,’ I later on realized that art and the art world is no different to any other part of this system that we live in, wherein it is not this wonderland where system-laws don’t apply – and that is how I was able to also burst my own bubble of escapism when realizing that art was no different to any other part of this reality that is managed by ourselves, individuals and that it doesn’t really imply something entirely ‘different’ to any other career because it is still existent within the context of a world system where what you do is assessed and valued in order to be sold as a product so that one can have money to eat. And that makes it no different to any other career or profession – so even within this, I realized that there was no really a way ‘out’ of the system, which then became another reason to be disillusioned at ‘the art world,’ without realizing that any ‘disillusionment’ is really created based on the initial positive ideals that I had formed around it, which means: I did this all to myself and as such, it is not a ‘guilt trip’ now, as that would evade me from walking now the self-responsibility to my decisions and my life in itself and the decision making processes that I will now consider in practical and physical terms, not based on feelings/emotions and ideals.

     

    Rumbos Inciertos 06

     

    Suggest watching the following Desteni I Process Google Hangouts:

    To learn more about the mind and how you can make informed decisions in your life, visit:


    263. The Remedy to Stop Addictions

    220. Drug Culture: Mad Society as a Lifestyle

     

    Self Forgiveness, Self Corrective Statements and Self Commitments

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the thoughts of me being inherently flawed and incomplete and unfulfilled is in fact who I really am, and within this, seeking for a remedy and solution outside of myself through drugs, spirituality, money, sex, entertainment, sports, media and everything that I have participated in in order to not have to investigate How I have created such self-experience through my own participation in my own mind.

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find it difficult to wake up every morning and start a new day, because I have allowed myself to Think as the memory that I have been and become, instead of breathing and being as unconditional as the physical body that I am that does not take a moment to ‘think’ about its existence, but is unconditional in self movement – I realize that I have allowed myself to be tormented by my own self-belief of there being something ‘wrong’ with me and starting thinking that this life is ‘not worth living/ I am not worth living’ and within such thinking processes, I lead myself to seek for a quick fix that will alleviate this inherent self-loathing, self deprecation that leads to self destruction that is sought through anything that can give me a sense of pleasure and enjoyment, even if it is for a moment – thus

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resort to drugs and any other activity that I have turned into a habit as a way to avoid seeing myself as my own mind, which is the actual origin of this instability and dissatisfaction that I experience myself as and that I try to escape from, without realizing that I cannot escape from myself through using drugs or any other means to avoid looking at my self responsibility within creating such self-loathing thinking, and instead I see that I must investigate my own thinking, my own feelings and emotions as the origin and source of this dread that I experience as ‘my life.’

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give my attention, my focus and produce energy to all thoughts linked to a dissatisfaction with life, believing that I can’t go on anymore/ this is just too much/ what’s the point in living? – and within these thoughts allowed myself to go seeking for a way out through drugs, spirituality, sex, consumerism and anything that I have linked to a positive experience in life, without realizing that such habits are only ways to further separate myself from looking at myself as the origin and cause of such instability at a mind level.

     

    I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to really look within myself how is it that I can change my way of being from one moment to another based on the stimuli that I get from the outside world, and within this, not realizing that if I can change myself in one single moment to experience myself in either a positive or a negative experience, this must mean that these aberrant thoughts of self-deprecation and unfulfillment are equally stoppable and preventable, as I realize that it is only through my own participation that I have given attention to become them, embody such instability through fueling such thoughts as who I am, instead of for a moment breathing and stopping to see What am I actually giving my attention to? What am I actually feeding here? Is this really who I want to direct myself to be thinking as? And within this, assist and support me to stand outside the usual self-deprecation that I have experienced as ‘my life’ and ‘who I am,’ which I understand is able to be stopped, self forgiven and corrected as I realize that who I am as a physical being does not exist as self-destructive thoughts, but it is only me as the mind as who I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become that I have given my breaths away to these experiences, without having any idea of how my mind operates in my physical body.

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think about my experience at a mind level through thoughts, emotions and feelings, instead of using my mind to instead place my attention and focus on the physical reality that I embody as  my physical body, and within this observe the common sense of what unconditional living is: unconditional movement to function properly as a living-system that maintains the actual life that we are as living beings.

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to instead of looking back at my own thoughts and understand ‘who I am’ and have become through understanding my thoughts and creating a point of self-correction as my mind/ as my thoughts, I have tried to quiet my mind/ stop thinking through using drugs, sex, alcohol, media, books, entertainment, friends, any and all things and people that I have in fact used and abused in order to ‘get lost’ within myself, without realizing that in this condition, I am not only abusing others but myself as my physical body because I had not seen, realized and understood how it is that the mind can only function through consuming the physical substance of our physical body, which means that every time that we think, become emotional or participate in positive feelings, I am in fact not living but only fueling a system within and as myself as the mind that I have not yet aligned myself to in order to be the directive principle of what I decide to participate in, realizing that the actual expression of myself has never existed and that all that I have been is a mind consciousness system of patterns that I have believed is ‘who I am’ and are immovable, unchangeable – thus

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within these thoughts of giving up my ability to change, I have resorted to mitigate the problem and try and hide from my own mind through using drugs, alcohol, sex, any form of entertainment that instead of it being a self directive decision to entertain myself, experience sex and a genuine self-expression as a physical being in this world, I have made of everything just a drug that I can hook myself to in order to ‘cope with reality,’ instead of realizing how coping with reality is a sign of me not looking at myself as the origin and cause of such problem and distress in the first place.

     

    I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that within this inherent instability as the mind, we have equally created a world that is equally unstable due to us never having had the considering toward Life as who we are – and in this, becoming actual zombies that accept things ‘as they are’ without  a question, seeking for a meaning and purpose in life outside of yourself, instead of actually understanding the responsibility that we hold toward ourselves as our physical body, our mind, every single thought, every single emotion, every single feeling – there is nothing and no one to blame for how this world has turned out to be this way, it is our collective participation and within that,

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame the ‘state of the world’ as it being ‘fucked up’ and use this excuse to numb myself from myself and separate myself from being self-aware through using drugs, medication, sex, alcohol, entertainment and my own mind of imagination, feelings, emotions that I have believed is in fact who I am – without realizing that in this attempt to ‘escape’ from this ‘fucked up world,’ I am becoming an equal co-creator of ubiquitous negligence that we have participated in within our reality.

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek for a meaning to life through using relationships, drugs, entertainment and my own mind to separate myself from the reality that I have inf act allowed myself to participate in without being aware of what my relationship to everyone and everything in fact is, and how with me wanting to ‘escape from reality’ and take drugs to solve the problem, I am in fact only adding up to the social problem we’re living in, wherein life has never been lived but only abused and as such, I realize that through my self-abuse I never contributed to any living expression thus

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to complain about reality, complain about the system, complain about nothing in this world working outside of myself, but never pondering how it is that I am contributing through my own thoughts and emotions for it to not work work/ function properly, which is the key factor that I realize will enable me to realize one thing: If I am in fact willing to assist and support myself and stand as a sound being that can take my life in my hands and will myself to live, I can in fact do so, I can dedicate my life to get to know me, how I created this flawed self experience and such, take my life on my hands and walk a process of self-correction through Self-Forgiveness, Self Honesty, Self Corrective Application wherein I can in fact become a self-responsible being that stops seeking for a remedy, a solution, a way Out of myself, as I see and realize that using drugs or any other means of escaping from myself only aggravates my self-experience and can lead to an inevitable premature death – because death is certain anyways for all beings – however, I would have to ask myself: am I ready to die and have the certainty that I have done everything that is available in my reality to support myself?

     

    I realize that nothing and no one will change me, nothing and no one will provide a solution other than the one that I direct myself to live – and this is how through my own words, through the very same tools I have used to define myself as thoughts, feelings and emotions, I can become a self directive being that understands how it s that I am perfectly able to stop participation in all thoughts that I see are not self supportive, stop participation in all emotions that I realize lead me nowhere but further down the rabbit hole and also stop seeking the opposite positive experience, as I realize that happiness is a mental place that is not sustainable as a living-actuality of who I am as the physical body.

     

    I realize that self-stability is able to be lived as a will and decision to support myself to be and become this physical stability, equal to the one we are breathing in every single moment that we are here on this Earth. It will take time – yes – but the decision is able to be made and lived in every momenta s a constant decision of who I will myself to be.

     

    I realize that  I have spent a lot of time entertaining myself with my thoughts that I got lost within it all and as such, I have to deliberately direct myself to stop any craving for a positive experience or negative experience that I have become so used to in my mind, take my life on my hands, and begin footing myself as breath in every moment, writing myself out to see who I am in one day as my mind , as I realize that every solution I thought was  adequate to myself as my mind has only become more consequential without an actual solution but further dependencies on people, places, drugs, substances in order to get a temporary high, which is unsustainable and will only lead me to self destruction.

     

    I realize that I don’t require to buy, consume or seek for remedies outside of myself, nor do I requite to seek for a meaning or purpose to life outside of myself as an energetic experience, but that I am already here, complete and whole as myself and that any perceived problem is only existent at the level of my own mind that is in fact the nature that I have accepted and allowed myself to become and proven to be consequential and conflictive to myself, it does not support myself as life nor does it support any other living being –

     

    I commit myself to live the realization that it is common sense to assist and support myself to decide to walk a process to support myself to Live and as such, to become a living example of what it is possible to be and become when existing as breathing, living earthlings that start looking outside of our tunnel vision of self deprecation and start considering the life that we have blinded ourselves from through our own participation in the mind, instead of being here as the physical. 

