Tag Archives: glory

213. Opinionated Elitism: Intellectual Prickism

Revolutionary –Elitist Character – because all worry and concern about the system was not self-honest, but rather aiming at personal glory.

Continuation of the Elite Character

The Revolutionary Character:

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I required a reason to stand up for life in equality as in having a particular ‘bad life’ or suffering in order to advocate a world system that will ensure all living beings are supported for life and in this, believe that any form of suffering was necessary for us to stand up, without realizing that such suffering, struggle and abuse has been he direct outflow of our own accepted and allowed existence in selfishness, self interest and utmost greed that leads to the negligence of other beings as ourselves, which leads to accepting and allowing a reality of abuse and neglect, simply because we were not apparently directly affected by it, when the reality is that we all are aware at some level of everything that goes on in this world, and that no matter how hard we try to ‘make our lives work’ and ‘try to make it’ in this world, we will never get to an actual state of well being unless we change the system that is currently fostering the conditions of abuse as a means to survive.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to comply and form my judgment about reality based on ‘critical opposition’ to a system that I thought had to ‘work for us’ no matter what, without ever questioning why it is that the only civil-obedience act that I would know of was paying for taxes and voting for political representation, never actually realizing that this world is the way it is because we have all collectively agreed to the non-sensical rules and regulations as ‘laws’ that are only benefitting a minority of the population that lives in opulence, while the majority  is neglected and side viewed by any form of human-rights and laws that could guarantee the general well being of mankind as equals, though because this would imply having no ability to abuse and exert power over someone that isn’t forced to ‘make a living’ to get by and survive, we simply agreed that living in optimum conditions would mean having to work/ having to have a constant struggle to ‘make it’ in this world, accepting this as the general imprint we grow up as children, always aiming at ‘getting better/ progressing/ developing’ but always witnessing things only going wrong, bad, corrupted, failing and within this

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to start conforming to an apathy and general mocking of our politics and governmental systems due to believing that they were the only bad guys creating the problems I was witnessing in my environment as the country and the world, and that we, the people, had to ‘fight for our rights and be heard,’ generating an entire energetic personality of constant opposition, criticism, wanting to hoard as much knowledge and information about the world as possible so that I could ‘defend’ myself when being asked about my opinions about politics, economics and social matters. I realize that in this all I was not In fact looking at the actual reality of people, but mostly being entertained by numbers, graphics, pictures that I would see in the media in order to create a particular Experience about ‘how bad, how wrong and twisted the world is’ without ever even questioning my own participation within it as an equal-part that is responsible for Everything that goes on in this world, no matter what I do or what I don’t do, the sheer fact that we are living beings is already indicating that we have all tacitly agreed with the current ways the system works – and within that, any form of change cannot come only from a new system in place, but must be In place through our individual change and self correction within the understanding of what it is that Life must be as What is Best for All.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to for a while not question my reality further because of seeing that ‘out of my reach’ and seeing the understanding of how money works, how money is created and what the devaluation of our currency meant – beyond just ‘erasing’ three zeros’ – and simply brush it aside as if it was something that had ‘nothing to do with me’ at the moment. Not realizing that everything that was making my life work was not out of ‘nowhere’ but money that is what enabled me to continue living and being educated and existing only seeking for my own benefit, because it is quite clear how if I had any form of physical struggle to get money as in not having enough money, I would have questioned my  reality further  – yet I used the reality, the knowledge and information for my own benefit as a way to make myself ‘knowledgeable’ and what I’ve been tagging as ‘system savvy’ in order to perpetuate the intellectualism of the problems in the world to have interesting ‘talks’ with other people that would seem ‘equally interesting’ to me to do so, and within this never really actually SEEING the problems we were speaking about as the actual reality of people, but were only using it as a way to show off knowledge and information, have long talks over coffee and ‘plot’ some amusing plans to ‘overcome the system’ that would go no further than just that, talking and having no inkling of an actual plan, way and method to in fact create a change in this world – thus, my concern about the system must be seen not as an actual act of caring, but was also imprinted with my desire to start making a name for myself in order to get to be part of the Intellectual-Elite that could talk about the problems in the world and earn great money out of it. (Read: 207. Changing the World in Self Interest)

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be ‘informed’ from an early age about what was happening in the world, but this was all based within self interest as in having the ability to Know more about the world, to be quite the ‘exceptional child’ that would not be amused by ‘childish games’ but would act as an adult in order to seem special and within this,once again, building up a point of specialness, superiority and recognition over time in order to get to be ‘the most’ everyone told me I could be, which became then an over-confidence as an Experience based on me being ‘opinionated’ and having ‘critical views’ on the world early on, which made me feel good when people would be amazed of my wits and knowledge and information, never really in myself even considering how what I was speaking about, was being actually lived and experienced in Reality by human beings that are also part of myself as everyone and everything that is here – which is how we have intellectualized reality instead of actually Understanding it in order to create a feasible way to change our living-ways and within this, promote an actual system-change.

 

I realize that my interest for the world matters was also in self interest for all of the above mentioned points: superiority, specialness, being ‘witty’ and system savvy wherein no real actual consideration of the lives of the people that I was generalizing with data and names and history was actually about. This is how once again, we are only able to intellectualize reality because of the protection and security that money is granting us, a select sector of the population that has been ‘gifted’ with the ability to have a dignified living, neglecting the majority that is out of our sight and only reduced to ‘world news’ of poverty, starvation, abuse, trafficking, animal extinction and wars that we see only as ‘interesting topics’ that will make us look like a person that Cares, but little did I even care to actually be and become a human being that understands the reasons and actual detail of why the lives of human beings have been neglected to such an extent that we’ve reduced Actual Lives to graphics, to GDP numbers and figures that in no way serve Life, in no way actually consider the living conditions of such people that are just forming parts of percentages, numbers and statistics that indicate an apparent growth or devaluation of life on Earth.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to never question how it was possible to have a ‘Devaluation’ of our currency which would be the same as ‘devaluing’ life in one way or another – within this, missing out all possible common sense that I could have considered if I had allowed myself to investigate further on  how money exists, and how money is created, and the actual laws and regulations that dictate our reality, but instead, only used such knowledge and information for my own personal benefit as a opinionated character, having some form of ‘criteria’ to speak about the world simply because of judging this as proper to educated and wealthy people. There you go, intellectualism exposed.

