Tag Archives: hell

369. Desteni: An Insider’s Report

Preamble

My name is Marlen Vargas Del Razo and I’m here to disclose the actual and proven truth about what many can call the greatest Cult and Scam that has existed in the history of the internet according to various sources that, just as any other biased piece of journalism, lack any real practical self-investigation to come up with a veritable result that could be identified as a genuine piece of scientific evidence and an integral attestable piece of information that could provide people with a clear and verifiable perspective of what this infamous group is all about.

Unlike many that may research about ‘Desteni’ and immediately click on the most controversial links that may pop up in the 352,000 results (0.22 seconds) Google search, I suggest you rather take my name written above and run a simple search with it + the word Desteni to see some of the words written and spoken, as well as the various images that have been produced since 2008 as a result of my direct participation in this group, which is an internet based community dedicated to a singular and certainly sui generis cause which is to Educate the Human Being about the reality we have only lived behind the veils of our consciousness/the mind, our so called education, culture, languages, political and economic systems and all the images that have dictated who we are, what we do, why we do it and within this, basing our lives upon lies that we have made real as the current world-reality that we are all experiencing as an every day hell – unless one has sufficient money to protect ourselves from the actual reality that the majority is living in.

I will be sharing the details of what is now a 5 year Journey I’ve walked along with many other people around the world – including the year I lived at the Desteni Farm in South Africa (2009-2010) – that have committed ourselves to the same living principle that we find is the correct thing to do in a world like ours today: to create and establish solutions to live in a way that is best for all as equals. I have written over 1000 posts available in this website as a direct result of my process of self investigation, this is without counting all the other hundreds walked in the individual and specialized process of Self Support: the Desteni I Process, as well as the thousands of posts at the Desteni Forum and individual vlogs in two accounts on YouTube (MarlenVargasDelRazo and MarlenLife) wherein I have documented my individual process from self-investigation at an individual level to the publication and exposure of world-system solutions that are intricately related to the process of self investigation, self education and interaction with people in my reality in order to generate a change that is created at an individual basis and shared with the world; all of this is published a result of the certainty that I have acquired when it comes to proving over time that this process of Self Honesty and Self Responsibility is in fact the key to create a change in this world that will be the foundation to establish a new world order based on Life in Equality.

 

 

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I was born in Puebla, México on September 1st, 1986 came out of the womb with a c-section due to having the umbilical cord around my neck which I blamed for a constant nagging sensation I had throughout my life as a constant emotional experience of suffering, fear, anxiety, uncertainty and definitively seeing the world as a danger rather than a genuine place to be able to live in. Till this day I am 26 years old and I became involved with the Desteni group when I was 21, and the day that changed my life forever was January 30th, 2008 when I watched the first Desteni video, yes one of those where Sunette Spies (Interdimensional Portal/ blond girl giving deep breaths at the beginning and end of the less than 10 minute YouTube videos) would have one of the hundreds of beings interviewed in to give some revealing message. In my particular case, it reminded me of all the other spiritualist-channelings and mediums I had witnessed throughout my life, it wasn’t ‘anything new’ apparently – yet the message that I heard in that 10 minute video was sufficient for me to leave the various books on spirituality, religions, esoteric agendas and any other philosophy to continue devouring the videos as I continued watching them one by one throughout the course of months until I had assured I had watched them all to get an actual understanding of what this whole ‘portalling’ was all about.

 

At that moment I was interested in obtaining some higher truth, some ultimate truth, some ultimate answer to all the questions I had accumulated throughout a lifetime of finding ‘no point’ in living in this world if all there exists is suffering, violence, wars, lies, corruption, deceptive governments, false relationships where we harm each other, hatred, self loathing and the list goes on and on… Therefore, the approach toward these videos that seemed to be ‘out of this world’ was to get a quick fix, a solution, seeking to find the recipe that contained all the necessary steps I had to follow to just ‘get it done’ and be somewhat healed, enlightened, all knowing, have the answers to the meaning of life in one go and get over my existential inquiries that had lead me to wait, hope and expect something grandiose knocking at my door to stop for once and for all seeking some kind of answer from a creator as to what I had to do with my life, or how to implement some kind of ‘divine plan’ on Earth –lol, little did I know that we were already living ‘his plan’ but that this god wasn’t precisely benevolent as we had been taught to believe.

 

Of course as many other human beings filled with fears and expectations on ‘things getting better somehow’ or having some alien/god/master/being from the universe coming here and saving us,  I only desired to create some kind of unity in this world while getting myself some kind of special connection with a creator, a god, an energy or whatever that could tell me that ‘my life had a meaning and a purpose’ so I could stop seeing the suffering that I could not make sense of. ‘God must have a reason for all of this to exist’ and that god/ energy/ all knowing one idea started slowly but surely fading away as I continued the research through the Desteni material and finding out that everything I had ever known, everything I had believed myself to be – including the persona that I was so eagerly building myself to be – was just another character that we have all created based on who we are told to be, the family we are brought up in, the amount of money we have, the country and culture we live in, the generations before us that left their genetic dynasty of a troubled self-experience existing in a world where survival defines our ability to live or die everyday, leaving little to no space to investigate the obvious truth in this reality: we are slaves in a preprogrammed reality wherein everything that we see as the current problems we all live in an experience on a daily basis is reflected upon the nature of the world as it is today.

