Tag Archives: god

383. To Forget to Self-Forgive

First Cousin Once Removed Preview (HBO Documentary Films) (2012) by Alan Berliner

Remember to Forget’ were the words chosen by a poet with Alzheimer as his last statement to the potential million viewers of the documentary ‘First cousin once removed’ by Alan Berliner, which depicts his life in his last months of living with this mental condition, and it is interesting that the words ‘For-Get’ and ‘For-Give’ can be a bit similar, but there’s a world of difference between both, where the act of merely ‘wanting to forget’ can lead us to experience something like Alzheimer, in an attempt to let go of the memories, the identity, the past, the load of experiences with which we created and inflicted the most trauma/harm/abuse within ourselves, and so wanting to forget as a way to ‘cope with the past,’ and that’s how such forced ‘eraser’ move in the mind can lead to this memory-loss problem.

 

I enjoyed this documentary, it’s very well made and I recommend it to see first hand what Alzheimer is like, and the reasons that usually lead to it, along with the genetic disposition that can exist – which as we now understand how the memories of those that have gone before us are integrated within/as ourselves as the mind in the womb, as the information we have ‘pre-loaded’ within us as the ‘sins of the fathers’ – then it makes sense that Alzheimer can ‘run in the family’ as a trait developed to want to forget about one’s deeds, one’s traumatic past, one’s wrong-doings and essentially take the forced road to a ‘way out’ of it all, a way to not face one’s inner demons.

 

The documentary could’ve had a subtitle – in the words of the film’s director – a Poets’ Alzheimer, since the documentary is about the ‘first cousin once removed’ from the director of this film who happened to be a poet, a writer, a translator, a man of ‘great achievements’ only to get to the last days of his life forgetting about it all, and it for sure brings us back to this point of our Journey To Life and the route to Nothingness. Edwin Honig – the protagonist of this documentary – gets to such ‘nothingness’ though not in a self-aware and self-directive manner to it and this is what I’d like to discuss here because it doesn’t make sense to get to this point of ‘Nothingness’ as in remembering – apparently – nothing through simply deciding to block the memory, to forget.

 

The things that Edwin could vividly recall – at times, when it seemed he wasn’t unconsciously deliberately ‘wanting to forget’ – were traumatic moments in his life: being blamed for his brother’s death when he was a child, having been to the army and shooting others, and maybe some family member he was fond of, but that was it. He is shown recordings with traces of the achievements throughout his life explained by himself at an earlier stage in his life, all his books, his poems, his translations of some ‘great writers,’ and so forth, and it was quite amusing to see how he would watch these recordings of himself explaining all his studies, his achievements and saying something in the lines of ‘He’s trying too hard to be someone’ and so yes, this is most of the things we put all our time and effort to, to build up the idea of ‘who we are’ as our mind, our ego – not realizing that life is not memories and how when one has no more memories to ‘hold on to’ then all of these lifetime achievements are reduced to nothing but pretentious additions we identify ourselves as, which can be later on absolutely forgotten and ultimately end up at death. Edwin had kept journals on a daily basis for over 50 years, so he also tried too hard to remember, only to end up forgetting it all. It seems like an ‘overload’ of too many memories, too many things he wanted to keep but eventually forget that he ended up ‘forgetting it all.’

 

I liked the fact that at some point, due to being asked many questions by the documentary maker (his cousin) he would just ask him to be forgotten, to not exist for some days, weeks, months and so in a way it could be him realizing that he was just telling his-story, the tale we all become as a bunch of memories we then believe is ‘all we are’ which is absolutely limited. We have reduced ourselves to become a curriculum, a data base with memories, experiences, feelings, the ideas we believe others have about ourselves, the feelings and constructs we impose onto reality, our entire ego that we accumulate throughout time, and how when we eventually ‘want to forget’ due to the emotional load that it creates within us, maybe that’s when Alzheimer emerges as an absolute ‘shutdown’ of these memories, which I interpret as a decision to Not Forgive, but Only Forget.

 

Dullness

 

Alzheimer seems to be the result of Forgetting to Forgive, but not only ‘Forgive’ in itself, but to Self-Forgive. It’s interesting that Edwin hadn’t been such a good father after all and how his ‘children’ – now grown up males – hold a grudge against him due to what he would do to them, which they interpreted as abusive, as him being an a*hole. And so, Edwin could not remember at all that he had children/sons, and even when the time comes for one of them to visit him, he shows exhaustion, maybe because memories would come back and so the load of remorse, guilt, the entire emotional experience created throughout time could come back, and so he’s left alone. Alzheimer seems to be a way to evade reality, to evade looking at one’s demons and learning how to self-forgive ourselves for it all, a way to escape from facing self-responsibility and as such wanting to ‘put memories down’ not realizing that the level and extent to which we are tied to as our memories and our mind cannot be ‘shut down’ or these ‘side effects’ emerge.

 

This is also another way to see how without walking this process of Self-Forgiveness to learn how to recognize our thoughts, words and deeds that could have caused ourselves inner-conflicts and struggles that we eventually lashed out onto others, affecting them and learn how to self-forgive ourselves for it all, bit by bit, word by word, and we only try and ‘forget it all’ causes an illness, because one is attempting to ‘get rid’ of the memories instead of actually understanding how we created such problems, how we participated in them, why, why did we allow it to become an emotional burden, who did we affect with our deeds too, what do we feel incapable of forgiving ourselves for that we instead choose to simply evade and ‘forget’?

 

And if we were able to remember who we have been from the beginning of our existence, we would have all gone through the same ‘deletion’ process as Alzheimer to go back to ‘ignorance is bliss’ mode, which is in fact what we do whenever we attempt to forget our past, our history and recreate the same abuse and harm because we don’t want to remember and take responsibility for our lives, our world as our creation and change the patterns for once and for all.

 

It’s interesting that one documentary that shows the actual nature of the memories left in a person with Alzheimer can shed more light than any scientific study attempting to understand the origin of it, which once again is also confirming what has been explained at Desteni in relation to Alzheimer Syndrome which I suggest to anyone to investigate and get rid of these ‘enigmas’ that still exist in humanity, while it’s already been 7 years of having the opportunity to learn about the totality of who we are as human beings, as preprogrammed mind consciousness systems that can create a short-circuit process in order to not have to confront one’s own inner demons all the time, creating things like Alzheimer or the usual anxiety, fears, phobias and general stress that we impose onto our physical body every time we are ‘living’-through-the-mind.

 

An aspect I enjoyed is seeing how Edwin only expressed appreciation for the expression of a child – the director’s son – because he was a child, expressing himself with music, in the moment, not questioning him about ‘who he was’ or who he could remember, but just being in the moment, which is also another point to consider about this ‘nothingness’ that we can all exist as, as a self-created result of learning how to self-forgive, to correct, to let go within self-responsibility and full awareness of choosing to be living in the moment – which is different from this form of Alzheimer’s ‘living in the moment’ as an accidental result of wanting to evade one’s memory, which is why in this case someone that doesn’t represent a ‘threat’ to one’s self-definition can become someone we enjoy too.

 

 

This documentary should also support with the realization that who we are and who we define ourselves to be is nothing else but a collection of memories and experiences that we build up as ‘who we are’ and we indeed put so much ‘effort’ onto it, without realizing that it is only the ‘who we are in the mind’ that we are valuing and accumulating as knowledge and information, while we forget about the words that we can live and become as an essence of ourselves – not the titles, not the money, not the recognition, not the studies, not the professions or definitions that others can give onto us – but the words we decide to live in full self-awareness. Just as the point we hear a lot about in Desteni on ‘stopping the mind,’ it doesn’t mean: forget about who you were and be ‘living in the here now moment’ absolutely oblivious of everything, as if one could simply ‘turn the page’ and have a blank one without any consequence. So if anything, this film depicts the consequences of not being able to cope with our mind, our memories, an entire life of wanting to ‘cherish all memories’ and the outcome when you realize the fiction you’ve become as a character and eventually just want to throw the character out of the window and remain as the flesh and bones we are… that’s what creates the consequence as a forced de-egofication process.

I am able to relate to the idea of wanting to cherish every moment as the ‘old me’ that was on my way to do that all the time, and having that mentality of wanting to be a writer someday that could use those memories to create more fictional characters through which I could live through as well, and I’m glad I stopped myself, which to myself as my ego it was the same as some form of egocide, because stopping ‘cherishing memories’ – even with the compulsion I had to be taking pictures all the time – I was on my way to fill memory cards and entire notebooks of my own personalities with no direction – which is also the type of writing I was doing before this process, using art as just another way to convolute the perception of who we are as human beings: point-less, self-referenced, self-interested beings seeking this something to ‘fill in the void’ with and ending up in some kind of nonsense with a life wasted in this perpetual ‘search’ which I now see that we all as human beings have, nothing else but the gloom created as the result of separating ourselves from who we really are as life, as the substance that unites us all as one and equal.

 

Today we discussed about this existential anguish in relation to ‘losing all hope to humanity’ not realizing that I was maybe on my way to creating yet another ‘disorder’ to simply evade facing reality – which we all do one way or another by creating any form of emotion or feeling to make the whole thing turn into a ‘me-myself-I’ experience rather than taking responsibility for the problems we create in our lives and this world and turn it only into a ‘concern’ – and how if I hadn’t discovered Desteni and the ability to Self-Forgive, I would have probably continued down the spiraling road of using art as a way to express this absolute ‘lostness’ that I experienced for great part of my life up to 6 years ago when everything started making sense.

 

All I can say is that it is quite a relief to no longer be drilling my mind with the usual existential-queries and ‘enigmas’ that used to also occupy my-time here, thinking about time, and death, and memories, and identity, and fictional characters, and this life as a dream and so forth… all of which has existed as part of our philosophy with no concrete realization to simply see the direct reality of it all: we have used our mind to divert our attention from reality, from the actual consequences and physical existence that we tend to cloud or ‘paint with other colors’ through thinking about reality, through ‘feeling’ or ‘becoming emotional’ about it and pondering these energetic flicks as ‘more’ than what life really is.

 

After the film ended, Alan Berliner had a Q&A session with the audience, and he ended up saying that ‘Memories are the glue to life’ and I couldn’t disagree more as this mentality is what has kept us since the beginning of our existence as human beings tied to a past that we then ‘choose to forget’ proving that we haven’t moved an iota from the very initial problems we were programmed with, just because we have accepted our mind to be ‘who we really are,’ forgetting or not even being aware of what Life really is, which is not and will never be knowledge and information, and memories. Just like in all our devices – memories are nothing but part of the system that enables us to function as clusters of space and time in a disk drive that sometimes gets full and overloaded and requires some ‘rebooting’ because there’s just ‘too much to info to handle,’ and that’s also what Alzheimer seems like.

 

Memories cannot be the ‘glue of life’ as they are only invisible bits of information we believe is who we are. Life doesn’t require a glue, life is not divided, life is all that is already here that we have separated ourselves from in every moment that we define ourselves as a picture, as an emotion, a thought, a feeling, a memory, all of it part of the masks that we craft and can end up driving us crazy if we continue to overlook the reality and simplicity of who we are here as breathing flesh and bones physical beings that have to now use our memory practically and constructively, to go self-forgiving each thought, word and deed that we’ve acted upon and created in order to ‘forget about who we are’ and as such, not take responsibility for who we are and have become. Look at this world, read the news, talk with people on the streets, look within yourself in your mind and see how this world is our reflection.

 

Learning how to Self-Forgive is the greatest gift one can give to oneself if one does not want to end up driving oneself absolutely insane, or mentally kaput for not having the courage to stand in the face of ourselves, of our past no matter how ‘bad it may seem or how ‘overwhelming’ the consequences of it already are, there is no other way but to stand up for it and face it. Self-Honesty takes Courage and that’s something one has to develop in order to not end up mentally ill due to wanting to forget. My suggestion is to then do this: learn how to Self-Forgive, Remember to Self-Forgive instead of compounding the inner turmoil and the cowardice to recognize who we are and have become, not only as individuals, but as humanity – and so, whenever we see ourselves feeling guilty, ashamed, embarrassed, overwhelmed by our past, our memories, our mind, it is that moment where instead of remaining in the victimization of the experience: we stand up, take a deep breath and decide to self-forgive the experience, the memory, the thought, the deeds and correct ourselves in the moment in the realization that no one did this to us but ourselves, and no one will ‘forgive us’ as there is no God, but ourselves, our own creators.

 

The one last mercy we can give to ourselves is Self Forgiveness, let’s use it and become physical living breathing beings that can stop pondering too much about what life, death, a thought or memories are and rather learn how to live in every moment of breath directing our lives to be and become an example of what we all know we can be when correcting all the mess of the past to stand as self-directive and self-honest individuals, always considering what is best for self and all as equals: no memory required but only as a remembrance of a past to never repeat again.

 

To learn more about Desteni’s perspective on Alzheimer and Memories:

 

To stop being defined only as a memory chip of emotions and feelings:

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369. Desteni: An Insider’s Report

Preamble

My name is Marlen Vargas Del Razo and I’m here to disclose the actual and proven truth about what many can call the greatest Cult and Scam that has existed in the history of the internet according to various sources that, just as any other biased piece of journalism, lack any real practical self-investigation to come up with a veritable result that could be identified as a genuine piece of scientific evidence and an integral attestable piece of information that could provide people with a clear and verifiable perspective of what this infamous group is all about.

Unlike many that may research about ‘Desteni’ and immediately click on the most controversial links that may pop up in the 352,000 results (0.22 seconds) Google search, I suggest you rather take my name written above and run a simple search with it + the word Desteni to see some of the words written and spoken, as well as the various images that have been produced since 2008 as a result of my direct participation in this group, which is an internet based community dedicated to a singular and certainly sui generis cause which is to Educate the Human Being about the reality we have only lived behind the veils of our consciousness/the mind, our so called education, culture, languages, political and economic systems and all the images that have dictated who we are, what we do, why we do it and within this, basing our lives upon lies that we have made real as the current world-reality that we are all experiencing as an every day hell – unless one has sufficient money to protect ourselves from the actual reality that the majority is living in.