 

I Forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to hide the fact that my interest on world matters was actually only based on attaining/ hoarding knowledge and information as a synonym of money, wherein I would be planning already how ‘great’ I was going to be when having had a life of being informed on social matters, politics, trying to understand wall street and becoming a news junky just so that I could give lectures/ talks about my education, my ‘awareness’ of the problems of the world while gaining a name for myself as this type of ‘good being’ that would fight for social justice and a revolution,  without being self honest with myself to see how the starting point of this all was in self interest and not really caring about investigating the actual lives of the people I could be naming as general figures and numbers that we use in order to sound ‘cool’ and ‘intelligent,’ while neglecting even asking why such numbers and figures of poverty, starvation, war, crime, unemployment, rise of prices and any other act of corruption existed in the first place.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that exposing my selfish desires to ‘help the world’ would make me a ‘bad person’ not realizing that we have all been living lives masking our self interest with benevolence, goodness and ‘good will’ that has never in fact existed, as if it really had existed, we would have done something already about this world. Thus,

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to plan/ plot and project a life for myself based on being an ‘aware’ being, like the ultimate intellectual that could talk about all spheres of life in order to sound interesting, to even find a partner that could ‘fill in the gaps’ with more knowledge and information as an ‘intelligent being and socially aware – whatever such tag would in any way imply as ‘worthy’ to me – and a social-group of people that I could fit in based on my desires to have friends in elitist-intellectual positions as I deemed that to be ‘my spot’ within my life, and within this

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to admire, even idolize people that were these ‘examples’ in my life of what it was to read a ton of books, have huge libraries in their houses, collect art, have the ultimate sybarite lifestyle while being very aware of the system and talking about change while eating some form of delicacy with wine, which was the precise type of social reunions that I wanted to preserve in my life – and I repeat: while theorizing about the problems in the world, which is unacceptable.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to value who a person is according to the education they have, the knowledge and information about ‘the world system’ that they have memorized, because of having created my own standards of intelligence based on knowledge and information placed ‘at the service of humanity,’ which is where the revolutionary-intellectual character exists, never realizing that within this, I was supporting the very cogwheels that make this wordl system turn wherein knowledge and information is valued more than life, wherein all money is valued more than life without understanding how there could be no money, no real value if there was no actual physicality that we could in any way put a price tag on, including ourselves as ‘knowledgeable beings’ that can sell such ‘wits’ within the academic and intellectual circles in the form of books, lectures and general elitist-status of social investigators that may propose a ton of ways to create a change in this world but never in fact even consider how to make it a reality as a process of Self Responsibility by the individuals, because all solutions were only looked at in the form of opposition, revolution and further criticism of the system without looking at the monetary system as the source and core of the problem that must be corrected and aligned in this world to support Life in Equality.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to also use this accumulation of knowledge and information to gain the tags that people would generally see me as ‘acculturated intelligent person’ which became part of my ‘steps toward success’ in this world system because of having done all the research and deliberate accumulation of knowledge and information for my own benefit, to seem like a good doer, revolutionary, future ‘leader’ of change in self interest. I see and realize that there could be no actual good intention the moment that I was using knowledge and information as a form of reputation that I could later on Sell to the same system I was trying to oppose. I realize that within this world system, I tis not not oppose it or retaliate against it and try and make a living out of doing so, but instead become part of the system, educate myself, support other’s education in order to recognize the fact that there is nothing to oppose, but to align, correct and direct to an outcome that is best for all.

 

I realize that whenever self interest as our own personal benefit is in place when trying and ‘do good’ to this world can only backfire as a self-deception that we have to take self responsibility for, and that it is not to be judged any further other than taking the necessary actions to align our lives and our dedication to understanding reality not as a way to abuse such knowledge and information for our own benefit, but to in fact self-forgive any remains of personal/ selfish interest about ‘changing the world’ / making a change and take the necessary actions to be self responsible which doesn’t exist ‘out there’ as some major reform in the system at the moment, it begins with our every seemingly ‘unimportant’ thoughts in our head whenever we place ourselves on top of others, whenever we want to be ‘right,’ whenever we want to have the ‘right answer’ all the time which is a point that is not indicating anything else but the desire to remain in a knowledgeable and righteous position that actually does a lot of harm upon reality, wherein intellectualism has become part of the general abstraction of reality into nice words and pictures to depict the reality, instead of actually investigating how Reality operates, why such people have been neglected, how our very own lives depend on their suffering and abuse and how our very worlds of elitist first world lifestyles are stemming from another’s endless laboring days in conditions that no knowledge and information can change in this world.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to see the desire of changing the world as a ‘noble act’ within our society that I had to attain to in order to be part of a select-renowned group of people as an artist or intellectual, or linguist or whatever that I could be and become in order to get my ‘big part of the cake’ while holding an image of a ‘good doer’ in my society, and be known and praised and recognized for that, without realizing to what extent I had simply then acted in self interest all the time and never really caring as the actual expression of what that word implies about the reality of the people and situations and events I was only reducing to long strips of words that were not lived at all.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to read people’s biographies as in revolutionary people, artists mostly  as examples of what I wanted to be and become and within this starting point of fame, recognition, getting to be part of history books, desire to get to the ‘top’ and be ‘superior’ within my society as knowledgeable person/ an intellectual of ‘the greatest kind’ wherein I learned how this type of recognition was an acceptable way of becoming rich/ wealthy while still holding on a façade of ‘activist’ as a ‘good doer.’ I realize that I deliberately neglected the absurdity and paradox I would have made of myself by becoming rich out of opposing the system and the lack of integrity that really exists in all our so-called intellectual spheres in this world, where it is very nice and simple to talk and talk and talk about the problems in this world, blame the government or any other institution and always avoiding seeing one’s own life and the decisions made based on wanting to obtain a point of benefit in absolute self interest.

 

I commit myself to continue writing the revolutionary-elitist character out, in order to see how even in what could be spotted as ‘good intentions’ there were actual greedy interests behind it, most likely wishing to succeed only at an individual level and forgetting about the actuality, the physicality the actual living conditions of the people that are reduced to numbers, stories, figures that are sold in books and lectures and further story-telling journalism without proposing an actual living solution that can Stop such abuse and negligence in humanity. I commit myself to establish the Equal Money System as the common sense that is necessary in this world, which can hold no specialness or hero-like action, this is about the reality that should have always been but were too busy satisfying/ satisFRYING our own egos.

 

This will continue

 

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Life Reviews to Open Your Eyes:

 

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Day 36: Vulgar Display of Power

A spiritual master, a judge, a gun, the image of Christ on a cross, an exuberant city hall building, a prison, criminal record, a car, food, clothes, water from a tap, a toilet, a machine, a college degree, the Vatican, the White House, a famous person, a circus, a house, gold chains, kings, queens, a TV, a party, a synagogue, a sugary-drink corporation, a school,  a yacht, an ideology, a plant, a skyscraper, a personal gadget, a last name/ family name, a politician, a computer, a banker, a regular working man that ‘earns a living’ – in this reality where Money has become the divide between ourselves and Life in Equal availability for all, anything we use, abide to, follow, buy, sell and indulge into with masked innocent ways (read religion and spirituality) are governed by and represent a form of power over others – including your parents – why?  They all entail a relationship of power just as anything currently does in a world wherein life is subdued to the illusion of power that money entails in this reality.

