Tag Archives: fortune

419. Devaluation of Self

It’s fascinating that when we operate in terms of ‘values’ and we value people according to who we perceive them to be – as their amount of studies, knowledge and information and generally known success in life, we sometimes create the notion of ‘famous people’ or people that could be generally perceived as ‘more important than’ or ‘superior’ to others that we have defined as ‘plain mortals’ so to speak. I noticed that this exists within me in the form of considering that some people who I would like to invite for discussions could be ‘too famous’ to actually want to be in a live discussion with me/us.

 

Louis Vuitton Morton

 

This came up as I was sharing with others about a particular person I would like to invite to a live online discussion and even if I know I am directing myself to propose it and actually eventually create it, I noticed a sharp pain on my right leg, quite on the surface but unusual though so I got to know from the person I was talking to how this relates to one’s foundation of support, and from some older notes, the flow of expression. So what came behind the proposal to interview this individual were also aspects of self-doubt in relation to how I have valued/perceived the person to be. So I realized how I tend to create these limitations based on how I have ‘valued’ a person according to their ‘accrued interest’ on knowledge and information and so how I see myself considering it would be ‘unreasonable’ or ‘unbelievable’ or ‘out of reach’ or ‘requiring something more than what I got’ to be able to actually approach another individual to discuss topics that we for sure have in common to discuss.  But then again, how/what has in fact placed such limitation? Myself based on the perception of these individuals being already interviewed by other media and ‘professional anchors’ so in this, I actually create my own limitation because I then look at the person not for the actual purpose of having a chat with them would be, which is a point that benefits everyone in fact, but I then first pull out a point of doubt of whether ‘we are up to the height’ required for it.

So in this particular practical considerations are required. For sure it would imply that I for example, have to ensure I read up to and continue educating myself to get more background on the person and their work so that I can have that same foundation for such conversation, that’s just practical stuff that I do anyways – so what changed? Well, the idea of ‘who’ the person is, so here we go!

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to consider person x as ‘way too unreachable for a chat’ considering that I have placed this person as an ‘important individual’ in their spheres of influence and within that ultimately believing that ‘they would not care/agree to have a chat with us’ without realizing that in this, I am in fact giving up or already going into defeat before even trying, so WTF?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consider that I would require something ‘more’ in order to be able to invite someone for a chat, such as greater production or more publicity or else, without realizing that what I/we do is what is possible at the moment and using the means that we have at our reach and as such the simplicity of it and the use of cost-less resources does not diminish the quality of the production as the conversation in itself – therefore

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a predisposition in the belief that this individual will only accept an interview if it comes from some major media outlet, without realizing that in this I am already giving up to even actually going for it and making an invitation to the person – within this, my approach has to be equal and one as with every other person I invite and so,

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an experience of inferiority toward an individual that I consider ‘unreachable’ or ‘too famous’ or ‘too prestigious’ to be part of a conversation with me/us online – in this I realize that through this perception of the person being ‘more than’ I created my own limitation toward them and so creating an experience of uncertainty of myself in relation to how that conversation would develop – without realizing that this is all only my own mind patterns and experiences that I have created throughout time toward particular people that I have considered as ‘famous’ and ‘well known’ to be ‘out of reach’ people and me considering having a discussion with them something extravagant, meaning going ‘out of reason’ of what I would consider would be ‘suitable’ for me, which is all existent as a scheme of values that I’ve placed toward myself and others, which is unacceptable as the starting point of the whole thing is actually to promote and create a more equal society.

In this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to actually experience a tinge of fear of having a discussion with someone that I had previously somewhat antagonized and in this, I realized that my previous stance toward basically everyone that did not agree with how I saw solutions should be was that of rather continuous criticism, which obviously will lead us nowhere and so

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to actually fear that my previous criticism and mockery toward the movement that this person stands for comes back to me in the form of the person rejecting my invitation for a live discussion – in this I realize that the actual fear is that the person could use what I previously said against me and against this renewed effort to rather work together. I realize that in this I have to first forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to criticize an individual’s work and overall movement as a non-working solution, without realizing that yes we all make mistakes and what I have learned throughout these years is precisely to not create enemies, but rather be able to find a common ground and that’s my current stance. Therefore I hereby declare that I have forgiven myself for having created antagonism toward other individuals that didn’t ‘suit’ my perceptions and ideas and plans for what I define as ‘real change,’ and now that we are coming to a common ground, it seems possible that we can in fact then advocate for the same principle, which is cool and in this ultimately it’s about me being clear on where I stand in relation to this individual and the movement he stands for itself, wherein I am willing to accept my past perceptions and mistakes and so be willing to obviously start anew as this is what we all require to do in the world: to forgive ourselves for our assumptions and judgments made toward ourselves and others in order to start from scratch and building relationships that go beyond ego or ‘who’s right’ and ‘who’s wrong,’ but rather get to work together as equals.

Ultimately in all of this, I realize how my own perceptions, beliefs and past ‘trespasses’ could create a limitation in expanding toward working and contacting people that I consider are now aligning more and more with the solutions we also advocate – and so it is absolutely necessary to stop ourselves as ego from becoming an obstacle in the development that we can in fact carry out for the betterment not only of ‘ourselves’ as individuals, but for the causes that we actually stand for – this means: principle must always override any ego.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to impose a sense of ‘not being up to the height’ of another and believing that ‘the person would not want to discuss with me’ because of me not having a particular ‘popular’ stance or reputation or believing that I would require to have some sense of ‘official recognition’ in order to be able to invite certain individuals, as if there was like this ‘scale of values’ that one would have to gather in order to do so. I realize that this limitation is absolutely something built over my own perceptions toward people based on their knowledge, their information, their careers and professions, their relationships, their leadership positions and within that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give more weight to knowledge, information, careers, relationships with what I have defined as ‘important people’ and within this create a limitation of ‘who I would be capable and able to establish a conversation with’ based on who I perceive them to be or what I would perceive they would think if a ‘regular person’ like me asks them for an interview.

In this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use terms like ‘being a regular person’ or a ‘mortal’ meaning a person that has no ‘laureate’ from the system or that has a specific recognition or validation at system level in relation to the topics I want to discuss, wherein I then create the usual trap of ‘not being qualified’ at the eyes of others, which is part of the problem we have co-created in our society wherein we believe that one is only ‘capable’ if you are given a ‘license’ as a permission and validation that you in fact ‘know’ about something, all part of the same system of credentials and values that exist and that yes, are required at the moment in the system – but this does not diminish someone’s ability and capacity to do the same or even more than what a person with a license has.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that others would only accept or consider me to be reliable if I had some sort of recognition ‘out in the system’ so that a person then would not reject an interview with me – and within this I forgive myself that I have actually accepted and allowed myself to assume what a person would ‘expect of me’ or the kind of ‘licenses’ they would expect me to have or the amount of knowledge that ‘they would want me to have’ in order to have a conversation with them, which is all, once again, speculation and ideas based on how I have seen for example the academic world operates in hierarchical levels wherein for example teachers and their apprentices are seen as ‘more than’ any other individual in the same institution.

This actually comes from my own experiences of imposing a superior value to people in academia in fact, people that I have considered as ‘too way up in the academic world’ and that I’ve perceived that everyone reveres to them, and that they are ‘not up for just any regular chat’ which I then realized it was false once that I got to know ‘important people’ that one would see on TV or in high academic circles and at the same time seeing them in their regular life just like any other ‘mortal’ therefore

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to having carried this idea of some people being ‘holier than thou’ based on my perception of the person being ‘famous’ or ‘well known’ or having some kind of ‘important academic position’ or being ‘an artist’ or else, who are all the individuals that I placed as ‘more than myself’ including politicians of course and probably kings just because of the whole propaganda and brainwashing that is created based on the amount of ‘importance’ we believe we must give certain individuals and ‘feel’ different toward them as well, instead of realizing we are in fact equals and no amount of knowledge and information should make anyone ‘holier’ than another as it’s all based on mind values, on knowledge and information and yes, we are ultimately all made of flesh and bones and are all mortals in fact.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever learn from my family how to behave with ‘well known individuals’ and politics and people that I have considered as ‘rich’ and ‘very important people’ – apparently – that I kind of learned that I should revere in a way, and act even more service-like which is absolutely – excuse the word – fucked up. I realize that this comes from me witnessing how my family would revere to politicians whenever they would come to parties and kind of even change their stance to appear more service-like and ‘affable’ and ‘giving them the keys to their house’ so to speak, as if these individuals were ‘more’ than any other guest in the house. This comes of course from the imposition of value/power/authority and even ‘fame’ and recognition to particular individuals based on the position that they have in society for example – therefore

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that I should get even ‘nervous’ or up to the expectation of having someone ‘popular’ or ‘famous’ or ‘well known’ talking with me because of imposing the same experiences that I got from witnessing my family and how they would behave with ‘important people’ like artists or politicians and within this, copy the exact same experience that I would perceive others would have around these people, which was that of excitement, nervousness and wanting everything to be ‘top notch’ FOR THEM, which is the whole ‘service-like’ attitude that I learned one ‘should have’ when dealing with someone that is considered famous, more important or – god, dare I say – more valuable than others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still see a person that is ‘well known’ through the eyes of knowledge and information, through the eyes of the mind wherein I see a person based on the amount of recognition, fame, perceived authority based on the position they occupy or else and within this forget about equality because I still place this veil of ‘importance’ over others, which is of course unacceptable as I realize that we are all in fact one and equal and that we have in fact consolidated and continued to accept the current status quo based on this mind-hierarchy that we act out almost ‘by default’ toward perceived important/famous people, which is unacceptable.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever see some of those ‘famous individuals’ as ‘more than myself’ and this comes from the time when I would approach any artist for example and request their autograph as a child and how excited I would get from these experiences, because I learned that people that were on TV then ‘were more famous than’ anyone else therefore associating value with ‘being on TV’ or any other ‘well known position,’ which implies immediately placing myself as ‘not up to that height’ so to speak – but really, all of these ideas of importance, height, prestige, fame, recognition are all values that I have associated with a ‘superiority’ instead of realizing that they are in fact words that denote the actual work and life experience as well as trajectory that an individual or group of individuals have crated throughout their life to get to certain positions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to add a positive and superiority value to the word ‘prestige’ wherein the fact that someone can be well known, respected and has achieved quite a lot in their life becomes an ‘added value’ in my perception and thus placing myself as ‘less than’ them based on such achievements, which I realize is a point of self-separation when one identifies oneself or another based on the amount of knowledge and information they have or ‘how’ other individuals perceive them, which is all seen through the mind’s eye.

 

Instead prestige is simply recognizing the well-known work and recognition of an individual’s life experience and contributions wherein their work  and their deeds speak by themselves and as such widespread recognition and respect is an outflow of their life, their work and contributions being supportive for others as well, which is definitely what we should all direct ourselves to aim at being and becoming in our lives, to leave our lifetime of supporting to create a world that is best for all, and so live self-respect, which means that someone’s work and recognition becomes their own life and what they say/do and act on, which is nothing more or nothing less than life, it is simply an example that we can learn from and so also see as the potential that exists within each one of us.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate the word ‘fame’ with an experience of superiority and ‘more than’ others comparison, instead of realizing that fame as being known or being excellent in something is not an ‘added value’ to another individual, but simply what they have achieved through their own direction and creation – whether it is for ‘good fame’ or ‘bad fame’ it is simply the general perception of ‘who another is’ based on their words and actions. Therefore, there is no need to add an experience to fame or who am I toward perceived ‘famous people’ because it is simply recognizing another’s life, trajectory, expertise and/or mastering in certain fields as yet another example of what we can do and become if we are equally diligent in the work and dedication to achieve something, which is a general trait that ‘famous people’ get to do, whether it is for constructive or destructive outcomes.

Of course the way to live fame a constructive type of fame is to become well known by one’s living example of being a solution to the world instead of a destructive role model for sure, so in that our own perceived ‘values’ over one another would have to veer toward valuing as in recognizing another individual as an example of our own potential based on how one lives by principles that recognize our equality and that consider at all times what is best for all.

Therefore, it is not to see these words of prestige, fame, recognition as a synonym of ‘superiority’ at all, but rather seeing them as the result and consolidation of their names as public figures based on the actual work they do, based on how they have contributed to the common good, which is ultimately someone that I can definitely say is respectable and for sure someone that should be recognized by all people for what they’ve done/ achieved in their lifetime. This is then the physical living and work talking for itself, which doesn’t make the person ‘more’ than another either, but simply realizing that yes they have done the actual work, they have done the actual walking of a particular point that took them to be in a certain position that they are in the world system.

 

 

 

It is interesting how even culturally we learn how to create a particular excitement or even fear when being around a particular ‘famous person,’ as if they were in fact having this ‘divine aura’ around them which doesn’t make sense as they are just humans too. Sure, one can have a particular fondness toward another individual but ultimately any person that does believe that they are ‘superior’ to others based on their fame, their work, their knowledge and information, their lifetime experience is in fact then acting from ego, and as such it is for sure their point to ultimately realize. But here, my point of self-responsibility is to ensure that I am not the one that is coming from/approaching another based on these value-systems that have led us to continue stratifying our society – this is unacceptable.

So, the corrective process is that when and as I see myself going into any slight refraction of a doubt when it comes to my ability and capability of approaching a person that I have defined as ‘important’ or ‘well known’ I make sure I identify what is it exactly that is creating the shift so that I can see what fear or what expectation came up that created such experience, and so I bring myself to the awareness that we are all human beings and there is no one ‘more than’ or ‘less than’ and so I should not place my mind’s eye as the ones to decide ‘who I am’ toward another or jumping into conclusions of ‘what the other people would ask of me’ but rather ensure that my decision to approach another is based on first of all, equality, support and the openness to dialogue and work together within the principle of what is best for all. I realize that I have to ensure that I do not use my past and my past experiences as a limitation toward approaching people or my fears/excitements or general ideas of ‘superior people’ as a veil for me to not act in common sense which means: being my own foundation and structure to give myself direction to do something based on the assessment of my ability and capability to do so.

In this, ‘who’ the other person is becomes irrelevant which means, my perception upon them is not to be used as a determining factor for it – this is about me assessing the benefit of such conversation, the potential supportive outcome of it that is best for all parts. Within this, is also necessary and quite valid to make a personal assessment of where I would require to sharpen up my studies and my review of information in order to be ‘up to date’ with what we could discuss in a conversation, but this does not mean that it’s also going to be some kind of ‘duel’ of knowledge and information either, because the starting point of this is precisely to share what each person gets to know of, understand and/or create as solutions that we can all share and learn from. Therefore

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I would have to be at certain level of ‘knowledge and info’ to be ‘ready’ to talk with another, which in a way it does make sense to be prepared but not to the level of ‘wanting to know it all’ already, otherwise, what would be the point of having a conversation with another if not to learn more from each other and so strengthen ourselves equally.

 

I realize that this is also the influence of the current debate programs and interview TV shows wherein some of the interviewers challenge the person they interview sometimes to the point of ‘who knows more’ or ‘who can win’ which is the whole ‘debating’ aspect that is actually detrimental to the public watching because we then recreate the notion that someone has to be absolutely right and others absolutely wrong or dismissed – instead of realizing that a conversation with people that I have not so much previous contact with should be about having them share their perspectives, learn and take what’s best as well as learn how to listen to the points that I might not agree with, however by creating an antagonism only on that we create further rifts and problems where the actual common ground can be dismissed, which is not cool, not acceptable in a world wherein it’s easier to wage wars than creating dialogues to establish ‘peace’ so to speak.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive people that have written out books or published an exorbitant amount of words as ‘more than myself’ and within this, realizing that if the starting point is placing ‘who am I’ as an individual against another individual, ego will always create a barrier and prevent me from actually expanding and rather learning from others. In this thus, I realize that I have to ensure that my own limitations carried from the past ‘learned inferiority’ toward certain individuals doesn’t become an obstacle to me actually stretching out hands and creating contact with people that I had regarded as ‘more’ than myself, and to always realize that whenever I see anyone as ‘more than myself’ I become the very continuation of the problem I am  trying to resolve which is inequality, which is the continuation of hierarchical values and the notion of ‘power’ and superiority embedded onto something/someone above ‘the rest.’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have given up at ‘first try’ after contacting certain individuals, without realizing that my approach was still coming from this already ‘made up expectation’ of ‘they won’t accept/ they won’t even reply’ or else, which is then what happened and then became a form of ‘defeatism’ in terms of trying to approach certain individuals.

In this thus my sole responsibility is to ensure that I realize that it’s not ‘me’ that is asking for that interview, it’s about me as the principle and foundation I stand for and as with the purpose of learning from others, of sharing supportive outcomes for humanity that is asking for such interview – therefore I do not have to place myself as ‘my persona’ before me when doing my job which is to establish connections and communication with people no matter ‘who’ it is.

In this, I realize this is the point to apply, a practical equality toward people and stopping my mind’s view upon others based on ‘who’ I perceive they are, and instead I commit myself to focus on their words, their work, their visible and practical solutions and contributions to society, which is what I am interested as a person that represents an organization that stands for the principle of what is best for all life.  In this I have to also recognize myself and to not ‘devalue’ me based on the perceived ‘validations’ I would require to ‘make me/my words/what I stand for’ as ‘valid’ or ‘recognizable’ in the world system, as I realize that there is currently no such ‘validation’ and due importance given to the consideration and realization of life in equality, of supporting one another, of truly working together for best for all outcomes and so , how can I expect me/us to have such ‘recognition’ in a world that recognizes and places fame on the exact opposite?

There’s no visible honoring toward life yet so we have to build it from scratch so I commit myself to stop expecting some form of ‘validation’ or ‘recognition’ or ‘credits’ in order to give further steps of expansion within myself and my process of communicating with others – and instead rather recognize that it is our own work, our own consistency and dedication that which makes us valuable as the principles that we stand and live by – ultimately that’s just the value of life for life and that’s rather what I decide to dedicate myself to honor, to honor life not world-system credentials and ‘values’ placed in separation of who we really are as equals, which is also what’s worth while supporting and sharing with others.

 

I commit myself to imposing money-talk to others too wherein I value others based on ideas related to energy and money, which is not who we really are and so I rather develop a communication based on living principles where equality stands as our undeniable common ground to work on.

 

All Life Is Equal

 

Read people recognizing Life in Equality in the 7 Year Journey to Life blogs

 

The Free Desteni I Process Lite course is a first platform of self-support to learn more about ourselves, our mind and understand how we can practically improve our potentials and skills.