     

    I commit myself to develop self worth, self respect and integrity as a human being that is no longer willing to support any form of self abuse which is stopping participation in all thoughts, feelings and emotions that we have become as our mind, and in fact be willing to give myself another opportunity to live and become the expression of life that I always wanted to be and become, which I realize can only be real if every single being is equally supported to live in dignity and care for one another.

     

    I realize that the physical support I am able to give to myself is existent here as myself, as the physical body that I commit myself to feed properly, to exercise, to breathe and become aware of every breath which is a constant self-directive attention that I commit to give to myself, as I have seen, realized and understood how it is in fact possible to stop the parasitical ego from becoming an unfulfilled leech that I am always feeding through my participation in thoughts, emotions and feelings that I am in fact able to stop.

     

    I commit myself to establish the Equal Money System as the political and economical system that will ensure that no more beings seek a way out of the world, our minds, our own self-experience because of not having a proper education, living support as food, water, shelter, comfort and a living right to express and enjoy what is here within the basic foundation of supporting ourselves as equals/ in equality, to live, to be self directive and honor ourselves as the life that we have embodied  and never again neglect life as we have done thus far.

     

    “There is One Way Out, which is Death. Or there is Another Way out, which is Self Forgiveness and Self Honesty. One of the Two are your Future.

    The One Allows you the Gift of Life, as Part of this Physical World. The Other means: you have to Start All Over again, because you didn’t have Enough Integrity and Willpower to Care about Life, and your Self-Interest Won the Day.
    WHO will you Be? Your Imagination? Or Real?
    You Decide…for as long as you can. But, the Line is Drawn. And, if you Fail at this – you Will be withdrawn from Earth.” –Bernard Poolman 

     

    Choose Life

    Further support:

     

     

    Can you bleed like me

     

    Blogs:

     

    Interviews:


    228. Mental Disorders Hide us From Self Responsibility

     

    Before even getting ourselves into any form of doubt about having a ‘mental disorder,’ one should realize that the current explanation any psychologist, psychiatrist, neurologists or any other form of physician can provide about how the mind works is limited to what the human eye/ mind can assess of itself. This means: it is as limited as our ability to see reality and how it actually functions, which lacks of any form of understanding in order to provide for solutions that can better the lives of all individuals equally. You require proof of of this? Look at this world, there’s our proof/ truth/ reality and it is certainly not working at its best at all.

    This is how and why the Desteni Research over the past 6 years is of utmost importance to humanity in order to understand How the Mind actually Functions and what Consciousness in Fact Is. It is virtually playing god or saints to give some miraculous power these chemicals/ drugs and expect any form of supposed ‘mental disorder’ be cured while having absolutely NO idea of how such  perceived/called/named ‘disorder’ was created by the individual through all environmental influences/ exposure in the first place.

    Continuing from:

     

    As a recap, I have gone through a general perspective of how this drug culture is currently a multi-billion making market that exists within a very well regarded sector of our society which is, paradoxically enough, the health system. The problem is that this HELLth system is lacking any actual understanding of the human mind to in any way provide actual support for what’s been called ‘mental disorders’ of which we are quite familiar with since there is a constant bombardment within the media – and by psychiatrists themselves- to diagnose any person, including children and babies as young as 2 year olds, with disorders that they can give some prescription drug for and make a sustainable amount of profit from all the people that get literally hooked on legal drugs, and yes, that is legal as it is within the framework of the ‘health system’ and approved by so-called authorities at a governmental level. Lack of policies that care for life and only go for the money? Absolutely.

     

    Where’s our responsibility?

    This is as important as valuing your own life: there exist in no way a possibility for any form of drug to ‘cure you’ of that which You have created and programmed yourself within who you have accepted and allowed yourself to be and become as your mind in all its layers and systems. All of this is being explained within the interviews that explain the actual technology of the mind with absolute specificity to ensure that we, as humanity for the first time, get to actually KNOW what the hell is going on within our minds and how there is no actual ‘disease’ but only self created patterns, habits, coping and survival mechanisms to exist within a world wherein we learn how to define ‘who we are’ according to our mind only, who we are as our emotions and feelings, as out thoughts and internal conversations; within this, and once one realizes to what extent we have virtually absorbed our environment to accept it as ‘who we are,’ we are all collectively responsible for everything and everyone in this reality, because the moment I accepted that ‘I am my thoughts,’ I became subject to cultivating this who I am according to these thoughts that I actually imprinted, copied, transferred from my environment/ sphere of influence, my ‘education,’ that which surrounded me wherein if I would have been a feral kid living with wolves or cows, I would have Not developed the human-traits of identifying myself with thinking processes or developing my emotional and feeling bodies as we are taught to do so by our parents from the very first moment we are driven to be ‘entertained’ or ‘pull out a smile’ or being made ‘happy’ with plastic toys and colors, pictures, sounds and gestures that we get bombarded with while being barely able to discern our reality. All this world of constant stimulation is what we have accepted as ‘who we are’ as ‘what makes us feel good,’ and for that: we had to accept thoughts, feelings and emotions as the mind, as energy created by our acceptance of this entire energy-based system as ‘who we are.’ Where is the physical body within this? Nowhere. And what is created from not being able to obtain this positive feel-goodness? Mental instability/ disorders through our perceived lacked of that promoted ‘happiness’ as an actual state of being natural to the human being.

    For more on this you can read:

    210. Not Having Money Makes You Sad– but Why?
    198. Wealth and Positivity a Synonym of Abuse «
    209. Successful Living = Capitalist Brainwash «
    115. Following our Dreams is Plain Delusional «

     

     

    Getting Rid of the Mind = Getting Rid of the Problem?

    A common belief there is within and while walking the Desteni material is ‘getting rid of the mind’ / getting rid of knowledge and information/ stop thinking, when it is not about that in itself: we are the mind, it is an integral part of ourselves and it would be as ludicrous as saying I am not my blood vessels – and this is due to how ingrained and intertwined the mind in fact exists within the physical body. Thus, what we are doing here is walking a process to Align ourselves as beings within our physical body to integrate ourselves within our physical bodies, living in physical common sense which does not require all the friction and conflict that the mind is always instigating as our thoughts, feelings and emotions that we have accepted and allowed as ‘who we are’ to keep us all well entertained ‘up there,’ while disregarding the actual mechanisms of how the mind works and What Powers such mind which is the physical substance, just like we extract the oil from the earth as substance to transform it into gas to be able to move around in our motorized vehicles. Same process – look at all the problems that exist in this world due to this process which I explained in more detail here: Day 2 – Running out of Oil «

     

    The mind resources energy from the physical body to exist. And every time we accept the mind as who we are we consume ourselves which implies that this is the reason why our current system is entirely energy based. The Soul of Money series explains this precise relationship of the relationship between the mind and the physical as the economic model that we’ve implemented in our reality as our current capitalist system, and that analogy in itself should be taken into consideration by more analysts and professionals in terms of finding an economic solution to this world. We do have our own common sense being provided within the Economist’s Journey To Life  blog that provides all the necessary understanding and exposure of our current economy and how to practically transform into an equality based system.

     

    Within this, it is to see that the moment we accept ourselves to be our mind’ we accept the entire system as it is – and this single aspect as a virtual ‘normalcy’ that we’re born into, is what we’ve used to keep us going nowhere but down the road of self destruction, because no one has ever questioned The Mind as who we are in the first place, not to mention the totality of how the mind functions as all that which we are only aware of at a conscious mind level only, which is only the tip of the iceberg of everything that the mind in fact really is and the extent to which everything we have ever been has only been a byproduct of this energetic-resourcing mechanism that the mind inflicts and imposes onto the physical body – is this a matter of coincidence? No, it is human engineering that is explained by the creators of the human physical body themselves and the races that came before the human being – for that, listen to the Reptilian Series and the Atlantean Series to get to understand what the relationship creation process entails – and no, it is not about ‘partnership relationships’ but definitions we created toward everything and everyone in our reality based on Energy.

     

     

    So, is ‘Energy’ the bad guy then?

    No, as everything that is Here in this existence is ourselves, it is the same as wanting to blame money for being evil in this world when it’s not ‘money’ in itself that’s the problem, but  Who We Are As that money which implies that the human nature – and for that matter – the existential nature of what we became from the moment we separated ourselves from our oneness and equality. This primordial ‘times’ explanation is walked through the series The Secret History of the Universe that tell the never-before known/ understood archives of our existence, books from the library of Alcyone that are being narrated/ translated by one of the only beings that had access to that information to reveal How the very first form-manifestations in existence existed-as and related to one another – and this is explained to the T in the following interview:

    The Secret History of the Universe – Is Energy Life – Part 6

     

    This is why responsibility resides within each one of us as there is no way ‘you’ could be out of this existential process and emerged out of ‘nowhere’ in this reality, this is how is plain delusional to believe we hold no responsibility toward ourselves, the world, each other, animals, and everything that is existent in our reality.