 

“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use my dreams of wealth and success to become the control that decides the fate of many through protecting the rights of the few as justified as a free choice opportunity, brainwashing even many of the poor into the hope that they may also one day Live the dream without me realize that I have in fact created a dream for me, but a nightmare for others without considering that an Equal System is in fact a shared dream, without any nightmare as side-effect.” Bernard Poolman

 

The moment that we create a point of superiority and inferiority/ more than and less than idea and perception towards another being, an item, a single part of this reality that we create and generate a particular experience toward – either a want, need, desire, fear, resistance – implies one single thing: we are Not standing One and Equal to everything and everyone that exists in this world, and that means we are living in a constant re-creation of this Idea of separation through our current monetary system, wherein it becomes obvious that life is not being readily given accepted as one and equal for all in our reality, because we have created Capitalism as the way to instead become flagrant righteous beings that according to the amount of money you have, your vulgar display of power will be praised accordingly. And I say ‘praise’ because absurdly enough, we get absolutely mesmerized and tantalized by the ‘rich and the famous’ in this reality, to the point that we can have their sybarite lifestyles recorded, call it a “Reality Show” and it will get Millions of viewers that would rather get a vicarious sense of enjoyment from such vulgar display of power than informing themselves about How on Earth have we come to this low-end in society wherein Money is dictating the very breath we breathe in.

 

Hence the need to seek for god, the need to always have to decide upon yes/ no, black or white, be  in favor of/ against of others, subdue ourselves to a spiritual authority in the name of ‘good fortune’ where being a ‘good neighbor’ becomes a survival tactic rather than a real act of equal compassion. Because of this separation toward life, we have made of this living reality a constant survival mode wherein having food, water, clean clothes and proper sanitation can be a luxurious lifestyle for those that have Nothing to eat and drink; while on the other side of the coin, the need to capitalize money drives an entire civilization that is willing to do anything possible to get to achieve the regularly promoted ideal of happiness and well being that, in our contemporary society, means ‘being rich and having it all.’ Why have we accepted wealth which is a blatant display of spite toward any single being that is below the range of what any regular mortal can aspire to throughout a lifetime and not see it as abuse, but rather justify it with blatant excuses such as: god made us this way, people are paying for their past sins with such unhealthy pauperdom.

It is an absolute dissonance currently to click on an RT video to watch news about an ongoing war situation in this world and having to bare watching advertisement campaigns that fashion industries have designed to – now in a more ‘royally fucked’ way – implant the absolute desire to ‘be strong and powerful’ that is currently promoted toward women, transforming an opportunity to stand equal to all living beings – males included of course – and making it just another gimmicky ‘fashion statement’ while instilling desires for such ‘absolutism’ that was accepted some centuries ago in this reality as the ultimate power: having it all and the world at your feet (or below you several meters from your balcony.) Has anything ever really evolved? No, it just got suited into a TV format wherein the ruling of a few has become the very corporations and institutions that we all depend upon, once again, because of Money.

 

 

Ask yourself: why do we study degrees? To be able to have a stable income/ job that enables us to life – this is according to theory of course, as it is being proven now how having PhD’s can get you nowhere or remain underemployed, which proves that everything that you have specialized yourself was ‘not worth it’ in a reality where all that matters is to live fast and die young – which translates into: consume all you can until you end up eating yourself away. This is what at a physical level we actually do when accepting and allowing a reality of consumption with no regard of what the hell it is that’s giving us this ‘power’ to exist, and why on Earth is such power is not readily existent/ given for ALL in Equality.

 

We have now created ‘special considerations’ toward points in our reality wherein we justify such disparity and polarization when having to watch femmes seducing men in expensive gowns within a royal palace for a few seconds before watching information about an ongoing war with no signs of receding. Why is such vulgar display of power a must-watch for all? Because of money, because advertisement has become a powerful industry in direct proportion to how often we actually indulge into such ‘lifestyles’ as a means to mimic an idea of life that cannot possibly be a Reality for all. Come on, we’re being fed dreams and the naivety of it all is: we still fall for it. Other ‘special filters’ include justification towards abuse due to ‘respecting’ a particular culture, tradition, religion, preference, opinion – all building blocks of the illusion that we have become as selfish beings that don’t really care about creating a world that is best for all, but rather improving and evolving into ‘better ways’ to have it all for oneself and for that: Money is the weapon of choice.

How does this work?

“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that a system of wealth and property rights is a system of control that is a form of protectionism where only some are protected against the others that do not have equal rights.” Bernard Poolman 

 

Isn’t it a vulgar display of power to have the audacity to squander money in things you don’t require to live while the world starves?

Money is the manifestation of Inequality in this world. We essentially have become the living-split and spite of ourselves when transforming life substance into energy, wherein Money represents that fuel that we have all made ourselves dependent upon, our own  enslavement as ‘our world system/ society’ wherein if you don’t have money = you die. And who benefits from this? Anyone that has generated enough wealth to be able to employ needy people created and accepted by default as ‘poor people’ in society to do the type of jobs that your regular rich person would simply not move a single hand to do. Thus this clarifies how abuse can only exist in the name of power/ power can only exist if abuse exists and abuse can only exist if energy as separation exists.

 

“ I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that once an Equal System is in place, me as the wealthy will no longer have slaves whose Lives I can buy and will have to clean up after myself with my own two hands. This will force me to realize that I as the wealthy have only ever existed at the mercy of slaves and that I have abused the slaves without mercy and should not expect mercy when I never gave it. “ Bernard Poolman

 

A person that is not willing to give to another what they want for themselves, is already abdicating the very ability to live in this world, it is digging your own grave as it is the ultimate statement of you not willing to stand in the shoes of another and consider that they too are yourself and would very much like you tot care about an extreme level of  poverty and unhealthy precarious conditions that they are enduring.  There is certainly no regard to any other being the moment that a definitive stance against equality is established and complaining does a great job to abdicate our equal responsibility within this global problem we’re facing.

 

“I commit myself to the Institution of Democracy as Government by the People, through the People, in fact – with NO authority abdicated to parliament or single Leaders, as that always leads to abuse.

I commit myself to the recognition of the crimes of wealth and ownership as the admission of pre-meditated murder and abuse to do grievous bodily and mental harm, so that morality and integrity may be restored to be values of Life and not profit.

I commit myself to the end of the Tyranny of wealth and ownership.

I commit myself to restore Life to be the only acceptable nature of man on Earth.”

Bernard Poolman

 

It’s in our hands now – we either continue deprecating Life into a sensual experience that comes and goes where consuming the most is considered as being fortunate, lucky and wealthy – or we start realizing to what extent our own “values” are the very reflection of a twisted morality that has been shaped Not according to what’s best for all, but according to the interests behind a machine that continues instigating desires, wants and needs while defending it with the infamous ‘free will’/ ‘free choice’ and ‘liberty’ – all false concepts now being used to promote individualism at its finest.

 

The key to stop the engine of this roaring chainsaw is in our hands.

“It’s time to decide: We decide: we make it or we die “ – The Unicorns Tuff Luff

Be One Vote for World Equality – Support the Equal Money System 

 

malls the churches of capitalism

 

 

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All quotes from Bernard Poolman were taken from the blog:

Also read:

 

Interview to understand this process and the world:

And the Soul of Money Series that is a complete explanation of our current downfall along with the steps to create solutions that are relevant to each one of us in our reality.