 

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202. Optimism as a Sign of Success

 

Continuing with the Elitist Character – word of the day: Hypocrisy

 

Also suggest exploring my previous approach to  Day 39: Hypocrisy which is the precise word I woke up with this morning, which taps into the ‘good person’ character tied to the Elitist character.

 

Since I walked that point of hypocrisy, it becomes blatantly evident the moment that I pull out a smile just to be representing a form of optimism and within that, obtain a point of benefit with other people. It happened yesterday actually with another lady that smiled at me and I one split second I decided to smile back just to create a form of ‘warmth’ in the moment, which is part of the belief system that is quite ingrained here, not so much openly talking to each other and being ‘overtly expressive’ but just a smile on the face says it all, and I learned this and the memory that comes to mind – lol – is about my mother and she’s aware of this how I would observe her and as she was interacting with other people like in social situations, friends and so forth, she would act in a complete different way and this always concerned me, because she acted so differently toward other beings whereas she would be less ‘docile’ and ‘gentle’ when talking to us, her daughters and at home let’s say. And so because I would observe her doing this, I pointed it out to her even from a very early age like: hey have you noticed how you keep a very tight smile on your face when you’re talking to people, and then I’m talking to you and you don’t pay any attention to me?’ And she was seemingly unaware of this going on, which kind of concern me how ‘off’ she seemed every time that we were with people that we were supposed to have to behave toward them with a certain ‘class’ and ‘etiquette’ and ‘mannerisms’ that we learn almost by osmosis. I mean, I didn’t get much instructions to do that, I simply knew how things worked wherein if we were with any form of elitist/ important people – and not that I hung out with many, lol – but what I perceived people of ‘respect’ according to this system which implied someone that would do business with my father or some other important family connection – and in this, I learned ‘la politesse’ which was mostly linked to behaving in a very adamant way toward my parents when being in front of these people and looking for ways to present myself in a more  candid and jocose expression BUT moderated, because whenever I would begin feeling ‘at ease’ my  mother would start making gestures for me to keep it down/ tone it down/ keep quiet or not speak openly about certain topics, which I was a specialist for, I mean I’m talking about being 5-6 years old and very much living out the pattern of wanting all the attention from people in a not so direct manner, but slowly but surely seeking their attention.

 

These ingredients were basic foundation of the elitist character which would come up whenever I was the ‘small girl of the house’ and there was no other girl that I could compare myself to  – but only be the ‘star of the night’ and end up having people liking me, adoring me at the end of the day, which is what caused me a sense of acceptance within society – therefore, I had learned the ‘recipe’ which was smiling, being docile and gentle and optimistic and funny and all of these aspects that would make people laugh and like me. However all of this was learned from the context of relationships = the key to success in our reality. All these people we’ve met through my father’s business people which became like a second family to me and learned their ways of how to handle myself in such situations and even more so later on when having to play out other roles within the same context due to my father’s two year leadership  position in a certain association, which I will also walk through because as I’ve been writing, I can see that a lot of myself got imprinted from that time wherein I would go to these national conventions and meet all of these people and learn how to handle myself in greeting many unknown beings that I was supposed to be ‘glad to meet,’ lol  – I mean it’s quite hectic to do this when you’re 6 years old, 9- 10 and having to present this one ‘nice side’ of you the whole time, just because ‘that’s how things work.’ And all these people were also part of the group of people from which this memory that I’ve been walking in the past blogs  stem from. 

 

From all of these events and situations I was ‘put through’ at an early age, I learned how to ‘behave’ in society and create this immaculate image of myself which I later on realize even influenced my decisions in life and relationships to the extent of becoming spiteful to it all when raging against ‘the elite’ and ‘society’ in my older years – but for now, I  am speaking about the first 7 years of my life and a bit older up to the puberty phase wherein I still desired to be part of  the so called ‘elite’ within society. Even the way that I dressed obviously gave a 180 degree turn when I decided I would no longer be wanting to study to become some ‘financial advisor’/ actuary and earn lots of money to travel around the world, and choosing that ‘ideal career’ just because of how I was told I would be able to ‘handle it’ and make lots of money with it, which obviously moved my interest to be part of the elite and held such desire of becoming it until my early teens.

 

Within this, there were Several dimensions added to what I am explaining, such as ways to behave, to interact with others, the clothes that I’d wear, the gestures, mannerisms,  sometimes even the lies I had to learn how to disguise when learning ‘how things work ‘ in what is called a ‘political manner’ wherein two people can be talking bullshit about each other all the time but, when being in official meetings be smiling in photographs and standing next to each other as if nothing happened – and the same with the families that had to get along even if there was a massive massacre of gossip and lies going on behind.  From there I became very reserved about ‘my private life’ lol toward people, till this day – and also I can see some grandfather influence on that based on my entire mother’s family being mostly people that relate to ‘people in power’ and me learning about all of that and carrying some ‘flair’ even if I never really get to see a single penny of that, lol.

 

Now, this is not for the purpose of exposing anything of my family or myself – this happens really every single day and it is nothing else but the reality that we have become wherein all that is kept ‘untouched’ is a reputation that can ensure money is always on your pocket/ bank account, and how even if I questioned such ‘conditions’ of people being hypocrite to each other, I was told that that’s how it works and that coming up with the truth or creating a disruption based on disagreeing with others could lead to a rupture in the entire association – and within that I learned that people had to keep a mask on in order to succeed, to survive whatever situation they were in. This was though in terms of handling situations/ businesses and associations at national level, which was of great pressure for my father which I took personal and actually developed quite an anxious personality when having to behave myself in such moments/ events when being participating along in these reunions – and I’m talking about being  9.- 10 years old and I would take the whole thing too seriously I’d say, wherein I knew exactly what was being spoken about this and that person, yet we had to sit with them and share the table while having to put up a smile on my face all the time, even though we all knew we could not really ‘bear our guts’ due to the unspoken problems and situations going ‘underneath the current’ which were not being confronted between families and were kept as a ‘thing of males’ that had to be sorted out in secret meetings/ in private.

 

So, this is a basic layout of an aspect of my life that I had side viewed for quite some time and within that also being permanently used to having some form of benefit that lead us to have a ‘piece of heaven’ every now and then, which made the whole act of pretending quite worth it according to the morals I had learned throughout these years of course – there was no consideration of any form of equality or ‘giving to all’ implied other than my father teaching me how to administrate money and make the economy ‘roll’ by consuming/ buying and within that, not hoarding the money but supporting others through you buying them.

 

I realize that this became an important aspect for me to consider due to the age that I was when I got to be exposed to ‘the ways of the world of success’ and essentially learning with great ease how I could just present myself in a definitive positive way as a happy educated considerate respectful girl that would be ‘accepted’ everywhere due to that, eventually learning quite well how to manipulate people to my own benefit of course and in all of this, was I even considering why only ‘I’ had the opportunity of having such moments of ‘bliss’ and ‘nice life’ even indirect experiences wherein just by ‘association’ I was able to get a good treatment, a point of favoritism or preference, which became a constant point that I sought to maintain, not being ‘part of the mass’ but standing out one way or another, which became my inherent desire to be apparently –lol – original and unique and all of that which became quite strong when being my teens and even rebelling to all of these ‘treats’ in order to ‘stand out’ even from the patterns and expectations that I believed I was being expected to fulfill within my family.

And so that also ended when I realized that not the good or the opposite antagonist character was actually me, obviously, but that I simply had to stop acting out a character only for the sake of my own benefit in any/ all areas of my life, and dare to see who I am without me supporting such characters. Obviously I am speaking about getting to Desteni and beginning to see what I had become – and in this realizing that it is not about not smiling or not having relationships or not wanting to participate in the system – no, it is all about the starting point of what I decide to be and become within the consideration at all times of that which I participate in  being what is best for all in all ways.

 

So, what I will continue debunking specifically after this ‘refresher’ for myself and what I had accepted and allowed within this façade of optimism/ positivity and general character of being a ‘good person’ in order to fit in the ‘higher society’  became part of ‘who I am’ as a constant character that would always be measuring myself and others according to the ‘level of success’ we had within the system, obviously seeing myself as ‘successful’ and expecting probably a lot from myself that was all directly linked to money – and this is part of the points that I haven’t faced within myself, how I would picture myself 10 years ago being this successful writer or working in some publication as an editor in chief or being a financial advisor – lol – I mean, it is plain to see that we are always taught to ‘aim high’ in society, but we never question why we were even only being trained to have such leadership positions while going on ‘missions to support the poor’ – I’m talking about junior high and high school in Jesuit school – and never even pondering WHY poverty exists and WHY we had to be come this type of benevolent dictators within society that would ‘manage’ and ‘administrate’ a point in our society BUT with a pinch of humanitarianism in the Jesus’ style which is more like a Jesuit style wherein money obviously plays great role in it.

 

It is fascinating how one believes that we were not influenced by seemingly ‘unimportant moments/ situations’ in life, but we were and to a great extent. Now, all of this is me ‘laying it all out’ not for the sake of exposing any organization or my family or anything else but just the patterns that we have become as society, wherein we have learned how to lie, how to keep a smile upon our face in order to be liked, accepted and within that, follow the lines of this optimistic/ positive type of approach in this capitalist world wherein it’s all about how you Present yourself as an image to others in order to get a job, get a promotion, be successful in whatever you do, learning that in order to create relationships you have to be cordial and moderately jocose toward them and keeping this ‘puffed up’ stance in order to equate yourself to a Belief of what power should ‘Feel like’ – all based on the idea of money that I have discussed and walked within Self-Forgiveness and Self Corrective Statements in order to equalize myself to my physical and the postures that I decide to implement within myself for physical support, instead of linking them to a sense of superiority/ money / power that can only exist in our minds and the entire generations we’ve lived in this world with Royals and Elite beings that we’ve learned to mimic and copycat in order to apparently ‘attain’ the same success and power they represent, which is part of the whole consumerist society trick that is in  no way acceptable, since all we have been doing is chasing the carrot on the stick with a Great Smile on our face while neglecting the reality that is HERE and being lived with billions not having anything to eat – I mean, all of this proves how we are essentially tunneled vision to disregard anyone ‘below you’ and only look ‘up and above you’ to aim to get near/ close to or equal to people in power and control in society, which is simply being and becoming part of the Elite.

 

This also obviously created a huge dissonance within me, even more so when us people from ‘the city’ would be placed to live with poor people in remote locations for a few days to learn how they live and within that, apparently gain some form of understanding and consideration toward those ‘unfortunate ones,’ but it was actually us just interrupting them in their day to day living conditions, just because of wanting to get a ‘close view’ to them as if they were specimens to be explored and studied and investigated in order to later on simply write an essay for our ‘human values’ class, and report how much we’ve learned to ‘value what we had at home’ and how we would want to ‘change their situation’ someday, but never in fact even being fully aware of how their condition is directly created by the ‘higher positions’ in society, and how without their work in the fields we would have nothing to eat, and how all the money they lacked was probably spent in order to spiff up some part of the city to attract more capital and more investment to become what my home city has become now, quite the epitome of elitism to the max, to a point wherein there are capitals stemming from drug cartels being directly poured into infrastructure, which is actually becoming a mined field, wherein criminals are now resorting to hide there in great mansions and places that are being newly built,  which reveals how far we’ve gone in our world in order to continue this idea of wealth and power wherein nowadays, trafficking guns and drugs is part of the ‘normal riches’ in society, having no scrutiny or any form of regard toward knowing where does all the money come from, which is obviously money laundry and criminal activities. All of this coming from the sheer desire to be part of the elite, to be able to survive with comfort in our reality. Are any of the 40 million poor people (or more) in this country even looked at within all of this that I just explained? – Not at all.  And this is the context for the ‘big cities’ that can afford having a ‘great life’ here in a country that also has one of the richest man in the world, which implies that the highest level of slavery also exists here in an ‘unspoken manner’ just because of essentially allowing only a few to become extra rich out of companies that obviously should be  part of the basic services that – as any other service for that matter – should be free and equally available for all, which is communication.

 

Right now, I am only able to communicate and use the internet and my phone thanks to that rich elite person – hence it is not to want to ‘oppose’ them, it is about seeing how such services must be equalized and available for all within a system that stops promoting the ‘growth’ of power/ capital for only a few that own the entire business/ infrastructure/ industry – but are taken to the point of considering how Life can thrive only in equality and how not only in this country but everywhere in the world, we can become the best living beings we were always meant to be if we stop seeking and hunting preys only for our own benefit – that is stopping viewing life with only a positive attitude of winning and instead, direct our effort to create solutions that can benefit all individuals equally.

 

I experience this as if I had exposed some part of my ‘secret religion’ lol which is interesting because of how we tend to brush aside or ‘leave out of the picture’ aspects that defined quite a lot of ‘who we are’ at the moment and how we stand within our world at the moment, which I will go explaining as I walk and continue the elitist character until it is done with implies all the hidden desire for money, for success and power that got suppressed and transformed into a retaliation toward the system, only to then realize that it is not about opposing the system, nor about seeking to ‘become a better person’ – but about transforming the system into a structure that supports all beings equally, and that is what we are proposing as the Equal Money System.

 

I realize I will also have to clear up my starting point of any form of wanting to ‘clear up my past’ toward standing for equality now, having now seen that all that I obviously initially wanted was to be part of a select few that could ‘remain having it all,’ So I realize that no guilt and no ‘clearing up act’ can be the starting point of supporting the Equal Money System – that is how radically self honest we must be in order to be able to stand in the face of everyone and be able to walk our past, our entire lives and see where and how we were only existing for that ‘piece of heaven’ that money enabled for only a few. Time to burst all the bubbles and elitist dreams – this world can only ‘afford’ Equality now.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep these memories of my past and those ‘bits of heaven’ as something positive and ‘good’ that happened in my life early on, wherein I never questioned further how the motivation of me moving toward a position of money and ‘power’ in this world was not something ‘natural’ or stemming from my ‘inherent impulse’ to become part of the elite/ people with lots of money in this world, but was based on the entire process of being exposed to the benefits and reality that people with lots of money experience, which became a part of my ‘operative system’ without me being fully aware of it, wherein I would have an immediate assessment of my reality according to money/ power/ benefits that I could get from a relationship, a situation and accordingly act and behave in order to obtain it.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to brush aside seemingly ‘unimportant aspects of my life’ that are directly linked to how I was educated and what I was exposed in terms of money and the benefits that such money brings which became part of the desire that I held throughout my life – either in a conscious or an unconscious manner – as a form of not only surviving in this world, but making ‘lots of money’ in order to have the most comfortable lifestyle that I had become aware of by the people that I would hang out with through my life

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to adopt the optimistic way of being as way to succeed in this world and within this, becoming a sociable person in my early years wherein I knew that ‘success was guaranteed’ if one satisfies another person by standing as a positive individual that has a positive stance such as smiling and speaking in the most ‘adequate’ manners, ensuring within that my acceptance or even appraisal from other beings/ mostly grown ups which made me feel like I was already paving my way to success in my future, and this was only me as a child, which also contributed to me not being used to hanging out with lots of children, but mostly being wanting to form part of the ‘adult world’ at an early age – all of this because of having learned the ways of entertainment and enjoyment that grown ups had – all of this due to being exposed to it at an early age, which lead me to ‘aim high’ within the first phase of my life to become equally successful and rich to be part of that circle of people for real, and not just ‘sporadically.’

 

When and as I see myself wanting to present myself in a positive attitude and optimistic expression from the starting point of covering up my desire to be part of an elite and or be successful by creating relationships wherein I am regarded as this positive/ responsible being, I stop and I breathe – I realize that everything that I have become is the direct outflow of learning how to survive and ‘make it’ in this world based on money – and that all that I require to do is re-direct these aspects to a best for all outcome wherein I see that it is not about now opposing the system or ‘retaliating’ about it – as I’ve done in the past – but simply insert myself within the system with this acquired points in order to benefit the most people possible in my reality as that Is what I really want to be and become, a spokesperson that can deal with all types of people in order to educate ourselves to understand how it is only through working together as Equals that we can bring forth and sustain a system that supports everyone equally, wherein no more ‘social statuses’ will exist, but only that which is best for all and for that, we have the absolute power to decide to do so now that we see and realize how detrimental to our world and reality it is to keep a system based on profit and self interest for only a few, just because of life not being regarded as equal in all ways.

 

Self Forgiveness will continue as well as Self Corrective Statement to Align myself to that which is Best for All.

 

 

Desteni

Desteni I Process

Desteni Lite Process : Enroll today, Free Online Course to learn the living skills to live in Equality

Equal Money System

 

Press the funk

Watch:

Barbara Ehrenreich – Smile or Die

 

Blogs:

 
The Series of Interviews The Soul of Money exists as a backbone and necessary material to study in order to understand the dynamics of the monetary system, economics and our individual lifestyles – a must hear to have a practical perspective on the changes necessary within this world in order to create a living condition that is best for all.

 

Suggest reading the following series by Maya Harel to understand the Desteni Message

The Correction Process and The Desteni Message (Part 1) – Day 198

The Correction Process and The Desteni Message (Part 2) – Day 199

The Correction Process and The Desteni Message (Part 3) – Day 200

The Correction Process and The Desteni Message (Part 4) – Day 201

The Correction Process and The Desteni Message (Part 5) – Day 202

 

 


201. Friends of Convenience: for a little piece of Heaven

Continuing with the Elitist Character

Continuing with Self Forgiveness, Self Corrective Statements and Self Commitments (Part 4) on the Elitist Character from the memory within the 197. Friends of Convenience post.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek to benefit from friendships and people in my environment that were in better economic positions than myself in order to enjoy their lifestyle when being at their house, even though sometimes I was not being comfortable around the people themselves, but simply held onto it because of wanting to ‘be in the place but not with the people,’ which indicates a level of compromise that I essentially manipulated myself to be and become in order to have a taste of ‘the good life’ that I perceived I didn’t have, which became only a point that I became aware of through other people since I had the necessary to live at home and lived ‘well’ – however not being used to being ‘spoiled’ and having certain ‘luxuries’ that I could have access to through other people as friends and their family that were ‘more wealthy’ than mine – within this

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate myself and my experience based on the picture presentation of the place I am in, the comfort and luxuries I can have access to wherein I actually ‘fear’ becoming so used to it when I have to go back to my house and realize that ‘my position is not as good as theirs,’ and within that, create a dissonance in my own experience according to the place I live in, the general economic position that is not as ‘wealthy’ as I wished it to be – and in that, create a point of inferiority and dissatisfaction within my self as my ‘beingness’ which indicates the level of self-manipulation I have accepted and allowed to exist within me based on ‘where I am’ and ‘with whom I am’ and allow that to determine myself and my every moment of not being here breathing, but rather limiting myself according to what I ‘see’ and ‘experience’ which are all aspects that relate to ‘who I am as the mind

 

When and as I see myself determining my beingness according to the picture presentation of the place I am being in and the people around me and define it as either ‘less than’ or ‘more than’ my own house and living condition – I stop and I breathe – I realize that the moment I allow a picture presentation and the environment to define who I am within myself, I am being subject to energy and reducing my breathing-moment of physically being here to only a good or bad experience as a the positive or negative that I had defined according to a superior or inferior position based on the amount of money one can have and experience oneself in – according to that which money can buy. I direct myself to remain breathing here as a physical living being that is self directive and not defined by pictures or people around me as all I realize that I am in this moment is here, as my physical body, as breath in stability.

