Tag Archives: hatred

505. Why Do We Hate?

Or understanding hate as a way to avoid looking at how we created expectations towards others being or doing that which we desired/wanted for ourselves.

This has been a question that I consider we have all had in our lives at some point and unfortunately like many other ‘darker’ aspects of our minds, we fear investigating ‘who we are’ as hate, instead of seeing that in the first place, it’s not really about ‘hating others’- it is an accumulation of negative reactions that we are projecting towards others that are based on an initial positive experience and expectation that we created towards something or someone. This way love and hate are in fact existing as these relationships that we hold through positive and negative experiences, leading us to eventually have to ‘burst the bubbles’ of the perceived positive in order to reveal behind it all, what is it that we have in fact been projecting towards another as an expectation of what we would like/love them to be and do for us.

“One cannot continue with an illusion like this in relationships, how are we ever going to learn how to be ourselves, to stand on our own two feet, to be individuals, to be independent, if throughout existence all we do is expecting everything and everyone else to be something for us when we’re not even willing to be it for ourselves, I mean how can we even expect it or demand it, or depend on it from someone else if we don’t really in fact know what it really I fact means to be all of those things, that we’re wanting others to be it for us. “Atlanteans # 80, Eqafe.com

 

This quote from an audio about love and hate in relationships very much stuck with me because it assisted me when it got published some years ago, to understand why it is so easy to go from ‘love’ to ‘hate’ or any other negative experiences specifically within a relationship – be it with family, friendship or partnership. And I’ve also had a few people ask this same question to me lately, where we seem to get ‘puzzled’ over the realization that we are experiencing hate, anger or any other ‘negative’ reaction towards people that we had a generally positive relationship with initially.

 

What  I learned from this interview/audio is that in order for ‘hate’ to exist, we first had to create an expectation, a positive ideal about another in a relationship where we hoped that all of what we have defined as ‘good’, ‘desirable’ or ‘positive aspects’ that we wanted them to be, would become a constant reality of themselves and therefore in the relationship with ourselves/with us.

 

And what happens when we see our expectations ‘fail’, that’s where the shift from ‘loving’ all those positive/good experiences comes back to its opposite, which is ‘hate’ or any other negative reactions where one shifts the point of responsibility towards others as ‘blame’ and ‘hatred’ based on not seeing these positive-experiences fulfilled within ourselves, instead of actually seeing the point of self-responsibility that opens up for us to look at, which is to in fact first see what kind of ideas, expectations and ‘best scenarios’ we created in our minds and projected towards another, waiting and hoping that they would ‘change for us’ or ‘become the best for themselves and therefore for us’ wherein, the moment that this proves to be an ‘unfulfilled expectation’, we believe that ‘the other person is letting us down’ or is ‘betraying us’ but in reality, who created the initial positive-idealism towards the potential change of another person? We did, and therefore throughout our ‘usual reactions’ that we’ve accepted and allowed as ‘human nature’ in this kind of situations, we’ve come to see hate as something valid towards another. But I’ve learned that it is not so, because it is an experience that Is being projected onto another, and at the same time I’d dare to say it is mostly representing the anger towards oneself for having indulged into expectations of others to be able to change, which is therefore where we usually don’t want to acknowledge that we did this to ourselves = we created the positive expectation in our minds, wanting ‘others’ to  be all of that ‘good’ for us where as the quote says, we are wanting others to be for us what we haven’t yet been and done for ourselves – and when reality proves this is not so, it’s not ‘real’ then, we hit the wall and create negative reactions to it.

 

This is also very common towards parents where as children we create ideas of what kind of ‘good parents’ we’d like to have and when our expectations are not met, we end up hating them based on not being able to fulfill those positive things we had expected our parents to be or do for us. Of course as children it’s more difficult to take responsibility for this, but as adults it becomes one of those things where we have to acknowledge our collective responsibility in how we have allowed ‘parenting’ to be done and practiced for such a long time, where we all have our stories to tell on how we can see the flaws in it, but we haven’t yet dared to stand up and own the consequences to take responsibility for that which we have hated or blamed our parents for, because it then doesn’t reflect ‘them’ but ourselves in not wanting to be the change for ourselves, to live for ourselves that which we hold a grudge towards our parents for not doing/being for us. And that’s no longer acceptable.

 

Hate is genuinely another tantrum, another way to justify self-pity, anger, disempowerment, victimization where we are not realizing our first and most important point of self-responsibility, which is that of first being willing to look at all things that we have attached a positive experience towards, which we’ve turned into expectations, beliefs, desires that we have projected onto something or someone and maintaining a positive relationship to all of that as an illusion, then eventually has to hit the ground to see the truth of it all, as anything else that must come back down to earth after flying ‘high’ on positive feelings or expectations.

 

In this case, the best thing to do is to self-forgive all the positive expectations and experiences we had projected towards another, to realize and take responsibility for the fact that we were expecting another to do something that they had not even decided to do for themselves in the first place, but that existed as a hope – therefore when we get to see ‘the proof’ where those expectations are not being met and seeing that ‘another has not in fact been that/done that ‘for me’’ we believe that we have the right to hate them. Really?

 

No, there’s no right to it because we can’t ever change another and hatred means only venting out emotional reactions as all the negative experiences that were held at the same time by their polarity points of all the positive experiences that we had projected and expected others to be or create for us… so who in fact is enslaving ‘who’ in these expectations?

 

This also points out how the solution to hatred is not ‘love’ either, because love as it is currently mainly understood stands as the polarity of hatred, as ‘all the good stuff’ that we haven’t questioned ourselves in the first place why is it that we have to live within a polarity of positive and negative in which we trap ourselves in good and bad experiences, while there is in fact a way to live outside of this polarity, and live life according to self-responsibility, self-honesty, common sense and self-creation.

 

The solution is to understand, write out and self-forgive all of those positive expectations we built around another/others, all the positive ideas and hope we projected upon others and so take responsibility for having allowed ourselves to expect others to change for us, to be ‘the ideal’ that we have created in our own minds, even if one wants to justify it as ‘best for all’ for the other person as well, as long as one sees oneself ‘wanting to change, save’ another, we are in fact compromising ourselves, preparing our path to face the love-hate dynamic and at the same time we don’t even realize how in this kind of relationships and expectations, we prevent the other person from truly deciding to change and live in a supportive manner for and as themselves, not for a relationship, not for a family member or a friend.

 

I’ve been in this outflow and outcome many times in my life and as much as I have wanted to justify ‘my experience’ I cannot deny self-honesty and my point of responsibility and self-creation in these positive experiences and expectations imposed towards another, therefore it is essential for me to realize that I am always the origin, cause and creation of myself as this expectation I projected towards another – same projection or expectation that I now have to bring back to myself so that I can genuinely stand as an individual that does not become dependent on another to change, does not condition our process of self-honesty based on an ideal in my  mind to fulfill by others, even if it’s ‘best’ for others, we cannot ever make that decision and live that process of change for another and that’s actually a principle that I’ve known in theory for so long, yet one can still fall for a moment in it and be blinded by the ‘good experiences’ and neglecting to look at the reality behind it, which is always there in the background, I assure you, it takes courage to recognize the truth and reality behind all the seemingly good experiences.

 

Ultimately this brings me back to seeing that it’s not about ‘others’ that we go into love or hate, but it’s always about ourselves and what we imprint as experiences, expectations, desires, wants, needs towards others and how then we trap ourselves when seeing that it didn’t come through in reality, because we cannot ever stand in the life of another to change them or to be those changes ‘for them’ either, and this is why this process is the ultimate individual self-realization, because no matter how much ‘good’ we would like to do onto others, it’s ultimately up to each one to create themselves/ourselves and I would not want it any other way really, otherwise it would be again very consequential to enslave each other based on becoming ‘each other’s crutch for change’ and expecting another to leave the crutch and stand alone, but the reality does boil down to seeing how if we are not willing to be the best version of ourselves for ourselves, individually, we cannot ever be that for another in a relationship – whether it’s family, friends, partnership, colleagues – and this world is built in relationships.

 

I’ve shared many times before how the same happens with hating presidents or politicians and how it only reveals how many ‘good expectations’ we have projected onto others, to be and act in the best way possible ‘for us’ and in that, creating this righteousness experience if they ‘dare’ to not live up to our expectations, but… who created those expectations in the first place? We did, and so we have to realize our responsibility in creating all of the outcomes that we usually Love to Blame others for, yet, we haven’t even looked at why in the first place have we allowed ourselves to polarize our relationship to things and people in this world within a positive and a negative in which we ‘bounce’ from one pole to the other…

There’s no doubt to me that there is so much to learn from our reactions and how they all always can indicate and assist us to see something that we are not wanting to face, to acknowledge and change within ourselves to begin with.

 

That’s how hate is no different to blame and dodging one’s responsibility to our creation, our expectations, our desires that we are seeking to be fulfilled ‘by others’ in our lives – definitely time to take responsibility for ourselves in its totality and as the audio says, be able to be all of that for ourselves  first instead of expecting others to be that for us.

 

Thanks for reading

 

Recommended audio-support to understand Hate and learn to Self Forgive it:

And!

 

Darla 06

 

Join us in our process of Self-Responsibility as LIFE

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485. Let’s Make Us F.O.O.L. Again!

Or how to point the finger back at ourselves in relation to loving or hating political effigies

 

This morning as I went to buy some tortillas (staple Mexican food) the man that was selling them was listening to the news talking about – yes, you guessed – Trump’s inauguration, the ‘riots and protests’ around the world and in various US cities. As the man was weighing the tortillas he said:

– May I ask you a question?

– Sure – I Said

– Do you think that Trump is crazy?

– No, he just represents in a more uncensored manner the human nature that we all have to change within ourselves

– I don’t think he’s crazy, being different doesn’t make you crazy

– No, he may step out of the usual politics, but he is there to show us back all the points that we need to change within ourselves and focus on that by ourselves.

End of our exchange. All that I’ve seen in the buildup to the US elections is a notorious division in people’s minds about Trump, as if he was meant to be loved or hated to the core. Now, I’d like to explain how I don’t wish to make this in any way a political blog, I’m here to share a perspective that precisely goes beyond the question that I’ve been asked several times already in terms of ‘What do I think of Trump?’ And I will share my perspective here.

At the beginning of his campaign, I did go into sharing one of his statements and calling it something like idiotic or in a similar way, only to then question myself as to what am I creating when praising or bashing any other person? I have walked a similar process with my ‘hatred’ towards the catholic church and another leader that I came to hold in my mind as ‘a despicable human being’ which I had to also walk my process in self-honesty to understand my hatred and realize that I am not in fact doing it ‘toward them,’ but it’s all about what I accept and allow within myself as a relationship or experience that I impose onto others parts of our reality, which is also parts of me. Since then, I’ve been breathing every time that I see this political leader – Netanyahu – giving any orders that I could usually squirm about and instead, breathe and live my self-forgiveness: he is another me, he is part of our consequence, we are all him, he’s playing a role for us to see what we’ve accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become.

This application has worked well, also whenever I would usually walk past a church or see the popes on the media and again ‘squirm’ or recoil within myself – but I can now see, walk past many churches (lots around here) and no longer re-create my own hatred-fixation that served no purpose other than wrecking my own body by becoming hateful, ignorantly so because my hate was never going to change the nature of humanity or of such institutions, only through actually committing myself to change can I do that, and that doesn’t require a single emotion or feeling.

During Trump’s campaign I saw and read how many people loathed him, hated his guts, ‘could not stand him’ but I decided to not participate in the praise or bash, but simply remain observant this time, not jumping into the bandwagon of people that either loved him to death or hated him to his death, literally. I then saw how the purpose of this media and political frenzy was to continue dividing and conquering people. As if it hasn’t been obvious enough – because I’ve been very vocal about it many, many times – this whole political set-up is once again getting people to hope for another person in a role we have created to precisely abdicate our personal responsibility, to change our lives, to be the difference, to be ‘the rebel’ in this case that goes ‘against the establishment’, and I’m definitely keeping an eye on how things develop because to me this Trump presidency can act as a catalyst to finally open full eyes to people that still have ideas of ‘a president being the real change’ and instead of praising or hating one single person to save the world or destroy it, rather for once and for all: Focus On Our Lives.

That spells out the word F.O.O.L. but that’s exactly what we become, fools when we follow the media waves, the political waves that are nothing else but following the same formula applied for thousands of years: create the illusion of choice, divide and conquer, create the idea of a savior and everyone will follow.

Why is this so? Because of our inherent human nature that we’ve created, accepted and allowed, to exist as a follower by default- not a genuine leader. Because we prefer to always abdicate responsibility and blame, instead of taking self-responsibility and assuming the consequences of our actions, regardless of the outcome. Because we like to fight for our limitations, instead of strengthening our strengths, strengthening our weaknesses and helping each other to become better humans every day.

