Tag Archives: happy

205. Self Interest as an Obstacle to Real Change

 

  • “Freedom of choice is now protected by the individual as it feels like it is free –in spite of the evidence to the contrary and even when it rebels– it only do so in ways that do not impede with its special comforts and thus –the system is safe from the group as the individual now act as a group through what it buys or watch on TV. So –you fear to lose COMFORT and CHOICE to BUY stuff” – Bernard Poolman

 

Continuation of the Elite Character

194. Let the Mask Fall!
195. The Righteousness of Evil
196. The Elitist Evil behind Relationships
197. Friends of Convenience
198. Wealth and Positivity a Synonym of Abuse
199. You Hate the Beautiful People?
200. The Make-Up Reality
201. Friends of Convenience: for a little piece of Heaven
202. Optimism as a Sign of Success
203. The Acceptance of Heaven is the Allowance of Hell

204. Opposing the System: Elitist Act of Irresponsibility

 

 

I would  judge people that would only spend their time focusing on ‘what to wear, what party to attend, calling their friends, sitting on their couch watching TV, going shopping, etc. which I deemed to be activities that only people that have no survival problems can participate on – however, I was obviously projecting the problem outside of myself and taking on again the ‘Self Righteous’ aspect of judging others, pointing fingers and blaming because it’s much easier to Blame than take Self Responsibility and see where and how I was doing exactly the same processes – different conditions, different scenarios but same starting point: having money, not worrying about having to ‘make a living’ and instead believing that through my wits and intellectualization of reality, I could create a difference in this world.

 

Well, what did I get from those endless hours of sitting sipping coffee with sociologists, writers, economists, poets, artists and plain dissidents of the system? Nothing else but always ending up with a feeling of ‘powerlessness’ while not having to worry much about it at the end of the day, because hey at least we were having money and studies to live, I see how even within that the point of change was projected ‘there’ in the future, never ever pointing fingers back to ourselves, I was so high up on my horse about blaming the system that I simply was absolutely getting an energetic kick out of it. All we would eventually realize is that  money determined everything and that no intention of change will do a single thing, nor criticizing will do a thing either which is part of what I was exploring yesterday in terms of the opposition of the system, of which I obviously participated in.

 

I was comfortably wanting to become part of the elitist groups of intellectuals that could speak about reality as politics, economics, culture ‘from head to toe’ and be revered for that while earning good money from the system for doing so – because of what I had seen some others in my reality doing – however never in fact becoming an active part of proposing a solution, because even then I was still only wanting to do it as a form of ‘resistance’ and ‘exposure’ which is how many of our current intellectuals and well-versed people can have ‘all the knowledge and information about how the system works’ – this being within the current available considerations that fall short when it comes to a holistic understanding of reality – and can even propose great sounding theories of how to create a change – but missing out the point of ourselves, who we are as the mind, how the world system is an outflow and consequence of this relationship of ourselves to our own mind has been absolutely missed.

 

Most of these theories are never taken to an actual political implementation, since they end up within certain groups/ factions of society that only seek to create a constant ‘war’ and opposition to the ‘establishment’ as a source of self-empowerment, without realizing how there will be absolutely No change in reality if we remain only blaming others, finding flaws without understanding the cause of such flaws, sipping our coffee in long hours of discussing the system, in conventions and global forums to ‘discuss the problems’ without proposing tangible solutions, or going to protest and then hooking up with friends to party, or raging against the system of which one is also being able to eat from; all of this reveals to what extent money is also a condition that allows us to ‘rebel’ only and be concerned in self—interested ways to make an apparent ‘change’ in this world, while being rather absolutely ignorant to the actuality of the process that must take place in order to Really in Fact consider even what an actual change in this world would require, which is at all times: ourselves, focusing at this moment on the individual and realizing that no matter how long it takes, education is the key here, and that as long as we continue diverting our efforts to seek to create a point of ‘opposition’ from our safety zones of ‘opposition’ and ‘dissidence,’ nothing will change.

 

So, it became rather part of the main branches of my personality, wanting to Remain within my comfort zone while taking on a seemingly ‘critical position’ toward the system, keeping my benefits, keeping my security and protection that money gives me, having the ability to ‘study lots’ to have all careers necessary to ‘empower’ myself  as a knowledgeable Act without Acting it out – this is how when getting to Desteni and realizing that I would Actually have to do it became quite a blow to my ego, and I can say that in this regard, I am barely only stepping within my own realization of what does it meant to really Do everything it takes/ whatever it takes to live out the words I am speaking here – otherwise, it would be no different to sipping coffee, theorizing about reality and expecting ‘world change’ to come while I remain in my comfort zone. 

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that I could ‘change the world’ while holding on specifically to that which would ensure that every step that I take toward such apparent ‘change’/ revolution would not disturb my security and comfort zone within my reality, which implies: not allowing my own criticism toward the system to compromise my position, which is then being and becoming the absolute walking paradox, deliberately ignoring how it was only because of money that I was able to have the time to read and chat and educate myself about the system and direct such knowledge and information ‘against the system’ while also seeking to educate myself ‘more’ within the system to create further opposition/ criticism to it within a position of ‘respect’/academicism which is like wanting to use weapons to end a war – which does happen in our reality – and so, it reveals the level of ignorance we have accepted and allowed ourselves to deliberately create in order to ensure that We are Not affected by that which we are complaining about – this is within the standing point of the specific character of the educated/elitist antagonist of the system.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to actually initiate such desire to ‘oppose the system’ from a vantage point of having money, having a good life and only wanting to seek to do some ‘justice’ for the people mostly because of wanting to become a particular character in my society wherein I would still remain in a position of comfort/ power and ‘support others’ as well, which reveals how I was not willing to fully let go of my self interest and desire to remain in a comfortable position in order to create a point of change in this world, and I see and realize how this has been ‘the point’ that I have accepted as a limitation, because of still wanting to have the ‘good life’ at all times, which then becomes just another way of wanting change while holding on to an aspect of that which is required to be changed, because of fearing losing the comfort and general ability to buy/ consume/ fulfill my desires and in such point, I give into the same cycle of self interest that exists when considering having to do whatever it takes to create a point of change in this world, which certainly begins with myself and the decisions and Choices I have at the moment.