 

Suddenly every single question, enigma, diatribe, existential anguish and any other form of ‘wonder’ about reality, the universe, human beings, the mind, spirituality, life after death, eternal life, god, demons, heaven, hell, the so called ‘end of the world’ were all concepts being explained in detail as the finite constructs they all represent within the greater construct/scheme and aspect of reality that we are aware of in which we’ve all been existing as: Consciousness. Within my limited understanding within that very first impression, my life was not going to get any easier from that moment on simply because of realizing that there was a lot of ‘truth’ in these ‘Desteni videos,’ yet I could not find what it is that I can do to fix it all now, or the opposite: what do they want of me and what is their genuine purpose of publishing this information and Why this was not part of the world news:

1. An Inter-dimensional Portal opened between Earth and the Dimensions in March 2006. This allowed access to Heaven/Dimensions by a human while being fully aware and visa versa allowed beings in Heaven/Dimension full access to Earth. This opened a journey that was not expected or could be imagined. This Portal was placed as the Grace of God.

· The Future of Heaven and Earth and the Universe Mar 19 2007

 

I knew that this was something I had to absolutely research in its totality before diving myself into it fully and completely. I kept myself at a safe distance from the Forum, not even reading it to not influence my own research through only watching the videos and reading the articles, not even knowing if there were people already applying this, which was something they were constantly mentioning to do in the videos. My research wasn’t complete until I had ensured I had read every single article in the Articles section of the website, including the parts that I had deemed as the most repetitive type of brainwashing I had ever read in my life, it was called Self Forgiveness and kept wondering who on Earth could have said that ME, I, the person that stood up for originality, uniqueness, ‘freedom of choice’ and all things ‘independent thinking’ would be suddenly reading the dribble of repetitive sentences that looked more like some serious kind of brainwashing and bizarre programming that I was supposed to write and read in order to get some kind of realization about it.. Initially,  I left the Self Forgiveness part for the very end of my investigation because it was certainly the part that most resembled any form of religious brainwashing – little did I know that I barely understood the word Forgiveness at all.

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First Written Record of the Desteni Investigation , 2008

 

Through reading all the articles, watching the videos on a daily basis for several hours before and after going to school – all of this while studying college in the career of Visual Arts as the Universidad Nacional Autónoma de México –  I realized that this was something that I was going to be dedicating my life to, it was quite an immediate realization that became a certainty the more I watched that ‘I wanted to work with these people, I have to meet them and be part of this’. Of course it wasn’t easy to come to these conclusions since every time that I would Think about it, it all seemed ‘too good to be true’ yet too vast and consistent in every single piece of writing and video that I tried to dissect to find any form of flaw I could point out and boast that it was just another lie, another trick to get something out of us –and yes I still understand why many people try to discredit Desteni right away, because no one on this Earth has ever before come up with such a genuine benevolent message on Earth – besides Jesus – along with a practical solution to essentially establish the best living condition that we as individual human beings can exist as in this world, without expecting something from us in return. I had been taught to always get to know what people’s intentions are and not take just the ‘good stuff’ at face value, but see what form of manipulation is given in order to get the gist of the ‘good deals’ we get in life. I kept watching and every single time, I failed to find an inconsistency in the coherence and narration of evens that even if they were absolutely out of the spectrum of my physical ability to discern whether ‘the portal’ was real or not, the congruence, the convergence of points that I had gotten to read about from various other sources made me realize that this message was precisely the kind of intention I was aiming at living for in my life: a message of unity, of peace, of genuine care for one another  – yet the word ‘life’ was still as death as I was due to having little to no reference to what ‘life in equality’ actually meant – yet every single article and video was aimed at placing the necessary blueprint for us to test out for ourselves, correlate, self investigate what was being explained in the material. Obviously this was then gaining its place of being rather unique and never before seen in our world, because here all the answers, the solutions to our lives, this world and reality were being given by this girl on YouTube with little to no further information than visiting a forum that I mostly avoided reading through to not deviate myself from simply watching the videos and reading the articles on the website.

 

One of the first things that came up was getting rid of ‘God’ and it was far easier than I thought which was through being educated about the creation of the concept – what it meant as the ultimate separation and hierarchical imposition in the minds of all humans in order to establish a world order that has existed till this day on the basis of masters and slaves – therefore it became a matter of understanding the construct itself. I certainly then knew that the meaning of my ‘journey to find god’ had rather turned into a journey to understand and get to know myself, the reality that I live in and how I was in fact a direct responsible actor for every single atrocity I had only managed to complain, get angry and blame others for in this world. I was about to get myself into a cul-de-sac called Self Honesty wherein the only way out was to actually apply these steps that were repeatedly mentioned video after video, article after article: write yourself to freedom, applying self forgiveness, develop self honesty, apply common sense, oneness and equality, stand up for life in Equality. For sure at the beginning it seemed liked a cool thing to be able to get dead people talking through this girl, but why were they all saying the same message and how come no one else in the world was talking about this? To me it was the greatest revelation to such an extent that I was ready to let go of my intensive research in all things spirituality, philosophy, my personal cult to the belief of who I am as part of this culture, the role I thought I had as ‘an artist’ in this world and essentially place my whole life on a scale to measure what it is that I in fact was and who I would be without this construction of myself as ‘Marlen’ as the persona formed by the environment I lived in plus everything else that I managed to adhere through my quest to become that special being that we all believe ourselves to be.

