484. Redefining Desires

Or how to see what we are separating ourselves from in wishful thinking to instead see what is feasible and what we can change or create in our lives for our personal and collective betterment.

desire

 noun a strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen. strong sexual feeling or appetite. something desired.

 

When I read some texts on Buddhism 10 years ago, it was mentioned how getting rid of desires was the way to end all suffering which I considered for some time to apply, but as I’ve explained in various previous blogs over the years, I wasn’t taught how to actually understand my desires, how to work with my experience instead of just focusing on ‘shutting my mind up’ and ‘stop all my desires’ right away, which felt like renouncing, separating myself from something and remaining in a ‘lack’ that I was then supposed to perceive as ‘the end to all of my suffering’= see it in a positive light.

Well, this approach certainly did not work for me because I didn’t see the point of simply focusing on being in some ‘inner stability’ and remaining in a ‘Buddha’ type of mindset where one is literally creating a separation to the ‘mundane’ in order to focus on some ‘higher consciousness’ experience. By now I have seen how that state is still only an experience in our minds and it practically doesn’t assist us in becoming better active living human beings in this world empowered to change things.

Over the years I have been aware of this point of desires and to what extent we can create a besotted infatuation about something or someone wherein it becomes the one thought that drives our experience in a constant manner if we don’t decide to confront it and investigate it to see it for what it is.

I was looking at this word ‘desire’ with my partner the other day and he mentioned how ‘desire’ sounds like ‘these-I-are’ which I found very interesting because if we look at desire and the definition in the dictionary, it’s very similar to ‘hope’ in the sense that we fuel a want, a need, a wish for something to happen or be given to us without us doing anything to create it, which this sounding of the word assists us in realizing: these-I-are or ‘this I are’ as in realizing that what we are ‘desiring’ we are already existing in separation of – so, ‘these- I-are’ sounding of the word can be a way to remind ourselves that what we are ‘desiring’ is indicating a set of experiences, of fantasies, or possibilities that we have to first ground within ourselves in order to see how much of this desire is realistic, doable, practical and most important, if it is in accordance to what is supportive for our lives in consideration of what’s best for all.

Let’s look at a couple of examples. Desiring to be successful in life is something very common in our lives. One thing that I’ve also learned to see in desires is to at the same time of acknowledging this desire as a ‘positive point’, there is also an opposite point existing as ‘the negative’ part of it – this is based on how our mind works/operates at a mechanical level. Therefore in this ‘desire to be successful, there’s also a counter-point in its opposite polarity existing as a Fear.

In this example it can be a fear of failure, fear of ending up in poverty, fear of not getting an achieved status or position, fear of not getting the expected results into that which we want to succeed on. This is a very common sensical and grounding approach to see a ‘Desire’ as an opening of a self-investigation of ‘these-I-are’ thoughts and experiences as our fears and desires, as the points of separation that we’ve created in our minds that we have to face, look at, investigate, write out and self-forgive to then see who we really are and who we decide to be in relation to these wants, needs, desires and the fears that accompany such experience of desiring.

Through the process of applying the tools of writing, self-forgiveness, developing self-corrective statements, we can get to create and see our self-honesty about our desires: Are they realistic, are they doable or not? Are they common sensical as in considering what’s best for all? In the example of desiring success, we can get to realize how ‘success’ is not something that will get in our hands just like money raining down the sky – it won’t ever happen that way. We will find out how we have to actively create success, how to go step by step, bit by bit, developing a consistency, a perseverance, an active process of planning, doing, testing, expanding and finding ways and relationships that can assist us to get – slowly but surely – to a point of stability, growth, thriving and expansion through one’s own labor, through one’s own dedication, passion and consistency in creating what it is that we want to achieve.

Here a ‘desire’ then turns into a point that we can plan on, that we can turn into a set of plans, ways, methods to achieve what we want for our lives and that of others – then we are no longer caught day-dreaming within ‘a desire’ but instead, one can get hands on to create it, to make it a reality.

But let’s look at another example. Desiring someone else’s partner while we are in a relationship ourselves. It’s not something we would easily admit yet it can happen and it can become a ‘desire’ that we are fueling with our every thought on a daily basis and we are not even really questioning, what is it that we ARE in fact desiring, seeing the direct consequences of what it would mean to wreak havoc in relationships in order to satisfy an ‘idea,’ most likely a belief and a ‘positive experience’ that we have created in our minds about that other person that we’ve turned into a ‘desirable item’ for us, which is unfortunately something I have done in the past, and as much as one can be ashamed for it, being ashamed changes nothing. I had to ensure that I learn from the experience and no longer repeat the same in any way from now on, which means I have to investigate what am I desiring as a ‘person’ and instead doing the same self-investigation mentioned above to see and understand what am I separating myself from in relation to that person? What traits or qualities am I seeing as ‘separate’ from me that instead of desiring to ‘acquire them’ through a relationship, I can live out and integrate as a part of myself?

In this process of investigating how feasible, doable and supportive this example of desire is, I can realize that it’s not at all something acceptable, it’s not something that is best for me nor for the other person for that matter, where I am overseeing the fact that I am actually desiring relationship breakups in order to get together with that one person that I believe is going to ‘be better for me’ in one way or another. This point here we usually miss out when simply feeding and building up a desire, without at all really laying out the potential consequences of manifesting our desires. Therefore how I saw the point, it was not even a question that this desire is something that I have to self-forgive for all the points I am missing out as consequences I would create, while only existing in and following an experience of desiring something or someone, without placing my feet on the ground.

This reality check that we can do with our desires from my personal experience has to be at a written level, with the tools of self-forgiveness and self-honesty in order to acknowledge our creation, our responsibility and see where do we really want to stand in relation to our fabrications in our mind. There is something essential about this process of being able to see ourselves writing or typing out and seeing in front of us all the plethora of thoughts, experiences, fantasies, imaginations that we’ve built up or accumulated about these desires, to finally realize ‘these-I-are’ as these thoughts, these feelings are myself and I have to work through them all to from there see what do I decide to change, to stop feeding as ‘a desire in me’ and how can I instead use this realization into a supportive outcome for myself and so others as well.

In the topic of relationships, sometimes it is an indication of where we have to instead focus on our already existent relationship with another – or the relationship with ourselves, alone – and see how can we improve it, how can we expand in it, how can we use this ‘weakness’ perceived in ourselves or others and instead assist each other to change it, to strengthen ourselves which in turn makes the relationship a much more supportive platform for personal and so each other’s growth. While also making sure that we ‘leave the other person subject of our desires’ outside of our realm of fantasies and imaginations making a decision to stop feeding it every single moment that it ‘comes up’ again in our thoughts.  If we are to create a world where transparency, integrity, honor and respect reigns, we have to apply and live those principles within ourselves and toward each other first of all.

Here I have shared two examples of desires that indicates to us where do we have to create a direction in our lives to build and create what we want to be and become – and another example of a desire that is mostly indicating where we are separating ourselves from ourselves, where we can look at ways to integrate words, ways of living that we see others are doing for themselves and become that ourselves, which is where the ‘these-I-are’ reminder also comes handy, I have the potential to be that which I am desiring from someone else, I can work on developing and becoming those aspects or words as myself.

This is a genuinely empowering way to look at desires where we no longer just ‘renounce’ or ‘deny’ the desires in an attempt to ‘shut them up’ or pretend they don’t’ exist – no. Within the Desteni I Process, we face our desires, we open them up, we work with them, we learn how to understand the ways in which we are separating ourselves from our own potential, while also assisting ourselves to remain realistic and self-honest about what is possible to do or not do according to what we would ‘ideally’ want vs. what is realistic and doable for each one of us to build and create in our lives.

Thanks for reading

 

 

Learn how to practically free yourself from Desires:

• Free Online DIP Lite Course

• School Of Ultimate Living | Facebook

• EQAFE.Com : SELF Education and SELF Awareness Store

• 7 Year Journey To Life Process : People Sharing their Processes of Self-Forgiveness and Self-Correction

• Get Real with Cerise & Joe

• Desteni Radio

• Desteni Articles

• Destonians

• Desteni I Process

• Agreement/Redefining Relationship Course

• Desteni Forum : Discuss and share with us

• Desteni Wiki

• Desteni Español

• Creation’s Journey to Life

• Heaven’s Journey To Life

464.Changing My World View

Or how I stopped feeding a back door/way out or ‘quick fix’ belief in my reality

 

A continuation on:

454. Embracing Living Potentials

 

There’s something interesting that I’ve noticed not only in myself but through and walking with various individuals I also have the opportunity to assist and support, and that is how much of our own way of looking at thing in our reality, our lives changes as we go walking through our minds which means, understanding ourselves better, getting to know the nooks and crannies of ourselves in terms of how we think, why we experience ourselves in a certain manner in certain situations, what motivates us, what we have accepted and allowed ourselves to fear, to desire, to procrastinate, to hold on to in various ways… it can be endless to get to know us to the T in all aspects. However the more that I’ve gotten to do this and worked through with myself not only to understand me, but to also directly work on changing these aspects, what tends to change as well is the way that we see the world, see our lives and so the way that we experience ourselves in it all.

I can identify with many people I work with where our minds usually tended to look for the pessimistic, fatalist and all-destructive outcomes as a sort of a desired outcome for humanity, believing that it’s the way to do justice to the Earth and Life and all other sentient beings that are not humans. However as much as this could be an acceptable idea, I also had to acknowledge and recognize the fact that a part of me actually was giving up on myself and on everyone else’s potential to change, which translates the whole point of ‘wanting an Armageddon or ultimate self-destruction’ in wanting the ‘easy way out’ while believing this is only fair to Life, that it’s fair to the animals, that it’s fair to nature etc.

Well, once that I understood my own desire to ‘run away’ from reality and justifying it within these seemingly irrefutable facts above, I stopped advocating such ideas in my head and it wasn’t something easy to stop identifying myself with, because as long as I held to my reasons, justifications and blame toward all of us humans for creating the world system ‘as is’ and causing so much destruction and suffering towards what’s here, I was focusing only on the idea of doing what seems right or fair as a form of vendetta that life could take on us, and me accepting it in a form of apparent martyrdom, lol – but more and more I started realizing that I in fact liked to entertain those thoughts of imminent destructions because in reality, I wanted an easy way out of our responsibility that we all hold and have to what is here as our creation, which is this whole world as is.

How do I see that I’ve been slowly but surely changing this approach is based on how I interact with reality. A daily example is how I watch or read news everyday as I’ve shared before in blogs, and how I continually work on not allowing information ‘get a hold of me’ and so driving myself to feed again that self-destructive or ‘end of the world’ type of desire, which became even a sort of experience at an energetic level where a part of me would be really wishing everything to just go wrong and end ‘asap’.

Here what happens when not entertaining those ‘easy way out through destruction’ thoughts any longer and making peace with the realization that: we are not going anywhere, we are here to build the solutions from the ground up, bit by bit, no matter how ‘long’ or how ‘hard’ it may seem, there is like a point of ‘making peace’ with who I am, with what is here as our reality, with what we’ve become as human beings and so instead of continually being existing in friction and conflict towards ‘us’ as the creators of what is here, ‘building my case’ to kind of ‘prove to life’ that ‘we are not worthy as human beings, that we should be eradicated from the face of the earth ASAP’, I have been instead focusing more on seeing where I can start, where do we have to start as human beings to build sustainable solutions from the ground up, and this starts at a very individual level really, which is why I and many others are focusing on this level of self-awareness and so self-creation along with others to understand how is it that as we all go changing one by one, long lasting external changes will invariably also be created as a result of this individual self-change.

With this I am implying how my way of looking at things changed from destruction to creation. I am more grounded and realistic, more ‘here’ in the sense of embracing and accepting what is existent as ourselves, as this world – not to leave it ‘as is’ of course, but to simply stop continually fighting it in a silent yet continuous mode and I can definitely say that this continuous inner fight projected on the ‘outside’ leads nowhere other than procrastinating the real process of self-change that we can start by and with ourselves first. In short, I stopped ‘blaming’ and instead focused more on starting with changing this very aspect of ‘blaming’ and projecting my own experiences onto ‘the world out there’ – self responsibility first of all.

I find it somehow easier to see reality for what it is, to go stopping the judgments that I would usually entertain and feed within the idea of still building a case as to why we are just ‘lost’ and ‘without a remedy therefore we should just cease to exist’, seeing ourselves – human beings – as a cosmic joke, a mistake that should have never been and it is this kind of experiences of disgust, misanthropy in a way and a deep desire to just ‘end it all’ that would continually cloud my view of reality even in subtle yet ever present ways that would be creating this noise for me to not be able to see the potential in me and so in others in a full and crystal clear manner, because there were these constant back doors within me as seemingly ‘hidden desires’ for a ‘quick fix’ really, a way to just ‘end it all’ and not have to face the actual process of learning to recognize and take responsibility for our creation, to understand what is it that we’ve exactly accepted and allowed and so be willing to self forgive, let go of that past and do the work to actually change ourselves to something that we can live with and stand by for the rest of our existence.

Here it’s clear for me to see that one can have the greatest understanding of things and be agreeing with principles and ideas that represent a better outcome for all life, but I saw myself how as long as I held on to these ‘backdoors’ as ‘way outs’ that I still held as something that ‘makes sense’ that is ‘justifiable’ and is an ‘acceptable’ thing to exist within me, I would still eventually exert those beliefs as experiences and judgments that I would project onto ‘humanity’ out there. It’s interesting because I didn’t create a particular ‘personal fight’ against a particular faction of human beings, but all of them/us ‘en masse’ and so whenever doing that exercise where one can bring up the first word that comes to mind when holding in our minds an image of humanity, all that came up in me was an experience I can encompass as disdain, despair, disappointment, disgust, things that represented that part of myself that was not yet seeing the potential that each one of us hold within ourselves, which is of course yet to be developed.