 

Within this, I commit myself to ensure that I am not deliberately wanting to stick to my point/ zone of comfort in order to remain ‘safe’ and ‘protected’ by the money that I have as a point that must be feared to let go of, and instead remind myself how Self Interest is The point that has always stood in front of any actual full-blown decision to stand as an immovable example of self-correction in this word. Thus,

 

I commit myself to investigate where and how  Self Interest exists within me, maybe not in the form of luxuries or comfort as money, but also as a point of further responsibilities and preparation that is required for me in order to stand as part of the actual change in this world system.

 

More to come.

 

OK Computer - Marlenlife's version

 

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Day 28: I’m Always Right

The cycle of generating some form of conflict  and friction in our reality to then create and formulate ways to get ourselves out of it into a positive experience is the only way that we can be constantly accumulating these ‘pats of god’ (or god spats lol)  to temporarily satiate our constant yearn to be ‘fulfilled/ happy/ productive’ and yes, creating a sense of comfort out of that initial self-created beaten and won war against, well essentially only ourselves.


Self Righteous was my ‘flavor’ when it came to living out such pattern, and I am dead honest that I had not realized this until it was pointed out in my face while being at the farm and talking the point of ‘my way’ out, wherein I had deemed that my perceived ‘positive attributes’ didn’t have to be self-forgiven/ corrected, without realizing how they were in fact only generated out of the point that I now understand with more clarity: we birth ourselves as conflict that seeks the eternal completion/ fulfillment/ satisfaction as that positive experience that we have to constantly feed/ upkeep as an elusive ‘state of being’ that has lead us to co-create the current world system where ‘all your dreams can come true’ if you have enough millions in the hole-on-wall and enough needy people to do ‘whatever they can for you’ in exchange of some of your cake’s crumbs.



So – this constant desire to always be ‘right,’ of always having the ‘ultimate say’ becomes a ‘desire-to-always-win’ pattern wherein any window of opportunity is used to outshine and blind with lights of ‘I know it all’ wherein the more we believe we are ‘right,’ the harder it gets to turn off the light  – why? because all things related to instant gratification are easily consumed. It’s like offering a candy or a vegetable to a ‘regular’ person – they would mostly go for the candy because it creates a nice fluffy feeling, whereas the vegetable is cool for your digestive tract – yet it doesn’t recreate, instigate or enhance any feeling that makes us feel a little piece of heaven for a moment, only running out as the effect of any drug that we then seek to come back for more. The fact that we have equated ‘winning’ to ‘living’ is another one of those capitalistic logical statements that we have adopted as ‘our life’ – and within this, we have accepted ourselves to become our very own dictators of what is right/ wrong, good/ bad in our reality. We all run our own Wall Street in our mind and somehow we always manage to make the algorithms work on our favor – no different to how money runs (or is created out of thin air) in this world.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find fault in people, things, places, events in order to have the ‘ultimate say’ about it wherein in my mind, I either have to humbly accept that something is ‘cool’ and ‘alright’ or I get the most juice of it all by claiming that ‘it’s wrong, it’s not good enough, it’s flawed’ which proves that I only get the most winning-experience when in my mind I am able to find enough fault/ mistakes that I can judge in order to then correct them within my own mind and in that believe that ‘I can do/ be better than that, my idea was better’


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I always get the most of the cake/ the most positive reward whenever I am able to prove something/ someone wrong and in that, build my ego up based on ‘finding fault in another,’ wherein such projection can only exist if I seek to prove myself right according to what I ‘believe,’ and ‘what I am’ as an idea in my mind, because I see and realize that in physicality, we are all one and equal – bones, cells, tissue, organs, flesh don’t require to prove something or someone wrong or right in order to exist.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always place myself in my mind above others, wherein no matter what is being said, I cringe whenever there is something that I must admit is ‘right’ and in that, believe that I am ‘diminishing’ myself because of agreeing with another’s words/ statements, wherein because I didn’t get to ‘prove them wrong,’ I am left with my initial state of only seeking to make myself feel ‘more’ and ‘better’ based on placing myself ‘on top’ of others, which can only be a mental masturbation in my mind wherein my ‘success’ is stemming from bashing/ proving others wrong.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become the very judge of everything and everyone in means of seeking ways to always make myself feel better about it all, which implies that I seek to ‘out do’ someone, ‘become better’ based on excelling in comparison to others, wherein I then live a life of constant and continuous strife to ‘always be right,’ because ‘being right’ has become the very definition of how I see myself, who I believe myself to be, because that’s the way that I have accepted and allowed myself to be worthy/ be acceptable/ be important toward others – in this


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live a life not for myself but as a constant comparison and projected judgment onto others, without realizing that within this very mechanism of me always ‘being right,’ I am in fact fearing and avoiding ‘being wrong’ at all cost, which implies that