The list can go on. This is why I said to the man this morning that Trump represents very well the human nature that we ALL have to change. Not sure if my words were heard, but that doesn’t matter, because I am aware of our tendency to ‘skip’ the realization that we are all Trump, we are all Netanyahu’s, we are all Hillary, we are all ‘the worst criminals in the history of humanity.’ Now we simply have to accept it, digest what it means and start acknowledging our responsibility to it all.

What I see very relevant to do is to remind ourselves is to grow out of the old, to let go of focusing so much on ‘mainstream politics’ and focus on the politics of the self, of the nature of who we are and have become to acknowledge the very same patterns ‘out there’ in the shape of our politicians and recognize that very same nature of ‘them’ existing within ourselves.

Here, I also look beyond borders. I discuss Trump even if I am a ‘Mexican’ and even if I am ‘supposed to be offended’ or supposed to be ‘hating Trump’ based on how Trump has discussed Mexicans and Mexico in his agenda. I stand clear, I am beyond a label and instead stand as a human being that can discern in common sense what is best for all and what is not. Therefore I can only take the person for the words they say and the actions they live to see how congruent they are, how much of what it is promised or spoken of becomes a reality and how much is simply part of the usual show, and from there see what are the creations and consequences of such actions. Therefore if someone would like to believe I should condemn his words or actions, I remain clear in my stance and will test out where it gets me: I cannot ‘bash’ or judge, I can only propose and create solutions that I can start living within myself and in my sphere of influence. That’s then stepping out of the ‘battle’ loop and into self-creation.

Whichever the outcomes are, I cannot judge him or anyone for that matter, no one ‘president’ will ever change anything, we all have to do that change within and by ourselves, each one of us and stand beyond the need for these fictional constructions as dinosaurs of the past, of a master-slave relationship that definitely has to crumble for the fallacy it always has been. So my perspective is that Trump’s presidency along with various ‘radical’ movements around the world can create a catalyst to for once and for all dismantle the deception that the notion of government as ‘authority’ represents. We will be giving a possibly very tumultuous and chaotic step beyond our limitations – as they say: growing pains and we as humanity definitely have to break down all illusions, shatter everything that does not stand within the principles of equality and what’s best for all – and so focus on the reality that we CAN create one by one, in living principles, without the need of a ‘master’ to guide us or save us. We have to stand in self-leadership.

I had refrained myself from talking about these topics – yet again – to me it felt like repeating myself for the 1000th time, but I’ll say it until these words are etched in our being: we are all equal and one, we all are living beings with the potential to be the best that we can in each of our contexts and positioning, we are the ones that can decide for ourselves whether we are part of the creation of the new or remain stuck in the divide and conquer left-right, blue-red, white-black paradigms of separation, of human descent of the past.

I wrote to someone in an email yesterday: let’s make the world great again, starting with ourselves! Because that’s the ultimate reality: the mirrors (me-errors) of political institutions, of ‘leaders’ and these structures of ‘power’ need to be dissolved within our minds first of all, no matter if they still remain ‘in place’ in our societies for another 100 years: we decide what we give power to in our minds, we decide whether we want to be part of the problem (old politics paradigm, black vs. white, red vs. blue, left vs. right, rich vs. poor) or do we decide to give one step beyond what is presented as ‘the ways of the world’ and stop focusing on all of that, to instead focus on ourselves, creating the lives and living the principles that are best for all.

So, what’s my stance? I choose to not judge Trump or any other political leader that a lot of people seem to get a kick out of mocking. Mocking is mocking, hatred is hatred no matter how we may want to justify it or believe such experience within us towards others is ‘well deserved.’ No, it’s not, because it’s not about ‘them’ but always about ourselves in what we accept and allow as words and experiences Within ourselves.

My personal process thus far has been of being an observer this time, not taking sides in pro or anti but simply taking the man as another me, another human being and as I practice applying on everything: investigating all things and keeping what’s best – which is a far more supportive approach than the bashing that seems to go to the left and right of the spectrum at least in the country I live in, and based on what’s going on in social media, the divide and conquer is running ‘as expected’ because WE all have participated in generating such polarity, while forgetting that’s the way we get trumped, we get conquered.

Consider seeing Trump as our reflection, as our greatest teacher as any other human being can be no matter ‘who’ they are or ‘what their position is’, he only gets the attention based on his hierarchical position, but you can surely do the same reflection with every single person in your life and around you, to see how we are judging them or generating any contempt towards them to instead ask: what are ‘they’ revealing about ourselves and how can I make sure I no longer create this inner-conflict and separation ‘towards that person’ by deciding to align my relationship to those aspects/parts of that person that I have reacted to, and instead see directly where am I living out the exact same patterns that I criticize in others. That’s one simple step into self-honesty.

Will many be willing to do this? After all of these years, I bet few will dare to because we still prefer to keep ourselves in a good light as a ‘good person’ and not question our own problems, our conflicts and admit that such contempt, hatred or antagonism toward anything in this world is in fact revealing something about ourselves that we are in conflict about and have not understood as who we have become yet.

I challenge everyone that holds dear the ‘right to protest’ to question what ‘protesting is’ and if it is in fact an honorable way to develop oneself as a self-responsible human being, one that is willing to acknowledge manifested consequences and stand as a living example of correcting those same problems within ourselves first, rather than looking outside to seek culprits and blame, which is by far and based on my personal research, a very ingrained pattern that is overlooked as an actual self-dishonesty based on the righteousness it is held by, which is nothing else but an ego experience.

That’s why I’ve been so keen to write about the actual nature of ourselves as human beings as a key point to admit to ourselves if we are to Ever in fact stand our ground to acknowledge and live our potential. We cannot grow the best and the new unless we realize the crookedness that exists in all of us – no one’s saved from this – and to learn to understand and work with the flaws, the conflicts, the problems, the destructive nature we’ve become in order to no longer judge it or judge others for it – hint, stopping using some supposed ‘authority figures’ as human piñatas – and instead, take that judgment back to ourselves to see who are we really in fueling those emotional experiences within us.

I saw videos of protests and in stability I simply acknowledge that it will still take time for humanity to outgrow the reactive, tantrum-nature that we haven’t matured from just yet… some of us are slowly but surely standing up from it, so it’s up to us to ensure that the new generations can stand in a much more independent and self-responsible individuality that is at the same time contained within the consideration of the whole as one and equal. Living principles are the key, considering what’s best for ALL in fact (not just those that we see as ‘our country’ or ‘our race’ or whichever other delusional frontier/limitation we create in our minds) is a living principle to practice in a plethora of ways.

These are all steps to go unraveling the illusion of separation, which at the same time reveals to us the potential of ourselves as creators. So, time to focus on self-creation through self-investigation, self-honesty, developing Humbleness to embrace even those we’ve labeled as ‘the worst of the worst’ as parts of ourselves as well that reveal ‘where we are’ as humanity, so we cannot just go and develop ourselves to be these wonderful beings and ‘forget about the world.’ It’s about communal ‘awakening’ for a lack of better word, but it’s not about seeking justice or hope for some other ‘king of fools’ to do the job, it’s about self-responsible living creation that we are all capable of directing in our lives.

Let’s do it and stop participating in the divide and conquer, thank you.

 

Check out this (still) very relevant video

Know Your Candidate: Trump and Hillary Revealed

 

 Point the finger back to self

 

Learn how to stand as your own authority:


460. American Pastoral: My Reflection

I recently watched the movie ‘American Pastoral’ and I can say it became a very interesting reflection to myself and my past in the role of a teenage daughter within a family. In fact, I wanted to catch this movie in the theatres because I watched the trailer and saw the plot related to a ‘typical American family’ that sees the only child  – female – involved in extremist political groups that started shaping her character to a point of becoming a terrorist.

There were moments of her ‘early stages’ of rebellion at home that reminded me so much of myself, like how this girl is screaming at the television news and calling them ‘fuckers’ and just becoming insta-angry at what’s being said on TV. Yep, been there, done that many times, creating a constant battle with the point of ‘having the TV on’ and the news themselves, getting pissed and worried about everything that was happening, blaming the corporations, the politicians the ‘unaware people’ etc. – as I’ve written many times in these blogs already.

But this is not the only point, in the whole history I was able to see the extremes of what happens when there’s a child within a family where the parents are the epitome of ‘perfection’ as in ‘model individuals’ according to the usual social standards – the father being the popular American football player in school that becomes successful in his business/life, marrying a lady that had been a beauty queen and essentially having all the ingredients to be the ‘perfect family.’ Yet, their child from a very early age starts to react to that, desiring the opposite of what her parents consider to be a mark of success and tradition. She starts doing the opposite like affiliating herself with ‘political groups’ that want to essentially disrupt any sense of ‘American Dream’ or ‘normalcy’ at that time – 1960’s, 1970’s in America – starts talking about being anti war, anti capitalism and being constantly pissed off at the world, at the system and at her parents for being ‘so perfect.’

I could relate to that so much based on how I was back then. I didn’t take it that far into becoming an extremist, but I very well know I could have gone into some sort of extremes to antagonize – and that’s the keyword here – whatever is considered as ‘normal’ or ‘mainstream’ or ‘moral’ to any society. My way of challenging this was through the way I behaved, talked, dressed, my preferences, my relationship preferences, the ways in which I had ‘fun’ all of what I built as myself was precisely a way to ‘unconsciously’ rebel and set myself aside from the rest of my family, a way to make myself the ‘black sheep’ and ‘show them’ that I wasn’t going to be like them, which means I was existing in judgment of them, their ways/behaviors, preferences, traditions and the rest of ‘who they are’ in an attempt to ‘change them,’ to ‘make others care’, to ‘have them open their eyes!’– wrong way of course! But I thought that was the way back then.

Here, I know that many might have gone through something similar to this in their teenage years, which is kind of common at some point in everyone’s life, though here the key is looking at creating a healthy balance between awareness and ignorance, between considering ‘the world out there’ and one’s own life and doings.  Therefore I share this so as to not follow through the ways of the people in the movie where they start reprimanding and preventing the girl from having contact with others, only causing the inevitability of her running away from home – but instead, be able to understand that phase of ‘awakening’ of sorts that many teenagers might go through and so, making it that phase where parents can be understanding and considerate of that phase, not jumping into antagonizing it or fearing it or attempting to curb it with ‘locking them up’ either – in a school or their room or ‘away from home’, but creating a space of comprehension of what this desire to ‘show the bad and the ugly’ of the world and being interested in acknowledging it in fact means, which is also why as parents one would have to first and foremost have already gone through that phase of also developing some introspection to be willing to face and see all those things that we usually hide away from in the idea of ‘ignorance is bliss’.

 

american pastoral

 

In the movie the daughter becomes that embodiment of ‘becoming aware of all the things that the parents were oblivious of’ or simply not caring much about – yet she took it to an extreme in order to make a statement, in order to ‘rebel’ against the status-quo. Yet she would eventually find out that becoming an ‘extremist’ is not the way forward and it gets to a situation where it compromises her own health and stability for the sake of ‘caring for the world or others’ and turning it into a religion, which is what happened to her.

But without going into the movie itself so much, bringing it back to myself I could see how I could have gone into certain extremes in my life in some similar ways as Merry in the movie, and I am so thankful that I found the Desteni message relatively early on in my life to prevent myself from going further down the rabbit hole and till this day, still walk my process of ‘stopping antagonizing’ the world, stopping my anger and sadness in relation to all things that we usually go blissfully unaware of, realizing that becoming emotional and a ‘fighter’ myself against everyone is not the way, will not show to people an answer but only will endorse fighting and blaming endlessly, which is pointless, absolutely pointless to the objective of learning self-responsibility and actually doing something about it to stand as that solution we usually only get ‘pissed’ about others not doing so for themselves or ‘the world.’

Here then I can stand as proof that no matter how much one gets angry/pissed at ‘the world’ or attempts to do certain extreme ways to ‘get people’s attention’ it one won’t actually change anything, it won’t get a message through either, one won’t actually in fact contribute to anything but only enhance the usual ‘war mentality’ when we go ‘fighting against everything that we define is wrong!’ and becoming of a belligerent nature that is ‘non-stopping’ for all the wrong reasons. I can see myself in that diligence and belligerence that Merry – the daughter – had in so many ways, but I’ve learned to redirect that diligence to my own self-support, to supporting others to learn how to also stand and live by principles that we can absolutely then prove to ourselves and show to ourselves what it means to ‘be the solution’ in this world, instead of going fighting and blaming and even inflicting damage upon others in order to ‘make a statement.’