 

When and as I see myself going into inferiority when experiencing myself in an environment with luxuries and ‘wealth’ and go into an inferiority mode about it, I stop and I breathe. I realize that it is all just part of the physical reality that is here and that any form of ‘moreness’ only exist as the value that we have accepted and allowed money to have in order to create such places/conditions for only a few human beings. Thus I direct myself to equalize myself to the physical reality that is nor positive or negative in itself, as these are all only human conditions imposed on the physical due to how our current monetary system functions.

 

I commit myself to equalize myself to the physical reality wherein the lie as the make-up ideals and beliefs imposed onto physicality stemming from the power we have given and created our current monetary system as, is seen as the point of inequality and abuse it represents, wherein all the majestic picture presentations of reality are mostly built upon abuse, which is unacceptable then to praise as ‘more than ourselves’ in any way whatsoever.

 

The point that emerges here is how for example we see things like ‘the great wall of China’ as something marvelous and majestic, however how many slaves had to give up their lives to build it, how many people had to literally give their entire physical force to build it and make it a reality. The same with all the great architecture of ancient times that we ponder as marvelous relics in this world, wherein we are not seeing the actual suffering and sweat spent in every single brick placed in such ‘astonishing constructions’ – and this is the principle to consider and apply to everything else that is deliberately built to imprint a point of power/ ownership and control even through constructions, houses, institutions, federal buildings, old castles, universities or entire cities that are built as the epitome of power and control in order to make a tangible representation of the amount of wealth/ money such country/ person has, which instead of being revered as something great, it should be recognized as the point of abuse it actually means.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to learn that I had to be ‘impressed’ by everything that ‘shines as gold’ and that represents having lots of money such as big houses, lots of cars, nice clothes, lots of toys, being able to travel and stay and eat in expensive places wherein the entire consideration of a ‘good life’ was imprinted within me as something that I had to ‘aim to’ and that one could only aspire to obtain through working hard – within this, becoming used to focusing on ‘fulfilling my elitist way of living’ in a future, instead of actually realizing or even considering how it is that only a few of us were being trained to become the ‘elite’ in terms of aspiring to get a higher position in society, while there were kids working on the streets with their parents because of barely having anything to eat. Within this not taking into consideration how I live and participate in a world wherein not everyone is being supported equally which implies that who we are as physical beings should aspire and actually commit ourselves to establish a world system that can support all beings equally.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to be moved by my self interest to experience myself in a position of power/ wealth when and while visiting ‘friends’ and remaining within such relationships and friendships just because of being able to go biking in the area they lived in, or jump in their trampoline, be spoiled with watching movies and playing video games that I didn’t have, or dolls that I never got as well as a general over-protection that I considered such families to give to their kids, wherein I became resentful toward my parents for not giving me ‘as much as’ I saw other parents gave to their children, which is an indication of how I essentially valued more the material aspects and that which is self-interest based than an actual sense of ‘moderation’ and common sensical administration of our day to day living at home, which meant not going over the top with any form of luxury or ‘spoiling’ the children with lots of material stuff as we learned how to simply make things work with what we had which was actually precisely the necessary items and food and requirements – though, because I would see and witness these ‘over the top’ situations in other homes, I desired to have the life of others and within that, become judgmental about my house, my parents, my financial situation and later on desiring to be part of such elitist lifestyle, leading to an eventual downfall onto the opposite and creating further disparities Just because of wanting to experience myself in a positive manner when being in ‘wealthy environment.’

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to manipulate myself and convince me of remaining within friendships and relationships that signified a point of ‘collateral financial convenience’ wherein part of the friendship became me being able to be granted gifts, and going out to eat in expensive places, and ride in luxurious cars and have people paying for my bill and experiencing myself in their houses and so forth, wherein I experienced a sense of fulfillment for having all these things, while neglecting and brushing aside the actual relationship that I was cultivating with such people being mostly ‘accepted and allowed’ as in it not being in an equal and one stand of self support, but mostly compromised myself to remain in such relationships due to valuing everything that ‘they had given me’ as something that I had to ‘pay back for,’ which implies remaining friends with them even though clear points of abuse or manipulation were existing from both sides – I would remain within it out of fear of being seen as ‘ungrateful’ due to all the benefits that I had gotten from such specific family and friend.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define my relationships as something that I ‘enjoy’ based on the amount of money I could have access to through them in a collateral way – wherein I would be invited to tag along and experience what it is to have ‘more money’ than what I had and eventually becoming used to a point of luxury and comfort in my reality that I didn’t practically own, which became a reason in the back of my head to just maintain the relationships so that I could keep on benefitting from the comfort and luxury, which is plain manipulative and an indicator of how we are willing to ‘sell ourselves’ in order to have some material benefits in our lives.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to recognize how I had also been driven by my blatant self interest to ‘move’ myself within relationships and friendships in my life , wherein I would mostly seek to remain having some form of benefit while being with them which I obviously came to ‘fear losing’ if losing/ stopping the relationship, which is what eventually had to happen in order for me to face myself alone and at home and realizing everything that I had placed value/ worth upon in separation of myself and a relationship with Me first instead of seeking to be satisfied through material aspects and relationships that I accepted and allowed myself to ‘follow through with’ even if they weren’t self supportive at all.

I realize that following self interest implies a level of self abuse, because we are not aware of who or what we are dismissing, neglecting, shoving aside and deliberately ignoring in order to only focus on that which makes us ‘happy’ and ‘positive’ which in this world, cannot exist without the negative and the abusive aspect of our reality.

Thus, when and as I see myself valuing a relationship based on the benefits I will get from a certain place or situation I will be in while being in such relationship – I stop and I breathe – I realize that establishing relationships out of convenience is not the way to go within this world and that at all times, I have to ensure that I am not compromising myself for a ‘better experience’ in my reality based on having ‘more money’ – I realize that who I am cannot be determined by the external factors of a ‘nice picture to look at’ or conditions that are defined as luxury – I remain constant and consistent no matter where I live and who I am living with, which indicates that all relationships and decisions I establish within my life must consider money only as a practical requirement in order to buy the necessary to live, and that the amount thereof as in having ‘more’ than what is required cannot imply a point of positive experience within me – nor the lack of it create a negative experience within me, as I would then be subject to money as a determining factor to who I am, instead of focusing on money as a single point that we currently require to buy that which enables us to live.

 

When and as I see myself seeking only to satisfy my convenience of being with particular people in particular places wherein I am only considering my well being as in my personal enjoyment of the place and the people according to the amount of money ‘running’ in the place – I stop and I breathe – I direct myself to consider doing with money that which benefits all beings equally in the particular environment we are in, wherein the point of self interest only exists as a consideration of what is best for ALL beings equally – therefore I direct myself to ensure that I am participating in an adequate manner within an environment wherein I am not taking ‘more’ than what I need,nor am I lacking what I need which would imply also a reversed for m of ‘guilt’ toward my inherent desire to ‘have more than what I have’ – thus I equalize myself to consider having that which I require to live and stick to practicality at all times with regards to my relationship with money.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to when I realized at some point that I was being a self-interested person with regards to my reality, try and prove myself otherwise by establishing relationships that did not involve obtaining any form of material benefit, going to the extreme opposite of then compromising my own money and support ‘for others’ and within this, trying to play the savior toward then and trying to make people happy the same way that I had perceived myself to be ‘made happy’ when people could give me gifts and share their ‘wealth’ with me – not realizing that I was trying to ‘make up for’ my self interest by now giving to others and eventually compromising myself and my relationship with others based on wanting to ‘give’ and creating a polarized relationship in terms of support which became unsustainable and another point to recriminate the other being about in the end, in terms of how at this point in our lives the money factor does matter in terms of establishing an equal and one agreement to support ourselves instead of wanting to only have one side of the relationship doing it all, as I’ve seen and realized to what level we compromise ourselves whenever we are not supporting ourselves independently.

 

When and as I see myself trying to ‘give’ to others that may not have money as a way to ‘make them happy’ – I stop and I breathe – I realize that deep inside I am trying to ‘clear myself’ from having been self-interested in the past without realizing that who I ma here is not defined by the past any longer, nor do I have to ‘make up for it’ in order to become a ‘better person.’ I can simply direct myself to be supportive for myself and others without any form of compromise on a monetary level as I see and realize that we still live in a world wherein the best point for each one is to be able to fend for ourselves and create relationships/ agreements based on an equal participation to do so, as I am aware of the type of consequences and further play-outs when one of the sides within the relationship is compromised with the other at a monetary level, leading to inequality and a disruption in the relationship even if the communication and support is stable, if money becomes a problem then there is no way to solve it with ‘support and understanding.’ lol

 

I realize that we have to be very practical at this stage wherein we still depend on money to survive – and within this realizing that having enough to live in a dignified manner is sufficient as I am proving myself now. However in my current situation, I see and realize that I am also denying certain things based on me wanting to ‘clear up my act’ from the past wherein I actually feared becoming so used to luxury that I would become greedy just to be able to sustain my ‘lifestyle,’ which means that whenever I am restricting myself of something such as buying something for myself or a different meal, I am actually acting out of guilt and remorse, which is not necessary – thus

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refrain from buying something for myself and some ‘practical enjoyment’ like some meal, based on this idea of me not wanting to get used to ‘luxuries’ which is almost like wanting to get used to ‘living with the least’ just in case I have to live that way the rest of my life, which is then living within a future expectation of not having enough money to live and denying my current possibility to do so in a moderate manner of course, and within this stopping the guilt and ‘clearing up act’ toward my past and my own fears of desiring to become an elitist person at all cost, which is why I was pretty much enfilading myself toward that realm of society in my early life years. Until the dream was torn apart – lol.

 

When and as I see myself refraining from giving something to myself/ buying something practical for me within the belief that I cannot ‘get used to luxuries’ I stop and I breathe, I realize that I tend to go to the extremes of first wanting to have luxuries then denying and even criticizing them, which is not the point here I mean, If and when I have the ability to give myself a treat, I allow myself to do that instead of now playing the victim of my own mind as in having been ‘greedy’ in the past and now trying to redeem myself from playing this ‘poverty bow’ that is not necessary as that would also be creating a positive experience within me out of ‘refraining’ from buying me something and becoming a ‘good being’ in my mind – thus I stop all self manipulation and direct myself to consider the practicality of spending money on this/that point for myself and as such make a decision based on the practicality of the expense and my ability to give myself something for a change and that’s it. Not making it ‘more’ than myself or fearing that I will later on want ‘more’ of it, lol, which would indicate only mind control about it.

 

I commit myself to begin valuing myself as life in every moment and accordingly stop defining ‘who I am’ based on the past or the future, and instead become used to considering the current present moment as what I am willing to give to myself and others in equality – which implies creating a moderation with regards to my relationship to money and within that, ensure that whatever I decide is always in the consideration of what is best for all in Equality. I realize that in order to live these words a point of measure is required wherein I am considering the practicality and consequential outflow of the decisions upon and with regards to money according to an actual requirement of that which must be bought and be aware of buying out of ‘buying’ which I have stopped significantly though, to a point that can be considered as ‘denying/ suppressing/ refraining’ which is not acceptable either.

 

This will certainly continue –

 

Mind control stops here:

Desteni

Desteni I Process

Desteni Lite Process : Enroll today, Free Online Course to learn the living skills to live in Equality

Equal Money System

 

entertamed

 

Blogs:

 

Must Hear Interviews related to Racism, Skin Color, the Elite and body designs in order to STOP the Inequality based on the physical aspect of our body.
The Series of Interviews The Soul of Money exists as a backbone and necessary material to study in order to understand the dynamics of the monetary system, economics and our individual lifestyles – a must hear to have a practical perspective on the changes necessary within this world in order to create a living condition that is best for all.

200. The Make-Up Reality

 

Becoming a character that is  seemingly ‘Not good enough’ requires accepting who you are as a point of limitation in comparison to others – that is accepting and allowing the enslavement of humanity as a whole not only through looks/ perceived ‘personalities’ we are, but within the context of our current monetary system that functions within the reductionism that we accept and allow as being/ becoming only an image, an amount of money in our wallets, the properties we have or don’t have, the type of ‘lifestyle’ we have, the education – all of it currently existent as an unequal consideration toward the whole that is Here as physical beings, abusing each other through this reductionism at a mind level of what is positive and negative and defining ‘who we are’ toward others based on such configuration. Unacceptable, hence walking the correction here as part of the equalization of all bodies of existence as that which is Real which is HERE as the physical.

 

Continuing with the Elitist Character

Self Forgiveness, Self Corrective Statements and Self Commitments (Part 2) on the Elitist Character from the memory within the 197. Friends of Convenience post.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow myself to feel ‘less than’ people that I could see had ‘lots of money’ wherein I immediately would go into a submission and keeping quiet mode, due to being impressed by the presentation of the beings and the house and properties, which made me believe that because they had ‘all the money they wanted’ it made them superior and better than me, which became a point of reference for me to realize that I ‘didn’t have it all’ while growing up when comparing my life to another’s life based on the amount of money that they had.

 

When and as I see myself going into an inferiority mode based on the social status and position of people in my reality and believing that I am ‘less than them’ because of not being as ‘powerful’ as them in terms of money, I stop and I breathe – I realize this allowing the definition of who I am as money/ properties to define my beingness in that moment which is unacceptable, since who we are is our physical body as the equality that we exist as, thus it makes no sense creating an experience based on comparing the ‘who I am’ as my current monetary position toward other beings. I direct myself to remain stable here as breath and not be ‘impressed’ by the pictures, words, things that I see around me and identifying them as ‘more’ than who I am.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that in order to behave the same way that the girl behaved – which I perceived as confident and overtly expressive/ extroverted, I would require the same amount of money in order to feel ‘that happy’ wherein her expression became a point that I realized I could never ‘live’ as myself because of her life having all these luxuries and ‘having it easy’ whereas I perceived myself to be in a dire situation with my family – hence ‘finding my place’ within the opposite of what I perceived her to be and represent, even if I had experienced myself in a similar mode when I was younger back then – which would be 3-5 years old, wherein the consideration of money was not yet within my concept of reality. Thus I see and realize that the comparison began at the age of 6-7 when I became aware of a significant difference in the way we live when it comes to people having lots of money, people not having as much money and people having no money at all, which was also a point that became part of my awareness at the same age.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I could never express myself with such confidence and openness because of not having as much money to ‘be happy about’ which is how I linked a confidence and ‘well being’ expression to having money – within this limiting my own expression to believe that I was doomed to never get to be ‘that happy’ as in ‘having it all’ in my life and as such, if I ever presented myself as ‘happy’ it would be phony, without realizing that no energetic experience as either happy or gloomy represent who I really am and that all of these considerations were based upon the role that I have accepted and allowed money to have within me, wherein I feel ‘content’ if I have everything I require and go into worry and concern if money is being a problem as in ‘not having money.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself as being ‘intimidated’ around people that I considered were ‘richer’ and ‘more’ than me due to having lots of money, instead of realizing that within that moment I was allowing myself to believe that ‘I am my money, I am my properties, I am my looks only’ – and in this, compare myself to others as a way to justify and validate my inner experience of ‘intimidation’ and a belief of never in my life being able to ‘equalize’ myself to them because of how I look, the money that I had and the entire context I lived within in comparison to those that were fortunate and having the ‘perfect looks’ according to how I judged other beings in such positions to be like.

 

When and as I see myself defining my ‘beingness’ according to the amount of money that I have and believing that I cannot be ‘here’ and stable when not having money – I stop and I breathe – I realize  that the polarity of being happy and concerned when having and not having money respectively is based on the perception of other people’s mood and beingness in relation to money that I accepted as ‘how things are/ how I should behave as well,’ which is unacceptable when considering how we have defined this entire world according to a positive and a negative represented mostly by a have/ have not situation of money.

 

I commit myself to stop defining ‘who I am’ according to the money that I have or that I don’t have, and instead dedicate myself to be part of the solution to this current monetary system to ensure that all that remains as monetary system can be a equality system where all life can be considered as equal and where no more worry, concern and distress exist due to lacking money to live – and the opposite no overtly positive attitudes exist as all the happiness, bliss and joy that is created directly from the ‘confidence’ that money brings when having enough or more than enough of it to live. This is within the realization that within Equality as Life there are no positives or negatives – hence the equalization of Money as Life within the Equal Money System, implies removing any lack and removing any excess in order to ensure that everyone has equal access and as such learn how to live moderated and regulated living conditions that support all and harm no one.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to consider that standing up with a very straight back means superiority and a confidence that can only exist if you have ‘something to be confident about’ which I linked to money, properties, looks and ability to express/ interact with others, wherein this girl became my first impression of what it was to have a ‘perfect life’ and linking all of this to a physical stance of ‘standing with a perfectly straight back’ –

 

I realize I imprinted within me with that particular moment of being at this girl’s house and watching her/ admiring her expression and physical gestures and mannerisms which I linked to the confidence that money brings, the ‘good education’ from parents that were part of elites from generations back, and within this all compare myself to her and believe that ‘I did not have the right to stand up straight’ because of not being as ‘graced’ with looks, not having the money to back up my belief of confidence linked to money/ properties, nor did I consider that I could be as expressive as her within such refined manners – all of this becoming something I would essentially evolve and develop into my own ‘antagonist character’ that I created myself in opposition to, in order to justify my perceived inability to be as expressive, to stand as straight, to walk and interact with such openness – and instead went into the opposite as in being mostly hunching my back, hiding myself in social situations, not wanting to interact a lot and most of all, judging every person that I would see standing, moving and expressing in similar ways within the same category of them being ‘conceited, spoiled, rich girls’ that I simply could not compare myself to due to all of the reasons around looks and money, and in this, believing that ‘my place’ in the world was simply to never be as perfect and always stand as a rather ‘opposition’ to these girls and find my ‘happiness point’ within that.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge a beings’ expression as conceited, arrogant, proud, spoiled and overtly expressive as an indication of having lots of money to be ‘happy’ about, without realizing how it is all part of the design wherein people with money would mostly feel ‘okay’ within their bodies and expression so that their inner conflict related to ‘body’ and ‘who they are’ would not tamper their focus on their world-system functions linked to money – therefore, I see and realize that the moment that I accept such expression as ‘more’ than myself, I am accepting the power of money equally as ‘more than myself’ instead of realizing that how we present ourselves and how we look and the money we have is only linked to who we are within this consciousness reality that is currently moved and directed by money, which is a point of inequality and representing the abuse of life at the moment – thus I cannot allow myself to be ‘impressed’ or ‘affected’ by a picture presentation, mannerism and general expression of elite beings that have been designed to present such expression and such experiences of confidence and ‘superiority’ that are inherently linked to a particular position in the world system.