 

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But, why is it that I was into it from the first moment I watched it? Easy: words made sense, everything that was explained I could relate to. It was as if the hidden side of reality that we have all been ‘aware’ of at some level was finally placed into words, but oh dear god how uncanny it is to get to these ultimate truths in a mundane YouTube less-than-10-minute video, isn’t it? However, the more I watched the more I didn’t consider people being able to reject what was being said, yet only later on I realized the power of fear and the ability to dynamite any potential veil-breaking information that has the potential – if applied and lived individually – to de-enslave/ liberate an individual from the most profound forms of brainwashing that you and I have ever been remotely aware of. Our history of human development has come and gone and none of it in any way supported us to become better living species – it was true: knowledge without application was useless and as I continued consuming hours and hours of watching the Desteni videos, scribbling some ‘facts’ here and there, drawing while listening to a consistent message that made me ‘lose my mind’ and go into a 3 day breakdown where I began saying that ‘life doesn’t make any sense, oh my god who am I without my emotions, art is filled with emotions! and I am an emotional person! Everything I’ve done and been has been but a lie!’ and within this going into the fear that ‘these people must want to brainwash us for some ulterior purpose’ – and yes, oh was it true, that ulterior purpose is to step out of the preprogrammed mind design wherein I was on my straight way to hell and ready to become some kind of entheogen seeker of the divine and somehow save the world from an impending doom that I used to preach in order to justify why I didn’t want to live my life in the most responsible way…

 

If there’s any warning I can give to anyone stumbling upon Desteni is taking it easy to watch the material, obviously now there are thousands upon thousands of blogs, videos, articles, books, audio interviews recorded throughout these past 7 years that Desteni has been ‘live’ on the Internet. The whole world has been stripped from head to toe for us to finally understand who we are, what we are here for, what was our purpose on Earth, what is this world, why aren’t we happy, why do we seek god, why are we driving ourselves to our impending doom and a plethora of more questions and ponderings that we have consumed our lives with, going generation after generation filling books with what we believe ‘we know’ without having an inkling of idea about what the mind in itself is – of which I was quite an active participant of – and why is it that we seem to be devolving with all these wars, lies, corruption, discrimination, suffering, harm, hate-all of which I had noticed throughout my life had become a constant part of reality; no one could have ever seem to have an answer to this, not even the Jesuits at the school I studied which is the Instituto Oriente wherein I rather reinforced my heretic character and only liked and agreed with the one principle that made sense besides everything else they claimed Jesus said and did: equality and considering each other as living beings regardless of the amount of money we have, the last name we have, the amount of properties we have and so on, yet we were being trained to be part of the elite in society that would ‘ensure’ that we were ‘benevolent masters/ leaders’ to our employees/slaves. Of course no one could ever answer to me why was the Vatican the richest country in the world, why the pope would not give away his fortune in the name of ending the world hunger if he so would pray and hope god or some world leader could end it … and these are just but the ‘tip of the iceberg’ questions that lead me to confirm  that whatever speck of religious inclination I could have wanted to resort to in order to make sense of this world, was simply another mirage in my quest to find that ‘something’ in my life I had been longing for – apparently.

 

The truth is that I only wanted to have some ‘great place’ in this reality where I could be special and within that ‘make all my dreams come true’ which were as mundane as being famous, having some fortune, finding love in some kind of partnership/relationships, escape the corrupted country I live in and essentially live in a blissful state while pretending to worry about the ills of the world… This was the ‘me’ that I have to now be typing out for the purpose of this Desteni Witness Report, placing myself in the shoes of the discouraged person that I became when realizing that this world wasn’t getting any better, that everyone was lying, cheating and being corrupted and that all that I could do is… feel sorry about it, be depressed, be doomed and living in a constant gloom and cry about the many horrors that I had witnessed on daily basis here and no, it wasn’t war, it was worse because it’s become an ‘accepted’ form of crime against life: poverty, discrimination, inequality, greed and any other form of egotistical traits that I could see were doing harm and were a form of actual self-abuse.

So what on Earth did I come to realize about all of this and the ‘Me’ that I existed as up to the moment when I found Desteni?

Find out in the next entry…

Thanks for reading

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What you are in your mind does not prevail – wake up!-  2008

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203. The Acceptance of Heaven is the Allowance of Hell

As humanity we have walked life after life not questioning anything in our reality, learning that things are ‘how they are’ because ‘that’s how it works’ and swallowing up this chill-pill-answer which in my case, I swallowed with some discontent initially – however, because I had no physical suffering, lack of food, lack of a house, lack of family, lack of education and learned that even though I was seeing suffering on the streets, being witness to hideous acts of madness – all was apparently ‘fine’ and we could still ‘enjoy’ and ‘have fun’ and seek for our greatest excitement and monetary success,  I simply learned to turn a ‘blind eye’ and being perfectly aware of every moment that I would compare my reality to that of children my age that had to be working on the streets, knocking door by door asking for food and clothes, me only reacting with absolute powerlessness every time, feeling sorry for a few minutes – then forgetting about it and continue with my happy go round life that was possible due to Money. Because, in the end,  what one learns at home when being in a middle-class society is to always aiming ‘higher’ in the social pyramid of greed and negligence and not really bother in trying to ‘save the world/ change the world’ as I had expressed some times – all of it actually stemming from me more feeling ‘bad’ about it than really even considering at that stage me being Them as in equally being here in this world, and that the acceptance of their condition held/ sustained my own pursuit of happiness.

This is similar to the acceptance of heaven and hell and my early obsession with polarity and wondering how I could only fathom ‘staying on the good side’ of BenEVILence, doing all I could to remain always at the good eyes of that god/ spiritual all-seer that I believed in and that became- along with my reality – the constant guiding forces while growing up: the social-conditioning of focusing on ‘aiming higher’ and the spiritual context (I apparently was not raised religiously, but ‘spiritually’ lol)  of doing good/ being a good girl/ aiming to ascend to the light realms when being dead. I did not know much about ‘heaven’ or the bible – but was well aware of Hell and I knew I had to avoid it at all cost. Now, this single neglect toward Hell/ Evil/ Demons the ‘Bad’ and Dark side of reality was almost like a taboo that no one wanted to talk about, not even talking about ‘death’ which obviously, lead me to later on develop my own fascination toward all the things that had been kept ‘unknown’ to me as part of any form of Education and Family/ Society, wherein all one focuses is ‘staying on the positive side! Be Happy! Seek for your own personal improvement!’ type of reality. But still, I was not satisfied.

