Tag Archives: hating christmas

461. Transforming Christmas Within Me

Or, how to practically change from being the Grinch to a person that actually embodies the principles of living in equality and what’s best for all in practical manners.

Ok so, Christmas passed and based on the commitment shared at the beginning of the month, I must recognize I’ve done quite good in terms of stopping my ‘usual reactions to Christmas’ over the month and being diligent in making it a point to change who I am in the midst of all things that usually go along the lines within this holiday season.

There are two judgments I can pin-point related to how I had usually seen/identified this season to be and I will be sharing then how I have done my point in changing those judgments into a supportive set of doings within myself this time around.

First thing is how I had judged the whole getting together in a halo of peace and niceness as phony, as hypocritical, as ‘false’ because it didn’t make sense to me to only have this going on once a year or whenever major tragedies happened around the world. So, here it’s interesting because a friend of my mother’s (so my friend as well) sent me a message on Christmas and said something related to how Christmas brings the best of us as human beings, all that care, love, sharing, compassion, hope and kindness. I responded to her that I can agree with that and that we should not only live this during Christmas, but extend it to our everyday reality. The same I did when she sent some words relating Christmas to Jesus’ words, so I thanked her for the message again and related it back to making those words real as ourselves, to live the words that Jesus shared in our everyday living, which she agreed to as well. That right there, me responding in a more contributory manner to those messages is already one point of change within me where before I would have probably played ‘kind’ and just thank it and within me say ‘whatever!’ but, this time I took the actual time to read and make it a point to give back that moment of attention and appreciation with a supportive note at the same time, one that reflects what I want to change within myself and be that one person that changes what I had previously defined as ‘phoniness’ or ‘hypocrisy’ that I had labeled everything positive and ‘warm’ going on around these holidays to be. I had not realized I was being ‘hypocritical’ myself around these things in the way I used to ‘care’ about the holiday, but in the back of my head always be continually judging it and being ‘fed up’ with it.

Here then, I am no longer blaming others for ‘being hypocrites’ for only behaving this way once a year and reacting to it within my own spite and ‘filtered view’, because I know people like me tend to take a higher stance in believing that we are very keen on finding everyone else’s faults, but we rarely take a moment to truly see within ourselves and how we are contributing to create the same problem we are complaining about.

So how did I change that which I had judged as phony and hypocritical into genuineness, a real care and consideration and also, an expression of myself? An example is in simple interactions that had that usual tinge of ‘it’s Christmas/near Christmas time’ and some generosity point emerged, I thanked it in a decision to be genuinely appreciating others about it, not backchatting it within my mind or judging it as before as ‘ah this is so phony, so predictable, too hypocritical, ah it’s for convenience’ and the rest of it, but instead truly embraced those moments for the expressions they are, without ‘tainting them’ with only the ‘Christmas/seasonal halo’ around it, but more like embracing those expressions in others as a an expression of who they are and can be, yes, all year round!

And interestingly enough, I have been making this a point for myself in my every day interactions with unknown people as well, no matter how petty or insignificant, to talk to others, to address others in the way that I would like to as well, not as a point of likeness/preference or convenience, but simply a truly ‘giving of myself’ through my expression, through any point of simple generosity that can come in many forms, a ‘kinder self’ indeed is what I’m developing, no longer the ‘bitter’ version of myself that acted out of that hypocritical in fact and phony kindness as per morals or ‘traditions’ but, more of a genuine enjoyment of meeting with others, of seeing family members which is definitely something quite new to me to be honest.

I used to go to all of those reunions and Christmas more within a point of obligation, which led me to simply skip it for some years in the past recent years, until this time around where I make it a point to not ‘load’ within me all the past judgments or others’ judgments on this holiday, but make it simply that getting together with family that I can enjoy, express myself in, talk to those that I want to establish communication to, contribute with something to it – like baking a cake – and giving presents that I can see are practical and supportive like health books, food supplements, basic clothing, which is quite cool in fact, nothing too fancy or extravagant really, but I actually enjoyed the decorations I made for the presents and wrapping them up, actually going out of the usual ‘red and green’ and instead using lots of colors in them, that was fun and enjoyable too.