I will be sharing the details of what is now a 5 year Journey I’ve walked along with many other people around the world – including the year I lived at the Desteni Farm in South Africa (2009-2010) – that have committed ourselves to the same living principle that we find is the correct thing to do in a world like ours today: to create and establish solutions to live in a way that is best for all as equals. I have written over 1000 posts available in this website as a direct result of my process of self investigation, this is without counting all the other hundreds walked in the individual and specialized process of Self Support: the Desteni I Process, as well as the thousands of posts at the Desteni Forum and individual vlogs in two accounts on YouTube (MarlenVargasDelRazo and MarlenLife) wherein I have documented my individual process from self-investigation at an individual level to the publication and exposure of world-system solutions that are intricately related to the process of self investigation, self education and interaction with people in my reality in order to generate a change that is created at an individual basis and shared with the world; all of this is published a result of the certainty that I have acquired when it comes to proving over time that this process of Self Honesty and Self Responsibility is in fact the key to create a change in this world that will be the foundation to establish a new world order based on Life in Equality.

 

 

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I was born in Puebla, México on September 1st, 1986 came out of the womb with a c-section due to having the umbilical cord around my neck which I blamed for a constant nagging sensation I had throughout my life as a constant emotional experience of suffering, fear, anxiety, uncertainty and definitively seeing the world as a danger rather than a genuine place to be able to live in. Till this day I am 26 years old and I became involved with the Desteni group when I was 21, and the day that changed my life forever was January 30th, 2008 when I watched the first Desteni video, yes one of those where Sunette Spies (Interdimensional Portal/ blond girl giving deep breaths at the beginning and end of the less than 10 minute YouTube videos) would have one of the hundreds of beings interviewed in to give some revealing message. In my particular case, it reminded me of all the other spiritualist-channelings and mediums I had witnessed throughout my life, it wasn’t ‘anything new’ apparently – yet the message that I heard in that 10 minute video was sufficient for me to leave the various books on spirituality, religions, esoteric agendas and any other philosophy to continue devouring the videos as I continued watching them one by one throughout the course of months until I had assured I had watched them all to get an actual understanding of what this whole ‘portalling’ was all about.

 

At that moment I was interested in obtaining some higher truth, some ultimate truth, some ultimate answer to all the questions I had accumulated throughout a lifetime of finding ‘no point’ in living in this world if all there exists is suffering, violence, wars, lies, corruption, deceptive governments, false relationships where we harm each other, hatred, self loathing and the list goes on and on… Therefore, the approach toward these videos that seemed to be ‘out of this world’ was to get a quick fix, a solution, seeking to find the recipe that contained all the necessary steps I had to follow to just ‘get it done’ and be somewhat healed, enlightened, all knowing, have the answers to the meaning of life in one go and get over my existential inquiries that had lead me to wait, hope and expect something grandiose knocking at my door to stop for once and for all seeking some kind of answer from a creator as to what I had to do with my life, or how to implement some kind of ‘divine plan’ on Earth –lol, little did I know that we were already living ‘his plan’ but that this god wasn’t precisely benevolent as we had been taught to believe.

 

Of course as many other human beings filled with fears and expectations on ‘things getting better somehow’ or having some alien/god/master/being from the universe coming here and saving us,  I only desired to create some kind of unity in this world while getting myself some kind of special connection with a creator, a god, an energy or whatever that could tell me that ‘my life had a meaning and a purpose’ so I could stop seeing the suffering that I could not make sense of. ‘God must have a reason for all of this to exist’ and that god/ energy/ all knowing one idea started slowly but surely fading away as I continued the research through the Desteni material and finding out that everything I had ever known, everything I had believed myself to be – including the persona that I was so eagerly building myself to be – was just another character that we have all created based on who we are told to be, the family we are brought up in, the amount of money we have, the country and culture we live in, the generations before us that left their genetic dynasty of a troubled self-experience existing in a world where survival defines our ability to live or die everyday, leaving little to no space to investigate the obvious truth in this reality: we are slaves in a preprogrammed reality wherein everything that we see as the current problems we all live in an experience on a daily basis is reflected upon the nature of the world as it is today.

 

Suddenly every single question, enigma, diatribe, existential anguish and any other form of ‘wonder’ about reality, the universe, human beings, the mind, spirituality, life after death, eternal life, god, demons, heaven, hell, the so called ‘end of the world’ were all concepts being explained in detail as the finite constructs they all represent within the greater construct/scheme and aspect of reality that we are aware of in which we’ve all been existing as: Consciousness. Within my limited understanding within that very first impression, my life was not going to get any easier from that moment on simply because of realizing that there was a lot of ‘truth’ in these ‘Desteni videos,’ yet I could not find what it is that I can do to fix it all now, or the opposite: what do they want of me and what is their genuine purpose of publishing this information and Why this was not part of the world news:

1. An Inter-dimensional Portal opened between Earth and the Dimensions in March 2006. This allowed access to Heaven/Dimensions by a human while being fully aware and visa versa allowed beings in Heaven/Dimension full access to Earth. This opened a journey that was not expected or could be imagined. This Portal was placed as the Grace of God.

· The Future of Heaven and Earth and the Universe Mar 19 2007

 

I knew that this was something I had to absolutely research in its totality before diving myself into it fully and completely. I kept myself at a safe distance from the Forum, not even reading it to not influence my own research through only watching the videos and reading the articles, not even knowing if there were people already applying this, which was something they were constantly mentioning to do in the videos. My research wasn’t complete until I had ensured I had read every single article in the Articles section of the website, including the parts that I had deemed as the most repetitive type of brainwashing I had ever read in my life, it was called Self Forgiveness and kept wondering who on Earth could have said that ME, I, the person that stood up for originality, uniqueness, ‘freedom of choice’ and all things ‘independent thinking’ would be suddenly reading the dribble of repetitive sentences that looked more like some serious kind of brainwashing and bizarre programming that I was supposed to write and read in order to get some kind of realization about it.. Initially,  I left the Self Forgiveness part for the very end of my investigation because it was certainly the part that most resembled any form of religious brainwashing – little did I know that I barely understood the word Forgiveness at all.

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First Written Record of the Desteni Investigation , 2008

 

Through reading all the articles, watching the videos on a daily basis for several hours before and after going to school – all of this while studying college in the career of Visual Arts as the Universidad Nacional Autónoma de México –  I realized that this was something that I was going to be dedicating my life to, it was quite an immediate realization that became a certainty the more I watched that ‘I wanted to work with these people, I have to meet them and be part of this’. Of course it wasn’t easy to come to these conclusions since every time that I would Think about it, it all seemed ‘too good to be true’ yet too vast and consistent in every single piece of writing and video that I tried to dissect to find any form of flaw I could point out and boast that it was just another lie, another trick to get something out of us –and yes I still understand why many people try to discredit Desteni right away, because no one on this Earth has ever before come up with such a genuine benevolent message on Earth – besides Jesus – along with a practical solution to essentially establish the best living condition that we as individual human beings can exist as in this world, without expecting something from us in return. I had been taught to always get to know what people’s intentions are and not take just the ‘good stuff’ at face value, but see what form of manipulation is given in order to get the gist of the ‘good deals’ we get in life. I kept watching and every single time, I failed to find an inconsistency in the coherence and narration of evens that even if they were absolutely out of the spectrum of my physical ability to discern whether ‘the portal’ was real or not, the congruence, the convergence of points that I had gotten to read about from various other sources made me realize that this message was precisely the kind of intention I was aiming at living for in my life: a message of unity, of peace, of genuine care for one another  – yet the word ‘life’ was still as death as I was due to having little to no reference to what ‘life in equality’ actually meant – yet every single article and video was aimed at placing the necessary blueprint for us to test out for ourselves, correlate, self investigate what was being explained in the material. Obviously this was then gaining its place of being rather unique and never before seen in our world, because here all the answers, the solutions to our lives, this world and reality were being given by this girl on YouTube with little to no further information than visiting a forum that I mostly avoided reading through to not deviate myself from simply watching the videos and reading the articles on the website.

 

One of the first things that came up was getting rid of ‘God’ and it was far easier than I thought which was through being educated about the creation of the concept – what it meant as the ultimate separation and hierarchical imposition in the minds of all humans in order to establish a world order that has existed till this day on the basis of masters and slaves – therefore it became a matter of understanding the construct itself. I certainly then knew that the meaning of my ‘journey to find god’ had rather turned into a journey to understand and get to know myself, the reality that I live in and how I was in fact a direct responsible actor for every single atrocity I had only managed to complain, get angry and blame others for in this world. I was about to get myself into a cul-de-sac called Self Honesty wherein the only way out was to actually apply these steps that were repeatedly mentioned video after video, article after article: write yourself to freedom, applying self forgiveness, develop self honesty, apply common sense, oneness and equality, stand up for life in Equality. For sure at the beginning it seemed liked a cool thing to be able to get dead people talking through this girl, but why were they all saying the same message and how come no one else in the world was talking about this? To me it was the greatest revelation to such an extent that I was ready to let go of my intensive research in all things spirituality, philosophy, my personal cult to the belief of who I am as part of this culture, the role I thought I had as ‘an artist’ in this world and essentially place my whole life on a scale to measure what it is that I in fact was and who I would be without this construction of myself as ‘Marlen’ as the persona formed by the environment I lived in plus everything else that I managed to adhere through my quest to become that special being that we all believe ourselves to be.

 

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But, why is it that I was into it from the first moment I watched it? Easy: words made sense, everything that was explained I could relate to. It was as if the hidden side of reality that we have all been ‘aware’ of at some level was finally placed into words, but oh dear god how uncanny it is to get to these ultimate truths in a mundane YouTube less-than-10-minute video, isn’t it? However, the more I watched the more I didn’t consider people being able to reject what was being said, yet only later on I realized the power of fear and the ability to dynamite any potential veil-breaking information that has the potential – if applied and lived individually – to de-enslave/ liberate an individual from the most profound forms of brainwashing that you and I have ever been remotely aware of. Our history of human development has come and gone and none of it in any way supported us to become better living species – it was true: knowledge without application was useless and as I continued consuming hours and hours of watching the Desteni videos, scribbling some ‘facts’ here and there, drawing while listening to a consistent message that made me ‘lose my mind’ and go into a 3 day breakdown where I began saying that ‘life doesn’t make any sense, oh my god who am I without my emotions, art is filled with emotions! and I am an emotional person! Everything I’ve done and been has been but a lie!’ and within this going into the fear that ‘these people must want to brainwash us for some ulterior purpose’ – and yes, oh was it true, that ulterior purpose is to step out of the preprogrammed mind design wherein I was on my straight way to hell and ready to become some kind of entheogen seeker of the divine and somehow save the world from an impending doom that I used to preach in order to justify why I didn’t want to live my life in the most responsible way…

 

If there’s any warning I can give to anyone stumbling upon Desteni is taking it easy to watch the material, obviously now there are thousands upon thousands of blogs, videos, articles, books, audio interviews recorded throughout these past 7 years that Desteni has been ‘live’ on the Internet. The whole world has been stripped from head to toe for us to finally understand who we are, what we are here for, what was our purpose on Earth, what is this world, why aren’t we happy, why do we seek god, why are we driving ourselves to our impending doom and a plethora of more questions and ponderings that we have consumed our lives with, going generation after generation filling books with what we believe ‘we know’ without having an inkling of idea about what the mind in itself is – of which I was quite an active participant of – and why is it that we seem to be devolving with all these wars, lies, corruption, discrimination, suffering, harm, hate-all of which I had noticed throughout my life had become a constant part of reality; no one could have ever seem to have an answer to this, not even the Jesuits at the school I studied which is the Instituto Oriente wherein I rather reinforced my heretic character and only liked and agreed with the one principle that made sense besides everything else they claimed Jesus said and did: equality and considering each other as living beings regardless of the amount of money we have, the last name we have, the amount of properties we have and so on, yet we were being trained to be part of the elite in society that would ‘ensure’ that we were ‘benevolent masters/ leaders’ to our employees/slaves. Of course no one could ever answer to me why was the Vatican the richest country in the world, why the pope would not give away his fortune in the name of ending the world hunger if he so would pray and hope god or some world leader could end it … and these are just but the ‘tip of the iceberg’ questions that lead me to confirm  that whatever speck of religious inclination I could have wanted to resort to in order to make sense of this world, was simply another mirage in my quest to find that ‘something’ in my life I had been longing for – apparently.

 

The truth is that I only wanted to have some ‘great place’ in this reality where I could be special and within that ‘make all my dreams come true’ which were as mundane as being famous, having some fortune, finding love in some kind of partnership/relationships, escape the corrupted country I live in and essentially live in a blissful state while pretending to worry about the ills of the world… This was the ‘me’ that I have to now be typing out for the purpose of this Desteni Witness Report, placing myself in the shoes of the discouraged person that I became when realizing that this world wasn’t getting any better, that everyone was lying, cheating and being corrupted and that all that I could do is… feel sorry about it, be depressed, be doomed and living in a constant gloom and cry about the many horrors that I had witnessed on daily basis here and no, it wasn’t war, it was worse because it’s become an ‘accepted’ form of crime against life: poverty, discrimination, inequality, greed and any other form of egotistical traits that I could see were doing harm and were a form of actual self-abuse.

So what on Earth did I come to realize about all of this and the ‘Me’ that I existed as up to the moment when I found Desteni?

Find out in the next entry…

Thanks for reading

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What you are in your mind does not prevail – wake up!-  2008


298. Accumulating Consequence through Capital Accumulation

Continuing with:

Redefining Capitalism:

We’re going word by word in a very basic definition of Capitalism to redefine it, explore it and see what each word means and how we are able to re-direct every aspect of this collective agreement into a Best for All system.

Capitalism is an economic system that is based on private ownership of capital goods and the means of production, and the creation of goods and services for profit.[1][2] Elements central to capitalism include capital accumulation,competitive markets, and a price system.[3]

source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Capitalism

 

 

capital accumulation

The accumulation of capital is the gathering or amassing of objects of value; the increase in wealth through concentration; or the creation of wealth. Capital is money or a financial asset invested for the purpose of making more money (whether in the form of profit, rent, interest, royalties, capital gain or some other kind of return.)This activity forms the basis of the economic system of capitalism, where economic activity is structured around the accumulation of capital (investment in order to realize a financial profit).

Human capital may also be seen as a form of capital: investment in one’s personal abilities, such as through education, to improve their function and therefore increase their income potential in a market economy.