 

I became a news fanatic when I was probably on my early teens and this was mostly beginning to wanting to understand the financial systems because of aiming at a career in such realms initially – obviously then veering off to the total opposite within hearing everyone say how I was absolutely ‘out of my mind’ if I even think I could create a change in this world – it bummed me out and that’s how I essentially Gave UP any form of actual career that would lead me to be In the system, the core of it in the money-markets and financial deals and veered toward that which I believed was more ‘humane’ such as socials sciences, ending up in literature and arts – which till this day even after all I see hold enough opening and consideration toward that which can create a change in this world if implemented at an educational level.

 

So this is a bit of a background of how I learned to ‘turn a blind eye’ on reality, essentially quickly conforming with everything that seemed like a ‘better option’ for me to take on in my reality, which suited what I was informed I had to aim at while growing up: being a successful person like my parents, in ‘whatever’ I decided to be and become. And I accepted that constant impulse as something ‘cool’ you know? Because I was being ‘cheered up’ by my parents every time that I ‘succeeded’ in my school, yet I always never felt quite happy with it, because I would go into ‘feeling bad’ about those that were behind me and were not even able of attaining a proper mark, even if I had witnessed they tried very hard to – and so this impotence grew and grew within me, not knowing why on Earth did I have it ‘so easy’ in  my life and others were struggling – and this, was my acceptance of ‘Heaven’  as something that was meant only for a few – and denying Hell as the reality of this world, as everything that I could see and perceive as being ‘behind me/ below me’ in any form of social taxation that I became aware of while realizing that there were kids my age – 6 –7 or even less – working on the streets, asking for food, asking for coins while their mothers fed babies next to them, on the sidewalk.  I allowed myself to just pretend that it is ‘fine’ and that they are somehow having to PAY for some awful act in some past life and that’s ‘why’ they are poor/ neglected and even receiving further abuse by the authority, the level of Injustice I became aware of really ‘brought me down’ into a constant state of depression and being sad about the state of the world, only later on and even today realizing/ remind myself how this is also a state of self interest, wherein I then certainly sought to escape from this reality through the realm of imagination, pictures, inspiration, seeking ‘beauty’ in this world where there was clearly non – all as a failed attempt to redeem life in one way or another, never ever considering to what extent I had ‘signed up the contract’ to be part of the ones that wanted to ‘change the world’ outside of ourselves, feeling ‘bad’ for the unfortunate ones and essentially committing myself to want to do some ‘good’ mostly from the starting point of me not feeling guilty for having had a rather privileged lifestyle, as opposed to what I would witnessed around me.

Continuation of the Elite Character

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I had to be and become ‘successful’ just like my parents, wherein this positive attitude and positive experiences was always linked to having money in our pockets and ensuring that we became ‘good savers’ and within that, giving some charity to those that had Nothing only to ‘share what we have’ without ever really considering how the very acceptance of us being able to give to ‘unfortunate ones’ that which we could spare them, implied the acceptance and allowance of inequality in this world as ‘how the system works’ wherein instead of learning about the creation of poverty and inequality that lead to social injustice, I con.formed to only feel ‘bad’ about them and give them money fro once in a while, giving  clothes away while creating an experience of powerlessness within me about them/ the unfortunate ones, which implies how I would only feel bad about them when being in their presence – yet remaining focused on my ‘aim’ to achieve my goals in life, which was mostly linked to being a good person/ doing good to others/ caring about ‘the world’ such as the environment, pollution – I did not even consider animals that much – and essentially creating this profile of being a ‘good person’ linked to success and most importantly, linked to a reward in the afterlife.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to brush aside the fact that I did believe in a light-realm where all the dead people would go to and I was aware of the so called ‘caves of darkness’ wherein I learned that people that had, for example, been participating in wars would go to, and that I would simply have to do everything I could to avoid going there – it wasn’t called ‘hell’ but just ‘darkness’ so, I had to avoid darkness which in this world translated to avoid ending up as a ‘no one’ with no-money/ no-light in this world and within that, see all people that were with no-light/ no-money and living on the streets, being absolutely helpless as people that had probably been inherently evil in some past life and within that justifying their existence as poor people/ unfortunate ones according to that ‘law’ which I later on became aware it was called karma.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to ‘do good’ in my life not because I genuinely cared about other beings, but because ‘I’ did not want to suffer and feeling bad when looking at them and realizing that I had ‘more’ than them – essentially thus any thought or intention of ‘doing good’ was directly linked to the inherent guilt and shame that I developed when and while growing up, due to me feeling powerless to do anything about their situation and as such, always only focusing on how I would experience myself toward the ‘unfortunate ones,’ and believing that I had to redeem Myself by being a good/ careful person even though I always felt awkward while pretending to be so, yet played the act because I wanted to be seen with ‘good eyes’ by society and ultimately by whatever force I was expecting on ‘the other side’ so, I did walk a life of ‘keeping score’ of being a good person, fearing doing ‘bad things’/ fearing ‘evil people’ and only promoting a way to ‘elevate ourselves’ in social conditions and even beingness such as being more ‘enthusiastic’ about life – wanting to ‘do good’ to the ‘less fortunate ones’ yet never in fact investigating what were the causes of their current unequal stance within the system, what was the reason why they were not being helped to have a dignified living and blatantly accepted then poverty just as part of my landscape, not bothering to question about it further because of not getting straight answers about it – thus con.forming, keeping quiet, turning a blind eye and instead focusing only on my personal world and satisfaction, escalating social statuses and aiming at all times to ‘be successful’ in whatever I decided to be and become.