In this, I am also able to stand ‘outside of myself’ to consider how this holiday for others is something that becomes very special, a special gathering and get together so in that, I didn’t judge it, I enjoyed the intimate reunion it was, impromptu due to particular settings we arranged it with and had a good time without any ‘excesses’ or anything like that, fine enough to come home and simply be grateful for the company, the nice foods, the talking, the sharing of some gifts and receiving of them and for all of us still being together this time around. This has been quite a change considering I had deliberately antagonized this celebration with my ‘inner war’ and conflictive reactions towards the whole setting, being uncomfortable most of the times, which yeah in way means I stood as the ‘war point’ toward it all, whereas now I could simply ‘flow’ with it yet in a directive manner because I didn’t get carried away by any sort of positivity either, but simply seeing ‘no difference’ to any other family gathering for example which means that I am already starting to expand this point of genuine expression in other times/situations as well.

The other point of judgment toward Christmas had always been consumerism. This still came up a few times in relation to the vastness of stuff that can be bought in these days, the crowded malls and supermarkets, but It was just that, an acknowledgement of ‘how things are’ and I assisted myself when facing these crowds in sharing with my partner how yes, it is crowded, yes, lots of people, yes, it’s not a weekend, it’s a regular weekday before Christmas time and I’ve decided to not react to it, which worked just fine, embracing it.

So, here in the sense of judging consumerism, I realize I can’t change others, I cannot decide what others spend their money on or change ‘their behaviors’ around this time of the year, I can only do that myself and that’s what I can rather focus on. Here has to do more with the relationship to money and realizing that sure I’d like to give a present to everyone as a means of appreciation, but sometimes that’s not possible, and it’s not something I see entirely needed either. I instead don’t focus on giving something ‘on Christmas’ only, but rather whenever I can and there’s an opportunity, giving little things here and there that I actually gift with a meaning of appreciation, of giving to others that which I know they enjoy or need – and yes here it’s definitely not focusing on ‘giving something pricey’ at all, but more like seeing how practical it is, how useful it is, how supportive it can be or how I can make it myself – and that’s how I then sort of ‘measure’ what I’d like to give because they are usually things I’d give to myself too, sometimes also considering their likes and preferences of course, but still make it a point to ‘make a statement’ with the kind of gift I give, which is overall in the means of being supportive and practically useful.

And so, in conclusion, I spent a very different Christmas season this year, and all that I required to do is make a clear and self-aware decision to change my attitude, to stop my behavior that wanted to ‘show with all of my being my refusal to be part of it’ which, in looking back, actually could have caused discomfort and reactions in others that I didn’t actually want to create, yet I became oblivious to and blind to it all because of my self-interest in ‘making a statement’, one of refusal, denial, antagonism – ah that word here again! – antagonizing everything ‘Christmas’ related.

This time, I’m focusing on integrating these new ways not only ‘this month’ but the whole year to come and this is definitely something that has been unfolding from the past last months of the year and from the very blogs I’ve been sharing on deconstructing this ‘bitter self’ or ‘pessimist self’ or ‘gloomy self’ into one that actually embodies the ways, living words that I’d like us all to live by as human beings, all year long, every day.

So! Let’s make it happen

 

Recommended audio:

Christmas – The Crucifixion of Jesus – Part 73

 

Living Words

 

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455. Traditional Experiences During the Season

(Or Quick considerations for me to let go of ‘The Grinch’ Character this holiday season)

With the advent of Christmas and all stores around and the streets being filled with xmas decorations, I decided to make of this the time of the year that I don’t ‘dislike the most’ for all the reasons I have shared throughout the years and instead make it a challenge to prove to myself that I can in fact stop my backchat about ‘Christmas’ and all that it entails.