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘diminish’ who I am as an idea – which is the only thing that can diminish of myself – when realizing that I was in fact ‘wrong’ within a particular circumstance wherein such experience is felt as a failure, as a ‘loss’ which is what generates envy and jealousy whenever we project such loss as an experience toward others that ‘got it right,’ and in that, create an entire antagonism based on only ‘me’ as my ego wanting to continue ‘winning’ all the time, wherein anyone that gets to be on the same/ similar position is seen as an enemy/ threat to who I am as the ego that is always right.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become the very power-game that fuels the idea of myself in this immaculate self-righteous person that suffers and goes into the negative and self-deprecating person if that initial desire and projection as a ‘winner’ is not fulfilled wherein then I step down of the hill all the way down and below sea level, wherein I in fact remain ‘out of competition’ because of perceiving that ‘If I could not do it my way, then fuck it, I won’t play the game any more’, which is the usual way of victimizing myself wherein


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in a victimized state that also requires to be kept ‘alive’ by me deliberately denying that I am capable/ able to direct myself effectively and believing that because I didn’t ‘get it right’ the first time, I just rather pass-on the point/ work/ assignment onto others that ‘have proven to do it right, ‘ which is not an unconditional move but an actual victimized state masked with ‘understanding, ‘which is stemming from the spiteful nature toward ourselves when not getting our immediate ‘fix’ of feeling ‘great’ for ‘always being right’ about something/ someone/ event.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the opposite polarity of believing that ‘I always fail at this/ I always get it wrong’ which also gets an energetic kick as an experience whenever another can confirm and commiserate to my own victimization, wherein them agreeing that I am in fact ‘fucked up,’ makes me – absurdly so – feel better, because I was able to get a confirmation from another of what I created for myself as ‘being wrong,’ which in a twisted energetic game becomes a ‘positive experience’ because I got seconded by another in my own mental delusion, proving in my mind that ‘I was right,’ which becomes then a perceived ‘fine’ experience in stagnant self-wrongness that eventually makes us feel ‘good’ as well, because we get the confirmation by others that ‘that’s who I am/ that’s ‘my nature’ and that’s what ‘I deal with,’ yet without the actual understanding of how I created such patterns for myself.



I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to only become a person of ‘good reputation’ when considering that all acts of such self-seeking positive nature support the maintenance of the money system running as the consequence of this desire to only win. Instead I see that any disagreement toward a point of common sense, can only allow myself to reflect within me ‘who am I’ while reading others’ blogs/ sharings and in that, see if I am trying to prove something wrong/ right when and while reading others words.


I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that I was born out of conflict and in that, becoming Self-Righteous means that I get my satisfaction from being appraised as ‘always right,’ which is what then gets me out of my initial self-perception of being wrong and seeking to ‘be right’ wherein through obtaining the positive feedback, I build the conceptual confidence and stability based on compliments/ words/ perceptions that I believe is ‘who I am,’ therefore perceiving it as a way of accepting ‘who I am’ as ‘always being right’ at the eyes of others, creating me a flattery experience – without realizing that I am the only one that has structured this ‘rewarding game, ‘ wherein others’ expression is fitted into my own rules of the game to make them useful to fulfill my own created patterns of winning, losing, being recognized, being wronged by others, in that scheming my own inner conflict through positive and negative feedback that I have accepted and allowed to define ‘who I am.’


I realize that I have always only played all of these games in secret, within my mind wherein there is no ‘others eyes’ as judgments other than the thoughts that I constructed within myself at all times. This is then debunking the constant participation within the permanent comparison toward others to assess ‘where am I in relation to others,’ which can only exist within me existing as a value that can be more or less than others, which is ludicrous and can only be ‘real’ as the idea of self – never as who I really am as one and equal as life.


I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that what I in fact fear to self forgive is my ability to continue existing as a self-righteous person because in that, ‘who I am’ is exposed and mined wherein all that is left for me is to live without being a constant energy seeking machine to be ‘right’ at all times, but instead simply direct myself within the consideration of what’s best for all, wherein I am able to express in a self-directive manner wherein I ensure no backchat as comparison/ judgments/ self righteousness is being the starting point of my participation.


When and as I see myself assessing others using my right-o-meter as the mental ever-present judge that I’ve become, I stop and I breathe – I realize that all that I am ‘assessing’ is in fact my own mind, projecting judgments onto other which eventually  affect and disrate how I view others – in my mind – and in that be the point that hears/ sees within common sense wherein I allow myself to stand as the correction and then simply externalize it/ communicating, which is then being a supportive point to establish equal-relationships wherein no more competition, rivalry and judgment onto others as right or wrong is perpetuated.


I commit myself to stop the mechanism of me wanting to be right all the time in order to accumulate ‘props for my ego,’ wherein who I am and has been cannot be defined as knowledge/ information/ self beliefs to feed on. I move me as an assessment of what’s best for all in the moment, without over complicating the point by having to add ‘extra value’ to it –I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to adopt self-righteousness as my personal religion wherein everything I judge upon others ‘is and must be so’ because in my mind ‘I’m always right,’ which is used as a necessary crutch to cover up the initial uncertainty, mistrust, fear and self judgment that is polarized into a positive-view of reality wherein I make sure that I am always ‘winning’


I commit myself to stop all desires to always win, and in that, give myself back to myself that which I thought I had to ‘prove someone/ something’ wrong to, within this I am able to identify the points that I have separated myself from and in that, assess my application in practicality and living-reality wherein the only law of our being as equality and oneness can be the ultimate say in this reality, not knowledge.


Desteni

Desteni Forum

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  • Sunette Spies – My Evil Twin: Sunette explains the manifestation of a parasitical ‘evil twin’ that grew and exists within and as self as a resonant back-chat system.