 

I realize that my very starting point of ‘caring for others’ has never been something natural/ genuine to me, no matter how hard I tried to believe it was. But was mostly caused by the fear of having to ‘pay’ something/ someone in the afterlife for having been a ‘bad person’ such as having a ‘good life’ and in that, neglecting others’ realities such as the unfortunate ones, wherein I then tried to ‘do my part’ by seeking to oppose the system, criticize it, judge it and essentially pointing fingers at everyone else but myself, which is how I became self-righteous about my evil  (195. The Righteousness of Evil) and took it to the extent of denying vehemently that I was an equal and one participant of everything in this world that would case suffering, death, starvation in it – it really took me a while to understand how by just the single fact of me being Here as a breathing physical being, I was equally responsible for all that which I had turned a blind eye from for a very long time and how the very position of wanting to ‘do good’/ be a good person’ to the unfortunate ones was in fact blatant self interest, seeking to stop feeling ‘bad’ about those that had no money/ no support from anyone and within that, also earning ‘points’ toward a lightish/ heavenly experience, avoiding going to the ‘caves of darkness’ that I knew simply was something to avoid.

 

This became the foundation of ‘how I functioned’ in my reality, wherein for a long time what ruled me obviously was then only looking at the positive and doing essentially what I believed was ‘proper’ in terms of seeking to give charity/ support to the ‘less fortunate ones’ once that I had attained my elitist-supreme position that I did seek after in my mind/ imagination when thinking about professions and careers that I could direct myself to, which was not up to long ago some 6 years ago wherein I aimed at becoming a ‘well known’ artist so that I could then ‘speak up and change the world!’ because I apparently never stopped wanting to ‘make a change’ but I was precisely not wanting to give up my OWN benefits in order to see how everything works in reality and how I was directly responsible for that which I was trying to ‘save’ and ‘correct’ and ‘reform’ in this reality.

 

So, I commit myself to realize and accept the fact that I have never really genuinely ‘cared’ for other beings in an absolute unconditional manner, due to me always wanting to ‘add up to my score’ of doing something good to others, instead of realizing this is a matter of principle, of Understanding reality wherein once that you Understand, See and Realize how this entire existence functions, how the world system stems from our very relationship of the mind toward the physical, how energy and substance operate, what was heaven and hell and what they represent until today within our lives, how the world system functioned with a preprogrammed life path for all beings wherein there were by design some elitist beings that became the example and role model for the masses to attempt to ‘equate’ to  – while creating poverty, starvation, the ‘ostracized’ and marginalized people that were sustaining such wealth being absolutely disregarded out of the equation of any form of satisfaction and fulfillment. And within this all, realizing that there is No excuse at all to not stand up for life, not only because of it being our absolute responsibility, but because we are it – it is not even about creating a sense of ‘duty’ within it all, it’s about self-realization of us being that whole that is currently undergoing the ‘trials and tribulations’ that are nothing but the outcome of having lived entire lives only seeking to maintain an apparent ‘well being’ at the expense of others that were deliberately quieted/ shut down or even ostracized from the system in order for the majority to seek after the ‘good life’ here and in the hereafter, which became the most well known lie to be Sould in existence, not even only in humanity.

 

Thus I commit myself to realize that the starting point of myself within this process of Self-Equality and Oneness in Self Honesty implies realizing and recognizing the fact that one was initially motivated by obtaining something ‘good’ out of this, some form of ‘reward’ for walking process, without realizing that it is not about changing the world ‘out there’ for others, but changing My world With others – which is something you can read at Heaven’s Journey To Life which clarifies to the exact T. this subtle differentiation that makes actually a big difference with regards to the approach of ‘changing the world’/ wanting to go do good’ and all the points that we must consider before even being able to consider any form of ‘change’ within ourselves/ our reality.

 

I understand that Education is the fundamental aspect to this, as I am a witness of it myself. the more I educate myself about Reality with everything that is being presented as the Investigation of  Existence and this Reality through the Eqafe interviews, I become more certain about myself, my process, my understanding and playing my own ‘devil’s advocate’ to see where the hell there exist still any form of self interest to walk this process, which obviously cannot remain at all not a single iota of ‘convenience’ can determine my every move, otherwise it will be pointed out by myself in Self Honesty in order to realize that any form of Energy-seeking desire is Self-Dishonesty and that implies going to both the ‘good’ and the ‘bad’ as poles of the same energetic fix that the mind is always seeking for.

 

I commit myself to be absolutely self honest to any point of support that I commit myself to give to myself and share with others, in order to not create a certain persona of myself, standing up for ‘something good’ but simply realizing it is a single alignment and correction of how things should have always worked/ functioned in our reality. And this is then a matter of physical principles of living conditions, not of an egotistical approach to make ourselves feel ‘more’ than what we already are here.

 

I will continue  in the following posts debunking my acceptance of an elitist character within me, wanting to ‘do good’/ be good while still holding on mainly a personal self interest about it all to become ‘more’ than myself apparently.

