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344. Integrity in Equal Money

 

“It is Essential that Human Integrity as Life Equal be Restored as the Fundamental Rule of Law in this World. Call Out Those that protect Inequality, Become Politically Wise – Install a New Government, through Democracy and Re-Educate the Abusers of Life; in the same way they now keep Millions in the Chains of Inequality – ‘till they Repent and Show through their Actions that they Also Care about Life.”
– Bernard Poolman

 

Continuing:

 

 

 

Problem                                                                

“We’ve become dependent on fear as a survival instinct and so actually fear commonsense and integrity as it is experienced/believed to be a ‘weakness’ – you have to live in fear in order to survive as the law in the matrix goes” – Sunette Spies

 

  • The result of our abdication of self responsibility to the laws and mechanisms in which our physical reality visibly operates is expressed in the current organizations and institutions that we have become so ashamed of and continuously complain about, which are the  product of our primordial disregard of ourselves being one and the same organism that is subject to physical laws that enable life to exist. Instead, we created these external entities to become the deposits of our rights that we signed off when agreeing to become part of a system wherein money as our creation meant our ‘indebted access’ to have a dignified living. This means that we lost our integrity the moment that we placed ourselves to be subject to laws that were never equated to guard and ensure a constitution of life in Equality.

 

“You are in this World, because: You Have No Responsibility, No Integrity and because you have Never Cared about Life in the Universe throughout All Time. You are, in a way, in a Prison. A Prison you created for yourself. You’re Not Going to Get out of This one…not here or in the hereafter without facing consequence, taking responsibility for it and changing for oneself and so for all as self.” – Bernard Poolman 

 

  • What we face as our current world system is the product and manifestation of our abdication to Life in Equality. What does this mean? That the same system of oppression, or scarcity, of lies, of corruption, of hierarchical structures and imposition of power to generate fear is in fact the mirror of every single relationship that we formed in self interest, seeking for our individual benefit only in separation of ourselves as one and equal. This means that the imposition of ourselves as our Ego, our Mind, our Personalities, our Preferences, our Opinions, our Thoughts, our Emotions and Feelings, our Desires over the Physical matter is what became and exists now as the violation of our own ‘right to life’ where no Self Respect toward ourselves, toward the life that is here as ourselves and in the various Life Forms exists – instead  we have turned each other and this world into assets for our benefit and indiscriminate consumption. Life after life we have lived throughout generations guarding these interests as laws that we enforced to every single child born into our world without a question.

 

  • We made of our so-called Free Will and Free Choice that individual ‘course of action’ that determined the ability to abuse one another through the acceptance and allowance of self-interest, superiority and personal satisfaction of security and power over the common well being. Every single word that we have used to denigrate or deify something or someone became the symbols of power that we imposed onto ourselves as a sign of our Inability to See what is Real and Live according to it.

    All the suffering, harm and abuse  as the result  disintegration became a reality when  we imposed meanings, values as experiences over matter and made ourselves subject to it, instead of doing the process the other way around: ourselves becoming the direct beneficiaries of every single word thought and lived as a result of an understanding of ourselves as creators of our reality through the values imposed onto matter and experiences at a mind level, disregarding the physical laws and considerations wherein clearly no spec of matter has been regarded as equal, instead it has been always gauged according to the system of values that serves the Human Mind, the Human Nature that became the accepted and allowed behavior of ourselves as species, indoctrinating every individual to integrate the same patterns generation after generation, wherein some symbols became our gods – like money – and some others became the experiences in which we all got ‘lost’ and confused while missing physical reality, and dare it to call it our ‘human nature’ such as our desire to win, our desire to have more than others, our rejoice in emotions or feelings and any other mind activity that is never evident as an integral part of our physicality, because it is only existent at a mind level, as our creation.

 

  • What we regarded as ‘Our Human Nature’ in the form of emotions and feelings became the greatest distractor and consent enter-tamement to not question the laws, the rules, the systems in which we’re living in, but instead merely complied to them as a sign of ‘resignation’ because no one else seemed to be noticing how inherently flawed and wrong the system is, no one dared to question the abuse, the suffering, the poverty, the absolute madness and absurdity of how we bound ourselves to a system of values where money became an abstraction that contains the value of our work to obtain what we require to live – a giving and receiving in separation of an integral equality process, instead we became the embodiments of a an unequal relationship between what dictates in our minds and what our body requires to exist. Therefore it is through our very own laws and belief systems that we enslaved ourselves to what we believed in our minds is real, ignoring physical reality evidence of such facts being true as an inherent part of the matter and the physical.