 

Along with the ability to Profit comes the ability to concentrate such wealth and reproduce it, wherein the mere ownership of capital goods, means of production or capital in itself – sheer money – allows you to grow your already existent wealth, just because You Own it. This is how the Delusion of Ownership is quite the key problem here, since power will seek to expand itself and because we currently have the necessary policies to do so legally and have made it acceptable, our world that is life in itself, has been turned into a mere commodity that is diminished to a series of numbers that enable some people to have a ‘great life’ at the expense of a majority that lives like a slave, producing/working and doing that which others – the ones with all the money -will sell and benefit from, who also happen to set the rules of the game and the prices in a convenient manner.

 

I remember growing up in this country which I thought to be the most corrupt one in the world and would get pissed off at a very early age about how no one seemed to care to do things properly, to follow the rules, to be a good citizen – it all boiled down to us having corrupted governors and as such we would allow each other such corruption within ourselves, in our day to day living and believing that only if we cheat, we succeed, which is a well known saying as well.

 

We had discussed in the entry 295. Human Desire: Profitable Drive for Slavery how we have based our entire system in a series of predictable drives such as human’s desire to be fulfilled, satisfied, comforted, have a ‘good feeling’ which i s what is programmed at the tender age of 0-7 years of age and what we get, is certainly an ensured society that is reduced to a target-market by those that have the necessary means to produce a need, promote/advertise the solution/ the remedy and as such, ensure a life-long clientele that will be driven by the need to have these ‘good feeling’ experiences linked to sounds, pictures, words, symbols that affect who we are as the relationships we establish with our world and become our driving-factors without them even being aware of it at a conscious level. This is what we have accepted and allowed as mind control.

 

When we look at the accumulation of wealth it is precisely this mechanism that enables the world of the riches go round, because their wealth is made out of all the times that we didn’t distribute profit equally. Then, life is made a  ‘struggle’ and something you have to ‘fight for’ while forgetting that what we are consuming and backing our money with  is of the Earth’s resources and Human Work and no one should have a legitimate right to Own it to further a means to create More money to enslave other fellow living beings.  The solutions to stop Profiting were placed in the previous entry 296. Profit in Equal Money Capitalism. What we have to focus now is precisely tackling the delirium that we’ve created within this ability to profit, which is accumulating money/capital called wealth and made the ‘ultimate goal’ equated to the sense of happiness and fulfillment, all of it a lie, of course, because the Lie in itself has been the belief that we become ‘More’ if we generate more money and linking ‘the Kingdom of God’ to material possessions.

 

This is where the actual Self-Correction takes place. As we have explained many times, we can set the rules, the most perfect viable solution to ensure that No accumulation of wealth takes place, that no unjust and abusive profiting takes place and that all resources are distributed in an equal manner – but, if the individual does not realize the effect of a single acceptance of ‘wealth’ as a point of being able to earn more than others At their expense – which means: not sharing with them what corresponds to them as  part of their profit-share – and see what such allowance of a Desire to be More creates at a global level, we will have to go through a point of loss in order to realize how money in itself is not ‘the power’ but the resources that back it up, the people that work the land and that make the system functional – and this implies that any form of gold or any believed standard is irrelevant when economy should have always been about managing the Earth’s resources, the retribution of work to all human beings and Not creating rules and regulations to cover up/ manage and create policies that care after people’s amount of fictional wealth. 

 

This also means that people with the most money are dependent on their money and as such they are not really free and this should be grasped to understand that we have all enslaved each other no matter what type of advantage is currently perceived, because even if someone has the ability to make money out of the money that is already available to them according to their context – family/heritage, nation-  what such human beings are taught to do is to reproduce their wealth, to continue accumulating in order to remain in ‘power,’ which is the ability to make decisions and rules that will not benefit the ‘greater good’ but a small sector that act in a very cunning way, using all means that are programmable to the human mind for the majority to accept the fact that ‘there will always be someone above us’ and as such, imprinting the necessary fear to Never challenge this accumulation of wealth and the deceptive/ abusive means to generate it.

 

This taps into one single aspect that has been ingrained as part of our Consciousness: the human purpose to ‘conquer the world’ and have a meaning beyond what we already are, wanting to make Life More than what it is, all because of accepting and allowing ourselves to be defined by our material possessions and the energetic experiences that we’ve linked to that which we buy with money as something that makes us Happy and Secure and Fulfilled, just like we felt in our mother’s womb. The problem is when we’ve attempted to recreate it without really caring who one has to ‘step over’ just to get things working our way, but this way has been made a reliable program that makes the same system of inequality function in a ‘legal manner.’ It’s interesting that we seek change to come from the outside, without realizing how it’s been ourselves as individuals striving for specialness, power and wealth that re-create the system we complain about, which is in essence a collective agreement to lie, deceive and cheat to get ahead in the game, and this is ‘how things work’ without anyone complaining. This prevents any form of real growth within our human civilization, any real education because all education will be veered o maintain the same status quo and this is what is leading us to the brink of our own self-destruction, since such ‘power’ is only founded upon abuse by these flawed mechanism to accumulate Wealth without any form of integrity to ponder how we can manage to have all of this ‘well being’ for a few and allowing others to still starve, have no toilets, running water, education or health care.

 

Thus, our responsibility is Collective: we cannot blame only ‘those’ that are able to accumulate capital as a means to engross their wealth, but we have all collective agreed on such mechanisms and continue doing so without any further question. This is what We must change: not through protests, not through further compliance but developing and proposing a new way to do politics:

Equal Money Capitalism

 

to be continued…

The Solution: Equal Growth for Every One

Equal Growth -Steady Economy - Equal Money

 

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264. All I Want to do is Feel Good

 

It’s quite easy to justify our desire to feel good, to escape, to say it is our free will and free choice to live our lives to ‘the fullest’ and call that a ‘living right to live life the way we want to’ and one should respect that, because we are not harming anyone doing so.

 

Continuing from:

220. Drug Culture: Mad Society as a Lifestyle

I used to live by these words ‘Live your life and leave me alone with mine’ and I must say it is like having to get down from a ride you are apparently really enjoying, just as we enjoy feeding our feel good experiences at all times in the mind – and within this, it is not that enjoyment is wrong or bad or we should not have a moment of fun, it is what we end up  Only focusing on when having our lives only being ridden through a desire to Just feel good all the time, to have a good time, to have fun, to entertain ourselves, to seek for new and exciting experiences. As anything, excesses or an entire life lifetime only focused on a hedonist lifestyle will certainly lead us to a certain place: death – one could say we will all ‘get there’ but the point is how we are willing to be aware and deliberate of our ‘choices in life’ to live as an hedonist being and decide to ignore reality and our ability to actually do something about it.  

The people that have crossed over can share nothing else but sheer regret for having lived lives hooked up in mind-desires and problems and ‘seekings’ that lead nowhere other than being caught up in the chasing after chasing energetic experiences of ‘fulfillment,’ but never really living.

The desire to feel good/ feel fine and the use of drugs is a common pair that can be justified in various ways, making an ‘honor’ to people in this world that recognize themselves as ‘villains’ and never ever having wanted to be the ‘good guys,’ not realizing either that this physical world and reality is not about taking a ‘side’ and painting oneself either black or white,  is not about being good or bad and feeding each other’s poles of antagonism/ protagonist we have divided our lives in, with obsolete morals that only fuel the separation as the believed sense of freedom derived from ‘doing what one likes/pleases to do,’ wherein there is no actual  inherent desire to  stand as an example of what a living-breathing human being can be, or make things better for oneself and everyone else, but simply deciding Not to live in order to create any form of change in this world – however, what I have found is that people that get to think this way are a consequence of not having been supported unconditionally to prevent them/ourselves from becoming a spitefulness act upon the Earth, and this does not necessarily harming others, but definitely being aware of neglecting reality by one’s will and fulfillment of a sense of contempt toward a world that ‘has never given a damn about you.’

 

Even if people can claim this is not the starting point for seeking such feel good experience, it is well known at Desteni how all positive experiences have a negative starting point: a constant ‘feel good’ experience actually stems from the constant self experience of living in fear, petrification, anxiety, remorse, guilt, mind trips and everything else we have defined as ‘bad/negative,’ leading ourselves to go into a quest to become the exact opposite, never quite understanding how we have lead ourselves to such a point of ‘carelessness’ and whose life we are really disregarding this way.


This is about understanding what one can also justify at all times with various excuses like deciding to simply live a life of enjoyment, having fun, having a good time, getting in touch with one’s most beloved habits, there is no ‘pursuing’ other than the energetic experience and visualization of one’s mind as something ‘better’ than reality, and then we dare to defend that as a living right, yes, a right to abuse ourselves even if the abuse is not seen at first sight: this is the real ignorance, what goes on beyond what our eyes can see is the reality that we have never ever been aware of, a reality we are trying to evade but also use as an excuse to defend ‘our right to abuse’

“Respect my Culture.
Respect my
Choices.
Respect my Faith.
Respect my Rights as a Parent.
Respect my Opinion.
Respect my Diversity.
Respect my Right of
Free Choice.
Respect my
Sexual Orientation.
All these Forms of Respect would Immediately be Gone once the Person Understand, in Detail, HOW they Create this through the Mechanics of the Mind and
See that All of these Forms of Respect are In Fact Illusions.” – Bernard Poolman *

 

Ask yourself: is this ALL that I want for myself? Have I really made the choice to only live this way? I am pretty sure that anyone defending their point will say ‘yes,’ however as one can realize, all our decisions are influenced by our ‘role in the game’ that we have called life, and I am pretty sure that at this stage from the poorest person to the richest one seeks a form to escape and evade reality in one way or another, and this is why we go back to the main point as always: we seek to evade ourselves, our mind, our past, our entire set of rotten corpses that we have believed we can only hide and run away from through using/ consuming/ buying/ chasing/ experiencing ‘something’ that can give us a different sensation in life – a sensation= a mind experience, and to understand all the choices we’re making in the name of ‘sensation’ is to understand all the motives and reasons we used to justify having lived our lives subsumed in self interest, seeking always/ all the time for the most benefit, the most enjoyment, never a dull moment when living in this constant tripping-mode as a regular drug user does.

I got to see this aspect of ourselves as human beings again, a forgotten one since it is not that easy to find people that are living relatively well, socializing, being overtly expressive yet openly willing to take drugs in order to get these experiences that become a life-style, a seeking for a ‘something,’ or at least I had forgotten what it was to be in that positive-light of mentality and optimism that would cover up quite a great despair that I could only open up after one stops draining one’s experience with any form of mind-drug, habit, addiction or definitive self-talk to believe that ‘there is nothing to worry about, everything is just fine’ and yes, that Bob Marley song comes to mind as it got stuck on sixth grade when I had to learn the lyrics to ‘three little birds’ and I felt quite dumb having to sing along to ‘Singin’: “Don’t worry about a thing, ‘Cause every little thing gonna be all right!” – then got to know Marley as this music god for all weed users and developed a hatred to be honest, due to all the ‘relax and just chill’ type of mentality, it pissed me off, because I actually wanted to live that life, live in a little place outside the city, being happy painting and forgetting about the troubles and being careless about reality, how wonderful! I got a taste of that for a while, it didn’t ease the distress, it only aggravated it- why? Because drugs and anything else we induce ourselves in in order to ‘forget all our troubles and cares’ becomes a suppression, a point that we then have to face no matter what since it means we have decided to deliberately ignore such ‘bad experience’ as our own creation.

So , what I have found is that even if ‘enjoying the ride of life’ becomes an enticing point, I have just proven to myself it is Impossible I could turn my back on life and go back to my ‘old ways,’ fracking hell no. I realized that the commitment we have to live is an ‘abnormal one’ in a society wherein we are all patting our backs for being the greatest cheaters, liars, addicts and careless pieces of mind that can exist. I decided to not be that, even if I could have had all of the opportunities to do so, to become quite a great player in the realms of the ‘intangible’ and be ‘successful’ within such mind-frame, but the lie eventually gets to be too extensive to handle, the lie catches you on fire and  you either burn to ashes to reborn or allow yourself to keep fueling the fire with more airy-fairy ideas that lead you to believe that ‘feeling good’ is all that life is about – limited, very limited, but ostensibly attractive.

Is it too extreme to vow oneself to life the way that we have committed ourselves to as Destonians? No, it is really only having to live in a world of temptation and tame the forces that we have allowed ourselves to be driven by throughout our ‘lives lived’ through the mind. It is to swim against the tide – without opposing/ neglecting or antagonizing – of everything and everyone that points us out to one single thing: just relax, sit back and just chill, do not care about the ‘bad stuff’ and misery, give some charity here and there, try and make poor people’s lives a bit happy for a while, share some of your time with the unfortunate ones and the rest of the time, just ‘enjoy.’


Enjoyment cannot exist as a continues consumption of either drugs or food or sex or any other part of ourselves in our reality that we turn into ‘our new toy’  that we have linked to a ‘max’ experience within ourselves, it is unsustainable. We can only look at our ‘entertainment industries’ to understand what we are deciding to be and become: chill pill consumers in order to just ‘live our lives and never mind the rest.’ Yes, in a tunnel vision reality that makes sense, but soon reality will ‘catch up with us’ and we will most likely have to step down from the fairy-tale mountain with some rough awakenings – is this necessary? We could prevent it, but at this stage the question remains:

“What will it Take to Wake Up People from their Obsession with Respect that Do Not Place Life in Every Way, for Everyone, Always, First?” – Bernard Poolman

 

The problem is how we have definitely blinded ourselves to make it all fine in our minds – money is the primary security that enables us to have fun, to have all we want as an ‘extra’ point of enjoyment and as such, justify such ‘lifestyle’ with working, with retribution somehow to society, not realizing or fully comprehending why it is that every single act and life that is existing here is our equal and one responsibility, because all patterns that lead to the acceptance and allowance of disparity have been blindly accepted from generation to generation. It’s about time we give to each other what we have always wanted to live by, but never thought we could.

 

As for drugs, how can any mind-induced experience become the ‘savior’ to our experiences if it is the very physical body that is being consumed everything we ‘think’ we are ‘making it.’