    This is also why we are walking our individual process of writing, self forgiveness, self corrective application to understand How we have separated ourselves from our physical body, which is an expression that implies that: we accepted and allowed ourselves to define ‘who we are’ as individuals and toward each other according to a systematized version of life through energy, which is the mind, the mind works on energy which is a reduced awareness of substance which at the same time, is also a part of and what life is as there is nothing ‘left out’ within this existence from being part of ‘who we are.’ This is why we talk about equality as life, we are one and equal as part of this same existence,  each human being is existing as/ made of the same ‘fabric’ as everything and everyone else.

     

    We had ignored the fact of how the mind worked and how it was in fact not the actuality of Living life in the physical, but reducing Life to a single set of energetic experiences assessed by all the layers of the mind in order to create an output of ‘who we are’ according to knowledge and information toward that part of reality/ person/ point we are looking at in reality, which means that we have always only lived through our minds, as energy – not as physical breathing beings that assess physicality by seeing direct – and Not through the perception of what we’ve become as the characters, personalities, knowledge and information as the mind. Yes, we were ‘unaware’ of how it all worked, BUT we cannot deny at all that we were ‘unaware’ of the consequences that are here in our face every single moment as our reality and what we’ve become when cultivating this personified version of ‘life’ at the expense of Life, which is again, at the expense of ourselves.

     

    Thus the mind is who we are as what we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become – which is our responsibility. It is who we are because it represents all the relationships we  created within our processes of individualization, which is – in very basic terms – to imprint and assign energetic experiences to things, people/ parts of our reality in order to define ‘who we are’ toward ‘them/ that’ – this is how separation began from our physicality into energy: defining ‘who we are’ as thoughts, emotions, feelings, how we ‘experience’ ourselves toward other parts and people and particles of our reality, which is then what requires a point of self-definition in order to assess ‘who I am/ what I want to be’ in relation to this/ that part of reality. But at the same time, due to understanding how the mind functions and operates, we cannot possibly define who we really are as only these Experiences that we have toward people/ reality/ beings and determine that as ‘our living’/ life / all that we are – no way, yet unfortunately that’s how we’ve lived as human beings: I am a woman, I am a mother, I am a father, I am an engineer, I am a lover, I am a loser, I am a drug addict, I am a savior, I am intelligent being, I am a depressed person, I am a deceiver, I am a happy person, I am a wealthy being, I am a special unique individual….

    At a physical level in common sense, there is no need to differentiate ourselves according to ‘how we feel, think or experience’ ourselves about others or reality in its totality – however, we all complied to this process even before humanity existed – and that is absolutely each and every single person, being or manifestation’s responsibility because within this all: we are all equal and one, and that is not some nice magical term but an actual consideration of the responsibility we hold toward ourselves as individuals, as our physical, as our mind and toward each other for everything that we’ve become.

     

    Then why do we have to ‘Forgive Ourselves?/ Apply Self Forgiveness?’

    Why Self Forgiveness is necessary? My perspective and realization throughout this process is: How else could be give ourselves the necessary authority and self-will to realize the fuckup, realize where we deviated ourselves from this equality and oneness, to within this self-directive process,  gather enough courage, self direction and integrity in Common Sense to have the absolute decision to support ourselves to, for the first time, to in fact Live, not as a programmable energetic platform that we’ve been living by/as ‘who we are’ as all the personalities/ characters that constantly and continuously ‘remind us’ who we are. Seriously, does life require all of this mayhem of personalities, interests, self deluded ideas of grandeur in order to exist? No, that’s the result of our separation, because in separation, we will always seek to get back to the ‘whole,’ but this ‘wholeness’ is understood as a ‘moreness’ – which is where greed comes from – instead of walking bit by bit our process to understand the actual equality and oneness that we are and can live by As Individuals when equalizing ourselves as our physical body, as our mind, so that we are no longer energy-driven bots seeking for the next fix of an energetic high to be or become something ‘more’ than what we Already Are as the totality of everything that is here.

     

    Education is Necessary for any Real Change

    This is part of what I’ve learned this year thanks to what I can call the Existential and Humanitarian Educational Research conducted by the Interdimensional Portal at Desteni, wherein we are able to get perspectives from the systems themselves to understand what consciousness is, who we are in relationship to it, why we are existing in this world, what are the solutions, what is our responsibility, who created us, why are we only Now getting this information, is there an existence after death? is there a god? what was god? what is our purpose within this  existence then?  – and all I could say is that instead of investing in any form of temporary fix of entertainment, there is no greater satisfaction and stability that one can obtain from these interviews that have allowed me to solve existential woes and questions that would still lead me to be ‘uncertain’ about this entire process and our role within it all. It is absolutely clear to me that only through this education at Eqafe can we assist and support ourselves to In Fact be and become Living Beings that have the necessary understanding – with our respective application with our individual self support of course – in order to create an actual change in this world beginning with ourselves that can surely, this time, stand the test of time and ensure that we never again enslave ourselves to the abusive system and reality we’ve all shaped with our mighty mind forces of self interest as humanity, which is everything that you and I reading this and getting to this point are willing to take responsibility as part of our Self-Realization Process.

     

    Standing up for Life in Self Responsibility thus begins within ourselves, our own mind, our own body, our own relationships no matter how ‘petty’ we can see ourselves at this moment, we are standing up for that which represents Life in Equality and there is certainly nothing ‘greater’ than that, but there’s also quite a process to walk in order to ensure we create the best possible ways to implement these realizations in our physical reality, this world, changing our current economic system into an Equality system that can ensure we are in fact able to trust one another as life, and that is the Equal Money System

     

    Time to get out of the remote-view of our self-deluded versions in our minds of ‘who we are’ and ‘what’s the point’ of all this process – this existence is ourselves and it’s in our hands. We cannot afford to continue diverting our attention with even more self-created problems through our own creation and participation of them in our own ‘heads’ in the first place  due to this basic self definition of who we are as energy of thoughts, emotions and feelings. This whole point proves that as within, so without = we are it all and so is our responsibility equally existent toward the whole.

     

    You decide where you stand.

     

    Next will continue with Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Application upon this primordial separation of who we are as the mind and then, Live the realization that: any form of Mind-Instability/ disorder is Self Created and we Must take Responsibility for it ourselves. Not the drugs.

     

    Self Support to Begin your Journey to Life is Here:

    Heaven is No More

     

    Must Read Blogs:

     

    Get some incentive to Live and be physically hear through hearing the Horse’s lessons about giving birth to Life in the Physical.

     

    Quantum Systemization – Preview


    183. Like and Dislike = Mind Control

     

    Positive Experience Reactions upon the Positive Backchat within the Procrastination Character.

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be used to doing only that which I ‘like’ doing and that which ‘communes’ with my self-religion of self interest wherein all the activities that are related to me doing something that is not necessarily ‘enjoyable’ but necessary as I realize that within this, I have been used to always doing that which I am benefitted by within a positive experience, which is how I have made of my habits something that is in accordance to that which makes me ‘feel good’ and within this, creating an entire value scheme of positive and negative wherein I have things that I ‘like’ doing and things that I ‘dislike’ doing, which was the sole purpose of the existence of emotions and feelings really – (Suggest to listen to Reptilians – Where does Relationships come from – Part 40 for further reference and understanding on what emotions and feelings are)

     

    When and as I see myself talking to myself about doing something that I would rather like to do instead of the task at hand, I stop and I breathe – I realize that the mere resistance and judgment toward that which I ‘don’t want to do, only exists at the level of my perception as the relationship created toward that point/ activity/ task based on me having a positive or negative experience toward it, instead of realizing that aligning myself to the physical reality implies not creating an energetic experience toward the tasks/ activities and responsibilities that must be done in order to walk ourselves out of the inner conflict of like and dislike and focus on the actual doing of the task, breath by breath to support myself to walk through the energetic drive that longs for some type of energetic fix o continue doing, which is not necessary to move physically.

     

    I commit myself to stop creating energetic experiences of positive and negative toward the activities that I have to do on a daily basis as I see, realize and understand that emotions and feelings were only created for the purpose of instigating inner conflict and further separation through specialization and dislike that I have imprinted as the relationships formed with people as either positive o negative – the same with activities, things, environments which are only ‘here’ to further upgrade the ‘who I am’ as the mind, instead of equalizing myself as the physical reality.

     

    I realize that the moment that I allow myself to create a judgment toward something or someone, I am defining/ limiting/ enslaving myself to my own created relationship which implies complying to my own energetic experience when believing that such task in itself is either preferred/ not preferred to do, based on my own beliefs, perceptions, value systems according to that which I react to in a positive or negative way, which in all cases indicates that If  I react in any way, I am still existing as a mind system of limitations. Therefore instead, I assist and support myself to walk my equalization as the physical taking into consideration the physical practicality of the task to be done and that which I require in order to accomplish it.

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be my own mind control when it comes to having a preference toward particular tasks and having a dislike or a negative experience toward other tasks and justifying that with me simply ‘preferring to do something else’ which is indicating that I am not making a self-directive decision, but that it is stemming from my own created value-system of likes and dislikes and preferences that in no way assist and support me to expand as I see and realize that relationships based on energy in fact separate ourselves from who we really are.  In this –

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in a positive way when backchatting myself in order to go out for a walk/ rather work on other tasks that I prefer doing, which is a way to get myself out of the sudden ‘heaviness’ experienced when realizing that I have to work on my task, and within this, allowing myself to immediate go into the positive-sphere of my experience, overcoming it with the idea of waiting for the moment to go out for a walk, not having enough time till then and as such, actually making the decision to not work on my task as I would rather wait to go outside doing ‘something else’ which is how I eventually end up postponing my self direction, because of giving into the preference which is not even an entire ‘excitement’ any longer, but more of a steadfastness that I haven’t allow myself to expand toward all areas of my doings.