 

 

Take a moment to watch this great animation by Micah Buzan that depicts the current reality wherein we are consuming ourselves in the name of Money

THE THIEF – Animation + Music by Micah Buzan


It’s all About the Attitude!

“Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude.”

‘It’s all about the attitude’ Has become quite a well known way to insert ourselves into the world system that is pretty much image driven and how getting the right looks, the right outfit and the right presentation can get you to achieve your goal in a successful manner. I also listened about this in the interview Apathy Control within the series the Soul of Money which explains this mechanism to the T, and also giving awesome perspectives on how to use the system, our skills and abilities to support ourselves/ others within a basic principle: Equality as Life to actually develop ourselves within living purpose where ALL beings can be benefited from our personal living commitment to create a system that ensures life is equally regarded and dignified for all.

However, at the moment in this world, such statements represent the Capital-I, the eye that sees and buys/ sells whatever is fulfilling a positive perspective of oneself reflected on another – or any other idea of self that is sought/ pursued within a positive view perception, all aiming at the highest target on the chart of ‘successful living’ within this world.

 

The quote reminded me of the Sex Pistols and how their success revolved around proposing an image which became the inevitable reference to Punk Rock in the 70’s, and how the image and attitude made the band ‘who they are’ as a famous act in England and the world,  as opposed to being a particularly skillful set of musicians. Their image actually became a successful advertising campaign for a clothing store that “changed its focus from retro couture to S&M-inspired “anti-fashion”, with a billing as “Specialists in rubberwear, glamourwear & stagewear” (from Wikipedia entry on Sex Pistols)

And so a trend was born: being punk – and later on any regular rockstar was ‘all about the attitude’ that would often overshadow the actual skills that such people would actually present as musicians.

What is attitude? It is an image, a presentation, a character that in such case  – and in all cases that represent ‘successful living’ depict strength, power, determination, freedom, enjoyment, certainty, dominion and a lots of glamour – all that which any regular being within the westernized world would deem as traits to aspire owning/ becoming/ living by.

 

I’m pretty sure that you’ve sometime in your life had an ‘idol’ that you can identify as a role model because of the attitude they would present as a character that You would like to be like/ become. It’s like when you ‘fall in love’ with someone and you don’t know anything about them, but you like their presentation, their attitude, their ‘flair’ and in that:  you want to own them/ possess them to become equal and one to such attitude, because: you perceive you lack such attitude/ flair yourself.

What happens with such human predictability? We’ve got a sellable item as something/ any character that YOU will surely buy as an experience that you acquire with money, within this confirming that we are in fact a consumerist driven society seeking for positive-highs through anything that can represent a ‘better idea’ of what being a human being is, something that makes you feel ‘better’ about yourself because we haven’t yet realized how every relationship that we have created with  and toward anything/ anyone in this world, Is stemming from separation, a perceived ‘lack,’ an unfulfilled state of being that has become like a damnation that seeks to be ‘complete,’ ‘fulfilled,’ and satisfied by anything that will level up the perceived positive experience into a constantly up kept status quo of well-being.

We’ve created a picture-driven world wherein characters are valued for the attitude they present.

 

We’ve got a winner

So who benefits from this human weakness to idolize, mimic and even obsess about characters such as what we get on the media about famous people/ celebrities/ rockstars/ rocket scientists/ CEO’s/ sports people and virtually anyone that is ‘above’ your regular Joe? Well, anyone that is well aware of how we tend to follow such weakness on to the grave if necessary – just to get a ‘little piece of heaven,’ and in that buy anything and anyone that will give us the same experience that we perceive such beings experiencing themselves as.

 

Ask yourself: why have we become such addicts to idolizing? Why have we become obsessed with fueling someone’s self-created masquerade of success such as presenting a single ‘attitude’ that will drive the masses crazy?

I was listening to the radio and Elvis Presley came on – a white man that got all the attitude  (and voice) to rock people’s world – literally speaking – while singing covers by Little Richard and Ray Charles. So, what sold was the image that this man had, the entire attitude that broke the paradigms of his time. Obviously and the same point we can transpose to anyone else in the music world for example, wherein they might have the attitude/ looks that sells well, but have to sing someone else’s compositions because they actually haven’t developed the skills to write their own songs.

This is just an example and analogy of what we have become as a whole: a picture driven society.

A symptom of a plastic world is where looks/ attitude sells, regardless of ‘what’s inside’ and in that, we have doomed ourselves to become perversely driven by images, attitudes wherein we know what we want, we know that we like to buy that which will make us feel at least a little bit closer to that which we aspire to become – and all of this is what makes up our current CULTure, where your success is determined by the amount of self-seeking individuals that you can attract by presenting all the attributes that you know the majority ‘lacks,’ but in fact simply haven’t allowed themselves to accept as an equal attribute themselves.

We’ve got a way to go to remove all the limitations that have lead us to ‘pay for’ entertainment and experiences, because we will learn how we can give that to ourselves without fueling an entire machinery of superficial values that have no regard to life in Equality. The entertainment system will have to implode as the real values of Life emerge within each one as the consideration that everything we have ever bought and sold has had a fake value imposed upon.

The one and only value in this world is Life.

Make sure you are Not part of this thinking pattern wherein looks is all that counts and ‘talents’ have become simply morphing into more lucrative ways to sell yourself and get the most of the cake.

 

For Self-Support to step out of any form of mind control:

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And to support a system wherein all life will be valued as equal and No one will ever be able to/ resort to ‘sell themselves’ only by looks without developing any actual equality in expression:

Equal Money System 

 

 

Enlighten yourself about who you really are:

The Secret Energy-Consuming Machine Revealed: DAY 19

Self-Gratifying Machines

I came across a picture on Facebook that read the following:

‘There’s a point in your life when you get tired
of trying to fix everything
and trying to make everyone happy
When you finally decide to quite,
it’s NOT giving up.
It’s realizing you don’t need certain people
and the bullshit they bring to your life’

 

It’s in essence a declaration of abdicating self responsibility wherein there is a great scoop of victimization as the person writing being a little white dove that had to sort out everyone’s lives and wanting to change the world and when eventually getting tired of it, deciding to ‘quit’ by shutting themselves off from everyone that they’ve attempted to change while blaming them for ‘bringing bullshit into their life’ – and they seal the deal by justifying it as ‘not giving up’ as if this was in any way part of a life mission they had towards others.

There is this constant desire for the human to make oneself better than, beyond/above a certain point – just like the cliché you see in movie ‘I’m so over him/her/it/that’ and within this, placing oneself in a pedestal to continue existing in the the self-gratifying bubble of such events being nothing but ‘obstacles’ to one’s precious  oath. Inevitably separating oneself from others and neglecting the fact of self creation at all times. It’s ludicrous and people actually click ‘I Like’ to this so I had to share some perspectives and get my spoon in the pie.

