“the Education System that caters for only a select few Intellectuals that in the Teacher’s eyes are guarded as “special, important, unique, elitist, chosen” with regards to Intellect and their Future in/as the World System, with the World System again in its relationship to MONEY only cater for a minority / select few in their relationship to Money to be “special, important, unique, elitist, chosen”. And in this – the Teachers, and also not those within the World System, would ever consider standing up for an equal and one solution to ensure that All Children have an equal and one opportunity to Education, and so eventually Money; because we’re all so blinded by Hope/Promise in our Minds that one day something may/might Change, while we continue living in/as the systems of this world that is perpetuating inequality, separation and Consequence. All of which is the same that 2012, that those that define themselves as “special, important, unique, elitist, chosen”, would remain so in their Minds, in their relationship to their Hope and Promise, without ever questioning, but “what about an actual, real, tangible Equal and One Solution for all, within and as this Physical Existence”, and would not have a ‘care in the World about the Rest’…Only Themselves.” – Sunette Spies*
I will share some ingrained memories I have wherein at the moment I placed myself to review the inequality I witnessed in the schooling system, the memories that came up were those that I experienced from first grade of kindergarten to 1st grade of elementary school – three different contexts and people wherein I created the awareness of there being people that had a really tough time within school, but, I did nothing about it, I simply stared just as everyone else and accepted the fact that there was something inherently wrong within them. As Sunette explains in the quote above, I played that role of being ‘the teacher’s favorite,’ and have placed myself in the victimized position of being teased for being that, even if many others wanted my position: both poles or any ‘side’ for that matter that is not standing in equality is equally fucked, because even if you get the recognition from the adults, you get bashed by your peers. This is how it is so vital to expose how within this ‘good/bad’ student and everyone else in between create the basis of inequality within society, because one grows up believing that one is really a ‘chosen one’ to become this great thing and that there will invariably those that will have to be below you for whatever reasons – I.Q., economic standards, ethnicity, apparent lack of skills etc. And I witnessed that myself.
The points Ill share here are the moments wherein within me I went into a ‘cannot compute’ experience, simply because of probably wanting to ‘do something about it,’ but just like any other group psychology situation, I remained quiet, I accepted the outcomes without a question. One can say, well you were a little kid, but the fact that these memories are still here imply that I was in fact aware of what went on that it created an effect within me in order to create certain beliefs of people’s abilities and skills.
School system – Writing
What happens is that you become completely enthralled with this idea of success that one miss out all those ‘left behind’ that just like with ‘poor people,’ the usual belief is that it’s their fault, they are lazy, they don’t do things properly, they have certain nutritional problems and their minds can’t function properly, they just can’t ever be good enough, they are poor and their parents were poor and have no proper education – all of this is part of what I have participated as well within backchat, without ever questioning further why was this monetary inequality an aspect that could influence a person’s development in school.
The inequality witnessed in school began as early as kindergarten in my experience and first memories. At the end of first year of kindergarten, we were going through our final evaluations that consisted of identifying the colors and some other basic stuff, and one of my classmates could not learn the colors properly, he failed twice – or maybe more times probably – to differentiate them and he essentially was declared as the first kid that had ever flunked first grade of kindergarten… I was shocked and saddened for him, I could not ‘get it,’ why he could not learn the colors and would always get it wrong. I remember others making fun of it of course, I could not make fun of that, but did think there was something inherently wrong because to me it was ‘so easy’ – but then came the usual shoving the point aside as an ‘anyways!’ and accepting the fact that he was lazy with school work and he simply was inherently flawed. He was taken to another school and as such, just like anything else that ‘came to pass’ I never questioned such event ever again until now.
Next memory is third grade – kindergarten – exchange student from New York, he was taken to my school since it was a bilingual one. I can’t understand how I was able to pick up what he was saying – or maybe I made it all up since I was only 6 years old – but we got to know that his parents were getting divorced, he was like 8 years old but was placed in our grade to learn Spanish. He was in such an emotional turmoil, he’d cry in class, throw tantrums and everyone including myself would only stare at him as if he was quite the rare specimen for behaving that way in school which would distract others and essentially take the teacher’s attention to calm him down, also he would not generally be willing to participate with the rest of the activities. I ended up liking him and playing with him sometimes and found out he was ‘normal’ when not dealing with school stuff, seems he was only having a problem with authority and our grumpy teacher, who I must say was a good teacher, but extremely strict for kindergarten kids and was quite impatient, so… he suffered a lot with her. Lol he would whisper us all the answers in our English class, but obviously he did not do good in any other subject besides English, it’s as if he was in school in an attempt for someone to educate him while his parents were missing out a crucial time of his upbringing and on top of that, in a foreign country among kids that cannot understand everything you’re saying, quite an irresponsible move from everyone involved in that.