So, upon walking those judgments that would turn into experiences that I would project towards ‘humanity’, I realized how I was only doing what most of us human beings do: blame, being lame in seeing others as ‘the problem’ for what we are experiencing, which as much as I could have reasons and validations for this experience with me based on the, yes, obvious destruction and enslavement we’ve imposed to all life, I had to also realize that there is really no point in blaming as that only keeps me locked into this fatalist experience, seeing no potentials in other beings – therefore within myself – and at the same time, it becomes a comfort zone to not actually change me, challenge me, my views because I believe that ‘I am right, I am making a point with those desires!’ – but that righteousness is precisely what easily blinds us from understanding where we are in fact still reacting, still blaming  – even in very subtle ways – like in the form of ‘doing justice’ or ‘doing what’s right’ yet still holding such experience within me that came from a starting point of giving up, of not wanting to do the actual work and dedication it will take to sort anything out in this world, starting with ourselves.

Therefore, I find it very relevant to check every time that I see myself getting again into that ‘despondent’ experience within me, where I start again building my ‘web’ or my case for seeing ‘no way out’ for us as human beings, which can be as easily as going into the streets and making a mind-decision to focus more on all the things that are wrong, that are consequential, that are creating problems, all the interactions between people that seem problematic and emotional, all the poverty, all the disregard for one another and go building my case as to why it is futile to stand up for any change because ‘look at humanity! It’s impossible!’ Really?

I’ll dare to say nope, it’s not – because I am living this change myself and I am walking it in a very real time process with people in my life that many others could have probably given up on long ago, which is still a process to walk but every day It assists me in seeing what is possible in real time change, only requiring a directive decision and awareness by each one of us to do so, and it’s quite marvelous and I can say for the first time this is not only me doing it in my own life, but also seeing it first hand in the lives of many that I also have the fortune to be walking with in this process and assisting directly as well in their personal Desteni I Process courses.

So whenever I get to feel ‘despondent’ towards the things out there in the world, whenever I get to feel that way in ‘rough times’ I can now use yesterday’s word and remind myself of Hope as an indication that my experience is letting me know there are new ways to explore to create solutions, there is a need to check within myself where is it that I am giving up and so how can I practically create ways through and solutions to the situation I am in or that I can contribute to in the lives of others.

I can therefore openly say that we are the hope for humanity, for real, because we are actively working individually and together in many parts around the world to start one by one creating and sticking to living this self-change that for many that have come and gone, seemed impossible. I definitely can understand all the reasons of why some decided to not follow through with it, I can understand every weakness that leads oneself to make such decisions because in one way or another, I’ve faced those myself in many ways including intense manners as well. But I am also glad to say that those were supportive challenges for me to continually re-affirm my vow to my life and the life in everything/us all – they have been parts of what I can call ‘the eye of the needle’ tests that I’m sure I’ll have to keep on walking through because this is only what is common sensical to do if we are to stand as individuals that can truly stand one and equal to life in all ways, I would not allow half-ways or dubious selves to be part of it.

This is then a realization and sharing of one of  my most tricky, yet ever present, obstacles that I have been able to ‘crackdown’ within myself in the past few months, and it’s quite a lol as well because it’s that which I had become or ‘lived’ within myself to such an extent that I was not even questioning such ‘nature’ in me as this character or set of patterns that saw ‘no way out’ but still found it important to stick to walking this process, while I was still holding on to a part of my easy-way-out ego that preferred to not see potential so as to not have to do the actual work to unearth it, ‘carve it out’, sculpt it and polish it so to speak, which means to actually develop and create something. In essence, diminishing myself in the belief that I could not ‘keep up with’ or be able to stick through the actual process to do this, but here I am going to challenge and prove that self-belief wrong by doing this for real.

This year is coming to an end and as much as it is funny to see people in social media ‘hating’ 2016, I more like understand where that sentiment is coming from, and as much as I could have joined that same charade in older times, I stand corrected with gratefulness for all the various challenges and changes and definitive decisions I took on this year which were quite a few, all of them having their ‘2 cents’ forcing me to look at deeper within me in order to process stuff, to change, which is great I mean, how else could I have gotten to that if it wasn’t for these challenges in our reality?

So, one thing is certain and that is how I definitely don’t see the world as I used to at the beginning of this year, I am committing myself to keep developing that focus on potential, on what is possible, on what can be worked on, carved out, sculpted and polish in each one of us and it’s truly gratifying to do this, I cannot be more grateful than being able to have the trust and confidence of other people walking this process directly with me as assisting them in walking through this same process in a parallel mode with myself, which is definitely not only a ‘one way’ form of support, it’s absolutely mutual as well. I definitely would like us all human beings to be able to do this for each other, to create relationships of support, care, nurturing each other’s lives and having that starting point of being there for each other, genuinely care to contribute in someone’s life to be better in whichever way we can, that’s what to me life is about, at least my current definition of course, but has certainly become one of my living purposes without a doubt.

Looking back to ‘check ourselves’ is cool and to keep a note on all the points yet to be worked on in the following year.

Thanks for reading aaand

Please give yourself some time to hear this awesome episode of Desteni Radio that definitely inspired and evoked this reflection within me today:

 

Desteni Radio # 10 – Joe Goes Mad Part 2: There is no Quick Fix

 

and a great quote from it:

 

 

If you’d like some support in preventing and being 1+ person that stands up for life in a practical day to day living manner, check out:

• School Of Ultimate Living | Facebook

• EQAFE.Com : SELF Education and SELF Awareness Store

• 7 Year Journey To Life Process : People Sharing their Processes of Self-Forgiveness and Self-Correction

• Desteni Radio

• Desteni Articles

• Destonians

• Desteni I Process

• Agreement/Redefining Relationship Course

• Desteni Forum : Discuss and share with us

• Desteni Wiki

• Desteni Español

• Creation’s Journey to Life

• Heaven’s Journey To Life

463. Redefining Hope

Or how to practically live a word that usually only means an expectation, a desire, an intent

 

I’ve challenged a fellow Destonian, Tormod, to redefine the word hope, but whenever I see within myself and I realize that I also have some redefinition to do around that word then it means: I have take my own suggestion for myself as well.

I also consider it’s timely since this year is ending, and usually what we tend to wish for one another in general is ‘hoping for better times’ in the year to come as in waiting for things to get better, to have ‘the good times/future on our side’, to be fortunate, to have all the best and no more of all ‘the bad/negative’ stuff, which is also an interesting premise first to look at in terms of how hope is usually said when things are not so well, things are going wrong or bad or not having the expected results.

I had shared before how supportive it was for me to in essence adopt the words ‘Kill all hope’ as a means to let go of that usual notion of hope as this word that almost evokes this whimsical experience where one can almost envision these ‘winds of change’ coming through from somewhere, somehow, almost with this ‘magical halo’ as if something/someone will come and fix our problems, will come and save us, sort something out for us, expecting something to get better by itself, “we’ll have better luck in coming times!” the future looking like this promising illusion that is nowhere to be found ‘here’, meaning, we are precisely just staring toward the upper right space above our heads, staring at a nothingness and imagining, fantasizing, wishing and so ‘hoping’ for good things to come our way.

So what do the words ‘killing all hope’ meant to me as a starting point to precisely correct myself in my experience that I just described above and so get back to ‘here’ to my physical reality and myself? Quite simple: stopping waiting, stopping fantasizing or weaving an illusion in our heads that we project and web into the future, someday, somehow…. Out there! So I questioned, who am I existing as within this hope? And I found that I am inaction, I am disempowerment, I am fears, I am sunk in inertia, I am depression, I am positively-thinking and fantasizing only, I am abdicating my responsibility for my self-creation to god knows what or who to do something out there for me.

Upon seeing that, I realized that surely I had to let go of all hope and so instead gear myself to not ‘wait’ but act, move, direct, create, plan and walk the first steps to achieve something, to do that something I was merely existing in ‘waiting-mode’ for. So this is more of a practical approach for changing hope into words that are the reverse of inaction or waiting.

However, I did notice at the same time that I then sort of refrained myself from using the word ‘hope’ and that would mean that I can still do some work to make it ‘my own’, to redefine it in the sense of filling that word with a meaning I can live by, stand by and so share it, speak it within the context that it may be suitable for.

 

So here I want to nail this word down within the context of communicating with others and understanding when they use the word hope as a means or way to, for example, give themselves strength, courage and motivation to keep walking through a particular difficult situation in their lives where it is common to hear ‘let’s hope for the best’. I’ll share a particular example that I want to use as a platform to redefine this word hope for.

I’ve been recently in this situation of being aware of someone being very sick and possibly dying soon, I listened to people express hope for this person’s health to get better. I must say I did get challenged in that I thought it would not get better at all, but I’ve been proven wrong, which is great, but I also considered that as with everything, even if things can go ‘better’ for some time, once that a particular diagnosis is certain, hope can only exist ‘that far’ in terms of a person’s life, and it applies to all of us really, we all have a limited timeframe in this world and if we only ‘wait’ for something better to come our way, we will certainly waste our precious time here.

I shared above how I can now ‘fill in’ the meaning within the word hope in a way that is much more substantial than just waiting or wishing or thinking positively. Developing strength, courage, self-motivation, consistency, diligence and perseverance are great ways to live hope in a way that one can give that to oneself – in whichever measure one is able to and according to the context/situation and conditions. These words are so much more ‘here’ and empowering and able to be lived by and directed entirely by ourselves, no matter how ‘big’ or ‘small’ the tasks we are moving ourselves with, what matters is precisely having this intent, this starting point of supporting ourselves or something/someone with that vision or outcome of creating a better situation for everyone involved moment by moment, day by day.

Here also considering that once that such active support is provided for example for a person, hope applies in the sense of yes doing what is necessary to assist another, the person assisting themselves with these words that they can live for and by themselves regardless, and there comes a practical ‘waiting’ in this case, where yes there is a waiting process at the same time to see how things evolve, what works best in creating a better quality of living in such difficult situation, it’s more of a timeframe to assess, to evaluate – but definitely not a time to be ‘with arms crossed’ doing nothing  – so this is also a practical way to see ‘hope’ as a practical waiting/observing of a development or unfoldment.

It also assists me in letting go of the usual image I have associated with hope which is that of ‘long faces’ as in sad faces that are ‘hoping’ for better times, like people in war that one can have as images etched in our minds of how all of them are yearning for something better, for the war to stop, hoping for the best, but many times being incapable of ‘stopping the war’ themselves – but they, as many people in war torn situations, have demonstrated that in those worst situations the better of themselves can come through and assist them to live through day by day. They do become that courage, that strength, that diligence to face their day to day even in worst case scenarios and not giving up, and that’s a key word here as well that can nurture and substantiate the word ‘hope’: not giving up, not letting oneself be blinded by emotions, but also not fall into ‘false illusions’ but being very realistic about the work to be done, the process ahead, the amount of self-work and diligence it will take to do that and so realizing that hope is not a given thing, hope doesn’t come ‘by itself,’ Hope is created as a day to day living process where each decision we make is in fact affecting and so creating our future.

This is also another dimension as well where at least in my case I tend to associate hope with this elusive ‘future time’/ a future-tense word where one is kept in ‘tension’ and so in a ‘paralyzed’ mode in the present ‘waiting’ for that future someday… but that’s exactly the kind of ‘trap’ that we have to prevent ourselves from falling into when using the word hope and instead be able to redefine it into the realization that we are creating the future every single moment, ‘we are the future’, the future is already here for us to create, because it doesn’t exist in fact ‘out there’, that’s only an illusion. All we have is the present, and so the present is an active living, an active doing and working on that which we want to change, create, redefine, align, build and direct ourselves and others towards.

Here’s another cool dimension that this opens up! Many times hope is linked to an expected outcome or result, that is mostly suiting our interests, our desires and it’s usually something good or positive in however we see or frame things. I’ll take the example of a person with a terminal illness and them waiting and hoping to get better, or their family members. So realistically, it is probably not possible for them to live much longer, but that certain outcome as death should not define ‘who they are’ in their every moment where they are still HERE, still alive, still breathing, yes with definitive problems in the functioning of their body, but there is in fact much more that we can still live of ourselves even in those worst case scenarios, and this is something that I’ve had the luck and opportunity to become recently aware of through the recordings on Eqafe from a dear friend that is sharing with us her process through Cancer, and needless to say that it has changed so much of my perception around the notion of pain and terminal illness that in a way it has assisted me to also dispel my own fears that I projected unto her and others that I see in such terminal-diseases, and realizing that there’s so much more to each one of ourselves, regardless of the physical ailments and impairments that we might or may go through in our lifetimes.

So, hope became a very convenient word to look at in relation to a process of ‘wishing someone to be well/get better’ – but in this I see that it makes much more sense to focus on a day by day basis, not to expect that ‘desired outcome’ as in ‘full recovery’ or ‘back to 100% health’ because that would be an illusion, but instead definitely focusing on living this hope as in sticking to the best aspects of ourselves, our strength, our courage, our transcendence of fears and limitations, which means actual work, a constant being and doing in every moment that we are here breathing, breathing life into life instead of giving it away to worry, fears or empty waiting modes.

I very much appreciate the work from Sunette at SOUL – School of Ultimate Living that has opened to us a myriad of possibilities to look at words and how to practically redefine them, it’s quite a gift to give to oneself once that one is ready and willing to support oneself to change in one’s day to day reality. So, this is here my sharing in honor of what I’ve learned from her and through her in the awesome videos that have been share thus far this year at SOUL. Please check them out!

If you reading this have other points open up for you in relation to hope, please share them! I’d like to read and expand more on possible aspects contained in this word ‘hope.’

And so I take these words I’ve written also to place into context the usual expectations on the new year, and how so whenever hearing or reading the word ‘hope’ one can use it as a ‘flag point’, a reminder that there are actual ‘doings’ attached to that word: it’s up to us to create it, to stand as that which we want to live by and create for ourselves. And so also here realizing that no matter how challenging, harsh and difficult situations might be –because let’s face it, that’s how reality is for the most part – we can decide who we are in those moments, and not allowing ‘the bad/the difficulties’ to define us, but rather decide who we are within ourselves while facing and walking through such moments, challenging ourselves to get past the wishful thinking mode and instead go straight into the actions that stand as solutions, as a clear determination of us deciding to live the best for ourselves and practically do it.