 

For more information and understanding of yourself visit:

Desteni

Desteni Forum

Desteni Lite Process 

Desteni I Process

Equal Money System 

 

Eyes that see

Eyes that see 2003

 

Must Watch:

Human Resources: Social Engineering In The 20th Century

 

Blogs:

 

Interviews:

MyKey is in the house again: 


2012 Fear of God

When you are a child and you are told that there is an ‘all seeing god’ that is watching you in every single moment of your petrified existence, what do you eventually grow toward such invisible policeman in the sky? Fear.

I have explained before how my belief in a God as an all seeing guy that could eventually communicate through other ‘delegates’ through mediums – and ventilate my little-secrets in front of my family- became a driving-fear within my every day living. I feared being watched all the time, I would go into a mix of fear, guilt and anxiety for doing something that I considered was ‘wrong’ in the eyes of ‘god.’ More than fear of ‘God’ itself as this omnipresent-omniscient, omnipotent, and even apparently omnidirectional ethereal being that ‘God’ was supposed to be, I feared the consequences of doing/ saying something that would make him mad/ angry at me. I eventually became watchful of my every step and thought in order to ‘not piss off God’

When looking at this point, I can see how ever since I became aware of this god-point and wanting to, in essence, ‘be liked by God’ in order to ‘get a reward back’ later on in my life for it,  I created a personality of being a ‘good girl’ that is accumulating golden coins through benevolent acts and benevolent thinking, just so that I would not have to face the point that I actually feared, which was ‘The wrath of God.’ Hell knows how I even got that idea of ‘God’ being a wrathful being if you didn’t stick to the line of being a ‘good fella.’ However, I stuck to the code and I kept track of my thoughts and actions from the starting point of fear.

 

Even at the peak of me realizing that such faith in God was plain brainwashing, I still held this idea of a greater force that could eventually come back and obliterate myself I one sneeze if I just kept doing everything that I wasn’t supposed to do – or that I would eventually be punished by having hundreds of future-lives living in misery. Fear became the driving force for me to ‘behave well’ and be a ‘good neighbor,’ just because of keeping my own score at the eyes of God.

 

Of course I would not talk about this with anyone – my belief in the afterlife and the white-light beings watching my every step was ‘My secret’ and no one was supposed to know, because apparently I was privileged and special – along with my family – to have such protection which, somehow, in the elitist realms of heaven not anyone could have access to. I mean, I would essentially mock Catholics that would go to church believing that god was in some flour-chip drenched in wine. Yet, I believed in all of these long-ass rants wherein the heaven and stars was given to us in order to keep the faithfully deceived ‘happy’ by being ‘special’ and having this super spiritual protection from the white brotherhood of God- lol. I remember some of those ‘sessions’ at my house with some of those mediums, having to hear a seemingly endless list of names of death people that had been lurking around my house,  that were apparently ‘given light’ in that moment to ascend. The sheer thought of having invisible death beings around me was something that scared me a LOT – however it was all part of the idea that such death souls were lost for a moment and had found some  “light” in our house, LOL

 

 

‘God’ as the reason to Stop Self-Abuse

How I have observed this pattern of fearing God and using God (or Baby Jesus for kids) at least here in Mexico and within the culture that I have seen around me, is using it as the perfect excuse to threaten beings to ‘have good morals’ and ‘act in the right ways.’ As I just explained to this wasn’t the type of ‘resource’ used by my parents in order for me to behave.  My mother would rather use the idea of monsters or any other ghastly creature for the same purposes, and I can say it worked the exact same way.

 

So, here specifically with poor people– which is a great majority in this country –  and people living in rural areas in México, traditions, family and religious values are the basis of their upbringing and education.  Faith and devotion form essential ingredients of their family-values wherein if the mother / father finds no way to show their children why they must behave or do something, they turn to god and use it as an excuse to do as they say:

“If you don’t do your homework, baby Jesus will start crying!”

“If you take drugs and alcohol, our holy mother will start crying”

“If you beat your wife, you will sure have to explain your deeds to our holy father once you are on your way to hell”

And so, people are easily conducted through using God – or any deity for that matter – as a point of fear in order to ‘tame’ human beings to behave well, to do as they are told and eventually become docile beings that are then considered ‘faithful’ because of how supple they have become in order to accept ‘the word of god.’

 

Within this idea of ‘God’ being an omnipotent being that decides whether you live or die, go to heaven or hell, but is also able to give you extra-powers to do stuff that you are apparently unable to do by yourself,  God/saints are used to, for example, stop/ quit a certain addiction.

In my family, people that have drunk for probably half of their life, one day – after a car accident or having someone dying in a car crash due to being drunk, or seeing someone dying of alcoholism – they decided to ‘swear to the virgin that they won’t drink again.’ And I have been amazed by how they do live and respect that ‘swearing,’ which goes hand-in-hand with the same fear that they were brought up with from childhood, wherein ‘God’ as the policeman in the head is the one thing that they respect and obey above all, even above their immediate ‘authorities’ like parents/ family members.

 

And this is not limited to only ‘rural areas’ wherein the catholic roman church holds the hegemony of people’s lives for the most part. In the streets of one of the busiest avenues in Mexico City, one can see painted virgins graffiti-style on the walls wherein messages are apparently given ‘in the name of the virgin’ in order for people – mostly males in this case – to stop drinking, to come home early after work and not take/ indulge into drugs; to keep their money for their family instead of squandering it in ‘gaming’ a.k.a. gambling, prostitutes and buying alcohol or drugs.  And you might think that such an image with those words would have no effect on people, but it actually does. This goes hand in hand with the level of cultural indoctrination wherein in a hypothetical situation, people can be fighting to death and yelling the hell at each other – but if a church, priest or virgin or anything related to their belief could suddenly emerge around them, they would simply stop, appease, maybe feel remorseful for a moment and probably even stop their confrontation.