 

This is about time to be willing to see how unsustainable it is to chase after our implanted dreams or actually be and become the living-dedication of ourselves to LIVE a life of actual enjoyment, which I have defined as a breathing-physically here point of awareness with regards to comfort-ability, and knowing that any justification for ‘how things are’ and believe there was something about us that was unable to be changed – well, it’s time to drive ourselves as consciousness down the road of self-introspection, self investigation leading toward self forgiveness, writing, developing self honesty and common sense to have a perspective of what is real and sound in our reality and who is not.

 

This will continue

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© 2013

257. A Piece of Heaven at the Expense of Life

Why do people turn to drugs? There is a definitive reason that cause all the dimensions that play a role  in our current Drug Culture as either cause/effect,  but a common thing is definitely the root and cause of WHY people turn to drugs. We all know the usual things, for example: to escape from oneself, to hide, to run away from the mind, to stop the abhorrent self-experience, to avoid taking responsibility for one’s life and relationships, self-loathing, etc. – but, have we asked why do we have these problems? One can say: family problems, relationship problems, issues with one’s ‘flawed self,’ physical issues, lack of self esteem, heritage, cultural trends, traditions, religions, survivalism in clans/ mafias/ brotherhoods, spiritual beliefs, shamanism, environmental contingencies, availability of narcotics due to associations/ alliances, legal drugs due to psychological conditions, and the list may go on – However, behind all of this one must see one common thing: human conditions that have lead to all of these problems/ issues/ separations and sectarianism that stems from a basic problem in our society: a lack of support for all living beings to have a dignified living that creates a proper environmental condition where All beings would be able to live without having to worry about not making it through the next day, not having to tolerate the injustice and abuse that is accepted and allowed within a system that only caters for some– that’s it. 

 

And that’s what we know in common sense and what can also be watched in all the various documentaries* about drugs that are affecting our societies wherein there is simply an absolute boredom, menial jobs for the working class – or no job opportunities at all – and a general dissociation from wanting to have anything to do with a ‘shitty world/ shitty system that doesn’t give a fuck about life!’ hence turning to have an alternate reality where ‘everything is fine, a heaven in one’s mind for a moment, a harmful  momentary high that turns into a lethal habit that leads to a living condition that is mostly deplorable in most of the cases, as well as leading to any other ‘sudden deaths’ out of the usual ODs and other negligence  that stems from lacking any form of precaution when ingesting/ inhaling/injecting/smoking a drug. It is even common to have people that do this on a regular basis become ‘icons’ in our society, our ‘role models’ which can already point out what type of ‘human quality’ we’ve become fanatics of.

 

It is also interesting how drug-culture became mainstream to a point now wherein one can watch a “music video” and there’s people smoking weed, one can watch a movie and get all the specifics on how people shoot themselves heroin and even all the withdrawal processes in a explicit manner, like in Trainspotting which is probably one of the most popular and obliged reference about drugs for many people that even learned how to do drugs through watching the movie.  I will tell more about that in following posts.

 

The reason why this is an important topic is because drugs as any other form of escapism, represents the aspect we hold on to the most, as it is a self-created intricate relationship we form with only Experience as an Energetic physical experience induced by chemicals in the physical body – the reason why I find it so important to expose is because it’s ubiquitous nowadays for people to be aware of all types of drugs and ways to get high or even self-harm to get a moment of absolute adrenaline –rush/drug of the mind . That’s becoming a children’s game  and I’m referring to what I became aware of today as the salt and ice challenge – I mean, this is how kids age 10 or even less can get used to having a way to get this absolute pain and fear that are the most ‘powerful’ self-experiences created at a mind level when inducing pain along with the ‘challenge’ aspect – where kids will mostly broadcast themselves doing so to ‘prove’ to others they are able to ‘handle it,’ and what mostly happens is kids then will turn to seek for more ‘intense experiences’ like that. Even our words and vocabulary is pointing out blatantly what it is that we are inducing within ourselves: that was Intense! all energy based, and if you’ve been reading these series, you would be aware by now of how energy operates within the physical body through consciousness as a system that we believe is ‘who we really are,’ which is comprised of all our thoughts, emotions and feelings that we whole-heartedly have believed is ‘what living is for’ and if not.

 

This Grave mistake of identifying ourselves with all the drama, excitement and high-intensity of any self-experience is what is mostly leading us to an actual death wherein we disregard actual life/living just for a ‘little piece of heaven.’

And this is what’s leading humanity to a certain end if a single pattern of addiction continues without any definitive decision to STOP.

 

Please read the series to catch up to this point:

220. Drug Culture: Mad Society as a Lifestyle

 

 

I had made a pause in these series due to the impending ‘doomsday’ that I decided to write about due to my inherent responsibility in having participated pretty much in that type of doom-mentality or gloomy-self-experience as we’ve called it – and what is left is pretty much ourselves, having to face what we have become and as such, take the wheel of our reality in all levels, in all ways and have a look at how we’ve become what we’ve become, which is also another form of escapism through the mind to evade the responsibility we all have here.

 

Drug Culture is quite a common topic virtually everywhere in the world, no matter if it’s a high-energy-hyped society like many places in Europe and America or a third world/ poor country in Africa, or under developed regions like South America – everyone’s got the same ‘epidemic’ which is drugs which includes alcoholism as main problems that maim  the ability for any being to realize and take self responsibility, because drugs imply one single point: a giving up experience that is now turned into an addiction, a need, a fascination and obsession wherein people are literally willing to give all their money, all their life just for one single initial ‘rush’ that any drug can give them. While observing this, it is impossible to not create a parallel to what we understand now of how the mind works, wherein we create our own fixations in order to fuel and satisfy this idea of ourselves that we’ve simply copied, absorbed and ‘become/ embodied’ without a question, and that includes addictive patterns of seeking this ‘greatness’ as an energetic experience that is able to be obtained with drugs, pretty much flushing your entire life down the toilette for a single self belief of you being ‘perfectly fine/ in control / able to quit any time and all of the people that have been severely enrolled in hardcore addictions mostly find it very hard if not impossible to actually live out that belief of being able to stop and quit at any time.

 

That is One single dimension of the addiction: the energetic experience that we are familiar with the moment we accept emotions and feelings as ‘who we are’ and what drugs do is an overall enhancement of this relationship within the ‘who we are’ as the mind, which implies that we are completely hooked on absolute self abuse, since any energetic experience  – as anything that requires energy – is not ‘for free,’ it is an actual process of consumption of the very physical tissue/ fabric that provides the necessary resources for any drug to function properly – this is why the deterioration of the physical takes place in drug addicts/ consumers – among other various dimensions that involve the living conditions that hard-core long-time addicts end up living in or are born in, which is also another aspect that leads to drugs – all in all: stems from lacking actual living support in all ways to live in a sound and healthy environment where life could be actually honored = hence it is a matter of Collective Responsibility, since we are all responsible for continuing fueling a system that is not providing a sound environment for us to develop our expression to our utmost potential.

 

The purpose of these blogs will be to point out main factors that lead to drug consumption, the reasons behind that and how to support oneself to Prevent drug-addictions, referencing the usual ways in which one picks up this belief of drugs being the ‘greatest thing ever’ as well as gathering enough strength to realize there IS a solution to this world, there IS a way to support ourselves to stop seeking to ESCape from reality and instead, sober up and stand up to support the actual change we all dreamed of, it’s in our hands, so we must clean our act before we can establish ourselves in the actual world we have all wanted to live in, and within this, also paving the way for the children to come and ensure they do have the absolute opportunities  to Live and express themselves, and never again resort to any form of escapism through the mind to manifest a self-abusive ‘heaven’ in the mind.

 

Erroneously – those that Profess to be ‘Souls’, will Claim that the Body of Flesh is a temporary Illusion. And they would base it on the Experience they Generate through Mind Systems, which Follows the Design of the System where: the Search for Meaning and Reason, would Follow through the Combination of Predesigned Platonic Solids as Key Parts to Systems that produce Energy and Visual Input which the Person Align with, So Intensely that they Believe that it is Real, and they Disregard the Simple Reality of a Breath and Food and Bodily Functions that Keeps them Alive.
In this, these ‘Souls’ End-up Acting like Vampires in the Physical Reality, Seeking to Consume everything in their Path for the Self-Interest of the ‘Feeling’ that Produce, according to them, the ‘Experience of Happiness’. The fact that this ‘Happiness’ is Produced at the Cost of the Suffering of Uncountable Living Beings – Simply is Ignored or Seen as ‘Collateral Damage’ of an Illusion that will ‘Suddenly, Magically’ Disappear.”  – Bernard Poolman +

 

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Documentaries/ Videos suggested that present the context of what Drug Culture implies– Viewers discretion suggested: NSFW


254. Beautiful Enslavement and Control

 

Continuing from:

 

The Human Being, being Sensitive to Discord, Disharmony, Disease – are very easily Motivated to Seek Out the Harmony within themselves as the Equilibrium of Multiple Systems, Interacting within Relationship of a Closed System, as a Balanced Perfection for the Sole Purpose of Keeping the being Engaged at All Times; to Seek the Equilibrium and to Keep the Equilibrium going, and where Mastery will be to become a Master of Love, and Stay within the Geometrical Equilibrium.[…]

This Principle has been Very Cleverly used to Keep the Physical Reality in a Form of Stable Control. With None of the Beings in Multiple Forms Realising How their Existence has been Systemized to be Followers of Reaction and Instinct. Followers of Pre-Planned Preprogrammed Designs, with Rewards along the Way when Equilibrium Spots are Hit within the Map of the Book of Life.” Bernard Poolman 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever define myself as a visual vicious wherein all that I was seeking was patterns, numbers, perfection in nature and in the forces that create this world, without being aware how we have been ‘naturally tuned’ to praise the world/ its forces as beauty as perfection without being aware of the actual mechanisms behind it, which had been only me as a mind system seeking for its ‘harmony and equilibrium’ according to the same system of control and preprogrammed designs that we actually believed was ‘who we really are.’

 

This means that I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize how within praising any apparent/ visible order and harmony in nature/ the Earth, I am only praising and seeking for the perfect balance within the configuration/ frameworks and paradigms of a perfect system of enslavement, which ties in with how we perceive people that are obedient to the system of abuse as ‘successful people,’ never questioning such bright success and perceived perfection which only stands according to the laws of the system as consciousness, as preprogrammed equilibriums designed and existent for the purpose of maintaining/ sustaining the control of ourselves within this reality, constantly seeking harmony/ perfection without questioning How such harmony and perfection is practically and physically created, who and what must be sacrificed in order to create such illusion of perfection?

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to see ‘God’ in geometrical shapes and forms and numbers, as all the patterns that seemed ‘perfect,’ never realizing that such patterns were in fact the very blueprints of the enslavement of this system-reality that we have clearly lived in as a form of trap that we always sought to inherently keep ourselves locked into, because we associated this perfect order and control to beauty, power, perfection, evolution, advancements that we believed were in fact our purpose of living here, which proves how perfect the enslavement is: we don’t want to give up the mind, but the mind is the very system that presents the nice perfect picture equilibrium as the standard order, while hiding the mechanisms that lead to such apparent perfection at an interdimensional level, which means that the actual enslavement was Always going to be out of our sight and covered up with all things positive and nice.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek out for various ways that would lead to a perceived equilibrium and harmony within myself and in my external world, without realizing how for such ‘visible harmony’ there must exist systems that are able to manage our current idea and belief of what ‘harmony’ is, which is linked to a positive experience existent as a form of control through the systems that represent this visible arrangement of equilibrium to the eyes of the mind, but that I never questioned what were the actual forces behind it and in this,

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see how that which we seek as equilibrium, beauty, perfection,  order is currently based upon what we exist as the mind and how we currently then only see through the eyes of the mind, wherein the reality of ourselves is not seen/ realized or understood and as such, we have been blindly seeking for ‘the positive’ as  the equilibrium, the harmony’ of perfect systems of control, disregarding any basic understanding of whether such visible/apparent perfection/ beauty/ harmony was in fact what’s best for all life.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create a positive experience when looking at nature, the perfect controlled forces that shape our reality and be astounded by what I could define as beauty in nature, without taking into consideration how it is that what we see/visualize and interpret reality with, which has been created through the quantum mind that transforms the physical reality into knowledge and information as energy that I am in fact reacting to and assessing the ‘who I am’ toward it, just as a predictable outcome of reactions on either a positive or a negative manner as the mind system that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that I have always only reacted to my own mind as my own knowledge and information through which I have seen this reality. Thus, how could I ever be certain of me liking something or enjoying the view of something if all that I’ve seen is my own mind as my own knowledge and information sticking to a perfected pattern of control all the time?  I realize that creating any positive experience about this perceived ‘perfection’ that I have endowed nature with in my mind as a positive experience, is what I am here to correct, and stop participating in,  as I had realized this before. However, when it comes to understanding how reality operates and how energy operates, I can see and realize that we only see the ‘nice façade’ of the tip of the iceberg and we are rarely ever actually aware of the reality of something/ someone, and this is where the deception would be debunked, to finally stop praising images of the mind and instead get ourselves to a point of equality in the physical.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever seek to ‘balance out’ forces of depression, frustration and distress with the opposite forces as enjoyment, conformity and laxity as positive experiences, wherein I believed that being on the ‘positive side’ is now getting myself to a ‘harmony’ wherein harmony is not an actual equal and one stance toward everything/ everyone in this example, but only seeking the moreness/ the positive experience that we’ve come to accept as ‘the normal’ due to how we have accepted and allowed ourselves to deny, neglect and mostly seek to always keep ourselves ‘away’ from all things negative, which implies the perfect form of control, when we have been unaware of how we actually create the positive, the perfect illusion of order and beauty that we have come to value as ‘more’ than ourselves and as such keeping us ‘in line’ within the system of control that presents a luring and enticing presentation to always keep everyone bound to the positive side and avoiding everything that means and represents stepping out of such conformity and status quo that has sustained the perfect enslavement on Earth.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see the actual abuse as all the constant friction and conflict that must exist in order for any energetic experience to be lived as ‘who I am,’ and even dare to exert/ project this experience onto people/ things in separation of myself  through the eye of the mind, as the I of consciousness, not being aware of the actual control and abuse that exists in our so-called visual perfection.