It’s really silly how the protesting nature exists in us which has its origins in our tantrums as children and making it a point to ‘possess’ ourselves with anger and create a whole drama to get what we want – well at least that’s what happened in my case and even if I didn’t get what I wanted, I developed a relationship to anger from a very early age and later on suppressed it in so many ways, only to later on have to re-open it through this process of knowing myself, taking responsibility for my mind, my body, my everyday living and this thus becoming a point that I have been walking for some years now in order to Stop the fight within myself and ‘towards others in the world’ – but instead understand my reactions, decide to stop them in the realization that: my anger, my rage won’t do anything in this world of substantial change, it doesn’t nurture anything, it only feeds the war mentality.

So I instead self-forgive these emotional experiences as the ‘habitual me’ I had become, and direct myself to focus on my own self-creation which practically means going changing, aligning, redirecting every bit of myself that may want to ‘slip through the cracks’ into the old patterns of ‘blame’ and ‘anger’, then I make it a point to rather change that which I judge ‘outside’ in the inside of myself, learning to live words that are supportive and dedicating my life to do this with myself and those that I come to interact and support on a daily basis.

This then prevents any ‘extremist’ behavior, this then prevents ‘terrorists’ as well, this then prevents sects, cults and religious extremism where people get so diligent and belligerent with a set of beliefs that they are willing to ‘walk over others’ – harm, abuse, discriminate, hate – in order to ‘make a point’ that stands in a morality point of what’s good or bad, missing out the equality equation: what’s best for all, what’s the common sense solution, what’s our common/one and equal responsibility for what exists in this world, what’s humbleness in considering others?

And these set of principles and questions above has assisted me a lot whenever my ‘belligerent and extremist mindset’ wants to pop out, fueled with some righteousness which usually becomes a way to justify our anger or hatred, which is once again only self-interest, only believing it will ‘make a point’ but it doesn’t, it only alienates people, it only makes us walking ‘angry fits’ that show no solution at all.

Instead  I’ve found and proven that actually developing humbleness, consideration, embracing others as myself is a much more self-challenging process because then I don’t pose myself as ‘superior’ and ‘more aware’ than others believing ‘I know what’s right and wrong’ –  but instead have to challenge myself to find ways to talk to any person, about any topic, understand ‘where they are’ in their life/process of awareness and recognize that the best way to assist anything or anyone in this world, is by first focusing on changing me, stopping my belligerent nature and instead becoming an embracing one, one that understands what ‘living as equals’ in fact means, and this is then the process here which has actually supportive results that emerge as ripples here and there, without me even having to ‘push’ for it, because we simply become the ‘living words,’ we just are being the living examples and that’s as far as we can go when it comes to ‘changing the world’ really, doing so with one’s words, thoughts and deeds in every  moment that we are alive… but wanting to change ‘others’ and ‘fighting them’ is definitely not the way at all.

So, I suggest checking out this movie also for parents because the relationship between them and toward the child is quite an interesting one, if anything one that can leave aspects to learn how to prevent to the extremes in the story, and rather focusing on channeling/redirecting a teenager’s ‘awakening’ into one of self-creation and self-support  

Enjoy 🙂

 

American Pastoral Merry

 

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428. How to Stop the Despair about the World?

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There are times when what one is doing toward any form of change doesn’t seem to be enough at all, in fact it can even be perceived as counterproductive or judged by others as useless or harmful. I’ve faced patterns of general ‘alienation’ in relation to seeing a genuine way in which one can create an effect for others as well, but I guess that the point missed is that in focusing too much on ‘doing it out there’ the ‘in here’ is left out of the picture, and what I mean by ‘in here’ is seeing where I am not supporting myself to the point of being the normal stable support for myself and so for others.

What happens is that I started focusing too much ‘out there’ only and being taken aback by the reality of many that are genuinely suffering. We know this world is in dire straits, it is our creation and consequence therefore, we cannot really ‘do much’ about it alone – we have to stand together in a similar stance and perspective to get to fine tune the solutions for the reality we have all co-created. Sometimes witnessing all the suffering in various bits and places and through news, documentaries, personal stories etc. make you want to simply drop everything and just cry like a baby for hours end. I experienced this recently as I had done before, and seeing others going through the same only reminds me that we can never really bring any ‘change’ with more sadness, suffering or emotional outbursts: that certainly does nothing. If anything these experiences are not meant to be judged either, but rather using them as a time to introspect what kind of situations one has allowed to be ‘piled up’ and accumulated to the point where one simply explodes when something apparently ‘bigger’ triggers it all. I’ve noticed I’ve been sighing a lot, as if there was some extra effort in doing things as well, even though I keep at everything, sometimes there’s a perceived ‘loss of meaning to doing things.’

Why would I lose a ‘meaning’ on it? Well because the focus was too ‘outwardly’ shifted instead of first ensuring I can be supporting myself, having clarity on who I am, what I stand for and as such with such inner-stability be able to direct myself in such clarity in my usual doings. The thing is that, when one allows oneself to be affected too much by what’s going on outside, one then becomes part of the drama that takes you down misery lane and it’s kind of hard to get out of it as one keeps repeating the images, the information that created the experience of hopelessness, powerlessness in the first place. First point is to not become a victim of information only and creating an experience about it, but rather understand that we become part of the pile of junk if we keep ourselves in the same gloomy self experience Guiño

 

I know this is a common point for many, specifically those that can conceive themselves as being ‘over sensitive’ about things, which doesn’t mean ‘you care more’ but simply one actually allows oneself to take what’s on the outside and ‘process it’ or ‘digest it’ as something that becomes an internal emotional experience. The world doesn’t need more sufferers, more depressed people or people that have no hope even in their own lives: world needs individuals that can see, understand the problem, that can recognize the responsibility we hold to it and from there seek to join forces with others on the same track so as to create an actual network of solutions and support, THAT is what the world needs. “God hates a coward” is the title of a song, lol,  I’d say Life hates a coward and if one is not truly willing to Stand up for Life and do all that it takes, then one becomes part of the problem, part of the ‘giving up’ ones of which the death realm is filled with, I bet.

 

 

Watch our Hangouts related to this topic!

 

 

 

Times like these are also cool to see where am I giving into other pleasures or plain laziness, where do I refuse to keep expanding myself, where have I become stagnant in my own self support and development? Am I doing enough for myself or do I then make of the world the reason for my own confusion, alienation and general ‘loss of meaning’ in everything which is another way to sugar coat a plain lack of insight and seeing direct as to what it is that I need to put my motivation back on.

 

I’ve been there many times before and it is also true that these hardly engrained patterns that I cultivated for many years won’t be wiped out overnight, it is a continuous process over years until they are no more at all, and more so to learn how to stand up from them every time, to keep doing what one has to do and keep going even if it ‘feels’ like feeding a dead horse… it’s about diligence and consistency and also as Nick Cave says: keep on pushing the sky away, to not wish to be dead and so ‘out of the mess of this world’ and going into extreme anger or apathy or general despair because all of these are only experiences, they too shall pass = they can be worked on an overcome them as we created them.

I would mostly suggest to flag point for myself whenever these experiences come up and instead of going down the memory lane of suffering and why the world is miserable, see directly: what am I resisting to do? Where am I procrastinating my change of ‘experience’ toward something in particular? If I am fed up with the state of the world, then I don’t have to make it my own ‘fedupness’ toward my own life and anything that I do in it. Again, takes some courage to see directly, and the faster the better otherwise one single ‘fall’ if not looked at for some time, can make one feel like one is dragging one’s dead body around, even while trying to act/be normal: we always know when there’s something ‘going on’ within us, and if it’s not health-related then we must know that there is something ‘up there’ that I still want to hold on to and justify one’s experience with.

In past week I came to the conclusion that there can be no real happiness in this world unless we eradicate all fear, all suffering, all hatred, all anger, all abuse in this world – no matter if you have the ‘perfect life’ with the necessary money and giving yourself some treats here and there, it is meaningless, it is shallow, it is pointless because as long as I know there is people that haven’t been ‘fortunate’ enough to have what I have, my ‘happiness’ is a self-interested experience. So, realizing this doesn’t make your life more cheerful or gleeful either, but it grounds you to see what one is focusing on/paying attention to and what one plans to do with one’s life altogether.

From my perspective, as I’ve said it many times, I will do and be with that which is the most supportive for life on Earth, no matter how ‘futile’ it might seem, how questionable sharing something in the vast sea of the internet and endless roads of information can be: I choose to contribute to the growth and support of everyone else that is willing to do the same for themselves than being part of the endless queues that want to desert out of life, which they too would have to be understood as a consequential outflow of all of us not having done enough to give everyone a decent reason to live. I decide to do this for myself and so for any other person that can benefit from it.

 

So, a clear decision is always a lifetime decision – there can be fogs at times and that is ok, it is a momentary reassessment that can take a few days, but eventually it is really so that No One can ‘pull you out of it’ unless You Decide to Walk Out of it Yourself. It is a Doing, not a Thinking.

Let’s keep walking.

 

iPad Wallpaper Template

PS. Artwork and photograph not by me

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402. Who am I within Abuse?

I’ve been looking at the word abuse for quite some time now and how we are so used on ‘calling out abuse’ but never really understanding the process as SELF-abuse at all times.

Why do I keep coming back to this topic/word or aspect of ourselves? It seems to be a point within me that I’ve explored only through reading books, using images to depict the consequences that I believe/believed we deserve for abusing ourselves, each other and the planet and how the most shocking revelations within my life came to be within the realization of every single point of abuse being in fact my own expression as well – how? through the understanding of the mind-mechanics, the processes that take place in my mind toward myself, my physical body every time that I participate in thinking, becoming emotional and essentially as we know the usual functioning of our body which also requires energy to exist. The sheer relationship of Energy and how it is created implies a process of friction in order to be created. You can imagine the creation of fire by rubbing to sticks which is essentially creating friction so that the sparks can ignite the dry wood into fire. This is a rather elementary explanation, but this is to understand how it is that the creation of energy in itself is not a self-supportive process – once you burn the twigs or wood, you consume it, it transforms into ashes. Well, the same happens with ourselves and our bodies with all the energy we create every time we participate in the mind through emotions/feelings or thoughts that are also charged with an experience in them. Essentially we create our internal ‘oil spills’ in our body, even when one can get angry for calling out abuse so, this is how it is rather necessary to understand this process of SELF-Abuse before even being willing to ‘call out on abuse’

 

Facing the Evil of OUrselves

 

 

Energy is also the motive, the driving force in our outside world and we’ve even created a structure, a belief system to represent it, it is the monetary system that we’ve used to essentially control and define power, and as such we have enslaved us through making it only available to those that work hard for it – apparently – or those that can give themselves the right to print it by their divine hand. Is that abuse? Well yes first of all because we’re using trees to create such ‘money’ but also because it is meant to precisely limit the access to our living resources. It is thus why we are so bound to it, we live in constant fear of survival and that’s for sure another way of abusing each other through this structural violence we have created as our current world system where either you work and/or cheat or die.

Isn’t that the sheer definition of abuse? Yes, it is and we collectively participate in this religion, where we have collectively decided that ‘some’ must have all the control over it, while the rest live a life of misery, struggle and suffering to get that paper that some can simply print or put in as numbers in a bank account…. Yes, you as I can breathe after saying/reading this as one can see the level of abuse that is accepted and allowed yet legitimized as ‘how things operate’ apparently, with no ‘change’ being made possible.

 

Now, what I’ve found throughout this process to be a challenge is to not create separation towards those that I’ve defined as abusive, even though one can find out and see the evidence of such abuse and can even witness with one’s own eyes – ‘they’ the ‘abusers’ are also myself. This is a humbling experience, maybe one that initially I would not want to fully embrace as it’s become such an ingrained thing to just ‘point fingers at another’ and blame them for what they’ve done, to be disgusted at ‘them’ but there is really no ‘them’ here – ‘they’ are also myself, yet at the same time each one will be individually accountable for what each one has accepted and allowed and how such point of abuse affected the totality of what is here.The shame, the guilt, the regret, the damnation upon myself and everyone else that stemmed from that moment I’ve rather turned it into a test for my stability, an opening, an awareness to get to know of and investigate any other form of abuse that I had previously neglected as part of myself as well.

 

We do it to ourselves

 

Seems we haven’t gotten sufficient consequences already in our world and reality because we haven’t changed much even with major threats of even our own extermination if we continue to live in these abusive ways.