 

Thanks for reading

 

Recommended series that will certainly assist you in those difficult times in one’s life and health, but not limited to that either, gift yourself:

1.      Time is the Present we Gift Ourselves – Death Research – Part 1

2.      Time is the Present we Gift Ourselves – Death Research – Part 2

3.      Time is the Present we Gift Ourselves – Death Research – Part 3

4.      Cancer Becoming Emotional – Death Research

5.      Getting Yourself in Tune – Death Research

 

 

 

I leave the post with a picture that is used by one of my favorite bands and it happens to be that, lol, I never quite got ‘the point’ with this image until now! Throughout the years I actually found myself more like judging or reacting to the fact that they usually have this word ‘hope’ as a constant in their presentations and related images to their music. However, now that I finished this blog and have grounded myself in this redefinition of the word ‘Hope’ I can see that the hammer in this illustration can be a representation of ‘the work to do’, the actual actions to live in order to create such hope in a supportive, realistic and sustainable manner, scaring away the ‘wishful whimsical thinking’ lol.

 

If you’d like some support in preventing and being 1+ person that stands up for life in a practical day to day living manner, check out:

• School Of Ultimate Living | Facebook

• EQAFE.Com : SELF Education and SELF Awareness Store

• 7 Year Journey To Life Process : People Sharing their Processes of Self-Forgiveness and Self-Correction

• Desteni Radio

• Desteni Articles

• Destonians

• Desteni I Process

• Agreement/Redefining Relationship Course

• Desteni Forum : Discuss and share with us

• Desteni Wiki

• Desteni Español

• Creation’s Journey to Life

• Heaven’s Journey To Life

417. How to Become Your Own Role Model

There was a blog entry I made some time ago about the documentary ‘Come and Worry With Us’

397. Come and Stop Worrying about Money & Children with us

about one of my favorite bands and generally discussing the problems that come when lacking sufficient money while still wanting to keep producing art, in this case performing and so generally seeing a more realistic approach to the lives of the people ‘on the spotlight’ so to speak, however I realize there is another dimension there to look at and that is part of my lack of objectivity when viewing this documentary, because I had a particular kinship toward the band itself and the people in it, specifically the leader of the band who happens to be part of another band that has been well known for remaining ‘out of the system,’ giving few interviews over the years, rejecting prizes from mainstream music industry, having no lyrics on their songs yet using their titles and general sounds used in the music as a constant reminder of the turbulent times we live in – such as wars, economic depression, general emotional depression, worrying about the future etc.

So, within investigating this, I realized that the people I had ‘admired’ throughout my life were mostly artists that have been able to ‘make it’ into the system without ‘selling out’ or what I then judged as ‘making lots of money into the system while escaping from complying to “the establishment.” That was my type of ‘ideal’ in life, to be ‘out of the system’ – I once thought that was possible, lol – and still make good money and speak on the frontline of ‘the oppressed’ so to speak. I’ve debunked in the past this character but there’s a dimension that I had missed looking at in terms of how I had admired individuals that I perceived as a form of ‘warriors’ themselves, to ‘stick to their guns’ so to speak, to stick to their beliefs and what they stand for which I see that this particular individual mostly does.

 

 

In the documentary ‘Come and Worry with Us’ Efrim Menuck actually refuses to place higher prices to concert tickets in order for them to make more money  – and so have more economic solvency – because he wants to keep to the point of having ‘fair ticket prices’ for the public. This is something that I would have praised and seen as remarkable – but, is it really Self-Honest to actually go through hardship just to stick to one belief? Or is it really compromising the wellbeing of his own son/family/band for the sake of keeping his stance of anti-capitalism? Is it really common sensical to have a constant war toward money itself and wage a ‘fight against capitalism’ while refusing to do any other work and so placing your own financial security at risk, just because of not wanting to ‘sell out’ or ‘kiss corporate ass’ so to speak? My ideal was to be able to also ‘stick to my guns’ and rebel to the system in one way or another, but back then I had no idea of how even money was created or whether there was a genuine possibility to be ‘outside of the system’ – which I now understand of course cannot be a possibility even if I lived in Papua New Guinea.

 

So, in this, I realize that any trace of creating a preference for a particular individual based on the ‘ideals’ they stand for and those ideals being essentially based on antagonism toward the ‘establishment’ is still idolizing part of the problem in this world, because their ‘qualities’ are based on opposing something, on waging war against a certain faction and that’s essentially re-creating the idea of ‘resistance’ toward something or someone, instead of actually focusing on understanding the problem and so developing solutions.  Efrim himself has said how musicians are cowards because they can sing about the problems but most are not directly involved in creating solutions – and most of the solutions that come from people that follow this kind of ideals are based on further revolts and protesting, which is no actual solution in fact.

 

 

 

Today I was pondering why so many artists can see the problems in society , but all that they have managed to do is expose it in pictures, in complicated objects and abstractions that would take more than one ‘quick view’ from a person to understand the actual message most of the times. I have then seen that as much as art has had this role of pointing out what is wrong with society and mirror it back, it lacks any substantial process of creating solutions. Some have gotten more involved into what would seem as social or anthropological work, getting involved with ‘the art piece’ that is part of a particular community/in situ, however those are still packets of solutions here and there, while the more general type of solutions will always come from the greater realms that still direct our society, which is politics, economics, education systems, media, etc. And art is still from my perspective a niche part of society that creates meta-languages that only a few can understand.

 

I simply realized that in order to ‘create change in the world’ as I have aspired to do, it takes more than just presenting images, sculptures, videos to people. Sure, it is a stepping stone, a bridge – but ultimately it is one’s own process of self-change that really enables one to understand also the magnitude of the problem and so also the best ways to go directing ourselves to support this change as well.

It’s interesting that one of the reasons I wanted to be an ‘artist’ is precisely for the kind of statements an attitudes generally attributed to artists such as: ‘an artist won’t lick the establishment’s boots.’ I had not questioned even for one moment that in doing this, one is standing in a constant warfare toward ‘the system’ instead of realizing we all are the system. In this stance, one is acting as any other ego in this world that is separated from others, that is standing with some and against others, while having no real practical solution development process in it. In this it is about clarifying that it’s not about the process of creation here, but rather the personalities I had placed more value and as such an experience on.

 

Self Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever idolize a particular lifestyle that stood for a particular idea of persona that I wanted to be based on my desire to stand ‘against the system’ without ever realizing how only an ego can stand in separation from another.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to idolize another individual based on the principles of ‘standing up to the system’ or ‘sticking to their guns’ as a way to exemplify people that would still survive and ‘make a living’ in an apparent non-sellout way to ‘the system,’ wherein I had created a sense of heroism toward people that would ‘dare’ to do this, and see them as role models, without realizing that in reality creating such kind of ‘stance’ toward ‘the system’ is once again perpetuating the problem as in standing ‘against’ those that we perceive as ‘the wrongdoers,’ ‘the evil ones,’ ‘the capitalistic mafia,’ without realizing we are all part of and co-creators of this ‘evil mafia’ as our world and money system and we would not be able to have the lives we have right now if we weren’t part of the system as  a whole, which implies that by virtue of being a human being in this world, using money, using resources, relating to others, existing in this world = it implies we are all part of the system.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to romanticize the idea of my ‘role models’ being individuals that were cryptic in nature, were antagonistic yet sad and dismal about the state of affairs in the world, which I associated with being profoundly ‘sensitive’ individuals and within this, justifying their stance of being ‘against the system,’ without realizing that this is in fact a victimized state of showing ‘the system’ what ‘it has done to them’ and also remain within such excuse to not partake in the actual process of self-responsibility and self-creation that is required to genuinely change things.

We can actually all learn how to coexist, communicate, come to agreements and work together within the system using our creativity for the betterment of all in a Practical Way, instead of using art as a way to only use representations to criticize, judge, point fingers and blame and taking the vantage point, the righteousness of being the ‘fair one’ that is doing ‘nothing wrong’ and can only resort to ‘complain about it.’ This is precisely how we have disempowered ourselves, by creating yet another bubble in society wherein all the people that are most informed about the problems, that see and understand the problems, that can even create ‘art’ based on it are not really working within the spheres where real change can take place, which is in education, in politics, in law systems wherein we can in fact change the codes, the rules and how we manage our society.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have surrounded myself with people that I thought I had admired for ‘taking a stance’ within the system, mostly of judging and complaining about it which I once identified as ‘powerful’ but in fact, it is the most disempowered state one can be in, and more so only channeling one’s observations into a song or a painting or a discourse against ‘the powers that be’ instead of genuinely understanding the process of changing the world beginning with oneself, stopping all antagonistic stance toward ‘the world’ and the perceived ‘evil ones’ and walk the actual process of self-forgiving all the antagonism and inner conflict toward reality so that one can focus on learning how we came to create this mess, this world-system problem and so focus our time, attention and dedication to becoming the solution, to creating and presenting solutions as that’s the real way we can genuinely unite in one single voice that stands as self-responsibility and no longer remain as futile resistance and antagonism.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having ever been in awe and amazed at people that I would see ‘standing up to the establishment’ or ‘daring’ to speak about everything that is wrong about the world and see them as heroes, as ‘superior’ individuals – without realizing that speaking against, shouting, marching, protesting and joining the antagonistic ‘choir’ so to speak is rather a stepping stone and a relatively easier thing to do  – it also creates a self-belief of righteousness and justice, but what has been missed is pondering how such reclamation, how such anger and spite toward the system is in fact supporting to create a solution at all? How is one’s anger, one’s sadness and despair, one’s decision to ‘not sell out’ in fact supporting to change the nature of ourselves as individuals and so with doing that, changing the nature of the world system that does function in a enslavement-mode.

Isn’t it only self-interest to create an experience within oneself of righteousness about one’s ‘beliefs’ and stance when such beliefs are defined according to begin against something/someone? In fact, all our past revolutionaries have become personalities printed on posters as an example to new generations of a perceived ‘way forward’ for change through ideals of change and a call for revolution, when in fact that will only lead to and perpetuate the ongoing wars we have.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate the word idol or hero in the context of people I have seen have apparently ‘stood up to the system’ but only in a fighting mode or in a ‘resistance’ manner, which ultimately keeps the war going between ‘two sides’ that antagonize each other and do not actually get to put down the defenses and work together in self-responsibility to create genuine solutions. This would be the new heroism, wherein we no longer have to ‘fight a battle’ to ‘win’ and so be identified as the ‘hero of the day’ but rather define here-oism as an individual that lives by principle, that commits to being fully HERE as Life and whose actions are aimed at benefiting him/herself and others as well.

Heroism means to stand in absolute self-responsibility and accountability, to ensure one stops all inner wars first, then a real hero or role model emerges as someone that won’t ever antagonize themselves with another, but instead lives the realization that it is only through self-forgiving our polarization, our antagonism and inner battles that we can create a genuine world living in peace and harmony, just as the one that many artists or ‘heroes’ have attempted to create. But ultimately, living in actual self-responsibility makes you no one’s enemy, no one’s ‘freedom fighter’ and so, war is annihilated when recognizing and living in equality.

 

Integrity is the congruence sticking to live by and apply living principles that stand within the consideration of what is best for all, that implies not only sticking to what one prefers or sees as ‘righteous’ but implies actually actively pushing oneself to become a self-responsible and self honest human being. This means walking the talk and stopping any form of hypocrisy by denying what is here as ourselves and blaming someone for it. All is self-responsibility, all is our self-creation.

 

Real self-change begins with oneself, begins with recognizing that this system as ‘capitalism’ is not the problem in itself, but ourselves as human beings . Taking an antagonistic stance and pretending to be an ‘outsider’ to it all is abdicating self-responsibility and creating a new self-religion, a trendy form of excuse, justification and self-belief that the battle against the government/ the establishment can in any way be ‘won’ when there’s nothing to win in a world where if we don’t actually get to work together, we will simply deplete everything that is here and we won’t have anyone to battle on any longer because fighting is never the solution, self-direction and common sense is. Why haven’t we realized how we actually co-create wars as we fight for our plight to freedom? Why should we even have to ‘fight’ for something that should be given as a guaranteed living right?

The solution for myself is once again to be very aware of any reminiscence of praising individuals for having ‘strong beliefs’ that can be disguised as justice, as ‘fighting for what’s right’ but in fact when looking at how they live, what they think and where they stand, compromising one’s financial stability for the sake of ‘sticking to one’s beliefs’ is not common sense. More so with artists, there’s a lot of creativity and engineering processes that are being squandered only in pieces that are shown in museums or streets, but still just pieces of matter, words or images that intend to open up people’s eyes but I’ve realized that art in itself as a material thing is is not enough – it can be a starting point, a bridge, an opening toward a certain perspective or view,  but currently we mostly lack ways in which to give a follow-up to that ‘awakening’ process.

That’s why sharing about this self-creative process is the most important thing I see is required in our current society, so that we can shift our focus from the fights and antagonism or despair, toward an actual recognition of our power and ability to change ourselves and so change the world. Sounds like a cliché, but I’m testing this real time and it works, and it is not a quick fix since it is like re-weaving one’s own life toward a supportive outcome. I can guarantee that you won’t be the same as you were before, but isn’t that the point of living: growing out of the constriction and taking one’s own self-directive decisions and choices in life? What a better way to do this but within a principle where all/everyone is considered, where one recognizes one’s own potential and so lives in the world embracing the current consequential outflows of our past, because we understand that cringing about it makes no difference – and instead, we focus on applying, living and becoming the solution.