     

    When and as I see myself creating a positive reaction toward the idea of me instead of spending time working on my task, I rather do his ‘other tasks’ that I prefer doing – I stop and I breathe – I realize that in such moments I am not the one making the decision, but who I am as the energetic possession that seeks to satisfy itself in order to continue con-trolling my own self direction – which is me in all cases – wherein I realize that it is only me in one moment of breath that can decide not to give into the mind-experience that I ‘prefer’ but instead, act in common sense and doing that which I have to do as part of my responsibilities within this world.

    I commit myself to stop enticing me to do something based on preference, but simply in that moment see the development of the event until that point of seducing me to do that ‘other thing’ I would rather do instead of dedicating time to this assignment and then live the decision of working and doing what is required to be done – which means that all positive aspects of the ‘option’ to take are to be seen as my own deceptive means in which I have created a positive experience toward others/ things/ events/ scenarios and have created a negative experience toward that which I see and realize is what enables us to expand, grow and walk through the initial limits and our ‘comfort zone’ that we are so used to remaining in.

    Within this I also realize that one of the reasons why responsibility was feared or disliked is a deliberate obstacle in/as the mind as who we are in the mind will always seek for the positive experience as ‘the candy’ that will support its continuation and within that, creating the opposite in order to have something to create a ‘better experience’ in contrast, which can only exist if we hold and create definitions toward our world and reality.

    I realize that Responsibility is a key word to live as the ability to expand and grow within our reality and that it has been broadly evaded deliberately to create a common-laxity at a social level wherein the more we are entertained only with our satisfaction as wants, needs and desires, the less attention we pay toward the actual ‘workings’ of the system and the actual reality that is going on day by day wherein it is because of the sum of all our procrastination to get to do things that are to our own benefit as humanity, the less we create solutions, because we are being part of the fuel of the problems and the problem itself – hence we must create the solutions.

    Thus within this, I see and realize that even if I see this point of doing a particular tasks something ‘isolated’ from my responsibility to the  whole, it implies that I am really not living unconditionally applying myself in all aspects of my reality and as such, it Is relevant and important as we are all as  humanity within this procrastination creating a reality of mediocrity which is what I have judged before and that which I am going into the moment that I participate in a positive feeling experience in ‘doing something else’  that is most likely time consuming, life consuming and entertainment/ diversion point that most of the times doesn’t benefit myself and my process.

     

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    174. Sinking in Reactions after Thinking and Not Doing

     

    As mentioned in the previous blog, giving into an experience of the mind is asserting me as the thoughts that create such experience and as such, I’ll walk the specific experiences that emerge from the thoughts and as such, ensure that I walk every aspect of the dimensions walked to far in order to assist and support me to become aware of the energetic experiences I create from the negative to the positive in order to ‘make it alright’ in my mind to actually not do the task at hand, and still remain in a positive experience in my reality.

     

    This is thus walking the Reaction dimension within the Postponement character.

    Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Statements

    – First prominent thought of ‘the office’ – imagination, backchat and reaction

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with an experience of tediousness when thinking/ having the thought of my professor’s office wherein I go into a sinking-in reaction of further participation in backchat with thoughts like ‘It’s going to take sooo long for it to get done, I rather not do it now’ and within this experience already giving up my ability to direct myself in the physical, stopping participation in the thought and the reaction as dullness/ apathy and tediousness that I create in that moment in order to justify my decision to ‘leave it for later,’ wherein I can see and realize that it is NOT my decision to ‘leave it for later’ but actually me giving into the negative experience of dullness/ apathy and tediousness as a reason and justification to instead, seek to do that which I ‘would rather do’ which is something else that I have defined as a positive experience/ giving me a sense of ‘satisfaction’ according to the values placed/ given to other activities that I have defined as ‘more productive,’ without realizing the responsibility at hand that is in-fact here for me to walk and do, instead of seeking to do ‘something else instead’ that is clearly being defined as a ‘preferable task’ instead of what simply has to be done/ must be done.

    When and as I see myself going into an experience of future projected tediousness, apathy and distress when going into the thought of the office, I stop and I breathe. I realize that I actually imprinted this experience of tediousness toward the office in itself due to having had to wait for my professor to be available outside the office and then going into the office with an accumulation of tediousness from having to wait outside for a while, which is then how the moment that I went into the office and imprinted that ‘first impression’ of his office with bright white light, sitting in front of him and handing my writing, I was experiencing myself with such dullness and tediousness due to me having had the backchat prior to entering the office in the lines of ‘This is how it’s going to be every time that I come here to revise my work, I’ll have to wait till he’s here/ he’s available, and it sucks’  thus

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to generate backchat and an experience of tediousness based on the moment prior to getting into my professor’s office due to the amount of time that I had to wait for him to be available and within that, being thinking that ‘I should have come another day/ another time’/ ‘this is going to take forever every time that I have to consult him’  and within this making an experience of having to wait for him to be available and in this, carrying this experience of dullness/ apathy and tediousness into the office wherein in my mind, I captured the thought of ‘finally getting into the office’ with a mix of the ‘carried’ tediousness/ apathy and dullness of having waited outside and imprinting now an expectation as slight nervousness and even ‘controlled anxiety’ when finally facing him and handing my writings to be revised’

    I realize that all of this is captured in one single though of the office being ‘loaded’ with the experience of tediousness, dullness for having waited outside of the office and then the accumulated expectation, nervousness and anxiety that I accepted and allowed myself to participate in within that first time/ moment of going to my professor’s office and as such, creating and imprinting this entire experience as ‘the revision time’ represented by the thought of the office with the bright white daylight, generating within me the same mix of dullness, fear, anxiety and tediousness whenever I think of ‘doing my writing’ and immediately come up with the thought of the office with the bright white light daylight coming through as a non-desirable experience within me.

     

    When and as I see myself going to the office and creating and loading the future projection of the office and the experience of tediousness mixed with nervousness as an entire ‘negative experience’ within me – I stop and I breathe. I realize that I am creating these experiences based on my own acceptance and allowance of thinking in the moment of going to the office and within the thinking, generating an experience that I ‘saved’ as a single thought linked to the physical action of revising my writings, and within this creating an entire experience of it all being something ‘I don’t want to do,’ which is manipulating myself to always only do and remain within a comfortable zone/ doing what I would ‘prefer’/ would rather be doing, without realizing that this is all my inner-mind tricks and manipulation tactics through fear and negative experiences in order for me to not simply physically do something. Thus

    I commit myself to walk the process of actually stopping the thought of ‘the office and the white bright light image’ and the memory replay of me having waited for a long time before going inside as an entire ‘negative imprint’ to the physical action of taking my writings for revision, and within stopping, directing myself to actually work on my writings in order to be available and willing to share them/ go for a revision as a physical practical measure that is required to be taken within this process of me writing and requiring a revision in order to get feedback, which is also a requirement within this process.

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to future project a moment within that office wherein I will be told that I simply have to ‘do it all over again’ as a negative experience that I have imprinted onto that moment of ‘revision’ that I have imprinted with a negative reaction within me of nervousness and anxiety that I actually accept and allow myself to go into just by playing out this future-scenario within my mind of ‘having to do it all over again’ without realizing that I have created this based on linking the word ‘revision’ to a negative experience within the belief that it means ‘doing everything all over again,’ which is in fact an exaggeration as I see and realize that this is only me in my imagination making everything ‘more’ than what it is, in order to use this imagination as an excuse to Not do things.

    When and as I see myself reacting in nervousness and anxiety within the imagination of being sitting in that office and listening that I have to do it all over again, I stop and I breathe – I realize that this is just me playing a picture running in my mind that I am using as an excuse to not move – therefore

    I commit myself to stop participation in that initial thought of the office and within this, stopping participation in the anxiety and nervousness that comes when imagining a play out that is  of a ‘negative outcome / negative in nature’ as I realize that I am here, in the physical moment having all that I require in order to get this task done – therefore I assist and support myself to get this task done in the physical as a movement I make, breathing through any reactions that I have participated in throughout an extended period of time.

    I realize that when having accumulated the same imagination play out for an extended period of time, it will take me absolute directive principle to stop going into the same ‘comfort zone’ of imagining this entire play out as something negative that leads me to manipulate myself to instead, create a positive experience of what I could instead be doing in my reality, to not do the task at hand, which is unacceptable.

     

    Thought of ‘the folder’ containing the writings

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an experience of absolute anxiety the moment that I see the folder in my documents in my computer containing all the writings and information for my writing, and within this immediately shifting my attention to ‘something else’/ some other document in order to shove away all the plethora of thoughts that I have accumulated over time in relation to ‘having to get this done,’ and actually not do it, but scroll down and or shift the window and continue with ‘other things’ that I have considered are more ‘comfortable’ to work with, that are ‘better things to do’ instead of tapping onto this writing, which is manipulating myself to believe that the experience of anxiety and nervousness is in fact real and as such something ‘difficult’ to walk through, without realizing that it is a matter of realizing that I have created this experience linked to the amount of time that I have procrastinated this particular task and as such, created into a single ‘fear’ of even looking at the folder due to this single action meaning that I have Not been self-responsible in all aspects in my world – hence the anxiety and nervousness when realizing the dishonesty toward written points that I have to direct in my reality.