We never question how the lives of such children will be affected in their educational process at school by external situations, such as parents breaking up and only reprimand them further for not being able to ‘focus and pay attention’ instead of actually learning how to speak with them and establish a point of support throughout their experience. I do remember my teacher speaking a lot with him, I would get a sense of tension and nervousness because of not knowing what to do while witnessing the levels of instability he presented – one can say that in our current definitions of ‘mental disorders’ he would have probably been medicated, not sure even if he even was already. He was hyperactive and quite a cool kid obviously, but it’s really unacceptable how we do not have any form of consideration and regard to support people that are mostly living out a consequential outflow of some parental irresponsibility, as well as an education system that is not designed to consider the individual’s experience and provide specialized support for them.
Third memory – primary school, first grade, 7 years old. One of our classmates that I realized was from a ‘lower class’ is asked to go to the blackboard to do some basic maths. Now, this point I have to make clear, I grew up going to private schools, this is a ‘common thing’ when your parents have sufficient money to do so, just because public schools here are not providing ‘great education’ and obviously, the majority of the population is educated in them. Proof is I had one just around the corner of my house and I would go to one far away just to have the education that I got. And so, it was a well known fact that people with scarce money would go to public schools – and parents that would make a big effort to send their kids to private schools were then quite a rare thing to witness, but it was so with this kid. So, he went up to the blackboard and he simply stared at it, twitching his eyes, running in circles throughout the whole process only managing to mark lots of dots on the blackboard, but no number at all, he was quite nervous, so much that I would get nervous as well while looking at him, asking myself how come he can’t do that basic simple operation! I don’t know how or why. But I immediately associated the fact that ‘he didn’t have much money, his parents were not that well educated, hence he had learning problems.’ He had lots of problems to ‘make it,’ he only lasted one or two years within the same school, same problem: too strict, almost zero tolerance to kids fucking up which proves the point of how throughout the years we ended up being reduced to a group of 7 people and that was quite the ‘perfect’ elitist learning experience, which is what I owe to greatly my current skills.
Just to give you an idea of what happens when you work in a reduced group at school: we began looking at topics that were meant for junior high – such as algebra, trigonometry, equations, etc. in our last grade of elementary school. We were able to finish our regular curriculum long before the scheduled time and so, we would go out to museums, factories to witness production processes and other places. We then would go out to eat, watch movies and so forth, lol, it was certainly not a regular school experience, most certainly a privileged one I’d say – but I had no reference of other kid’s experience except through TV or something like that. which I later on went through as well and realized what a ‘real school experience’ was in terms of having different ‘types of people’ and everyone just getting along with certain people and still having the same fucked up hierarchical schemes of ‘good students and bad students,’ that remained a constant of course. Even in the reduced number of 7, hierarchical positions remained just because of how grading systems work.
So, we can see how the optimal point of education would be to not have a schooling experience like the one we have now, but maybe smaller groups of study that can learn the basic skills, math, language and have personalized support to develop one’s skills and interests. This learning process in an Equal Money System won’t be any longer motivated as an indoctrination process to ‘equalize people’ to a hierarchical system, but rather giving actual support to people to develop themselves.
Also in the equality system, education will begin at home with the parents, we are able to develop an equal stability that will reflect upon the child’s development in the learning process and throughout their entire lifetime. We can already see how this primordial flaws that begin at home and how the first days at school can define a person’s experience for a lifetime. It is absolutely ridiculous to accept the ‘limitations’ I have placed in this blog as ‘real problems’ or unsurpassable obstacles. Hence, we are here to definitely become aware of what we’ve become and how we have to essentially start from scratch to educate ourselves as living beings that are able to support each other to Live, because in the end, that’s what actually Matters within the Education process: stopping linking education to survival-mode skills to make the most money through competing against others, which is the enforced conditioning we currently call ‘educational process’
To come, self forgiveness, self corrective statements for having never questioned the privileged life in education I had and how within that, I inherently accepted the above mentioned ‘flaws’ and inequality while continuing my career to seek my personal interests and leaving the rest ‘behind,’ without asking any further questions.