 

Within this I realize that I have actually stopped following ‘role models’ and decided to rather commit myself to be my own role model and within that become a living example for myself and others of what living as a self-responsible being implies. This is then something that entails committing to live by the principles of life in self-honesty wherein I decide to make of my life my own work of art that I can actually fully stand for and so debunk the ideas of having to follow other role models that so far have led us nowhere. Not even admiring a great man that shared with us the process of Self Forgiveness is acceptable, because in admiration one beliefs one is incapable of standing as equal to another, and that’s the whole point of walking this process: to recognize our full potential as equals within our individuality, which means: each one holds a very specific key to world-change.

 

Life is rather short, we only got one life so let’s live it every moment fully in self-creation mode.

 

Inspire yourself with people around the globe standing up and walking the process of self creation:

• 7 Year Journey To Life Process

 

 

 

The Free Desteni I Process Lite course is a first platform of self-support to learn more about ourselves, our mind and understand how we can practically improve our potentials and skills.

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• Creation’s Journey to Life
• Heaven’s Journey To Life

390. Making Decisions Based on Feelings, Not Facts

 

Continuing from:

• 387. The Love/Hate Relationship with Art
• 388. Regretting Choices and Definitions
• 389. Are Emotions Necessary to Be Creative?

Quote from “The Love/Hate Relationship with Art” entry: The point is I tried to make My definition of Art fit with what would enable me to use it to demonstrate that it is possible to change the world. However I realized that no matter how many images I make, how many pictures I take, how many great ideas I would have I was entirely mostly having an imaginative outflow of how this could operate without ever really landing it into any serious/real project. I always kept everything at a low-fi level because right after the first year in Art school, I discovered Desteni and my interests veered dramatically – hence the ‘shutting down’ of any pursue to further my career to make a name of myself etc..

 

Patterns:

1. The idea of Art as an instrument to “Change the World.” Suiting something according to my interests, to justify my ends in order to cover up another self-definition I am wanting to hold on to – in this case wanting to make the definition of art suit my current interests so that I’m able to say that ‘I’m still doing a form of art, even if it’s not conventional,’ without realizing that it’s merely a definition in itself and that as such, I have to stop making this definition suit my interest around art, and merely see the actions/deeds for what they are and imply.

2. Expecting something to ‘happen to me’, someone to ‘save me,’ someone to ‘find me’ instead of me moving myself in order to make things happen, to become my own directive principle instead of hoping, waiting or fantasizing about the things that can happen ‘in the future.’

3. The idea that something outside of myself can ‘change the world’ in itself, in this case that I could ‘change the world’ through creating art, or that art should be used to demonstrate that we can change the world, when in fact this is once again delegating to something/someone the ability to change, without realizing that there can be many catalysts for change, practical presentations for it – but it will only ever work if we implement it, integrate it, live it and become it ourselves and by ‘change’ I mean becoming an individual that takes responsibility for our creation, that learn how to coexist with everyone else as equals and as such participates to create a world where everyone is supported to live in dignity. Where does that begin? Within self only. A system, a structure can support and promote the change, but it is about each one of us integrating such change within ourselves to make it real. Therefore ‘art’ in itself cannot change the world, only we can one by one.

4. Giving up on something based on seeing ‘no result’ in a short period of time, without taking into consideration that everything in this world and reality requires actual work, time, dedication, constancy and consistency as well as patience to have something be developed in order to give fruition. So giving up on something/someone based on not getting any ‘quick results’ is rather a mechanism of self-sabotage where I am expecting things to work ‘instantaneously’ instead of considering a plan, a structure, the practical steps and timeframes, methods and ways to make something function/work to give the expected results. This means: no wishful thinking.

5. Blaming something/someone for sidetracking from my initial purposes, I have realized how we usually blame something/someone in order to not recognize our sole responsibility to our decisions, words, thoughts and deeds.

6. Making decisions in my life based on emotions and feelings, wishful thinking, desires and fantasies –  mostly going for what ‘feels good’ and avoiding what according to my ego/personalities felt ‘not right’/ ‘not good’ – instead of considering the actual physical space-time planning, structure, steps, time and consequences of the decisions

 

 

 

Self Forgiveness on these patterns:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to shape a definition of ‘art’ that would suit my personal interests of wanting it to be the ‘tool to change the world’ without realizing that in this equation I was separating myself from such change and only considering that ‘art’ had to be that ‘for me,’ and because I didn’t see results this way in the short-run then I gave it up completely, without realizing that this is a usual pattern wherein I expect things to ‘do something for me’ instead of me being the directive principle within everything that I do – as such it makes sense that a single image, or drawing or video or else can do the ‘change’ process in itself, and as such it is only a tool that can support with the realization and recognition of change that I have to still conduct, apply, live within myself as everyone else as well.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold on to this definition of art as the quote by Ernst Fischer that also later on I had a ‘fuck it they’ve done it all first’ moment when seeing that in the beginning of the Zeitgeist movie they used this quote that I was cherishing as ‘the foundation’ for my ‘art project’ in itself which is the quote from his book ‘The Necessity of Art’

“In a decaying society, art, if it is truthful, must also reflect decay. And unless it wants to break faith with its social function, art must show the world as changeable. And help to change it”

And with this, believe that I had to always s stick to these definitions, quotes and theories to justify what I wanted to do with my life as an ‘agent of social change’ and still ‘stick’ to my career, just because of the fear of being seen as a ‘dropout’ or someone that didn’t follow-through with art-creation, which is all based on the beliefs and expectations that I believed people had created upon me, because the career is definitely one that I chose for social-recognition upon something that I considered I was ‘special’ within – therefore the whole conflict of having to justify what I do within an artistic context, without realizing that if we look at it beyond definitions, the process of change and being the example of what it means to change is what I am doing and what I’ve decided to do with my life in function of creating a better world, to establish living principles of creation where there exist barely non at the moment, and as such once again using ‘artistic creations’ and creativity as tools with which to do this, without forgetting that I do not require to justify what I do within an artistic concept for the sake of ‘sticking to my career-choice’ as an idea of ‘who I am.’

I realize that instead I can share how I can apply these principles to what I do/ who I am and the practical ways in which I’ve realized we can conduct this change in our decaying society – whoever I commit myself to no longer wanting to justify what I do within this imperative need to make of my life and my decisions as ‘still’ artistic or part of my career choice, as that single theoretical link that I’m attempting to create is what re-enacts the relationship conflict in relation to me and the studies I took on, without realizing that what really matters is not a tag, a name, a definition but how these principles are lived and applied in real-practical living.

Another pattern is ‘giving up’ on something if it doesn’t satisfy my expectations and not putting it all the effort to make it work, because in the mind I always expect quantum results and having immediate effect of my expectations in this case and example, the entire intent behind everything that I would do as an ‘artistic creation/ project’ was to ‘fit in’ my own desires to make my inner process ‘artistic’ as well, and it can be done and for sure it’s even compatible – though the point here is to point out how within this starting point, I was once wanting the ‘artwork’ to do its effect by itself, and kind of hoping that someone would just ‘notice it’ and make me famous type of ideals, which is really unrealistic because nothing in physical reality really works that way

And within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imprint a form of hope and ‘waiting’ with myself and my career, my ‘art’ because I was kind of expecting that someone would knock on my door and discover my creations and make me famous type of ideal and unreality. And this is what I see I had built also around my own ‘career choice,’ wherein I had not defined a plan for my future in fact, but just kind of getting myself into the art world and having something/someone come to me or happen to me that would ‘lead me’ to become successful at it, so there was a lot of wishful thinking, positive thinking involved in wanting this to materialize ‘by itself,’ kind of only having ‘the work do its work,’ which is certainly not how reality works and as such

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to give up on my creative skills because of not seeing ‘any results,’ which is the pattern of giving up on something if not getting the expected results right away in turn, which is what happens when I do not consider the actual effort, the actual process of making something work, something be successful, any enterprise that I embark myself on and not expect it to be ‘successful’ right away, but rather work within the accumulation principle wherein the amount of time, work and effort invested onto a business/ an enterprise or anything that I have committed myself to do, is not going to be ‘minimal’ or ‘very little’ as in this reality everything takes time, effort, patience, constancy, consistency, developing further skills, developing further relationships and all of this implies that what I attempted to do with my life and my wishful thinking about my artistic career was not founded upon physical, practical planning and considerations but that I absolutely just ‘jumped into the boat’ because it sounded great and it satisfied my intentions back then when I made the decision to study art – so within this,

I realize that when we make decisions based on emotions/feelings and dreams, it will most likely be crashing down on the pavement back to reality because it was all a temporary foam that I created in my mind as ‘my future,’ without any real consideration of the work, the time, the money, the people, the places, the relationships, the materials, the skills or anything of that, but only wanting to kind of have something/someone ‘make me famous’ or ‘make me successful,’ which is no different to how we as human beings tend to be hoping and waiting that something/someone will come to save us, just because we haven’t yet realized or learned that we can only make things happen if we move within it, if we invest the time, money, effort, patience, consistency that goes with making any plan, any enterprise work.

Further support for business and non-business people on this point: Time = Money – The Soul of Money

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in my mind covertly ‘blame process’ for me not having followed through with my career, without realizing that such ‘blame’ is in fact looking at the actual regret and realizing the nature of the decisions I made in my life, wherein instead of taking absolute responsibility for my life and realizing the lack of practical planning and decision making processes that I had to make, I instead realized the flimsy planning – if any – I had created for me and my life and as such only finished school for the sake of ‘finishing it’ but my ‘heart’ as they say was not into it any longer, because I realized the expectations, dreams and ideals that I entered to school with, which all came ‘tumbling down’ when realizing the reality that I had missed in my decisions – therefore

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to spite myself in this extreme of going from the absolute experience of being ‘into my career’ and giving it the most to giving it the minimum required based on the realization of my intentions behind studying art, and here instead of just forgiving myself for that and being able to walk through it without reactions, I slowly but surely built a certain experience of overall ‘regret’ about it which is how the love-hate relationship was formed. It all happened in my mind based on the positive experience I had imprinted to the idea of studying art/becoming an artist and how when realizing such positive-feelings and imaginations and hoping and dreaming about what I could do in art, I went into the polarity opposite of deeming it as something negative/bad/superficial instead of just realizing what I had done, take self responsibility for it which in a way I did in relation to finishing studies, but within myself as well wherein I am able to stand sound with understanding the context of my past decisions, walk through the consequence without imprinting ‘the consequence’ with negative experiences, as that is where the whole inner conflict was created – and yes, it is quite unnecessary when it is just a matter of walking physical moments, experiences, processes that require my participation and direction and that’s it.

I realize that what’s done is done and as such the only gift I can give to myself is being able to prevent me from once again making decisions in my life based on ‘how I feel’ about something or someone, and instead learn from the ‘mistakes’ so to speak in order to learn how to take into consideration physical reality, practical planning, realistic considerations and of course in such ‘career decision’ processes, look at the practicality of where I can employ myself and genuinely develop a financial stability with it, because I of course now realize that I could have done it differently if my decision was to remain doing artwork, it was about investing a lot of time to it, which is what I had initially planned to do – but of course, after realizing the actual practical process required in this world, my ‘decision making’ process was almost immediate when choosing to dedicate myself to walk this process that in turn I can apply into and within any other realm that I see is most practical to assist and support others to walk the same process.

I realize here that art once again can be a tool of support for this process that I’ve decided to walk – however I could not realistically see myself investing most of my time in developing certain skills that I knew I wasn’t going to be using any longer.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like a ‘fraud’ to the teachers and the people that supported me throughout my stance in art school and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be ashamed toward them because of believing that they invested their time ‘incorrectly’ and even the ‘spot’ I had in such important school could have been used by another person that genuinely wanted to be an artist

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to take me to see ‘the bright side’ as in ‘not everything is lost because I learned a lot from some of the books, teachers and interactions in school as well as the skills,’ which in part it is so, but here it is not to once again want to ‘white wash it’ and get a positive experience out of it –here I then see things for what they are, realizing that yes I probably won’t be making etchings and using all of those techniques I learned, however if my starting point of that is ‘wasting my time’ or ‘someone else’s time,’ then I also forgive myself as that comes within the idea that I took something from someone by attending that school, without realizing that I did want to be there, I did want to learn that and as such, because we cannot turn back time I simply walked through the whole educational process till the end and that’s it. I took responsibility for my choice and now I also take responsibility for my life wherein I recognize other ways in which I can direct myself to support myself and others within this process which is my purpose in life and ‘my life’ in itself, and as such whether what I do is deemed as artistic or creative or not, is not something that matters, as this is not about definitions or how actions and words are categorized, but instead how they are lived and applied.

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to step into a career with the sole purpose and idea of ‘making a name’ for myself, to further my recognition ambitions for doing something that people would consider ‘great’ without realizing that in this, I was only spiting myself because I am the one that had to face the consequences of not properly planning my decisions in life, to make sound/physical and practical decisions and not just go for how ‘good’ it made feel and how ‘nice’ my imaginations were in relation to day-dreaming of being an artist and being famous, being recognized and having the ‘time of my life’ within the context of having money, be able to ‘change the world’ – according to my dreams – and at the same time be happy and feel ‘blessed’ as that is the kind of spiritual attitude I was into when I got into art school, quite imbued with spirituality and positive thinking which is why I also allowed myself to want to ‘attract’ success and not consider physical-doings like practical planning, assessing my skills and aptitudes etc. but only choose a career based on my ‘feeling’ of ‘being special/unique’ and having this apparent ‘gift’ to create something, without realizing that we are all capable of creating something and that me taking a decision within this delusion was most likely prone to generate consequences that I am walking through as well.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make decisions in my life in terms of choices, people, places, careers, what ‘I like’ or what makes me ‘feel special’ and what I accept in my life based on experience, based on what ‘felt good’ what felt ‘right’ according to my personalities, and veer off from that which didn’t satisfy my ego, my desire to be doing something ‘more creative’ based on how I defined ‘creativity’ on plastic arts mostly, which as I’ve walked is rather limiting if we only recognized our ability to create based on making ‘art works.’