I placed a quote from Bernard there:

 

  • Marlen Vargas Del Razo ‎”The point of self forgiveness is to realize that all will have to give up on revenge if we want to change the future of the planet”Bernard Poolman
    This brings common sense in realizing it’s must not be a ‘shut down’ but an actual process of SELF Forgiveness that is required to take SELF Responsibility for yourself as your creation in this world

     

  • And I got the following remarks:

Chita Vergel de Dios at this point in my life i must not be dictated by what people think of me. i will do things that make me happy coz i am a freespirit and not a tight asshole.

 

So ‘freespirits’ – as the new age neologism it seems to be – and ‘tight assholes’ don’t mingle, okay got that.  Though, if we look at this statement, it can justify virtually anything for the sake of ‘being happy’  and being a ‘free spirit’ which is the equivalent to the usual ‘free-will’ and ‘free choice’ that is taken as the most common deluded apparent ‘right’ within people to be/do/speak/babble  whatever they want because that’s apparently  what they come to do here on Earth, nothing but self-pleasuring machines. Bukowski wasn’t that lost after all.

And another one:

  • Albert Gonzalez ‎”you can’t please everyone so you gotta please yourself and if you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with!”

It is amusing to see how these type of ‘wisdom traits’ are able to be created to justify, vindicate and tamper any actual self abuse and human misery just for the sake of ‘seeing the bright side’ of reality.

We can see how ingrained it is to have everyone constantly caring for what others say/ think about oneself – ‘you can’t please everyone, gotta please yourself’ – so whatever it is that pleases you even if its raping animals or babies for your own pleasure and people get annoyed by that, such person has made a statement and thus their ‘will’ is command. Plain self-righteousness with no proper consideration of what  words entail and it can be used as a weapon to defend even the most atrocious acts in the name of ‘being yourself/ staying true to yourself’ and boasting about it as if it was something proud to be of – once again, a condescending trait of humans to not actually see the self created rollercoaster misery that’s being accepted and allowed and only ‘uplifted’ through statements that make oneself feel ‘better’ on a floating bubble that will only burst once enough shit has been allowed inflated on top. That’s how Self Honesty is suggested at ALL times, to stop any point of self deception that allows any form of self abuse.

And the second part of the sentence is just a second-hand washed out way of wiping your tears and conforming after not having your ‘pleasures’ and ‘dreams’ fulfilled – so, it shows how far we can brainwash ourselves to make-believe we can ‘still get our way’ even though it’s not what we wanted to begin with. Feeling and filling oneself up to continue being ‘the winner’ even if by their own standards, they lost the big-score. Winning, losing, being more than/less than = all polarity that is able to be stopped for once and for all if we actually dare ourselves to. 

The human mind works in self-gratifying ways wherein one will tend to see the ‘bright side’ and the ‘half full glass’ for the sake of not being self honest and see the actuality of this reality and our existence and experience within it as nothing else but our own creation. Spitefulness, subtle insults and self-retaliation become part of the way to ‘prove oneself right’ which are words said with no awareness on their full implication, not considering the starting point of them either at all. There is obviously no self-reflection or even actual understanding of anything that we may point out in another being our own accepted and allowed nature as well

Here’s another one that’s been out for group discussion:

“Life is too short to waste another minute on anyone or anything that do not make you happy”

.

Self gratifying machines seek pleasure, happiness, joy just like a kid recently introduced with sugar during their first Halloween, they’ll seek for it in any possible way and justify it along the lines of being here for the sake of ‘being happy’ as if that was the ultimate reason for the existence of the human being on Earth. Right.

Billions of people seeking pleasure, happiness, no wonder we’ve turned this world into a gigantic McDonald’s ‘drive-thru’ where people get in and out of ‘relationships’  – or get into a franchise of one-night standing – get hooked in drugs, videogames, tv, food, any extreme activities that will fulfill the need to be constantly seeking this ‘happiness’ – all of this done without the least attempt to look at OTHER living forms coexisting in hideous ways in this same world while one is seeking that ultimate ‘shot’ and ‘grace’,  seeking the ultimate fuck to get oneself satisfied for the remainder of the day – just pleasure seeking machines that won’t obviously be willing to walk any path of self-understanding, self forgiveness and self honesty as that won’t certainly fulfill the constant rush and requirement of ‘happiness’. We’ve become thing else but mind addicts definitely.

Now, to broaden the scope, see if someone starving is also ‘seeking for happiness’, see if they can also afford to not go wasting their lives on something/someone that won’t fulfill their inner mindfucks. Obviously not, they’d mostly ask why are people so imbued with their own personal jackoffs without giving a fuck about the rest of the world that does suffer and that don’t have even the least amount of ‘grace’ from the so-called bliss that lightworkers claim exist as a ‘godly presence’ in this world. It is all just a real mind-split reality wherein unless each one get to live in one’s own flesh what other living beings are currently going through in this same reality,  we won’t stop existing in such absolute bullshit of seeking  happiness, joy and apparently doing anything possible to not be a tightass.

Self Honesty is daring to see ourselves with all our traits, with all our mind games exposed to see how we’ve attempted to always be the ‘winner’ and within this, disregarding life, disregarding others and instead continuing and ensuring the abuse that’s being currently perpetuated by everyone that exists within one single iota of ourselves being and feeling superior to someone or something in/of this world.

 

Equality cannot tolerate any form of condescendence, Equality as Life debunks any fluffy bubbly cloud as thoughts and beliefs of humans attempting to continue existing in such sugar-rush at all times.
Time to Stop – clock’s ticking out.

 

Support yourself at Desteni dare yourself to face yourself and all our mind addictions – the real rehab for LIFE.

 

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The ‘Loving’ perspective

 

The point of considering others or everything/everyone within my equation of the previously perceived and self-created idea/definition of ‘love’ certainly broadened my perspective of how we are used to holding ‘special bonds’ to people that se consider ‘special’ within our reality – that’s then an obvious point of separation wherein anyone that would claim ‘loving’ would in fact only have in mind/consider that particular person, thing or even activity that they ‘love doing’.

I had only spoken/ written about ‘love’ within the past as all the illusions of relationships based on the creation of a certain ‘feeling’ or ‘experience’ towards others which were nothing else but my own creation, I never even considered that I had to first see what self-love was to be able to then consider ‘loving another’. That was an absolute energetic game that has no place within what’s here.  All in all I’ve cleared the word from the usual associations and then realized that I would simply use the word ‘care’ – as a less-energetically charged within the general understanding of such word within our society – to indicate that which I want for myself and others as Equals.

I simply saw that it is not necessary to create little fluffy clouds or create the opposite reaction as rejection to all usual representations around the word love – like experiencing the usual ‘heart’ as something obnoxious, nothing but an inciting red representation of what seems like a 180 degree opposite placement of an ass or a pair of boobs. Instead of ridiculing the word with such symbols, we should all rather consider what actual love is.

Considering love as myself first and see what I required correcting and aligning within myself to realize what it was in fact was the first point to take on.