 

  • Our integrity has been non existent from the moment we give our power away as the breath of life to exist in multiple ‘states of mind’ leading ourselves to feel ‘superior’ or ‘inferior’ to the physicality that we are, which is clearly indicating that we’ve always lived in a continuous separation from the integrity of our physical body that is as constant and consistency as the physicality that is nurtured and reconstituted in every singe breath that we take.

 

  • Our political system, our monetary system, our economy, our social structures denote the exact opposite of this physical relationship of equality and oneness that we could hold as ourselves and toward one another. This is the physical integrity that we have lacked in our words, which became our laws and eventual authorities wherein we created fictional entities to take care after ourselves. We created our kings, our policemen, our judges, our monetary system, our politicians, because they all represent the violation of our individual right to life in Self Responsibility.

 

 

Solution                                                              

Integrity and Standing in Reality is Not Determined by a ‘Piece of Paper.’” – Bernard Poolman
  • Words that stand as the law of our being of Equality and Oneness, lived and applied as a physical consistency of the recognition of who we are as life are the key and way to ensure that we establish our individual an collective Integrity by our individual decision to live according to that which is best for all.

 

  • The process of Self Forgiveness wherein we  take Self Responsibility for the Accepted and Allowed Mind-Nature as thoughts, emotions, feelings  that we have imposed onto ourselves as physical beings is the way to  establish our definitive integrity. This is for us to understand how we created relationships of self diminishment or self aggrandizement in self-interest, causing the tumor as an overgrowth  that indicates the violation of the physical matter of Equality. This Self Forgiveness Process is the key to understand our individual and collective participation in the current outcome we’re living in as our society and world system. This responsibility comes with immediate self-directive solutions that are understood and lived at an individual level to create and establish the Law of our Being in Equality.

 

  • Money as the creation and manifestation of such system of self-abuse will also become the solution; this is within the principle of ‘Like Cures Like’ wherein we are determined to make of money a tool that represents this reintegration of Equality and equalize its function to our physical breathing, which means it will become a guaranteed giving and receiving of the resources we require to live, it is an insurance to maintain our physical integrity where all parts are equally supported, which will translate into an  integral society where relationships are formed in an interdependent manner, existing in a one and equal recognition of our responsibility to live. This implies absolute self directive principles to grant each other the right to live that is not ‘demanded,’ but instead founded and created through our collective ability to honor ourselves and each other as equals.

 

  • Once that money ceases to exist as the driving force within our lives, actual integrity will emerge in our society which will create new forms of entertainment, of relationships, of social interactions that will be based on mutual support and understanding where no ‘hidden interests’ will exist in an attempt to harm or abuse for personal gain. This means that our ability to stop abuse will form part of our ability to construct this integrity as who we are: no abuse, no harm and no disregard will be accepted or allowed to exist.

Rewards                                                  

  • Living Self-Integrity is the foundation of a fear-less society where each one’s words can be measured according to the actions lived that generate the Best Living condition for all.  It is the actual consideration, understanding and regard to guard each one’s well being as our own which will result in a mutual honor that has never before been existent in our society toward each part of ourselves as one and equal. 

 

  • Self Honesty is the principle in which we recognize that our individual well being is founded upon our ability to respond and act in the best interest of all, which creates the relationships of self support, dignity, respect, compassion and consideration to one another once that we live in a world where another is seen as an equal part of ourselves and no longer someone to fear, abuse, extort or compete against.

 

  • The living of our individual Integrity leads to generate the necessary foundation to establish Self Trust within ourselves and toward one another to ensure that no matter where we are, what we say and the decisions we make, we are always acting according to that which is best for all which is the manifestation and living practicality of what Love and Honor should be. This is the key to manifest a heaven on Earth but for that, we have to establish our Self Honesty and Self Forgiveness first – this is the Individual process we’re walking and invite you to participate within the understanding that Education is the first step to understand where, how and why we separated ourselves from life.

 

Education is Available here:

 

Equal Money Capitalism The Future of Integrity

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275. Child Addicts: Problem–Solution–Rewards

In the Equal Money Capitalism, we are presenting the current problems that are affecting our society, directing it toward a solution and looking at how we will all be benefited from having a world that stops running in self-abusive, harmful and destructive patterns.

In this blog, we are continuing from the presentation of the problem in the last post 274. Child Drug Addicts – here we are directing the problem toward a solution that invariably generates equal rewards. This means that the same pattern of rehabilitation and solution can be applied to any other country/ population that presents a similar problematic.

Watch the documentary Afghanistan’s Child Drug Addicts in order to become aware of how drug addictions does not only mean ‘wanting to escape’ reality out of fun and having enough money to sponsor your own escapist-habits.