HOPE – the Metaphysical Carrot (Part 4): DAY 240
This blog is part of the After Death Communication Series
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Continuing from 160. Pious
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define ‘good deeds’ according to ‘doing good to another’ and within this justifying my own feeling good based on what I had done onto others, instead of realizing that everything that I do ‘onto another’ is in fact done toward self as one and equal and within this, there can be no ‘positive experience’ when directing oneself to support another the same way that I would like to be supported.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to accumulate good deeds as in doing ‘positive things’ onto others from the starting point of accumulating positive-karma and a positive reputation within the system for my own benefit, in this forgiving myself for having accepted and allowed myself to brush aside and hide the actual driving-factor to do things for my own reputation/ benefit, instead of actually doing it absolutely and unconditionally for another – within this
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to be hypocritical the moment that I would not want to do something such as ‘helping someone’ but because I had to keep up my reputation of being ‘the helper/ the supporter,’ I would do it from the starting point of simply not ‘messing with my reputation,’ instead of actually being fully willing to support another as myself, which proves to what extent I would be willing to compromise myself and pretend to be ‘something’ at the eyes of others only to not ‘spoil my goodness record’ of being an actual pious person that will ‘enlighten’ those that don’t know the road to do the same themselves.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to listen to a person within wearing the ‘good person’ suit, wherein in my attempt to ‘change them,’ I would deliberately listen and waiting for the moment to erupt all the ‘negative aspects’ that I had heard them say from the puritan stance of me apparently being already ‘beyond that,’ which is part of the ‘good person’ reputation that I believed myself to be wherein I deliberately pushed aside my own experience, my own deeds, words and backchat in the moment wherein I would take such stance as there being ‘nothing wrong with me,’ and within this existing in a superiority position when supporting others as in being the ‘virtuous person that supports the impaired ones,’ which is absolutely denoting separation in all ways and part of what the masquerade of benevolence creates within oneself: “I am right, you are wrong and must be helped out”
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to use points of support toward others as ‘points for my own score’ wherein I would keep score of myself being a ‘good person’ for having helped out people during the day, without ever actually proposing for example a change within the entire way that such point of conflict for many could be approached within school so that ‘I’ would not have to take on the pride and positive experience of ‘helping others,’ and instead support the educational system to be supportive for all beings equally, within the realization that if Many have the same problem, then the flaw is within the way it is being taught, instead of the problem being the beings not understanding it.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to Invest on my own ‘good person’ character within the realization that within building this reputation from an early age, I would get ‘doors open’ more easily within the system in the future, wherein I was from an early age already looking forward to way, means and relationships that I would use in order to make a ‘good living,’ wherein I would go as far as supporting my classmates from that starting point of thinking that ‘Someday they will be in a position wherein they will be the ones that will be able to support me’ and within this, not being unconditionally supporting others as myself in the moment, but actually see it as a positive-credit investment to the future, wherein I was aiming at ‘using my credits’ at some point in the future whenever I wanted and If I would require such ‘gears’ in the system to my own benefit.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to deliberately seek to create ‘political relationships’ with people at school, which were not necessarily ‘friendship based,’ but going straight to the point of being in ‘good terms’ with everyone in order to get a positive reward in the future wherein I expected me to be supported by others due to me being ‘remembered’ as having been a ‘good person,’ which once again proves that I was in fact investing on my own positive-feedback within my participation in the school-system as a way to be recognized by others and as such, ensure that no matter what, people will remember me for ‘how good I was in everything I did, ‘ which is plain self-interest based type of actions, words and deeds at all times.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to deliberate shove aside my ‘negative backchat’ toward others in the moment of interacting with them, and immediately play out this point of ‘them probably being able to support me in the future’ and as such, immediately shift my way of communicating with them to being more affable and open and ‘charismatic,’ from the starting point or vantage point of realizing that I could ‘use their friendship/ colleagueship’ later on in life in order to support ME, so I better behave in a friendly manner in order to be liked by them.