Therefore, I realize that in my life I made many decisions based on feeling, on the experience, on the beliefs, on the expectations, on the dream-like state that I would usually fuel myself with in order to actually evade looking at the reality that I had considered was ‘too awful’ to face and to walk thoroughly as any other individual. Meaning that my decision to be ‘an artist’ was precisely to be ‘eccentric’ and to be ‘acceptable’ within such eccentricity meaning outside of the regular circles of society because of having a judgment toward ‘the system’ and ‘society’ as a whole based on seeing how politics, education systems, money works and the lack thereof, which is why upon facing this ‘insanity’ I kind of decided to make myself ‘insane’ as well as the ‘good reflection of society’ that I was planning to be and become, and so be able to ‘create’ from such image and likeness of the system. Hence the nature of self-destruction portrayed in what I created, even if I was not able to say ‘why’ I only see death and destruction mostly, sadness, depression and overall madness, which was just me trying to become that and do that to myself and the world to not face the responsibility to it, as it’s easier to ‘destroy’ than deconstruct, reconstruct and create something new and stable again.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize or ‘remember’ that my ‘initial intent’ of what I wanted to be and become in my life was in the very beginning before art was ‘in my life,’ to study a career that would make me have a lot of money and be able to ‘travel around the world’ – the usual ‘dreams’ that came with me initially wanting to become a financial advisor wherein I could use my ‘skills’ in a profitable manner. I also recognize that studying art was my way of apparently ‘spiting my parents/others’ that believed that I was going to study some ‘great and complicated career’ based on the supposed intelligence I had, wherein I realized that the only way to ‘turn the tables’ and not follow the pattern, was to study something wherein what I do wasn’t able to be graded with A’s for ‘being right’ but where I could challenge other skills and abilities that to my perception were not able to get ‘ratings,’ without realizing later on that they would still be rated in the same manner any other school work gets rated, which got me irate and furious the very first time that I considered I had placed ‘all my effort’ into something, for months on, working even in my supposed ‘leisure time’ with the attempt to get an A and I got a B and that was ‘heartbreaking’ for me because I was expecting my work to be recognized as ‘good.’ In this I realize that even if I wanted to supposedly ‘escape’ the grading system and the apparent skills I had by ‘studying art,’ I later on realized that art and the art world is no different to any other part of this system that we live in, wherein it is not this wonderland where system-laws don’t apply – and that is how I was able to also burst my own bubble of escapism when realizing that art was no different to any other part of this reality that is managed by ourselves, individuals and that it doesn’t really imply something entirely ‘different’ to any other career because it is still existent within the context of a world system where what you do is assessed and valued in order to be sold as a product so that one can have money to eat. And that makes it no different to any other career or profession – so even within this, I realized that there was no really a way ‘out’ of the system, which then became another reason to be disillusioned at ‘the art world,’ without realizing that any ‘disillusionment’ is really created based on the initial positive ideals that I had formed around it, which means: I did this all to myself and as such, it is not a ‘guilt trip’ now, as that would evade me from walking now the self-responsibility to my decisions and my life in itself and the decision making processes that I will now consider in practical and physical terms, not based on feelings/emotions and ideals.

 

 

Suggest watching the following Desteni I Process Google Hangouts:

• Angry at the World and Want to do Something about it?

• Empowerment Through Practical Solutions in a Hopeless Time

To learn more about the mind and how you can make informed decisions in your life, visit:

• Desteni
• Desteni Articles
• Destonians
• Desteni Lite Process
• Desteni I Process
• Desteni Forum
• Desteni Wiki
• Desteni Español
• Creation’s Journey to Life
• Heaven’s Journey To Life
• 7 Year Journey To Life Process

251. Does Hope Solve the Matters of the World?

“There is hope after despair and many suns after darkness” – Rumi

We tend to hope and wait for something to miraculously fix that which we accepted and allowed to happen in the first place.

Statements like Rumi’s are empty words that mean nothing/hold nothing of substance, yet create the most ‘impact’ when it comes to our feeble self interest that exists as the aspect that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to exist as, which is the mind as consciousness.

We were looking at yesterday how we have defied the natural laws of the physical reality  by creating obnoxious hierarchical schemes that a series of bubbles would never follow through with, as any arrangement that represents a point of abuse cannot simply be sustained at a physical level.

 

• Does HOPE exist or is it necessary as a ‘force’ to create this perfect physical demonstration of the inherent properties in which matter arranges itself when having to coexist with equals and working as One unit?
• Is Love required in order for these bubbles to learn how to arrange themselves in the most perfect way of coexistence that does not even require an actual push by the creator of the bubbles for the matter to arrange themselves in a clear equal disposition in reality ?
• Is Peace required for them to agree to coexist within the most stable form wherein all bubbles share an equal amount of space from the first bubble upon which the unit is being built upon?

 

The answer to all of the above is: No, and this is one single and plain demonstration of how no one had to speak any form of airy-fairy words to create such perfect arrangement of matter in front of our eyes. There is no Resistance stemming from the bubbles to do this – is this a godly force at hand then?*

What has happened with us human beings and words is that we have used them as energy, as consciousness instead of using words as a physical livable consideration of the best way in which we can in fact live as. This means that what we have become is the result of having neglected physical reality and followed only energy as either positive or negative experiences that in no way have a direct correlation to physical reality, but we have instead imposed such experiences onto the physical laws as a violation to this physical natural disposition, creating our current chaos/ inequality/ abuse and suffering just because of having ignored that principles we should all inherently direct ourselves as.

 

What does this mean?

 

The moment one react to statements like “There is hope after despair and many suns after darkness” can only indicate that: You are existing only as a programmed mind to react with a self-defined positive experience to words that indicate ‘you have nothing to do, you just have to remain in your state of inertia’ wherein a future projection/ Imagination process must take place for you to envision this marvelous outcome after the ‘darkness’ which is what we are currently existing as according to this statement, which is precisely in reverse, I’d say. We are in the era of absolute enlightenment as the ultimate demonstration of ego in its full splendor that uses words like Hope, Love, Peace and Light, Faith, Bliss as a way to Ignore the physical laws that we have violated in the first place, leading us to what Rumi and many other light and love spiritual people consider ‘darkness’ as the ‘bad and the negative.’

 

Test that for yourself – make some bubbles as it is explained within the section of The Code episode of The sphere, bubbles and how nature’s economic laws function – now, speak to the bubbles the word HOPE and see if their arrangement changes to maybe some other marvelous arrangement of sorts, you can also try voicing love, light, peace, joy, happiness, bliss, light, whatever you consider might be ‘supportive’ for these bubbles to coexist. You can do the opposite then, speak darkness, bad, evil, madness, violence, guilt, remorse, shame and see if the bubbles change their arrangement.

What will happen most likely is that they wont’ change no matter how much good positive vibrations/ words you speak to them, their physical stability is not affected by human consciousness.

 

Now, if you do the same experiment with a human being, most likely the person will react to all such words in both a negative and a positive experience – their body will most certainly remain functioning, breathing, stable as a physical unit, but who they are as the mind might go into an array of energetic experiences that they might even follow through with further imaginations, pictures, judgments, reactions, internal conversations, fears and a plethora of mind-experiences that will eventually create an effect upon the physical body. And so, it would be very clear how we are the only ones that create an instability through our words accepted and allowed to exist only as Energy and participate in such experiences while disregarding the physicality, the constancy and consistency of breath as that certainty of who we really are.  It should be very clear with this how we are our own disease and we are our own cure.

 

The question is, why would we need ‘hope’ for things to get better if we can instead work on ourselves individually to understand which words are in fact livable, which words can be definitely actions that can be physically lived as humanity to be able to coexist in such a perfect arrangement like the bubbles above? The answer is: there is no need for hope, we have just created these words to protect self interest, because the reality is that we have not willed ourselves to coexist in such equality-arrangement as bubbles and acting as one single unit composed of various individualized expressions, all sharing equal parts of the main foundation which is the bubble in the center. This thus implies that we don’t really require hope or imagination or reactions of emotions and feelings to create a solution in this world and that the only obstacle is our own ego/ self interest/ desire to have ‘more’ of space while neglecting that such decisions lead to unbearable consequences, which is what we are living now in our world.

 

The solution is being shown by the bubbles themselves which are the same laws that nature in itself is also functioning as. The only external factor that has caused consequence is the human being of course, and not even who we are as physical beings as our physical bodies function within similar processes as any organic entity in this world – thus, it is only who we are as consciousness, as the energy system that has taken the wheel of our beingness in order to exist as the ultimate self interest experience wherein we have certainly Not ever questioned why it is that we have accepted some to have it all and some to have none and as such, create the most heinous imbalance in reality that has existed from the very beginning of our existence, we have just come to the pinnacle of it again and as such, we’re also existing in the most important times we’ll ever face in our current reality: the absolute possibility of Self-Correction and Self-Responsibility in order to align ourselves to a Best for All Outcome.

 

We are presenting the Equal Money System which is exemplified perfectly by the natural arrangement of the bubbles above. Each individual sharing, coexisting as equals with equal support and opportunity to live in the most optimal condition while coexisting in one single unit as a whole.

Many say nature is wise, but it is even wiser to actually learn from the physical laws that are existing as the arrangement that enables the sustainability and trust that we can have on the constancy and consistency that this physical reality represents, and actually implement it as the laws and regulations we can found our lives upon on Earth – who we are as the mind varies from second to second, from word to word spoken to another human being as the example I placed above – how could such flimsy self-experience could be the reality of ourselves? How could we be trust worthy with life if we dare to abuse the physical in the name of an energetic positive or negative experience? We simply can’t.

 

The Equality System also represents a physical preventive set of regulations that will ensure no need for hope or faith is ever looked for again within humans, it is quite obvious that such words stem after the ‘boat has sunk’ and as such, represent an illusory correction to a problem that could have been prevented in the first place. There is absolutely no point in indulging in words that represent a nothingness, an insubstantiality that cannot be physically lived but instead, we can simply erase Hope from our vocabulary and turn it into a disposition and willingness to coexist as equals, without any resistance, without any fear as those points can only exist within the who we are as the ego of the mind, as consciousness.

 

Bubbles of self interest floating around just fall and disappear – bubbles that stick together become more resistant as they are sharing their beingness to create a more stable structure, even if of course eventually all bubbles will be burst, just like ourselves having a defined lifetime wherein the last question that I’ll leave here is the following:

 

It’s clear that all of that which is not directly linked to and supporting what is Real as the physical reality will have to be eliminated, the same as any word that is simply not supporting the expression of who we really are but instead have become the very shackles we have accepted and allowed as a way to remain idle, waiting and hoping for something to resolve the Matters at Hand.

*“If you cannot ‘drive’ the ‘Matter-within’ which is the ‘Matter’ of what is ‘Important’ for ‘Everyone’, the ‘Matter of Equality’ -How can you ‘expect’ ‘Equality’ – to ‘Support-You?’   If you are not ‘willing’ to ‘give-up’, that which is ‘causing’ the ‘Problem’ in ‘Matter’, in ‘Space-Time’. In the ‘Physical-Reality’, which is an ‘Unequal Money System’. An ‘System’ that ‘do-not give’, to ‘each-one’ a ‘Support Structure’ to make the ‘most’ of ‘this Life’, in the ‘Physical’ – If one do-not take that-on, and Stop that – Why should ‘Existence’ ‘Matter’ ‘about-You’? Why should ‘Existence’ ‘Care’ ‘about-You’? Because that which you could ‘do-something-about’, you did not… ‘Matter’ to ‘you.’ It didn’t ‘Matter’. It wasn’t…“I don’t..It doesn’t ‘Matter’, I mean. I… ‘See’ if I ‘Care’. Why should-it ‘Matter’ to ‘Me’? I mean, ‘My Life’ is ‘Fine’. I’m ‘Happy’. I mean, I’ve ‘Worked Hard’ to be ‘Happy’! ”   Really? Yes, your ‘Genetics’ fell by a ‘luck-shot’ in a ‘place’ where you have ‘Money’. You’re in a ‘Casino’. Now you’re a ‘little-picture’ walking around Here – is ‘Happy’. With a ‘Smile’. Is that ‘really’ the ‘Case’? It’s Not. ‘How’ ‘Far’ are you ‘going-to-go’ to ‘Expose’ the ‘Matter-at-Hand’? ‘How’ ‘Far’ are you ‘going-to-go’ to ‘Make-Sure? Because, unless one take this ‘Matter’ to it’s ‘Conclusion’, there is a ‘Problem’, isn’t it?   You have ‘no-option’ but to take this ‘Matter’ to ‘Conclusion’. To ‘bring-about’ a ‘Directive Structure’ within ‘Matter’ that ‘Matters‘, for ‘Everyone’. And that put ‘Matters‘ in this Reality, in such a way, that ‘Everyone Matters‘ – Equally. That should be the ‘only-thing’ that ‘Matters‘, until it’s ‘Done’. Nothing else is ‘really’ ‘of-any-matter’, is it? Everything else that ‘takes’ one’s ‘attention-away’ from this ‘Matter’ = is ‘Deliberate Deception’. One should ‘treat-it’ as-’such’. ‘Focused’ on a ‘Solution’, in-’Matter’, about ‘things’ that ‘Matter’, to ‘all Parts of Life’, ‘Every Being’, ‘Here’. Once this ‘Matter’ is taken-care-of, we will have a Reality where things ‘Matter’. That will be ‘quite nice’, isn’t it?   So – Let’s ‘sort-out’ the ‘Matter-at-Hand’. – Bernard Poolman – May 24th,  2010

 

Would you want to remain only as a lonely bubble drifting around with no direction or cause, or would you want to be a bubble that instead joins other bubbles to create a stable and consistent environment that is for sure a more enjoyable way of living as one and in equality?

If you opt for the second choice, join us at

• 
  

  Desteni Forum

• Desteni I Process

• Desteni Lite Process – Free Online Course

• Journey To Life Blogs

• Equal Money System

 

Vlogs:

• Gian’s Vlog on Hope

• Bernard Poolman: Give Up All Hope

• Bernard Poolman – Most Positive Message on Earth

• 2012 – Equal Money is an Act of Mercy

 

Blogs:

• Day 251: ESP and God – ADC – Part 98

• Creating the Future, from the Past in the Present (Part Two): DAY 251

 

• 2012 The End of the battle Matter vs. Spirit

• Realize the Matters of the Matter that Matters

 

 

Interviews to Understand the Physical Matters in this world and how to walk through a Self Corrective process to ensure we Never again recreate the use of hope but instead live as a constant solution to this reality.

