Perfect Elitist Enslavement with a belief of Freedom.
A branch of the Elitist Character is being able to form/ mold/ shape your ‘personality’ with traits of Your Choice – lol – which is the choice that money is able to spare when you have your life essentially ‘solved’ to not be begging for money on the streets or working and actually ‘earning your money.’ I’m going to be writing about what came to be a mix of an elitist-intellectual-revolutionary/antagonist/libertine character that was mostly sought to be ‘lived’ within my life through and as this kind of fascination to become ‘acculturated’ in the drug scene. Yes, in common sense, a person that is barely able to make money to live cannot possibly suddenly be trying to be fascinated by the effects that chemicals create inside your body, trying to reach some form of bliss/ enlightenment with particular substances, read books and information about it, watch movies on the topic or just hold on a continuous habit of indulging in them, which obviously requires one to have More money than the required to Live in order to pay for pills/ drugs to make You Happy. This is depicted quite well in a book by Brett Easton Ellis Less than Zero.
I went to the supermarket yesterday and noticed three guys being quite excited about getting a bottle of Jack Daniels while overhearing one of them saying ‘this place should be run by someone like my dad,’ complaining about the ‘slowness’ of the service to get the bottle, which was barely a 3 minute wait. I could imagine/project or almost predict their entire evening with a bottle of Jack Daniels, most likely ending up puking it out on the toilet, feeling like shit the next day and going with a massive hangover to their top-elitist university nearby. Yes, this is a ubiquitous pattern nowadays, a ‘lifestyle,’ and no it is not criticizing or judging it, this is what we have become: once you have money to cover your basic needs, You SEEK for something more than surviving – because that is already covered.
So this is an aspect of the elitist character, because there are many other conditions that lead to drug consumption, which is also the opposite polarity of poverty, which you can read her “Huffing makes me Forget My Tummy Aches” based on the street kids that sniff cement or glue in order to mitigate hunger – as well as the toxic paint Romanian kids would sniff in that documentary that I also recommend watching if you haven’ Children Underground. That’s another point to walk in itself, but what I’ll share is from the perspective/ side I got to live in and be most ‘acquainted’ with – so to speak.
I made up a conclusion of why Black Metal/ Death Metal brewed mostly in Scandinavian countries – later on in a then flourishing/stable America – that have the best and most stable economy and general well-being, in which I created a hypothesis that because everything was just ‘too fine’ and ‘happy’ in their world, they had to create some form of opposition to balance out the dread of having everything being seemingly fine inside, but the hell inside was not sorted out, as well as becoming aware of the obvious disparity it is to live in a ‘First world’ like that and having wars, poverty, starvation, abuse in any other place in the world; yes, it is enough to already label us all Mad people to not see the obvious polarized ‘nature’ we’ve accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become. This is a similar point in our capitalist societies wherein we are absolutely living in a virtual world wherein things like Depression and Social Phobia have become a lifestyle – and I realize it’s not only a past-century thing, it’s always existed in humanity and the ‘crazy’ people were mostly out skirted in order to not cause any problems to the so-called healthy rest of the population – you can read that in ‘Stultifera Navis’ the First Chapter in Michel Foucault’s Madness and Civilization: A History of Insanity in the Age of Reason. (1988) wherein madness was certainly something that should be kept ‘away’ – nowadays, we’ve embraced it and called it a lifestyle fueled with designer drugs. Wow, really, wow. And why? Because Drugs = Addictions = Constant and Certain Profit Making = Lots of Money.
All of this is mixed into a cultural set of identification to a form of escapism due to how Alienated we’ve become from any form of actual understanding of how everything that enables life to be Lived is produced, what it is to work on our own sustenance. Instead we have focused on and then focusing on things that will give you a mental high in the comfort of your 4 walls room, which is how the majority of people are living as in this world.
I remember when going to the family doctor when I was a child, he would always have all these pens, notepads, rulers, sticks for your tongue and virtually everything plastic made around the area had names of medicines on them. I am sure you are quite aware of this and I questioned it at the time and my mother explained how the companies would give the doctors money/ commissions if they would sell a particular brand of medicine. I took it as normal since it was quite obvious that we were being sold many things all over the place, so it seemed when simply becoming aware of all the billboards on the streets and the suggestive ways in which to BUY our happiness, our health, our improvement, our sanity.