How come we have delegated our common-sensical ability to stop for a moment to look and realize what we are accepting and allowing ourselves to be and become, only through the belief or idea in some magnificent being that is watching over our heads?

 

Why have we required a savior to exist?

 

The point is realizing how beings that take on points such as stopping addictions by ‘swearing to the virgin’ could essentially realize that they are walking a decision to stop any addiction by themselves, by their own will. However, it is as though they require this ‘God’ idea no matter what, they believe that something ‘extraordinary ‘ is giving them the necessary strength to overcome their addictions.

 

The reality is that each one could easily see that you don’t require the idea of a loving-caring invisible being in order to take on responsibility for stopping an addiction, for example. The only reason why the idea of god/ saint/ invisible force to be the mediator for you to keep your word, is because we haven’t yet allowed ourselves to trust ourselves through proving that we can actually do, say and live that which we say that we will.

 

 

‘God’ is not required to ‘keep going’ through life.

The moment that the belief in God was finally debunked within me, part of the downward spiral experience was because of realizing that I wasn’t living a life for myself, as an actual living expression and self-caring consideration. I was only living a life wherein I could accumulate a great score in order to satisfy ‘God’ and have a kickass afterlife experience that could, apparently, compensate for any bitter taste that I could have experienced while ‘being alive.’ This is how we go living our lives waiting to die, accommodating ourselves and directing ‘who we are’ based on a divine system of punishment & reward which eventually affects all our decisions in this world. And it is absolutely ludicrous to see how if there was no ‘god’ as a police-force within millions of beings, things could be even worse.

However, religion as this ‘untouchable law’ within people is nowadays becoming more ‘light’ and only remains with such ‘power’ in poor, small towns/ cities that are very traditional and still hold a blind-faith toward all-things ‘God.’ Once that money steps in the scene, things change. And proof of that is seeing how the narcos/drug dealers who are essentially poor people that get involved into dealing drugs for the good money it represents, they still hold their belief in a ‘god’ or ‘saints’ – yet what they now do is forging the image or name of the deity of their choice in their 24k gold-bathed guns that they use to give the ‘sure shot’ to someone. Somehow saints are now involved into taking care of criminals, doing the best they can to exterminate those that dare to challenge their heavenly drug-lord business.

 

Prescinding the Policeman in the Head

No matter what cult people are in – they have this authority-figure that they fear ‘letting down’ with their actions/ words and that’s how the bondage of religion is woven.

So, instead of having to submit ourselves as human beings to an idea of such god-policeman in the head, to keep it as a constant reminder of ‘why we should do onto another what we want for ourselves,’ we can simply understand that this it the way to direct ourselves in this world – and live it. Why is there the need to rely on a religion/ belief in order to ‘do well’? Is it that only through beliefs in invisible deities we are able to realize our actual potential and determination to do something, to stop a habit, to become self-responsible? No, and I have proven this for myself.

Once that all the fear of god is gone and there is no aspiration to get to a heaven, what remains is Earth, as grounded as it can be wherein you realize that everything you do, you walk according to what you see/ understand is best for yourself = best for all day by day.

 

The God concept as the policeman in the head, can be prescinded as it serves no purpose other than keeping people bound to a certain religion that is then equated as ‘that which gives them force to continue,’ without realizing that such force is not given by an almighty god, but has always actually been here as ourselves, we just were too coward and gullible to think that we required someone else to endow it to us.

 

Common sense overrides all fears – this is how we walk in this world then, fears are irrational and have no other purpose than limiting our living expression in the moment. We are witnessing how fear has become the actual source of mind control in our reality: we’ve done it to ourselves and it’s time to stop for once and for all.

 

http://www.desteni.org

Check out people’s fears and participate exposing/ sharing your fears and exposing how irrational they are #FEARWEEK

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La Furia de Dios (God’s Wrath) 2005

Vlogs:

Why having a savior is such a great idea?
Desteni – The Little Promise Left – AntiHate 2 – Face Your Fears

Euthanasia: Evacuate the body that suffers

 

Testing through words to write about – it became obvious that the points related to death, pain, suffering had to come through after realizing the death of a beloved being, yes everyone that had been at the farm enjoyed her.

I can only speak from the innumerable amounts of times that we played ball, the many times she’d come to my desk and place the gooey ball on my leg to throw it to her – it was never too far or too high for her to catch it, it never was too late at night or too early to do the same over and over again . All I’ve got is cool memories from that, but I also saw her suffering from the time she got her surgery and how she was really down and in pain – we’d take turns to baby sit her through the day – I remember not being able to cope very well with seeing her that way because she’d always be the ever-panting type of dog that’s never too tired to play ball…

 

So, a decision had to be made today, to put her to sleep because she’d had to basically go through the same process again which could eventually become a pattern – she had a process of her own definitely and some videos are still up about it if anyone wants to review them I’ll leave the links at the end.

 

Though this point opened up the Euthanasia which is something that I fully support and I told L how it is weird that we accept to do this to an animal but not to a human being – why not? because there’s a mental attachment from human beings to other human beings? I’d say the same goes towards an animal – anyways to me that type of differences make no sense in this world and preserving a human being alive just for the sake of keeping the family or the people close to the one that’s suffering ‘happy’ is sheer egoism, sheer selfishness wherein the actual experience of the human being is not being considered at all.