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Buy your holy-daze–be merry in a crisis mess

 

We have all indulged into ‘that time of the year’ wherein we asked toys to a non-existent benevolent man that could bring you and apparently “all kids” everything you wished for down your chimney – or under your door if you didn’t get to live in the stereotype of houses with the nice chimney, which now forms part of the collective ‘ideal’ of what a house should look like for Christmas purposes.  I bet you didn’t precisely ponder where, how or who created such toys, at least I didn’t at that time. Though this entire secrecy on these non invisible characters that gave stuff away to kids certainly created a dissonance within me because the whole thing didn’t match the ways of how everything else worked in the world.

I pondered how it was possible for someone to bring all of those products ‘for free’ during the night, deliver them in every single home during the hours that we would be sleeping and manage to get it all done without anyone ever noticing. I’d get anxious as hell to know how that worked, I even pondered if these guys had the ability to stop the time. A cultural clarification is that I never got stuff from ‘Santa’ because my parents told us that ‘that’ was an ‘American thing,’ so we would get our toys on January 6th by ‘the three wise men’ which is exactly the same thing really, in fact it is often counter productive as kids tend to think ‘Oh they are three so I can ask stuff to each one of them!’ Some others even got to get stuff in both dates, that’s depending on the family obviously and their ability to acquire stuff. Both points work the exact same way, making us believe that some guys could magically read our letters where we began developing our manipulation tactics telling them how ‘good’ and well-behaved we had been through the year to then feel confident enough to drop the list of the ultimate toys we had been desiring for, a list mostly influenced by all the stuff we would watch on the TV ads which are ‘surprisingly’ ubiquitous toward the end of the year, more so than any other time.

This is only part of how we have created a set of ‘unspoken agreements’ in society to create perpetual lies that sound ‘nice’ to all kids and create the dissonance of there being some ‘benevolent’ guy/guys that are able to give you toys only during this particular date of the year.

All of this sounded awfully wrong, something ‘was not right’ within this miraculous toy-delivery whenever I would see people that are living in the streets, having no food to eat, seeing kids my age selling candies in the traffic lights every day. I was not able to ‘make sense’ of some people not having a place to live or food to eat, yet having these guys in this same reality that can bring everyone all the toys you want regardless of the price – how come that they are Not supporting those in real need throughout the  year to have a decent living condition? No one could answer this to me. I grew some form of sadness around this time of the year because of that.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a ‘sadness’ experience through ‘Christmas time’ because of always having pondered what would happen to poor people having no food, no ‘special warm meal,’ no proper place to stay yet many of us having our nice ‘dinners’ and giving presents to each other and being all ‘joyous’ as if everything was alright in this world.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become deliberately ‘sad’ and ‘depressed’ while growing up when pondering why poor people couldn’t enjoy a Christmas time like I did, with presents and all the food that I often wondered they could use to eat for an entire weak.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to make myself ‘feel better’ by imagining that they too had a ‘cool Christmas time’ given by someone in the government and making them ‘happy’ at least once a year – this is part of the self-brainwashing in order to be able to ‘cope’ with a reality wherein millions consume the last drop of their wallets and enroll in 12 month debts just to be able to buy stuff to those that ‘they love.’

This would seriously create a dissonance in my experience and this is a point I can see I might have inherited from my father  who would react most of the times to this season as well – yet I associated and developed it mostly to becoming ‘over-sensitive’ to ‘those in need’ while everyone just shopped around the clock. I couldn’t compute the fact that what I perceived back then as a ‘majority’ could have these food binges on that day while others didn’t have anything to eat. My mother used to tell me that the government would surely supply them with a nice dinner as well – yeah right… I don’t blame her though, she did what she could to make me ‘feel better’ and get myself out of that internalization to stop over-analyzing the entire world’s situation during ‘Christmas time.’

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create an experience of sadness as an inner-suffering whenever I could not make ‘sense’ of this world and the inner-workings of Christmas time which was like an absolute parallel dimension that would suddenly ‘emerge’ where everyone feels ‘ happy’ and more ‘compassionate’ to one another, though never living this out throughout the rest of the year.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ever participate in the ‘special atmosphere’ either through happiness as a child due to the presents I would get or sadness while growing up, creating a sulky mood within me through this time of the year, every year without considering that I was in fact participating in this separate-dimension to this reality through an emotional experience that was related to ‘the season’ without pondering my participation being equal to that of ‘happiness’ or ‘joy’ that others experience yet in the opposite direction, still participating in a self-created experience related to a time of the year called ‘Christmas.’

This year has been the most ‘stable’ I’ve been through the past years, it’s taken some time and over three Decembers to not indulge into the usual depressive state, also for some other reasons wherein people in my reality would somehow become more depressed and suicidal during these days, so I had to deal with some of that in the past during ‘these days’ – all is memory based, so this is just sharing how such memories are then imprinted and how within our minds we relate certain ‘days of the year’ for the sake of keeping our mind systems that require memories and our participation within those memories to continue ‘ruling our world.’

 

Back to consumerism

I’m glad to say I didn’t participate in this entire game of the Christmas religion-rite where you are apparently able to demonstrate to another ‘how much you care’ through giving them stuff. The very fact that we believe this is a ‘must do’ is an indicative of participating in a set of beliefs that we’ve accepted as part of ‘traditions’ and ‘culture’ in the name of consumerism, because let’s be absolutely honest here: no one really gives a fuck about Jesus in this whole shopping-binge.

Production depends on whether a certain industry has a stable amount of faithful consumers that will keep an industry running creating enough profit to ‘keep up with the business.’ We are so predictable as human beings that such ‘needs’ are created out of nowhere to cover the most insignificant aspects of a human being’s life, yet making it as attractive as possible to make it a potential commercial success. Once we become ‘hooked on’ a particular product, we make it part of our lives which means becoming regular buyers of that which we now believe ‘we require to live.’