     

    When and as I see myself reacting with absolute fear and anxiety just by looking at the folder containing my writings, I take a deep breathe, I stop for a moment and realize that the moment is here to work with it and that all it physically takes is to click on it, open it and search for the latest version of my document in order to arrange what I have done, and take the necessary steps to update my current direction that I’ve been ‘intending’ to give the writing and that I can do so in this moment that I see and realize it must be done.

     

    I commit myself to realizing that this only takes actually clicks on my mouse and physically typing which is something I consider I am quite comfortable doing, and within this stick to breath, focusing my attention on the points that are HERE to be faced and remain constant and consistent within my own awareness of what I am reading, what I am writing and keeping in ‘mind’ the direction of it all as a commitment to get this done.

     

    I realize that the commitment to stop manipulation through all the negative experiences attached to one single point of writing the document and facing the revision is precisely a part of the ‘problem’ that I have accepted and allowed myself to become the two primary points as thoughts, imaginations loaded with backchat in relation to why I don’t want to do this/ why I could simply skip it this moment and do it later, and in this perpetuate a manipulation within myself and toward my reality, wherein all I see and realize remains is this ‘load’ that only grows day by day due to not having given proper direction to it.

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a reaction of absolute apathy toward something that simply has to be written, as I realize that I don’t require to be motivated with a positive experience to do things/ get things done, as I realize that only us as the mind have accepted and allowed ourselves to condition ourselves to only move if there is ‘something in it for us’ as a reward/ further positive experiences that we have given value to in order to ‘move’ and ‘be motivated’ within this

     

    When and as I see myself believing that I have to have a motivation to move/ to write/ to get things done as a positive experience, I stop and I breathe – I realize that in my process of getting out of the mind and into the physical Self Will means no energy is required to move myself and such, I direct myself as the physical reality that is here to move/ direct and live as physical movements and that only me as a mind would require a positive experience as an incentive to move – thus I stop seeking for  a ‘reason’ outside of myself as a positive outcome/ reaction within me upon thinking about ‘I am going to do this’

     

    I commit myself to realize that whenever I direct myself as the thoughts ‘I am writing this document’ that I do not participate in either a positive or a negative experience’ but simply realize that it is a physical and tangible point to direct in my reality and that in physicality we don’t require to manipulate ourselves with energy to get things done, we don’t require to fear to get things done, we don’t require to feel anxious or nervous within future play-outs of our experience within further imagination moments that we have given our power away to. This is a single decision to stop participating in energy as a demotivation/ motivation to do move in the physical reality.

    I realize that by creating any experience upon something that must be done, I am not yet being fully Self-Directive as a physical being, which is then a necessary point to realize as a constant breathing process wherein I realize that all that I require as tools are here with me and that I’ve got both hands, my breath to move myself in the physical and that’s it.

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a general reaction of irritation and annoyance toward myself due to realizing and falling flat on the realization that I am being the only obstacle within this, and that I have been the one that has been ‘in front of my way’ all the time – thus

    When and as I see myself creating an experience of irritation and further annoyance toward myself for not doing things, I stop and I breathe – I realize this is an unnecessary experience to go into within the realization that the only way to correct this is by doing it, instead of pulling out further experiences, abusing myself, my physical body and lashing it out ‘onto the world’ for something that I am fully aware I am responsible for.

    I commit myself to establish myself as breath to not allow these ‘subtleties’ as annoyance irritation created within me and lashing it out onto others/ the world as I realize that I am the only one that is able to stop the experience and actually direct myself to what is required to be done in this particular task and that no matter how ‘angry’ I get at myself, only physically correcting the pattern will solve the problem – thus I am the ‘problem’ and I am the solution.

    I commit myself to establish my self-discipline in relation to actually doing this as part of my daily routine without any excuses and justification that can create further experience upon having ‘written it out but not living it’ which is the morphed character that must be considered at all times in order to not re-create or further evolve the character by laying it out ‘nicely’ but not living it – and that is where Self Honesty resides.

     

    I will continue with further reactions experiences within the entire walking of the procrastination character.

     

    Reaction Self-Forgiveness:

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define WHO I AM into and as energy-experiences within and as an complete alternate reality, separate from/of my PHYSICAL BODY, never questioning “but, why – when I am IN this BODY in EVERY BREATH, do I not stand WITH it, AS it, in and as equality and oneness in being able to relate to it, communicate with it, “experience” it? Why am I existing in separation from it in a reality/system as the MIND as ENERGY that I do not have full context, comprehension or understanding of AT ALL, regarding where thoughts exactly come from, how energies are in fact created, why/how does things so seemingly automatically come up in my Mind that I have no control of?”

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to so readily FOLLOW energy-experiences and the personification of energy as the dimensions of Personality as thought, imagination, backchat, and behaviour so often that it’s become so “accepted” – that I never even stopped for a moment to consider how LITTLE I am in fact aware of my PHYSICAL BODY, my BREATHING and my communication, interaction and participation with others in this world/reality as ALL the living beings, organisms, micro-organisms – the actual LIVING REALITY that is here. – Sunette Spies*

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    172. Creating Excuses instead of Solutions

    Continuing with the Backchat point that I began walking yesterday within the procrastination character

    A backchat-point that is more ingrained and let’s say ‘case specific’ is not only with regards to a sheer point of laziness/ procrastination that is physically here – yes – however the reasons behind it which all do happen at the level of backchat an internal conversations have more to do with how I have judged this particular task as useless, as a mere protocol, as meaningless within the consideration of what type of degree this is, even seeing it as a waste of time and money to get it done – all of it yes, excuses existing only in my mind that I have given value to in order to continue justifying my ‘demotivation’ to do it, however if we look at ourselves and this world, we have become so used to motivate ourselves for a specific positive-outcome or positive-experience to do things that it then becomes one of the ‘fuels’ that keep us running.

    As I write this I also see how I am squandering an opportunity that many people would have liked to have, which is then absolutely unacceptable, because I am aware of the rate of individuals that are in no way able to assist to college or pay for an entire career to get to the point of graduation. I am aware that my education cost me literally cents every year, however that doesn’t mean that because it is almost ‘free’ my commitment to it must not change.

    I also see another point which is how I have accepted and allowed my personal experience toward the career in itself to be a decisive factor for me to not want to ‘do this’ based on preference – once again, in my mind this was like a disenchanted romance that ended up in my mind rather ‘bad’ from the perspective of me not wanting anything to do with ‘art’ at all. Thus this is the main point for me to work with, because I see there is an attraction/ repulsion going on which can only exist as a reverend masterpiece of mindfuckism™ that I have created within this.

    So – I’ll walk the most prominent backchat within this that I can see can be an ever ‘deeper’ level of excuses and justifications to not do things.

     

    Self Forgiveness

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold the backchat ‘this is something utterly useless to do’ which is based on me believing that having an art degree is useless, which is stemming from my introspection and realization of how and why I decided to study art in the first place, which became a point I judged as shallow, ‘easy way out of the system,’ and essentially avoiding to be ‘in the system’ according to my standards back then, which is how I make it all as if it had been a drag to complete my studies, simply because of not seeing myself with the enthusiasm and ‘love for art’ that I initially believed I had – thus I realize that within this ‘low’ after the great romance with art, I experienced myself demotivated to have anything to do with it, which implies that I am still holding on to my own remorse and repent for having chosen this career as a 5 year-study in my life that I won’t be dedicating myself to – and as I write this

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience anxiety and a general nervousness within the area of the solar plexus due to me making time as something that has been squandered / useless within my life when studying art, without realizing that such categorization and valuation in time can only exist if I measure myself according to what ‘others’ have done in their lives/ what their careers will be/ have been which I have considered are more suitable to our current reality and projects within this world, other than having an ‘art degree.’

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience a slight shame of myself when people ask what I studied, almost as if I wanted to hide the fact that I studied art for seeing it now as a useless piece of study and wasted time in my life, instead of actually considering that it is a career just as any other career in our current world system wherein no-career is in fact precisely supportive for human beings, as all careers and studies are currently veered toward maintaining a world system based on money/ survival wherein no life is currently being considered as THE point to support within all careers and all studies.

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that no matter if I walked the ‘artist character’ I did not precisely tap into the judgments and criticism toward art itself and all the backchat I’ve held toward it which is similar to what one partner would have to say about another partner when the relationship didn’t work out – thus, I realize that my grudge toward myself for my own choices in life, are affecting me to finally do this ‘final kick’ as I am seeing myself being apparently incongruent with having to write about ‘my experience’ in school which is something that I have still judged as a ‘useless/ waste of time,’ while fearing actually hurting/ demeaning people’s activity there which is all related to art, obviously.

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I ever had a ‘real affection’ for art or ‘real love’ for art as I used to say to myself, without realizing that I simply chose this a s point to get infatuated with , as it covered my then personality requirements and satisfied me as my ego – which is how and why after walking this process almost from the beginning of my career, I had a tough time having to realize how I had fooled myself around the whole ‘art thing’ in the first place as a total character that I embodied/ became for my personal benefit and desires to be famous/ well known and have good money without having to be ‘in the system,’ which is how due to holding a judgment toward myself for such choices in life, I now don’t want ‘anything to do’ with it, without realizing that it is very convenient backchat that I have formulated in order to not do things.