 

  • Problem:

War in Afghanistan  has destroyed the city, many have been killed leaving families without parents to take care of children.

– Males use drugs in order to be able to work longer hours, which means not enough money is made and as such, bring the addictions home and spread even to 1 and a half year old babies.

– Children lose limbs because of the war and have no medicines to cope with the pain, villages are attacked wherein civilians become casualties of war. Parents have no other option but to give them opium to ease the pain, which leads them to become addicts from then on.

 

Psychological Damage: Teenagers suffer from depression because of loss of family members in bombings/ witnessing suicide bombers/ seeing dead people and having to recover from the traumatic experience which means, coping with suicidal tendencies.

– Families torn apart by the wars – hence children as young as 11 years old turn to drugs to cope with reality.

– Children turn to prostitution from the age of 8 years old in order to fund their own addictions – there’s no jobs/ no work.

– The Afghan powder/ heroin is the cheapest in the world here because of drug cartels now turning their poppy harvest into heroin, so it is ubiquitous. One gram is over 1 Pound.

 

– Poverty: High rates of unemployment make of drug addiction the common way of spending time and curbing the need for food.

– Adult population turn heroin addicts in order to cope with a reality where no support is given.

– Children are adopting the patterns of the parents within the consumption of heroin in order to mitigate hunger.

– No health provided, no doctors available, no support on how to deal with child addicts.

– Food is more expensive than opium.

– People would sell drugs to make a decent living, and with the eradication of their plantations, they have no other option but taking drugs due to lacking food.

– Not able to afford medicines, opium is the answer.

Family Crisis: Parents  give opium to their children in order to mitigate hunger

– Half of all opium users give it to their children of which the number is in the rise due to no solutions.

– Other children just become addicts due to the parents’ smoke

– Parents give their children drugs in order to cope with the pain and hunger.

– There’s not enough food to feed the whole family and when smoking opium, they lose the appetite.

Drug Addiction is seen as a dishonor in Islam : leads people to be afraid to ask for support.

– Only one center deals with child addiction in the entire country.

 

Consequences:

– A Generation of Drug addicts is created.

 

  • Solution:

– No more wars in order to obtain resources from other countries

– No more wars against ‘terrorism’ as wars are in itself terrorism

– Changing the harvesting of heroin for money into foods for human consumption. Drug consumption won’t be a necessity if everyone is given equal support.

– Proper living conditions that ensure all people have access to decent jobs such as reconstruction/ building of houses, schools and all the infrastructure that has been destroyed with the wars

– Education to parents in order to take care of their children with proper medical health supervision to not treat any form of ache with opium

– Educating the population about the long term addiction problems that ensue when giving their children opium/ heroin.

– Access to food,  water, sanitation services, education, nutritional and parenting counseling while developing crops to grow actual food and not drugs.

– Rehabilitation programs that are openly supported by the government: no more religious veto toward addictions which means, facing the problem as the national crisis it has become.

– Kids without parents given to proper adoptive ones that will ensure no abuse is committed onto them.

 

  • Rewards: 

– Peace, safety, tranquility for all inhabitants in the world with ceasing fire and all forms of warfare.

-Resources that were directed toward defense against the invasion can now be directed to support the population to get to live in dignified living conditions.

– Healthy living conditions/ environments wherein people can learn how to take care of their children while having access to proper food, water, sanitation, education and practical care considerations to ensure no more addictions are generated due to lack of money.

– Education availability based on self-care, proper nutritional habits and taking care of the environment as well as involving the parents to rebuild the city/ houses given the necessary means to do so.

– An actual historical treasure that this country represents could be open for visits without having tourists fearing to be another causality of war or kidnapped.

– No more child prostitution or drug addiction, no more depression or suicidal bombers – the living conditions given in equality generate a sense of well being within all individuals, ensuring real happiness as an actual possibility that will never again  be silenced by the sound of a bomb.

– Ensuring a generation of human beings that learn the consequences of war and poverty as they are supported to gain stability through communal support toward the reconstruction and rehabilitation of themselves and their environment.