Within this process I have simplified my consumerist traits exponentially. I was brought up in terms of being used to seeing people buying, it became part of my ‘lifestyle’ to have all of these unnecessary products for personal care or more clothes than what I actually required, buying stuff that ‘defined me’ like cd’s and books, music magazines, and lots of other regular ‘traits’ that involved buying particular items that supported ‘my personality’ which included a shit load of antiques for decorative purposes. I just took a glance at all of that stuff in the storage room here, it’s all in boxes now, useless as it always was.

Once that I started debunking my ‘personal religion’ – which I based on these products/ items – I realized how much I had become used to buying and consuming as part of my life. I have been able to become aware of in terms of simplifying to a great extent the amount of stuff I buy overall.

Consumerism is what has given continuation to this current never ending machinery of buying and selling, accumulating and wanting more at the end of the day, everything powered by cheap slave labor that is tacitly implied in most of the stuff we buy in stores.

Production of unnecessary means is part of the entire capital-thinking machine that only seeks to create profit. Does anyone really give a damn about ‘toys’ or ‘making kids happy’ about it? No, children are just easy gullible targets which make them the most vulnerable marketing-spot during the entire Santa and Christmas time. These are all convenient dates to extricate ourselves from an entire year of scarcity and limitation – savings are destined to buy food, clothes, toys, cars, appliances and virtually anything else that we can give to each other as ‘presents,’ a presentation of our compliance to the current system where ‘traditions’ are sold and maintained as social codes with extreme ease once that everyone agrees on ‘how things are’ and what this ‘season’ represents.

We have all accepted consumerism as our one religion, as the ‘true code,’ the configuration of money being the one driving force to create virtually everything in this world.  We have disregarded ourselves as human beings whenever we don’t even get to ponder ‘who makes this all happen? Who builds the shoes that I wear? Who makes the clothes? who builds this furniture? Who harvests the food I eat? Whenever we buy something, we are tacitly agreeing and participating in all the current negligible labor conditions that the majority of the products we consume are created in. 

It is unacceptable to take a single stuffed animal as something that generates such ‘warmth’ and ‘tender’ without ever pondering how it was created in the first place.

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to create a sense of ‘being happy’ with the stuff that I would get which was the moment that my ‘sadness’ and all other questions would suddenly ‘dissipate’ because I had what I had vehemently desired.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I can make people happy through buying and giving them stuff, without realizing this was just an acquired belief within this current system wherein buying stuff is a primary action to keep the enslavement rolling.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a system of consumerism wherein I have equated ‘caring for another’ to ‘buying them stuff’ and linking this to ‘feeling good’ for giving other stuff while expecting something in return as well.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to compromise myself for the sake of ‘following a tradition’ and buying stuff within ‘Christmas time’ in the past to show that I ‘cared’ for others.

 

We have to stop compromising ourselves in these type of agreements as traditions and rites wherein all that ‘goes on’ is consuming: buying, eating, drinking and any other excess that having such apparent ‘joy’ creates in a human being. I was just outside in the garden listening to how people usually just get drunk and start singing and eating and that’s their ‘Christmas time’ – path.ethic. This must stop.

There will obviously be no Christmas like we know it, everyday will be Christmas if it is usually defined as a ‘peaceful time of the year’ where everyone is loving each other and ‘forgiving’ – we’ll make that self-forgiveness, self honesty and living according to principles that can be applied every single moment that we direct ourselves to create a world that’s best for all in Equality.

I suggest you watch/ read the following stuff to get more perspectives on the points exposed here.

 

Read:

Santa’s Workshop

Watch:

CHRISTMAS EVERY DAY HOW ?

Christmas for Profit Rant and Considerations

Who Builds Your Toys? Buy your Holy-Daze 

Music:

Scary Christmas – Slave Bells are Ringing

“Santa is an Illusion” – The North Whole Crew
SO OUT THERE – This Is Why Christmas Is Bullshit!
Jedi Mind Tricks – Shadow Business


Seeking God is a money-driven scam

Religion promotes self interest, focusing on a set of beliefs that are directed to fulfill those  ‘spiritual needs’ that a human being is seemingly bound to experience on Earth.  Such ‘fulfillment’ is linked to obtaining that which we’ve equated our ‘happiness’ to, which can only be real if you have the money to give it to yourself. Eh, so where was ‘god’ in the entire equation anyways?

This is a special extra-lengthy sunny god Sunday edition partly influenced by a chat we had earlier and because of having at  least some 3 to 4 churches in a peripheral area of less than a kilometer – one around the corner by the way– where after coming home from a walk I imagined having to go to one of those rites and sit flat listening some man perorate on how ‘god’ will save you and you must repent and feel shitty for your sins. Glad that this was never my type of Sundays, though I did go through the entire god-seeking experience.

The fact that religions are popular is because they are seemingly promoting the ‘good will of man’ through being ‘benevolent’ toward fellow human beings and kind of earning good-karma – o sorry that’s the wrong religion – earning sufficient patting from god that will eventually draw you closer to the golden gates of paradise a.k.a.  salvation, which in the eyes of regular mortals like you and me that’s equated to being eternally blissful and existing in a happy ending that’s being promoted by both the Vatican and Disney alike.

Forgiveness is promoted as something that you ask for – as if you weren’t able to give it to yourself and require your master’s permission for that or something along the lines; then told by your pastor / herd manager to do the pertinent retribution after which you’ll feel ‘so good’ that you’ll drop some of your coins around as a gesture of gratefulness for experiencing such an easy brainwash and go back to ‘feeling good’ or at least less guilty. Sounds ludicrous now in terms of ‘asking’ for forgiveness, though this is it all works  in the world of mastering-manipulation through religious ‘principles.’