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that people/ professors are expecting something of me – while at the same time realizing that I haven’t really built any ‘artist portfolio’ that I could present myself with, which I had created as a separate aspect of myself in relation to being a ‘visual artist’ without realizing that I am actually walking the process of creating myself which in itself, must also be an ‘art’ as a self-mastery that is not related to color or shapes or concepts other than working with the concept that I’ve become – thus there is no point to use the backchat of ‘they must be expecting something ‘great’ from me within this work’ which is only one added point of fearing not being ‘good enough’ within others’ expectations, which is then an aspect that I see myself being ‘limited by’ – wanting to in my mind create this ‘great revolutionary work’ and thinking of all the possible ways to approach it, instead of actually physically writing it out, arranging it so that it becomes an actuality instead of just a ‘great thing’ in my mind.

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create my own standards of ‘excellence’ within me that I am eventually tampering my ability to work with myself, and this is in relation to who I am with regards to the idea of myself as ‘the great student’ and within this belief of myself, still holding it as a background and character that I must apparently ‘fulfill’ at the eyes of the academy,  which is then me as ego wanting to do a work as ego, not really benefiting anyone with it.

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to now go into a ‘guilty experience’ due to having squandered time to get this done, and realizing that many would have wanted to be in my position which is just another way to blackmail myself into feeling ‘bad’ and thus moving myself only out of guilt and remorse instead of simply clearing my starting point to do this work.

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create the starting point of doing this work as a way to simply ‘get this done and over with,’ which is not entirely stemming from self-stability and decision to do it, but mostly like a ‘stone/ obstacle to get out of the way’ which is then not an equal and one participation moment to moment to do it, but mostly something that is simply done to ‘get over with it’ which contains an entire experience of my own disillusionment with the career, which is just like signing away a divorce by first having to spend one more time with the ‘ex-partner’ without really being together any longer thus –

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make of my entire career as a failed-decision, a failed-marriage, a failed-experience due to realizing the starting point in self honesty of me having chosen this career. Thus instead of further victimization with regards to seeing it all as a ‘wrong choice,’ I realize that this is further excuses and justifications wherein I have considered ‘how I feel’ toward art/  my career and create a relationship with it, instead of seeing it as any other systematic task that I must accomplish as part of the responsibilities I hold toward my world and reality ‘as is.’

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed so much bullshit to run around in my mind as backchat that I ‘pay attention to’ in order to procrastinate this point within the ‘uselessness’ category, wherein I see that in my mind I apparently would expect to ‘invest my time’ in something ‘greater’ however, this is a blatant excuse as that would be creating my own value system according to what I consider is ‘more valuable/ more worthy to spend my precious time on’ and what not, which is not so.

     

    I realize that this work to be done is actually a cool opportunity to leave a whole new perspective of approaching – well not entirely/ absolutely ‘New’ but continuing where Beuys left off – the creative act and creation in itself of the individual and society as a whole.

     

    I realize that all of these statements, future projections, past regrets and spiteful actions toward ‘my career’ are in fact toward myself and my choice to study art, which implies that I must first forgive myself unconditionally for the choices I’ve made in my life – which is a necessary point to not make this ‘more’ than what it is.

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to equate my career to this ‘bad experience/ bad romance’ that ended up ‘bad’ according to the high expectations that I had held toward myself, my career and my so-called certainty to change my vocation to art instead of being a linguist, wherein I see there is a point of regret – however, there is no point in holding on to this –

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel guilty for all the amount of money that my father spent on this career all for me to eventually ‘be an artist’ which I am not going to be in this life, and within this use this point of ‘feeling bad’ as another excuse to simply Not do this at all, as a way to not wanting to be facing my own decision within doing the work, not wanting to face my own career choice while doing the work – and all of these limitations have climbed up to become an obstacle that has become like a grudge within me that I have used as a justification and excuse to not do things.

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience failure within me when seeing people actually enjoying themselves within the career and already moving within the artworld wherein I see myself as nowhere near that or even interested in that which has also become a point of comparison and believing that I cannot possibly write about something that I am not fully committed to – which implies that I am still seeing the starting point of doing this work as it being ‘for the academy’ instead of this work being for myself, to actually complete what I have vowed myself to do and finish from the beginning.

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to actually hear/ pay attention and even use these mind assessments of my reality as something ‘valuable’ to consider in order to direct myself within my world and reality, which is unacceptable considering that none of them are in fact standing within the consideration of supporting and assisting myself to get things done without using any background information/ backchat to decide whether doing it or not.

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use backchat as a way to convince me that this would not have to be done in the end and within me holding a ‘hope’ that somehow this would not have to be done, that I would be able to regain my automatic graduation point without having to do this work, without realizing that in such hope I am existing in a similar way to a faithfully deceived religious person that waits for something/ someone to fix their situation, instead of taking Self Responsibility at all times.

     

    I realize that I have all the ability to stop associating this work to being the fruit of a failed decision in life and instead, align its starting point to a living decision that I’ve made to dedicate myself to what is best for all and as such, realizing that no matter for whom or for what I write, what I write as myself, my expression, no need to ‘fix myself’ to suit parameters that I have believed myself I must ‘fake’ in order to please others, this is about my own creation that stands as an extension of myself, my own realizations and as such, is no different to writing a blog, writing a post, writing myself to explain myself to any other person.

    I realize that I have been the only one that has been the real obstacle within this all as the relationship of love/hate I created toward my career choice,  nothing else but another character that I made of myself – thus this stops here.

     

    I commit myself to stop creating excuses and justifications as thoughts of how and why this is something useless to do and that I’d rather ‘do something else,’ without realizing that these are just blatant excuses to not do this in fact – thus, I direct myself to establish me as the starting point of this work, to establish myself as the directive principle within this task instead of still thinking that I am doing this for ‘someone else’ or only to ‘get a paper.’ I instead assist and support me to realize that I am my own starting point at all times of everything that I do, write, say and think even, wherein I can decide in one single moment to step out of character and this entire relationship toward my past and simply do this as a fresh-point that I decide to begin here.

    I realize that I do not require to ‘carry’ all my past and personal experience within it, but actually be able to create a common sensical perspective upon creation/ creative process in itself in means of creating oneself as an individual that is able to become an equal part of the whole while using our self-creative abilities to do so, which is what begins with myself by writing this out and using this document as a way to also support others to realize the same.

     

    More to continue.. Yes, until it is done.

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    Journeys into the Afterlife – The Future Selves – Part 35

    155. Are we all Cannibals?

    Redefining Consumerism as Self Support.

    Within continuing looking at consumerism and the Frog Interviews, it is clear that the initial relationship we formed toward everything that is here, lead us to eventually having to consume ourselves in order to continue living – consuming ourselves? yes, we consume ourselves within the understanding that who and what we are as the substance within this physical existence is in fact  everything and all that we are and that which we use to sustain ourselves as physical bodies and, also as the mind that we fuel with our very own physical substance. For further explanations on this point, check out the Heaven’s Journey To Life blog.  We have been transforming this life substance and diminishing it to energy, to only being a temporary high in our minds to power up thoughts, emotions and feelings – thus, how to honor our living reality and physicality once that we discover that at the moment we’ll have to continue consuming food to exist?

     

    I have walked through the point of judging having to eat and shit at the same time, consuming physicality and using it up to then dispose everything that I don’t require any longer within my physical body. Through understanding how the composition of my own physical body is the same as everything and everyone that is here – common sense – I got to see how it is in fact only the relationships that I have formed and created within my mind toward everything that I consume that which must be cleared up/aligned/ corrected  to in fact make of my own self-consumption a living-support, and not just feeding myself with food to sustain a physical body that would later on ‘empower’ my own mind as the ‘occupant’ within my body, depleting all the actual life-substance to power up thoughts, feelings and emotions as that point of separation we have existed as within our minds.

     

    If cannibalism is seen as immoral in society, guess what? We’ve done this to ourselves through participating in our minds within believing ‘it is who we are.’

    “Where I had within and throughout my Life, created who I am in my mind, and connected everything/everyone into and as my who I am in my Mind and so emerged into/as physicality reality through a Mind/as a Mind. Where, the processes of thinking/internal conversations emerged as how I would, within my Mind-Reality and the relationships I had formed within it – evolve it through thinking, and having internal conversations within myself and substantiate the Mind through/with energy/energy-experience as I make my internal alternate mind reality of actual physical reality ‘alive’. And so create an entire ILLUSION of what it means to live/be alive, not seeing, realising and understanding how for the Mind to exist, the Physical Body is sacrificed..” – Sunette Spies – Thought Designs – Part 2: DAY 154

     

     

    We have All certainly participated in this by the mere fact of identifying and accepting ourselves to ‘be the mind’ and being literally ignorant about the actual functioning of the relationship between the physical and the mind, and about ourselves as the actual corporation/ consistency/ physicality of who and what we are really made of, which is ourselves as our physical body – wow, we have really Never in fact considered our entire physical body as the – derogatorily speaking – energetic source for our little bright mind to continue existing as this seemingly infinite resource to think, feel, imagine, wish, dream and hope all the time, which includes the points we’ve been looking at in terms of consuming/ buying/ possessing something or someone. And that is our real nature.