So far, investigating the abuse, the evil, the abject of our reality is rather  of empowering too as a point where we no longer fear ourselves, our real nature but instead can – for a lack of a better expression – embrace it, understand it and within such understanding, finally be able to self-forgive it, finally be able to let go of any reaction that may emerge when taking a look at our ‘dark side’ which we’ve only feared looking at without realizing that that’s where the actual ‘truth’ of ourselves resides in, and not a truth to remain as it is and simply ‘embrace it’ as a form of acceptance – no, not at all, but as a necessary realization that will and is causing unbearable shocks and pain in this world. Maybe it is necessary to have this shock be profound or else, we will forget it all over again as we’ve done generation after generation, coming into this world and fitting ourselves into the vilest forms of coexistence while painting it with flowers and seeing it as ‘normal’ just because that is what we see and hear all around us as the way to survive, ‘the way things are’ and have believed we’ll ‘always be,’ which I am here to ensure it does not remain as such ‘status quo.’

 

Whenever I witness something that is shocking, something that I have considered to be too cruel, too vile, too sad to be truth as part of our ‘human nature,’ I tend to see it as a separate expression from myself, as if it was only ‘someone else’s twisted deeds, without realizing that it is actually part of who and what we have become as the very nature of ourselves being that of evil, as the reverse of life. Now, I understand this might sound rather pessimistic to our usual deep desires to not have to face the side of ourselves that we tend to occult/hide with positivity and ‘good thoughts’ –  but it isn’t pessimistic at all, it’s who we are and have become –  one only has to look at the actual nature of one’s thoughts to understand then the ‘nature of the system’ and our ‘human nature’ that we’ve justified and excused for far too long.

abuse
1    use to bad effect or for a bad purpose.
2    treat with cruelty or violence. Ø assault sexually.
3    address in an insulting and offensive way.

1    the improper use of something.
2    cruel and violent treatment. Ø sexual assault.
3    insulting and offensive language.

 

I could define abuse as plain evil, the reverse of life, as in acting in a way that one can understand is not honoring and respecting something or someone, doing deliberate harm in order to get some form of personal gain – this is the nature that exists within each other’s mind and we haven’t yet been fully able to admit it and take responsibility for it. The sole ability to live the word abuse in our very own thinking patterns, behaviors and relationships with one another certainly creates the general atmosphere that we all breathe in and out of, it’s what we create as our reality of disregard, self-interest, greed, wanting more, wanting to abuse another to have some more, be better and superior than, be the king of it all, do the least effort, being the winner, the master, the god…

 

God won't save the queen now

 

 

Can I imagine a world without abuse?

It’s hard to conceive because we haven’t ever actually ‘lived’ without abusing, and that makes us ponder how much of ourselves would change if we had such ‘human abusive nature’ be transformed into the principle and consideration of what is best for all. However before jumping into such ‘utopia’ that it may appear to be, I’d rather keep disclosing what I’ve realized when watching certain movies or series where abuse is rather notorious.

 

When watching bits of The Act of Killing for a second time, I realized that what I was witnessing is in fact what has existed as our sole human nature since the beginning of our time and that Anwar – the main ‘character’ of the documentary – is in fact each one of us. We can’t remember our several lifetimes we’ve been here before, doing the same, repeating the same mistakes, committing the same abuse and then coming back and believing we have never done anything wrong and believing that there can be actual innocent individuals within this, whereas I can only conceive why we are here on Earth as a result of us being the ones that have actually abused for eons on time and are here to learn a very tough lesson: to face ourselves, our nature, our – probably – irremediable consequences up until the last drop of water dries up.

 

In my experience, I could see before how any form of abuse outraged me, however I thought myself to be a pristine righteous good and ‘noble’ individual until I started deconstructing myself and was able to see my own ‘evil’ as the reverse of life and how my ‘good intentions’ were tainted with self interest all over. If anything, I am interested in getting to know more about all the ‘dark side’ of our human psyche that we’ve hid from one another as that is where the actual crème of our human nature resides in. This means being able to confront that which I many times simply deliberately avoided looking at or getting to know of.

 

My first attendance to a protest was in 2006 where our governor was accused of being a pederast upon a recording that made national or maybe even international news and so, we the ‘indignados’ marched around the city hall asking him to quit – which he never did and I can only remember how even if I was already old enough to understand what being a pederast means, I could still not fathom why could that be something ‘attractive’ or exciting to an adult. Another point is the feminicide, the Muertas de Juárez, the ladies that were kidnapped/disappeared, killed and dropped around in the city like disposable objects after being used for rather unusual purposes. I once was at a conference wherein the reality of the nature of these killings was explained and I was shocked to the core of how authorities seemed to be implicated in these crimes and that’s why no one dared to speak up – that’s the first time I realized that I had been truly living a lie when it comes to ‘authorities’ and it was closer than I thought. There were mentions of satanic rituals and sadist masochism evidence on the women’s bodies,  which has now become part of our ‘pop culture’ with books like 50 shades of gray and completely mellowing the actual core of the abuse to transform it into an ‘exciting’ new way to spark up your sex life. Well, who has heard about the muertas of Juarez being part of these ritual abuses based on the evidence on the girls’ corpses? Not many, we fear being quieted down by authorities, and so we keep quiet. And within this: would blowing the whistle on this change the entire crime networks that exist around the world related to pedophiles, pornography, snuff films, satanic rituals and secret societies? Becoming aware of something is a starting point, but in the end the actual change to prevent it will have to exist at an individual level taking responsibility for such abuses. If anything we are becoming more aware of what is possible in our world and it’s also fascinating to see that this is hitting ‘mainstream’ with series like True Detective.

My perspective of why we are so drawn and fascinated by the ‘occult’ which means that which is hidden or obscured from seeing the broad daylight is because we actually fear looking at it, and so the experience of fear is what we turn into some form of attraction which then becomes part of our morbidity to all deviances and rather ‘morbid fascinations’ as I call them, in which we also try to ‘push the boundaries’ of what is socially acceptable which is sometimes done in an attempt to ‘break the spell’ of the usual happy-go-lucky mentality that is peddled around in order to sell, buy, consume, repeat and be ignorantly happy.

 

I’m still a bit intrigued as to how a show like True Detective made it into mainstream. It apparently ends in a ‘good way’ but it only scratches the dirt of a nail of the actual problem. It does, however, make more evident what is already part of our mainstream without being fully aware of it, such as the symbolism, the ‘lifestyles’ that we have come to see as ‘part of our culture’ and no longer any form of ‘conspiracy theory,’ but it is instead a way to make evident the decay of our human nature – maybe we have to hit the rock bottom so that once we get to be aware of and understand the vilest forms of existence that we’ve become, we can start pondering how the hell we allowed ourselves to go down the spiral without awareness of the actual consequences which are measurable in, for example,  kids today learning that being bad is rather cool, isn’t it? Being vile is the new trend, being a rebel, opposing the laws and ‘doing as you will’ which is the ultimate statement of disregard of the principle that in fact governs us all: oneness and equality, which is at the moment rather far from us waking up to realize the kind of crimes we’ve been committing against life on a daily basis, every single time we are not even aware of how we are actually and literally one and equal, part of the whole.

 

Girl Interrupted by Ultra Violence

 

In our minds we have concocted our inner most twisted fantasies that we have defended as ‘our own will’ whereas in the absolute realm of the whole there is no such thing as individual will, but only the creation of personal delusions in the name of excitement, of the illusion of power, of control, of rejoicing in believing one has some form of ‘control’ or can ‘possess’ something or someone.

I also see the necessity to unveil even the most scary, cruel, filthy, shaming stories of what we have become as human beings in order to look beyond our threshold o fears and understand what it is that happens when we allow our minds to run rampant and ‘get away with murder’ in a literal manner.

As I was mentioning, witnessing our real human nature even in fiction stories implies there’s part of us being depicted of course, as it is created in another human’s mind – so, nothing is really ‘detached’ from ourselves and as such even when we ‘thank god’ that ‘I am NOT THAT criminal, that abuser, that person in power committing heinous crimes against life’ – let’s ‘think’ again and rather realize it is ourselves doing it all along, we just like to pretend we are not, so that we can feel ‘less bad’ about ourselves. But as long as we hold on to an idea of perfection and looking at all the marvelous things we can be and become Without investigating the actuality, the real nature, the nitty gritty and not so pretty nature that exists within ourselves: nothing will in fact genuinely change.

I see the unveiling, the ‘apocalypse’ as the process we are going through right now, more and more evident and  ‘seeping through the cracks’ in our daily lives as it is now everywhere: in mass media, music, our behaviors, trends, habits everything that is being pushed as part of a larger agenda that is equally lost in its aim, not realizing that any person in a current perceived ‘position of power’ is none other than part of the chess game that was laid out long before even the notion of the ‘elites’ on Earth existed. This is our masterpiece, the world-system on this Earth, the end result of our wildest fantasies, dreams and fascinations and one can only look at how we are genuinely trashing ourselves, the world and our very own bodies every time that we give into the hypnotic state of  wanting to ‘feel good,’ wanting to ‘feel happy’ and ignore reality, a reality that I am certain if I could hear it in fact would be screaming in agony and pondering why the hell we are so bubbled-up that we cannot actually SEE every single form of abuse that we create within and without ourselves as our very own nature and in turn how nature itself operates as a reflection of such mechanism of abuse too, our own conditioning.

In this, I can only point out the role of the ‘younger’ detectives in True Detective –the ones that were interrogating Rustin Cohle -as the ones that try to mislead from getting to know the most vile nature of our reality, trying to make of ritualistic abuse and other forms of human nastiness as some kind of ‘sick joke’ or a thing for ‘conspiracy theorists and loonies,’ however, it is about time this is known so that the major well-kept masks in this world can fall, but not only those of the people in ‘greater powers’ and institutions, but of ourselves, to finally be able to confront and accept the fact that the ‘abusers’ are not ‘out there’ but inside of us, each one of us and so be able to integrate some humbleness to understand how it is that we have pointed fingers outside of ourselves and created ‘fiction’ stories to be able to swallow the truth in a less ‘offensive’ or ‘embarrassing’ way, because we are still too scared to realize our responsibility for it all.

 

God Bless the Child

 

It can also start by pondering when we get excited upon witnessing violence – which does happen/still exist – such as people that like to witness bulls being bullied/harassed/abused and killed in what is called the ‘fiesta brava’ or bullfights. The same with how in pedophile circles the participants rejoice seeing a baby or a kid being sexually abused. The same with the ‘excitement’ that sexual abuse creates in the abuser, or killing/murdering others, or setting off a bomb… this is what exists today and yes it is mostly linked to the idea of ‘power’ and having some well concocted reasons to justify it. I mean, how more blind do we have to be to not see and realize this?

So, this is not something to be feared or denied about ourselves as human beings, it is about understanding that even the most vile and atrocious nature of ourselves exists as a potential within each one of us, the same way that the most common sensical and benevolent potential exists within each one of us too and so, being rather willing to face our True Nature to begin self-forgiving it and redirecting it and so be self-directive within our minds, our ‘human nature’ as to stop all forms of self-abuse – which is to be understood and realized as the abuse upon myself or others, all equally affected.

 

 

Self Forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel disgust, anger and also sadness when getting to know the extent of abuse that we can impose onto another that we haven’t recognized as ourselves and so doing so within the ignorance of who we all are as equals and how any point of abuse upon ‘another’ is in fact toward oneself.

I realize that my reactions to abuse create further abuse and as such, I have to be able to witness, get to know and realize the abuse we have created without giving into powerlessness, sadness, anger or even wanting to blame others for such abuse as reactions won’t ever solve the problem. I only can solve the problem first by stopping my own emotional experience, and then seeing who am I and where am I existing in relation to that problem myself.

I commit myself to then see what it would take for me to contribute to stopping such abuse and if it is ‘outside of my hands’ at the moment, I then focus on rather informing myself, becoming aware of how we have created such problem/point of abuse as well as supporting others to become aware of it so that through creating this awareness, we can altogether look at solutions that we can all implement – for example – through politics which implies the power of many joining toward the same outcome as one person alone cannot be ‘the one point of change’ only but it is through joining forces that we can certainly stand up and correct any point of abuse within ourselves first and then without.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience disbelief when it comes to realizing what I’ve become as a human being, the extent of disregard, neglect, harm, abuse, the additive search for power and control even if it goes against the majority of the living beings in this world.

I realize instead that this is the very mechanism in which we have come to exist and function as individuals and as such, there is no way to escape the reality and the facts, and wishing that things could be different because even if things could suddenly seem ‘better,’ I would still have to see if such ‘change’ is in fact self-change or just a new positive façade so as to not worry about the actual source and core of the problem which is always existent within ourselves, as the very nature of who we have become as our own minds, as the separation of self.