Within that, another type of indirect way of clearing your aura from past sins is paying your Sunday tithing where your benevolence is measured (me-assured) according to the number of zeros your bill has – yes, there we already have  a commercial per-chasing situation of paying-buying that involves money. You pay according to the amount of pain you’ve caused  for your sins with a set of prayers where words lose all possible meaning, where you talk yourself to ‘feel better’ without ever even daring to see/ acknowledge  the cause of committing such actions in the first place.  Then there’s the ultimate blissful moment on Sundays where a specific song is sang and the basket comes along your way:  you have to ‘pay’  for such absolved sins with actual money which will ensure you a seat in the front row on your way to heaven. Now you’re saved, forgiven and smiled at  by some man that heard your atrocities while, I’m sure, he’s done that and sometimes even more than that. This is based on real experiences and facts that I won’t discuss here, though I’ve had my trail on ‘religion’ and the power that they hold in fact – by power meaning money obviously which allows them to be so popular in conditioning the minds that seek for salvation and forgiveness instead of giving it to themselves.

How else would religion become the greatest corporation or monopoly around the world if it wasn’t through tackling on human’s feeble minds that seek a god to take responsibility for them while being willing to pay for a quick mind fix and feel ‘good’ about it all?  Imperialism. Oppression of those ‘weak minded pagan people’ that they eventually turned into the most fervent Catholics on Earth. It’s was only through a constant and consistent indoctrination – which also involved actual physical and verbal abuse – that religion was able to be accepted as equal to the executive and judicial powers of a nation.

Even if the catholic church/ Christianity promote ‘asking for forgiveness’, the saint inquisition as a subdivision of the Catholic Roman Church was one of the first institutions that promoted a form of capital punishment through the inquisition directed to those that refused to accept ‘god as their savior’ – might be confusing the motto with Islam, but it’s all the same anyways. There you would have heretics punished with the most vile artifacts I’ve ever seen in my life, all of them forming an exhibition that even after it is promoted as the actuality that it was – meaning coming in the combo of Christianity’s imperialism tactics to ‘reform’ those that failed to comply to the ‘one and only true god’ – people are still following such institution with a literal blind faith.

Why does religion doesn’t speak about self responsibility? Self Honesty? Well, because in the very depths of their agenda they must keep you bound to the idea that ‘you need them’, that ‘you need your god’, that you require to go there every Sunday to check out your neighbor’s wife – I mean, to check how bad/good you’ve been in that week, feel sad and miserable about it for the hour or so that the entire charade lasts and then leave  after having accepted that it was your fault and apparently repenting which will leave you with  a ‘clear conscience’. All of this after having left your juicy tithing which gives you the sensation of being now ‘freed from all your criminal activity’ during the week and so, you’re ready to do it all over again!

See, in any of those moments do we actually take  a look at the world outside of ourselves? One is only seeking for salvation, feeling better about oneself = not so miserable and creating a false sense of comfort through asking for world peace or hungry kids to be fed yet doing nothing in fact to promote solutions or expose the reality as it is. Why? Because the almighty belief in a god is more powerful than any common sense that won’t ever be shared in churches as that would be like setting their own boycott to have empty seat from the following Sunday on.

Self empowerment is then promoted by the seemingly counter-act to the orthodox religions which is spirituality. There you got the universe – not a single god – giving you all that you want while enhancing your ability to be ‘at ease’ and ‘in silence’ while the world is apparently just fine. In spirituality you’re also seeking to save your ass and sit on it for a while trying to ‘connect the source’; you also want to get to be with that godhead that some love to define as an ‘energy’ or an omniscient being that, ‘at least,’ is not defined by having long hair, blue eyes and a prominent beard – yet in essence the same stories and roles  as hierarchical systems are  lived and applied. Any real self empowerment and self realization would pose a threat to any religion/spiritual congregation because it would  free people from having to ‘follow spirituality/ being spiritual’ and consuming all of that which promotes ‘being at peace with yourself’ through blindfolding techniques where it’s definitely easier to sit on your ass and meditate yourself ‘till you’re feeling something fuzzy inside, than facing your own thoughts and the exact nature that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to exist as, which is not ‘good’ or benevolent, otherwise religions wouldn’t exist in the first place as they are the result of fear and abdication of self responsibility to a ‘higher being’.

When I was a child I would pray everyday on the way to school from day one up to when I finished elementary school. Looking back it’s fascinating  how in that moment I would get a feeling that I was doing something ‘good’ while praying for starving kids to be fed, yet at the same time asking for us (family) to win the lottery and get that huge house that meant the equivalent to ‘happiness’ on Earth at the time. So in essence asking ‘god’ for things in the same manner I would when blowing the candles on each Birthday cake.

My family wasn’t that religious, though this ‘our holy father’ prayer was something usually prayed as it seemed somewhat ‘real’. It would feel like something ‘solemn’ to do everyday – what a load of crap because the entire thing is about someone/ god doing stuff for us and preventing us from doing shit and giving us all – I mean, there is no actual sense of supporting each other as equals in it, or considering life as the only value, speaking, writing and communicating that which is of support to others and ourselves; I see no sentence that includes plants, animals and the environment as part of the equation in such prayer. It’s never worked obviously, I never won the lottery and starvation hasn’t been eradicated either.

I was taught to do this – I followed, that’s all I knew. I got to know of other ‘god’ ideas which I then felt fortunate for, almost like a chosen one for having this ‘direct link’ with the ‘realm of the death ones’ due to being familiar with channelings and spirituality. The fact that I kept that as secret and that we as a family would keep it as a secret reveals what type of cult it really was, really only a few knew about it yet it all seemed so real. Being familiar with the ideas/ beliefs of having these type of ‘privileges’ such as having people apparently ‘watching over me all the time’ created a sense of ‘god is watching me, I must be a good person or else I’ll be damned’ – the fear of god developed and within that, I got to know this world and the system for what it is.