     

    Within consuming – besides buying – we have the Eating consumption. And within this a way to practically walk this point of consuming/ consumerism at the moment within realizing that everything that we eat is ourselves, and everything that we have always consumed in any form/way is ourselves – this implies that our very own living-reality of consumption is based on us consuming ourselves. Now, this sounds really Not Cool I mean, all the time we thought we were in fact just ‘eating’ and that such action had no other meaning than sustaining the physical body – BUT! What we didn’t know, realize or understand is how the mind actually worked in relation to the physical body, and how everything that we ate would actually serve to sustain the very mind physical system that exists at an interdimensional level, sipping out the actual physical substance to transform into energy for its own survival – yep, a real parasite there and we are constantly feeding it – how? through participating in thoughts, emotions and feelings and any other type of mind-experience that we think is ‘us’ experiencing it, never really understanding what it in fact implies at the level of consciousness to be continuing creating relationships toward everything/ everyone in separation of ourselves through energy.

     

    Thus, we have diminished the life substance that we consume to support ourselves to single batteries to power up the mind – the same way that we all have become single batteries to power up an entire world system of money. We see how we tend to judge ‘the world system’ in separation of ourselves, and how this actually leads us nowhere but further victimization instead of Self-Support with actual understanding through writing, applying Self-Forgiveness, Self Corrective Statements and Living it/ Applying it to in fact get to see how we have all been ‘unconditional’ participants to create the current world-system fuckup we exist as.

    What does this practically mean? That we can begin considering the food we eat as an unconditional point of self support that we can in fact Use/support ourselves with to start living self-forgiveness beginning with the food that we eat.

     

     

    As everything, we can redefine ‘consumerism’ as a derogatory term and instead see it as a physical function of taking in/eating/ingesting life to produce/support/give sustenance to ourselves As Life,  and that point of ‘producing/ supporting life’ is entirely up to us, to no longer use/ abuse food to feed our mind-cravings and mind needs, but instead assist and support our physical body in reality, the reality of what is required as nutrients which certainly is another aspect of education that must be investigated with our own physical bodies and proper medical diagnosis like blood samples, to see where and how we can practically nurture ourselves in an efficient manner, and not only following the desires, needs and wants of our mind, which is then already using the energy up to think about wanting/ needing/ and desiring, just like a never ending ouroboros to consume itself.

     

    Thus through committing ourselves to Live and walk the Living Correction through Writing, Self Forgiveness, Self Corrective Statements and the Practical Application, we ensure that the nutrients we take in the form of food from/ of the Earth as the substance required to keep ourselves alive, are used to sustain ourselves during our Journey To Life, which means that it is to honor that which we take in as ‘food’ within the consideration that such nutrients and support for our body will in fact Not be used to power up our mind flicks and energetic manias, but instead support who we are as the realization of the relationship between the physical body and the mind, ensuring that through us stopping our participation in the mind within this Process; thus we use the nutrients to honor ourselves, honor life, because that’s certainly something that we were not taught to even consider within the foods that we eat, we simply learned that we give money for it and have ‘the right’ to consume it, that’s it.

     

    So a practical point to consider whenever we are consuming foods, is to commit ourselves to realize that we are sustaining ourselves to LIVE in/as the Physical Body here breathing and providing the necessary nutrients to every physical component of our entire body, instead of feeding/ nurturing ourselves as our body to only power up the mind that sucks up such nutrients from our very tissue in order to continue the separation from ourselves as the physical body, externalizing this consumerism within the world system through money to ‘buy’ and ‘consume’ as a form of satisfying/ fulfilling/ creating a positive experience within ourselves As the Mind itself and so, becoming actually an eating-slave to power up the system that we have abdicated our living responsibility to.

     

    This is a Vital point to understand, because it’s never been explained before how our thoughts are not ‘made up of stars’ as some innocent imaginary thing that has no consequence on the physicality that we are, no. They all Do have a consequence just as everything else that we participate in, and that’s our responsibility to get to know in detail about, as it is Our physical body and as such, our entire understanding of how this reality works so that we can in fact start getting a more in depth-view and understanding of this current world system being the direct outflow and manifestation of the very relationships that we are existing as within our physical body – you can begin with walking the Quantum Mind Series at Eqafe and get a hold of this in a step-by-step detailed explanation of what we are, how us participating in thoughts actually defines our entire relationship toward ourselves/ all in our reality, and also how to through becoming aware of this, commit ourselves to be the generation that stops accepting the mind as ‘normal,’ and also stopping any knowledge and information about how the physical body works that has been based on profit-making other than an actual support and assistance toward our quality living standards in our current society and reality.

     

    We decide who and what we actually feed because we are the ones that decide in every moment whether we live or only delegate our beingness to a mind to do the pseudo-living for us through thinking reality, instead of living it.

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    152. Human Race Embarrassment: Shame on Us

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use embarrassment as an emotion and thinking pattern to dissociate myself from that which I see and create an experience toward it in an attempt to separate myself from others and deny that ‘I am them as well,’ which has been a pattern throughout my life to do ‘everything I can’ to be unlinked to anyone that I have deemed as too embarrassing and barbaric to even realize they are a part of that which is here as humanity, the race of beings that I am also a part of.

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an emotional experience toward the actions, thoughts, words and deeds of fellow human beings as points of abuse toward oneself/ another/ the animal kingdom/ the Earth itself, without realizing how with me thinking and judging ourselves as humanity I am in fact only reinforcing the same systematic abuse wherein ‘who we are’ is reduced to only knowledge and information that I have separated myself from as pictures, images, thoughts, attitudes, habits that we have diminished ourselves when acting out/ living through a limited ‘frame of reality’ that we have established as ‘who we are,’ daring to even compare/ rate/ value/ regard everyone and everything in separation of ourselves.

     

    When and as  I see myself experiencing embarrassment upon viewing/ hearing/ reading/ witnessing a human beings’ actions and words in/ as a point of abuse toward oneself, I stop and I breathe. I realize that me judging another through my mind is an equally abusive point that in no way assists and supports the being to realize the point of separation that’s being created and acted upon through the dictatorship of the mind that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become.

     

    I realize that as long as I continue reinforcing an experience toward witnessing/ viewing/ hearing/ getting to know of a point of abuse that we as human beings have perpetrated against fellow human beings, the animal kingdom and our reality, it means that I haven’t unconditionally let go/ forgiven myself for what I have accepted and allowed to exist as ourselves, as individuals  that have used the mind to separate ourselves further and further from the actuality of who we are, from any relationship of ourselves toward ourselves, fellow beings, as we can only exist within the mind-frame of embarrassment/ shame as judgment that can only exist if I also reduce myself to only being and becoming an emotional experience of embarrassments as ‘who I am’ in the moment.

    Thus, I commit myself to stop supporting any form of judgment/backchat/ gossip about and toward any being that is acting out/ living a point of self-abuse, as I see and realize that me judging makes no difference to ‘them’ and instead, only reinforces ‘my’ individual perspective as a point of separation in the form of an experience created through thoughts in my mind of shame and embarrassment, which can only exist if one exists as thoughts, emotions and feelings to create an idea of myself being ‘correct’ as in being superior/ better than the other part that is being judged – I instead assist and support myself to self forgive the point of separation and walk as breath to ensure that I stop supporting any form of separation through assessing ‘who I am’ as the mind and instead, equalize myself as the physicality that is here through breathing.

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand shame as a point that I can use as a way to see how unconditional self forgiveness is the point wherein I can absolutely let go of the judgment toward any and all parts that I have separated myself from and instead, assist and support myself to ensure stopping patterns of recrimination and inferiority exerted toward others within/ through thinking, which is in itself an activity that we have accepted and allowed as ‘normal’ without realizing that: as long as we think, here are not Here as the physical moment of breath and instead we’re only separating ourselves from each other as the actuality of who we really are.

    (Read Heaven’s Journey To Life blog for more: Thought Designs – Introduction: DAY 152)

     

    When and as I see myself existing as shame and embarrassment toward ourselves as human beings upon hearing, watching, witnessing or reading about the abuse that we have imposed and inflicted upon ourselves and this entire existence – I stop and I breathe – I realize the experiences of shame and embarrassment as ways to only care about ‘how I think others/ how I ‘feel’ about something and someone,’ which is only existent within Me at a thought level, which leads to further laxity toward our own thinking when viewing it as a ‘normal reaction upon abuse,’ and within this missing the actual point which is how through thinking we create our own possessions upon the physical as a continued form of self-abuse.

    I realize that as long as I participate in any form of thinking and judging others in separation of myself, I am in fact not supporting them/ myself to realize a point of self-correction, but only deviate the point of responsibility that I hold toward myself as my own accepted and allowed participation in thoughts, feelings and emotions – thus

    I commit myself to stop any emotional experience of embarrassment as an emotional experience created upon witnessing/ reading/ viewing a point of abuse toward oneself/ others in order to take responsibility for my own thoughts, my own participation in the mind as that is what I in fact am able to change/ direct and align to what is best for all. I realize that I cannot change another’s actions, thoughts, words, but I can only remain standing as an example of what is possible to be and become when we do not allow ourselves to be ‘driven’ by an experience in our minds and as such, unconditionally also let go of any point of judgment exerted toward others that triggered the experience within me, as I see and realize I am the starting point of such experience, not ‘them.’