 

I commit myself to be able to see things that happen in my world without creating an experience about it, without becoming emotional about it as that’s where I see one loses ground and becomes part of the problem – therefore I direct myself to understand the situation, the cause, the problem and investigate within myself how I have contributed to this, how I am equally responsible and as such simply commit myself to do my part to stop such point of abuse even at the thought level.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see abuse in separation of myself, as if it was only some ‘powerful ones’ imposing it toward us/everyone else, instead of realizing myself as them as well doing all of that harm and abuse and existing as a fellow human being which I would have also hated back in an attempt to deny who I am in relation to them too, which is being also them, being one and equal to ‘them’ who I have defined as ‘being evil/bad/wrong’ in separation of myself as a denial of what exists here as myself.

I realize that denying or judging or reacting to a point of information, to someone else’s actions and words will do nothing for me to create a substantial change but that real change implies I stop, I ensure I do not react to this so that I am able to look at this point in full presence and stability so as to see the ‘full picture’ that’s entailed in any point of abuse for example, to see the ‘greater picture’ to not get fixated on a particular set of beings/people/actions but understand abuse from the greater context as who we are and have become generally.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within realizing this wanting to become defensive and distrustful toward others and go back to existing in the ‘fear toward the evil of humanity’ as some ingrained pattern I had walked through before. I realize that this is just me in my mind wanting to jump on to another ‘mindset’ as a false sense of security which doesn’t make sense at all.

 

Therefore I see and realize that I have to remain as breath, to be physically present and  not get caught up in memories and reactions or experiences but ensure I am seeing the point through the eyes of the physical, which means the eyes of understanding and so realizing that the chain massacre of abuse will be stopped from the moment that I decide to no longer acknowledge abuse as a point to react to in an emotional way as that would be like being separate to that which I am creating an experience of, because in recognizing everything as myself then creating an experience is like having schizophrenia really, reacting toward myself. So,

I commit myself to live the realization of being present as breath while witnessing something that I have defined as abuse, seeing information that relates to abusing ourselves which in such case I mean, If I was fully aware of everything that goes in this reality, I would constantly be crying or angry as everything that is here is existent as this point of abuse and so, it’s rather obvious that we cannot go on like this, we have to be able to rather focus on understanding to be able to prevent the problem from its root cause.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as desensitized when not reacting any longer to the various stories and mechanisms of abuse, as if I had been ‘cured’ of creating any form of freight or disgust at the same time, but I do have to be very wary of this point so as to not be repressing my experiences and not really seeing who I am in relation to the information that I come to know of, the images, the proofs and how everything fits to the outcomes of an ‘evil plot’ in which we exist as and of which we understand its sole purpose of which was to be enslaved and generate energy for someone that we accepted and allowed to upgrade into the level of a god. This is then the consequential outflow of having had no regard toward each other as equals, of having abdicated my responsibility to it all and creating polarities where winners and losers can exist, where elites and populace can exist, where money can dictate who gets abused and in which ways as well as the ‘power’ that perpetuates such inequality, such as ‘privileges’ and ‘benefits’ that are only existent for a few while the majority gets nothing but, we also have to transcend that me vs. them mentality here if we want to truly focus on change, so

I commit myself to focus on change within and as myself and no longer contrast it or compare it toward those that ‘have nothing’ or those that ‘have all the power’ but see myself as an equal participant within this all which means, no longer seeing through the eyes of the mind but acknowledging my part and so live my part that I am responsible for such as my words, thoughts, actions.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever believe that everything was ‘fine’ in this world wherein I lived in a rather narrow view and rather brainwashed perspective of our history, the stories of our origin and believing that we were meant to be and do good, without realizing that it’s actually the exact opposite what we’ve done all along and that it is only through being able to let go of this idea of goodness or benevolence and ‘evil’ at the same time that I can see facts/actions/words for what they are and imply without judgment, without segregation or creating an experience toward them.

I commit myself to focus on rather seeing HOW we came to create such point of abuse and considering it within all the points that I realize I have to take care of when it comes to aligning my life within and as the principle of considering all parts equally as myself and doing my part as well in this life which begins by taking responsibility for myself, my actions and ensuring I consider what is best for all in what I think, do and speak

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have that inherent tendency to want to have ‘nothing to do’ with abuse and not wanting to recognize myself as part of that abuse because I have judged it as wrong along with an experience that implies that ‘I am right.’

I realize that abuse is collectively accepted and allowed, as well as understanding that abuse has become the very way we live and act, and as such rather become aware of this necessary starting point to begin questioning everything that we have also deemed we were doing for the sake of being ‘benevolent’ or ‘doing good’ as I’ve also seen throughout this process that these are the most deceptive points where the actual ‘evil’ or the actual point of harm or abuse is hidden behind a positive façade so as to justify it and excuse it.

 

I commit myself to ‘embrace’ this ‘evil’ as myself not from the point of accepting and allowing it or giving continuation to it, but as a way to no longer react to it as it is in fact myself I would be reacting to, and instead focus on what I can direct within myself which is beginning with my own mind, my own life and so my participation in this world system being based on externalizing those points of self responsibility, accountability, no harm and no abuse upon others which is the principle of doing onto others as I would like to be done onto myself.

I realize as well that even the very food/water/animals/air that I breathe I’ve come to abuse as well, so within this I have to also be willing to face the abuse that goes on at even a microscopic level within the very mechanisms of how I digest my food or how I have to use water every single day and so not react to it but understand how we came to be enslaved in essence to our own abuse.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sometimes hold on to this point of acknowledging abuse as a way to also prevent me from seeing ‘how things could be if this abuse is stopped’ which I have defined as being rather ‘hard’ to imagine everyone being self-responsible and acting in the best interest of everyone, but I realize that this is the kind of pessimism I have also become so used to existing as. So

I commit myself to allow myself to realize that I cannot imagine something that I haven’t been able to live by and prove for myself, so I don’t need to imagine as much as I need to focus on myself, on being that example and that point of stopping abuse within myself and so stand as it and as a pillar of support for anyone else that also decides to become a 1+ living proof and example of what it means to live in a self-supportive and considerate manner within the principle of what is best for all as equals.

 

Supportive Material:

 

  1.  Reptilians – The Key to Life Through Evil (Part 1) – Part 111

  2. Reptilians – The Key to Life Through Evil (Part 2) – Part 112

5. Deer Human

 

Investigate who we are as a group of people committed to take responsibility and prevent further abuse in this world:

 

 

 

 


384. Word Wars: Agreeing to Disagree

 

Today I’ve got to understand another reason why we have failed as humanity to  establish supportive communication and relationships because, within us completely embodying our mind, we’ve become our own military to defend our beliefs, thoughts, perspectives and when we get into a situation wherein we conclude that ‘we can’t agree’ with others, there’s usually the right(eous) off the bat expression of ‘well, we then have to agree to disagree’ which is a rather pusillanimous way of ‘ending a conversation’ where conflict is avoided or where one has gone ‘too far’ within emotionally reacting to a disagreement in a conversation with one or more people, and that’s where we then stop the conversation, ending up with a ‘bad taste’ which is usually remaining in an emotional reaction about the argument and seeing others as ‘being wrong’ or even sometimes taking another’s words as deliberate attacks or blaming them for the kind of statements that they’ve expressed, that leads us to further judge them and see others as ‘the problem’ only.

 

In my case, I’ve noticed a tendency that exists when I communicate with others and If I see that this person or people directly oppose what I speak of as what I’ve realized is common sense, or best for all, I start judging them for ‘opposing what to me is common sense.’

For example, a situation I was in wherein I was discussing with other individuals a child being bitten by another child and how that situation can be directed. These individuals pointed out that they had taught the child to close the fist and hit/attack back as a point of self-defense. So in essence is teaching kids how to ‘hit back’ when they are hit or bullied, as if that was the solution to the problem, which I then got to understand it was actually a pattern themselves had gone through in their lives and so had taught their own children to do the same, wherein the mentality is: well my son/daughter is all that matters, doesn’t matter if the other kid (the attacker) is hurt.

I then begun explaining why this idea of hitting back and continuing the violence between children and children-parent relationships is never the solution as the cause and core of the problem is not being understood or addressed. So, these individuals were rather shocked I was saying that, completely denying and refuting what I was saying, coming up with arguments such as ‘we are bred through violence, violence is everywhere so how can you expect the world to change?’ ‘How can the child allow him/herself to be hit and not respond back? It’s only Natural to fight back! Look at history!’ as well as the ultimate ‘we won’t ever change’ and so, Marlen’s red flags went on and I noticed a bit exaltation coming through as I spoke the words on how this kind of thinking patterns and beliefs are precisely what has perpetuated our violent behavior, our spite, our retaliation, our lack of skills to communicate and instead only learn to ‘defend ourselves’ which is an euphemism to say ‘fight back’ because that’s all we believe we are capable of – and because of the rather close relationship with these individuals, I left it to the point where I ensure I made it clear why I do NOT support violence and physical abuse/hitting/spanking or even ‘biting back’ between kids when one of them is first attacked. And the situation overall in the reunion changed so we didn’t give continuation to the discussion which also included why because violence is everywhere, even in videogames and children play them, then violence won’t ever go away.

 

Now, there are Multiple points to this and I will be walking them through because it’s not only my reaction to seeing how other human beings can still think that violence is the solution – disregarding the evidence in this world where no problems are solved through violence and only further separation or personal gain ensues – but also how I tend to not take other people’s process/mind into consideration. And so this will lead me to disclose how to live the word Flexibility as it’s been something I see I haven’t lived, wherein I become quite rigid and militant-like with what I see is common sense, what I’ve walked through and come to a conclusion is best for all. See, even if it is best for all to stop the patterns and cycles of abuse of enabling physical abuse as a way to ‘teach lessons’ or ‘get back at another,’ the fact that I make it a problem in my mind because ‘people are not agreeing with me’ has to do with myself and how I still believe that ‘It’s impossible people can think such barbarian behavior is a solution!’ and within this, I sweep aside my own reaction, turning it into a ‘righteous act’ wherein I justify my behavior because ‘they are wrong!’ without taking in consideration at all how other people have lived decades on within a particular mindset that they have carried out and even “educated” their own children with, involving the retaliation and vengeance thinking and behavioral patterns of ‘If I’m attacked, I attack back,’ without ever looking at the origin of the problem and further solutions, because in the mind: we’ve never actually learned how to establish solutions.

 

Another example is how some people believe that ‘spanking children to behave is ok’ – and me reacting to once again the ‘barbaric belief!’ without  placing myself in the shoes of others and realizing that  it’s all people have ever learned when it comes to disciplining children, it’s all that has been done onto them and as such me pretending to change their mind in a 5 minute explanation  is no different to me coming to a hardcore religious person letting him/her know that god doesn’t exist and to stop believing in it.

 

So we’ve lived our history within the ‘Might Makes Right’ statement and we’ve  become such belief to the extent that we see no other way out but exerting and imposing power, applying vengeance because we have become our minds, our patterns, our history, the sins of the fathers that were also people that were not able to ‘think outside the box’ into solutions but only use the brute force to establish solutions – so, how can I ‘blame’ a few individuals for simply mirroring our entire history back in that moment where violence is seen as the only way out?

 

Is it then a solution to want to change a person’s entire mind, context, personal experience, genetics, history in 5 minutes in order to convince them why violence is not the way? Or is this something that requires to be walked point by point in order to come to the realization that it’s about time that we stop believing ‘we can’t change’ and instead share my own process of how one Can in fact change and walk them through how this is able to be done, while being flexible, patient and in full consideration of their minds, their process and context? Well, of course the latter is the way to follow through with this. So here I walk the process to recognize the problem and get to the solutions.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get angry when certain individuals contradicted myself when it comes to the principles I stand for of not participating back with violent behavior or promoting abuse in children as self-defense, wherein I reacted with the judgment of ‘I cannot believe that they are saying this, how stupid can they be?’ in my mind, without realizing that in this, I was actually already expecting them to be able to agree with me, with the principle and common sense I communicated to them and that I stand for – without taking into consideration that at the moment none of these principles are being lived in this world – and as such, I have not taken them into consideration, understanding them as the starting point of their perspective, their entire process, their life, their mind, their personal experiences, their own education as children, as parents that they also are and as such being able to see their statements  as nothing else but their mind speaking, the who they are and who we all have become as our mind – therefore

 

I realize that I took their mind, their statements, their beliefs personal because I believed in the first place that ‘they would see things differently’ without realizing that it’s actually rare that people get acquainted with any form of principles, values, common sense and considerations that are taking others into the equation as what is best for all, because as humanity we’ve always only lived through the principle of ‘what’s best for me, how can I protect me and fuck the rest’ and as such, I now see, realize and understand that their statements came from that survival mode that is actually quite prominent in our minds as humanity, and as such it is for me to rather realize that me reacting to their words is furthering the problem instead of being a stable observer that can look beyond the veil of emotions and rather see how such conversation was me facing ‘the system’ as it exist, and how vehemently the ‘who we have become as the mind’ protect and defend one’s point of view which is why I got into a reaction instead of absolutely stopping myself and immediately bringing through the consideration, the flexibility when it comes to taking others’ processes and minds into consideration and into the equation of the situation.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to later on complain about the statements these individuals had made when commenting about this with other individuals, without realizing that in such act I was continuing to blame them, to judge them as ‘ignorant’ for the kind of statements they were defending and the type of attitudes they want to still promote with other human beings –  In this I see that through only judging and getting angry at what others speak of, attack, or the beliefs that any individual can be supporting, I am not entirely seeing the opportunity that exists in order for me to first of all not take it personally and secondly, see why the reaction to this comes as the anger that I created myself upon layered judgment wherein I’ve seen ‘others’ as the problem for us to be able to change, blaming ‘humanity’ instead of taking the point back to myself. So, I see that this is an actual layer of the system that we’ve become and instead of ‘not wanting to talk more with them,’ and getting exalted about it, I can take the opportunity to slow down and direct the situation in a mutually beneficial manner, or course without wanting to convince them otherwise and now having them ‘agree with me,’ but simply being able to communicate what I see, my perspectives and so have a normal conversation of the pros and the cons wherein I don’t immediately try and impose what I see is common sense.