 

What is caring for myself? Not abusing myself would be the  first definition and association, but it would be based on a polarity towards ‘abuse’ only. So within that, self care, self enjoyment, self responsibility, self respect become the building blocks to see how to construct myself as that and live it out; this way we actually create such point of self care which didn’t precisely exist before in such a common sensical perspective – meaning considering that what I can take as ‘self-love’ can be lived and applied by others equally devoid of any mental experience as feelings/emotions.

Self acceptance became the foundation on this as I had resorted in ‘finding love’ as finding ‘acceptance’ in and through others, by being ‘someone’ in another’s life so, that point had to be brought back to myself to Care for myself. Then it was an entire process which I’ve described before and that is still being lived and applied as we breathe here.

The point of physical care became an actual consideration of myself as the physical, and not just wanting to preserve a ‘machine’ in a ‘well state’ – it became a completely new understanding through what we’ve realized as ourselves being this physical body at the moment and how much we’ve neglected it while existing only as thinking upper boxes at the top of the body. That point of being gentle with ourselves, learning to experience ourselves from head to toe at all times – caring for myself as in making sure I am well nurtured, I don’t oversleep or sleep less than what I required, not place myself in any situation of potential harm etc. – and not done out of ‘fear’ but out of common sensical considerations. Being self responsible is also a point that has supported me to establish that point of self appreciation again.

There are many things I wasn’t even aware of at a physical level – if I ever was, I would regard it as ‘normal’ like experiencing a nerve wracking sensation, an anxiety experience, some type of depression experienced  as something ‘normal’ and ‘usual’ only to then find out that I’m actually also abusing myself within existing in such energetic possessions instead of being here-as-life, breathing.

From physical care as self-care to caring for another. I bite my lower lip in means of the giving and taking action that this implies. We’ve got to demonstrate through actions, words in our living reality that we in fact care for ourselves and thus, we extend such care for another as ourselves – equal and one – without any hidden agenda, being unconditional in any point of support given and received by another. The point of receiving is something I had to learn to ‘accept’ as myself as I would tend to go into a ‘humbleness possession’ wherein being ‘too meek’ becomes just another way of not acknowledging what we’ve become, what we’ve achieved for example within this process and it’s standing in a polarity point of other points like being ‘recognized’ and so, such humbleness became just another way of playing a personality as a limitation to give and receive what I want for myself.

Giving unconditionally, receiving unconditionally – then we have the creation of such relationships as stable ways of existing – meaning, making sure that such giving and taking is not compromised in any way, that we’re actually able to do this as part of our daily living acts, that we are in fact supporting each other within the principle of what’s best for all and not just continuing the support of ourselves as egos, as personalities – personal-ties –  as people with hidden agendas that seek something else out of it all. That’s how in fact we go transforming any initial point of self interest into a walking-realization of the points that require to be modulated so that any potential separation through the creation of a ‘special bond’ is always re-directed here as what’s best for all, grounding it back to the basics without further poof-loops in the air when realizing it.

Then caring becomes an expression that can be lived with anything or anyone regardless – it must be a two way system just as our binary codes and the very breathing we give and take – because exhaling might be seen as a residue or excretion but it isn’t, it’s beneficial for those beings that take the co2 for their own nurturing like trees/ plants. So we live in a system that is organic in nature where all parts – if not artificially modified to the extent of plasticity – can be restored and reintegrated to the environment with great ease.

[Isn’t plastic just another attempt of self-preservation? the long-lasting inherent desire of humans to be ‘immortal’ translated into an artificial compound that is ‘apparently’ unable to be destroyed? – fascinating us, humans, not considering the outflow of our exertion of inner-desires into the external reality and its disastrous consequences]

 

To care then is to consider that what another is going through within their lives is me in another life as well, considering that what we’ve walked and shared in this world will mark the way for others to come and as such, we cannot leave a world based in fluffy-popable love ideas that require money and feelings to exist. Love must be deflated as the ideal that has been implanted in our heads based on the continuous brainwashing process obtained through our media, through nice stories passed on generation to generation, through traditions and cultural ways of conceiving ‘love’ as that which everyone had to ‘live up to’., inherently linked to success, sex and excess.

We can make of such ‘love’ a grounded expression that is able to be applied, lived as being given and taken as naturally as breath, as who we really are once we’ve realized and placed into action the realization that we are here to learn how to coexist together as individuals, yet moving as one single being. Just like cells in the body that remain individual yet work in groups to form tissue, muscles, organs and systems that conform the entire physical body. That’s the basic functionality that we must realize as ourselves and knowing that if we fuck with ourselves, we’ll eventually fuck with another and within that, cause multiple harms that might not even be seen at first glance, but eventually within being part of the whole and everyone existing in such individualized and compartmentalized version of ‘life’, we start creating rifts between ourselves that are imposed on to this very basic functionality of what we must be/ exist and live as, a separation created only at a mind level – not at a physical one.

Hence the importance of stopping the mind, stopping ourselves from falling into any alternate delusional reality other than what we are and represent at this moment as part of the group that is this living being called Earth and thus simply adjust ourselves, our living reality to be part of the system that’s currently emerging that is completely aligned with who and what we are as Life, where all mental experiences and definitions are being corrected and placed aside to focus on the reality that is palpable and physically verifiable by everyone here.

 

Caring for another as myself then becomes a living condition that we take into consideration not as a ‘must do’ as some type of political obligation, but as part of the basic input we can all integrate every moment that we express ourselves and that when we use our mind, we use it to create and construct that which is best for all, to think that which can be externalized without any ‘shame’ as it won’t contain any personal desires or interests behind. That’s the process we’re walking and that’s the place we have to get to in equal-terms and as part of the equal agreement we’ve now committed ourselves to here on Earth. Transparency in fact.

So, love becomes the realization of self-acceptance, self care, self responsibility and self respect that we are all able and capable of living as ‘who we are’ at all times. It’s always been there, we just haven’t accepted and allowed ourselves to live as it, so we  have to simply live them as who we are.

If you’re ready to love yourself and get out of the previously cheesy conceptions towards such word or even repulsion to it – as I had experienced before –   you are ready to embrace and amalgamate that word as ourselves, as all of the practical living points mentioned here wherein eventually whether we say love or care or consideration, we will be living-it which is what actually matters: being the living word.

Motivation then becomes the movement of self to enjoy being/ doing/ giving what we want for ourselves and everyone else equally which stands along the terms of what’s best for all, so that I live every day knowing and realizing that I’m being part of the necessary change in this world to create an equal-world where Equality is no longer a ‘correction’ or a vacuous concept, but a living reality. I realize that all motivation had been previously delegated on to money, power, success, feelings, sex, glory, fame and any other ephemeral experience that we had tagged as ‘love’ -which is similar to ‘seeking happiness/ love/ bliss’ as the ultimate goal in life – and instead we make that a constant property of living through actual continuous actions, with no more having to pursue glorious scenarios of achieving such elusive ‘lasting effect’ as part of an overrated concept of love or ‘eternal love’ which is unfortunately how it still exists now.