 

Within this – I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that the same mechanisms that create the energy experiences within my body, consuming physicality in order to create an experience that I can either define as either positive or negative within my own assessment of knowledge and information, is equally projected in the outside, wherein all that we have deemed as the ‘greatness’ in our reality  – such as the marvels of the energetic systems and power – is in fact the most atrocious abuse that implies a great devastation of a part of this whole ecosystem that we are burning up in the name of moving faster and dare to call evolution.

 

“It was Obviously Imperative that No Human Ever Gain Access, to the Real Intent – because that would Cause the Eventual Understanding of All the Systems, which will Cause, eventually: the Human to Wake Up, which will Cause, eventually: the Human to Gain the Ability to Set themselves Free from Enslavement. And that would Cause the End of a Mechanical Existence, where All Emotions and Feelings are Produced by Interdimensional Systems, Presented as Feelings and Thoughts – to Keep the Human Entertained and Engaged in a Faith of Purpose and Meaning, which would Never be Anything that is Best for All Life. But, the Human would Not Notice that, because: they’re Existing, continuously, in Fear – Attempting to Complete their Task by Piecing together a System, which will Result in the Experience of ‘Love’ and which they would then See as ‘Light’. This ‘Light’ and ‘Love’ will Shine and become Brighter if they Focus on it, because – then, the Machine/System Produced, would Function and Produce MORE Energy. And the Energy, will Give the Human the Illusion of ‘Power’. A Power they Never want to Give Up, because they believe it’s ‘Them’. They even call it ‘Divinity’.” – Bernard Poolman

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to be marveled by the so called ‘wonders of the world’ wherein the pictures of technological advancements and a ‘better future’ are painted as the perfect peak we can get to as human beings, without realizing that behind all forms of ‘progress’ we can only spot abuse and systems that allow such perfection to be constructed by slaves, by abusing/ burning up the very living-resources of the Earth that we have diminished to the status of ‘fuels’ that are meant to be burnt for our own convenience, which clearly denotes the level of unawareness and self interest we have lived in, wherein we have dared to consume our very own world/ living substance in the name of this feeling of ‘power’ and success and evolution that we have all agreed to create as a positive experience, never realizing at the expense of who and what such marvels were in fact able to be created of.

 

This world works in reverse, and if everything is going ‘just marvelous’ within ourselves, it in fact means that one is at a perfect and balanced enslavement state within a preprogrammed design of perfected control. This is thus how common sense points out that the actual best for all will always lead to discord, distress, disarrangement, dissociation of the current forces that keep the perfect-cage in place. Within this, it is my responsibility to stop following through with ideas of evolution, happiness, harmony, equilibrium and all the ‘beautiful forces of nature’ that are also part of the entire system that is currently only functioning through abuse and exploitation of the physical.

 

Thus, I commit myself to expose the relevance of the Desteni Material as the very key to unlock the actual secrets of reality that are not nice or pretty, and actually entail having to let go of any inkling of belief of what beauty, perfection and stability is according to the current mechanisms in which we understand harmony, which is mostly associated with a Positive energy and as such explain how positive energy is only the reverse/ the other side of the coin of the inherent negative that we have sought to deny, suppress and neglect within ourselves, without realizing that the Key to ourselves is in fact within the ability to stand outside of that perceived perfection, moreness, evolution and superiority as species – stop creating any further abuse and be willing to study how the systems function in order to then be able to re-direct what is already here toward a best for all outcome, which means stopping participating in energetic experiences of the mind, and focus on equalizing the physicality of what is here as a point of support for all living forms in equality, which does not mean perfection in a visual manner, but in a physical perfection as the consideration of the equality in all bodies of existence.

 

 

This means that it is in the best interest of all to stop seeking beauty, harmony, equilibrium and stability as the status quo in which we’ve kept ourselves captive and controlled by our own hand as the accepted and allowed systems of ‘perfected enslavement’ that we have deemed to be positive, of ‘evolution’ and an actual advancement within humanity, us being the ones that create the actual enslavement as a world system which must clearly now be also stopped and corrected by ourselves. 

 

At  Desteni this new Year we’re marking the beginning of the end of this perfected enslavement by exposing the actual human nature that we’ve kept ‘in balance’ and ‘in equilibrium’ within ourselves as the perfect picture presentation of all the positive that we’ve sought to be and become and present toward others, and that we genuinely believed represented ‘who we really are’ as divine creations. This is the lie that will be debunked in the most self-supportive way, as we are currently witnessing the Unveiling of the truth or ourselves as the mind in the most hideous and harmful ways – thus, it is part of our collective responsibility to actually be informed and educated on how to confront the actual Evil as all the reverse of life that we have all become and kept hidden/ secluded as the uncomfortable background and behind-the-scenes mechanisms that have enabled this reality to be functioning as and built upon.

It is becoming aware of the actual forces that will emerge of the actuality that we’ve become due to having accepted and allowed ourselves to exist as a mind system and creating a mind-world working upon these mind-systems of control that are no longer sustainable – and just like any release of a individual kept locked in a perfect cage for a long time, there we will all require a point of self support and reference to be able to ground ourselves to the physical and be able to deal with our own ‘forces’ that will run rampant if we do not make a clear statement of who we really are and what we are willing to live and stand for and by.

2013 – The Future of Consciousness – Introduction

 

For further support:

Desteni

Desteni Forum

Desteni Lite Process

Desteni I Process

Equal Money System

sacred geometry bullshit

 

Interviews:

 

 

Blogs:

This blog is part of the After Death Communication Series


242. Overwhelmed by the Abuse upon Life?

194. Let the Mask Fall!

Human Perception is our Greatest Enemy. Because, it has Devolved into Complete Separation as Self-Interest where the Individual will do its Utmost, to Ensure its own Comfort, Luxury and Survival – No Matter What. That is Extremely Unpleasant – to Watch a World, where Not a Single Face Presented in any way, can be Trusted to be the Real Face. It is Disheartening, to be in a World where no-one really Care. No matter how much Doomsday we have every day, no matter how many Living Beings die – there is just Silence. Not even a Cry. And, no one Shed a Tear. All Accepted, and Allowed.” – Bernard Poolman+

 

Please read the previous entry 241. The EndGame Show: 2012 to get a context on the points I’ll be walking in Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Statements.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within the consideration of humanity being fucked, having no regard to any other human being, I cultivated a desire to have everything be wiped out/ humanity disappearing and within this, create a layer of disdain toward humanity as a whole, without realizing that in this I was simply projecting blame onto others within a stance of superiority/innocence as if I had not participated in every single point that is leading us to this current situation of being close to our own annihilation and annihilating the lives of every single particle that is also here as part of who we are, without realizing that by the sheer fact of me existing, I am equally responsible to any single point I could criticize/ judge or even be ashamed of that other human beings represent in this world.

 

When and as I see myself participating within a quiet-desire for everything to just ‘disappear’ and have humanity wiped out, I stop and I breathe. I realize that facing the reality that we have all participated in is certainly part of what we have to breathe through because I realize that my experience and my desires to ‘end it all’ have no ability to support any being for that matter. Thus I breathe and stop participating in any thoughts that contribute to separating myself from others and the responsibility we all hold as having been equal participants within the current state of humanity.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience disgust as ourselves, human beings, for doing what we’re doing onto each other and every single animal, plant and small particle as part of our existence that we are abusing and simply disregarding within any consideration of them all being also part of what should be regarded as equal, equally valuable, equally important to make life on Earth possible but instead, we have become so imbued in our own pursuit of happiness, of a good time that everyone is just caring after their own well being and survival, because we have all collectively accepted a system wherein one just care-after oneself only, never promoting an actual collective sense of existence/ coexisting and requiring the same points to live thus

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that the evil that I judge and create emotional experiences about when witnessing it within my reality, is nothing else but the consequential outflow of a collective agreement wherein we have accepted and allowed disparity, inequality and scarcity toward fellow human beings, simply because of accepting a country’s economy, a race, a region of the world and the disparity in currencies as actually ‘acceptable’ and ‘real,’ without realizing that in this make-believe world-system, we had never questioned why we haven’t been genuinely benevolent to each other to stop all forms of political, economical and social separations in order to Grant Access to all that is required to live as natural resources and necessary tools to be able to thrive as humanity no matter where we are located in this world.  Within this

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that judging the Evil in humanity is absolutely unnecessary since it is only another layer of self-preoccupation and self-experience added to the already existent selfishness that exists within/as the human mind that only caters for its own benefit individually, disregarding the collective and ecosystem that enables life to be possible on Earth.

When and as I see myself judging humanity/ a single human being’s actions as evil, nasty, spiteful, shameful or any other adjective that points out a degradation of life, I stop and I breathe. I realize that reducing myself in one single moment to assess/ participate in such judgmental activity becomes another link in the chain of self-abuse, because I am only generating yet another emotional experience that only feeds the same mind that is the very starting point of this whole problem in our reality in the first place, since who we are as the mind is the one that thrives upon friction and conflict to generate enough energy to feed itself from the actual physicality that we are here – thus within this realization and as a point of self correction in the moment: I direct myself to breathe through the surge of energy as contempt, disdain, shame and anger and follow through to apply Self-Forgiveness out loud in order to bring myself back to the physical reality wherein I can focus on supporting myself to do/ say that which will support me to Live and others to also realize the same instead of projecting and compounding yet another form of rivalry and antagonism toward others in this world.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that every time I participate in any form of anger toward ‘humanity’ as a mass, as a group in its totality and identify ‘humanity’ as irresponsible is indicating only where I am currently standing as myself, and reacting to that which I would have also participated myself, even if it’s through actually rejoicing at watching another’s series of unfortunate events which already raises attention to see to what extent we have come to be lax about what we deem as entertaining just because of the Experience that we get from it as an energetic kick out of watching another suffering – therefore

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rejoice in watching another’s suffering which is quite a common point in our humanity, wherein because of the fear that we get from hypothetically placing ourselves in the shoes of the person, we would create the opposite experience as a positive experience through vicariously enjoying watching another going through events that are deliberately evil as a problematic situations in our so-called lives and call that entertaining, without realizing that in all of this Self-Experience we are only focusing on ourselves and our personal ‘good’ experience –  but in no way are we actually considering what is it that we are in fact laughing/ rejoicing about and become Aware of what we accept and allow to be commonly experienced as entertaining/ fulfilling without having a clue WHY we rejoice at such evil and generate a positive out of a negative.

 

When and as I see myself generating any form of either positive or negative experience through judging others, I stop and I breathe within the realization that it is within the participation of myself as my mind that I will only contribute to the already existent/portrayed point of experience as ‘common’ and ‘acceptable’ within us human beings, without realizing it is within such participation that we neglect and forget about being equal living beings but only opt for rejoicing in an experience at a mind level of either a positive or a negative that is equally abusive to who we are as physical beings – and to understand this and why please, educate yourself with the Quantum Mind Self Awareness interviews, so one can make an informed decision of why we require to stop all participation in our minds of thoughts/ emotions/ feelings as positive or negative energetic reactions and to start learning how to honor each other as physical beings.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the disgust projected toward ‘humanity’ that I have participated in before and that emerged after watching a group of people deciding upon another being’s life to go through the worst-case scenarios, is in fact my own self-interest and selfish self-experience wherein I am placing myself as ‘above’ those that are making the decisions, as if I was absolutely innocent within such outflow and being completely responsible toward myself , my own mind and my physical reality which I am not yet – thus I see, realize and understand that I can only generate any form of contempt, disdain and disgust toward ‘humanity’ as a single concept in my mind that I have used to abdicate my own responsibility toward myself, toward within my mind and what such participation contributes with as ‘who I am’ within this world.

 

Thus I commit myself to walk absolutely diligently to establish myself as a physical living being that stops in all ways and forms contributing to the same cycles of abuse through judgment, creating emotional experiences upon such judgment and in the end doing nothing to establish solutions but remain as a single victim that adds up to the rest of the victims that believe one have no ‘power’ to change things, without realizing that we have never in fact have any form of ‘power’ upon ourselves in reality until now that we are realizing we can become self-directive beings that deliberately decide to support/ be and become the solution to establish Life in Equality.

I realize that we have never in fact have any form of actual power or control over this reality and that who we are as living beings require physical self-correction to stop participating in the mind assessing one’s performance as either evil or good – step out of any form of positive or negative energetic experience upon assessing our reality, and instead focus on physical solutions that don’t require any form of judgment, contempt, desire to retaliate others or simply ‘wipe them out,’ as that is obviously foolishly again contributing to the same patterns of separation/ abuse and neglect toward one another.

(Listen to Why it is Important to Investigate the Negative – Part 135 for further education and understanding of what we are in fact facing when we deal with the Evil in this world)

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to reduce physical beings to ‘evil characters’ in my mind in order to then create within myself an experience of/as an ‘offended character’ without realizing how in this single participation of any form of backchat or speaking to myself about how ‘fucked we are’ as humanity is only contributing to further characterization and in fact maiming our ability to stand up because within that I am accepting and allowing ourselves to be ‘fucked’ as in powerless, having no ability to self-direct ourselves and essentially within that, accept and allow myself to diminish myself to a single self-defeatism experience that is only existent in my mind – thus

 

When and as I see myself judging people for being ‘evil’ and ‘mean’ and ‘irresponsible’ in my mind, I stop and I breathe. I direct myself to Not participate in these thoughts in any way whatsoever but instead learn about how we function as humanity and see the practical ways in which I can ensure I stop the perpetual cycles of self-abuse such as opposing/ judging or ‘being ashamed’ of being a human being and instead focus on walking the solution to humanity as myself: stopping our minds of desires, wants and needs that lead us to such evil in the first place and become the example of how it is possible to simply look at humanity and have an empty mind, take the facts and propose solutions.

 

I forgive myself that I have ever accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as judgment toward others and reacting emotionally upon another’s actions and projecting blame upon ‘them,’ instead of first taking the point back to self to see where I am in fact reacting because of me being doing the same or simply creating an emotional experience about this spitefulness toward life that I then co-create by participating in my mind of emotions and feelings. I realize that this physical reality is being physically disregarded, exploited and abused and my emotional experience toward it won’t change a thing – I rather absolutely stop, forgive myself for any reaction and continue breathing in my self-stability to be able to direct myself to create solutions, become the solution myself by stopping following my own wants, desires, needs that may in any harm one’s and another’s life.