     

    Furthermore it is to realize how this embarrassment toward all the points we read in the news and in our day to day living experiences in reality when becoming aware of a point of abuse can instead be directed to ensure that we do not only remain as ‘victims’ and ‘judges’ of our reality, but instead take such points as demon.strations that we ensure we stop and take self responsibility for in any away within ourselves, as we see/ realize and understand that as long as we continue thinking, becoming emotional and creating further thoughts about something/ someone, we are only standing in an equal-manner to the mind possession/ point of abuse that is being judged; within this we can see how we as humanity tend to judge each other for the atrocities that are committed without understanding the source and origin of such abuse being one and the same within all individuals/ human beings that currently exist as the dissociation of the mind in relation to the physical, which once again brings the importance of getting to know ourselves as our mind, as the physical and as such, create a point of reference to see where and how we have separated ourselves from every part that is here through us ‘thinking’ reality instead of standing one and equal as it to actually see in fact and understand any point of abuse that is existent at the seemingly ‘innocent’ level of a thought.

    It is time for us to look into ourselves at all times to see if what we say, think, act and participate in is an expression that we are willing to stand as for eternity – we are actively and practically walking our mind to establish a final directive point within ourselves within the principle of what is best for all, which cannot contain a point of judgment/ projected blame toward others as ‘the abusers’ for we would understand how any point of abuse is in fact self abuse as the mechanisms that allow such abuse are existent in each one of us as well, thus we are all equally responsible and that responsibility begins toward ourselves as our own mind.

     

    Self Respect as the Living Realization of what this Process is about can be walked with individualized assistance and support to ensure that one in fact acts upon one’s own Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Application in one’s world and reality:

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    135. ‘The Secret’ CULTivates Narcissists

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept the pursuit of happiness as a normal human being’s purpose in life wherein one’s empowerment as money – more than the necessary one enabling relationships, properties, top executive jobs and all sorts of benefits in society – is actually revered and venerated as if it was an actual God that we are praying to and praising, making of money our god – yet we disguise this blatant cult with words like success, fame, fortune, dream life and roles/conditions within society such as nobility, royalty, presidency, top sports players, magnates, riches and ‘influential people’ that can only exist in such titles as an example for billions of human beings that seek to be in such a position as well, without realizing how ludicrous it would be to in fact sustain a life of ‘the rich and famous’ for 7 billion human beings.

    Thus, I realize that what is required is an actual wake up call to expose how such ideal ‘happiness’ and ‘well being’ based on the standards of what a rich/ famous person is, is in fact unsustainable and the actual glorification of abuse, as if we were able to in one single moment become aware of how many people have suffered, been killed, abused, chronically suffered through the creation, manufacturing and production of our entire ‘civilization,’ we would probably start regarding wealth and fortune as an actual point of abuse instead of blindly and foolishly praising it in separation of ourselves as life.

    When and as I see myself wandering off to the life of the rich and the famous and start wondering how ‘great’ it would be to have all that money – I stop and I breathe – I realize that such images and stories of having all the money are actually systematically conveniently propagated and are specific/ strategic ways to imprint desires, wants and needs within regular slaves/human beings so that we continue working ‘as much as possible’ to someday eventually (in our dreams only) get to such a position of power and fame, glory as all the money that we believe is the actual point of ‘happiness’ in our world.

    I commit myself to expose how the lives of the rich and famous are actual strategic points of propaganda to keep capitalism and our current life-style of seeking fame, fortune and glory in place as the ultimate bliss, which is then recognizing the point of abuse it represents to present a life that is in no way LIVING but only consumerism equated to fulfillment unattainable by all human beings equally and that it is thus in fact an insult to present such outrageous fortune while blindly believing that all beings can ‘climb the ladder of success’ toward such fame and fortune within the current monetary system.

    I see and realize that it is only through looking at the ‘reality’ of our desires, wants and needs that we become aware of how we have participated in creating desires, wants and needs that in no way represent an actual Living Condition that Supports Life/ living, but that are only make-believe realities as the products and activities that are related to us aspiring to be and become part of ‘the elite’ that we see on TV, that we see on magazines and that we are enthralled with within our current societies wherein media is telling us what to do, what to eat, what to wear, who we should date, what to vote for, what to diss, what to suppress, what to embody, what to think and what Not to think through imprinting fear toward the most basic questions that every human being should ask themselves, such as HOW it is that we have created the current monetary system as a god that is not readily available for all to dignify all beings’ lives?

     

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to never question the seeKing and Chase-ing of positivity in this world as a point of abuse, due to it being perfectly ‘normal’ for any being to seek self’s own ‘well being’ through asking to an energy/god/saint/the universe for that which could mean happiness/ joy point, which is actually using money as a point of abuse to acquire yet another point that can only be conceded/ given if it is taken from others in fact, which is how the Law of Attraction actually works like.

    I realize that the sheer acceptance of only a fraction of human beings existing in this acceptance of their ‘pursuit of happiness’ as an actual living-purpose is what must be exposed as the popular accepted and allowed abuse within humanity, as this is the way that we have made of narcissism an apparent disorder that can be named individual self interest due to the extreme care for one’s own well-being actually existing as a  ‘normal thing,’ in our society, being entertained with all things positive that one can consume in order to ‘feel great’ while 3/4 of the Earth starve to death every single day.

    When and as I see myself accepting positivity and positive thinking as a ‘normal thing’ in our reality wherein it’s seen as ‘something ordinary’ that people want to succeed in what they do and what they dedicate their lives to – I stop and I breathe –  I bring myself here to realize that such attitude is actually the building blocks of a delusional world system, wherein any positive experience cannot exist without abusing thousands of beings, which includes everything that we virtually have as a commodity in this world system at the moment, simply because we have not yet become an actual living being that cares for life in equality, but only seeks one’s own benefit at all times, regardless of who has to suffer the consequences.

    Thus, I commit myself to expose positivity as an actual abusive thinking pattern that has been blindly accepted, followed and bought within society because of the amount of money it also produces for the world system – thus it is to expose what a closed system of wealth it represents when only a few can aspire to get to/ obtain such point of success wherein education, money, and having at least a middle-class position is what enables you to seek after things like ‘The Secret’ and any other wishful positive thinking, without considering how everything that one asks is in fact manufactured, produced, distributed and sold within a world system wherein Money in itself as the current monetary system is the actual structure of abuse of which there cannot be in any way a possibility to ‘succeed’ without abusing others.

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept the ultimate self-importance and individualism as an actual ‘self-care’ wherein in fact I only cared about ME-me-me and my position within this world system being secured through money as long as My-Needs are fulfilled, without realizing how this apparent ‘self-improvement’ of the individual through wishful thinking, positive attitude and a ‘clear vision to the future’ is nothing but white-light rubbish as words that rub the ego the right way in order to create an imaginary sense of well being, wherein the very backchat/ thoughts in the head as internal conversations become also part of the character that sustains this positive-beingness of only seeking to get the rewards, only seeking to be granted with ‘the most cake,’ granted with the ‘most important position’ in a job, granted with all the money in the world with which we can ‘make our dreams come true,’ never questioning how this ‘may your dreams come true’ attitude represents doing just that: manifesting an imaginary dimension of our minds, using an also imaginary point like money to in fact create a righteous ‘right’ to use the resources of the earth, the people and the entire structure in order to Only satisfy ourselves –

    I realize that this makes us ALL Equally Responsible for what is existent in this world, just by the fact that we have all sometime wished something ‘good’ for ourselves while neglecting the rest of the world and its actual situation of absolute lack, famine, violence, abuse and extortion that reality is currently existing as, wherein money became our security veil that will certainly not be sustainable for a long time now.

    I commit myself to expose self-improvement as the search for success, positive thinking and positive attitude as the most EVIL tools ever provided to humanity further separate ourselves from one another, creating the ultimate competition to get the jackpot within following ‘The Secret’ that we foolishly accepted as ‘real’ without pondering how it is that people in the Elite would actually allow this point to come-through with such as if it was in any way real – Thus, it is to expose this ‘get rich quick’ lifestyle propaganda as the totalitarianism propaganda hitting human’s buttons that read ‘searching for happiness,’ in order to accept the current monetary system wherein ‘all dreams can come true’ through maintaining and sustaining a system of abuse such as capitalism, wherein the platform to only support/ grant such ‘big prize’ is available for a few only, which means that The Secret as the Law of Attraction is in fact like a light that attracts the moths to their death, as there is no way in which such happiness as ‘all the money, fame, glory’ is able to exist for all within the current configuration of the world-system as money – yet there is another way

    The solution stands clear: we must create a world-system wherein Everyone’s Lives can be in fact glorified, dignified and enjoyed through a monetary system that ensures the access to the Earth’s unconditional resources in an equal manner, as that is the actual way in which True Happiness can emerge in this world, where all men regard each other as equals, wherein all beings can finally live and experience the ever longed-for Heaven on Earth that has been broadly promoted, while it is the ultimate Scam in religious and New Age movements with the infamous name of ‘ascension,’ without realizing that such Heaven is no more and that all that is Left is Life on Earth to be equalized through an actual political and economical reform, wherein all that is here of the Earth is given and distributed equally to all beings in it.

     

    This is then the real Law of our Being that must be realized and understood as the Only way in which Our lives can continue existing – thus it is to transform that selfish narcissistic Self-Care/ Self-Importance to an actual SELF that considers/ regards all beings as one and equal.

    I commit myself to be the example of how Life can only thrive if living in Equality beginning with ourselves

    Be One Vote for World Equality – No More Secrets!

    Equal Money System 

     

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