• Quantum Systemization – The Energy conservation System of Words – Part 7

• Self Mastery and Consequences – Part 136+137

• Demons in the Afterlife – Part 17

243. The Sublime and the End of the World

While listening to the Doomsday Activist Life Review, I realized that I had precisely gone for the exhilaration and experience of having a certain moment wherein ‘something’ had to happen in this world  as an ultimate doomsday scenario/ Armageddon type of event, because there were just ‘too many points converging into the same day’ that it was almost undeniable that something would happen, but what? I actually thought for a moment that consciousness would cease to exist that day  – lol – and before Desteni, I thought it was time for a major catastrophe that I simply ‘dreamed of.’

 

“So, it’s interesting that, it has never been Questioned: “Why are there so many different, varying “One’s” and each One believe itself to be “the Right One.” I mean, all the different Prophecies/Predictions cannot ‘materialize’ Simultaneously…with some believing in Ascension, others Jesus coming, others The End of the World by a physical/natural Occurrence and all the different Prophecies/Predictions are aligned with a particular Spirituality/Religion/Movement/Science and each one of those believe themselves to be “the Real Deal”. That, within this – human beings have not seen, realised and understood what all these “the One’s / Chosen One’s” have in common: they abdicate All Responsibility of Individual Human Beings to/as what ‘life on earth’ is/has become, and facilitate more as a distraction and preoccupation from/of Self-Responsibility, Life Responsibility to/as this Physical Existence.” – Sunette Spies *

 

To understand this point better and how I made of ‘The End of the World’  ‘my theme’ and favorite topic is looking also at some of the artwork that I made, which was mostly doomsday-like which I explain here  2008 Paintings portraying slavery of system and can be reviewed at the top of this blog in the Artwork section.

 

Even after a while I kept doing the same thing, doing series of different characters that would end up being part of this depiction of the end of the world, which reveals how much I was truly expecting it, desiring it, making it a recurrent topic and driving-force to be ‘creative’ just because I would get a kick out of it. This is what I could Identify as Sublime after reading Heaven’s Journey To Life blog that I will quote later on.

 

According to Schopenhauer and the ‘types of sublime’ I will be looking at are:

• Sublime – Turbulent Nature. (Pleasure from perceiving objects that threaten to hurt or destroy observer).
• Full Feeling of Sublime – Overpowering turbulent Nature. (Pleasure from beholding very violent, destructive objects).

 

According to E. Burke: “With his Philosophical Enquiry into the Origin of our Ideas of the Sublime and Beautiful (1757) Edmund Burke defined canonically its aesthetical prominence as the satisfaction arising from the removal of an imminent threat.” – Wiki Entry on Sublime

 

Last Man on Earth 2009

 

I’ll place one ‘static example.’ This is the last man on Earth. And I would usually depict people having One eye closed, probably depicting that we have always deliberately ‘played blind’ to not see what we are doing to each other and this world, and this man as the last man on Earth turned eventually one-side blind as a result of having neglected reality. It also expresses the shame and regret about what we’ve done. His appearance is deliberately depicting our self consumption when living for the ideals of the ‘who we are’ in the mind– his clothes denote a battered ‘elitist lifestyle’ that has gone through trials and tribulations, some sort of survival point upon the death of the rest of humanity and animas. He’s standing upon a thousand words yet he seems to have nothing to say but his heart is beating and his lungs seem in a good state – he is alive. His hands have turned into the symbol that depicts life, he might be able to start from scratch to create a new world that supports life in Equality, if he can forgive himself past all the regret.

 

Continuing from:

• 241. The EndGame Show: 2012

• 242. Overwhelmed by the Abuse upon Life?
  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the ‘end of the world scenarios’ as a source of excitement and exhilaration due to the actual fear that I would have with regards to witnessing an ‘end of the world’ scenario, without actually taking into consideration what such ‘end’ would mean and how it is that we would be in essence drawing ourselves back to zero and actually miss out the opportunity to use what is already here as this world and simply give it direction within a new consideration, a new path which is Life in Equality,  and within this: there is no need to destroy/ obliterate the world, but we can simply agree to slowly but surely go stopping our current ways in which we are existing as world-system and civilization and consider new ways of living wherein we can start regarding the environment/ the ecosystem as an actual living being equal and one to ourselves, and within that, establish solutions so that we stop the mass extinction, abuse and exploitation of life in the name of our personal benefits as ‘progress’ and ‘evolution’ that is only the result of us disregarding life and using it to power up our mind-realities of what ‘advancements’ are supposed to be like, disregarding the fact that the life of human beings, animals, plants is not taken into consideration when only using what is here in the name of power/ success/ evolution that is in fact only the evolution of the mind, not life quality. This also implies that I only used this ‘hype’ to tag along and generate an entire personality based on this ‘death and destruction’ ideals, simply because it is so much easier to hope for the end of the world than actually doing something to sort it out and create a new start for all.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rejoice and get excited about a possible ‘something’ happening in 2012 in order to wake up humanity, and expecting some form of cloudy messy doomsday on a particular date, without realizing that within such waiting it is only a distraction and entertainment to not look at the reality that is already here and pretty much existing  in a doomsday scenario, wherein the billions that have no support from the system to live in dignity live a doomsday on a daily basis – within this (Watch ‘In Heaven everything is fine’ video below.)

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to romanticize this ‘end of the world’ for my own entertainment and ‘delight’ as that expectation and getting a kick out of participating in imagination as all sorts of pictures and end of the world scenes that I would simply dedicate myself to paint, because I wanted to in one way or another be able to ‘predict’ what would happen and as such, also depict myself as one of the last standing on Earth, being a ‘chosen one’ which is the actual desire that I had and wanted to fulfill as a self-prophecy that I wanted to witness, no different to me being expecting a certain ‘event’ such as a concert or a trip and generating the same amount of expectation and excitement about it, which proves to what extent I actually disregarded what such pain and suffering really Is and only made images about it for the sake of propelling my own fascinations as the actual fear that I had toward witnessing some form of ultimate destruction on Earth – which is what I will have to go through as what I in fact experienced. Sublime experience.

 

Now, I suggest reading HOPE – The Metaphysical Carrot: DAY 237

and specifically HOPE – the Metaphysical Carrot (Part 3): DAY 239 

 

I left a comment there with the following realization:

Concepts like the ‘sublime’ have become clear through reading this, which is something I would link to 2012 in the past, all of this from the branch within philosophy and aesthetics of an image/painting that would cause you this ‘sublime experience’ as an actual fear turned into a point of attraction/ rejoice – which is also what Mykey explained in #9 Demons in the Afterlife Interview – all makes sense now.

Here I share some on this point from the Wiki entry on sublime:

“Burke’s treatise is also notable for focusing on the physiological effects of the sublime, in particular the dual emotional quality of fear and attraction noted by other writers. Burke described the sensation attributed to the sublime as a “negative pain” which he called delight, and which is distinct from positive pleasure. Delight is taken to result from the removal of pain (caused by confronting the sublime object) and is supposedly more intense than positive pleasure.”http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sublime_(philosophy)

So essentially, same mechanism of ‘hope’ but sublime is more focused even more so just on the energetic experience in itself, without any form of ‘change’ but plain delight/ pleasure and all of that which is caused when looking at terror from afar. What a great mindfuckistic reality we have created. It is definitely time to stop.

 

I cannot say anything else but, this is an entire energetic experience that I had been quite keen on, the point of turning a fear into a fascination and the ‘end of the world’ is one of the fascinations I cultivated ever since I was probably a 5 years old or so when I wanted to be alien abducted with my dad, lol which is precisely what I describe in that video, later on fueled by songs like ‘Spaceman’ by Babylon Zoo – lol. Now, I am reviewing this just to see to what extent we can turn fears into fascinations and even more so, making it a point of pleasure/ excitement/ exhilaration and entertainment/distraction for MY personal experience, MY satisfaction, MY own delight, MY inspiration, depressions and general lack of desire to live, simply because of being subsumed in this ‘I want it all to end’ type of self-experience, just an absolute victimization that has permeated my being till this very day, as I see that any form of ‘lack of drive’ is just because I am not feeding anymore my usual energetic experiences that I had linked to a constant ‘looking forward’ to the future, but instead, the hereness that I am integrating myself as is experienced as a junky going on rehab, that’s what is ‘tough’ about this process and this is but one aspect of what I will be ‘withdrawing’ from.

 

Even the music that I listened to like Godspeed You Black Emperor – my favorite band within the schemes of my last ‘music junky’ fanatic phase –  I could define as this type of ‘Sublime’ / End of the world experience- you can read their story here for the first time told by themselves, since they are the type of people that would rather not speak at all but ‘let their music speak’ and have a look at the type of mentality I was absolutely drawn to, which became my inspiration on a daily basis within my life some 6 years ago.  I’ll leave a couple of videos I made with their music at the end of this blog.

 

When placing all of this little world of my own fascinations into perspective of the actual reality that is going on, I see that I am still drawn to this ‘romantic’ side of reality instead of focusing on the actuality of what is here and focusing not on cultivating further experiences I might get from music or arts in this doomsday-everything is fucked-vein for that matter, but focusing on actual reality considerations that I can educate myself on in order to stop any form of personal-endeavors to cultivate my fascinations instead of taking Self Responsibility for what is here.

 

So I’ll be walking this ‘branch’ of my artistic personality related to the sublime specifically and end of the world/lack of desire to live in blogs to come. This is what happens when a single character such as the ‘tormented artist’ in reality justifies absolute irresponsibility that becomes a morbid fascination and delight and see it as ‘okay’ it is an aesthetic category, it’s okay to cultivate it. Good for you, little artist.

 

Must Read Blogs:

• Day 243: Happy Birthday and God – ADC – Part 90

• This blog is part of the After Death Communication Series

• *The Chosen One (Part Three): DAY 243

 

Interviews:

• Quantum Systemization- The Maze of Amazement System- 4

• Life Review – A Doomsday Activist

• The Consciousness of the Frog – Part 1

 

My End of the World video creations:

• Dead Flag Blues (Godspeed You Black Emperor)

• 2012 WAR NO MORE (Sleep by GYBE)

• The Shape of Things to Come

• In Heaven Everything is Fine

240. Inequality in Education: Everyone’s Responsibility

“the Education System that caters for only a select few Intellectuals that in the Teacher’s eyes are guarded as “special, important, unique, elitist, chosen” with regards to Intellect and their Future in/as the World System, with the World System again in its relationship to MONEY only cater for a minority / select few in their relationship to Money to be “special, important, unique, elitist, chosen”. And in this – the Teachers, and also not those within the World System, would ever consider standing up for an equal and one solution to ensure that All Children have an equal and one opportunity to Education, and so eventually Money; because we’re all so blinded by Hope/Promise in our Minds that one day something may/might Change, while we continue living in/as the systems of this world that is perpetuating inequality, separation and Consequence. All of which is the same that 2012, that those that define themselves as “special, important, unique, elitist, chosen”, would remain so in their Minds, in their relationship to their Hope and Promise, without ever questioning, but “what about an actual, real, tangible Equal and One Solution for all, within and as this Physical Existence”, and would not have a ‘care in the World about the Rest’…Only Themselves.” – Sunette Spies*

 

Continuing from:

• 230. Opposing My Roots
• 235. Intelligence = Profitable Props for the Ego
• 236. Perfect Slave with Badges of Honor
• 237. Living IntelliSense as Life in Equality
• 238. I KNOW I Can
• 239. Preventing Failures in Life

 

I will share some ingrained memories I have wherein at the moment I placed myself to review the inequality I witnessed in the schooling system, the memories that came up were those that I experienced from first grade of kindergarten to 1st grade of elementary school – three different contexts and people wherein I created the awareness of there being people that had a really tough time within school, but, I did nothing about it, I simply stared just as everyone else and accepted the fact that there was something inherently wrong within them.  As Sunette explains in the quote above, I played that role of being ‘the teacher’s favorite,’ and have placed myself in the victimized position of being teased for being that, even if many others wanted my position: both poles or any ‘side’ for that matter that is not standing in equality is equally fucked, because even if you get the recognition from the adults, you get bashed by your peers. This is how it is so vital to expose how within this ‘good/bad’ student and everyone else in between create the basis of inequality within society, because one grows up believing that one is really a ‘chosen one’ to become this great thing and that there will invariably those that will have to be below you for whatever reasons – I.Q., economic standards, ethnicity, apparent lack of skills etc.  And I witnessed that myself. 

 

The points Ill share here are the moments wherein within me I went into a ‘cannot compute’ experience, simply because of probably wanting to ‘do something about it,’ but just like any other group psychology situation, I remained quiet, I accepted the outcomes without a question. One can say, well you were a little kid, but the fact that these memories are still here imply that I was in fact aware of what went on that it created an effect within me in order to create certain beliefs of people’s abilities and skills.

 

School system – Writing

What happens is that you become completely enthralled with this idea of success that one miss out all those ‘left behind’ that just like with ‘poor people,’ the usual belief is that it’s their fault, they are lazy, they don’t do things properly, they have certain nutritional problems and their minds can’t function properly, they just can’t ever be good enough, they are poor and their parents were poor and have no proper education – all of this is part of what I have participated as well within backchat, without ever questioning further why was this monetary inequality an aspect that could influence a person’s development in school.

