Continuing with 132. EgoMania: Narcissism
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize and see who am I within wanting to ‘secure’ a position on top of others wherein I have deliberately side-viewed/ neglected and ignored the fact that within me wanting to be ‘safe’ within a point of superiority fulfilling my wants, needs and personal desires and creating an entire personality as ‘superior/ greater/ confident/ powerful’ being, I am in fact existing as the absolute fear to lose that which I have defined myself to Only be, such as that point which makes me feel powerful and superior – being it money, relationships, knowledge – which is in fact everything that we have separated ourselves from, getting ourselves to the extent of fearing losing such point outside of ourselves because it is all that we have defined ourselves to be.
I realize that within the current configuration of the world as capitalism, we have abdicated our self-worth and self acceptance to whether we are ‘worthy’ at the eyes of the world-system to make money, to get sex, to be ‘successful’ and as such learning that it is only through these means that we can in fact be ‘great’ and ‘fulfilled’ in our living, which is an absolute lie as the story that’s never told is how for some to be successful and have all the money and all the successful-lifestyle, there must be those that invariably must be the losers, the slaves that work to sustain the earthly-heavenly experience that can only exist as the abusive illusion that money has enabled as a possibility – and our reality today – while justifying those that are abused as ‘the losers’ as inept, incapable, not good enough, not worthy enough to have equal opportunities to also aspire to get a life-worth-living, which is absolutely unacceptable.
When and as I see myself wanting to secure my position in an apparent point of stability within money, relationships as the entire suit of success – I stop and I breathe – I rather look at everything and everyone that must be ‘underneath’ me in this hierarchical world system in order for me to apparently ‘remain’ in such a position that is only held by money and relationships in this world system, wherein all that I have complied myself to be is the outflow of mind-indoctrination to be and become the next ‘big hit’ in my own mind in comparison to others, thus I direct myself to see and consider the lives of those that must be abused, that must be deliberately ‘left behind’ and below in order for me to be on top, to get ahead everyone else as ‘my goal in life’ and ‘My fulfillment.’
I commit myself to expose any dream of being successful and the ultimate powerful person as the actual point of self-abuse that is accepted and allowed currently in this world as a form of justifying the inequality that is necessary to keep an unequal system running making such points of ‘success’ and ‘loss’ possible. I realize that there can be no actual success if inequality exists, if abuse exists thus
I commit myself to expose the current accepted and allowed conception of ‘success’ as a nice way to cover up a deliberate form of abuse toward others that are seen a ‘less than’ and ‘unworthy’ so that only a handful can be seen as worthy, as powerful and successful.
“Interesting, that: the more money one have, the more time, effort and attention one can spend in/as one’s Mind in manipulating one’s physical-body and physical-reality to suit one’s personal wants, needs and desires in standing in the limelight within/as one’s own Life/World. That this is what each human being in this world in our relationship with Money, want, need and desire – the riches of the Earth/this World as what the consumerism giant provide.” – Sunette Spies*
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to indulge within thinking of myself as someone greater, superior, powerful without even taking a look at ‘who am I’ within wanting to be a powerful person Above others and how this desire to be ‘on top’ of others is in fact the very mechanism in which this current society and capitalist system is founded upon.
I realize that I had been indoctrinated as a child to always seek to be ‘on top’ and remain ‘untouchable’ within such position as that would guarantee my ‘happiness,’ which is how I allowed myself to create an absolute fortress around me as a character to maintain my own ‘position’ secured in my world as ‘the best/ the greatest/ the most intelligent one,’ which supports the entire polarization of our reality wherein for some to be winners, others have to stand and be regarded as the losers.
When and as I see myself indulging into thoughts of me being the greatest and scheming ways to remain in such alleged position in my world, I stop and I breathe – I direct myself to in such moment realize to what extent I am separating myself from my physical body, considering myself as a physical being that cannot in any way be ‘more’ than other bodies as flesh and bones – thus
I commit myself to expose the superiority/ vanity/ egotistical thoughts that support the narcissist character wherein I stand as ‘the king of the world’ in my reality, through my own backchat and internal conversations – thus It is to realize how such seemingly ‘innocent’ thoughts become in fact the building blocks of who we are as the illusion of the character that believes itself to be ‘more’ than others, simply to fulfill one single belief of ‘power and control’ over others, which is in fact what must be exposed as the point of abuse and illusion as there can be no power in existence other than the physical that we have separated ourselves from, while existing only as a mind that wants to be and become ‘greater’ than others.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how when I am busy in my mind scheming and participating in thoughts, internal conversations and backchat finding ways to remain on the top, to get to the top, to ‘beat’ another in any form of rivalry or competition that I have created in my mind, without realizing how this is what further contributes to the inequality in this world wherein who we are has been diminished to values/ worth and perceptions of who we are within a system wherein Money as the ultimate power dictates ‘who’s who in the zoo’ –
Thus, I realize that whenever I participate in thoughts and dreams of getting to be the greatest and the most ‘powerful,’ I am in fact saying that I am willing to abuse, manipulate and corrupt myself and others in order to make ‘MY dream come true’ and secure ‘MY place’ in this world as being the most powerful, greatest being, which is an absolute demonstration of vanity wherein we don’t want to actually look at and realize who and what we are directly and indirectly abusing with us keeping such desires to be and become ‘more’ in our minds.