 

Read all about the Equal Money Capitalism here in the Economist’s Journey to Life and the Equal Money System website

Equal Money Capitalism

 

 

 

 

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257. A Piece of Heaven at the Expense of Life

Why do people turn to drugs? There is a definitive reason that cause all the dimensions that play a role  in our current Drug Culture as either cause/effect,  but a common thing is definitely the root and cause of WHY people turn to drugs. We all know the usual things, for example: to escape from oneself, to hide, to run away from the mind, to stop the abhorrent self-experience, to avoid taking responsibility for one’s life and relationships, self-loathing, etc. – but, have we asked why do we have these problems? One can say: family problems, relationship problems, issues with one’s ‘flawed self,’ physical issues, lack of self esteem, heritage, cultural trends, traditions, religions, survivalism in clans/ mafias/ brotherhoods, spiritual beliefs, shamanism, environmental contingencies, availability of narcotics due to associations/ alliances, legal drugs due to psychological conditions, and the list may go on – However, behind all of this one must see one common thing: human conditions that have lead to all of these problems/ issues/ separations and sectarianism that stems from a basic problem in our society: a lack of support for all living beings to have a dignified living that creates a proper environmental condition where All beings would be able to live without having to worry about not making it through the next day, not having to tolerate the injustice and abuse that is accepted and allowed within a system that only caters for some– that’s it. 

 

And that’s what we know in common sense and what can also be watched in all the various documentaries* about drugs that are affecting our societies wherein there is simply an absolute boredom, menial jobs for the working class – or no job opportunities at all – and a general dissociation from wanting to have anything to do with a ‘shitty world/ shitty system that doesn’t give a fuck about life!’ hence turning to have an alternate reality where ‘everything is fine, a heaven in one’s mind for a moment, a harmful  momentary high that turns into a lethal habit that leads to a living condition that is mostly deplorable in most of the cases, as well as leading to any other ‘sudden deaths’ out of the usual ODs and other negligence  that stems from lacking any form of precaution when ingesting/ inhaling/injecting/smoking a drug. It is even common to have people that do this on a regular basis become ‘icons’ in our society, our ‘role models’ which can already point out what type of ‘human quality’ we’ve become fanatics of.

 

It is also interesting how drug-culture became mainstream to a point now wherein one can watch a “music video” and there’s people smoking weed, one can watch a movie and get all the specifics on how people shoot themselves heroin and even all the withdrawal processes in a explicit manner, like in Trainspotting which is probably one of the most popular and obliged reference about drugs for many people that even learned how to do drugs through watching the movie.  I will tell more about that in following posts.

 

The reason why this is an important topic is because drugs as any other form of escapism, represents the aspect we hold on to the most, as it is a self-created intricate relationship we form with only Experience as an Energetic physical experience induced by chemicals in the physical body – the reason why I find it so important to expose is because it’s ubiquitous nowadays for people to be aware of all types of drugs and ways to get high or even self-harm to get a moment of absolute adrenaline –rush/drug of the mind . That’s becoming a children’s game  and I’m referring to what I became aware of today as the salt and ice challenge – I mean, this is how kids age 10 or even less can get used to having a way to get this absolute pain and fear that are the most ‘powerful’ self-experiences created at a mind level when inducing pain along with the ‘challenge’ aspect – where kids will mostly broadcast themselves doing so to ‘prove’ to others they are able to ‘handle it,’ and what mostly happens is kids then will turn to seek for more ‘intense experiences’ like that. Even our words and vocabulary is pointing out blatantly what it is that we are inducing within ourselves: that was Intense! all energy based, and if you’ve been reading these series, you would be aware by now of how energy operates within the physical body through consciousness as a system that we believe is ‘who we really are,’ which is comprised of all our thoughts, emotions and feelings that we whole-heartedly have believed is ‘what living is for’ and if not.

 

This Grave mistake of identifying ourselves with all the drama, excitement and high-intensity of any self-experience is what is mostly leading us to an actual death wherein we disregard actual life/living just for a ‘little piece of heaven.’

And this is what’s leading humanity to a certain end if a single pattern of addiction continues without any definitive decision to STOP.

 

Please read the series to catch up to this point:

220. Drug Culture: Mad Society as a Lifestyle

 

 

I had made a pause in these series due to the impending ‘doomsday’ that I decided to write about due to my inherent responsibility in having participated pretty much in that type of doom-mentality or gloomy-self-experience as we’ve called it – and what is left is pretty much ourselves, having to face what we have become and as such, take the wheel of our reality in all levels, in all ways and have a look at how we’ve become what we’ve become, which is also another form of escapism through the mind to evade the responsibility we all have here.