I realize that within this way of socializing – social-lies are kept from one another in what is euphemistically called ‘political relationships,’ wherein we all knew that we were building ‘relationships’ for our future and within this know before hand that we didn’t necessarily have to ‘like’ each other or be empathetic toward one another, but only see relationships as ways to climb within the system and to support each other’s interest as a way to keep ourselves ‘on top’ of society, which is what we were being trained for at school.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to deliberately be a ‘good person’ toward those that I knew had more impact within the political arena in my environment, due to believing that money and politics as part of my ‘relationships’ would be of great use in order to have someone to ‘aid me’ in the future if I ‘help them out’ at this stage- which was schooling years – and within this, from an early age learn the ways within the system of corruption and recommendations wherein things are much easier if you are supported by another in a position of power/ control within the social structure that being ‘one more in the mass,’ which is how I learned that creating a positive reputation within me toward others that I knew would be ‘potential future support’ was to my own benefit, and that helping them out ‘today’ would ensure my own help ‘tomorrow,’ which is how people in positions of power and control support each other to always remain winning, looking for one’s own benefit and position within the system, instead of actually supporting one another to be equally supported, wherein such corruption and favoritism would not have to exist any longer to be supported within the system, but instead equal opportunities as equal support being given as an unconditional living right.
I see and realize how I have used this point of support within my reality as a way to gain/ accumulate ‘positive points’ within my imaginary positive-feedback/ positive reputation chart, wherein I was ensuring my own survival and positioning within the system by deliberately using my ‘wits’ and ‘understanding’ in a place like school to support those that would not understand/ required help and doing so from the starting point of thinking that ‘I am helping them today but I expect to be supported by them tomorrow,’ which mostly implied people being in positions to support me to get to a certain job/ position within the identification of myself as a ‘good person’ and ‘hard working’ and ‘benevolent’ at their eyes, wherein the memories of ‘me having helped them’ throughout school would become the usage of such positive points to ensure that I am able to be supported by people, due to understanding how this world system works based on relationships and understanding the importance of school and relationships within school to create a network of support toward each other to keep us all in the same positions of power/ control/ direction according to what we were supposed to do/ be within the world system.
I commit myself to expose the system of values as positive and negative as the starting point of our entire personalities and beingness being driven to survive within such system basing our actions, words and deeds within the starting point of being ‘good to others’ to our own benefit within the distorted principles of supporting others the same way that one would like to be supported but using it as a way to support each other within a closed system of favoritism and recommendations used to gain or preserve certain positions within the world system wherein the majority of people have no access to such ‘colleagueism’ in order to ensure that those with already enough power/ consideration within the system, remain in such positions through being supported by those in power to remain in the same point of power above others.
I commit myself to stop existing within this favoritism system of ‘being a good person’ in order to await for a positive reward from my initial investment as the ‘good doer person,’ and within this actually walk the process to understand and realize how such benefits from being a ‘good person’ can only exist in a system of Inequality – therefore we can only support each other as equals within the realization that any benefit we currently experience above others is in fact a point of abuse that will no longer be able to exist once that the Equal Money System is in place and established as an actual opportunity to become an example of what giving and receiving in an unconditional manner is all about, which is supporting each other to live in dignity, supporting each other to in fact become living beings and within this realizing that there is no ‘benefit’ to await for within this all, but simply realizing that I am supporting self as one and equal and within this there is nothing to win or lose as it is part of self-support that I have decided to walk as myself within this Process of Self Realization
I commit myself to actually walk the principle of giving to others as one would like to receive in an absolute manner wherein there are no ‘hidden agendas’ of personal benefit to do so, and within this becoming aware of any positive-experience of upliftment or personal satisfaction as an energetic experience if such point arises in any given moment of interaction within supporting others, and instead, assist and support me to realize that there is no ‘other’ that I am supporting here but Self as one and equal, and within this, humbling myself to the point of realizing that it is only through supporting each other to get to an optimal point of expression, self-awareness and self-realization that we will in fact be able to assist and support ourselves as the whole to create a system wherein ‘good doing’ won’t exist as a positive-reputation system for one’s personal benefit, but instead become simple principles that we will all live by, wherein one’s actions, words and deeds are understood within the context of the whole being our responsibility and creation at all times.
This is how we transform the positive-thinking, positive doing as self-investment toward positive rewards in the future, to a constant realization that within giving to others as we would want to receive what’s being benefitted is not only self or the other person but Self as a whole as one and equal, and within this understanding that there will be no need to create relationships based on self-interest to maintain a certain position within the system, but instead actual empathy and understanding and relationships of physical interaction will emerge, as there will be no need to have relationships that support the perpetual positioning of only a few on top of the ‘social chain’ within a hierarchical system of values that would support only a few – but instead, the majority as the whole will learn how to support and work together as one single organism wherein any point of abuse is understood as a disease.
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The FORCE: DAY 161
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