Ludicrous that god as the policeman in the head is taught in religions. Some can even use the idea of god to educate their kids like ‘don’t swear or you’ll make baby Jesus cry!’

I never had crosses in my house – because of this entire spiritual thing that we were into which now I see it was no different with its own set of rules and secrets around it – but anyways, seeing them in my friends’ houses made me ponder how people liked seeing gory representations of a man with nails on hands and feet while agonizing in what evidently seems like a very painful death; then daring to carry them  around their necks and shaping them with all sorts of materials and motives – ludicrous. Yet at the same time I was mostly living with the fear of others’ negative vibes and ‘jealousy’ and essentially being aware of not doing anything that these ‘beings’ could see and later on recriminate myself with. It was ludicrous, they ‘knew it all’ and because it would be ventilated in front of everyone in my family, I’d rather focus on keeping my reputation somewhat clean.

That’s how I grew up with the fear of a ‘god’ as the punisher and the beliefs of asking for whatever you want that will make you happy while not forgetting to ‘drop a line’ to bless the people in Biafra so that they can  have something to eat.

From there my delusions on spirituality only escalated even beyond the spiritualism and channelings that I had grown up with. They became more elusive which was in direct consonance to my lifestyle of escapism while trying to make sense of this world, wanting to make my life have a certain ‘purpose’ or ‘meaning’ which was linked to me feeling like a chosen one to create my own religion. Lol. I became quite a nutjob for a while when seeking the truths and the ‘real salvation’ from this world. Nothing made sense yet there were patterns repeating all the way. That’s how when getting to Desteni everything fit, like the that  puzzle that I wouldn’t have ever been able to put together alone. I would sometimes feel like the hermit looking for some answer that only a fool could dare to embrace.

The point that I originally wanted to share here is how religious indoctrination should be regarded as mind control and harmful brainwashing as it enables children to believe in fantasy-like stories as their source of existing here; beliefs on ethereal beings that are apparently caring for you becomes quite the hair in the soup when we grow up and see that there are other people that are not exactly being ‘cared for’ and have to actually strive for a living. This creates a rift between the reality that is here and the stories that are told ‘as real’ within religion – and by religion I should ratify and clarify that I’m referring to the one that I was familiar with which is the catholic one. We are taught to be thankful because ‘we’ have what we need and for that, we’re taught to feel grateful and special because  the good old god ‘cares for us’ –  but what about the rest of the world?

Through such blessings and prayers we’re taught to ask for that which will ‘make us happy’, for that which will ensure that we are ‘safe’ and even healthy while still aiming to sit next to the holy father of god. Lol what a fuckup really. I can only say that promoting the idea of a benevolent god and indoctrinating that onto a child can only make you complicit of an atrocity that leads to the creation of irresponsible and airy-fairy human beings that believe that someone will do the job for them, and that anything ‘good’ that happens has been an act of the ‘divine forces’ that are now giving results after years of prayers to ‘get it’ – never actually questioning why isn’t the same ‘fortunate position’ not available for everyone equally?

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to place my life at the ‘hands of god’ and creating a massive delusion within me as my life thinking that someone is always ‘taking care of me’ – within this developing a sense of being ‘special’ as well as being observed which unfolded in an irrational fear of god that then became the reason to ‘be good’, which stems from such initial fear.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create myself as the idea of a ‘benevolent person’ only out of ‘fear of god’, fear of being exposed for the ‘real intentions I had’ and exposing the nature of the deeds that I would hold in my mind in secret because of the threat they posed to my falsely created integrity.

It’s such a fuckup that we indoctrinate kids with morality, it is ludicrous for all the shit that it develops which is primarily fear of being punished or exposed or ‘falling from the grace of god’ if one is a bad bad kid. There must only be one single morality point: what’s best for all to end all poles of good/evil.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to motivate my life and ‘good actions’ as points and ‘credits’ that I would be seemingly saving and keeping a record of by this apparent god so that I could get to be eventually saved and having a great afterlife in this elusive paradise where I could finally get my ‘reward’ for being a ‘good girl in this world’.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to motivate me to move, to only do things and act in ways that were ‘good’ or seemingly ‘benevolent’ out of self interest only, out of accumulating my good-god points and later on ‘good karma’ wherein the underlying expectation of getting the same in return existed as a secret desire within me.

If we could’ve actually realized that it is possible to give and take openly as an equal and one relationship, there would be no need to expect rewards for ‘doing something good’ as it wouldn’t be labeled as ‘doing good’ or not, it would just be the way that things are conducted and lived in an Equality world – there no morality would be required, no expectation to get things in return but simply giving and taking within the same principle of equality as life – as what’s here.

We’ve compromised ourselves so much with creating certain attitudes that are seen as ‘goodwill’, developing quirks and mannerisms, words and appearances that will follow the norm of how ‘good people’ look and act like. It is not true, ‘good people’ are as equal as the most experienced scavenger like person that is seeking to get something out of something/ someone else – they only have different masks and accepted roles, but the essence of the final motivator to do so is the same in nature.

Daring to see this single aspect of ourselves might be tough for some, simply because we realize that we’ve never actually moved ourselves as an actual act of self-realization meaning self movement, but it was always motivated to obtain or become something/ someone of perceived ‘well-beingness’ and more often than not, of power and success = rich people = money.