 

Drug Culture is quite a common topic virtually everywhere in the world, no matter if it’s a high-energy-hyped society like many places in Europe and America or a third world/ poor country in Africa, or under developed regions like South America – everyone’s got the same ‘epidemic’ which is drugs which includes alcoholism as main problems that maim  the ability for any being to realize and take self responsibility, because drugs imply one single point: a giving up experience that is now turned into an addiction, a need, a fascination and obsession wherein people are literally willing to give all their money, all their life just for one single initial ‘rush’ that any drug can give them. While observing this, it is impossible to not create a parallel to what we understand now of how the mind works, wherein we create our own fixations in order to fuel and satisfy this idea of ourselves that we’ve simply copied, absorbed and ‘become/ embodied’ without a question, and that includes addictive patterns of seeking this ‘greatness’ as an energetic experience that is able to be obtained with drugs, pretty much flushing your entire life down the toilette for a single self belief of you being ‘perfectly fine/ in control / able to quit any time and all of the people that have been severely enrolled in hardcore addictions mostly find it very hard if not impossible to actually live out that belief of being able to stop and quit at any time.

 

That is One single dimension of the addiction: the energetic experience that we are familiar with the moment we accept emotions and feelings as ‘who we are’ and what drugs do is an overall enhancement of this relationship within the ‘who we are’ as the mind, which implies that we are completely hooked on absolute self abuse, since any energetic experience  – as anything that requires energy – is not ‘for free,’ it is an actual process of consumption of the very physical tissue/ fabric that provides the necessary resources for any drug to function properly – this is why the deterioration of the physical takes place in drug addicts/ consumers – among other various dimensions that involve the living conditions that hard-core long-time addicts end up living in or are born in, which is also another aspect that leads to drugs – all in all: stems from lacking actual living support in all ways to live in a sound and healthy environment where life could be actually honored = hence it is a matter of Collective Responsibility, since we are all responsible for continuing fueling a system that is not providing a sound environment for us to develop our expression to our utmost potential.

 

The purpose of these blogs will be to point out main factors that lead to drug consumption, the reasons behind that and how to support oneself to Prevent drug-addictions, referencing the usual ways in which one picks up this belief of drugs being the ‘greatest thing ever’ as well as gathering enough strength to realize there IS a solution to this world, there IS a way to support ourselves to stop seeking to ESCape from reality and instead, sober up and stand up to support the actual change we all dreamed of, it’s in our hands, so we must clean our act before we can establish ourselves in the actual world we have all wanted to live in, and within this, also paving the way for the children to come and ensure they do have the absolute opportunities  to Live and express themselves, and never again resort to any form of escapism through the mind to manifest a self-abusive ‘heaven’ in the mind.

 

Erroneously – those that Profess to be ‘Souls’, will Claim that the Body of Flesh is a temporary Illusion. And they would base it on the Experience they Generate through Mind Systems, which Follows the Design of the System where: the Search for Meaning and Reason, would Follow through the Combination of Predesigned Platonic Solids as Key Parts to Systems that produce Energy and Visual Input which the Person Align with, So Intensely that they Believe that it is Real, and they Disregard the Simple Reality of a Breath and Food and Bodily Functions that Keeps them Alive.
In this, these ‘Souls’ End-up Acting like Vampires in the Physical Reality, Seeking to Consume everything in their Path for the Self-Interest of the ‘Feeling’ that Produce, according to them, the ‘Experience of Happiness’. The fact that this ‘Happiness’ is Produced at the Cost of the Suffering of Uncountable Living Beings – Simply is Ignored or Seen as ‘Collateral Damage’ of an Illusion that will ‘Suddenly, Magically’ Disappear.”  – Bernard Poolman +

 

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Documentaries/ Videos suggested that present the context of what Drug Culture implies– Viewers discretion suggested: NSFW


170. Positive Thinking Irresponsibility

Continuing with Procrastination Character 

Positive Imagination

As I had mentioned in the previous entry, whenever I had the ‘negative imagination’ such as the point of confronting my writings with my professor, I immediately create a rather positive point of imagination that is related then to, instead of dedicating myself to my writing, I would decide to rather ‘do some small things here and there’ and then go outside for a walk, for example.

I have made no excuse to not go outside for a walk as it’s been a very supportive point, however I see how within this same process of planning my day to ensure I do make some time to go out for a walk, I apply and implement the same for all my other tasks. This means that the seemingly ‘innocent’ moment of imagining the walk outside becomes another point of distraction.

 

Now, what I have realized as well is that this positive imagination does not ‘roll out’ much so to speak, meaning I am not fantasizing all the way about ‘walking’ or else, it’s simply a thought that rolls into the imagination of the air/ breeze, the view of the sun going down, clouds covering the sun, and having something to buy in the vegetable and fruit store/ getting milk – all which are also points that in my mind I make as ‘priority’ and something that ‘must be done no matter what’ which is yes, necessary – however the point is how I use these seemingly common sensical aspects to then simply place everything aside to ‘go get it.’ This means that I have ‘evolved’ somehow my own parameters of tricking myself into simply ‘leaving everything for a moment and going outside’ – which is how I then spend more than an hour out, come back to then see it as ‘too late to write.’