 

The inequality witnessed in school began as early as kindergarten in my experience and first memories.  At the end of first year of kindergarten, we were going through our final evaluations that consisted of identifying the colors and some other basic stuff, and one of  my classmates could not learn the colors properly, he failed twice – or maybe more times probably – to differentiate them and he essentially was declared as the first kid that had ever flunked  first grade of kindergarten… I was shocked and saddened for him, I could not ‘get it,’ why he could not learn the colors and would always get it wrong. I remember others making fun of it of course, I could not make fun of that, but did think there was something inherently wrong because to me it was ‘so easy’ – but then came the usual shoving the point aside as an  ‘anyways!’ and accepting the fact that he was lazy with school work and he simply was inherently flawed.  He was taken to another school and as such, just like anything else that ‘came to pass’ I never questioned such event ever again until now.

 

Next memory is third grade – kindergarten – exchange student from New York, he was taken to my school since it was a bilingual one. I can’t understand how I was able to pick up what he was saying – or maybe I made it all up  since I was only 6 years old – but we got to know that his parents were getting divorced, he was like 8 years old but was placed in our grade to learn Spanish. He was in such an emotional turmoil, he’d cry in class, throw tantrums and everyone including myself would only stare at him as if he was quite the rare specimen for behaving that way in school which would distract others and essentially take the teacher’s attention to calm him down, also he would not generally be willing to participate with the rest of the activities. I ended up liking him and playing with him sometimes and found out he was ‘normal’ when not dealing with school stuff, seems he was only having a problem with authority and our grumpy teacher, who I must say was a good teacher, but extremely strict for kindergarten kids and was quite impatient, so… he suffered a lot with her. Lol he would whisper us all the answers in our English class, but obviously he did not do good in any other subject besides English,  it’s as if he was in school in an attempt for someone to educate him while his parents were missing out a crucial time of his upbringing and on top of that, in a foreign country among kids that cannot understand everything you’re saying, quite an irresponsible move from everyone involved in that.

We never question how the lives of such children will be affected  in their educational process at school by external situations,  such as parents breaking up and only reprimand them further for not being able to ‘focus and pay attention’  instead of actually learning how to speak with them and establish a point of support throughout their experience.  I do remember my teacher speaking a lot with him, I would get a sense of tension and nervousness because of not knowing what to do while witnessing the levels of instability he presented – one can say that in our  current definitions of ‘mental disorders’ he would have probably been medicated, not sure even if he even was already. He was hyperactive and quite a cool kid obviously, but it’s really unacceptable how we do not have any form of consideration and regard to support people that are mostly living out a consequential outflow of some parental irresponsibility, as well as an education system that is not designed to consider the individual’s experience and provide specialized support for them.

 

Third memory – primary school, first grade, 7 years old. One of our classmates that I realized was from a ‘lower class’ is asked to go to the blackboard to do some basic maths. Now, this point I have to make clear, I grew up going to private schools, this is a ‘common thing’ when your parents have sufficient money to do so, just because public schools here are not providing ‘great education’ and obviously, the majority of the population is educated in them. Proof is I had one just around the corner of my house and I would go to one far away just to have the education that I got.  And so, it was a well known fact that people with scarce money would go to public schools – and parents that would make a big effort to send their kids to private schools were then quite a rare thing to witness, but it was so with this kid.  So, he went up to the blackboard and he simply stared at it, twitching his eyes, running in circles throughout the whole process only managing to mark lots of dots on the blackboard, but no number at all, he was quite nervous, so much that I would get nervous as well while looking at him, asking myself how come he can’t do that basic simple operation! I don’t know how or why. But I immediately associated the fact that ‘he didn’t have much money, his parents were not that well educated, hence he had learning problems.’ He had lots of problems to ‘make it,’ he only lasted one or two years within the same school, same problem: too strict, almost zero tolerance to kids fucking up which proves the point of how throughout the years we ended up being reduced to a group of 7 people and that was quite the ‘perfect’ elitist learning experience, which is what I owe to greatly my current skills.

Just to give you an idea of what happens when you work in a reduced group at school: we began looking at topics that were meant for junior high – such as algebra, trigonometry, equations, etc. in our last grade of elementary school. We were able to finish our regular curriculum long before the scheduled time and so, we would go out to museums, factories to witness production processes and other places. We then would go out to eat, watch movies and so forth, lol, it was certainly not a regular  school experience, most certainly a privileged one I’d say – but I had no reference of other kid’s experience except through TV or something like that. which I later on went through as well and realized what a ‘real school experience’ was in terms of having different ‘types of people’ and everyone just getting along with certain people and still having the same fucked up hierarchical schemes of ‘good students and bad students,’ that remained a constant of course. Even in the reduced number of 7, hierarchical positions remained just because of how grading systems work.

 

So, we can see how the optimal point of education would be to not have a schooling experience like the one we have now, but maybe smaller groups of study that can learn the basic skills, math, language and have personalized support to develop one’s skills and interests. This learning process in an Equal Money System won’t be any longer motivated as an indoctrination process to ‘equalize people’ to a hierarchical system, but rather giving actual support to people to develop themselves.

Also in the equality system, education will begin at home with the parents, we are able to develop an equal stability that will reflect upon the child’s development in the learning process and throughout their entire lifetime. We can already see how this primordial flaws that begin at home and how the first days at school can define a person’s experience for a lifetime. It is absolutely ridiculous to accept the ‘limitations’ I have placed in this blog as ‘real problems’ or unsurpassable obstacles. Hence, we are here to definitely become aware of what we’ve become and how we have to essentially start from scratch to educate ourselves as living beings that are able to support each other to Live, because in the end, that’s what actually Matters within the Education process:  stopping linking education to survival-mode skills to make the most money through competing against others,  which is the enforced conditioning we currently call ‘educational process’

 

To come, self forgiveness, self corrective statements for having never questioned the privileged life in education I had and how within that, I inherently accepted the above mentioned ‘flaws’ and inequality while continuing my career to seek my personal interests and leaving the rest ‘behind,’ without asking any further questions.

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Blogs:

HOPE – the Metaphysical Carrot (Part 4): DAY 240

Day 240: Apocalypse in Heaven – ADC – Part 87

This blog is part of the After Death Communication Series

 

Interviews:

• Life Review – I am a Nerd and Proud of it

• Revision de Vida – Soy un Nerd y Orgulloso de ello

• Life Review – My Life as a Teacher

• Life Review – High Expectations for my Child’s Future

• The Soul of Money – Part 7

• Bernard Poolman – What the FAQ – Equal Money System

Day 39: Hypocrisy

 

hypocrisy
n   the practice of claiming to have higher standards or more laudable beliefs than is the case.
hupokrisis ‘acting of a theatrical part’, from hupokrinesthai ‘play a part, pretend’.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever judge another being as being hypocrite without realizing that we have all become hypocrites the moment that we live according to the idea that we want to fulfill of ourselves in our minds, chasing our wants, needs and desires and using all means available to achieve them, wherein we portray ourselves as a character that is able to ‘get what one wants’ by using deceptive means that in no way consider life and what is best for all, but only self interest and personal gratification.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge people in my reality as hypocrites toward myself, when in fact the only one that was judging them was myself in my secret mind, believing that because ‘they need me/ they require my stuff’ they are being hypocrite toward me just to keep things ‘at ease’ around, without realizing that I have been the only one creating the point of hypocrisy by having thoughts, judgments about others in my mind that I have justified in self righteousness wherein projecting blame toward others makes me ‘the victim’ and the ‘good person’ that is ‘good spirited’ and is ‘true’ to herself – without realizing that the very act of judging and having thoughts in the back of my head about others that they can in no way see/ be aware of is making me exactly that which I am judging others for:a hypocrite.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that we have all always been hypocrites as that has become ‘the way’ to survive in a dog eat dog world, wherein pretending to care, pretending to be interested in another’s life, about animals, about the environment, about those in need comes like a ‘nice thought’ that makes us feel like we are ‘considerate’ toward fellow living beings, just to eventually in one second forget about it and continue living our lives, pursuing happiness, scheming ways to win, seeing how we can get the most with the least inversion, planning out ways to become effective within the system that functions in corruption and dishonesty by playing the game, without having ever considered that the acceptance of such constant scheming to be ‘more,’ to be ‘above others’ is what is driving this entire Earth to its absolute depletion, wherein everything that will be left-  if we don’t stop ourselves -is our dreams of chasing after the elusive pot of gold in the name of personal ‘power,’ that can only exist as an illusion within the delusional and schizophrenic monetary system that is based upon abuse and not life.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge others as hypocrites for having approaching me in the name of self-interest and not in a ‘genuine’ way, without realizing that there are no ‘genuine intentions’ in this world wherein we have all bound ourselves to a system of survivalism, where the one that is able to be the best liar and ‘fool’ the most is the one that gets the most power as the ultimate reward = money in the world – hence how could I have ever gotten ‘hurt’ by seeing the truth of ‘others’ intentions’ without realizing that I have ruled my life according to the same principle of having to play the rules of this abusive game in order to survive, which are rules that I had never questioned and that I had accepted as ‘how things are’ and in that, justify all abuse and neglect toward life, which became me accepting hypocrisy as ‘who I am’ toward everyone and everything in this world, pretending to be ‘just fine’ while in fact, I could only deem that ‘everything is fine’ by deliberately accepting lies as truth and making myself ‘more’ through such ‘truths,’ as knowledge and information that I have defined as ‘who I am’ – in this

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become equally deceptive and hypocrite the moment that I accepted another to be and become only a personality, a set of preferences, beliefs, judgments, values, words, pictures, emotions and feelings that I have accepted as ‘who I am/ who others are,’ which is in fact accepting the abuse of life ‘as life’ and pretend that we and everyone in this world were in fact ‘living,’ while in reality, we have all become hypocrites in pretending to live while abusing life, regardless of the evidence that is here every single day, in every moment  wherein animals are going extinct due to our abuse, people die out of sheer human negligence to provide unconditional life support, the environment is extremely exploited in the name of personal power, in the name of human supremacy over all other life forms that are regarded as ‘less than,’ which in fact makes me and all that have defined ourselves as our ego, our personality, our beliefs, our dreams, our feelings, emotions, preferences as hypocrites toward life, because we never dared to question ‘who we are’ in relation to life and how come that our ‘lives’ could only be fueled by using what is unconditionally here as the Earth and what we call ‘resources’ and selling it for our own personal ‘benefit’ which is translated to money as power in this world-system.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become the ultimate hypocrite by believing that I could point out ‘flaws’ in others, while not even having dared to realize that who I am is the product of a society and a world built upon lies wherein no genuine thoughts, intentions and values have ever existed, because we’ve sold life in the name of money which means that whatever I ever pondered as genuine, as ‘sincere’ within me/ others was in fact part of the lies to keep myself within the belief that ‘I am a good person’ / ‘I am trust worthy’ – not wanting to see that this can only exist as long as ‘I am protected’ and I have money in my pocket as a form of security – otherwise, when my very own survival is threatened, all ‘honesty’ and ‘sincere intentions’ would be dumped out of the window because reality then knocks at our door to realize that: nothing that we have ever perceived to be ‘good natured’ was in fact so, as it had always been a cover up, a make-up for the inherent negative experience that we have all stemmed from since the inception and conception of ourselves within this existence. (Read Sunette’s blog for more)

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to believe that I was sincere and a genuine ‘good hearted’ person, without realizing that I used this as a way to manipulate my reality to obtain and gain that which I knew would make me ‘worthy’ at the eyes of others in society and in that, being able to eventually create a ‘good reputation’ that can be translated as ‘good source of money’ in a system wherein personalities that are presented as ‘good willed,’ ‘sincere’ and ‘honest’ are ‘rare to find,’ yet not realizing that any self-perception of being ‘good natured’ and ‘honest’/ sincere has only been a way to continue surviving in the ‘good side’ of reality, while avoiding and deliberately covering up the ‘bad side’ which is how I had deemed others to be: hypocrites, cheaters, liars without daring to see how the very scheming and planning of my own life, myself, my personality and the picture presentation that I built of myself toward others, was aiming at serving two gods –  wanting to do ‘good’ to life but wanting to preserve my specialness and my recognition in the system as a way to be able to continue abusing/living a ‘good life,’ yet pretending to care about those that were ‘less fortunate’ than myself.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that I’ve become the very epitome of hypocrisy, not only as an individual but as humanity, as an entire race that has dared to pretend that ‘everything is fine’ and we all go walking our days, seeking to ‘make it’ and looking for our greatest next excitement and successful living, living to the ‘max’ while neglecting all the effects and consequences of having lived by the law of self-interest throughout our existence, which is now facing a turning point that affects us all, and that must be a wake up call for everyone that is already seeing and living the consequences of our endless disregard toward life.

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to judge smiles as a sign of hypocrisy without realizing that I would play out the exact same mechanism every time that I actually perceived a potential ‘threat’ or ‘antagonism’ from another, wherein the positive attitude such as unconsciously smiling was used to ‘soften’ any form of hostility that I could be facing in such moments, which reveals how being ‘affable’ and ‘good natured’ as an overall positive attitude is actually stemming from fear of conflict, fear of having enemies, fear of antagonism wherein through deception and lies we can ‘buy’ another to have them be ‘on our side’ in a world wherein only self interest can be the reason to divide and conquer.

 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I have been a hypocrite from the very first stages in my life wherein I knew that presenting an ‘adorable expression’ would lead family, teachers, older people to be fascinated by me and in that, have everyone just ‘loving me’ and ‘appreciating me’ which would make me feel ‘good’ as the positive reward that I then became so used to constantly and continuously obtain from others – in this

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that hypocrisy became the deceptive portrayal of a decorative positive experience toward people as my modus vivendi, in order to always have everyone/ the most ‘on my side’ and ‘agreeing’ with me, wherein I ensured that all things would always work according to ‘my plans/ my way,’ which means that hypocrisy became the ultimate manipulation to always get what I want, how I want it and whenever I want it, through instilling sympathy for me as the devil that looked for ways and means to always get ‘the most of the cake,’ as all the positive energy experience that attention, care, money and compliments that I could gather from others, in order to then ‘value’ myself as ‘worthy’ because others could see me/ consider me as ‘worthy’ and a ‘valuable person.’