 

I cannot see why there are laws that cannot actually allow the person itself to decide to die, to have an ‘assisted suicide’ for the sake of ending the suffering from a terminal disease – we’ve become so infatuated with life preservation – or should I write “life” because we know we’re not yet actually living-  and within that, pondering our ‘thoughts’ and feelings/emotions and whatnot over the actual physical experience that another goes when getting to a point wherein life in the physical becomes too much to handle, becomes a drag in itself – that’s not living and all people should be able to decide when to have a dignified end to themselves in such conditions – for clarity and third eye parties: this is NOT supporting suicide, once again: this is only in cases of people going through terminal diseases and any other physical impediment that tampers the ability to live and have proper physical functioning in this world as a decision taken by themselves after having had proper psychological and medical assistance to evaluate the case – yet not forcing the point of them staying alive if it’s virtually impossible to stop a degenerative process in the body –

 

From when I was a young girl I remember my grandmother was sick and remained with various illnesses through her entire life. I had quite a relationship with her, I liked teasing her because I saw her as easy-to-be-picked-on yet it wasn’t with malice, it’ was more like a way to make her laugh and stand outside of her own pains and self-created turmoil she lived in.

I remember organizing all her meds that were lying inside a box, out of their respective boxes and so when I showed her what I had done with them and expected a ‘thank you’ she proceeded to shuffle them all again, seemed she liked her stuff all messy anyways – I don’t know why I got that memory so embedded. Anyways she’s dead, she died like 2 years ago while I wasn’t in Mexico, seems my family cared-a-lot that I wasn’t here and that I didn’t say anything about it when I was back, nor have I gone to the cemetery or anything, not interested either.

My mother probably still sees this as ‘rude’ as she sent me a message to remind me of the day that she died this year – I simply replied ‘ok’ because I have nothing else to say about it – I didn’t grieve over her dead even though this is the closes ‘death’ I’ve had in my life – though I was never really close with her either – anyways, I was actually glad that she died because she ended her life-long suffering from various diseases – yet when saying this to my family, they reacted momentarily to my words but eventually saw how it was true.

When I explained to them how people grieve over their own death and how they aren’t actually considering what the person goes through when people are wanting the person to remain alive, they understood how it’s actually selfish to preserve someone alive for the sake of the people around them.

 

Unacceptable-  yet morality fucks the points up, all religious babble that condemn these acts as well, all that which stands as a posture that isn’t considering the physical actual reality at all.

 

Lately I’ve had several people commenting on my video entitled ‘Is there Life after Death?’ in spanish – fascinating how it has pushed several buttons because everyone wants to believe there’s a heaven you go to – I only could ‘hope’ there’s a heaven for animals because they’ve been the real deal here in this world – and they are the ones that we’ve put on major suffering through our domination process on Earth – unacceptable. Though obviously not really ‘hoping’ for them to exist after death, is just one of those thoughts that I’d like to resort to in cases wherein we see animals suffer and die – I breathe and let go of it all as nothing that can die can be actually real – that’s the key here.

 

And so – we look at how evacuation comes after the word euthanasia – evacuating the body that requires to be put to rest to go back to the earth, evacuate it from the consciousness that suffers, that thinks and feels – seems to be the most eloquent and reasonable thing to do yet, we’ve got many perspectives in this world still fighting against this right.

 

I take some of the points that Bella once discussed in a pair of videos wherein people would focus too much on Euthanasia or assisted death and would create such grand debates instead of actually making sure that the same emphasis is placed on actually Assisting Life – so it’s a matter of considering Life as the cycle that must be taken into consideration from beginning to end in equal-consideration – no point must be ‘more important’ or feared or relevant – instead simply considering what’s best for the being and their experience throughout their life and support everyone the best possible way.

So yes, when Life becomes the highest value, death as an end to this life must be taken with the same care till the last moment and won’t be influenced by any type of morals or money or any other ideology that is currently deciding for being, but instead accept Death as part of the cycle that we’re in here for.

I have experienced these taboos at home and I’ve brought the points up until it becomes more ‘comfortable’ to talk about it- yet fascinating that people go into this tension to simply not have to speak about it.

Probably facing the ‘fear of death’ has come to me only through dreams. I had a very specific one wherein I gave my last breath when realizing I was  going down a cliff inside a car that had simply missed the road and that was it – I’ve also faced fear of death in some real life minor events mostly involving car accidents, one where I could’ve fried to death and that I actually shared in a blog because it was in a fucking instant that I could’ve been dead in the middle of the night – fascinating how we’re so vulnerable to dying and that’s how we simply say: live every day as if it’s the last day of your life – that means: do not fear death, it’s useless to live to die and to see death as something that is not to be spoken about, or must be ‘avoided’ at all cost.

Removing the ‘fear’ and confronting it for what it is has allowed me to be more stable here in my reality – in moments of apparent death in dreams I’ve been mostly allowing it to come as in realizing: okay this is my last breath and I go – only once did I freak out while dying in a fire… so yes, I’ve forgiven myself for that and that’s it.

I am here and I live – I walk and I don’t fear dying – that’s what my conscious mind wants to say though there’s obvious points that I haven’t faced as an actual death so, it’s one of those points wherein I simply know that I won’t be thinking about ‘going to heaven’ or ‘going to hell’ and instead welcome the death when it comes and in any form it comes as I’ll know that it’s not something ‘bad’ to happen to me, but a single basic outcome that’s inevitable the moment you’re born into this world. As simple as that.

 

So conclusion of this all:

Dignified Life = Dignified Death for ALL in Equality 

This way we don’t make death any more or less than what it is, we accept it and simply allow ourselves to let go of those that depart as it’s only part of life to accept and see death as part of this cycles we’re living as.

 

Thanks for reading.

 

The Beginning – Timeless


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