 

There are also future-projection points of imagination, wherein I am mostly waiting for the moment when it is all done and I simply can finally leave and be ‘free’ according to my expectations, which is probably the point of imagination that creates the most ‘noise’ as it is only within these thinking processes and imagination that I see it as ‘too far to get there’ and in that moment, instead of making the decision to walk it through in the moment and get it done, I go into the DIT (Do It Tomorrow) state wherein I simply give up any possibility of even approaching the document – thus, here another imagination with a negative charge comes in within this ‘battle’ between the positive and the negative: I go into the imagination of having to read through all these scattered bits of information and trains of thought that I had poured into that paper, aside from criticizing my Spanish for having too many ‘weird sentence constructions’ which I see I can simply stop judging and re-write in a more suitable manner.

Thus this imagination of having to ‘go through the document’ comes as it is: me sitting in front of my laptop and reading through the information, having to go creating the necessary cites and becoming quite specific within it all which in my mind has become part of an ‘undesired nightmare’ which is only me as my mind making of this task the boogey monster just by this image of me scrolling down all the writing and trying to ‘make sense of it all.’

I stop and I breathe as I see how there is even an anxiety linked to this imagination as I write it out here. It’s fascinating how within this simple example I see and realize how the seemingly ‘positive’ does not emerge from ‘nowhere,’ it’s actually stemming from the negative initial imagination of having to write/ having to fix/amend my writing/ having to actually do it and instead, covering it up with my personal version of love-and-light which is walking outside, having a ‘cool time’ and talking myself into it which I’ll disclose later in the backchat dimension. Thus it is plain to see how we cannot claim that the positive is ‘what it’s meant to be,’ as its very origin is actually a defense mechanism/ a distraction that we create in order to not have to face an actual point of responsibility. I also see and realize that I cannot have the single audacity of judging ‘love and light’ as long as I am creating my own ‘love and light’ through my positive imagination rolling in a seemingly ‘innocent/ harmless’ manner, which has actually become an accumulation of a ‘good/ positive experience’ to cover up the actual procrastination/ negative experience that I have accepted and allowed within me.

DSC01269

So, let’s roll with Self Forgiveness these points:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a positive imagination point of me going outside, seeing the weather as perfect for a walk and in that moment imagine myself strolling around, experiencing the chilly breeze of air, the streets, the moment of walking in order to convince myself that I should rather go out for a walk instead of writing and leaving the writing for ‘later,’ without realizing that this single occurrence that I have made ‘okay’ to be disciplined about in my day to day living – such as doing it on a daily basis no matter what – has become one of the primary factors to kind of ‘make my day’ to in my mind create a positive experience toward it, instead of facing the point of responsibility that I am ‘saving for later’ due to choosing to go and do that which makes me feel ‘good’ and ‘fine’ about myself/ my day.

When and as I see myself being in the moment of the day wherein I see that it is time for me to write/ tap into the writing itself and get the image rolling of me walking in the street, I stop and I breathe. I realize that this is the moment wherein I make the commitment to not just follow the ‘positive image’ and instead commit myself to do what I require to do, which implies that I can instead schedule my day to ensure that I get to do all my tasks, including my walk, and instead of seeking to have ‘long hours for my writing’ only, I make it a point to work on it in a consistent manner, as this is the only way I see I can ensure that I do not continue postponing and ‘saving for later.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in my mind make it ‘okay’ to imagine for a moment me walking outside/ going out for a walk and use that single point of imagination as enough of a reason to go outside and actually do it, leaving aside everything else because ‘it’s my time and my moment for myself,’ – thus within this positive backchatting creating an acceptable reason for me to do that instead of actually focusing on making it a point to write before I go to the walk, and this is a more suitable way to actually direct my day instead of being ‘waiting’ for the apparent ‘right moment’ that is actually subsumed by all other tasks and bits that I instead go into, leaving aside once again this primary task that must be done.

When and as I see myself making the point of walking an okay thing to do in the moment, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I can in fact continue having that moment within my day, however instead of using the time as a ticking clock for the time to go outside, I use that time to go into my writing. I see and realize that I have created this idea of me having to be in a particular ‘moment/ point of experience’ to be able to write about this, this which is bullshit and a blatant excuse disguised with characters to actually not do what I have to do.