This morning I began hearing more than watching The Marketing of Madness and I say I begun because I’ve barely gotten to the 3rd part out of 18, but as I was hearing, all this entire network of information was suddenly here for me to realize that I must now write about this. Why? I have had a strange fascination for drugs and madness and this goes as far as when I was a little girl and they would joke-threat me to take me to the Batán, which is/was the most well known mental hospital in a smaller city nearby where I lived. Why? I just liked playing crazy, it became a form of entertainment that’s for sure, it was something staged in order to attract people’s attention, well to freak out my parents and sisters mostly. To me insane people were quite ‘free’ according to my schemes, which is what mostly fascinated me – why? Hell, All I know is that from the moment I got cable TV – as I’ve mentioned several times in the past, it was the ‘opening of myself to the world’ at the key-point age of 7 years old, I was more aware of the eccentricity of musicians and I would definitely always hear around the house how ‘artists take drugs / get high to look so careless/ free/ expressive’ which is what to everyone’s eyes would Justify their behavior as ‘careless’ = free. Before that, just playing ‘crazy’ was something that could give me a thrill for doing something ‘out of the ordinary’ which I’ll open up in posts to come.
This is quite an extensive topic that I’ve been writing about here and there throughout this process, but it’s been not that long ago when I was busy with some other character that this entire insanity-point came up again, along with realizing the fascination I had with certain ‘alternative cultures’ based on what I grew up reading, watching on TV, learning from ‘artist’s biographies’ of how most of them had some form of insanity, drug addiction or plain disturbance, which is how I almost lead myself to touch upon those fields within a self-aware act of investigating madness and drugs, then defining all of this to be of my preference/likeness = self brainwashing. Why would that be? again, for the reason that I had the time, had the money to not be living only on survival mode and explore my own ‘personal fascinations’ for a while, enough time to now be able to write about everything that I saw, witness, tried out and have realized now when it comes to see how everything that I had thought to be quite a ‘rebellious act’ of the type of stuff that I was into/ that I liked, came to be just another polarity in the system that required my courageous fascination with things that I deemed as ‘forbidden’ in order to entertain myself further, leading me then into spirituality/ seeking god and wanting to mix both. I mean I was quite into researching DMT and Entheogens and all these ‘awakening’ procedures as well as the effects LSD had to ‘see beyond the veil’ and whatnot. My experimentation was not to get Lost or evade my reality, but to find some form of ‘divinity,’ lol this is the ultimate mindfuck that anyone can fall for in this world wherein you can buy anything you want, give it a meaning and call that a talisman for protection – same with drugs: take it, feel good, realize that you re not ‘mad’ or ‘crazy’ but just an ‘Awakened’ person, yep and there you go: specialness + drugs + money + boredom = perfect slaves on drugs – or as Thom Yorke would write ‘a pig in a cage on antibiotics.’
Now, the personal endeavor to write about this is because I immediately noticed there were still reactions when hearing all these drug names, all the movies, books, relationships came to mind and I realized that I had not opened this point up mostly as a point of reservedness and morality according to how it would be seen as ‘insane’ to have some fascination for madness and drugs – both together were like a perfect cocktail for self-debauchery, that is quite ubiquitous in our current culture/ media, which is where I got it all from in the first place. Idolizing junkies is precisely not what I would want to continue perpetuating as a fluffy reaction within me – yes, there are feelings attached to this entire topic – why? That’s what I will find out as I continue writing here – a sense of freedom in a constrictive world? A sense of ‘limitless expression’? As a result of writing out this, I experimented for sure that there are threads to be walked in order to stop keeping this fascination as part of my little-secrets to keep this bit of a world that I still wanted to be defined by, somehow, because of the entire participation in emotions and feeling when touching upon all things madness, drugs, eccentric behavior and the ‘inextricable human mind,’ which is part of my ability to now be quite thankful to Understand my Mind and be aware of how one can virtually pick any point of fascination according to what one is exposed to, and use it only as a constant point to re-fuel an energetic relationship toward it. This entire aspect is one of those parts of a personality that I became quite infatuated with while developing my emotional/ feeling body, so this is relevant, absolutely relevant to walk.
So, I’ll continue with going sharing part of the personal story and writing out Self Forgiveness, Self Corrective Statements and Realizations about such ‘fascinations’ as mere treats for the mind, which certainly must be stopped so that I expose the entire thing for what it is: just another way to entertain ourselves and pay for it while becoming ‘hooked on drugs’ which is virtually getting ‘hooked on Energy’ wherein the Mind is the only one that benefits.
- SELF-enJOY-MEnt: DAY 220
Blogs on Drugs and Madness: