n the practice of claiming to have higher standards or more laudable beliefs than is the case.
hupokrisis ‘acting of a theatrical part’, from hupokrinesthai ‘play a part, pretend’.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever judge another being as being hypocrite without realizing that we have all become hypocrites the moment that we live according to the idea that we want to fulfill of ourselves in our minds, chasing our wants, needs and desires and using all means available to achieve them, wherein we portray ourselves as a character that is able to ‘get what one wants’ by using deceptive means that in no way consider life and what is best for all, but only self interest and personal gratification.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge people in my reality as hypocrites toward myself, when in fact the only one that was judging them was myself in my secret mind, believing that because ‘they need me/ they require my stuff’ they are being hypocrite toward me just to keep things ‘at ease’ around, without realizing that I have been the only one creating the point of hypocrisy by having thoughts, judgments about others in my mind that I have justified in self righteousness wherein projecting blame toward others makes me ‘the victim’ and the ‘good person’ that is ‘good spirited’ and is ‘true’ to herself – without realizing that the very act of judging and having thoughts in the back of my head about others that they can in no way see/ be aware of is making me exactly that which I am judging others for:a hypocrite.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that we have all always been hypocrites as that has become ‘the way’ to survive in a dog eat dog world, wherein pretending to care, pretending to be interested in another’s life, about animals, about the environment, about those in need comes like a ‘nice thought’ that makes us feel like we are ‘considerate’ toward fellow living beings, just to eventually in one second forget about it and continue living our lives, pursuing happiness, scheming ways to win, seeing how we can get the most with the least inversion, planning out ways to become effective within the system that functions in corruption and dishonesty by playing the game, without having ever considered that the acceptance of such constant scheming to be ‘more,’ to be ‘above others’ is what is driving this entire Earth to its absolute depletion, wherein everything that will be left- if we don’t stop ourselves -is our dreams of chasing after the elusive pot of gold in the name of personal ‘power,’ that can only exist as an illusion within the delusional and schizophrenic monetary system that is based upon abuse and not life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge others as hypocrites for having approaching me in the name of self-interest and not in a ‘genuine’ way, without realizing that there are no ‘genuine intentions’ in this world wherein we have all bound ourselves to a system of survivalism, where the one that is able to be the best liar and ‘fool’ the most is the one that gets the most power as the ultimate reward = money in the world – hence how could I have ever gotten ‘hurt’ by seeing the truth of ‘others’ intentions’ without realizing that I have ruled my life according to the same principle of having to play the rules of this abusive game in order to survive, which are rules that I had never questioned and that I had accepted as ‘how things are’ and in that, justify all abuse and neglect toward life, which became me accepting hypocrisy as ‘who I am’ toward everyone and everything in this world, pretending to be ‘just fine’ while in fact, I could only deem that ‘everything is fine’ by deliberately accepting lies as truth and making myself ‘more’ through such ‘truths,’ as knowledge and information that I have defined as ‘who I am’ – in this
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become equally deceptive and hypocrite the moment that I accepted another to be and become only a personality, a set of preferences, beliefs, judgments, values, words, pictures, emotions and feelings that I have accepted as ‘who I am/ who others are,’ which is in fact accepting the abuse of life ‘as life’ and pretend that we and everyone in this world were in fact ‘living,’ while in reality, we have all become hypocrites in pretending to live while abusing life, regardless of the evidence that is here every single day, in every moment wherein animals are going extinct due to our abuse, people die out of sheer human negligence to provide unconditional life support, the environment is extremely exploited in the name of personal power, in the name of human supremacy over all other life forms that are regarded as ‘less than,’ which in fact makes me and all that have defined ourselves as our ego, our personality, our beliefs, our dreams, our feelings, emotions, preferences as hypocrites toward life, because we never dared to question ‘who we are’ in relation to life and how come that our ‘lives’ could only be fueled by using what is unconditionally here as the Earth and what we call ‘resources’ and selling it for our own personal ‘benefit’ which is translated to money as power in this world-system.