 

Thus I commit myself to not leave the writing for ‘the end of the day’ as I realize that such moment is not the most ‘suitable moment’ to do so, as that is when I instead go into any other point that requires direction  or even another distraction wherein I then waste time that I could have used to do whatever I did before going out for a walk.

In this I see that it is more suitable for me to write during the day than waiting at night to do so, as the night comes and then the ‘Do it tomorrow’ mode becomes another way to justify not getting to it today.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold the imagination as a remembrance of me deciding to write my document and having to go through these endless pages of scattered information that I have equated to a point and experience of anxiety and frustration and irritation, due to me having had no regard to go placing the necessary data to be able to identify the information appropriately.

 

When and as I see myself using the imagination of me scrolling down the entire document and reading through it as a negative experience within me, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I have kept this memory as a point to re-enact whenever I am ‘apparently’ making a decision to just do it, and that I have repeated and integrated at the level of a physical habit in order to Not do things which is unacceptable, as I then pull out the imagination point of ‘walking outside’ as a positive experience and make it ‘okay’ to just leave everything else for later.

I commit myself to stop fooling myself within my own mind with all types of images and excuses and justifications to not move and not do this  – it is even quite a joke to see how I have committed myself to write on a daily basis for a while now and how I have been able to do that without major problem, however when it comes to another writing point that I have separated from my current writing, I judge it as a burden/ as a point of resistance which simply allows me to see where and how I have created separation within my own value system of what type of writing is ‘more important to do’ instead of actually realizing that if I am able to write here, I am able to write in just another word document as well – it is a single physical aspect/ point to walk through, committing myself to remain here as breath to not allow any negative experience such as anxiety or fear itself as a single point that prevents me from simply doing it.

I commit myself to walk through the resistance to write and stop all positive imagination to not do it in that moment, and instead direct myself to open the document, start reading/ looking at points that require to be re-written, re-arranged and give it the same point of dedication that I have committed myself to in my daily writings, as it is then a single point to extend my responsibility to.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create my own ‘temptations’ through my own participation in imagination, wherein I then become a ‘victim’ of my own positive-imagination to lure me into doing something that I ‘enjoy’ instead of doing that which must be done no matter what.

 

When and as I see myself creating my own ‘temptations’ of luring myself into doing something that I would ‘rather do’ and ‘enjoy more’ doing/ participating in, I stop and I breathe. I realize that this is my point of responsibility and I see how it is just like a foolish point to continue giving my power away to this, as I realize that no matter how much I ‘think of doing it,’ it won’t make me more or less responsible about it, this is about being physically moving here wherein I stop all assessments, judgments, time calculations, positive imagination thinking and future projecting about the task at hand – instead, I bring myself back to breath and simply do it.

I commit myself to not use a positive image of me doing anything else BUT going into the actual physical opening of the document and working on it which I realize  is just an action of Doing it.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be controlled by my own imagination as a positive and or negative experience that in both cases, becomes an obstacle for me to not do it, within this

When and as I see myself going into my own imagination as an excuse to not do things, I stop and I breathe. I realize that I have made it ‘okay’ for me to ‘follow my desire to have a positive experience’ during the day instead of realizing that it is not about giving up ‘walking’ altogether, but simply not using it as an excuse or reason in my mind to do this instead of ‘that.’

I commit myself to stop participating in my mind in imagination in order to actually get REAL and physical with what is required to be done.

Desteni

Desteni Forum

Desteni I Process

Equal Money System 

 

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Blogs:

Character Dimensions – IMAGINATION Dimension (Part 2): DAY 166

Character Dimensions – REACTION Dimension (Part 1): DAY 170

Day 170: After Death Communication – Part 19

 

Interviews:

Quantum Mind Self Awareness – STEP 1

Quantum Mind Self Awareness – STEP 2


122. ‘Is this as good as it gets?’

 

 

Even when I was in a moment with ‘established’ friendships and relationships, there would always be a time wherein I just wanted to be left alone, even if I was already quiet habituated to be with them during the day, I would always hit the  introverted mode wherein I would just remain quiet while backchatting about me wanting to leave home:  how could I get myself out of this situation, can’t he just stop talking, if I say that I don’t want to go then Ill be seen as anti-social, he/ she will take i t personal if I don’t want to go there –I just want to go home. And then getting home was just being apparently ‘free’ again, which is just where my ‘default character’ would come up, wanting to be alone.