 

I realize that the way to stop giving a point of ‘power’ to money in this unequal manner, is to stop defining people according to how they look, express and ‘are’ in relation to the amount of money they have and as such, focus on the physicality that we are all existent as, wherein there is no ‘more’ than physical bodies that function the exact same way in every one and that we certainly have to equalize in this world within a world system that stops complying to a seemingly ‘superior position’ that can only exist as the ‘power’ we have all agreed to endow money with, which is currently an abusive relationship toward life.

 

When and as I see myself linking standing with a straight back with an Experience of Superiority as a confidence that can only be obtained through having lots of money hence being spoiled and conceited/ having something to be ‘proud of’ – I stop and I breathe –  I realize that standing up straight is a physical position that is supportive for my back and that in no way requires any ‘concept’ behind to allow myself to stand with a straight pose.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to link a ‘straight pose’ to being a ‘poser’ and ‘phony’ because of how I believed that only people with money/ power/ fame/ fortune could ‘afford’ to stand in such a manner, which is how every time that I was suggested to walk with a straight back, I would not do it because of believing that I had ‘nothing to feel superior/ proud of’ which is how I existed as the belittlement of myself, and getting to the point of tears every time that people would say that I had to stand up straight and believing that I just could not do it because I was not ‘perfect’ – hence

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to walk with a straight back as a synonym of ‘physical perfection’ that I separated myself from based on the idea of only ‘catch penny girls = rich, spoiled, good looking, confident girls’ being able to stand within such a position and expression, which is how I limited and separated myself from the ability to stand up straight without having an experience of being ‘off place’ and ‘phony’ and ‘wannabe’ essentially – thus

 

When and as I see myself creating an experience of me when standing up straight as being a poser, a wannabe or plain phony, I stop and I breathe –  I direct myself to support my physical body focusing on my standing position and realizing that a physical posture cannot define ‘who I am’ within as my inner experience, but only represents a point of physical support for my body.

 

I commit myself to stop believing that there are certain physical poses and ways of ‘carrying oneself’ that are only able to be ‘lived out/ expressed’ by people that have particular body features or a certain configuration of ‘who they are’ linked to power/ money/ fame, and instead allow myself to equalize my physical expression to that which I see is best to ‘exist as’ within the physical consideration of myself as a physical being –that’s it.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to immediately categorize beings according to ‘how they move/ express and talk’ as a way to define the amount of money they have, wherein I would immediately assess whether I would want to create/ establish relationships with them in order to ‘better’ myself through them as in getting along with ‘rich people’ who I considered as ‘less troubled people,’ and avoiding having relationships/ friendships with people that had less money as I considered them as being insecure and quiet and ostracized which I  felt mostly ‘sorry’ for and within this experience, rather deciding to get along with people I did not have to ‘feel bad about’ and as such, focus on having what I defined as ‘positive people’ because they had a fair economic situation at home.

 

When and as I see myself defining ‘who a being is’ based on how they move/ express themselves and categorizing them as either positive or negative and according to that ‘making up my mind’ in relation to ‘who I will be’ toward them, which is how we perpetuate the inequality between all human beings when seeing the person as the ‘character’ that they have become as the configuration that exists as a predisposition to the being according to the mind, the social and economical context which is the make-up as consciousness that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to define ourselves as, which is Not life in equality – but a system to deliberately create separation, disparity and further friction and conflict when comparing one to another.

 

I commit myself to stop the inequality between all beings according to how I define them based on looks, ways of expressing, vocabulary, education as I realize that all of this is valuing knowledge and information as ‘who we are’ which is unacceptable – All beings are equal as the physicality that we all represent and being guided by a point of expression, a physical appearance or any other attribute that we obtain from another through our senses must be immediately assessed as part of the ‘make-up’ within this reality that was meant to brew separation – thus it is not who we really are as physical beings that function the exact same way at a physical level.

 

The inequality between all bodies of existence begins and ends within me.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create my own elitism at an early age during primary school wherein I began avoiding being around/ being friends with people that I considered as quiet and reserved and mostly ‘insecure’ as a way to identify that they were probably having a ‘tough situation at home’ which would imply that me in such relationships as friendships would have to go through all the ‘bad stuff’ of ‘dealing’ with them, thus I sought to instead be with people that could allow me to experience myself as a point of happiness, joy and even more ‘comfort’ than at home due to what they had, which is becoming prone to seek for relationships that could ensure I could have a ‘good life’ in one way or another, even if at home it wasn’t necessarily so at the time.

 

When and as I see myself defining people as either positive or negative based on the amount of money that they have and wanting to avoid ‘negative people’ at  all cost – lol – I stop and I breathe – I realize that this would be me giving power to money as an acceptable attribute/ lack to define a being’s ‘beingness’ which is Not who they Really are as physical beings that exist in an equal manner as everyone else in this reality. Thus I direct myself to treat all beings equally regardless of how they look, how they express themselves, their choice of words, their appearance, their properties or general ‘beingness’ as I realize that this is the configuration of the being we se through the Eyes of the Mind and as such, meant to brew separation.

 

I direct myself to equalize my expression to also ensure my own words, stance and expression do not veer toward a compensation toward what I see they ‘lack’ or a compensation toward that which I see they are ‘doing a lot of’ – ex. such as talking ‘more’ with a being that is not as talkative and talk less when being with a being that ‘talks a lot’ and instead, equalize myself to at all times simply consider my expression in the moment when necessary, and not as a ‘counter act’ to the people I am relating myself to.  I see and realize how within the moment that I allow a single point of expression in another to determine and define ‘who I am’ toward other beings’ is allowing me to become a ‘counter balancing act’ toward another character and in that, allowing them to be reduced to a single character. Therefore I direct myself to be the example of what it is to live and exist as an equalized expression that considers a physical communication in equality, in the moment wherein no pictures, no backgrounds, no possessions, no colors exist as a mask to talk through/ express through.

 

I commit myself to stop reducing people to ‘who they are’ as knowledge and information translated to social positions, picture presentation, properties, lacks and what I perceive as positive or negative which can only exist as the ‘masks’ that we’ve worn in order to create an unequal reality based on Money.

 

(To be continued)

Mind control stops here:

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Must Hear Interviews related to Racism, Skin Color, the Elite and body designs in order to STOP the Inequality based on the physical aspect of our body.
The Series of Interviews The Soul of Money exists as a backbone and necessary material to study in order to understand the dynamics of the monetary system, economics and our individual lifestyles  – a must hear to have a practical perspective on the changes necessary within this world in order to create a living condition that is best for all.

 


199. You Hate the Beautiful People?

Find out why and start considering where you initially wanted to be one of them.

Continuation to the Elitist Character

(I will continue in the following post with the Self Corrective Statements and Self Commitments –Part 2 on the Elitist Character from the memory within the 197. Friends of Convenience post. For now a clearer point emerged while listening to the Interviews* listed at the bottom of the page that I require to give immediate direction to)

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge rich people as patronizing everyone with arrogance, being conceited and prepotent wherein I immediate took their expression personal to diminish myself when being in their presence because of perceiving myself as having ‘nothing’ to boast about, nothing to back up an actual ‘confidence’ as the one that I would see people with money/ the girl and family in the particular memory represented as ‘the elite’ and my first encounter with a ‘wealthy lifestyle,’ wherein I then immediately assessed that my position, my way of being toward them would always be that of being inferior because of not having as much money as they did, not having the same type of clothes that they did, the house, the cars, the exuberant garden and the general area and school they attended to and their general social status and education that represented the money that only a few in this world have in order to have a real optimum position in the world system.

 

I realize that I have projected these judgments toward people within a ‘superiority’ wherein I would immediately take their stance/ attitude as personal as a form of ‘superiority’ being imposed onto myself, without realizing that every and all experiences I generated toward them such as going into intimidation, belittling, inferiority were caused by my acceptance and allowance of such ‘power’ being ‘real’ according to my belief of money giving the beings the power and success that was only for some, wherein I then created a inferiority based on not having as much money, not having that perfect life – or what I assessed looked like on – not having the particular looks of the people and as such, believe that I was ‘damned by god’ and there was nothing I could do, without realizing that this is part of a specific world-system functioning and design wherein some beings were specifically given attributes in order to remain in such elitist positions, where as the rest of the human beings had to be left struggling with money, image presentation and the entire configuration of our lives as ‘less than’ when comparing ‘who we are’ as our money, as our bodies/ physical appearance and general social status to an elitist being/ rich people.

 

When and as I see myself judging people with money as prepotent, arrogant, being patronizing me and experiencing myself within an immediate ‘inferior’ position – I stop and I breathe – I direct myself to communicate, be with them as who they are, as human beings of flesh and bones wherein at a physical level is at all times equal and as such, I ensure I stand one and equal to them in my physical stance and remaining breathing to ensure that I remain within the physical context of the conversation.

 

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to identify ‘who I am’ toward others based on money and a general ‘beingness’ that I considered as ‘real’ within them being ‘superior’ with all of these attitudes because they had apparently something to ‘feel more powerful’ about – which is money – and from there on, creating this inherent belittling and self diminishment toward myself in all aspects in my reality whenever the point of Money would indicate me that I wasn’t a ‘rich person’ and that because of that, I was immediately on a lesser position and as such, unfulfilled and ‘not as graced’/ lucky/ fortunate as them, creating a point of envy and jealousy toward people that to my eyes at that age ‘had it all.’ 

 

When and as I see myself identifying ‘who I am’ based on the amount of money that I have and comparing myself/ my position to others that have a lot of money and go into envy/jealousy for them ‘having it all’ I stop and I breathe – I direct myself to remain grounded within the realization that who we are as physical beings is equal and one and that all disparity caused by the amount of money we have, the looks, the ‘power’ over reality is nothing else but the consequential outflow of who we have become as the mind neglecting the physical reality, which implies that any form of ‘disparity’ only exists within the context of this world system where money defines who has a rich/ elitist life and who doesn’t. 

I realize that any separation that is existent within this world exists at a mind level, which is how money as the externalization of the relationship that exists between the mind and the physical, means that money is the externalization of the justified abuse upon this reality to create a polarized society wherein some have all the money and others have non.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create a grudge toward rich people based on what I perceived as superiority and power within them based on the amount of money they had, the looks, the convenient relationships and privileges that they would get just because of ‘being from the elite,’ which I then was experienced as a form of being damned/ cursed by a ‘god’ that simply didn’t want me/ my family being that rich and powerful and good looking and having it all essentially, which remained as a Quiet grudge and constant inherent experience of ‘injustice’ and irritation and even anger toward people with money, wherein I started mimicking their attitude as arrogance and a sense of superiority just to be able to ‘cope’ with my inner inferiority and sense of ‘victimization’ toward rich people/ elitist people based on the constant comparison I would do of ‘who they are’ and ‘who I am’ as money.

 

When and as I see myself creating an experience within myself of superiority and ‘equalizing’ my physical stance toward people that I perceive as ‘more than me’ because of the amount of money they have/ their position in society – I stop and I breathe – I realize that this is a coping mechanism in order to camouflage my unsorted inferiority toward them basing my self definition as ‘not having as much money/ not being rich/ not being powerful’ and in that, create a physical experience of myself as being ‘equal to that power’ based on/ stemming from this inherent inferiority thus

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to always have denied that I experienced inferiority toward people with money, because of Always having projected my own friction and conflict about this onto them and ‘blaming them’ for being arrogant and spoiled and conceited, not realizing that my assessment of them as being such characters, stemmed from my own desire to actually have what they have, look the way they look and generally having their lives, wherein the way to victimize myself was making myself experience some form of ‘discomfort’ as if ‘they’ were doing something onto me, instead of me taking responsibility for what I was experiencing toward them in my mind and actually see how I could only judge another as their money or their looks if I have defined myself only as my money and looks and everything that is bought and stemming only from these two points that I have equated to ‘power’ in this world.

 

When and as I see myself going into victimization as an experience of ‘injustice’ when hearing, seeing, witnessing events wherein money is being spent by people in what I have defined as menial points/ shallow expenses, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am only judging them because of me actually having desired to have the same amount of money and probably do the same – thus I see that all the judgment that I would project onto rich people stems from my own inferiority and sense of it all being ‘unjust’. Thus I stop the ‘unjust’ experience and direct myself to rather see how the problem in our society is stemming from how money is currently determining a being’s living conditions in unequal proportions ,which is then how I direct myself to simply remain breathing whenever I witness these events of purchasing, shopping or spending lots of money with ‘no consideration,’ as I realize that in order for a being to have further considerations about money and the current world system, education is required and an actual dialogue would be required to allow people with money to understand how we can only change this world if they realize how such privileges as in being rich/ from the elite, are equalized to more people – and this must be done as part of our current participation within the world system as I see and realize that No opposition and no fighting against the elite will Ever work out  to create a solution – and within this, something that I realized yesterday and is very present here today:

 

I commit myself to educate myself to the T of how this world system works, so that I can explain and share and communicate with beings within elitist positions about the importance of equalizing the living conditions in this world in order to establish an actual harmony/ peace on Earth within the implementation of a new economic system that will change the way life is lived on Earth, wherein it is not about ‘losing power’ but actually realizing how such power was only existent and possible because of the abuse that such ‘powerful’ positions represented on Earth as something acceptable, without considering that as an organism, we all require to be equally supported in order for this entire world to continue going, and as such, commit myself to take this point to its last consequences  which means, do whatever it is necessary to be done to educate myself and others about the Equality Equation of the Equal Money System 

 

I realize that in order to do this, I must stand as one and equal to these beings wherein there is not a single experience toward them as being ‘more’ than myself in any way whatsoever, so that the communication is always existing at a physical equal and one level, not influenced by their current ‘characterization’ within society based on the perceived power they have based on money, as I understand how money exists and it is in fact the other way around of how money is perceived as a ‘good/ positive thing’ when having it, while in fact it represent the very reversal of life at the moment which is one of the points that must be understood by people with money, to understand he direct relationship we all hold toward this world system based on us having agreed to have Money as it does and currently exist within our world system of capitalism.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the position of an elitist being as something ‘real’ within the context of the person being gifted with such benefit as a form of grace/ actually ‘deserving’ it on Earth, which is how I created further delusions of Karma and other justifications and excuses as to why there were rich people in this world having all the money, the great looks, all the great life that seemed of absolute happiness and bliss while the rest of the population remained in poverty and extreme Lack of virtually everything required to live in a optimum condition, and as such believe that they were ‘gifted by god’ somehow for having these benefits, without realizing how it was all just part of a system that had to work like that in order to achieve the necessary conflict on Earth and striving for life in order to generate energy to actually create a ‘heaven’ that would be mostly veiled even to people in the Earth as the elite, who were/are inevitably also part of the scheme, of which we all as humans beings have to now Wake up and take responsibility for what we’ve allowed as it is in our own acceptance and allowance of such system to continue until today.

I see, realize and understand that we hold the absolute responsibility toward our creation and that any form of wealth being seen as a ‘grace’ or a ‘divine power’ over others is in fact a cunning deception that must be exposed and known on Earth in order to realize, see and understand why it is absurd to continue and perpetuate a system of extreme polarization which is what is causing the current consequential outflows not only toward people but this entire world with all beings here, that are suffering the consequences of this constant ‘search for more’ that we have linked to attaining wealth/ power/ money as a sign of happiness, bliss, joy and fulfillment, linked to consumerism, linked to looks, linked to having the ‘best lifestyle’ without ever considering What and How is such lifestyle being a possibility within this world, which is of course, only through the abuse of the ‘less fortunate ones.’