 

When and as I see myself existing in self judgment and within any emotional experience toward others in my reality, I stop and I breathe within the realization that whatever experience, thought I create toward others in no way contributes to an actual living-solution. Thus I direct myself to instead understand the point that I am judging, see ‘who I am’ toward it, how I am participating in it and in self-awareness direct myself to establish a solution for that which I am judging, which begins by me stopping judging it/ becoming emotional about it and then focus on physical directions/ solutions that can be implemented in order to prevent such ‘evil situation’ from happening in the first place.

 

I realize that we are abusing in the name of satisfying one’s ego and entertainment in this case, wherein the worst-case scenario decisions are being made in order to have a ‘good time’ as a form of entertainment. The same happens when we exert our anger upon others as a form of vindicating our position as victims in this world which becomes nothing else but another grain added to the sack of the plethora of beings that would rather fight against the system/ oppose the government/ retaliate against corporations/ religious institutions and any other association in separation of life that are in no way envisioning a collective agreement to support each other as equals and within that, correcting the root of evil that we have all become and participated within without any form of physical awareness of who we are in fact fighting against.

 

If Karma Existed – as a Real Law of Consequence and Man had to Pay for What has been Allowed on Earth: there would be No End to Suffering for All on Earth, Virtually for Eternity Now. Many Hope to Escape the Consequence, by Finding all kinds of Saviors. How can anyone Save you from yourself – If you are not Willing to do it for yourself? If you are not Willing to Change you, Why must someone else Change you? Because that is your Greatest Fear, that you Claim that anyone else that try and change you, is Brainwashing you… it is Such a Conundrum, the Perfect Trap.”Bernard Poolman+

 

 

When and I see myself wanting to blame and project a single experience of disdain toward human beings for the acts they are perpetrating as any form of abuse toward life  – I stop and I breathe – I realize that such abuse is happening all the time in our reality and that my experience contributes to such abuse. Thus I stop, I breathe, I become aware of the abuse, I trace the point to see how such abuse is created in order to ensure that such root-cause of the abuse is self-corrected within me at all times.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I can only generate an experience upon that which I have participated/ been/ become myself  – thus any form of externalization of judgment is only a key point that I can direct myself to immediately take it back to self, investigate where and how I have become that which I am judging in others and take self responsibility for it. Such as ever rejoicing in watching another’s pain and suffering which we can condemn as ‘evil,’ however we are all inflicting such pain and suffering by the single acceptance of Money as a system to obtain that which we require to live, and such money is not readily available to all human beings equally, that is the real reverse of life that we are All blindly accepting and allowing in this world-system.

 

I realize that if I was aware of the abuse that we are All Collectively directly inflicting upon each other, upon each animal, insect, plant, life particle in this reality, I would have been consumed by my own anger, shame and remorse about it. Thus existing in guilt, shame, remorse, anger and sadness about what we are Doing upon this world is actually self interest – and within that, wanting to ‘wipe out humanity’ is simply in fact just opting to ‘get a quick fix’ to not have to face the consequences we have all co-created in/as this world we’re living in. This is our Doomsday, this is what we participate in on a daily basis beginning with ourselves in our own minds – thus

 

I commit myself to stop participating within my own Mood-change as my self-doom by creating emotional experiences upon the abuse, evil and neglect upon life and walk my physical process to actually become Life / Live as the reverse of all that evil that I can simply then become aware of, establish the root-cause of such evil, plan a solution that I can live and implement as what’s best for all and as such, promote solutions, promote and become the way that we can practically correct the patterns that have we tend to simply judge or become overwhelmed by in self interest as a personal experience.

 

I realize that my responsibility toward this world cannot be possibly corrected or ‘washed away’ with any form of immediate self destruction, as that would be similar to simply ascending/dying as in leaving our consequence behind as this physical world/ the Earth that is holding all our evil deeds as proof of how we can neglect each other and life with such an ease that should be a focus of attention to start creating a sense of self-responsibility and self-worth as life as equals, because as long as I expect consequence to ‘hit others’ and place myself out of the equation, I am still existing in such self interest as in seeing myself as ‘superior’ to those that I believe are the ‘evil ones,’ without realizing that we’re All in this together and we have Always been together in this co-creative process in existence, therefore there is no way out of facing ourselves, no matter what.

 

I commit myself to live the realization how within any form of desire/want and need to only satisfy my self experience as either in a positive or negative experience about another’s thoughts/words/deeds, I am equally contributing to perpetuating this system of abuse, as the system is founded upon satisfying our wants/ needs and desires through making them available through a monetary system that is already set to only benefit some – within this it is to realize how delusional it is that we have all collectively agreed to only benefit ‘some’ and disregard the majority using reasoning, logic, beliefs and ‘laws’ even to protect such elitist granting of ‘living rights and guarantees’ that have become the reflection of how our own minds function: care for yourself and nevermind the rest –

 

Therefore I take the point of self responsibility toward myself, my own mind and become  a physical living example of how it is possible to become a contribution to Life/ Living and sharing myself, my process within this with others so that more can become aware of another way of living as equals, wherein we can in fact then establish an actual self-awareness to see what we are rejoicing with, to become aware of how it is through our desire/want and need to have certain positive experiences that we overlook the abuse that lies beneath it. And this is existent virtually everywhere since this world and reality has become the epitome of evil and everything that is the reverse of life.

 

Thus, I commit myself to continue living a process of physical integrity as life wherein my thoughts/words/deeds speak and express that which I realize we are, that which I realize has to be done and implemented in this world in order to no more support and cater for the abuse toward fellow living species/beings and become life myself, as that is the actual living-example that can propitiate and place in motion the necessary changes that are urgent in this world, such as establishing the Equal Money System that will certainly enable people to be relieved from having to exist in an endless payroll and survival mode, competing to ‘make a living,’ and instead, have enough time to support themselves, to learn about how our mind works, how to support oneself to become a living-self aware being that is self-responsible through the tools of self-support that are the only ones that will enable us to realize our responsibility within this reality, which are writing, Self-Forgiveness, Self Corrective Application, Breathing and sharing because acting alone is futile in this Journey to Life wherein the outcome will always affect the whole.

 

More to come…

 

Further Self Support:

 

“I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that with parent-child, teacher-classroom, Money-humanity relationships being based on Elitism of/as “the One / Chosen One”, has become platforms within humanity that propagate Competition for Survival – put Man against Man, Man against the Physical/Earth, as all compete for/as their Survival, their Elitism, their “specialness, uniqueness, importance” energy experiences, that we would within such relationships – not consider: a solution to this physical existence where we ensure that each parent is equipped to have children, that each child is ensured a life from birth to death, that all children are ensured an equal and one education, that each human being co-exist within a World System that contribute to life on earth. But, we’ve conditioned/submitted ourselves, our Minds to the systems of this world, in ‘how life has always been’ – instead of standing up, and changing, and taking responsibility for ourselves, for those that have gone before us, with what ‘life on earth’ has become.” – Sunette Spies *

 

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Blogs:

 

Interviews that support oneself to understand how to walk our process within the perspective of consequence and informed decisions:

 

Vlog:

2012 Doomsday Character: Sick of Humanity? – YouTube
2012: Overwhelmed with Tears by Media – YouTube

210. Not Having Money Makes You Sad– but Why?

 

One thing is certain, when one is educated to follow through a particular ‘lifestyle’ based on having money and seeking for More money, even if taking an apparent dissident position do we in fact let go of such benefits that we’ve been used to living in. This is based on how as human beings we seek for the point of happiness in our lives in various ways, influencing our decisions in life only to realize after a while how we’ve made decisions based on Energy and Experience instead of physically informing ourselves of the potential outflows, projecting a possible result and outcome of our decisions if living our desires, wants and needs out. Unfortunately, this world is based on the immature consciousness decision-making aspect of ‘follow your dreams’ and within that, always constantly seek for the happiness point, the ‘high’ on life. which is then obviously seeking to get the most of a certain moment in order to feel better about ourselves. As we can see, there is no All as Equals considered in these equations or schemes, it is just a personal desire to fulfill that which we were taught to fulfill: happiness, joy, satisfaction, escalating social status, getting the most influential friendships in order to succeed in this world.

 

I have shared before how my days of having ‘bad times’ when I was a child – around 8-10 years old approximately –  we simply had not as much money as before or have enough to go out to eat our out to ‘buy stuff’ and the regular ‘happy times’ that I had identified with ‘having money.’ To me such austerity measures meant sadness and gloomy times. I guess that part of my life when my father had severe financial troubles was the one that ‘marked’ me the most while growing up, having the uncertainty of for example, suddenly being able to lose it all, lose the house that we own, barely making it through every week, etc. And that’s also the time when I questioned ‘god’ the most and the spiritualist support we were supposed to have, like ‘why’ did this fraud happened to him? Why are we being tested? What is the purpose of being through this turmoil? What type of ‘karma’ are we paying here? And the same went on as there was a great robbery in his business which was like just another bomb being dropped in our financial stability. So, all that worry and concern about money affected me quite a Lot, I mean, that’s probably the time wherein I strived the most to ‘be like others’ and comparing my social status to other people’s and it was coincidentally enough around puberty – it was until my early teens that we got to a point of ‘betterment’ and things stabilized.

 

However, the questions remained: why did we had such unfortunate times? And this must be understood within the context of me simply losing the aspects that I had defined as part of the ‘good things’ in my life, like being able to go out and eat in a restaurant, being able to buy cd’s  or clothes – but most importantly the general experience of ‘being alright’ which certainly was non existent as things turned quite gloomy at home for not having much money, having a constant uncertainty about our future, our properties, having legal problems as well as a desire for revenge toward the person that committed the fraud. Man, that’s where I learned how human beings can really justify evil talk because of someone doing something to you. Obviously I won’t disclose the words I would hear, but all I can say is that such desire for revenge was covered up with a sense of justice. I could not fathom it and even if I wanted to support my family I could still not experience that desire for revenge for whatever were the reasons that man committed the fraud against my father. I learned then about debts and having debtors, lol till this day I remember the names of the people because my father would mention them a lot and cursing while speaking about them of course, I mean yes they owed him lots of money and they all lead us through a financial turmoil, and it was as if ‘our happiness’ then had been stolen from us by ‘them’ – although as everything, it takes two to tango:  there were also measures not taken from my father’s side to avoid such situations. The problem back then was: he trusted people easily. Bad Idea.

 

Now, why am I exposing all of this – to see how everything that I have defined as bad, negative, awful, stressful and general gloomy time of my life was linked to Not having money – or not having ‘as much as’ we used to or perceived that we had before that, and how seeing my father in a constant state of worry and concern lead me to mimic his experience. I became quite uncertain myself, like ‘insecure’ as the entity of ‘money as power’ was not ‘here’ as part of my personality, as the overtly joyful kid that I was. I became more quiet and isolated at that time as well. So, I was quite aware of how much the lack of money can affect you in your ‘beingness’ to the point of just feeling like some scum of the Earth. Oh dear, I remember, this was the time wherein I created a massive self-rejection and wanting to ‘not exist any longer’ because that would mean ‘less expenses’ for my father – I had completely forgotten about this, I wanted to at some point even write it out like deciding that only 4 people were enough in my family and that I simply did not have to exist as my school’s tuition fee would then be saved as well as my food and everything else. These were actual thoughts I had for quite a while, and never really told anyone about it either. I was quite a young child and ‘wanting to help’ – though obviously I was only really victimizing myself further instead of seeing any real form of solution.

 

From then on, I became the ‘austerity measures’ character if you will, always seeking the lowest prices, creating the ‘least expenses’ for my own survival and generally belittling myself to the ‘I’m not worthy of this’ type of experience, which later on became part of myself as a personality in itself, how fucked up is that? This can be the origin of it as well as some physical comparison/ image presentation comparison points/ aspects that I began becoming more aware of as I went growing up, which were blatantly quite obvious to me: rich people were the beautiful people. All of this signifies one thing: money and looks determined how I would FEEL and how I would See myself. It became quite obvious that not having much money and not having what I perceived as perfect looks meant being ‘less than’ and all the inferiority complex kicked in – hence isolation, hence believing that I was just a nuisance and an equivalent to ‘money expenses’ only, a burden, hence my desires to just not be such a nuisance any longer, I really would over-react and be quite extremist in my self-experience which is part of that which is in the past but still here, as I would see a similar character emerging in a place wherein I was being supported and becoming extremely anguished and stressed out when knowing there were financial problems, making the problem the totality of ‘who I am’ and going into this downward spiral almost automatically, not wanting to be a burden , going into sadness due to how I defined my ‘beingness’ according to having money.

So, this is for now the background that I have laid out as part of the counter act to the elitist character which is: suddenly losing all these benefits and going into a ‘recession’ at home, as well as the crisis that I became very aware of in the second half of the 90’s, not only at home but generally in our country, getting to see people that apparently had even gotten cancer out of not being able to pay for their houses and realizing to what extent money defined our ‘well being’ in all ways, fucked up beyond measure. And so, I will continue with Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Application in the Following posts.

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203. The Acceptance of Heaven is the Allowance of Hell

As humanity we have walked life after life not questioning anything in our reality, learning that things are ‘how they are’ because ‘that’s how it works’ and swallowing up this chill-pill-answer which in my case, I swallowed with some discontent initially – however, because I had no physical suffering, lack of food, lack of a house, lack of family, lack of education and learned that even though I was seeing suffering on the streets, being witness to hideous acts of madness – all was apparently ‘fine’ and we could still ‘enjoy’ and ‘have fun’ and seek for our greatest excitement and monetary success,  I simply learned to turn a ‘blind eye’ and being perfectly aware of every moment that I would compare my reality to that of children my age that had to be working on the streets, knocking door by door asking for food and clothes, me only reacting with absolute powerlessness every time, feeling sorry for a few minutes – then forgetting about it and continue with my happy go round life that was possible due to Money. Because, in the end,  what one learns at home when being in a middle-class society is to always aiming ‘higher’ in the social pyramid of greed and negligence and not really bother in trying to ‘save the world/ change the world’ as I had expressed some times – all of it actually stemming from me more feeling ‘bad’ about it than really even considering at that stage me being Them as in equally being here in this world, and that the acceptance of their condition held/ sustained my own pursuit of happiness.