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become the ultimate hypocrite by believing that I could point out ‘flaws’ in others, while not even having dared to realize that who I am is the product of a society and a world built upon lies wherein no genuine thoughts, intentions and values have ever existed, because we’ve sold life in the name of money which means that whatever I ever pondered as genuine, as ‘sincere’ within me/ others was in fact part of the lies to keep myself within the belief that ‘I am a good person’ / ‘I am trust worthy’ – not wanting to see that this can only exist as long as ‘I am protected’ and I have money in my pocket as a form of security – otherwise, when my very own survival is threatened, all ‘honesty’ and ‘sincere intentions’ would be dumped out of the window because reality then knocks at our door to realize that: nothing that we have ever perceived to be ‘good natured’ was in fact so, as it had always been a cover up, a make-up for the inherent negative experience that we have all stemmed from since the inception and conception of ourselves within this existence. (Read Sunette’s blog for more)
I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to believe that I was sincere and a genuine ‘good hearted’ person, without realizing that I used this as a way to manipulate my reality to obtain and gain that which I knew would make me ‘worthy’ at the eyes of others in society and in that, being able to eventually create a ‘good reputation’ that can be translated as ‘good source of money’ in a system wherein personalities that are presented as ‘good willed,’ ‘sincere’ and ‘honest’ are ‘rare to find,’ yet not realizing that any self-perception of being ‘good natured’ and ‘honest’/ sincere has only been a way to continue surviving in the ‘good side’ of reality, while avoiding and deliberately covering up the ‘bad side’ which is how I had deemed others to be: hypocrites, cheaters, liars without daring to see how the very scheming and planning of my own life, myself, my personality and the picture presentation that I built of myself toward others, was aiming at serving two gods – wanting to do ‘good’ to life but wanting to preserve my specialness and my recognition in the system as a way to be able to continue abusing/living a ‘good life,’ yet pretending to care about those that were ‘less fortunate’ than myself.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that I’ve become the very epitome of hypocrisy, not only as an individual but as humanity, as an entire race that has dared to pretend that ‘everything is fine’ and we all go walking our days, seeking to ‘make it’ and looking for our greatest next excitement and successful living, living to the ‘max’ while neglecting all the effects and consequences of having lived by the law of self-interest throughout our existence, which is now facing a turning point that affects us all, and that must be a wake up call for everyone that is already seeing and living the consequences of our endless disregard toward life.
I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to judge smiles as a sign of hypocrisy without realizing that I would play out the exact same mechanism every time that I actually perceived a potential ‘threat’ or ‘antagonism’ from another, wherein the positive attitude such as unconsciously smiling was used to ‘soften’ any form of hostility that I could be facing in such moments, which reveals how being ‘affable’ and ‘good natured’ as an overall positive attitude is actually stemming from fear of conflict, fear of having enemies, fear of antagonism wherein through deception and lies we can ‘buy’ another to have them be ‘on our side’ in a world wherein only self interest can be the reason to divide and conquer.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I have been a hypocrite from the very first stages in my life wherein I knew that presenting an ‘adorable expression’ would lead family, teachers, older people to be fascinated by me and in that, have everyone just ‘loving me’ and ‘appreciating me’ which would make me feel ‘good’ as the positive reward that I then became so used to constantly and continuously obtain from others – in this
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that hypocrisy became the deceptive portrayal of a decorative positive experience toward people as my modus vivendi, in order to always have everyone/ the most ‘on my side’ and ‘agreeing’ with me, wherein I ensured that all things would always work according to ‘my plans/ my way,’ which means that hypocrisy became the ultimate manipulation to always get what I want, how I want it and whenever I want it, through instilling sympathy for me as the devil that looked for ways and means to always get ‘the most of the cake,’ as all the positive energy experience that attention, care, money and compliments that I could gather from others, in order to then ‘value’ myself as ‘worthy’ because others could see me/ consider me as ‘worthy’ and a ‘valuable person.’