 

So, if we want to change the starting point of our motivation as humanity, we have to begin with ourselves. Seeing where self interest is overriding our reality, seeing where self-enjoyment is not being allowed as ourselves or is obstructing our basic responsibilities – it’s all part of equalizing and moderating our reality into what’s best for all.

We can also realize how we cannot dissociate the Equal Money System from this process to create the necessary conditions for such unconditional love to exist.

Loving sounds like law-being, the law of our being is to stand as equals as life and live the words written here.

For more support or discussion, visit de Desteni Forums wherein we’ll be glad to read and support if required within the understanding of the new way of living as Equals as the life that we’re yet to become.

 

thanks for reading.

 

Embracing Self – by Bernard Poolman

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Point of reference for this post, some interviews by Bernard Poolman:

How will people be motivated? – Equal Money FAQ

LOVE


Rewards and the gore of Glory

reward
n    noun a thing given in recognition of service, effort, or achievement.
a fair return for good or bad behavior.
a sum offered for the detection of a criminal, the restoration of lost property, etc.
n    verb give a reward to. show one’s appreciation of (an action or quality) by making a gift.
(be rewarded) receive what one deserves.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live as a system of rewards wherein all actions, thoughts and spoken words that I expressed have been exerted from the starting point of seeking a reaction, seeking a reward as that fulfilling experience that ‘makes me feel good’ which is nothing else but a confirmation of existing as the mind and ego wherein we then give into valuing and worthing ourselves according to such such reactions and responses within the justification and curse of action of ‘reaping what you sow’ with an added self interest and not only within the single realization of being contributing to what creates what’s best for all – I stop from supporting and existing within/as a system that doesn’t know how to move without getting something in exchange.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define and measure myself according to what others say and react to in relation to what I place as a point of stimuli seeking reactions within words, images, actions – within this being part of the machinery that runs in this system wherein we follow adds and beliefs that will give us the ‘most reward’, the ‘greatest feeling/experience’ which only focuses on enhancing an ego-experience instead of supporting self movement without seeking something in exchange –

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to make of reward/ seeking recognition/ seeking personal-glory the single motif to move instead of having made myself the single starting point and end point of my thoughts, words, deeds as part of the self-creative process in equality, wherein there is nothing to earn, noting to lose, no superlatives to create as I realize that it is the very system of values that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to exist as that perpetuates the current world system that lives in separation of self-worth, self-value as LIFE itself. I stop from participating within this continuous search and quest for obtaining a reward, a confirmation that feeds only the ego of the mind and not all that is here in equality as common sense.

 

I place myself in the position of being the cause and end of whatever I say, do and speak meaning, this will be an accumulative process for all equally and not to feed my ego/mind/ idea of self.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having been motivated to excel in school for the sake of ‘feeling good’ for ‘having done well in school’ which would then place me in a place of honor wherein everyone wanted to be in ‘my place’ and within this, tacitly accepting that there would be those ‘below me’, those that hadn’t been ‘good enough’ to be next to me which developed a sense of injustice that I could not understand at that time yet within this accepting and allowing  the system of winning and losing as if it was something that I had to accept to be ‘proud ‘of conquering.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to make of this life an eternal game of winning and losing, of fighting to ‘keep my place’, of creating endless rivalries towards others for the sake of keeping myself ‘on top’ wherein there would then be those that were below and within this, accepting and allowing to trigger reactions within me and others due to the segregation and discrimination that such ‘honors’ create when being in school.  This must stop as part of the schooling system and must be seen for what it is: a harmful way of creating ‘incentives’ for kids to learn and excel in school.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to accept any form of reward as a child for ‘getting good grades’ wherein I accepted and allowed myself to ‘feel good’ for having obtained such first places which ‘made me happy’ because it made my parents happy and I would be able to obtain stuff from it which then would make this the point of motivation in separation of myself, even if I would deny the ‘reward’ at times, in the back of my head it felt good.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to walk in zig-zag going back and forth between wanting to be recognized and then being embarrassed or not wanting to be ‘seen’ and thus hide or pretend to be humble while in fact, the thought and experience that would come with the multiple recognitions became part of ‘who I was’ which even if I denied to a certain extent, it became part of the self-worth and how I would perceive myself as a human being.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ever feel ‘bad’ about getting recognitions because of going into thoughts of what others/those that didn’t ‘win’ would be thinking about me and my position and within this, fearing being envied and fearing being later on ‘hated for being perfect’ as this is in fact what I had to walk through when going to school.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to deny such rewards later on yet secretly rejoicing and feeling good about having created a ‘good impression’ within people according to being someone that would always get ‘the first places’ wherein I would then give into the polarity of feeling bad for those that couldn’t have it easy in school – within this never actually questioning why there had to be such obnoxious ‘displays of ego’ as honor-spots for getting ‘good grades’ wherein I learned what it is to envy, what it is to be envied and within this allowing myself to be extremely hurt when people around me would desire to be in my spot and I would then become ‘ashamed’ of having such distinction/separation which led me to rejecting being in such a  conflictive position which I then developed into closing myself off due to fearing ‘overshadowing others’.

It is now clear how this single point developed as a form of desire/rejection of being recognized / seeking recognition wherein in this attempt to ‘equalize’ myself to those that I was taught were ‘less fortunate’ than myself, I engaged in relationships with people that were mostly the opposite of what I was in school which is the ‘me’ that I sought to escape away from, resulting in the creation of a more radical personality, not knowing how to direct my inconformity with the world that would value and worth you according to how obedient you were towards the system. All of this caused extensive inner conflict which I then translated into seeking spirituality, drugs or relationships wherein I could apparently worth/value myself for ‘who I really am’ which was mostly the idea that I created of myself in opposition to the one personality that stood as an ‘A’ Student and an ‘example for all’ to follow’, which bred the same system of comparison instead of simply supporting each other to become equal in potential to be/become what’s best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a system of rewards and punishment as schooling system wherein you get a point of ‘distinction’ that instead of encouraging someone to ‘become better’ it might turn the other way around when not being supported effectively to become equal to our fullest potential – within this instead of motivating kids/ people, we seclude ourselves into eternal comparison and constant rivalry of winning and losing that only feeds the ego of the mind .

This is how parents, teachers literally supported my delusion of being special, of being quite a ‘unique student’ and thus as a result triggering extensive envy and rejection from my fellow school mates which then lead me to go through extensive suffering for having being bullied as a ‘smart ass’ and suffering the envy of those that I deemed my ‘best friends’. It was quite harsh at that time, being 6/7 years old and realizing that your so called best friends could literally turn their back against you in one moment, I just couldn’t understand it. Later on the same people would simply be fed up by the recognition I’d get which lead to further comparisons that made me wonder why on Earth isn’t everyone able to just ‘be a s good in school’ – you know, sometimes we only see the one ‘fucked up side of the coin’ without pondering on how it obviously also gets to affect those who are seemingly ‘on top’ – it did create quite an inner conflict, yet I didn’t give that up because I still held myself as that requirement to ‘excel’.