 

When and as I see myself getting angry, upset,  feeling certain pressure in my head/chest region as I hear another speaking words that go entirely against the principles I stand for as the end to all forms of violence – I stop and I breathe – I realize that by reacting and wanting to ‘stop talking to them’ and leave the scene, I’m only shutting down yet another opportunity for me to first of all not take it personally, not go into reaction and then be able to immediately take into consideration their mind, their process, their upbringing, the amount of time they’ve lived with such mentality and as such, be able to integrate within me a more gentle way to live flexibility and humbleness as the ability to be open and considerate of another’s mind and process, and be able to hear/listen to what others have to say, make questions to understand their beliefs further and as such, while breathing and ensuring I am and remain stable, rather share from my personal perspective and practical realizations why I don’t agree, why I don’t support any form of violence and most importantly why I see this as actually detrimental to children’s education. Then I can proceed to share how I’ve proven to myself that it IS possible to change as a human being, to establish new principles that can prevent ourselves going further down the downward spiral when it comes to lacking education, principles, values that are virtually non existent in our society nowadays.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take people’s words personally when I perceive they are directly denying, attacking or simply ignoring the principles I am speaking about, what I am communicating of, and more so when they speak over my own words  as I see that I’ve defined this as ‘attack’ without realizing that I have to take into consideration their particular ways of expression which I already know are also quite frank, direct, without ‘holding back’ which is why when I also embodied such directness along with the reaction of getting angry about what they were saying, I tensed up because we were speaking over our words, without realizing that obviously this won’t ever lead to actual communication, but only a desire to defend our views and perspectives on the subject, which is how we as human beings usually end up in fights or in the covertly ‘tolerant’ saying of ‘We agree to disagree’ which I have valued as the easiest way to avoid confrontation and remaining at a certain ‘peace’ that comes as the result of a temporary ‘war of minds.’

 

I realize that there’s no point for me to mirror another’s experience and expression in an exalted manner when they are conveying points that I can directly understand deny or oppose what I’m saying, and within this not taking it personally as in ‘they are deliberately attacking me’ because it’s actually their mind, their process, their beliefs that is up to them to further investigate their expressions and reactions. Otherwise by giving into the reactions, I become exactly what I am judging: the one that perpetuates the war of words and the war of minds leading nowhere.

 

I realize that my stance and staring point within all of this is to remain stable – and simply speak/convey about the principles I stand for, how I apply myself and the reasons why I do this and how I see it is an excuse to believe that ‘we can’t change’ as human beings, because this has been the easiest way out of actually placing the effort and discipline that we all require as human beings in order to be able to change mind patterns, behaviors, belief systems, roles, etc. that we’ve nurtured and acquired ‘by default’ from birth, without a question throughout our entire history on whether this ‘mind’ could ever be stopped, changed or corrected to benefit us all in our lives – and yes, we can.

 

I realize that it will take quite a long time for an individual to even come to the realization that for example, there are other ways to prevent violence or attacks between children beginning with the education that parents, society and the media can provide in order to begin phasing out this idea that we can only resort to violence, physical abuse and attacking back when one is attacked, without first understanding the origin and starting point of the attack, which is not an ‘out of the blue’ situation, but has a context that can be investigated and further taken into consideration for solutions, to then expose how we’ve come to believe violence to be ‘the way out’ because we have never worked with the principle of prevention, preventing the problems in the first place instead of furthering complicated ways to ‘deal with the problem.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever take it personal that people might not agree with what I’m saying – because I believe I stand for what’s best for all and within this, I have created the equation that ‘if you oppose what I say, then you stand for what is not best for everyone and as such: you are part of the problem,’ without realizing that in shifting responsibility to others as ‘the problem,’ I have not allowed myself to see why I have taken it personal, instead of considering each individual’s mind, process, context, life experiences that will still have to be walked by each one of us, individually, in order to align ourselves to principles where no longer our mind, our ego, our lives can override the principles we can stand for and live by as human beings.

 

When and as I see myself taking another’s words personal as ‘attacks,’ as ‘opposition,’ as ‘competition,’ as ‘deliberate defamation’ toward myself and the principles I stand with and as, I stop myself within that surge of anger that can be rising up from the solar plexus, I stabilize myself within breathe until I see that I am motion-less inside, stable and then apply the living word flexibility, wherein I take such individual/s mind, process, life experience, age, context, culture, upbringing, and every other aspect that I realize I require to also see as the origin and starting point of another’s words as those words come from the mind, from such programming, environment, culture, life experience and in essence the ‘nature’ of humanity that we’ve perpetuated throughout our entire history – and as such also prevent myself from always wanting people to end up agreeing with me, as this is something I cannot control nor is my duty to do either. I can only share myself as an example of the principles I share and live by.

 

I commit myself to live the word flexibility when being discussing certain points wherein I see that there’s no general ‘agreement’ of others toward what I say, to not take it personally and instead rather integrate the understanding of where those words, beliefs, perspectives are coming from as ‘who we have become as the mind’ as ‘the system’ and not just see ‘the person/the people’ that are speaking such statements as the ones to blame or be angry at, as emotions divert us from seeing the point within its full context, and  instead

I commit myself to also see, realize and understand how we as human beings have become the embodiment of the mind, the system, the preprogramming that has been consequential and detrimental to each one of us that have blindly accepted the mind as ‘who we are’ without seeing the obvious consequences of us still fighting wars and ‘agreeing to disagree’ because we haven’t been able to physically be here and look at things directly to consider what is best for all, but we’ve instead sold our own freedom to become egos in our minds where we ‘fight each other back’ and that simply doesn’t make sense, so I commit myself to stop judging others’ perspectives, thoughts and beliefs and rather take the context into consideration and rather learn from the situation than victimizing myself about it.

 

I commit myself to instead of getting angry or blaming another for ‘the kind of thoughts, beliefs’ they have, to instead remain humble as in considerate about another’s life process and mind, and simply state what I stand for and how I am available to discuss this further if they are interested in getting to know more about how I got to these conclusions, perspectives and principles that they are initially opposing – as we all know that’s a trait of the mind to defend itself at all cost– so instead, I practice ways to not be defensive, but remain open, tranquil in my communication toward others so that I don’t become part of the war-mentality or the aggression principle in order to ‘defend my point of view at all cost’ as that recreates the divide and conquer war mentality.

 

I commit myself to breathe through any immediate surge of energy that might be emerging as I see, hear or read someone contradicting the principles I stand for, and instead remain as breath to continue reading, investigating or asking questions as to gather further context to their mind, their beliefs and perspectives – I realize that we can use this further to get to know about our patterns, our old-age behavior, our embedded traits and beliefs systems so that we can pattern-them out, map them out and further support us by developing material or sharing perspectives as to how one can support oneself to stop living within such patterns after having a particular education, environment, culture, life experience, even points of abuse that are so common  and why it is most beneficial for everyone to stop participation in such patterns and rather decide to change to integrate living principles that are beneficial for everyone equally – this once again, as a voluntary process where we agree to discuss and walk through solutions.

If another is not open for solutions then I let it go. If I am not open to another’s perspective I have to investigate what am I holding onto and where am I not being flexible to consider other’s perspectives and input too.

 

I commit myself to be the point that stops furthering the ‘taking it personal’ pattern we’ve lived as humanity, and instead live and become the example of what it is to be able to observe the patterns that come through us in and as the mind in order to understand us better as the mind and as such, be able to walk the solutions and further ways in which we can begin changing the way that we hear and comprehend each other’s words and can use our relationships as points of support to learn more about ourselves, our minds and see the practical ways in which we can change the existing patterns of ‘fighting for our right to ‘be right’’ to rather learn how to establish common sense which is simply practicing how to consider what’s best for all in every thought, word and deed we express as who we are.

 

I commit myself to take self-responsibility for the words and actions I express toward others, regardless of what they might say or express as this will ensure that I remain stable and stick to principles instead of giving into the mind and losing the opportunity to rather learn from the situation and the patterns developing in the moment for further investigation. 

 

I commit myself to assist and support myself to be available and willing to assist and support those that want to know more about the principles, the perspectives of how we can change our patterns as humanity, how one can walk the process of implementing such changes at an individual level and as such be a point of support for others the same way that others have been for myself and that have enabled me to see, realize and understand this pattern in our lives as human beings, to walk from ‘fighting’ and ‘opposing’ each other to turning the point into a self-supportive aspect that we would not have been able to see if it hadn’t been opened up through communicating and sharing perspectives, so that’s another point to consider when it comes to realizing the need to share and open up topics that are usually not openly talked about, due to this inherent ‘respect’ for each other’s beliefs, which makes no sense because in the end we are all affected by each other’s beliefs and actions, so it’s best to rather see how we can establish a common ground to prevent further separation and problems and instead focus on establishing solutions within and outside of ourselves.

 

 

 

What are we doing to ourselves

 

 

To learn how to stop being only a mind that perpetuates the patterns and sins of the fathers, research:


94. In-Sin–Irate: Anger Issues

Have we stopped ourselves to consider in what way we gnaw and eat up our very physical body the moment that we participate in anger or any other emotion/ feeling experience? If we were really aware of ourselves as our human physical body, we would be aware of how the very thoughts we have consume our physicality in order to create such emotion or feeling in any given moment – we never dare to question how such ENERGETIC experiences are created, while even the name is indicating obviously: something must be consumed in order to fuel such experiences. Yet, we never looked into ourselves and only decided to accept and allowed energetic experiences as ‘who we are’ – because: ‘oh I am this that I experience in my body, I must act on it’ – and never ever questioning or even being able to fully see and realize what we are participating in the moment that we react in one single split of a second toward another in an emotion or feeling. One single shift from being here as breath and we can know: we’re mind possessed.

 

Anger

incinerate
n verb destroy (something, especially waste material) by burning

Yesterday I went out for my walk earlier than usual due to the storms that have been going on here. When I was already on my way back, I first saw this young male walking with a seemingly desperate and rather ‘uncontrollable’ dog – and I saw he had a wooden stick with him – a thick branch to be precise – and I immediately reacted to that within the realization that he would hit the dog with it, but I could not pull out the usual burning anger that I would experience before, it was just like paralyzing inside myself  in the moment and I simply started following them based on thoughts like ‘this is unacceptable/ I must do something about this/ what can I possibly do?’ I walked a bit quicker in order to be right behind him, then I saw that other three males – same age – were handling one dog each with the same behavioral characteristics: angry dogs barking at all dogs in the neighborhood, being seemingly uncontrollable – each one of the males had a similar thick branch on the other hand – I could not compute in that moment because I was only ‘making up my mind’ trying to figure out why the first dog I had seen seemed so uncontrollable and angry, having to be hit that way to behave.

 

I started deliberately walking right behind the four of them, I went into a point of possession wherein I wanted to pull out the anger that would usually drive me in the past to go and shout or even wanting to hit them – but I couldn’t. I ‘felt powerless’ but not in an emotional way, like actually having no ability to ‘pull out the anger’ I was used to experiencing in such moments/ events. I realized that it was not appropriate to go and shout at them because they were 4 males, with 4 angry dogs, with 4 thick branches and I was alone.