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to accept positive rewards toward my hypocrisy which made a professional life-long hypocrite that knew how to ‘handle’ the system through creating and developing different personalities according to ‘where’ and with whom I was in my world, wherein I learned that different tricks as behavior, personality, words, self-presentation could work different according to each moment, each person to obtain my positive reward becoming a chameleon that is multi-personality based, and never ever considering this as something that was signifying deception and dishonesty, because I thought that everyone else was doing it, so it ‘must be’ the way to cope with reality, and in that
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become an equal part of a deceptive, corruptible and life-treason system wherein we have all pretended that it was ‘okay’ to place price tags upon ourselves to be sold for that positive reward – to place price tags upon life wherein we thought that it was ‘okay’ to have people starving in isolated countries in the world wherein they could not ruin our ‘pretty picture world;’ wherein I made it okay to compete against others by presenting a made-up personality, misrepresenting, manipulating and abusing the very life that constitutes my beingness and diminishing it to a single personality as a bundle of thoughts, feelings, emotions, desires, wants, needs, preferences as a constant engine that had to be kept running by consuming more and more of anything that could keep me existing in that ‘positive idea of self,’ never pondering why I required to ever feel ‘more’ and ‘better’ about myself – and in this, never questioning why we were always seeking to be and portray ourselves as an ‘image of success’ at the eyes of others, in spite of the actuality that was going on within us, as all the inner conflict, self-hatred, self-loathing, anger, frustration and desires for revenge that we were only seeking to exert toward ‘the world/ others’ as an apparent blame for ‘them’ as the ones that went before us, having left a world in shambles, while the reality is that I as everything and everyone that is here have been equal participants in this game that we have called ‘life/ living’ wherein only through deceptive/ hypocrite means could we get some form of ‘decency,’ which implies that respect for life and human integrity have never been existent in this world.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that ‘higher standards’ can exist as an immaculate form of benevolence in this reality, without realizing that all positive experience is in fact stemming from our very own strife to make ourselves ‘more’ and ‘higher’ than what we are, because we have enslaved ourselves to an energetic system wherein we can only be ‘worthy’ and ‘good’ at the eyes of others through building up an image as a reputation that can be then ‘upgraded’ and ‘inflated’ like a price and sold and rewarded for good money as the actual positive-reward that can lead to fulfill the ‘higher standard’ that I sought to get and be recognized for as the ‘moreness’ of myself, which is and can only exist through abuse and general conflict/ opposition and abuse toward life and the consideration of Life in Equality.
As I see and realize that everything I have ever believed myself to be and think as a positive attribute has been part of the lies and deception in this world, I understand the importance of walking a process of Wiring, Self-Forgiveness and Self Corrective Application to give back to myself that positive experience that I always sought to be and become in the name of personal glory, wherein I tacitly agreed upon living in a system of abuse just to eventually get my positive reward for having been such a ‘good player’ in the system, abiding to the laws and rules of ‘survival of the fittest’ as the natural selection that I used as a justification to build up my ‘positive attributes’ to become part of the ‘winners’ in the system, and in that, forgetting eventually about all the ‘good-doer’ type of personality once that power and the desire for it simply corrupts even the most ‘honest’ man on Earth, as once that abuse is accepted and allowed in one single part/ aspect in our reality = it becomes acceptable for all, which is precisely how it is important for me to become The Point that Stops perpetuating the existence of myself as a deceptive and hypocrite toward myself/everyone else and this entire world the moment that I pretended to ‘care’ but only really care about my personal satisfaction, which can only exist as the saturation of positive energy based upon the abuse of all life.
I commit myself to expose my own hypocrisy toward myself/others/ the world from the personal to the global systems wherein everything ‘positive’ and ‘good natured’ was in fact the make-up put upon the actual shady, nasty and greedy side of each and every single participant in this world system that we have accepted and allowed to use for personal glorification and self-interest, and seeing it as something ‘normal’ and ‘acceptable’ to live-by and seek-for, without ever questioning why it is that we can’t ever get to an optimum position that benefits all and seeing that the cause for the problems in the world is in fact our own personal pursuit of happiness wherein we only care about ‘our own stability/ benefit/ security’ as money, while deliberately neglecting to ask/ ponder/ question the fact that not everyone in this world has the same access to money to have a decent living condition, nor can even they exist in the same ‘dream state’ of pursuing happiness without even having the very basic needs such as food, shelter, water, clothes, sanitation available within their world, which places into perspective the extremes of our deliberate human ignorance toward the world as ourselves.