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to accept positive rewards toward my hypocrisy which made a professional life-long hypocrite that knew how to ‘handle’ the system through creating and developing different personalities according to ‘where’ and with whom I was in my world, wherein I learned that different tricks as behavior, personality, words, self-presentation could work different according to each moment, each person to obtain my positive reward  becoming a chameleon that is multi-personality based,  and never ever considering this as something that was signifying deception and dishonesty, because I thought that everyone else was doing it, so it ‘must be’ the way to cope with reality, and in that

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become an equal part of a deceptive, corruptible and life-treason system wherein we have all pretended that it was ‘okay’ to place price tags upon ourselves to be sold for that positive reward – to place price tags upon  life wherein we thought that it was ‘okay’ to have people starving in isolated countries in the world wherein they could not ruin our ‘pretty picture world;’ wherein I made it okay to compete against others by presenting a made-up personality,  misrepresenting, manipulating and abusing the very  life that constitutes my beingness and diminishing it to a single personality as a bundle of thoughts, feelings, emotions, desires, wants, needs, preferences as a constant engine that had to be kept running by consuming more and more of anything that could keep me existing in that ‘positive idea of self,’ never pondering why I required to ever feel ‘more’ and ‘better’ about myself – and in this, never questioning why we were always seeking to be and portray ourselves as an ‘image of success’ at the eyes of others, in spite of the actuality that was going on within us, as all the inner conflict, self-hatred, self-loathing, anger, frustration and desires for revenge that we were only seeking to exert toward ‘the world/ others’ as an apparent blame for ‘them’ as the ones that went before us, having left a world in shambles, while the reality is that I as everything and everyone that is here have been equal participants in this game that we have called ‘life/ living’ wherein only through deceptive/ hypocrite means could we get some form of ‘decency,’ which implies that respect for life and human integrity have never been existent in this world.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that ‘higher standards’ can exist as an immaculate form of benevolence in this reality, without realizing that all positive experience is in fact stemming from our very own strife to make ourselves ‘more’ and ‘higher’ than what we are, because we have enslaved ourselves to an energetic system wherein we can only be ‘worthy’ and ‘good’ at the eyes of others through building up an image as a reputation that can be then ‘upgraded’ and ‘inflated’ like a price and sold and rewarded for good money as the actual positive-reward that can lead to fulfill the ‘higher standard’ that I sought to get and be recognized for as the ‘moreness’ of myself, which is and can only exist through abuse and general conflict/ opposition and abuse toward life and the consideration of Life in Equality.

 

As I see and realize that everything I have ever believed myself to be and think as a positive attribute has been part of the lies and deception in this world, I understand the importance of walking a process of Wiring, Self-Forgiveness and Self Corrective Application to give back to myself that positive experience that I always sought to be and become in the name of personal glory, wherein I tacitly agreed upon living in a system of abuse just to eventually get my positive reward for having been such a ‘good player’ in the system, abiding to the laws and rules of ‘survival of the fittest’ as the natural selection that I used as a justification to build up my ‘positive attributes’ to become part of the ‘winners’ in the system, and in that, forgetting eventually about all the ‘good-doer’ type of personality once that power and the desire for it simply corrupts even the most ‘honest’ man on Earth, as once that abuse is accepted and allowed in one single part/ aspect in our reality = it becomes acceptable for all, which is precisely how it is important for me to become The Point that Stops perpetuating the existence of myself as a deceptive and hypocrite toward myself/everyone else and this entire world the moment that I pretended to ‘care’ but only really care about my personal satisfaction, which can only exist as the saturation of positive energy based upon the abuse of all life.

 

I commit myself to expose my own hypocrisy toward myself/others/ the world from the personal to the global systems wherein everything ‘positive’ and ‘good natured’ was in fact the make-up put upon the actual shady, nasty and greedy side of each and every single participant in this world system that we have accepted and allowed to use for personal glorification and self-interest, and seeing it as something ‘normal’ and ‘acceptable’ to live-by and seek-for, without ever questioning why it is that we can’t ever get to an optimum position that benefits all and seeing that the cause for the problems in the world is in fact our own personal pursuit of happiness wherein we only care about ‘our own stability/ benefit/ security’ as money, while deliberately neglecting to ask/ ponder/ question the fact that not everyone in this world has the same access to money to have a decent living condition, nor can even they exist in the same ‘dream state’ of pursuing happiness without even having the very basic needs such as food, shelter, water, clothes, sanitation available within their world, which places into perspective the extremes of our deliberate human ignorance toward the world as ourselves.

 

Therefore I commit myself to walk my process to show and reveal to myself that anything that I had deemed as ‘good’ within myself, could only stem from a negative self-created experience that sought to be covered up in an acceptable way wherein I could obtain and gain other’s attention and acceptance in the name of my personal power, power that can only exist if others are ‘less’ than me in my own mind.

 

I commit myself to walk in every moment in Self Honesty wherein I ensure I no longer place myself as a separate part of the system that apparently ‘doesn’t abuse,’ because of believing that ‘I always wanted to do good’ – while not even realizing how this was also seeking a reward to myself for ‘doing good’ as recognition and eventually making of it all a ‘great life’ that I could live out of keeping myself as a lie within a system wherein hypocrites gain the most as they are the best liars when complying to the system and being seemingly ‘benevolent’ while in fact the world is in reverse, and all those that had nothing were the ones that we kept in such a deliberate isolated and caged position in order for us to ‘feel good’ about being able to do something for ‘the less fortunate,’ which proves that altruism is the most blatant form of hypocrisy that is stemming from personal glorification and never from a genuine care toward another as equals, as all that is sought in altruism is to feel good about having people depending on you, as that makes you ‘powerful’ as a mind that thinks that having power over others is something fulfilling.

 

I commit myself to stop any projection of hypocrisy as a judgment toward others in my head as I realize that we have all been equally participating within a system wherein we have compromise each other to only be able to thrive if we comply to the ‘rules of the game’ as a deliberate form of abuse toward all life/ all living forms in the name of personal power and self-gratification.

 

I commit myself to expose how there can be no ‘personal power’ unless it is based upon abuse, and how the only power that exists is here as ourselves as the physical breathing moment wherein I can stand still in my mind, not participating in desires, wants, needs, dreams and the opposite as lack, self rejection, blame, excuses, justifications and self-deprecation that are equally energetic experiences that I have defined as part of ‘who I am’ and in this, expose what is it that we have been In Fact abusing while keeping our personal states of mind ‘alive’ which is ourselves.

 

I commit myself to reveal, show and demonstrate how it is only through Self-Forgiveness in Self-Honesty that we can in fact stop fighting for our own survival and stopping the desire for ‘power’ and ‘moreness’ of ourselves – and reveal this process of Self Honesty as the only way that we can make us trust-worthy again with Life, that Life can stand in and as a system that benefits all, that is regarded as one and equal within and for everyone, wherein Who I am is no longer defined by a point of separation of my self equality and oneness.

 

I commit myself to be part of the group of people that have committed themselves to ensure that the rules of the game within this ecosystem function according to that which is best for all, at all times, wherein we can finally stop being hypocrites toward one another and discover what it is in fact the genuine expression of human beings and life, once that the bonds of dependency through the current monetary system as survivalism and abuse, stop and reveal the actual nature of ourselves to be worked with once that the threat toward life is removed as an actual self-willed action within the understanding that: we were the only ones that generated, stimulated an perpetuated such separation from substance/ life in an attempt to make of life an experience as a ‘feeling of being more’ than ourselves here, in the physical.

 

I commit myself to use the word hypocrisy as a way to rattle the cages of all that are caged in a comfort zone of self-dishonesty as I stand and dare to call out the abuse that we have all accepted in the name of personal glory, and in that, reveal our ‘true nature’ as well as showing/ revealing how we can only redeem ourselves once that we dare to care to create a world system of money that can be equally distributed for all, as a self-forgiveness act to clear the sins of our past wherein we only sought our individual satisfaction – we can only become self-honest and trustworthy with life/ as life if we dare to give and receive life unconditionally to all parts equally, within the realization that we are one organism that must function in equality at all times and that any form of abuse will only cause the re-load of the same abusive patterns of the past.

 

I commit myself to breathe here, to walk my own secret mind toward others beings throughout my life until I make sure that I have cleared my standing here as every moment of consistently existing as breath only, so that I can in fact be trusted again with life. And extend this point of self-support toward others as I see and realize that we can only stop if we All collectively stop and take responsibility for the spider web spun in separation of life as ourselves.

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Blogs:

• Day 38: Rebirthing as Life

• Flying HIGH – Crashing HARD: DAY 38

• Redefining words – Part 1

Download the Interview that will support you to clarify what this process is about and how to effectively assist and support yourself to walk out of the mind and into the physical, where no more ‘personal glorification’ is sought.

• Spirituality and Rebirth

2012 Dreamcatchers: Who Imagined this Fuckup?

 

“Be willing to dream, and imagine yourself becoming all that you wish to be. Keep in mind the basic axiom — all that now exists was once imagined. It follows then that what you want to exist for you in the future must now be imagined.”

Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

 

“all that now exists was once imagined.”

This can only lead us to ponder the nature of the accepted and allowed mind that could go to the extent of imagining a world in poverty, starvation, war, rape, crime, animal abuse, violence, genocides, political and economical enslavement affecting the lives of billions of beings that are currently pending from one string to remain alive. Is our imagination something that we could be proud of?

Have you ever pondered how ‘comfortable’ it is to sit within our minds and ‘fly away’ into an alternate reality for a moment, only having to snap back to reality wherein the landing is often rather bumpy – why? Because in our imagination we ‘take the wheel’ whereas in reality, we have allowed ourselves to be driven by our own thoughts wherein we believe that: what we think, we can manifest. Is it really so, Mr. Dyer?

 

That ‘mind’ has been ourselves all the way: we created everything that is here, as it is, and within the current aberrant conditions we’re living in, we care realize that we manifested a fuckup as our reality that we have now covered up with a thick layer of glossy and sticky statements like Dr. Dyer’s quote above– how fluffy and nice! ‘Be willing to dream!’ I mean, as if it wasn’t known that sleeping is one of the most common methods to suppress our experiences and avoid facing our reality which is, yes, not a nice cotton-candy reality wherein we can all enjoy ourselves – however: we created it!

 

This reality has become the polarity opposite of our ‘wildest dreams and imagination’ wherein everyone is fearing each other, living only to get the next paycheck and seeking to fulfill the inner-experience with relationships that are mostly adding on to the self abuse in this world. Is this what We Imagined? or rephrasing: How come our imagination never fit the actual reality wherein any super-happiness and ultimate bliss-dream cannot possibly be fulfilled as a reality for ALL Beings? Of course, if Dr. Dyer speaks to the rich and famous that can follow the dreams through playing the game in the system, then there’s an obvious counter productive and abusive side to sustain such ‘charming’ words. Having such ‘bliss’ can only happen at the expense of others, and this is the single acceptance that reveals our ‘true nature’ within the ability to only imagine and fool-fill ourselves with unrealistic panoramas that are mostly keeping everyone busy making money to hypothetically make them their reality. That took quite some nitty-gritty scheming that we are all participants of as this entire system.

 

It’s a usual selling-grip to instigate human’s gullibility to buy that which sounds like honey to your ears – I mean, who on Earth wants to hear about Self-Responsibility and Self-Honesty and creating a world that is best for all through actual work? Not many, unfortunately – however what Mr. Dyer is missing is that: life cannot be neglected, denied, suppressed or even cheated through magic games like ‘imagining your best possible scenario and it will manifest!’

 

How predictable have we become to literally buy-into such glorious effortless quotes, that add fuel to an already fucked up Idea that living is about accumulating stuff that can define ‘who you are’ or ‘having all the money in the world’ or getting the ‘person of your dreams,’ which is certainly – proven 100% here by the writer of these words – Not what you ever expected it all to be. The fame and glamour that  you believe you want to get eventually becomes a nightmare for many – not even in having it all would you be able to sort out your inner-conflict that is most likely Not solved with money.

 

Bottom line is: when imagination meets reality you can either stop fueling these mindsturbations by daring to be Self-Honest and realistic about the current situation we’re living in and facing within this world – or you can decide to continue mind-fucking yourself which implies not only doing it to yourself, but dragging more along, such as what Mr. Dyer is doing within peddling such statements that are Not in any way whatsoever supportive for humanity.

 

How easy it is to sell dreams.

 

Dare to be Self Honest, Dare to see that his world is NOT here for our personal-fulfillment while having some actually slaving their time away while barely having anything to eat, just to make ‘your wishes and dreams come true.’

 

Who’s been the abuser and evil in this world all along?

 

Time to take Self Responsibility and dare to actually LIVE – it won’t be as easy as wishing or hoping without realizing that we can actually – instead of hoping and wishing –create a reality that is tangibly physically best for ALL LIVING BEINGS.

If you seek to ‘dream’ and ‘imagine’ just because your life is apparently ‘sad and miserable,’ read the following quote and see that reality is not about mansions, ‘beautiful men/ women,’ wine racks, boats and personal gurus that massage your ears with words that temporarily satiate your ever quenching ego as the mind – reality is something that our human experience cannot even grasp at this stage. Will you Dare to be Real or do you fear losing your ability to imagine and dream?

 

 

“To feel sad implies there is something lost or that can be lost – nothing real can ever be lost – Humans are not real –their bodies are real and will remain and return to earth when the opportunity of equality is recalled suddenly in a breath — when there are no more humans left and only life remain in various forms – you will not miss the illusion as it would never fit in with reality.” – Bernard Poolman

 

In the end: all that was mind-created will simply NOT exist as it was never real in the first place.

Featured Blogs:

• 2012 Imagination •´¯`•.¸¸.•´¯`•.¸¸. ><((((º>

• Imagine no Imagination |

Interviews:

• The Design of Imagination – YouTube

• Imagination I AM – YouTube

• A Great Imagination – YouTube

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Eqafe recommendation to Learn from those that faced the consequences of having ‘followed their dreams’

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