 

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to deny the fact that I had Also at some point of my life also vehemently desired to be rich and wealthy as a synonym of ‘happy life,’ wherein I had almost tried to bury and hide such phase of my life due to the judgment I held toward the ‘me’ that I was while growing up until my early teens, wherein I was pretty much worried and concerned about society, upper classes, wealth and a general desire to be part of such realm due to the close-encounters with it, and believing that ‘life was much better when having it all,’ which remained as a constant conflict whenever I realized that I wasn’t wealthy and that getting such amount of wealth was mostly impossible for my family – thus acquiring a constant experience in a non-conscious level of Not being living to my ‘upmost potential’ because of money always existing as something that is ‘there’ however in a limited manner, and not as ‘limitless’ as I would have wanted it to be.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that my position and my stance toward people with money would Always be that of being inferior, less than, never as good as them because of how I would assess that ‘they had it all’ and as such, create this entire constant ‘profiling process’ wherein I eventually would be automatically assessing who I am toward beings based on money and looks – wherein I would either place myself as superior or inferior based on these two aspects, without ever realizing how mechanism is what fed my experience of ‘not being good enough, not being as ‘good as’, not being perfect looking and al of that which I began comparing myself to and that secretly desired to be and become – however, because I simply saw myself as incapable of obtaining such power/ looks and general ‘well being’ as an elitist being, I accepted and allowed a diminishment of myself that became my physical stance, the personality I became as an ‘alternate version’ of a person that would Not seek to look ‘perfect’ but deliberately going to the opposite as in being ‘flawed’ and ‘messy’ and wearing clothes that would not attempt to match the elitist status, wherein within that, I would then remain within my own ‘safe spot’ of not wanting/attempting to ‘match’ the elitist beings, instead of confronting my actual inferiority and envy toward them, correcting myself to stop defining myself as ‘less than them’ and as such, realize how creating an alternate character as an opposition to this ‘elitist wannabe’ type of personality, was only a coping mechanism for me within society, to be accepted as ‘flawed’ and within my ‘eeriness’ just because of perceiving that I was in no way able to equate myself to ‘the beautiful people’ – lol – so I created my own alternate realm of ‘having less is more/ being ‘freaky’ and using so called intelligence in order to ‘cope with’ the lack of money and looks that I perceived made me a lesser being, which is unacceptable.

within this

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to deliberately decide to become ‘the opposite’ of some people in my reality and that I had considered as ‘aspiring elitist people’ which caused me to compare myself to them on a constant basis and as such, come up with the conclusion that I was unable to be as ‘good’ as and pretentious as them, thus, creating an entire polarity/opposite personality toward them after having tried to become like them and going into further identity crisis – lol – because I realized how I could just not see myself pursuing to be an elitist being without having the money to do so. Thus I became the opposite of what I would witness in my reality such as family and in my school/ reality, which is how I became the constant ‘opponent’ to all that perceived they represented as positivity, wealth, money, joy, bliss  – and me becoming rather negative, sulky and irritable based on my constant discomfort in my own body and the consideration of me not being able to have the money and the looks to be a ‘superior being’ according to my assessment then, which is how I then preferred to remain as the ‘opposition’ / giving up any attempt to match what I judged as prepotent and arrogant beings, all because of me not having the actual power as money and looks to be and become an elitist as them.

I realize that the inherent anger that I created about witnessing this situation on a daily basis at school lead me to accumulate layers and layers of constantly comparing myself to these ‘beautiful people’ beings wherein I decided not to try and ‘fit in’ any further’ but become just ‘my own personality’ that would deliberate be in opposition to anything elitist for that matter, as I realized that I could not in any way ‘match’ their clothes, looks, money – and as such rather remain in my ‘relegated bubble’ than trying to ‘equate them.’

In this – I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become that ‘relegation’ as ‘who I am’ developing an entire beingness of constant conflict and irritation toward ‘all things elitist’ that I would have to participate in from now and then, wherein all I would become was judgments in my mind, continuously spiting the amount of money used for this or that occasion, without realizing that in the actual depths of myself and my beingness this entire opposition was created obviously from me first having desired to have such ‘fortunate’ positions thus – within accepting my grudge and general discomfort around ‘elitist beings’ existing as the memory of myself being conceiving who I am based on the amount of money and looks that I have as a determining factor of ‘who I am’ which is not acceptable since money and looks stand only as attributes that are currently valued as the mind and in no way represent an actual equal and one consideration of who we are as physical beings in this reality, which is at all times being one and equal.

 

When and as I see myself going into judgments toward beings based on the ‘elitist positions’ they represent in my world and reality, I stop and I breathe – I realize that all the judgments I can have toward them stand as my own assessment of who I am only as money/ looks that I have compared to that of people with money and looks as ‘better than me’  – therefore, I take responsibility to equalize myself to all beings at all times and remain in a point of conviviality based on who we are as physical beings wherein no money, no skin color, no ‘looks’ and physical configuration of our physical bodies determine ‘who we are’ as those are only aspects and considerations were are seeing through the I of the MInd and in no way represent the equality and oneness that we are as life as living beings.

 

I commit myself to continue investigating all aspects of how I created this inherent belief of me being never ‘good enough’ based on the underlying constant comparison to the people that I defined as ‘having it all and being perfect’ within the consideration of money and looks that we have accepted and allowed in this world to be a point of ‘value’ in separation of who we are as life as one and equal.

 

I realize how for example protests function in a similar way wherein people ‘hate the government and the people with power’ but in fact their opposition is not really within the starting point of proposing an equal and one real benefit for all, but more like desiring to BE in such positions which is what I suggest people protesting ponder about, if the starting point of ‘rioting’ the system is in fact within the desire of establishing an equal society or just ‘bash the party’ for the elite in vengeance and spitefulness toward the elite – because if so, that, my fellow droogs, would indicate that the Evil that you see within ‘others’ in this world is definitely Also existing within you – there are no real benevolent acts in this world yet.

This will continue…

 

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Must Hear Interviews related to Racism, Skin Color, the Elite and body designs in order to STOP the Inequality based on the physical aspect of our body.
The Series of Interviews The Soul of Money exists as a backbone and necessary material to study in order to understand the dynamics of the monetary system, economics and our individual lifestyles  – a must hear to have a practical perspective on the changes necessary within this world in order to create a living condition that is best for all.

198. Wealth and Positivity a Synonym of Abuse

Continuation to the Elitist Character

Self Corrective Statements and Self Commitments for the previous posts.

When and as I see myself linking an Image and current concept of wealth to state of happiness, joy, satisfaction  – I stop and I breathe – I realize that the problem it’s not in itself is not the image in itself, but how I have accepted it as a ideal of fulfillment that can only be currently achieved in our reality based on the amount of money that one can have in order to obtain such a lifestyle/ picture presentation reality, that should not exist as an ‘exclusive’ type of living, but should in fact exist as a possibility for all human beings within the consideration of what is a dignified living, wherein no abuse to create such ‘luxury’ takes place – thus, I direct myself to realize that living is not equated to the amount of properties or money that one may have, but having the necessary means to live and as such, realize that wanting ‘more’ than that within the current configuration of this system implies greed.

I commit myself to realize that Living in this world does not mean having all the positive experiences that money can buy, as this money is currently existing as an abusive point in our reality, and within this it is to be aware of how I align myself to a living consideration of what is required in this world to live, based on what is best for all, ensuring that I remain within the current considerations of living without seeking a positive experience linked to ‘wealth’ in itself, but take into consideration the actual processes that have allowed and enabled such ‘wealth’ which at all times within this current system, implies abuse-  thus it is to Stop desiring to have a positive experience and instead, direct oneself to realize what actual living implies with having the basics to live and directing one’s life to equalize an optimum living condition for all beings on Earth.

 

When and as I see myself identifying a general positive attitude that is being presented by people such as smiling and having a general well-being based on the amount of money that they have/ the security that money represents within them, and within this Desiring to experience the same as them, I stop and I breathe. I realize that it is within this images that we seek to become that we neglect HOW such happiness/ wealth/ well being exists in this world only for a minority, while it is the majority that is enslaved to maintain/ sustain/ produce all the necessary aspects that create a ‘fulfilling life’ that only a few can afford. Thus I allow myself to realize that the picture is not Real, but it is an illusion based on the positive experience and positive energy that money creates and enables a few to have/ experience at the expense of the abuse of life, because of this current world system existing as the representation of who we have become as an energetic experience as the imposition toward that which is Physically Here as Life. 

I realize that the perfect picture representations in this world representing ‘happiness’ and ‘joy’ and ‘stability’ based on smiles, perfect picture homes and living conditions at this moment, are but incentives/ motivation factors for everyone to keep accepting the current world system ‘as is,’ without any further attempt to question it/ study it/ realize how it works, because it’s become easier to follow the positive experience of happiness/ joy that money brings than pondering why such well being must be strived for instead of unconditionally existent and given/ received by and through each other’s agreement to give to ourselves what is Best for All as a dignified living condition, that will not then be based on positive energy, but a physical constancy and consistency of being able to support All Equally.

 

 

When and as I see myself being complacent to accept the fact that one must ‘strive’ to make a living and linking the word ‘doing good’ with ‘earning lots of money’ or that one can be instantly benefitted within a particular privileged lifestyle– I stop and I breathe – I direct myself to at all times take into consideration what Lies behind the creation of wealth, how all these luxury products and a general luxurious type of living is currently only possible within a system of abuse because not everyone has equal access to it. Within this, it is to always direct myself to remain physically aware of directing my life and living considerations to that which enables me to physically live.

 

I realize that this was the imprint I got as a child in order to believe that I could only get to be fulfilled/ happy if I pursued an ultimate wealthy lifestyle that would allow me to experience the same that I saw people with money experienced within themselves, which is an energetic experience based on money that which allows such wealth and fulfilling lifestyle to be passed on from generations to generations, without having questioned until now.

 

I commit myself to expose how we’ve accepted and allowed the concept of fortune/ wealth as a positive experience,e while in fact, it cannot possibly exist/ be materialized without other beings being deliberately abused/ used in order to create a heavenly existence only for a few, which is unacceptable and as such, the passing on of wealth from generation to generation must not be an elitist-way of living only, but a general living condition within an Equality system wherein wealth won’t exist in the form of ownerships and money itself, but as the actual wealth of being able to sustain and maintain a system that will ensure that all beings are taken care of from birth to death from generation to generation, without anyone being left out of this equation.

 

When and as I see myself immediately assessing a being’s ‘status’ in terms of their picture presentation, their  vocabulary, their family, house, properties as the general ‘money-condition’ and defining who I am toward them based on them having this or not having any of this at all – I stop and I breathe –  I direct myself to treat all beings equally regardless of any indication of them having money/ not having money as I see and realize that I had been conditioned to create a divide toward people based on the amount of money they had.

I realize that any form of ‘positive quality’ within a being such as having an education, properties, ‘proper manners’ and expression abilities are in fact only characteristics that are able to be acquired by a few that have an inherent support from their families that were already existent within a position in the world system that would enable these people to have proper house, proper education, and a general well being image that is linked to a ‘well being’ in the realm of luxury and comfort, which is then something that is not readily available for us – thus any indication of valuing people according to their image presentation within the connotation of them having money/ not having money, is in fact part of the segregation and general discrimination that I had accepted and allowed based on my ideas of believing that I had to only seek to fulfill my life with the ‘positive experience’ and literally avoid/ deny/ suppress/ get away from anything or anyone that represented  the ‘not having money’ aspect of our reality.

I commit myself to equally expose and educate others as myself to understand how it is really like worshiping the Evil the moment that we are all wishing and desiring to become the epitome of the Elitist person in the world, as that ideal should be a synonym of the most abusive person in the world, based on how wealth/ money can only exist as a benefit for some while the reality that is suffering and that has no access even to the most basic goods and services, are relegated, denied, suppressed and never brought to a single question which is Why have we accepted and allowed poverty and misery as part of the a population’s living condition? And instead only focus on achieving, wanting and desiring to obtain our ‘happiness’ which is linked to money and a position of power above others within this current world system, which is unacceptable.

 

When and as I see myself linking the belief of happiness to a single property or ideal living condition, I stop and I breathe – I direct myself to realize that we’ve limited and reduced Life to being an experience based on the amount of money that one can have or not – thus I direct myself to identify this ultimate well being of perfect picture presentations as part of the abuse that we’ve all participated in while neglecting the fact that one can only ‘thrive’ in this world based on creating the most profit in any way possible, which already implies a relationship of abuse within the current world system that is Not considering such well being as a human right to every living being here.

I realize that this is the most basic form of mind control that we’ve accepted and allowed within our reality, wherein we have focused Only on pursuing our happiness through becoming wealthy/ having lots of money as the ultimate state of ‘power,’ success and satisfaction in the world, without ever questioning why it is that such well being had to be strived for instead of being readily given for all beings in equality.

 

 

When and as I see myself allowing myself to determine ‘who I am’ based on the amount of money that I have/ don’t have – I stop and I breathe – I direct myself to realize that money is currently only a point that allows me to buy that which I require to Physically live and not Mind-Experience live, which means that I direct myself to use the money in order to satisfy my needs and requirements to live.

 

I realize that defining who I am based on the amount of money I have and creating a positive or negative experience must be at all times realized as part of the inherent accepted and allowed programming of life as an experience wherein having lots of money is linked to being happy and not having money being linked to sadness/ depression – thus it is to realize that for the moment, the living conditions in this world is existent within a polarity of a majority living in a constant depression/ crisis due to money and that only a few experience such ‘confidence/ security’ based on the amount of money one has – thus, I commit myself to educate ourselves to understand how we will all only be absolutely fulfilled when we understand that we require to provide/ give equal access to the necessary resources/ goods/ services that every living being requires, as that would ensure an equal and one acceptable well being wherein we can finally stop all forms of crisis/ depression as an opposition and directly-created polarity manifestation of wealth/ happiness linked to money.

 

 

When and as I see myself being ‘unsatisfied’ with what I have based on money, I stop and I breathe – I direct myself to realize that my satisfaction resides on the ability to fulfill my basic needs such as eating, having the basic services, housing, health support if necessary and a general well being in terms of living environment, which is the basic aspects one can have a dignified living with –

I realize that this dissatisfaction can only exist in a physical reality when we don’t have enough money to eat/cover our basic needs, and that any other form of dissatisfaction can only exist based on wanting to ‘have more’ in order to have a positive experience based on having lots of money, which would be re-enacting the processes that enable this world system to continue functioning based on the instigation of a desire to fulfill – such as being wealthy – while never questioning why it is that a proper living condition is not a readily given point of support for every human being – within this,realizing that wanting more than this as a point of seeking energetic experiences is the point of abuse.

 

When and as I see myself judging people with lots of money/ wealth as being ‘more’ than myself as well as being conceited/ arrogant or identifying them with vainglory, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I can only hold a judgment toward them based on the identification of people equal to the amount of money they have, which is not a real consideration as to who the being really is as a physical being that is equal to myself – thus, I stop projecting my own spitefulness desires of having what they have and being envious about them, leading to creating a negative experience toward their attitude/ beingness and direct myself to treat them/ communicate with them as equals.

 

When and as I see myself experiencing a discomfort when being with people that currently have a wealthy position in the world system and creating a negative experience toward them – I stop and I breathe – I realize this only exists as long as I hold  a particular knowledge and information such as them being ‘wealthy’ as ‘who they are’ which is not in fact so , thus I stop seeing the person as their money and possessions– I direct myself to communicate and equalize my expression toward other beings at a physical level wherein I ensure that I stick to the practicality and physicality of the interaction on an equal one basis.

 

I commit myself to also walk the realization of how this perceived ‘power’ that others have based on the amount of money they have is stemming from a general acceptance of money as ‘power over life’ and within his, power over everyone else that would not have a similar amount of money as an actual personality that we’ve become wherein we have separated ourselves form ‘the elite’ as well and seeing them as ‘more’ than ourselves, when in fact, we are accepting the very ‘value’ of money to become more than ourselves and a such create social status that in no way stand as a consideration of all beings being equal as life.

 

I commit myself to expose how in this world, for the positive the Negative must exist and that as long as we keep valuing a ‘rich’ and ‘famous’ lifestyle as something positive as in having a lot of money, we are in fact accepting and allowing to neglect the negative/ the abuse/ the suffering that is accepted in this world as in people not having the necessary to live/ striving to make a living in order for only a few to have the positive experience of happiness/ joy/ confidence/ security/ well being that money in this current world system provides – thus it is only within the Equal Money System that we’ll be able to remove this energetic polarity as an experience created by the lack or ownership of money and instead, ensure everyone has equal access to all that is require to live in an optimum condition, as that is what we would want for ourselves, so we give it to all in equality and stop the polarization of society.

 

I commit myself to expose how it is only through the individual understanding of Equality as Self as one and equal to Life that we can in fact promote a living change in this world, as no system will do it For Us, but we have to in fact take responsibility for the disparity we’ve accepted thus far in our reality, which is mostly unacceptable based on the conditions that have been perpetuated without a question for far too long – time to Wake UP from the brainwashing of happiness, positivity, wealth and fortune as something ‘good’ in this reality within the current context of this world system.

 

More Self Corrective and Self Commitments to come…

 

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153. Life is Beautiful when You Got Money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an experience toward people walking in a mall wherein everyone seemed to be very busy and ‘happy’ in consumerism, wherein I realized that I was also becoming a character wanting to deliberately give a message with my physical movements and gestures of ‘you are all deluded,’ without realizing that such people and what they are doing is no different to what I used to do in the past, with my very own consumerist fixations while being high on the rush of ‘we have money, let’s buy the stuff that I want.’

When and as I see myself creating a deliberate stance of superiority based on diminishing all people in a mall as ‘brainless consumerist drones’ – I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am becoming only a character that is judging and opposing beings based on ‘who I am’ in my  mind/ ego/ past in such moment instead of being here unconditionally as breath, not determining who I am according to a building/ people/ environment where things are bought and sold.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that ‘Life is beautiful when you got money’ as a way to create an experience of superiority upon others when seeing myself coexisting within an environment where the world seems to be reduced to endless rows of shops and people consuming/ buying as if that is what ‘having fun’ is supposed to be about. I realize that this is me judging a single building, with stores where people buy and sell stuff that they can afford with money or not. And that is just how we have created and fabricated our current reality and within this, there is no point to judge other than seeing how a point like a mall exists within the context of our entire current world system, wherein money defines who is able to have such type of entertainment/ fun through buying/ consuming along with others on a Friday afternoon. 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pace myself around the mall, waiting for the rain to stop and wanting to present myself deliberately as someone that is Not there as ‘part of the whole consumerist/buying thing’ but out of going there for a sheer necessity in the moment, which is obviously linked to buying something as well – thus  I realize how I am only judging that which I obviously do in my every day living which is buying to consume and live, buying things that we eventually require as secondary points in our lives – and I see that I have judged this point of buying based on the amount of money that one has, wherein if I see myself having little to no money, the experience of separation toward people with lots of money is exacerbated as an inferiority that is transformed into contempt and general judgment toward ‘their lifestyles;’ and when I ever saw myself having sufficient money I could then create this experience of  ‘superiority’ based on me assessing being standing on an ‘equal-stance’ toward people that had money to buy and within this, creating this positive experience as well within me when going shopping/ buying as part of what I was taught should be our ‘fun time’ as family – for example – a decade ago.

 

When and as I see myself creating a general experience of criticism toward a particular environment wherein wealth/ money is all around and wanting to become the point that is there trying to ‘make a point’ of it all being just bullshit through how I behave and move myself around, I stop and I breathe.  I realize that we are all equally subsumed in this world system wherein buying/ consuming is part of our day to day living due to how we have condemned/ enslaved ourselves to only be able to eat, wear clothes, have proper services if we have enough money to buy it all. Thus

 

I commit myself to establish the Equal Money System to ensure that buying is no longer only a ‘positive experience’ linked to ‘having enough money’ to eat, buy and ‘have fun’ through buying secondary needs/ necessities, as I see and realize how we have created these labels onto stuff based on the amount of money as a price tag that we have imposed onto reality – thus there will be no more points of ‘luxury’ and ‘second needs’ but an actual informed decision to – first of all – produce that which is actually necessary and also cool to support our day to day living, and from there consumerism in itself will stop being ‘consumerism’ as a derogative term that it has become now within our current culture of money as positive experience – and instead, will become the single transaction of equal-money to get that which we require to live – being it first/ basic needs or that which we can call at the moment secondary needs, which will exist as products/ services that are in accordance to a genuine living-expression, which is the basic principle upon which products and services will exist in the Equal Money System.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge all things in stores as pretentious bullshit and unnecessary variety, without realizing how I have been part of this world and accepted this desire to be unique, special, original as well, which is the origin point of how all that which we consume is extrapolated to ‘the most special/ the greatest/ the most original’ item that is promoted in such ways in order to make money out of it, which is what we have enslaved ourselves to: a monetary system that requires to create ‘new needs’ in order to continue buying/ consuming and as such maintaining the flow of money as a currency/ current that is based upon abuse of this physical reality for our own benefit and pleasure.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from any being there by silently judging them as ‘oblivious to reality’ due to being there, having money to buy and ‘have fun,’ which can only exist if I have judged money, buying, fun according to knowledge and information of how there are ‘billions of people that can’t experience the shopping-high’ without realizing that in such moment of me judging the whole event and moment is doing nothing at all to solve the problem that money as a disparity in living conditions have created in our world, due to our own accepted and allowed separation from what is here through money, creating an entire value-system/ scheme to categorize people according to the amount of money they have/ don’t have – and accordingly, ‘live’ a life of happiness and satisfaction when there’s more than enough money to buy or the inequality existent as poverty when having no money to buy and sustain themselves properly

 

When and as I see myself judging people that have money as oblivious to reality because of the security that money represents, I stop and I breathe – I realize that judging does nothing but adding up to the separation from the physical reality that we have abused because of another mind-created desire to ‘be more’ which is what I become in my mind when creating an authority of ‘judging people with money’ in a superior mode, without realizing that we are ALL equally participants and creators of All that exist, and that it is then to stop all judgments and walk in the physical no matter what the scenario is, no matter what ‘types of people’ are around, as I see and realize that all these variations and definitions toward a physical environment/ people are based on the effect that we have all duped ourselves with as money, which enables to create either a better picture presentation from/ of our reality or not.

Thus it is to see how the moment that we judge something that is ‘over the top’ from the social standard of ‘normal living’ and existing in/as an excess of wealth is simply something useless to do, as it is not to judge reality, but understand what are the actual origins that lead to the creation of such places and forms of ‘living’ as humans, wherein we have separated ourselves from the physical-cycles of life and artificialized it into a system that is sustainable only according to rules and regulations that we are currently existing as our capitalist system.

I commit myself thus to within stopping judging reality, simply observe what is here and without ‘backchat’ instead take note of the points that I observe in order to realize how we are all creators of such points, what deficiencies exist within the entire system to enable polarized versions of reality to the extent where some live in the utmost wealth and opulence while other live in the worst poverty and starvation that is possible to ‘exist as’ within this world – how we have all agreed to continue living in a system wherein life is not equally valued, but only reduced to a consuming system that is available for some only, while the Earth is giving all that is here without a single ‘bill’ to be paid for.

 

This is how I assist and support myself to transform any judgment toward the world system and reality to take it back to self and see where and how we have all created, accepted and allowed the current system to move/ exist as it does now, and within this also at an individual level identify how such judgments can only exist if I had formed a previous relationship to such – in this case – wealth, money and ability to buy everything that I could possibly want, which has obviously existed within me in my past wherein I also learned that shopping and consuming is a  positive experience and a ‘must do’ when one has more than enough money to live.

There’s multiple aspects and dimensions of judging a point that we see ourselves being ‘vexed’/ bothered by, which can  only exist if we have created a relationship of separation toward it, that’s why and how we see ourselves often judging everything and everyone in our world, because everything that we have become is that: separation. And as long as we continue accepting such judgment as a way to cover up the responsibility we hold toward the creation of this entire system, we’ll remain as judgmental victims of our own self-created hell, and I am not willing to continue diminishing ourselves to being ‘only that.’

Thus I commit myself to take responsibility for myself, my actions, words and attitudes, being very aware of how I present myself in any given place/ situation and not ‘adapt’ myself to create any point of resistance or physical judgmental behavior toward that which I perceive as living in the saying ‘Ignorance is bliss,’ as all we had lived as and by as humans is just that, we’re barely beginning to wake up and open our eyes to the extent of abuse that we have imposed onto ourselves and all living beings, just because of seeking this point of happiness.

There’s more to look at here, definitely.

Join us in our Journey to Life to take responsibility for ourselves, our world and reality and support each other the way that it always should have been from the beginning of who we are as existence.

 

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135. ‘The Secret’ CULTivates Narcissists

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept the pursuit of happiness as a normal human being’s purpose in life wherein one’s empowerment as money – more than the necessary one enabling relationships, properties, top executive jobs and all sorts of benefits in society – is actually revered and venerated as if it was an actual God that we are praying to and praising, making of money our god – yet we disguise this blatant cult with words like success, fame, fortune, dream life and roles/conditions within society such as nobility, royalty, presidency, top sports players, magnates, riches and ‘influential people’ that can only exist in such titles as an example for billions of human beings that seek to be in such a position as well, without realizing how ludicrous it would be to in fact sustain a life of ‘the rich and famous’ for 7 billion human beings.

Thus, I realize that what is required is an actual wake up call to expose how such ideal ‘happiness’ and ‘well being’ based on the standards of what a rich/ famous person is, is in fact unsustainable and the actual glorification of abuse, as if we were able to in one single moment become aware of how many people have suffered, been killed, abused, chronically suffered through the creation, manufacturing and production of our entire ‘civilization,’ we would probably start regarding wealth and fortune as an actual point of abuse instead of blindly and foolishly praising it in separation of ourselves as life.

When and as I see myself wandering off to the life of the rich and the famous and start wondering how ‘great’ it would be to have all that money – I stop and I breathe – I realize that such images and stories of having all the money are actually systematically conveniently propagated and are specific/ strategic ways to imprint desires, wants and needs within regular slaves/human beings so that we continue working ‘as much as possible’ to someday eventually (in our dreams only) get to such a position of power and fame, glory as all the money that we believe is the actual point of ‘happiness’ in our world.

I commit myself to expose how the lives of the rich and famous are actual strategic points of propaganda to keep capitalism and our current life-style of seeking fame, fortune and glory in place as the ultimate bliss, which is then recognizing the point of abuse it represents to present a life that is in no way LIVING but only consumerism equated to fulfillment unattainable by all human beings equally and that it is thus in fact an insult to present such outrageous fortune while blindly believing that all beings can ‘climb the ladder of success’ toward such fame and fortune within the current monetary system.

I see and realize that it is only through looking at the ‘reality’ of our desires, wants and needs that we become aware of how we have participated in creating desires, wants and needs that in no way represent an actual Living Condition that Supports Life/ living, but that are only make-believe realities as the products and activities that are related to us aspiring to be and become part of ‘the elite’ that we see on TV, that we see on magazines and that we are enthralled with within our current societies wherein media is telling us what to do, what to eat, what to wear, who we should date, what to vote for, what to diss, what to suppress, what to embody, what to think and what Not to think through imprinting fear toward the most basic questions that every human being should ask themselves, such as HOW it is that we have created the current monetary system as a god that is not readily available for all to dignify all beings’ lives?

 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to never question the seeKing and Chase-ing of positivity in this world as a point of abuse, due to it being perfectly ‘normal’ for any being to seek self’s own ‘well being’ through asking to an energy/god/saint/the universe for that which could mean happiness/ joy point, which is actually using money as a point of abuse to acquire yet another point that can only be conceded/ given if it is taken from others in fact, which is how the Law of Attraction actually works like.

I realize that the sheer acceptance of only a fraction of human beings existing in this acceptance of their ‘pursuit of happiness’ as an actual living-purpose is what must be exposed as the popular accepted and allowed abuse within humanity, as this is the way that we have made of narcissism an apparent disorder that can be named individual self interest due to the extreme care for one’s own well-being actually existing as a  ‘normal thing,’ in our society, being entertained with all things positive that one can consume in order to ‘feel great’ while 3/4 of the Earth starve to death every single day.

When and as I see myself accepting positivity and positive thinking as a ‘normal thing’ in our reality wherein it’s seen as ‘something ordinary’ that people want to succeed in what they do and what they dedicate their lives to – I stop and I breathe –  I bring myself here to realize that such attitude is actually the building blocks of a delusional world system, wherein any positive experience cannot exist without abusing thousands of beings, which includes everything that we virtually have as a commodity in this world system at the moment, simply because we have not yet become an actual living being that cares for life in equality, but only seeks one’s own benefit at all times, regardless of who has to suffer the consequences.

Thus, I commit myself to expose positivity as an actual abusive thinking pattern that has been blindly accepted, followed and bought within society because of the amount of money it also produces for the world system – thus it is to expose what a closed system of wealth it represents when only a few can aspire to get to/ obtain such point of success wherein education, money, and having at least a middle-class position is what enables you to seek after things like ‘The Secret’ and any other wishful positive thinking, without considering how everything that one asks is in fact manufactured, produced, distributed and sold within a world system wherein Money in itself as the current monetary system is the actual structure of abuse of which there cannot be in any way a possibility to ‘succeed’ without abusing others.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept the ultimate self-importance and individualism as an actual ‘self-care’ wherein in fact I only cared about ME-me-me and my position within this world system being secured through money as long as My-Needs are fulfilled, without realizing how this apparent ‘self-improvement’ of the individual through wishful thinking, positive attitude and a ‘clear vision to the future’ is nothing but white-light rubbish as words that rub the ego the right way in order to create an imaginary sense of well being, wherein the very backchat/ thoughts in the head as internal conversations become also part of the character that sustains this positive-beingness of only seeking to get the rewards, only seeking to be granted with ‘the most cake,’ granted with the ‘most important position’ in a job, granted with all the money in the world with which we can ‘make our dreams come true,’ never questioning how this ‘may your dreams come true’ attitude represents doing just that: manifesting an imaginary dimension of our minds, using an also imaginary point like money to in fact create a righteous ‘right’ to use the resources of the earth, the people and the entire structure in order to Only satisfy ourselves –

I realize that this makes us ALL Equally Responsible for what is existent in this world, just by the fact that we have all sometime wished something ‘good’ for ourselves while neglecting the rest of the world and its actual situation of absolute lack, famine, violence, abuse and extortion that reality is currently existing as, wherein money became our security veil that will certainly not be sustainable for a long time now.

I commit myself to expose self-improvement as the search for success, positive thinking and positive attitude as the most EVIL tools ever provided to humanity further separate ourselves from one another, creating the ultimate competition to get the jackpot within following ‘The Secret’ that we foolishly accepted as ‘real’ without pondering how it is that people in the Elite would actually allow this point to come-through with such as if it was in any way real – Thus, it is to expose this ‘get rich quick’ lifestyle propaganda as the totalitarianism propaganda hitting human’s buttons that read ‘searching for happiness,’ in order to accept the current monetary system wherein ‘all dreams can come true’ through maintaining and sustaining a system of abuse such as capitalism, wherein the platform to only support/ grant such ‘big prize’ is available for a few only, which means that The Secret as the Law of Attraction is in fact like a light that attracts the moths to their death, as there is no way in which such happiness as ‘all the money, fame, glory’ is able to exist for all within the current configuration of the world-system as money – yet there is another way

The solution stands clear: we must create a world-system wherein Everyone’s Lives can be in fact glorified, dignified and enjoyed through a monetary system that ensures the access to the Earth’s unconditional resources in an equal manner, as that is the actual way in which True Happiness can emerge in this world, where all men regard each other as equals, wherein all beings can finally live and experience the ever longed-for Heaven on Earth that has been broadly promoted, while it is the ultimate Scam in religious and New Age movements with the infamous name of ‘ascension,’ without realizing that such Heaven is no more and that all that is Left is Life on Earth to be equalized through an actual political and economical reform, wherein all that is here of the Earth is given and distributed equally to all beings in it.

 

This is then the real Law of our Being that must be realized and understood as the Only way in which Our lives can continue existing – thus it is to transform that selfish narcissistic Self-Care/ Self-Importance to an actual SELF that considers/ regards all beings as one and equal.

I commit myself to be the example of how Life can only thrive if living in Equality beginning with ourselves

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Interviews:


78. Be careful what you wish for

I realize how we live to ‘pursue our dreams and desires,’ however when one gets to ‘fulfill’ such dreams/ expectations, one suddenly no longer wants it, the entire ‘gist’ of keeping ourselves occupied in that yearning/ hoping and dreaming is the actual point of positivity that is generated because of how ‘unreal’ it is, it keeps us busy / occupied in our minds – it is an actual pattern that I realize I have lived when the platonic / ideal point that I pursued was no longer that ‘attractive’ to me once I had it. Once it was fulfilled, I would suddenly search for something else to create as an elusive point to ‘someday fulfill,’ which is how I could keep myself entertained in my mind.

In this case, I’m sharing about getting to experience a bit of what it feels like to be ‘on the spotlight’ in terms of being an artist, selling your work, and doing the usual promotion anyone in such world has to do.


Some background on this:

The way that I used ‘law of attraction’ was daydreaming constantly about being invited to another country to exhibit my work and be famous. Well, that ‘dream’ happened sooner than I ever expected in my life, which lifted my ego and my ‘enthusiasm’ to keep taking photographs, to continue pursuing my ‘artistic career.’ This event took place through the beginning of my second year in art school and I was already on a roll within spirituality, I was beginning to learn how to breathe yet ‘keep calm’ while actually not knowing how to deal with my reactions in such unknown environments and situations.


I went to another country alone, met the people that invited me which had found my photoblog and invited me to take part of this charity-auction and art exhibit. To me it was like a dream come true, but it all turned out to be a rather uncomfortable situation because of the extent of things that I was suddenly having to be doing and saying, being introduced to actual buyers/ ‘rich people’ that would buy the works, I felt like absolutely out of place all of a sudden, I just wanted everything to go back to normal. I got to be tired of having to be walking at the same ‘rhythm’ as this woman that is a rather famous person in her country with a packed agenda every day. I would keep breathing while riding with her and just witnessing all the relationships that she had made in order to make such charity auction with our works – I thought I was going to genuinely enjoy it, but I didn’t based on the judgments and expectations I had held about this event. I was not comfortable at having to present myself as ‘an artist,’ which was like having to deny a constant mirror of my desires to actually be recognized as one. I realized how it was ‘more fun’ to just pursue my desires, but living them out turned out to not be ‘my thing,’ which lead me to experience disillusion and another ‘career crisis’ early on.


Here I walk the Self Forgiveness on having to be with some of the buyers of my photographs and the entire experience as ‘the gifted young talented photographer’ that they portrayed me to be and had announced myself as, I felt like I was cheating everyone just because of not understanding how all characters were fake anyways.


Pattern: Wishing something with all my might and then not wanting it anymore, experiencing myself as a victim of it all.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to wish something with all my might, daydream about it and eventually when it manifests and I am ‘living the dream,’ I no longer want it.


I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to seek fame and fortune with a constant daydreaming application about it, wishing to be invited to exhibit my work in other parts in the world and when it did happen, feeling absolutely sad and depressed, simply because of having expectations on ‘me having a great time,’ and instead filling myself with judgments about the money system and the ‘artworld.’


I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel like I was cheating everyone because I was not apparently an ‘artist’ in the proper meaning of the word, which implies that I saw myself as ‘unworthy’ of being there, and because of not believing myself to be the ‘character’ that they were expecting me to be, I experienced inner-conflict because I knew that I had sought this to become ‘true’ as a ‘who I am,’  but I felt that I was simply without a clue and felt ‘lost’ within it all, just because of perceiving myself as ‘less than’ and ‘immature’ to be part of such exhibition.


I Forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to experience fear, nervousness and constriction in my breathing whenever I was introduced to one of the ‘very important people’ that bought my artwork, wherein I would feel like I was meeting a ‘god’ that I had to make a reverence to, instead of breathing and simply communicating as I would with any other human being.


I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that I was selling myself the moment I had to ‘greet the buyers’ wherein I had initially desired to do so for the ‘importance’ it entailed, but in the moment of and when I actually had to do It, I started judging myself and believing myself to be too fake because of having to be smiling according to the idea that I thought I had to present myself as toward ‘important people’ as ‘rich people’ in order to be liked.


I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to, as a child in ‘political situations’ as ‘fancy meetings,’ learn that I had to smile and present myself as ‘gracious’ and ‘delicate,’ over-exerting what I have deemed as my ‘feminine side’ which was in this case backed up by wearing a fancy dress and perceiving myself as being ‘the star’ of the night, putting on the suit of it while judging myself in the back of my head for doing so – I realize it is unnecessary to create such inner conflict when participating in the world if I just shut my mind off and simply participate in it.


I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that ‘I must smile and behave as a delicate and charming person’ as if I was ‘enchanted’ by the presence of these people, just because of them having bought my artwork and me complying to the point of having to ‘thank them’ for their contribution and essentially feeling lame for ‘having to lick their boots,’ which is how I had judged these type of interactions while growing up wherein I knew that, even if people could not stand each other and were ‘enemies,’ they would still shake hands, smile at each other and behave ‘politically, ‘ which marked my behavior in ‘society’ in what is considered to be the ‘rich and glamorous’ situations, wherein because this person that organized everything is a ‘star’ I thought I had to mimic her attitude in order to ‘please the buyers.’


I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that I had to ‘please the buyers’ through smiling and behaving in ‘the most correct manner,’ wherein I made sure I would speak with this soft voice and appear as a very ‘knowledgeable’ and ‘profound’ person, just because of believing that that would make me more of an ‘artist’ according to what I have come to believe people expect ‘an artist’ to talk about and express themselves as.


I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ‘not know what to say’ when he asks me about the story behind the photos he bought, and feel insecure because of ‘trying to say the right thing,’ as a way to please them, wherein I thought that if I said the ‘incorrect thing,’ my work would not be valuable enough for them, which was an overall uncomfortable situation just because of trying to ‘fit in’ to the expectation that I created in my mind about the people based on the entire event being ‘beyond what I expected it originally to be,’ feeling intimidated by the prices, the money, the party and event in itself, wherein I felt I was completely ‘unworthy’ of being there.


I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to decide to ‘add more mystery’ to the story behind the photographs just to please the curiosity that I believed the buyer of the work was expecting, wherein I deliberately manipulated my expression to be more ‘poetic’ and ‘thoughtful’ and make simple photographs something ‘really deep’ just to satisfy the buyer, which depicts to what extent I compromised myself just to please people that I deemed as ‘above me’ because of their position being that of ‘being rich/ having loads of money,’ which is how I allowed myself to believe that I had to ‘reverence’ them and do whatever they wanted me to do and be for them.


I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to tell him a wondrous story with me aiming to ‘touch his heart’ so as to make myself more ‘valuable’ at the eyes of others, which is how this entire world-system works: build yourself a ‘sellable’ personality, sugar coat words that will delight someone else’s ears that you can benefit from, which in this case was selling my work and having to ‘please the seller’ which was an entire uncomfortable situation because in the back of my head I felt like being a prostitute, having to please the one that gave the money for the works.


I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to want to please people based on the perceived power I believe they have over me, wherein I compromised my expression such as smiling and speaking in deliberately manipulated ways so that others can confirm that ‘I am a true artist, she’s worth it!’ Just because of fearing people finding out that I had been taking photographs for less than a year before I was invited, and them feeling cheated for buying work from an amateur, which is how I compromised myself entirely because I never asked the terms and conditions and felt just ‘out of place.’ However, everyone was just playing ‘their part’ in that entire situation and I was just resisting to play the character that I had been invited to play-out initially, yet I saw it all as ‘wrong’ because of the beliefs and ideas of me ‘being honest’ toward others, not understanding how the world system works, but instead wanting to be just this humble spiritual person that gets to be famous. Which created inner conflict when seeing and realizing that I could not simply ‘play the game’ without getting lost in it, so I ended up losing my ground in that moment.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be backchatting when people are talking to me, specifically when I am judging their words as something that ‘I have to hear’ because ‘I owe it to them’ and justifying my smile and complacency just because of money, of such people being seemingly ‘superior’ to me due to and because of the amount of money they paid for my work, wherein I feel compromised to have to hear, follow through the ‘artist-buyer’ game, yet feeling absolutely out of place because of me Thinking and becoming emotional in the inside, while having to portray the exact opposite in the outside as ‘being enjoying the moment’ and being ‘comfortable’ with an older man that has a lot of money.


I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to react to this man from the moment that he was introduced as the president of some corporation and people telling me that ‘he was a very important person,’ to which I then reacted as in ‘I have to please him no matter what,’ which is how the money system affects and permeates all our relationships when money is the one that decides who plays which character.


I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ‘feel better’ about myself when he expresses that he loved the explanation, wherein I feel then positively fulfilled and like ‘I’ve done a great job’ by pleasing others and fulfilling the character expectation of what I believed I had to be toward these people: being a profound and thoughtful ‘young artist,’ and eventually starting getting lost in the flair that I got as the positive feedback from the man upon my work in general and him ‘expecting more of me’ in the future.


I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to start deviating my attention from the moment and start thinking about only going back to the hotel so that I don’t have to be around people any longer, which is how the point went in reverse and from having desired this type of experiences in ‘the Artworld’ of fame and fortune, I suddenly simply started disliking it a lot based on all the backchat I formed around myself not being ‘good enough’ and ‘mature enough’ to be there, which became this uncomfortable energetic experience within me, wherein I believed that I simply was in the wrong place.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be hypocritical whenever I thought that I had to behave and act in a certain way in order to please people, wherein I could be smiling from ear to ear yet at the same time pondering ‘when is he going to shut up?,’ which is something that I would judge people saying, never realizing I was simply projecting my own backchat onto everything and everyone.


I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel ultimately uncomfortable when he grabbed my hand for an extended period of time as in ‘thanking me,’ which I immediately associated it with something sexual, which is how I started backchatting and judging myself as being a prostitute and fearing that he was ‘checking out my boobs’ in the meantime, which added more discomfort to the moment.


I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel like ‘fake’ because I was bulshitting people with stories about my work and ‘who I was’ as ‘a young artist,’ which was actually ‘the moment’ to express all the self talk, future projections and daydreaming that I had fed for some years up until that moment, which I came to believe that it had manifested as a result of ‘the law of attraction.’


I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel like I was lying to people, thinking that I had to get a certain ‘degree’ to ‘call myself an artist, which was just me trying to wear some character proudly, never realizing that all characters are equally make-believe and that in no way do they represent who and what I really am, which means that I simply judged myself based on the value and worth that I was giving to money as ‘rich people’ and to ‘art’ and the ‘artworld’ itself, as me not being ‘worthy’ of it, not realizing that it was just people and money that I could have equalized myself to, to walk through the point without reacting. Within this


I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to exist in continuous judgment toward ‘the world system of money,’ wherein I reacted from the very first time that I saw the price to one of the photographs and believing that ‘they simply were not worth it,’ continuing this reaction within myself as in thinking that I had to ‘please people’ because of anyone daring to pay such amount of money for something that I deemed as ‘not worthy of it.’ So


I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define money as being ‘more’ than myself, as being something that imposes power over my own beingness wherein due to and because of selling my work with such a price tag, I felt compromised to think of my work as ‘important,’ creating all this value-scheme in my mind based on how I knew that ‘the artworld worked.’ Within this I realize to what extent, I have always reacted to people differently whenever I would get to interact with ‘rich people,’ wherein I tried to behave the best way possible as a way to ‘mimic’ them as what I perceive is ‘who they are’ based on the amount of money they have being translated to ‘being well educated,’ this is without realizing that I was just playing the same game that everyone does in the world system, yet I simply wallowed in judging it instead of not taking it personal, walking through the point and being able to express myself indistinctly of ‘who everyone is’ according to the money they have.


I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to also feel flattered and feel that my ego was being stroked because of all the compliments which is when I felt ‘good’ about it all on the surface, yet battling inside myself because of seeing it all as ‘too staged’ and ‘too fake’ to be real – never realizing that this entire world was it equally and one a stage, and we are all characters. I realize that all the inner conflict I experienced in that time of my life was because of beginning to realize the lies that we have lived as ‘our life,’ which became instead of an understanding: a burden, judging myself for having to participate in this system, getting to seek to escape it further instead of considering that I could support myself to stand one and equal to it.


I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel ‘lost’ within such event, wherein I allowed myself to be overridden by the appearances of everyone, by the place, the music, the entire situation of me having to play ‘the guest star’ within it all, to which I thought that I had to first ‘actually be’ an artist in order to please people’s expectations of myself as it.


I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to start judging everyone when realizing that it was all ‘too fake’ and illusory as everything was just because of money, not realizing that this entire world is existing as that: a staged scenario run by money where people relate to each other based on the economical dependencies formed, wherein those that have the most money are reverenced and pleased with anything they want – and those with no money or below the ‘higher planes’ of society’s members, have to continue working to please the minority with less money to escalate in the social stratus and eventually be and become an elite person like them.


I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to shove away all observations and judgments I had toward such charity event even before accepting to go it, and all because of believing that it was all ‘too fake to be real,’ never realizing that this entire world as the society and its functioning created by humans is equally staged and with no common sense direction.


I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to go into depression when thinking too much about the environment, the relationships between people as observed through my eye as being of only convenience as ego-recognition and because of money, wherein I start feeling disgusted by having to participating in ‘such event,’ without realizing that I was just witnessing first hand how the monetary system works and how the relationships in this world work base on money and fulfilling each other’s positive experience when money is the driving force of such relationships of ‘abundance.’


I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to wallow into sadness while waiting to leave the hotel to go to my hotel and believing that I was used and abused, without realizing that I had complied to be there and play ‘the artist’ as it had been ‘my dream’ for a very long time, not realizing that I was simply being and becoming aware of how the world really works, wherein I realize that judging it is further separation and that I can actually participate in the world system without adding more judgments toward it, but instead ensure that I learn how to walk it through breathing through all the necessary points to ensure I no longer stand as ‘reactive’ person toward this world system of money, but instead work on myself to share and propose the Equal Money System, where no one will ever have to lie to get some money flowing.


I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to experience disillusionment about my own dreams that when living them to a certain extent, I simply wanted it all to end as fast as possible, just because of how I had idealized life and the artworld wherein I didn’t really consider what It would mean to have to interact and be ‘famous,’ which I thought to be something great but when having a taste of it, participating in self-judgment and getting ‘depressed’ because of it not being thaw I had envisioned at all.


I realize that I could have only judged myself because of how I had judged money as bad, as something evil and ‘dishonest,’ yet wanting to separate my dreams of ‘fame and fortune’ from such evil, which was obviously an ensured inner battle that became just another reason and excuse for me to want to stop pursuing such dreams by further rejection and reaction toward the people involved in the event, never really considering how I had participated in the entire event and situation with full awareness – and that’s the point to further open up: how we know what we are doing, but prefer to not be aware of it in order to not feel ‘guilty’ for participating, which is absolute self-deception.


Self Corrective Statements:

When and as I see myself seeking to fulfill a desire, I stop and I breathe – I realize that this is a mere point of entertainment in my mind to keep me occupied finding ways to satisfy such desire, when in fact I already know how once the desire is obtained, I eventually create something new to desire as that is the way the mind is constantly occupied seeking for ‘something’ outside of myself, without realizing that I am here and that I do not require to become a desire in separation of myself.


When and as I see myself doubting myself as ‘who I am’ and ‘who I must be’ for others in relation to being a particular profession/ occupation and ‘acting’ like it, I stop and I breathe. I realize that I do not require to define me according to a profession, a career and ‘wear the suit’ to be recognized as such – I am a human being that is able to participate and direct oneself in the world within practical ways wherein the point that matters is the consideration at all times of what is best for all to be, do and direct oneself as.


When and as I see myself reacting in inferiority and uncertainty toward people that are deemed/ considered as ‘rich’ because of having a lot of money, I stop and I breathe. I realize that with me reacting to ‘money’ as ‘who they are,’ I am perpetuating the hierarchical system that is imposed onto life according to the value/ worth in separation of ourselves that we have created as the illusionary ‘power’ that money entails upon another being. I direct myself to express myself here, in common sense within the consideration of being talking to a fellow human being and that’s it.


When and as I see myself smiling in a forced manner toward people in order to seem ‘agreeable’ and ‘affable,’ I stop and I breathe. I realize that it is actually a coping mechanism to be liked by others because of believing that If I don’t smile = people won’t like me/ won’t support me in this case to ‘buy my work,’ which is just a social convention that I learned as a child and that I see is not necessary if I instead am able to share myself in common sense without any form of persuasive presentation to be liked/ accepted by others.


When and as I see myself accessing the ‘charming person character,’ I stop and I breathe. I realize that this is a coping mechanism so that I can be ‘easily liked/ accepted’ by others, instead of me actually supporting myself to remain breathing, relaxing my face and being aware of the words I speak as an actual expression of myself in the moment, in common sense.


When and as I see myself trying to ‘say the right thing,’ I stop and I breathe. I realize that I am accessing the personality of ‘wanting to be liked/ accepted by others’ which is only self-manipulation as the ‘who I am’ in my mind based on the past. Instead I direct myself to express in the moment with no preconceived ideas of ‘who I am,’ but simply speak in the moment, communicating in common sense.


When and as I see myself using words to be seen/ perceived as being ‘more’ than myself in the moment, I stop and I breathe. I realize that I am accessing the ‘agreeable persona’ that seeks another’s acceptance through the belief of me being/ having to be someone ‘special.’ Thus I direct myself to become aware of my expression being here as breath, wherein I ensure that what I speak is a representation of myself in the moment of breathing, sharing with no ‘loaded personality’ to obtain something in separation of myself.


When and as I see myself perceiving that something/ someone has power over me in relation to the amount of money they have, I stop and I breathe. I realize that through me accepting this as a form of ‘authority’ is me perpetuating the same system of hierarchical order that does not consider life. Thus I direct myself to stop all judgments toward others based on ‘how much money they have,’ and communicate in common sense within the consideration of being equal human beings of flesh that communicate.


When and as I see myself accessing the desire to ‘be alone/ be left alone’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am creating this experience based on the judgments I am projecting onto people, the environment, a place and situation in separation of myself. I thus breathe and realize that I am able to stop creating of any given moment as an ‘experience’ by breathing, walking in self forgiveness the judgments I generate and as such, ensure that I am not defined by people, the environment and the situation, but realize that I am here, breathing, I direct and continue walking.


When and as I see myself feeling uncomfortable with another ‘stranger’ touching me, I stop and I breathe. I realize that in these ‘social situations’ any experience is created by me ‘thinking’ and backchatting about it. I direct myself to not judge and place meanings onto actions that I can instead walk through breathing and at all times remaining in common sense to ensure no abuse is allowed either.


When and as I see myself inflating my ego by receiving compliments about anything I say or do – I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am not the judgments that anyone can say about me as all judgments are points of separation as ‘value’ that is in no way who I really am as life – thus I stop any positive or negative reaction by remaining here as breath and self-forgiving any experience that emerges if a word ‘strokes my ego,’ as this is what I am committed to stop: seeking a sense of satisfaction by and through the positive feedback one is able to get from others about ‘who we are’ and ‘what we do’ – which is all personality/ character based.


When and as I see myself feeling like I was being ‘used and abused’ in a situation where money is involved and ‘me’ serving to ‘earn money’ – I stop and I breathe. I realize that self-victimization is the way for me to not take responsibility for what I accept and allow in my world, which is how I have to ensure that all that I get myself involved in, I study with care and considering all consequences and outflows of such decision, instead of just allowing myself to be ‘overridden’ by desire and making decisions based on energetic experiences such as desire/ fulfilling dreams that are Not practical ways to make decisions in life.


I commit myself to be and become specific about the contracts that I will sign, about the activities I will be involved with and not hesitate to ask about money and how the actual ‘workings’ of the money earned will work as I realize this prevents further ‘misunderstandings’ and ‘surprises’ based on not having asked from the very beginning in full clarity about it.


When and as I see myself wanting to ‘immediately escape’ a situation by creating backchat where I can degrade everything and everyone around me as a way to justify my ‘way out of it,’ I stop and I breathe – I realize this is a looping-mechanism wherein instead of me taking responsibility for the choices I’ve made, I access the ‘escapism’ that I believe I can apply whenever I am ‘no longer pleased’ with something, instead of actually first taking responsibility for everything that am and become, ensuring that I walk through the consequences in a self-directive manner to not just wish my way out, but instead face what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become in a practical manner.


I also realize that the entire outflow of events can be stopped from the very first moment that I see myself participating in backchat and degrading judgments about others/ an event/ environment, which is how we can stop the entire chain of events in this consequential outflow that can be stopped from the very first thought that I see myself participating within, in relation to not wanting to face a point that I have created for myself in/ as my world.

I’ll continue walking this character of ‘the artist.’


Blogs

Day 78: Stepping out of Character

Looking for MORE of mySELF: DAY 78


74. “You’ll need to Suffer to make any Real Art”

 

When I was a young around 7/ 8 years old, my sister was in her nationalist era and she had several poster-paintings by Frida Kahlo in her room. Whenever I would go in there I would remain in awe looking at those images due to the content/ expression they represented as a lot of suffering – Frida crying, blood, self portrayals of her physical discomfort and all of these surreal passages that got stuck within my mind. I was actually quite ‘sad’ when she took them down because my mother thought it was ‘too depressive’ to have those paintings in her room, ‘too gory’ and ‘too much of a negative energy’ for the room.

I had not realized how these paintings became a platform to ‘build my expression’ due to the extent that they ‘awakened’ my emotional patterns, the desire to experience the same she was portraying in her paintings, it made me ‘feel alive’ which is how I began to identify that desire to ‘suffer’ and ‘feel pain’ in order to ‘create great art’ like that, and be able to ‘express’ something as meaningful as she did. Of course I got to know her story of actual physical discomfort due to her accident, which I simply used then as a way to think that I had to suffer, create some turmoil in my life to be able to depict it through paintings and get to be ‘as good as she was’ at it.

I began creating these ideas and relationships in my head that I could use to Create what I deemed were ‘similar experiences’ of pain and suffering – this was back in 2003 as I described in my previous post – just so that I could paint something like her paintings. Couple of years later I read in a book a quote that really got stuck in my head ‘True art comes from suffering’ – or something along the lines, and that confirmed my idea that ‘I wanted to be an artist because I could ‘feel’ such torture in my being,’ lol – which was actually built and self-created from a much earlier stage in my life – 7/8 years old – and only confirming that or believing that I had in fact ‘found my place in Art’ when reading such quote 10 years after the initial ‘imprint’ of this desire to create in an emotional state.

And so, the specialness aura goes for debunking through Self Forgiveness.

Pattern: Believing that great art is only existent if it evokes an emotion within me and others

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that art could only be ‘great art’ if it evoked an emotional experience within me and others

 

Self Forgiveness Statements

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be haunted by the Frida Kahlo paintings in my sister’s room specifically because of the suffering, sadness and pain they portrayed, which caught my attention to the emotional depiction of sorrow, pain, suffering as something that I could experience while looking at them and within this, feeling ‘alive’ when looking at paintings.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to develop an attraction to this particular depiction of human emotions through images depicting blood, pain, tears, the human physical body in pain and through that, creating the foundation of an emotional state that I would allow myself to to experience whenever I would go into my sister’s room to look at the paintings.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define myself as being attracted to the depiction of pain and sorrow in paintings, wherein I started valuing images depicting such emotional states as ‘great art’ and within that, me wanting and desiring to be able to paint similar topics to evoke the same emotions in others, the same way Frida’s paintings were evoking within myself.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to within this fascination/ attraction for the paintings and the experience that I was obtaining from looking at them, start thinking that ‘someday I want to be a painter just like her’ – wherein this single thought became a desire later on as the years went by, which I eventually consummated when opting to finally study arts.