Therefore I commit myself to walk my process to show and reveal to myself that anything that I had deemed as ‘good’ within myself, could only stem from a negative self-created experience that sought to be covered up in an acceptable way wherein I could obtain and gain other’s attention and acceptance in the name of my personal power, power that can only exist if others are ‘less’ than me in my own mind.
I commit myself to walk in every moment in Self Honesty wherein I ensure I no longer place myself as a separate part of the system that apparently ‘doesn’t abuse,’ because of believing that ‘I always wanted to do good’ – while not even realizing how this was also seeking a reward to myself for ‘doing good’ as recognition and eventually making of it all a ‘great life’ that I could live out of keeping myself as a lie within a system wherein hypocrites gain the most as they are the best liars when complying to the system and being seemingly ‘benevolent’ while in fact the world is in reverse, and all those that had nothing were the ones that we kept in such a deliberate isolated and caged position in order for us to ‘feel good’ about being able to do something for ‘the less fortunate,’ which proves that altruism is the most blatant form of hypocrisy that is stemming from personal glorification and never from a genuine care toward another as equals, as all that is sought in altruism is to feel good about having people depending on you, as that makes you ‘powerful’ as a mind that thinks that having power over others is something fulfilling.
I commit myself to stop any projection of hypocrisy as a judgment toward others in my head as I realize that we have all been equally participating within a system wherein we have compromise each other to only be able to thrive if we comply to the ‘rules of the game’ as a deliberate form of abuse toward all life/ all living forms in the name of personal power and self-gratification.
I commit myself to expose how there can be no ‘personal power’ unless it is based upon abuse, and how the only power that exists is here as ourselves as the physical breathing moment wherein I can stand still in my mind, not participating in desires, wants, needs, dreams and the opposite as lack, self rejection, blame, excuses, justifications and self-deprecation that are equally energetic experiences that I have defined as part of ‘who I am’ and in this, expose what is it that we have been In Fact abusing while keeping our personal states of mind ‘alive’ which is ourselves.
I commit myself to reveal, show and demonstrate how it is only through Self-Forgiveness in Self-Honesty that we can in fact stop fighting for our own survival and stopping the desire for ‘power’ and ‘moreness’ of ourselves – and reveal this process of Self Honesty as the only way that we can make us trust-worthy again with Life, that Life can stand in and as a system that benefits all, that is regarded as one and equal within and for everyone, wherein Who I am is no longer defined by a point of separation of my self equality and oneness.
I commit myself to be part of the group of people that have committed themselves to ensure that the rules of the game within this ecosystem function according to that which is best for all, at all times, wherein we can finally stop being hypocrites toward one another and discover what it is in fact the genuine expression of human beings and life, once that the bonds of dependency through the current monetary system as survivalism and abuse, stop and reveal the actual nature of ourselves to be worked with once that the threat toward life is removed as an actual self-willed action within the understanding that: we were the only ones that generated, stimulated an perpetuated such separation from substance/ life in an attempt to make of life an experience as a ‘feeling of being more’ than ourselves here, in the physical.
I commit myself to use the word hypocrisy as a way to rattle the cages of all that are caged in a comfort zone of self-dishonesty as I stand and dare to call out the abuse that we have all accepted in the name of personal glory, and in that, reveal our ‘true nature’ as well as showing/ revealing how we can only redeem ourselves once that we dare to care to create a world system of money that can be equally distributed for all, as a self-forgiveness act to clear the sins of our past wherein we only sought our individual satisfaction – we can only become self-honest and trustworthy with life/ as life if we dare to give and receive life unconditionally to all parts equally, within the realization that we are one organism that must function in equality at all times and that any form of abuse will only cause the re-load of the same abusive patterns of the past.