 

In a way within my mind, yet it didn’t even seem like thinking, I wanted to curse them to death – and I couldn’t. I could not even pull out some hatred. It was fascinating to see this unfolding, like slow camera movement where Marlen would want to just beat them to death in my mind with words or even pictures, and I couldn’t. Anyways, so as I approached them through walking behind them, I could just utter the following words in the moment – ‘Is this why you have your dog for? To hit him?’ – And obviously the young man didn’t bother at all, I was not grasping the whole picture in that moment  – and as I walked right behind the four of them I approached the second one and told him ‘Is this what you have your dog for? TO hit him? – and I managed to pull out some other words – ‘Would you want to be hit the same way you do onto him?’ and he just didn’t reply, he only made a gesture of ‘I couldn’t care less/ maybe I’d like to’ – So, there was no answer obviously. I realized it was pointless to continue doing anything about it.

 

Then I realized what they actually were as the whole picture: people that train dogs for dog fights – hence the attitude of the dogs and the males with the wooden sticks with them. It is their “job.”

 

The point here is that I wanted to be as angry as I could, I was wanting to just burst out in absolute anger toward them in that moment, and I couldn’t – and this strangely so felt like I was powerless = not moving by energy inside – however it was more of a concrete experience inside me that I could not even direct some ‘angry thoughts’ toward them.  I followed them until the corner where they went straight ahead, and I just stood there on the corner watching them and all I could think of is breathe – breathe – breathe – breathe – and so I did. After a couple of minutes of just deliberately standing there to see where they would go up to, I realized that there was no point in continuing that, so I turned to the right and followed my way back home.

 

In the past – and I’m talking about 4 years ago when I started becoming aware of the abuse in this world – I witnessed similar events and I remember becoming like a tornado inside me, filled with rage that I used as a fuel to approach the man that was dragging the dog on the street – I told this story in a video minute 3:49 – and I would react in boiling anger, ready to just torture another with my anger there, ready to shout and scream – and this time, I could not do that, even though a part of me wanted to. Another point is that I kept myself  grounded wherein, even in the moment that I approached the two males that I managed to talk to them,  I was just like a rock not really speaking in an  irate manner, even though I wanted to.

 

This is to reveal how out of habit, I would have wanted to make an entire drama out of the situation, shouting or getting myself ‘into trouble’ just for the sake of ‘making them see’ – but as I saw their reactions when I asked them the questions, I knew that I had to stop and not go any further.

 

So, the word that came up is ‘incinerate’ which sounds like in-sin-irate and how I had a moment there wherein I actually ‘wanted’ to be angry, me as the mind wanted to just bring up anger and lash out onto them and I couldn’t. Which is irrational because I knew beforehand ‘not to react’ but again looking at the event happening in front of me is more of a trigger point to face self-honesty to.

 

I was talking about this type of situations two days ago, and I myself had suggested not to intervene in such moments of witnessing abuse onto others – children, animals – as we do not know how they would react – and I was seeing with my eyes how it was 4 males, 4 dogs, wooden sticks – I really went too far to even approach them. So, to explain the point: ‘I ‘felt’ like I had to go and speak up to them however I felt like in an entire possession in that moment when I drove myself to speak to them. It was not directed by some churning inside me as in the past, but I did speak up to them.

 

I have explained before how I would deal with extensive anger toward everything and everyone – and I’ve certainly ‘slowed down’ in that, to the point wherein I cannot describe if what I did experience yesterday was anger, because I didn’t ‘feel it’ as the usual energetic experience – however, the realization here is:

 

– I cannot place myself in such situations of absolute risk just to let people know what they already know they are doing in the moment – even more so when seeing the whole picture and the reason behind such actions: dog fights = money/ business/ males getting paid to take care of the dogs = they won’t stop doing it as it is their job

 

– My reaction was based on thinking – meaning that I assessed the situation according to what I thought was ‘right’ to do in the moment, even if I was expecting myself to suddenly get absolutely and extremely angry, I couldn’t – which was a point of being grounded to realize that I could not possibly take the point further than approaching them with simple questions.

 

– I also directed myself to realize in that moment that If I witnessed the entire abuse that goes on in the world, I would have incinerated myself due to/ because of reacting to it all – we cannot possibly ‘make a change’ to a chain of events and situations wherein money is being the driving point, wherein the consideration of animals as ‘less than humans’ is a culturally ingrained fuckup for ages in humanity – I cannot stop what is currently being experienced by billions – I can only stop myself.

 

– I realize that in situations like that on the street, I had reacted in extreme anger wherein the usual desire is to just shout and flip the finger to them, as if that could ‘offend them’ or take them to a realization, without seeing that their actions are in essence already proof of what they are willing to do because of money, and how I have no context in any way whatsoever within the entire situation – but only wanting to react based on the obvious point of abuse, which is a constant point in our entire reality. Thus I see that I partake obviously in such point of abuse by simply accepting and allowing myself to exist within the current world that we are in the way it is, and not doing a thing about it – until now that we are beginning to STOP ourselves from being the very perpetuators of the same fighting/ battling eternal separation system that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to become.

 

– I realize that I cannot expose myself that way, meaning – I walk alone, I am alone and I cannot possibly confront others that are clearly more, with ‘tools’ that could be harmful as well as the dogs themselves that seemed angry as hell. This is what we have become, using dogs to fight to satisfy some human being’s desire to see dogs attacking each other to fuel some mind mechanism that is pleasured when seeing wrestling, fighting – thus who I am within it all? Seeing where and how I am fighting myself, or wanting to fight others in the name of ‘doing something right,’ without taking into consideration the actual chain of events and consequences that could ensue from this point of ‘following my mind’ in such moments.

 

– I also realized that I had been blind when I watched the movie ‘Amores Perros’ which depicts that dog-fight business here in Mexico City, I somehow managed to just ‘numb it out’ as part of some ‘movie’ as if it was not real or in some alternate reality. I see how I would see movies without taking into consideration that such events DO take place, do happen and are as real as seeing those dogs ‘going out for a walk’ and having to be hit in order to behave, due to how they have been trained by the sick twisted human mind that solaces is seeing fights and dare to even gamble upon winners. This I fuel and exist as every time I seek to win and ‘win’ something, get a positive kick out of anything that I can witness and consequently experience as an energetic movement within me.

 

Fighting

I fought myself in that moment: from wanting to react and another ‘part’ of me – the real me – remaining just like a rock, I experienced like this cement inside me where I could not even think – it’s like when you are in the bottom of a pool and  you know that you could drown yet, you cannot possibly just move up to reach for air. I am describing what I experienced in that moment which I have also experienced as a child in terms of realizing I am drowning but not being able to move – so, the experience was not the usual ‘angry mode’ but instead it maybe was petrification – yet at the same time it didn’t feel like anything.

I also realize that if I had gone out at the same time I usually do, I would not have witnessed that, which means that it doesn’t matter if I’m present or not: those dogs exist, people that train them to fight exist, they will continue whether I witness that or not – I realize that any reaction is in fact stemming from my inherent desire – that certainly has mellowed down – to point out the abuse to others, instead of even realizing how the abuse is first onto me because of having the actual desire to be angry, to ‘burst up in flames’ – which is how I see that the word incinerate makes sense: I had not ever considered the ‘who I am’ in anger, and I had never considered the detrimental effects of such energetic experience of anger on my body.

 

I have written about the memory of me as a child becoming extremely angry, to the point where I feel my entire body just having like a ‘chill’ from how much I would put myself in such anger trance, and that’s when my parents would offend me ‘You are fucking crazy!’ and just leaving me in the room,  fueling that anger even more because of them judging to what extent I would lead a single point of anger into an actual anger possession. Hearing them cursing at me for fueling my anger made me even more angry.

 

And I remember the stories my mother would say about my father, picking up fights with people just because of going past a red light or something – he used to carry these sticks on the car ‘just in case’ something would happen – I took it as normal, and they always wanted me to carry some thick cable that I could hit someone with in case they wanted to do something onto me. I always refused.

 

 

Stepping out of the anger possession

Whenever I would go out of the possession when I was a child, after spending  a long time crying and fueling that experience of anger wherein the totality of my body would go into a paralysis almost, even just now as I write it I can experience the same thing, the tickling as pins and needles on my left arm. Even as  a child, I would fear dying in such moments – my mother would say to me that my entire face could be paralyzed if I continued boiling up with such anger – and so I would fear dying, I would fear ending up with a ‘dry half face’ because of anger – and that’s when I would slow down and just cry not even because of whatever reason I have had to get angry in the first place, but because of becoming aware of how my body had suffered in that moment of anger possession. I would brace myself and feel sad/ sorry and even worse for what I had put myself through.

 

It was just like vomiting. When I was a child and I was sick and had to puke, I would keep my eyes open and cry throughout the whole thing – I would then notice that the pores of my cheeks had burst, I would feel so bad for having damaged my body that way that I always feared having to puke again. One of the reasons why I stopped drinking was when puking was ‘the way to stop the drunkenness’ and me becoming absolutely disgusted of myself for having to do that. The ‘peak point’ was when I had to puke and I cannot even remember where I did it/ or don’t want to remember. I stopped, I could not take myself any further than that – besides waking up with bumps on my head and other undisclosed bruises.

 

Self abuse – no different to becoming angry – same experience, same pain felt after the energetic possession: the body took it all and, have I ever asked forgiveness for my body for such things? No.

 

I one way I am ‘glad’ I was able to stop myself most of the times before going into absolute rage, however seeing this potential in me – which is linked to thoughts related to killing/ hitting/ deliberately harming others that I see are ‘abusing’ was never realized as me following the threat of abuse even in my own mind. I guess that’s why and how I would ‘resonate’ with a clockwork orange in a way, and the entire experience that I had yesterday I later on assessed as the similar experience that Alex had when he cold no longer be violent against others – he would get sick, I just got absolutely ‘blank’ with no ability to do anything else than that.

 

I had taken for granted these surges of anger as a child, I remember them very well yet when I was pointed out that I had a lot of anger I went into a ‘what? no way!’ denial state, without daring to look inside myself and find the real evil justified by ‘seeing evil’ in others’ which became – as I have mentioned before as well – a thinking pattern of ‘humanity is evil’ and as such, shaping, molding my entire beingness to be in a ‘military’ way, like a soldier that is ready to combat any point of attack. And this is precisely being explained in Heaven’s Journey to Life blog, specifically the link I’ll leave below, and so I have just written out the whole point with several links to the past  up until the experience at the moment.

 

One single event can become the mirror we have not dared to look ourselves into, because we knew before hand we do not want to see what is reflected on it, yet it is ourselves.

 

The physical consequences after this was pain on my left foot  because of how I had a struggle with ‘my expression’ and the physical point of it in the moment – my mind wanting to go bezerk and the other me here stability pulling myself like cement on the ground. The trick is to keep breathing at all times. Looking back at the entire situation, It was ‘cool’ to face the point from the perspective of being able to face such ingrained inner-experiences with regards to anger. However, it is plain obvious that the cause of the anger won’t be solved in one go: Animals being abused by humans is the most despicable thing that we can do along any other moment wherein we abuse ourselves in the name of reacting to such abuse as well.

 

I will continue tomorrow with the Self Forgiveness points.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become angry, petrified at the abuse of this world without realizing that participating in anger only supports my own gnawing as physical flesh and that in no way does it support LIFE

 

“Animals are driven to extinction as they DO NOT feature in the Consciousness of Humans as Equals as Life-Forms”  – Bernard Poolman *

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.For further support: Desteni Forum 

Día Nublado

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Be-Lame

“It’s all your fault!”  How many times have we been ‘impressed’ by these words and taken them personally, creating an experience that runs through our body as a mix of fear, guilt, shame, embarrassment eventually resulting in us feeling like ‘shit,’ because it is apparently ‘our fault’ and now we are the scum of the Earth because: we fucked up.

Hearing these words directed toward myself was something quite common when I was a child – I would be automatically pointed at for anything that would go wrong in my house. Sometimes I had actually been the one that caused something to break or be ‘in disorder’ because of my own negligence/ laziness, some other times it was just ‘out of habit’ that anything wrong would be then ‘my fault’ and questions would not be asked, but only fingers  would point at me; I would then try and defend myself, usually sobbing and already in that ‘victimized’ state saying ‘it wasn’t me,’ but it’s as if any form of credibility had been lost from a series of events where I had been the actual ‘cause’ which is how then one builds a certain ‘reputation’ that can work for either one’s curse throughout life or benefit. I’ve experienced it both ways – for now I’ll debunk the first one.