It’s day 3 of this month and so far I’ve been stopping my judgment toward people that go and buy their natural tree as Christmas tree as I see them on the top of the cars, same when passing by a whole area dedicated to Christmas decorations… I realize that me getting pissed about it – as it was usual – won’t change others’ minds about consumerism or whatever and it won’t assist me in any way either and only keeps me in the ‘Grinch’ personality system that has to constantly pull out some discontent at all things Christmas…. In a way, it’s time to mature for me, lol.

I also understand that my discontent is not really bringing through a message to anyone really, I only appear as a very bitter or moody person. Instead, what I can do is in conversations or if asked, I can give my perspective of why I believe that spending money on live trees that will end up in the garbage in January is a waste of life and money – and how they can buy plastic ones instead or make their own from dry twigs – my mother has been doing that, looks great and minimalistic lol – but in my family we’ve never bought natural ones anyways so, one can only preach by example.

 

Whenever I hear Christmas songs in the stores, I don’t create a disgust toward it or ‘annoyance’ because I realize this is a clear personality decision I’ve managed to pull out every single time, as the ‘Grinch me’.

Instead I just breathe and not give it any special attention, I mean it’s just a song, whatever input and value I place on it, it’s my own.

The same applies to people buying stuff in Christmas, packed stores, more traffic… I commit myself to continue even more so in this season – which used to be the season where I’d get ‘more fed up’ around the streets – breathe, slow down, don’t judge, see it for ‘what it is’ as in a tradition that everyone is locked into or participating into willingly and I don’t have to do the same, therefore, I just let it be – I won’t change or create awareness by me becoming pissed about it or try and pull out faces at people buying stuff = message is not shared by believing I am righteous enough to tell other people they are ‘wrong’ and ‘deluded’ about their habits, the principles are lived by actually demonstrating what being one and equal to everything is which is: not reacting at all, not allowing myself to be affected at all by it.

Family reunions… I won’t avoid them, as a matter of fact will go to one in some hours, I realize that they are great spaces where I can also prove I am not avoiding people, avoiding celebrations as such and also to allow myself to continue developing openness and relationship to others in whichever way possible, because my Grinch personality is about to get starved from here on.

I won’t cringe at seeing holiday decorations around, even if I decide to not use them myself, I realize I have been bothered by all the meanings and associations I’ve given them, the colors, the sounds, the symbols – but ultimately, it’s just matter, it’s part of what is here, so what am I doing wasting my breaths playing the one that reacts all the time like a clockwork about it? No more.

I rather give this end of the year point another meaning, one where I can look back at aaaalll the points that I have opened up, gave closure to, started creating, got committed to, points I’ve just begun to open up for the first time to change, and just keep at it day by day, not making any specific date ‘more’ than it is, other than the usual dinners or time with family as I spend it any other time of the year… which means: I decide what I make of this season this year and I decide to no longer be the Grinch and prove to myself that I can let go of these personalities I have defined as ‘me’.

I realize how ‘foolish’ in a way this programming is, but I won’t go into judging it either, I see it for what it is. Time to rather spend my breath in developing stability and self-honesty, rather than rehashing my own ‘traditional experiences during the season’- see the paradox? I use to complain about the repetition of characters and ‘Christmas as a tradition’ yet I had created my own tradition to stand as the opposite point of all things ‘Christmas’ so… bam, there you go, we are as equally supportive of Christmas when standing as an ‘opposition’ to it – apparently. So best thing is not create any experience at all about it, and rather develop the expressions that can emerge in this or any other season for that matter, for I am not bound by dates or seasons or traditions: I decide who I am, what I live and what I express.

Here’s to another challenge to deprogram my own personalities that are not supportive, but plain annoying in themselves.

Thanks for reading

 

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Suggested recordings for the day:

 

Learn and walk with us how to Embrace and Create Life here:


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