I commit myself to breathe here, to walk my own secret mind toward others beings throughout my life until I make sure that I have cleared my standing here as every moment of consistently existing as breath only, so that I can in fact be trusted again with life. And extend this point of self-support toward others as I see and realize that we can only stop if we All collectively stop and take responsibility for the spider web spun in separation of life as ourselves.
For more support, visit:
Desteni I Process
Read our blogs at Journey to Life
Download the Interview that will support you to clarify what this process is about and how to effectively assist and support yourself to walk out of the mind and into the physical, where no more ‘personal glorification’ is sought.
398. The Act of Killing: Humanity’s Self-Reflection
We are all Anwar
No one really likes to recognize one’s own evil. We live in a mass hypnosis state where we have accepted things like poverty and war as ‘norms’ and ‘the way the world works’ without considering a possibility to change. We often blame a particular establishment, government, tyrant, economics, politics, culture and media for the continuation of the atrocities without a change in this world. What we tend to usually forget is that before any secret societies or secret cabals taking control of how the world works, there is and was only ourselves, human beings as the creators of all of the above and everything that we can possibly complain about as the ‘evils of the world.’
Fascinatingly enough what we have done is make of our evil something separate of ourselves that we tend to fetishize and fictionalize in, for example, Hollywood movies that glorify wars, mafias, creating the notion of super heroes that can suddenly overcome such evil but then even that idea of the good vs. evil and ‘the good side’ being triumphant is no longer something that is credible in this world. We haven’t really pondered what it takes to create this notion of ‘victory’ and how victory is actually defined by those that win, those that (w)right hi-story, their story to then present an act of killing as something that is glorifying, righteously defending ‘The Act of Killing’ as a justified means to ‘win’ a battle.
We would have to also ask ourselves if we have also come to admire villains for their ‘cunning ways’ to get things done their way. But when it comes to understanding Why we actually harm each other, and How we have come to make of such harm and abuse part of who we are in fact and the ways we justify it is, we don’t go far enough; we often only stick to ‘presenting the show’ which is what sells, what the entire Hollywood industry is founded upon – which is what we do within ourselves too: we see others as the problem, the ‘evil ones’ instead of being willing to look deep inside of ourselves and acknowledge the same problem exists within each one of us too.
Stepping aside from the massive Hollywood propaganda for films that instead of informing or supporting people to see ways in which we have to take responsibility and implement solutions in this world, there is also another type of film that makes us all question everything we have made ‘acceptable’ as a form of enter-tamement/ entertainment such as the voyeuristic ability to watch violence, abuse, harm and murder as part of ‘what happens in the movies’ and eventually, even coming to inspire real life murderers and crimes. Which one came first? One would ask. Yes, it is rather obvious by now that we haven’t evolved as species when we still rejoice in watching battles and wars with all the gore and perceive that as entertainment – gladiators at the coliseum 2.0 – which is also at the same time used as a way to create a normalcy in the act of killing, of murdering, torturing, abusing and have an entire political connotation to it which is what consecrates it at the eyes of world history.
The Act of Killing is as surreal as anyone like André Breton probably could have imagined surrealism to be defined by and it is probably the first time that watching a film can feel like a movie, only to remind myself that it is in fact a Documentary: a real life presentation where there are several production processes as attempts to recreate and mystify the massive killings in Indonesia in the 60’s and how nonchalantly the perpetrators of such killings decide to represent what they did as part of what they believe is an honorable duty they were a part of – or should we say were told they were doing as an honorable thing – showing the massive propaganda machine that must exist as a constant reinforcement to convince us to do something, to actually kill and torture and commit the most hideous crimes and believe this is something in the name of national defense, honor, respect – sounds familiar? Only every single time that any form of conflict between human beings or two factions leading to war is justified.
What would happen if we were able to stand as observers of our own mistakes, crimes, abuse toward ourselves and others? The Act of Killing by Joshua Oppenheimer is remarkable in the sense that he has produced a documentary here the film in itself becomes the platform for the perpetrators to direct their own vision, their own accounts of the killings and re-enact – in their own ‘influences and vision’ – their hideous crimes that they choose to not define as such, because to their eyes they did ‘the right thing’ and as such ‘winners get to choose what ‘war crimes’ are, which is also part of the fabricated truths and creeds that we use to keep ourselves always on the ‘winning score,’ even if it means making of the killings of thousands – or even millions – of people an act of honor, a ‘need,’ a ‘right thing to do’ and forgetting completely about who and what they are in fact doing which is killing another living human being, an equal to themselves.