 

I can see myself as this pattern of being blamed for shit hitting the fan and getting this constant ‘nagging’ about things that I had to do and I wouldn’t do, being quite a ‘disorderly’ person, very lazy and with a great inertia as a resistance to not move if I didn’t have to. I was the type of person that would get from school, eat, go upstairs and plug myself to watch ( M)TV the whole time, this includes the time while I would do my homework – I would only be rather ‘responsible’ and turn it off for proper concentration when studying for exams. I never had any problems with this because I did ‘well’ in school, so my parents probably thought I was some type of lucky person for being able to be responsible and get excellent grades even when spending long hours watching TV.  I became very sedentary, only caring to be in front of the TV and getting more and more sucked into being entertained or rather ‘stimulated’ the whole time. This is just a ‘background’ perspective on how I could be quite careless within my reality which is what lead me to neglect doing tasks and having my world in order; this is how I would get constantly ‘nagged’ for not being an orderly person, not taking care of my stuff and within that,  ‘being blamed for’ things because I was the only one that was such a ‘disaster’ at home.

It is now that I realize how what others say about us might influence us in deeper ways than we are able to notice in that moment. I can see as I write about ‘being blamed’ for shit happening around in my reality, that I ended up believing myself to actually be the cause for shit happening in my world. And I am only now seeing these old memories of how much I took it all personal and how I would write/ speak to myself that ‘I wasn’t loved’ in my family and that ‘I bet they would all be happier if I wasn’t part of the family’ – these thoughts would come up within an entire attire of self-victimization experiencing sadness and belittling myself/ feeling sorry about myself.  I would usually leave the dinner table whenever I was told something along the lines of ‘you caused this shit.’ Parents and sisters would sometimes direct heavy words towards me – or each other for that matter – and I can speak for myself how I would take them deeply seriously and never considered at all that they were only speaking about themselves and only using anyone as an ‘outlet’ for their own personal problems, anger and frustration.

By ‘heavy words’ I mean offenses, cursing that would come out with great ease such as from my father’s mouth. I would only resort to cry because that’s all I knew at that time, feeling bad about what he had said about me in that moment of anger for whatever cause it was, and eventually having my mother coming up to me and explaining that he was just in a bad mood and that he really ‘didn’t mean it.’ And it was indeed just him exerting his own emotions on to anyone else, which is one of the patterns I’ve shared here before in terms of blaming others about stuff that is only a way to not face our own responsibility, which I have also played out to a great extent throughout my life.  Thus, I have realized how this was never actually ‘about me’ but about each person directing their anger on to each other. It’s very clear here how a lot of shit can fly around within the context of a ‘family’ because it is a group of beings facing each one’s programming in different shades – hence the ‘confrontation’ with oneself is more clear and direct, spiced up by the notorious different personalities that ‘mask’ the differentiation that exist at the core level of DNA.

 

When taking such words and scolding as ‘real’ and within me defining myself as being very sensitive to people’s words, I would always take it personally and within this, drown myself into a deep grudge toward the person until I realized how it all worked by me holding that memory of ‘being offended’ and link it to the person, which became quite obvious when after several days I would have to ‘recall’ that I was ‘mad at this person for having said this/ that about me.’  I would mostly then ‘forgive’ in a way that I would be able to talk to that family member/ person again.  Similar situations to the one I explained about my father also happened with my mother and sisters – within this, all I created of and for myself was a nice suit of victimization wherein my mother would sometimes point out how I was making a ‘big deal out of it,’ but I would mostly only argue for my limitations because in a way, I wanted them to ‘feel bad’ for having ‘made me feel bad’ and in that, we can see how this coming and going create endless drama, retaliation, desire for ‘vengeance’ that would turn into grudge-scabs that we would tear off from time to time to bring the memory up again and use it as a way to manipulate and have an effect on another.

This is absolutely unnecessary as we now can see – yet this becomes even at a human-culture level ‘how things work’ in the family. It has become such a cliché that we cannot conceive a family that could live in equal ways wherein there was ‘no shit flying around.’ As human beings we have accepted these ‘fucked up’ relationships in our very own house and from this, manifest this entire world as it is: a world/system of retaliation, seeking vengeance, holding grudges, calling names, wanting others to ‘feel’ what they have ‘done onto us,’ seeking ‘to be the favorite one,’ comparing ourselves to each other, finding our ‘place’ in some form/role in the family wherein we can only support our own ‘life experience’ as something real, as ‘who we are’ which is obviously not based in common sense and an actual integration as part of an entire society, but remain living within/as that survival mechanism.

We become ‘who we are’ in this nest that we call ‘home’ and from there, we accept this role and carry it as ourselves throughout or lives. We accept and allow ourselves to remain in that same shape and mold that we create mostly through our early years in this world. And it is within that very first relationship with our parents and how our parents ‘treat us’ that we will then walk through the world believing it is ‘who we are,’ simply because we had not been able to realize and understand that it was never about ‘us’ in fact,  but it was always about them creating this relationship toward ‘ourselves’ as their children which was only them playing out their own relationship toward themselves in their own mind. Fascinating stuff however, we didn’t know  about this until now.

I became aware of how it was even ‘cool’ to have and almost cherish this something I could ‘brag about’ toward my parents, it was a way of having the power to blackmail them for ever having ‘hurt me’ in such a way, which is obviously unacceptable. Yet, this type of patterns are played out by many, many human beings in their personal relationships; this is very common in marriages for example, where it becomes a dog eat dog type of relationship wherein people bring up memories and each others shit and throw it at each other without ever being able to see the harm that they are inflicting not only to themselves as a couple, but kids if they have any in such ‘family’ scenario. It is truly unacceptable, and this brings up the title of one six feet under episode: ‘Terror starts at home’ which is true as this is the first ‘entry’ we have of the world in our mind – we will accordingly walk into this world within/as the shape that we acquire within the family nucleus and often remain like that for an entire lifetime, without realizing that who really am  as life, as one and equal has nothing to do with the role I got to play as a child at home, who I am is not the character that would get easily offended or ‘hurt’ by  words that any family member  used to deprecate myself in anyway,  as now I see and realize it was never about ‘me’ but themselves all the time.

This is how it is ludicrous to continue accepting and holding this image of ourselves as ‘who we are’ because it was simply an entire personality created and shaped according to the conditions that we were born into, which as we know, are not based on ‘what’s best for all’ but only according to the rules of a fucked up system that we have accepted and allowed without any question before. Carrying ourselves as self-limited boxes of memories as ‘who we are’ and bringing up all of these reasons as to ‘why we are the way we are’ is only another excuse to not dare to step out of the victimization role and take self responsibility. It was almost ‘painful’ having to see that I had lived as a victim asking ‘why’ all the time instead of asking ‘how’ I had accepted and allowed the entire situation in life, how it is not only about ‘me’ but about walking an entire program wherein no self-awareness was existent – I mean, Self Forgiveness here is really forgiving ourselves for merely playing out roles that were solely programmed to cause conflict and separation within our lives, never being able to self-forgive because some other form of ‘intermediary’ was then created/ sought which is how God probably came into the play = another form to avoid confronting the reality that we had created between ourselves.

No matter what ‘intensity’ of it, any form of name-calling, point-finger done in absolute self-indulgence creates consequences that reverberate throughout a being’s life without it being even ‘noticeable’ by the person as it becomes just part of the self-definition that we take on because: that is all we know. This is how it is vital that as parents, human beings are able to understand how each and every single word uttered toward their kids will have a direct influence within their lives because of their receptive condition to accept what they are taught as ‘how things are.’  It is thus unacceptable to continue disregarding the fact that anyone that wants to be/ become a parent must first walk a process of self-responsibility in Self Honesty to ensure that none of our personal bs as a preprogrammed limited consciousness systems is passed on toward a child that walks into this world in such an innocent manner, wherein anything that ‘father’ or ‘mother’ says becomes ‘the law’ and ‘how things are’ without ever questioning – or even having the ability to question – why it is that we are accepting and allowing ourselves to diminish ourselves by words/ thoughts that others may utter toward ourselves?

In my experience I saw how I took on such words as ‘who I am’ and no matter how I would see myself not being ‘stupid’ or a ‘dumbass,’ I would use such memories of others  saying that to me so that I could go back to ‘feeling bad’ about myself and within this, justify my separation and general segregation from the rest of my family. That’s how I justified myself ‘not belonging to that family’ and creating this general ‘silent’ grudge toward them all because of me believing all the words they would say. As a child I sometimes got to speak about this with my mother, and she would say exactly the same, how such words were only coming from their own anger and self experience, that they weren’t about ‘me’ per se, but still I decided that the whole thing was very real and I would rather choose to be sensitive about it because I thought that my mother was only trying to ‘make it all look better’ than what it was – meaning, trying to excuse my sisters/ father or herself for the words that were said. In that moment I decided to ‘not buy it,’ instead I lived out this separation that I  justified with creating an entire personality suit that I’ve deemed as the ‘black sheep in the family,’ just walking a road that I designed in opposite direction to the one I saw my sisters were taking on, just because of not wanting to be ‘predictable’ and following their entire set of preferences and lifestyle.

This was a deliberate point of self-manipulation as well so that I would not have to actually face myself within the family system, but instead build myself a comfortable niche to be the ‘odd one’ and thus have a ‘place’ within that ‘oddity’ so to speak. Once I got to understand this, I then went into a polarity of being ‘unbreakable’ so to speak but not through an actual understanding of such beings speaking only about their own limitations, but in a form of defense mechanism wherein reactions would still come up without working with them, it was only a façade and in that, I wasn’t actually working with stopping my reactions. I didn’t know of Self Forgiveness so I simply did my best to ‘cope with the world’ without ever really looking at my reactions and how I was only shoving them away while pretending ‘nothing could hurt me now’ which is something I’ve shared before in the hard and soft veneers blog. I see that’s how I saw ‘being/ becoming an artist’ quite a cool and acceptable role within society, being ‘eccentric’ yet part of the ‘whole’ in a distinctive manner.

Now that I see, my ‘choices’ in life were then stemming from this entire personality development: from the victim, to the rebel to self-righteousness that I exerted as my career choice, the type of friends/ relationships I had, the type of life I dreamed of having, the type of music I would listen, the clothes I wear, the interests, morality, values – all of it was then specifically designed/ chosen by myself having this starting point of almost creating an unconscious retaliation toward my family/ the family system I was born into.

I had ‘seen’ this before through this process and writing this out, how I had only played out that odd-polarity that was sticking out within the family pattern – however, I had not seen how it had all begun from these early experiences of ‘being hurt’ by others’ words such as ‘being blamed for everything that went wrong’ and within this, belittling myself, wanting to just ‘leave home’ in my mind because I thought that I was not ‘loved’ there and that I was only like this undesired child that had come to interrupt their happy-family life. I mean, I am writing the thoughts as I am recalling them, I think I even wrote this out when I was quite young when I would use writings as a catalyzer to cry and feeling sorry about myself, as a con.firmation of ‘the world being a fuckup/ mean place to live in’ and within this, believing that the only way to coexist in it was through not participating in the same ‘game’ that I would see the entire family and then ‘society’ was playing out, never realizing how the personality that I developed as myself was in fact absolutely defined and created in-opposition to my family. It’s just like an atheist that is still defining himself/herself according to the Non-existence of a god – and within this obviously still confirming the existence of a god as a concept – and curiously enough – belief in itself.

So,  now we are aware of how within this system, every word that anyone may speak toward another is actually about themselves. Now, it’s not to be self-dishonest and then talk about light and love and flowers to others because of wanting  you to see yourself/ portray yourself in such a nice way, which is how a lot of people is currently ‘functioning’ at a mind level. Talking yourself into positivity is certainly Not the way to walk Self Honesty. It is about becoming aware of every judgment that we may create toward something/ someone, and instead of believing that to be ‘actually so,’ we take it back to self and see where and how we are existing as such judgment toward ourselves. This has been one of the key points I’ve learned through Desteni, wherein we take Self Responsibility for everything we do and say because we understand that we cannot ‘affect’ another but ourselves in any way, so this is how walking oneness and equality practically becomes a point that we then ‘keep in mind’ to always take a moment to ‘watch our words’ for the sake of being aware that what we think/ communicate actually support what is best for all, and not only come out as preprogrammed babble that reinforces some type of mental limitation and judgment that has no-place to be here in Self Honesty.

I am able to write about it and see it for what it is, there are no strings attached toward my parents or sisters on this topic as I now understand how this process o projecting blame and one’s frustration and anger onto others was a common thing without the ‘scolded’ one ever knowing that it was never about ‘me’/ ‘them’ but the person themselves. This is how we see things ‘for what they are’ and break the links/ chains that we tend to create the moment we link experiences and hold those experiences as ‘who we are’ without ever questioning them.

Within taking Self Responsibility for each word we think, speak and how we interact toward each others, we are able to stop all the unnecessary conflict that is created when we become just blabbering fools arguing for our own limitations and experiences without realizing that anything we say or do is revealing nothing else but who we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become.

Time to stop blaming others or being-lame ourselves for buying into words that do not support who we really are. By breaking that retaliation toward ourselves as our mind and toward others in our world, we will stop the current war we are all living in this world.


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