This is similar to the acceptance of heaven and hell and my early obsession with polarity and wondering how I could only fathom ‘staying on the good side’ of BenEVILence, doing all I could to remain always at the good eyes of that god/ spiritual all-seer that I believed in and that became- along with my reality – the constant guiding forces while growing up: the social-conditioning of focusing on ‘aiming higher’ and the spiritual context (I apparently was not raised religiously, but ‘spiritually’ lol)  of doing good/ being a good girl/ aiming to ascend to the light realms when being dead. I did not know much about ‘heaven’ or the bible – but was well aware of Hell and I knew I had to avoid it at all cost. Now, this single neglect toward Hell/ Evil/ Demons the ‘Bad’ and Dark side of reality was almost like a taboo that no one wanted to talk about, not even talking about ‘death’ which obviously, lead me to later on develop my own fascination toward all the things that had been kept ‘unknown’ to me as part of any form of Education and Family/ Society, wherein all one focuses is ‘staying on the positive side! Be Happy! Seek for your own personal improvement!’ type of reality. But still, I was not satisfied.

 

I became a news fanatic when I was probably on my early teens and this was mostly beginning to wanting to understand the financial systems because of aiming at a career in such realms initially – obviously then veering off to the total opposite within hearing everyone say how I was absolutely ‘out of my mind’ if I even think I could create a change in this world – it bummed me out and that’s how I essentially Gave UP any form of actual career that would lead me to be In the system, the core of it in the money-markets and financial deals and veered toward that which I believed was more ‘humane’ such as socials sciences, ending up in literature and arts – which till this day even after all I see hold enough opening and consideration toward that which can create a change in this world if implemented at an educational level.

 

So this is a bit of a background of how I learned to ‘turn a blind eye’ on reality, essentially quickly conforming with everything that seemed like a ‘better option’ for me to take on in my reality, which suited what I was informed I had to aim at while growing up: being a successful person like my parents, in ‘whatever’ I decided to be and become. And I accepted that constant impulse as something ‘cool’ you know? Because I was being ‘cheered up’ by my parents every time that I ‘succeeded’ in my school, yet I always never felt quite happy with it, because I would go into ‘feeling bad’ about those that were behind me and were not even able of attaining a proper mark, even if I had witnessed they tried very hard to – and so this impotence grew and grew within me, not knowing why on Earth did I have it ‘so easy’ in  my life and others were struggling – and this, was my acceptance of ‘Heaven’  as something that was meant only for a few – and denying Hell as the reality of this world, as everything that I could see and perceive as being ‘behind me/ below me’ in any form of social taxation that I became aware of while realizing that there were kids my age – 6 –7 or even less – working on the streets, asking for food, asking for coins while their mothers fed babies next to them, on the sidewalk.  I allowed myself to just pretend that it is ‘fine’ and that they are somehow having to PAY for some awful act in some past life and that’s ‘why’ they are poor/ neglected and even receiving further abuse by the authority, the level of Injustice I became aware of really ‘brought me down’ into a constant state of depression and being sad about the state of the world, only later on and even today realizing/ remind myself how this is also a state of self interest, wherein I then certainly sought to escape from this reality through the realm of imagination, pictures, inspiration, seeking ‘beauty’ in this world where there was clearly non – all as a failed attempt to redeem life in one way or another, never ever considering to what extent I had ‘signed up the contract’ to be part of the ones that wanted to ‘change the world’ outside of ourselves, feeling ‘bad’ for the unfortunate ones and essentially committing myself to want to do some ‘good’ mostly from the starting point of me not feeling guilty for having had a rather privileged lifestyle, as opposed to what I would witnessed around me.

Continuation of the Elite Character

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I had to be and become ‘successful’ just like my parents, wherein this positive attitude and positive experiences was always linked to having money in our pockets and ensuring that we became ‘good savers’ and within that, giving some charity to those that had Nothing only to ‘share what we have’ without ever really considering how the very acceptance of us being able to give to ‘unfortunate ones’ that which we could spare them, implied the acceptance and allowance of inequality in this world as ‘how the system works’ wherein instead of learning about the creation of poverty and inequality that lead to social injustice, I con.formed to only feel ‘bad’ about them and give them money fro once in a while, giving  clothes away while creating an experience of powerlessness within me about them/ the unfortunate ones, which implies how I would only feel bad about them when being in their presence – yet remaining focused on my ‘aim’ to achieve my goals in life, which was mostly linked to being a good person/ doing good to others/ caring about ‘the world’ such as the environment, pollution – I did not even consider animals that much – and essentially creating this profile of being a ‘good person’ linked to success and most importantly, linked to a reward in the afterlife.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to brush aside the fact that I did believe in a light-realm where all the dead people would go to and I was aware of the so called ‘caves of darkness’ wherein I learned that people that had, for example, been participating in wars would go to, and that I would simply have to do everything I could to avoid going there – it wasn’t called ‘hell’ but just ‘darkness’ so, I had to avoid darkness which in this world translated to avoid ending up as a ‘no one’ with no-money/ no-light in this world and within that, see all people that were with no-light/ no-money and living on the streets, being absolutely helpless as people that had probably been inherently evil in some past life and within that justifying their existence as poor people/ unfortunate ones according to that ‘law’ which I later on became aware it was called karma.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to ‘do good’ in my life not because I genuinely cared about other beings, but because ‘I’ did not want to suffer and feeling bad when looking at them and realizing that I had ‘more’ than them – essentially thus any thought or intention of ‘doing good’ was directly linked to the inherent guilt and shame that I developed when and while growing up, due to me feeling powerless to do anything about their situation and as such, always only focusing on how I would experience myself toward the ‘unfortunate ones,’ and believing that I had to redeem Myself by being a good/ careful person even though I always felt awkward while pretending to be so, yet played the act because I wanted to be seen with ‘good eyes’ by society and ultimately by whatever force I was expecting on ‘the other side’ so, I did walk a life of ‘keeping score’ of being a good person, fearing doing ‘bad things’/ fearing ‘evil people’ and only promoting a way to ‘elevate ourselves’ in social conditions and even beingness such as being more ‘enthusiastic’ about life – wanting to ‘do good’ to the ‘less fortunate ones’ yet never in fact investigating what were the causes of their current unequal stance within the system, what was the reason why they were not being helped to have a dignified living and blatantly accepted then poverty just as part of my landscape, not bothering to question about it further because of not getting straight answers about it – thus con.forming, keeping quiet, turning a blind eye and instead focusing only on my personal world and satisfaction, escalating social statuses and aiming at all times to ‘be successful’ in whatever I decided to be and become.

 

I realize that my very starting point of ‘caring for others’ has never been something natural/ genuine to me, no matter how hard I tried to believe it was. But was mostly caused by the fear of having to ‘pay’ something/ someone in the afterlife for having been a ‘bad person’ such as having a ‘good life’ and in that, neglecting others’ realities such as the unfortunate ones, wherein I then tried to ‘do my part’ by seeking to oppose the system, criticize it, judge it and essentially pointing fingers at everyone else but myself, which is how I became self-righteous about my evil  (195. The Righteousness of Evil) and took it to the extent of denying vehemently that I was an equal and one participant of everything in this world that would case suffering, death, starvation in it – it really took me a while to understand how by just the single fact of me being Here as a breathing physical being, I was equally responsible for all that which I had turned a blind eye from for a very long time and how the very position of wanting to ‘do good’/ be a good person’ to the unfortunate ones was in fact blatant self interest, seeking to stop feeling ‘bad’ about those that had no money/ no support from anyone and within that, also earning ‘points’ toward a lightish/ heavenly experience, avoiding going to the ‘caves of darkness’ that I knew simply was something to avoid.

 

This became the foundation of ‘how I functioned’ in my reality, wherein for a long time what ruled me obviously was then only looking at the positive and doing essentially what I believed was ‘proper’ in terms of seeking to give charity/ support to the ‘less fortunate ones’ once that I had attained my elitist-supreme position that I did seek after in my mind/ imagination when thinking about professions and careers that I could direct myself to, which was not up to long ago some 6 years ago wherein I aimed at becoming a ‘well known’ artist so that I could then ‘speak up and change the world!’ because I apparently never stopped wanting to ‘make a change’ but I was precisely not wanting to give up my OWN benefits in order to see how everything works in reality and how I was directly responsible for that which I was trying to ‘save’ and ‘correct’ and ‘reform’ in this reality.

 

So, I commit myself to realize and accept the fact that I have never really genuinely ‘cared’ for other beings in an absolute unconditional manner, due to me always wanting to ‘add up to my score’ of doing something good to others, instead of realizing this is a matter of principle, of Understanding reality wherein once that you Understand, See and Realize how this entire existence functions, how the world system stems from our very relationship of the mind toward the physical, how energy and substance operate, what was heaven and hell and what they represent until today within our lives, how the world system functioned with a preprogrammed life path for all beings wherein there were by design some elitist beings that became the example and role model for the masses to attempt to ‘equate’ to  – while creating poverty, starvation, the ‘ostracized’ and marginalized people that were sustaining such wealth being absolutely disregarded out of the equation of any form of satisfaction and fulfillment. And within this all, realizing that there is No excuse at all to not stand up for life, not only because of it being our absolute responsibility, but because we are it – it is not even about creating a sense of ‘duty’ within it all, it’s about self-realization of us being that whole that is currently undergoing the ‘trials and tribulations’ that are nothing but the outcome of having lived entire lives only seeking to maintain an apparent ‘well being’ at the expense of others that were deliberately quieted/ shut down or even ostracized from the system in order for the majority to seek after the ‘good life’ here and in the hereafter, which became the most well known lie to be Sould in existence, not even only in humanity.

 

Thus I commit myself to realize that the starting point of myself within this process of Self-Equality and Oneness in Self Honesty implies realizing and recognizing the fact that one was initially motivated by obtaining something ‘good’ out of this, some form of ‘reward’ for walking process, without realizing that it is not about changing the world ‘out there’ for others, but changing My world With others – which is something you can read at Heaven’s Journey To Life which clarifies to the exact T. this subtle differentiation that makes actually a big difference with regards to the approach of ‘changing the world’/ wanting to go do good’ and all the points that we must consider before even being able to consider any form of ‘change’ within ourselves/ our reality.

 

I understand that Education is the fundamental aspect to this, as I am a witness of it myself. the more I educate myself about Reality with everything that is being presented as the Investigation of  Existence and this Reality through the Eqafe interviews, I become more certain about myself, my process, my understanding and playing my own ‘devil’s advocate’ to see where the hell there exist still any form of self interest to walk this process, which obviously cannot remain at all not a single iota of ‘convenience’ can determine my every move, otherwise it will be pointed out by myself in Self Honesty in order to realize that any form of Energy-seeking desire is Self-Dishonesty and that implies going to both the ‘good’ and the ‘bad’ as poles of the same energetic fix that the mind is always seeking for.

 

I commit myself to be absolutely self honest to any point of support that I commit myself to give to myself and share with others, in order to not create a certain persona of myself, standing up for ‘something good’ but simply realizing it is a single alignment and correction of how things should have always worked/ functioned in our reality. And this is then a matter of physical principles of living conditions, not of an egotistical approach to make ourselves feel ‘more’ than what we already are here.

 

I will continue  in the following posts debunking my acceptance of an elitist character within me, wanting to ‘do good’/ be good while still holding on mainly a personal self interest about it all to become ‘more’ than myself apparently.

 

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202. Optimism as a Sign of Success

 

Continuing with the Elitist Character – word of the day: Hypocrisy

 

Also suggest exploring my previous approach to  Day 39: Hypocrisy which is the precise word I woke up with this morning, which taps into the ‘good person’ character tied to the Elitist character.

 

Since I walked that point of hypocrisy, it becomes blatantly evident the moment that I pull out a smile just to be representing a form of optimism and within that, obtain a point of benefit with other people. It happened yesterday actually with another lady that smiled at me and I one split second I decided to smile back just to create a form of ‘warmth’ in the moment, which is part of the belief system that is quite ingrained here, not so much openly talking to each other and being ‘overtly expressive’ but just a smile on the face says it all, and I learned this and the memory that comes to mind – lol – is about my mother and she’s aware of this how I would observe her and as she was interacting with other people like in social situations, friends and so forth, she would act in a complete different way and this always concerned me, because she acted so differently toward other beings whereas she would be less ‘docile’ and ‘gentle’ when talking to us, her daughters and at home let’s say. And so because I would observe her doing this, I pointed it out to her even from a very early age like: hey have you noticed how you keep a very tight smile on your face when you’re talking to people, and then I’m talking to you and you don’t pay any attention to me?’ And she was seemingly unaware of this going on, which kind of concern me how ‘off’ she seemed every time that we were with people that we were supposed to have to behave toward them with a certain ‘class’ and ‘etiquette’ and ‘mannerisms’ that we learn almost by osmosis. I mean, I didn’t get much instructions to do that, I simply knew how things worked wherein if we were with any form of elitist/ important people – and not that I hung out with many, lol – but what I perceived people of ‘respect’ according to this system which implied someone that would do business with my father or some other important family connection – and in this, I learned ‘la politesse’ which was mostly linked to behaving in a very adamant way toward my parents when being in front of these people and looking for ways to present myself in a more  candid and jocose expression BUT moderated, because whenever I would begin feeling ‘at ease’ my  mother would start making gestures for me to keep it down/ tone it down/ keep quiet or not speak openly about certain topics, which I was a specialist for, I mean I’m talking about being 5-6 years old and very much living out the pattern of wanting all the attention from people in a not so direct manner, but slowly but surely seeking their attention.

 

These ingredients were basic foundation of the elitist character which would come up whenever I was the ‘small girl of the house’ and there was no other girl that I could compare myself to  – but only be the ‘star of the night’ and end up having people liking me, adoring me at the end of the day, which is what caused me a sense of acceptance within society – therefore, I had learned the ‘recipe’ which was smiling, being docile and gentle and optimistic and funny and all of these aspects that would make people laugh and like me. However all of this was learned from the context of relationships = the key to success in our reality. All these people we’ve met through my father’s business people which became like a second family to me and learned their ways of how to handle myself in such situations and even more so later on when having to play out other roles within the same context due to my father’s two year leadership  position in a certain association, which I will also walk through because as I’ve been writing, I can see that a lot of myself got imprinted from that time wherein I would go to these national conventions and meet all of these people and learn how to handle myself in greeting many unknown beings that I was supposed to be ‘glad to meet,’ lol  – I mean it’s quite hectic to do this when you’re 6 years old, 9- 10 and having to present this one ‘nice side’ of you the whole time, just because ‘that’s how things work.’ And all these people were also part of the group of people from which this memory that I’ve been walking in the past blogs  stem from. 