When and as I see myself scheming ways to get ‘on top’ of others in the ultimate position of power as ‘success’ — I stop and I breathe – I direct myself to instead see how I am practically able to support myself to be an example of how I can stand in and as equality and oneness which is the point that will certainly then enable everyone to be equally supported, wherein All can have the same ability to have a dignified and ‘successful’ living wherein success is no longer defined by being ‘more’ than others or ‘beating’ others in a race, but a general well being that will be available for all once that we establish a living-system of Equality such as the Equal Money System wherein we will learn how to honor each others as equals and any desire to be ‘more’ than others, will be treated with professional support and assistance to re-align the being’s life to that which is best for all.
I commit myself to thus consider each and every single being whenever I am only thinking about ‘MY own success, MY own desires, MY own dreams of getting to a successful point in my world’ as I see and realize that it is only through re-aligning any point of personal interest to the interest of what’s best for ALL that I am able to then expand my perspective and realize the abuse that stems from chasing after my personal-interests and pleasure/ satisfaction creates when being created at the expense of other beings in inequality.
“I commit myself to show how/why this calls for the re-education of the Human Being that is in fact very uneducated regarding the principles of Life and Living, very ‘intelligent’ regarding how to manipulate, deceive, remain ignorant of reality, and abuse for the sake of survival and money, but actual COMMON SENSE as having the sense, the ability to SEE and SENSE with and as that which is COMMON, EQUAL, ONE as this physical existence and us all within and as it: do not exist.” –Sunette Spies
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to immediately react in jealousy the moment that I see someone ‘climbing up to MY spot’ within the perceived powerful successful position, wherein I then justify all means and ways to ensure that such individual/s do Not make it on top -and as such, believing that creating a competition and definite rivalry is the way to ‘reclaim my place’ which is nothing else but actual fear of losing the privileges and ‘secured’ position of superiority.
I realize that in this current world system competition is reinforced and promoted as a way to ‘become better’ every time as it’s been proven how individuals work ‘better’ when under pressure and/or threat to ‘lose their jobs/ position’ in a particular scenario within this world system – thus ensuring that ‘competition’ remains as the method of excellence to ensure that people remain doing ‘the best they can’ and giving all their effort to it simply because of not wanting others to take their position and become ‘more’ than them.
When and as I see myself going into jealousy when and as perceiving that someone is going to ‘get my place,’ I stop and I breathe – I direct myself to simply remain constant and consistent in my application wherein I realize that playing the competition game in my mind only adds further stress as the fear of loss toward such position that only exists as a concept of superiority in my mind. Furthermore I realize that accepting a point of competition as ‘real’ implies that I am in fact giving into a form of fear wherein there must be a winner and a loser, thus moving only through and as the starting point of Fear instead of it being a clear self directive decision to move.
I commit myself to expose all forms of hierarchy as an atrocity against life and exposing it as the actual carrot on the stick mechanism to keep everyone busy ‘climbing the ladder of success’ all the time, without realizing who and what we are damaging in such moments, which is ourselves and the life that we abuse to remain in our powerful/ almighty bubbles of money that must burst in order to realize the reality that is here covered up with the illusion of ‘control’ that we have created through and as our current monetary system.
I realize how the only real value of Life is Life itself and that we can instead support each other to work together and learn how to coexist and co-create within the starting point of oneness and equality as life, as this is the only way wherein everyone can Win equally, because there will be no more abuse in the name of maintaining a polarized society of abuse.
I commit myself to spot myself whenever I see me wanting to be ‘On Top’ and ‘The Most Successful’ and See the abuse and exploitation that the mere existence of such ‘positions’ within the world system represent, as there is no ability to be ‘successful’ in this world at the moment without abusing others to create such perception of power and control that exists as an actual fear of realizing that we are not in fact of control of ourselves as our physical, as our minds, as the environment which already indicates the level of limitation and delusion that exists as this feeble concept of ‘superiority’ masking an absolute fear to in fact be apparently ‘nothing else’ yet nothing more than an equal and one part of the whole that has been subdued to a set of energetic fixes that we are here to Stop and finally realize what’s ‘behind’ these experiences as an actual physical reality that can certainly be ordered, managed and directed to be beneficial for all beings equally.
“Interesting, that even within the World System itself, what is promoted is the Mind, thought, consciousness, imagination, visualization, energy…everything of that which completely separate self from reality, the physical, that is real, here. The World System promoting human beings in the Mind to such an extent that we’d focus on things the Mind feed us, the World System feed us – consumerism, images, fantasies; but would not give a moment’s consideration to the countless of human beings in PHYSICAL REALITY suffering from starvation, famine, war, poverty – keeping us preoccupied in the Mind, within our own MINDS to not see the reality of what we’re creating as this world/earth for a select minority of Humanity to finance and substantiate their Hollywood Minds.
And so, changing the human, from self-interest as what we’ve done with how we created ourselves in/as the Mind to serve only our own wants, needs and desires and so in fact change ourselves/our living to what is/will be BEST FOR ALL.”
– Sunette Spies*
Day 134: True Religion and True Activism