So religion and its indoctrination is brewing hypocrisy in the world from head to toe. It is teaching that imaginary people are seemingly watching over you while fulfilling your dreams and making you all pampered and cared for, which  generates an inner conflict when realizing that there are billions of people that don’t ’ know ‘god’ because they’re not being pampered or cared for. This is how we discover the fact that we’ve been taught lies wherein parents are the ones that are responsible for, because the child knows nothing and has no idea of how to walk in the world – it is only through parents that they accept what they say as ‘fact’ and ‘truth’. As the child grows up we can expect him/her to not trust their parents ever again and do their own exploration and realizations to see what makes sense once they step into reality and see how it actually functions – this is though the most preferable way it goes, sometimes it turns out in further self abuse and confusion of what this world is and what living must be about. This is then linked to money of course and once that money is seen as the main driving force for religions and the idea of such god to exist, the idea of any altruism or benevolence is debunked.

That’s how at Desteni we are presenting common sense solutions that don’t require a single point of belief to be understood. The practical points of understanding how we exist and function in our reality can be cross referenced by anyone by directly investigating our reality, being our own reality-checker with regards to how relationships operate, how things ‘move’ within ourselves as experiences wherein we’ll always get down to seeing the accepted and allowed ‘nature of man’ in the current system as the source of such convenient belief or idea that motivates seeking one’s ‘heavenly experience’ in one way or another.

“All I want in life is to be happy” is what guides our actions, this is the real fucker that must be seen from all angles; even in walking this process if there’s but a single expectation of ‘making it,’ we expose it to ourselves for what it is as that would indicate we’re still playing the religion game, expecting something/ someone super natural to do things for us.

Exposing this is the least we can do to make sure more people are able to step out of the self-created see-through crystal box wherein we cage ourselves while believing we are free, because ‘the barrier’ is just so thin and clear. In fact the entire monetary system can be viewed as that single crystal clear barrier between ourselves and others. We believe we have free choice, we believe we have free will but in essence we’re just like rats in a cage as well, not even questioning the in or out as such comfortable status quo of never questioning reality is more enjoyable than having to go through the rather ‘uncomfortable’ realization of it all being a blatant lie. This is how I’m sure that many, many people would rather spend their days lying to themselves – even if being fully aware of doing so – than having to give up the illusion of happiness and fool-fill.ment that the single idea of god or someone watching over your head might provide –  yes, in some sick sense of our ‘spiritual requirements’ to not feel alone.

This has turned into another buybill as part of my white past seeking the holy-lies that would make me have such connection that I sought with all my might for something ‘divine’, something ‘out of this world’ that could give me a reason to exist and be. This is how I got to disregard all human aspects of reality, I deliberately neglected them to ensure I remained focused in this elusive spiritual realm that I thought I’d reach by being a ‘good god servant’ in a meek and positive way.

I perorate this religious rant with the following:

Self Respect is Not promoted through religion as you have to turn the other cheek before you realize you have to stand up for yourself and prevent any form of abuse in the first place.

Self Responsibility is not promoted through religion because you can ‘ask’ someone for forgiveness, but never give it to yourself as a way of realizing your own fuck up and being the real ‘master creator’ behind your experience.

Self-Trust is never promoted in religion as that would imply you wouldn’t require to pray and go to church to have your ‘god’ giving you all the strength and might that you can’t apparently give to yourself. You are encouraged to ‘trust your feelings/ heart’ which is only but a physical organ that doesn’t think, another delusion promoted by religion/lightworking malarkey.

Self Honesty is never part of your religious curriculum because realizing yourself as one and equal would debunk the imposition of hierarchy that keeps the chains of religion tied to each one’s feet.

Self Will is not promoted as you have to ask for courage and a certain reward in the way to move yourself to do anything in this world, otherwise ‘what would be the point of it all?’

Self Forgiveness is NOT promoted by religion of course, otherwise the priest would be prescinded and lose his job as the special pastor in the church of your preference, he wouldn’t be able to rejoice with the money that comes ‘indirectly’ as part of ‘paying for your sins’ besides existing in a personal inflated state of having some type of powers conferred on to him to hear other people’s dark deeds and be able to ‘absolve’ someone’s fuckups. Forgiveness is then ‘asked’ and not realized as part of taking Self Responsibility for our actions and consequences.

Self-Support is not promoted in religion as you are often led to and taught that you must ask God to give you the strength and you must follow an entire brainwashing session to make sense of this world while believing that an all-mighty invisible hand is guiding your actions and making you go through some nefarious experiences just to teach you a lesson, from which you’ll either come up to the surface again or die in the bottom of such situation. Yet apparently ‘god’ and his ‘mysterious ways’ have planned that specifically for you to realize one of those morals that will apparently change your life.

Self Investigation is not supported – knowing yourself is only ‘god’s task’ as he/she/it knows why things are placed on your way. It is taught that stuff ‘happens to you’ yet you  are apparently not the creator of them all, but only the victim that can then ask for forgiveness and keep going to church to renew their desire to ‘get to god’ and be eternally happy.

Self correction is certainly NOT promoted as that would imply that you could become a common sensical living being that would not require to go and self-flagellate each sunday, asking for forgiveness and paying money for your sins. You would eventually realize that all that you require is correcting your patterns and habits to start acting in ways that will  support you and others equally which would demerge your relationship with ‘god’ as a necessity in your life to act in ways that are best for all = you become your own god.

Self Realization is NOT supported as you’d see that if Oneness and Equality are the principles of this world,  you are then one and equal as any idea/concept of ‘God’ and as such, you see yourself as the responsible one for all that is here – the marvelous and the fuckups. Now the act must be cleaned up to create a tabula rasa for kids to step into a world where all past can be only remembered as a hell of a nightmare to never repeat it again. At last a god-police free land forevermore.

This can only be done through the Equal Money System where all religions are given and end as we simply realize: we can give it all to ourselves in Equality.

weakness


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