Tag Archives: heat of the moment

553. Impulsiveness and Slowing Down

 

Here I’ll share a bit further on a vlog I recorded about a situation that I created and participated on, and share more on how when we are caught up in an experience that is perceived as ‘positive’ and getting excited about something, that is where I see I can also easily lose track of common sense and get ‘carried away’ by the moment, and how this caused consequences for others and also myself but in a way I could not see these because of only looking at the event and situation through the eyes of ‘excitement.’

Now, the reason why it’s relevant to open it up is because in my life and process within walking with Desteni, I had focused a lot more on all the ‘negative’ or ‘emotional’ aspects in my life and so I have not focused enough in how I have also allowed myself to be ‘carried away’ through feelings such as excitement and expectation towards something in the future. I have walked the point of expectation quite recently, but now what is still there to look at is the excitement in itself and how this experience can be equally blinding in my experience as ‘anger’ would for example, and the reason why I have not questioned it as much is because of perceiving it as a ‘good thing,’ but! I have now proven that I can be completely carried away by a positive experience and not considering my thoughts, words and deeds in a common sensical and ‘cold-headed’ manner, meaning, not in the ‘heat of the moment’ which I bet we all can relate to when we are impulsive and do things because the moment is just ‘kind of here’ and everything is just ‘there’ for us to indulge into it or participate in something that sounds enjoyable, good, exciting – yet we don’t really take a moment to stabilize ourselves and look at the outflows and consequences of doing so.

Getting to know myself in this state of being is definitely a necessary process for me as well, considering how I’ve noticed at a physical level how over an extended period of time of building this apparently ‘nice experience’, my body gets drained and I feel quite affected by it after a while which proves the point of how any energy is actually consequential, no matter how we see it, perceive it or define it as either positive or negative. And here’s where I can stabilize myself in relation to moments and things I could perceive as ‘exciting’ in general, which I’ve seen is more related to how I approach the whole point or situation, because it’s not really about the ‘thing’ in itself, but how I react to it within a positive experience wherein I get too ‘caught up’ into the moment that I lose track of myself, my stability, my ground.

I’ve noticed this happening in conversations as well where as I’ve shared before, I can get ‘too intense’ and not hear what others are saying but be in this sort of high that comes almost in a stressful manner around others – especially when getting ‘in depth’ in conversations or meeting people for the first time where there’s this initial kind of jittery sensation or nervousness that I have to then stabilize myself through while I go in the conversation, which comes in the shape of deliberately focusing on breathing, taking more pauses and realizing ‘there’s no rush,’ there’s time and this has been going better with practice.

However when it comes to ‘being impulsive’ that’s the actual point to decode here where I have to make sure that while I notice I am getting excited about something – especially if it is in the context of ‘getting good news’ and having something ‘happen’ that I’ve been waiting for a long time – I have to make sure that I can stabilize and ground myself in my own two feet and think/consider things with a cold head, where I can yes be ‘excited’ about something as in realizing the possibility or certainty of something being done or happening that I am aware I can enjoy myself in, however to not make any further moves, decisions, actions within such feeling experience of excitement leading to an ‘impulsiveness’ that might generate further consequences not only for myself but for others as well.

What is funny is that to me it’s clearer why I should not make decisions while being in an emotional state, but somehow I kind of ‘threw out the window’ the realization that I also have to be careful of not making decisions while being in a ‘feeling’ state at the same time, hence the ‘impulsiveness’ that comes as a mixture of excitement, a rush and ‘heat of the moment’ to do something that I am not perfectly considering in all contexts and potential scenarios.

impulsive

n   adjective

1              acting or done without forethought.