Sustaining an ‘ego-status’ in this world is linked to money = sustaining the system of greed as ourselves. 

When we are in school we are taught to compete against each other for the ‘first place’, for being ‘the best in our class’ as this will ensure that, as we grow up, we enter the system living out the point of ‘I must beat the other to get the best job/place in society wherein I can make the most money’ and within this competitiveness is bred, ensuring a false sense of improvement that only provides fresh never ending energy placed into the attainment process of such ‘powerful/ superior’ position. I forgive myself that I have accepted this very single act of separation and value over Life itself to become the single mechanism of how this world operates, disregarding Life and everyone as equal.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to judge my classmates that would tell me how they wanted to get my cardex to show it off to their parents so they could get awesome stuff as a reward for them getting excellent grades in school without realizing that within me having accepted such rewards in any form – either money stuff or single remarks of ‘achievement’ I was in essence complying to creating my self-worth and value according to such rewards obtained by others.

This entire pedestal position bothered me as much as I would react when not getting such recognition – This entire conflict here was implanted at an early age by the single acceptance of giving value to myself according to how obedient and how ‘well’ I did in school which I was taught would be the ‘value of my life/ who I am’ which I accepted as real and thus, continued placing effort into being a ‘good student’ for the sake of maintaining a reputation and a certain status that as much as I said I loathed, I would also enjoy due to then being able to stand as a ‘special person’, being acknowledged by others within that and enhancing a sense of popularity  – this encouraged my beliefs and ideas of being someone ‘unique’ yet remaining within the same conflict of ‘why can’t everyone have it as easy as well?’

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that I always had to get a reward for anything I did or say towards others and basing my existence on the quality and nature of such rewards wherein I could confirm that ‘I am accepted/worthy/ valuable person’ or ‘Rejected/ unworthy/ invaluable’ based on what others could assess and say about me according to the system standards that I have tacitly accepted and allowed my the single allowance of identifying myself as such attributes and qualifications.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to delegate such power to others without realizing that this is the very way I learned to ‘exist’ in this world from an early age wherein every time I didn’t get the recognition I wanted, whenever I didn’t get the attention required, I would resort into further seclusion and hostility, a form of anger for having delegated who I am as only being this ‘excellent student’ which lead me to retreat and seek other ways of recognition wherein the apparent ‘intelligence/smartness’ I had would take no place in defining ‘who I am’ – within this seeking the studies and careers wherein I could essentially deviate as much as possible from using what I understood then as intelligence and my ‘natural abilities’ which were part of the preprogrammed assets that create extensive inequality in this world.  I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be defined by preprogramming and limit/ seclude myself further by wanting to oppose such programming yet never actually realizing I did as I was meant to do which was the single point of conflict that would ensure I would remain in eternal conflict towards myself, my position and the world instead of focusing on creating me from a new-starting point wherein I can take what I am effective at and optimize myself in all other points wherein I perceived myself to be flawed.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to play such a role of always being ‘on top’ and ‘recognized’ to the point of creating myself as the type of affable personality wherein I could then seek to be worthy and recognized according to my personality, likes and dislikes. This lead me to then seeking the opposite as in seeking to create a ‘new me’ based not on these previous self-definitions but instead seeking worth and value  by people that were not familiar with ‘who I was’ in school. Within this I didn’t realize how in my attempt to spite the system, to spite my family and everyone around that held this idea of myself as intelligent/good person/ responsible, I spited myself wherein I allowed myself to indulge into things that I wouldn’t have done if I hadn’t been driven by an ego that sought to redeem itself from an early accepted and allowed position. Within this creating conflict only for myself and seeking to go ‘against the tide’ for the sake of redeeming myself as the other side of the coin.

 

It is only now that my preprogramming is challenged that I can see how fear was an obvious drive to do and be what I was, even if I talked myself into believing I was doing it for myself, it was also for the sake of keeping that ego wherein as much as I believed myself to ‘not care’ about such positions, I would and within this create a sense of acceptance or rejection by others.

 

I had almost forgotten how this single point of being accepted/ rejected was so draining, we literally spent our lives trying to be accepted, acknowledge and get a certain position as a ‘reward’ to our application, to our effort, doing it for all and everything else but ourselves – or even if the ‘I do it for myself part’ it was never truly unconditional.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to only act based on ‘what I will earn’ instead of every having actually directed myself to do and be something – I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to be unconditional in my expression but always expecting a single point of confirmation that I exist, fulfilling within this the sense of  the ‘me’ that exists as a a mind consciousness system that is constantly seeking to feed itself to keep existing.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to accept the idea of a heaven wherein I would be rewarded for having been a ‘good person’ in this life – with this single belief accepting the soul-system as the determining factor of my good or bad karma as the ability to decide whether I had been ‘good’ or ‘bad ‘ and decide accordingly the type of experience I’d get after I died which implied I believed in an afterlife wherein all my actions, words and deeds would be reviewed by a ‘superior’ and then give me the ‘eternal life’ accordingly.

 

Within this, I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to shape and mold myself according to ‘how the system works’ and accepting that for everything and anything I do I must obtain something back in ‘equal worth/value’ to that which I am giving away hence never actually being unconditional within what I said, did, wrote.

This idea created yet another conflict because apparently I learned that not asking for anything in return was something actually ‘stupid’ to do – then if asking ‘too much’I’d feel ‘guilty’  due to the same acceptance of the current system wherein everything I’ve got has a certain value which is all linked ultimately to money.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to live in a system of compensation and punishment which stand as the polarity of judging our actions as ‘good/worthy’ or ‘bad/ inadequate’ which we then accepted as ‘who we are’ and allowed myself to be defined accordingly within the world system that stands as a hierarchical system wherein the more you comply to god/ the system, the better position and compensations you have – and instead accepting and approving the fact that those that stood outside of the norm should get punished and eventually denied any sense of self-worth.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to stand in one side of the pole that ensured that the rest could virtually not obtain the same results I had as no two bodies could occupy the same space and within this, accepting the fact that another had to be on top and another below.

 

I can say that I continued with such application of ‘being a good student’ throughout my latest studies in art school – though the starting point changed, it wasn’t for the sake of obtaining a number but simply doing what I required to do as part of school, taking responsibility for what needs to be done. This is something that I would explain to people when they would ask ‘how do you do it’? I saw that many were motivated by getting some reward by teachers, parents and the system, I would simply reply that this was the single point of responsibility I had and so I simply did what had to be done.

So, acting from the starting point of ourselves is one challenge in a world built-up as a system of rewards, yet this can be changed within ourselves in allowing us to see the starting point of why we speak, write, share, do and direct ourselves in everything we do from a common-sense starting point of being a single supportive point for self-realization, for self-equalization as Life in all ways. This can be done so, let’s walk as it.

 

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                  Stopping the hierarchy within the system begins with ourselves


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