Witnessing the self-revelation that comes to the protagonists of this documentary specifically when taking the role of their victim opens up a possibility to realize what they have really in fact done, what they have put others through and witnessing a genuine moment of having the killers place themselves in the shoes of the ones they tortured and killed: perhaps an opportunity to forgive themselves for what they have done.
I watched the documentary twice and when I was in the movies I had a knot in my throat specially when realizing how disconnected we have been to everything we watch in a film, especially killings, what it means to kill, how killing is justified but what is more astounding is the actual potential for self-evaluation of such acts as something that is certainly unacceptable in contradiction to how these killers were just told to be and do.
Second time that I watched it was one week ago and I ended up tweeting: we are all in fact Anwar because I could see that we rejoice in blaming people and seeing everyone else as ‘the evil ones’ and we haven’t yet recognized we are all in fact the abusers in this world that allow not only the act of killing but any form of evil as the reverse of life to become our self-religion: what is money in this world but the way to deny life to another if so we decide to do so through ‘laws’ and politics, economic plans and further excuses like races, nations, colors to just not see and realize each other as equals? Who we are if not exterminators in this reality when thousands of species are dying every single day for our sheer presence in this world? Do we ever place ourselves in the shoes of the air, the water, the animals, every single part of this world that we constantly abuse, kill and deplete every single day in the name of ‘our progress’ or our ‘victories’?
If anything this documentary allows us to step back and not only get to see first hand the mentality that has to be fabricated to ‘create a killer’ but to also take the point back at self when attempting to blame anyone for this, or see ‘Anwar’ and the rest of the killers as ‘the bad guys.’ I realize that everything that we’ve seen as this abject consequence of our self-abuse is our responsibility and as such I have nothing but gratitude for having the opportunity to watch this film and be able to cry like a baby at the end in Anwar’s vomiting scene, because I’ve also felt disgusted, sad and angry at myself for what we have done to this world and each other and so it was revealing being able to witness another human being going through that.
Even if I haven’t killed a human being in this lifetime, I am equally responsible for every single form of abuse that exists here, as we recognize we are all in fact one and equal – that’s our current Oneness and Equality – and there’s no way to escape this and this is one of the reasons why I am so committed to my process of self-change and self-responsibility, mostly to be able to shout out to the four winds : WE DID IT TO OURSELVES! LET’S STOP BLAMING FOR EARTH’S SAKE and instead FOCUS ON CHANGING OURSELVES to Prevent crimes and CREATE SOLUTIONS!
So, once we watch this cathartic process that this documentary The Act of Killing represents to every one of us as human beings, we can begin to Forgive ourselves for every single crime, abuse and atrocity we have perpetuated in the name of power, in the name of money, in the name of a god or a belief because we have all done this, then be willing to roll our sleeves up and focus on getting ourselves straight by first and foremost stopping the self-abuse within us because ‘wars’ and governments taking over and secret societies ruling millions of people is nothing else but the outflow of our own abdication of Self-Responsibility to oneself and one another. I say till here no further, we cannot go sponsoring death and destruction one more day in this world beginning the abuse at a thought and individual level we commit each day.
I stand up for Life in Equality and Self-Responsibility for the Crimes we have all committed against Life – AND please: do yourself a favor and watch this documentary, you can’t miss it.
Watch the Live Google Hangout where further details and explanations behind the documentary ‘The Act of Killing’ will be shared, along with the refreshing sense of Self-Responsibility that we have to what this documentary so vividly exposes to us.
Thanks to Joshua Oppenheimer for being such a kick ass film maker and creating this masterpiece that should be shown all over the world to become more aware of the most essential form of abuse we all commit in one way or another: the act of killing.
Investigate who we are as a group of people committed to take responsibility and prevent further abuse in this world:
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