So, if I look at it this way, this ‘forethought’ can be moment to first breathe myself back into my physical body where I am not taking for granted the experience of a ‘high’ I can be experiencing in the moment, but instead make sure I can ground myself until I am the regular stable-self I am aware I can be, where I can start looking at or ‘thinking’ about the situation with a cold head and without going into an ideal of ‘how awesome something will be’ because that’s entirely only existent in my mind based on the memories I have of similar situations in my past and that’s all the reference I am re-enacting: me experiencing certain energy within a similar context, which means it doesn’t mean that this is ‘who I will have to be’ in that context this time around, because, I’m certainly not the same as before. So this is to stabilize myself as the excitement that is emerging, which is more of a consequence of me having fed this ‘excitement’ about this event possibly taking place after a long time of me being ‘waiting for it’ to happen and yes, simply seeing it for what it is: it’s really not a big deal.

The point of acceptance and allowance of a ‘high’ with this experience is what I have to be aware and careful of because it is amazing how much I can lose sight of when being in this ‘high’ and in this sense, I can also see the potential of who I could be in those same situations if I decide to get off ‘cloud nine’ and back to physical stability.

This is the way wherein I can make sure that whatever I do and act upon is not ‘distorted’ according to this energetic high as excitement wherein I become ‘impulsive’ and not really giving a thorough consideration to who I am in those moments. Now, I also have to create an equilibrium because I’ve also been there in the past within over-analyzing things and generally then preventing myself from expressing enjoyment due to thinking that ‘enjoying’ something is ‘bad’ or ‘of energy’ only and therefore I should not indulge, when in fact enjoyment can become a directive expression in a moment, as the situation is ‘here’ and taking place, but certainly no point in doing so before it’s even ‘here.’

Here’s where the fine line must be drawn wherein I can see that one can genuinely enjoy something, and not have a ‘high’ experience as in energetic-experience within one’s body – and this enjoyment is more of a presence-fulfillment rather than this energy high where our pupils dilate and our heart beats faster and one gets jittery and nervous inside, but instead there’s like this all encompassing fulfilling experience that can be here as an expression at any moment if we decide to create it, but is not subject to something ‘detonating’ it necessarily.

At the same time here it’s also to see that certainly some events, situations or contexts we might find ourselves in can trigger these reactions, where I have to simply establish self-awareness at a physical level to ensure I am not ‘losing my ground’ or ‘losing my head’ and instead make sure that I’m here, grounded, stable and most importantly not causing a strain on my physical body because it Is almost an invariable thing that after a few hours of me participating in this ‘energy high,’ I get to feel drained and sometimes get a headache, sometimes get gastritis as well because of course no ‘energy’ is really positive, it is only a way in which we categorize it in our minds but all in all both positive and negative energies are consequential for our physical bodies and this can be understood through walking the Quantum Mind Self Awareness series.

I consider I have been processing quite a bit this impulsiveness in me and it can manifest even in a split second where I think I can do something and get into a split second of risk as well,  like crossing a street while cars are coming where I trust that I can run and save myself from being ran over but, is it really worth it to live this impulsiveness just to ‘save some few seconds’ of time to cross a street? No, and I can definitely see this split second of impulsiveness becomes an ‘over-drive’ in my body at the same time where I feel quite ‘energetic’ in a way or very ‘agile’ but the actual ‘drive’ and ‘fuel’ behind that is coming from an energetic source that ultimately has its origin in a fear, in a desire or a want at a mind level where I can lead me to do tenacious things out of ‘impulse’ and have grave consequences. So, I have to be more ‘down to earth’ in relation to this and clear-headed to not make decisions while in this ‘excitement rush’ or ‘impulsive rush’ but rather walk – both figuratively and literally – in a pace where I know I am settled and grounded and won’t try to get ahead of myself.

 

With doing this, I can prevent consequences, I can prevent outflows that I could have missed in the heat of the moment and  in rushing a situation, and that’s definitely what I want to do for myself, where no matter ‘what’ is going on even if it’s quite a cool situation I can be in, there is no high, because the experience at a mind level can feel ‘good’ but at a physical level, it sucks, it takes a toll on the physical body so here I commit myself to develop self-awareness in the midst of these ‘positive times’ and moments where I can learn to enjoy myself without going into a high and where I can remain stable and ‘cold headed’ and not lose my ground.

 Thanks for reading.

 

 Haste

 

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