 

From all of these events and situations I was ‘put through’ at an early age, I learned how to ‘behave’ in society and create this immaculate image of myself which I later on realize even influenced my decisions in life and relationships to the extent of becoming spiteful to it all when raging against ‘the elite’ and ‘society’ in my older years – but for now, I  am speaking about the first 7 years of my life and a bit older up to the puberty phase wherein I still desired to be part of  the so called ‘elite’ within society. Even the way that I dressed obviously gave a 180 degree turn when I decided I would no longer be wanting to study to become some ‘financial advisor’/ actuary and earn lots of money to travel around the world, and choosing that ‘ideal career’ just because of how I was told I would be able to ‘handle it’ and make lots of money with it, which obviously moved my interest to be part of the elite and held such desire of becoming it until my early teens.

 

Within this, there were Several dimensions added to what I am explaining, such as ways to behave, to interact with others, the clothes that I’d wear, the gestures, mannerisms,  sometimes even the lies I had to learn how to disguise when learning ‘how things work ‘ in what is called a ‘political manner’ wherein two people can be talking bullshit about each other all the time but, when being in official meetings be smiling in photographs and standing next to each other as if nothing happened – and the same with the families that had to get along even if there was a massive massacre of gossip and lies going on behind.  From there I became very reserved about ‘my private life’ lol toward people, till this day – and also I can see some grandfather influence on that based on my entire mother’s family being mostly people that relate to ‘people in power’ and me learning about all of that and carrying some ‘flair’ even if I never really get to see a single penny of that, lol.

 

Now, this is not for the purpose of exposing anything of my family or myself – this happens really every single day and it is nothing else but the reality that we have become wherein all that is kept ‘untouched’ is a reputation that can ensure money is always on your pocket/ bank account, and how even if I questioned such ‘conditions’ of people being hypocrite to each other, I was told that that’s how it works and that coming up with the truth or creating a disruption based on disagreeing with others could lead to a rupture in the entire association – and within that I learned that people had to keep a mask on in order to succeed, to survive whatever situation they were in. This was though in terms of handling situations/ businesses and associations at national level, which was of great pressure for my father which I took personal and actually developed quite an anxious personality when having to behave myself in such moments/ events when being participating along in these reunions – and I’m talking about being  9.- 10 years old and I would take the whole thing too seriously I’d say, wherein I knew exactly what was being spoken about this and that person, yet we had to sit with them and share the table while having to put up a smile on my face all the time, even though we all knew we could not really ‘bear our guts’ due to the unspoken problems and situations going ‘underneath the current’ which were not being confronted between families and were kept as a ‘thing of males’ that had to be sorted out in secret meetings/ in private.

 

So, this is a basic layout of an aspect of my life that I had side viewed for quite some time and within that also being permanently used to having some form of benefit that lead us to have a ‘piece of heaven’ every now and then, which made the whole act of pretending quite worth it according to the morals I had learned throughout these years of course – there was no consideration of any form of equality or ‘giving to all’ implied other than my father teaching me how to administrate money and make the economy ‘roll’ by consuming/ buying and within that, not hoarding the money but supporting others through you buying them.

 

I realize that this became an important aspect for me to consider due to the age that I was when I got to be exposed to ‘the ways of the world of success’ and essentially learning with great ease how I could just present myself in a definitive positive way as a happy educated considerate respectful girl that would be ‘accepted’ everywhere due to that, eventually learning quite well how to manipulate people to my own benefit of course and in all of this, was I even considering why only ‘I’ had the opportunity of having such moments of ‘bliss’ and ‘nice life’ even indirect experiences wherein just by ‘association’ I was able to get a good treatment, a point of favoritism or preference, which became a constant point that I sought to maintain, not being ‘part of the mass’ but standing out one way or another, which became my inherent desire to be apparently –lol – original and unique and all of that which became quite strong when being my teens and even rebelling to all of these ‘treats’ in order to ‘stand out’ even from the patterns and expectations that I believed I was being expected to fulfill within my family.

And so that also ended when I realized that not the good or the opposite antagonist character was actually me, obviously, but that I simply had to stop acting out a character only for the sake of my own benefit in any/ all areas of my life, and dare to see who I am without me supporting such characters. Obviously I am speaking about getting to Desteni and beginning to see what I had become – and in this realizing that it is not about not smiling or not having relationships or not wanting to participate in the system – no, it is all about the starting point of what I decide to be and become within the consideration at all times of that which I participate in  being what is best for all in all ways.

 

So, what I will continue debunking specifically after this ‘refresher’ for myself and what I had accepted and allowed within this façade of optimism/ positivity and general character of being a ‘good person’ in order to fit in the ‘higher society’  became part of ‘who I am’ as a constant character that would always be measuring myself and others according to the ‘level of success’ we had within the system, obviously seeing myself as ‘successful’ and expecting probably a lot from myself that was all directly linked to money – and this is part of the points that I haven’t faced within myself, how I would picture myself 10 years ago being this successful writer or working in some publication as an editor in chief or being a financial advisor – lol – I mean, it is plain to see that we are always taught to ‘aim high’ in society, but we never question why we were even only being trained to have such leadership positions while going on ‘missions to support the poor’ – I’m talking about junior high and high school in Jesuit school – and never even pondering WHY poverty exists and WHY we had to be come this type of benevolent dictators within society that would ‘manage’ and ‘administrate’ a point in our society BUT with a pinch of humanitarianism in the Jesus’ style which is more like a Jesuit style wherein money obviously plays great role in it.

 

It is fascinating how one believes that we were not influenced by seemingly ‘unimportant moments/ situations’ in life, but we were and to a great extent. Now, all of this is me ‘laying it all out’ not for the sake of exposing any organization or my family or anything else but just the patterns that we have become as society, wherein we have learned how to lie, how to keep a smile upon our face in order to be liked, accepted and within that, follow the lines of this optimistic/ positive type of approach in this capitalist world wherein it’s all about how you Present yourself as an image to others in order to get a job, get a promotion, be successful in whatever you do, learning that in order to create relationships you have to be cordial and moderately jocose toward them and keeping this ‘puffed up’ stance in order to equate yourself to a Belief of what power should ‘Feel like’ – all based on the idea of money that I have discussed and walked within Self-Forgiveness and Self Corrective Statements in order to equalize myself to my physical and the postures that I decide to implement within myself for physical support, instead of linking them to a sense of superiority/ money / power that can only exist in our minds and the entire generations we’ve lived in this world with Royals and Elite beings that we’ve learned to mimic and copycat in order to apparently ‘attain’ the same success and power they represent, which is part of the whole consumerist society trick that is in  no way acceptable, since all we have been doing is chasing the carrot on the stick with a Great Smile on our face while neglecting the reality that is HERE and being lived with billions not having anything to eat – I mean, all of this proves how we are essentially tunneled vision to disregard anyone ‘below you’ and only look ‘up and above you’ to aim to get near/ close to or equal to people in power and control in society, which is simply being and becoming part of the Elite.

 

This also obviously created a huge dissonance within me, even more so when us people from ‘the city’ would be placed to live with poor people in remote locations for a few days to learn how they live and within that, apparently gain some form of understanding and consideration toward those ‘unfortunate ones,’ but it was actually us just interrupting them in their day to day living conditions, just because of wanting to get a ‘close view’ to them as if they were specimens to be explored and studied and investigated in order to later on simply write an essay for our ‘human values’ class, and report how much we’ve learned to ‘value what we had at home’ and how we would want to ‘change their situation’ someday, but never in fact even being fully aware of how their condition is directly created by the ‘higher positions’ in society, and how without their work in the fields we would have nothing to eat, and how all the money they lacked was probably spent in order to spiff up some part of the city to attract more capital and more investment to become what my home city has become now, quite the epitome of elitism to the max, to a point wherein there are capitals stemming from drug cartels being directly poured into infrastructure, which is actually becoming a mined field, wherein criminals are now resorting to hide there in great mansions and places that are being newly built,  which reveals how far we’ve gone in our world in order to continue this idea of wealth and power wherein nowadays, trafficking guns and drugs is part of the ‘normal riches’ in society, having no scrutiny or any form of regard toward knowing where does all the money come from, which is obviously money laundry and criminal activities. All of this coming from the sheer desire to be part of the elite, to be able to survive with comfort in our reality. Are any of the 40 million poor people (or more) in this country even looked at within all of this that I just explained? – Not at all.  And this is the context for the ‘big cities’ that can afford having a ‘great life’ here in a country that also has one of the richest man in the world, which implies that the highest level of slavery also exists here in an ‘unspoken manner’ just because of essentially allowing only a few to become extra rich out of companies that obviously should be  part of the basic services that – as any other service for that matter – should be free and equally available for all, which is communication.

 

Right now, I am only able to communicate and use the internet and my phone thanks to that rich elite person – hence it is not to want to ‘oppose’ them, it is about seeing how such services must be equalized and available for all within a system that stops promoting the ‘growth’ of power/ capital for only a few that own the entire business/ infrastructure/ industry – but are taken to the point of considering how Life can thrive only in equality and how not only in this country but everywhere in the world, we can become the best living beings we were always meant to be if we stop seeking and hunting preys only for our own benefit – that is stopping viewing life with only a positive attitude of winning and instead, direct our effort to create solutions that can benefit all individuals equally.

 

I experience this as if I had exposed some part of my ‘secret religion’ lol which is interesting because of how we tend to brush aside or ‘leave out of the picture’ aspects that defined quite a lot of ‘who we are’ at the moment and how we stand within our world at the moment, which I will go explaining as I walk and continue the elitist character until it is done with implies all the hidden desire for money, for success and power that got suppressed and transformed into a retaliation toward the system, only to then realize that it is not about opposing the system, nor about seeking to ‘become a better person’ – but about transforming the system into a structure that supports all beings equally, and that is what we are proposing as the Equal Money System.

 

I realize I will also have to clear up my starting point of any form of wanting to ‘clear up my past’ toward standing for equality now, having now seen that all that I obviously initially wanted was to be part of a select few that could ‘remain having it all,’ So I realize that no guilt and no ‘clearing up act’ can be the starting point of supporting the Equal Money System – that is how radically self honest we must be in order to be able to stand in the face of everyone and be able to walk our past, our entire lives and see where and how we were only existing for that ‘piece of heaven’ that money enabled for only a few. Time to burst all the bubbles and elitist dreams – this world can only ‘afford’ Equality now.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep these memories of my past and those ‘bits of heaven’ as something positive and ‘good’ that happened in my life early on, wherein I never questioned further how the motivation of me moving toward a position of money and ‘power’ in this world was not something ‘natural’ or stemming from my ‘inherent impulse’ to become part of the elite/ people with lots of money in this world, but was based on the entire process of being exposed to the benefits and reality that people with lots of money experience, which became a part of my ‘operative system’ without me being fully aware of it, wherein I would have an immediate assessment of my reality according to money/ power/ benefits that I could get from a relationship, a situation and accordingly act and behave in order to obtain it.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to brush aside seemingly ‘unimportant aspects of my life’ that are directly linked to how I was educated and what I was exposed in terms of money and the benefits that such money brings which became part of the desire that I held throughout my life – either in a conscious or an unconscious manner – as a form of not only surviving in this world, but making ‘lots of money’ in order to have the most comfortable lifestyle that I had become aware of by the people that I would hang out with through my life

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to adopt the optimistic way of being as way to succeed in this world and within this, becoming a sociable person in my early years wherein I knew that ‘success was guaranteed’ if one satisfies another person by standing as a positive individual that has a positive stance such as smiling and speaking in the most ‘adequate’ manners, ensuring within that my acceptance or even appraisal from other beings/ mostly grown ups which made me feel like I was already paving my way to success in my future, and this was only me as a child, which also contributed to me not being used to hanging out with lots of children, but mostly being wanting to form part of the ‘adult world’ at an early age – all of this because of having learned the ways of entertainment and enjoyment that grown ups had – all of this due to being exposed to it at an early age, which lead me to ‘aim high’ within the first phase of my life to become equally successful and rich to be part of that circle of people for real, and not just ‘sporadically.’

 

When and as I see myself wanting to present myself in a positive attitude and optimistic expression from the starting point of covering up my desire to be part of an elite and or be successful by creating relationships wherein I am regarded as this positive/ responsible being, I stop and I breathe – I realize that everything that I have become is the direct outflow of learning how to survive and ‘make it’ in this world based on money – and that all that I require to do is re-direct these aspects to a best for all outcome wherein I see that it is not about now opposing the system or ‘retaliating’ about it – as I’ve done in the past – but simply insert myself within the system with this acquired points in order to benefit the most people possible in my reality as that Is what I really want to be and become, a spokesperson that can deal with all types of people in order to educate ourselves to understand how it is only through working together as Equals that we can bring forth and sustain a system that supports everyone equally, wherein no more ‘social statuses’ will exist, but only that which is best for all and for that, we have the absolute power to decide to do so now that we see and realize how detrimental to our world and reality it is to keep a system based on profit and self interest for only a few, just because of life not being regarded as equal in all ways.

 

Self Forgiveness will continue as well as Self Corrective Statement to Align myself to that which is Best for All.

 

 

Desteni

Desteni I Process

Desteni Lite Process : Enroll today, Free Online Course to learn the living skills to live in Equality

Equal Money System

 

Press the funk

Watch:

Barbara Ehrenreich – Smile or Die

 

Blogs:

 
The Series of Interviews The Soul of Money exists as a backbone and necessary material to study in order to understand the dynamics of the monetary system, economics and our individual lifestyles – a must hear to have a practical perspective on the changes necessary within this world in order to create a living condition that is best for all.

 

Suggest reading the following series by Maya Harel to understand the Desteni Message

The Correction Process and The Desteni Message (Part 1) – Day 198

The Correction Process and The Desteni Message (Part 2) – Day 199

The Correction Process and The Desteni Message (Part 3) – Day 200

The Correction Process and The Desteni Message (Part 4) – Day 201

The Correction Process and The Desteni Message (Part 5) – Day 202

 

 


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