 

I realize that I made that decision from the Experience that I got which was linked to fascination, mystery and a vicarious enjoyment of staring at a painting that depicted suffering/ pain/ dismal view upon the world which I recognized as ‘my view of the world,’ yet it was simply the energetic experience that I was truly drawn to due to and because of the emotional body ‘awakening’ to these paintings and beginning the identification of myself as such emotions, as an experience that I defined as ‘preference’ and ‘kinship’ to the painter, without realizing it was just the mind finding its ‘source’ to generate emotions from a visual interaction with paintings depicting such emotions.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to within this acceptance of myself as emotions, start thinking and believing that ‘I have to be an artist’ because of thinking that ‘not everyone would get the same experiences I did’ when looking at art, which was only due to and based to the accumulation of self-talk throughout the years to ‘find a taste’ on art because of the associations I started giving to Art as a ‘superior human activity’ in my mind – hence using it as a way to value ‘art’ more than any other human activity, to justify my eventual decision to ‘be an artist’ simply because of the curiosity around creation and the Experience that I would get from looking at art, images, video, etc.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to want to be a painter just to be as ‘famous’ and ‘well-known’ as Frida, because she got to be a world-wide known persona and that’s what attracted me the most in terms of being a famous person.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to desire creating images that could instigate the same emotional side that I got from looking at Frida’s paintings to other people, so that I could ensure that I could ‘touch’ people through paintings/ images, within this

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to be fascinated by someone that was so ‘filled with emotions’ and being apparently ‘mysterious’ as she was, due to her tormented life which became a trigger point for her creations.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feed my mind with thoughts of ‘fascination’ whenever I would be in my sister’s room and stare at the images for quite some time, trying to almost ‘suck’ the essence out of the pain and sorrow they represented and use it as a way to ‘make my own art’ which eventually influenced what I did without me wanting to openly admit it, because ‘hey, I have to be special!’

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to deny admitting or fear admitting that Frida Kahlo was one of my influences because of how ‘popular’ she is in Mexico and me wanting to be ‘unique’ and ‘special’ as ‘an artist,’ which I thought that when naming Frida as an influence, I would be tagged as cheesy or predictable – hence I kept it ‘hidden’ and always naming any other artist as ‘influence’ just so that I could remain in an apparent ‘safe zone’ of influences and not going for what seemed ‘obvious’ only in my mind.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that Frida’s paintings were a ‘great influence for me,’ wherein the idea of ‘influence’ is still used as a way to not directly accept that I in fact just wanted to be like her and experience myself the same way she did as ‘that made her create great art!’ without ever really measuring what it would be like to be living in constant depression, sorrow and pain as the emotions that I would get and imagine her experiencing when looking at her paintings.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to from the moment of being in my sister’s room, looking at Frida’s paintings, create this ‘special moment’ of me staring at a work of art with a predisposition to ‘get something off it’ as an experience, and the more I was able to get any form of ‘empathy’ such as depression, sadness, chills or any other energetic experience, I would use as a measuring point to say that the artwork was ‘powerful’ and ‘great’ and if I didn’t get any emotion/ feeling from it: I would say the artwork is not good/ bullshit.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to link the creation of emotions whenever I looked at art/ paintings/ music videos and any other image that I could use as a way to ‘feel alive’ through generating emotions and feelings from it.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define being emotional and mysterious as being a ‘superior being’ that is more ‘sensitive’ toward the world, when in fact it is no different to any other being existing as the mind, generating emotions and feelings instead of just Living here as breath – within this, I realize that I have pondered artists and creative people that are well-tormented as ‘superior’ because of how I programmed myself from that early age to associate being emotional = being alive, being more aware, being more ‘in touch with yourself,’ which is just another excuse for me to validate my career choice and entire personality as in wanting to be and become ‘an artist.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take the judgment of my mother toward Frida’s paintings on my sister’s wall as being ‘too sad and gory’ while making a gesture of disgust as a ‘good idea’ for me to do something that would deliberately vex her, disturb her, which is linked to an entire process that I’ve realized fairly recently due to the Heaven’s Journey To Life  blog how there is this friction relationship with the mother from the time of inception – hence this event was just part of me creating a point of friction toward her, to deliberately ‘shock’ and ‘disturb’ her, as a way to get out of the ‘cookie cutter pattern’ that I thought she wanted me to remain as/ impose onto myself because of being ‘her daughter’ – within this

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to like the idea of me doing something that would disturb my mother in a shocking way, as a statement of saying: I am not like my sisters, I do not have conventional preferences, I step out of the family mold – which is how through becoming the entire ‘eccentric’ role, I fed my self-belief as this art-lover more and more as that meant separating myself more and more from having to continue/ follow the steps of my sisters as what I deemed being ‘normal, ordinary, conventional’ in a derogatory/ inferior way, wherein I had placed the eccentric/ odd/ mysterious/ emotional in a superior place in my mental value scheme toward the world and people.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to from the moment of seeing the shock and impact that images would create and instill in my mother to the point of her asking my sister to take them down, to then use paintings as a way for me to ‘go against her flow’ and create shocking images just for the sake of secretly vindicating my desire to vex and disturb my mother, even if I ‘hid’ most of those paintings from her, even till this day –

 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that the entire play-out of events from this moment on defined my desire to paint something that would be ‘eccentric’ and disturbing as a way to make my mother react or be bothered, and get a kick out of it – with no reason or purpose but that initial primordial relationship of mother/ daughter that began from the moment I was inside her womb.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted an allowed myself to choose a career just for the sake of wanting to ‘step out ‘of the mold that I believed I was being imposed with, and in that desire to ‘spite my mother’/ family structure, I opted to study something that represented ‘getting out of the family mold,’ without realizing that the only one I was fucking with was myself, as I would have to live with that decision based on all of these emotional and relationship play outs in my family that I defined myself according to.

 

I realize that the only one that is now living the consequences of such decisions based on experiences is myself, and it has nothing to do with the paintings, the painter, my mother or sisters, but only myself and my own mind as the definition of who and what I wanted to be and what I did not want to be ‘for others,’ not even for myself.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to within spiting what I perceived were imposed decisions for my life from my mother, I took the ‘opposite road’ in order to ensure that ‘I’ could decide for myself, wherein I simply took the opposite road to spite them and separate myself from them, without actually realizing that the decision I was taking was for me and my own life and that the only one that would have to live with such decisions was myself, and that I was the only one that would have to live with it.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that in my desire to ‘spite everyone else,’ I only spitted myself.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to elevate art to the status of being something ‘eccentric and unique’ which fueled my desire to not be ordinary, to be ‘out of this world/ out of my family mold’ and within that, be ‘abnormal’ from the ‘normalcy’ that I had judged as pathetic and predictable, without realizing that we have all always been predictable as the mind patterns that work in mechanical ways wherein I was never really aware of me when living out those choices, but was only following a systematic pattern of creating friction and opposition in order to establish my self-righteousness over common sense in my life, to only fuel my ego.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to begin painting with the desire to be emotional to have something ‘great’ to paint, and to evoke the same experience in another when looking at it, which is what I defined as what would make a painting ‘famous’ and ‘liked’

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to start seeing emotions – in a lesser manner also feelings – as a way to make a painting ‘come alive’ wherein I started believing that the emotional way I was painting in would define a painting s either successful/ not successful based on the reactions that others would be able to obtain from them.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to want to ‘feel alive’ through paintings, associating this with having to be sad, dismal, depressed and angry at the world, which is how I would allow myself to reinforce emotions through words, pictures, ideas, thoughts, lyrics, books in order to gather ‘enough material to work with’ as an emotional experience that I would define as ‘feeling inspired’ to paint and portray that which I wanted to say in order to leave a ‘mark’ of my emotional state for the world – creating an entire mythology around my own paintings as something special.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think that because I didn’t have much to be sad about, I had to start creating my own sad stories and beginning to yearn for love and relationships, as that was another topic that I saw could generate a similar experience of ‘hopelessness’ and ‘dullness’ that I could express through images/ pictures according to how I would go tagging my reality as sad/ dismal and portraying that as paintings.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to talk myself into depression and deliberately triggering thoughts/ using images to create these emotional experiences because I defined that I could only be alive and be ‘sensitive enough’ just like an artist/ Frida, to create any good work of art.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that I could only create art if I had a ‘broken heart’ or a yearning for a relationship, which are the points that I fueled in order to paint.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to start looking at this world as being damned and shitty, as a thought in my mind just for the sake of making of that thought a painting that could make me ‘feel’ like I as this sensitive person to what was going on in the world – hence making me special in my own eyes and wanting to be special at the eyes of others = the desire to be an eccentric unique being.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to start seeing everyone as sad and dismal and slaves, which became the actual filter with which, till this day, I have been walking in order to not constantly feed the same pattern that I created in order to fuel my ‘creative abilities’ when using emotions as a trigger point for me to paint. This implies that I began seeking for the ‘negative experiences’ as a way to make myself feel ‘better’ about myself and feel ‘good’ whenever I could create with using such ‘emotional states of being’ as a source of ‘inspiration.’

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe then myself to be ‘too sensitive for this world,’ wherein I simply took the idea of ‘an artist being a more sensitive being’ wherein in my mind, being an artist and being sensitive meant a more ‘evolved’ human being, a more ‘humane’ being without ever realizing what emotions were really all about until now through what we learn and educate ourselves with at Desteni.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to talk myself into believing that I had a ‘gift’ to represent emotions in a touching manner through my paintings/ images/ drawings/ pictures, which became a point that I held on as myself, as if I was special about it.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to talk myself into desiring a relationship, instigating any form of problem and friction within myself to have something to be sad, bothered, angry about in order to paint.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe in the sentence ‘True art only comes from suffering’ from Palahniuk’s books that I took on as a creed, and that I used to fuel my desire to have experiences in order to have something ‘meaningful’ to paint, which is how I would judge then what ‘good art’ and what ‘bad art’ was based on the amount of emotions and feelings I could generate/ get from looking at art, without realizing that I had programmed myself to act and believe that this was actually ‘so’ within itself which means: there was never ever something ‘special ‘and ‘unique’ about it, other than my obvious self-brain washing in a desire to be special.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to remain within the belief that ‘I had to be inspired to create any good art’ which mean ‘I had to be experiencing an emotion – preferably – to make any good painting, and that if I was rather ‘happy’ or in a positive attitude, it would mostly not be a good work of art, but only a spoof of reality.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that the sadder I felt, the better the painting would come out to be, wherein I would deliberately begin painting when I thought that I was sad enough, angry enough to do so.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to continue with this pattern of believing that creation required myself to be in a particular emotional way to generate emotions within others and within that, make of ‘my work’ something ‘great’ due to and because of how I had believed that only great works of art stem from feeling sad, experiencing sorrow and depression, which became a state of being that I deliberately sought in order to ‘make great art,’ without ever realizing I was only manipulating myself in order to fit my own ideal of what ‘great art’ is supposed to be.

 

 

Self Corrective Statements

 

When and as I see myself believing that ‘great art’ is that which is able to evoke an emotional experience within me and others, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I programmed myself this way from the time when I got an experience from Frida’s paintings that became the ‘blueprint’ for me to establish what is ‘great successful art’ and what is not, wherein through this value system I simply accept myself to be an emotional-robot that can only feel ‘alive’ if being ‘emotional’ in any way as a state of being.

 

When and as I see myself believing that being an artist is being a ‘special unique being’ and ‘sensitive’ toward the world, I stop and I breathe – I realize that in art the emotional and feeling bodies are used to give further meaning to just images and things in order to perpetuate the idea of the human being a sensitive creature, which is in no way what we really are as the proof of what our desire and drive for experiences is Here as the consequence of this absolute self interest wherein we can do ‘anything’ jus to ‘feel everything’ even if it means depleting the earth’s resources in the name of a feeling/ emotion, abusing ourselves, abusing life and simply perpetuating a monetary system that in no way is supporting LIFE but only the human as experiences within emotions and feelings that keep us all occupied in our minds and neglecting the reality that is crumbling down every step that we take to fulfill our ‘dreams’ instead of acting and caring to consider what is best for all instead.

 

When and as I see myself being drawn to pictures that depict sorrow, suffering, blood, tears, sadness, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I programmed myself to develop my ‘emotional side’ as the mind within looking at such images, in order to ponder emotions as ‘living’ and equating them to a ‘higher level of consciousness’ due to the belief that I held toward ‘emotions/ feelings’ being the actual ‘core’ of being a human being as in ‘being alive,’ yet absolutely neglecting the consequences that such feelings and emotions had on a physical level in every body, but only going for that rush as the actual energy that I would create whenever I could become emotional, just like a drug that I could generate through my own thoughts and my own images to reinforce such thoughts

 

When and as I see myself believing that I ‘chose my career’ based on my ‘affinity with art and life’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that this was just the result of me talking to myself to become someone eccentric – as I deemed artists to be – and within that, doing everything that I could to emulate the lives of beings that were artists so that I could be ‘one of them’ by identifying myself with their emotional experience and existence, which I defined as ‘living’ and being a ‘more aware being’ which was never really so, but only a highly ingrained belief system wherein I believed that an emotional being was ‘in touch with themselves, ‘when It was only being in touch with the mind as self, but never self aware as the totality of this world – without realizing that artists, just like any other human being, are only infatuated with their own thoughts, imagination, emotions, feelings, which is no different to any other being existing in absolute self-interest and self-obsession – thus

 

When and as I see myself seeing an ‘artist’ with this aura of ‘specialness’ when compared to other ‘normal’ beings, I stop and I breathe. I realize I am perpetuating my own mindfuck toward art/ artists being ‘special’ and ‘unique beings’ which is why I sought to be ‘one of them’ when deliberately wanting to ‘identify’ myself with artists and their lives.

 

When and as I see myself looking at a work of art with the desire to get an ‘experience’ out of it, I stop and I breathe – I realize that the reason why art is ‘art’ is because of reinforcing the emotions and feelings of people – instead I can direct myself to see how I can use art as an effective way to instigate the realization of us human beings being responsible for this world and this Earth as each one of us, which is a more tangible way of using images in the name of Self-Support as Life, and not as mere instigators of emotions and feelings as ‘human nature.’

 

When and as I see myself wanting to make a decision in my life based on the desire to oppose my family/ the world/ ‘normal people,’ I stop and I breathe. I realize that this is a basic mechanism that I have used throughout my life to generate conflict and separate myself from others in means of keeping me as ‘special’ and ‘unique,’ which is in fact just another egotistical way to ensure that ‘I’ remain special/ unique within the ‘artist role,’ instead I realize that all decisions I make must be considered within the outflows and consequences of the entirety of ‘who I am’ in that moment of decision, taking all into consideration wherein I ensure I am not opposing something/ someone, wanting to ‘avoid’ or wanting to create an experience within me as ‘living,’ – but instead direct me to consider the practical, physical and tangible steps to walk that decision that will be founded upon the consideration of what is best for all life, what is it really required to be and be done in order to establish LIFE in this world.

 

I realize that I had only sought to be and become this profession to indulge in my egotistical personality, my desire to be special and unique – instead of ever really considering what can I be and become in order to be an actual participant that takes on a position within reality to change the world that I judged for so long, and daring to first walk that process myself which is what I am now walking as my own correction to the decisions I made based on opposition, retaliation in my own mind to create a sense of superiority toward ‘the rest of the world,’ trying to ‘not be of this world’ by ‘being an artist’ and creating an aura of specialness around me.

 

When and as I see myself desiring to ‘not be like everyone else’ I stop and I breathe, I realize that this is the mechanism that we all accept as ‘normal’ within ourselves, but is in fact the basic platform from which inequality stems, because such statement implies: I want to be special, I want to be ‘more’ than others – hence allowing an entire system that enables such ‘specialness’ through the value given to different professions and skills that can actually be equalized for all if we stop holding anything as more or less than who we are as one and equal. Thus I see that the equalization of myself as life begins with stopping one single thought as a desire to ‘not be normal/ ordinary.’ I direct myself to stand as one and equal as the totality that we are wherein there can be no more and no less, but only self-expansion from the confinement of a mind that seeks to be ‘above others’ into the creation of a reality that I can in fact contribute to be supportive for all equally, and in that, supporting people’s expression to be artists and create themselves as the individuals that we all can be if regarding ourselves as life in Equality.

 

I realize that the reason why I considered art as some ‘unique’ and ‘special’ activity/ profession in my world, was because of the fame and aura of ‘specialness’ that artists would get, which became my actual desire to be and become an artist for such desire to be recognized and praised as some ‘great creator’ only to fuel my ego and desire for specialness, which stems from an actual inferiority and sense of ‘lacking’ such wholeness/ completion as myself as my physical being, but believing that I had to seek to be ‘more’ than myself as who and what I’ve been and am and will be until I die: my physical body here, breathing.

 

When and as I see myself believing that I can only create when I am feeling ‘emotional’ in any way – I stop and I breathe – I realize that this is the reason why I believe that ‘I do not want to create anything’ just because I have not been as ‘emotional’ as I used to, wherein I have stopped having this desire to ‘create’ because of the link I created between art creation and emotional experience. Thus I direct myself to create without thinking that I require to be emotional/ inspired to do so, which is then me creating as a moment of expression within myself that does not require to be backed by an experience, but can be directed as the moment in common sense = considering what’s best for all as a creation that is not fueled by emotions or feelings, but only externalizing the expression of myself in any given moment that I direct myself to do so.

 

When and as I see myself wanting to get positive feedback on my creations as a way to ‘know’ that I have ‘touched’ them in any way, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am trying to make of art an emotion/ feeling instigator instead of actually supporting myself and others to stop the mind and get back into the physical reality that does not require feelings or emotions to be and exist – hence I direct myself to use pictures, images, paintings in common sense to give them a new meaning based on what life is, what life can be if we all work together to actually create a world that’s best for all, wherein the only role that art can take is the creative process in itself wherein we all realize ourselves as our own creators and within that, being self responsible about such creations in order to ensure that we are in fact considering each other in every moment of creation, and stop creating as a means to elevate our egos –

 

I commit myself to stop any aura of specialness toward art, and simply accept it, see it as any other form of expression coming from a fellow human being that is valuable just for the part of this reality that it represents, without seeing it as ‘holy objects’ or ‘special objects’ in my world.

 

I commit myself to establish the Equal Money System that will ensure that dreams of fame and fortune stop being this constant fuel for the desire to be special and unique within beings, but instead become an actual point of support to ensure that all beings can learn how to express through art if they want to do so, and have no restrictions based on time, survival or any other form of belief of what is art/ what is not art – but simply using materials to create as a way to get to know ourselves through our creations, be able to reflect about reality in a self-supportive way wherein emotions and feelings are no longer in the way but we direct the work to be an actual representation of the realization of who we are as one and equals as life.

 

 

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