 
And this is a fantastic mechanism of the mind to keep me bound to first generation an expectation of wanting to do something/ see someone and then going to the actual experience, not getting ‘my energy’ – therefore, experiencing boredom or dissatisfaction and therefore, only seeking to be alone again, only to create further mindfucks about me being ‘incapable’ of being with others for an extended period of time, or simply having something ‘wrong’ within me that would lead me to always seek out to be alone again. All of it self created for very specific reasons and purposes that rely on self interest.  Some of the main backchat on this is:
 

I am getting tired of this, it’s getting boring

I think of Just being alone, no one bothering me

I think it’s time to go home, how can I slip out of this?

He’s trying to be entertaining, but it doesn’t work anymore

Oh man now he’ll be sad because I’m leaving

I’m finally free again

Why do I repeat the same cycle over and over again?

I always end up wanting to leave after having desired to be here

I worry that nothing seems to satisfy me,
What if this is ‘as good as it gets?

 

Self-Forgiveness and Self Corrective Statements 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to build an expectation upon ‘wanting to see someone to have a good time’ wherein I project myself in a positive manner/’having a good time’ with another, which eventually ‘deflates’ as everything must go all the way down when participating in ideals of ‘positive experience,’ which are in essence a mindfuck created in order for me to every time believe that I had to ‘hold on’ to a particular relationship in order to always experience the ‘joy’ of seeing someone, regardless of how I would always end up experiencing the downfall/ negative once that the energy built up is used up, leaving me ‘high and dry’ which is how I realize I would go through my days: seeking an experience to be ‘more’ than the moment wherein I am here as breath, as the physical.

When and as I see myself creating an expectation upon a future moment of wanting to meet someone/ be somewhere else in order to experience myself in a positive way, I stop and I breathe – I realize that building up a positive expectation eventually meets its downfall as a negative experience. Thus I direct myself to simply be here in every moment with and as whatever point I face in my reality, wherein no good or bad projections are created, as I stick to remain here as breath.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow the thought of me  being alone, laying on my bed, doing nothing, not being disturbed as the perfect ‘state of mind’ wherein I am able to keep ‘the loner’ character in place, as there is nothing or no one in it that challenges my own self-religion. Thus I see and realize how I have used this thought of ‘going home’ and ‘being alone’ as a defense mechanism whenever something is actually challenging my own personality that doesn’t want to be ‘disturbed’ at all.

When and as I see myself thinking about that image of me being alone at home, I stop and I breathe – I realize that this is a red-flag  thought wherein I must look at where and how it is that I am wanting to escape a moment of actual self-support and transcendence of a limitation within communicating/ interacting with others.

I assist and support myself to realize the image of me ‘being alone’ as a personality fail safe that I have kept in order to ensure that I always remain within the ‘bounds’ of my own self-limitation as the characters that I have played out in relation to ‘the loner,’ which is also creating an experience of apparent ‘depression’ in order to have a way to justify my ‘instability,’ wherein I am only manipulating others to ‘accept me as I am’ which was a deliberate ‘loner’ and ‘freakishly behaved’ person that would be extremely joyful and then extremely down from one moment to the next, showing a deliberate face of dissatisfaction so that others could try and do ‘whatever they could to make me happy/ cheer me up’ again – which is absolute self manipulation.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to start backchatting myself desiring to leave a certain place/ someone, simply because my energetic drive to be there is no longer ‘strong enough,’ hence I realize that I start projecting myself as this discomfort in my entire physical body that transforms into a mild annoyance that I express in the totality of and as my physical body, just because I already ‘got what I wanted’ and then want to leave the person/place/ situation in order to be alone, which is wanting to go back to the ‘safe spot’ in my mind where nothing and no one disturbs me.

When and as I see myself wanting to escape a moment just because I have already gotten my ‘quick fix’ of positive experience in a certain place/ meeting with someone – I stop and I breathe – I direct myself to interact and be here in the moment without projecting myself into a future moment of just being alone, as I see and realize that this is me just following the ‘default’ setting of my apparent ‘stability’ as in ‘being alone.’ Thus I direct myself to remain here as breath in whatever moment/ situation with whomsoever I am spending a moment with. I am here as breath, I do not require to be ‘alone’ to be here in and as breath in physical stability.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an apparent ‘exhaustion’ from being with others, wherein I would go into a ‘vexed mode’ and ‘annoyed’ simply because I had built an entire future projection of my moment with them/ such person being ‘just great’/extraordinary – thus when my dream would not meet reality, I would feel disappointed and as such, creating the opposite experience was a way to get myself back to my ‘default mode’ which was creating a an ideal positive experience out of being alone – hence

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that within being alone I don’t have to ‘uphold any character’ toward others, without realizing that the single character of ‘Wanting to be alone’ is my default character, which I have simply not even opened up because of believing that it was ‘perfectly normal’ for me to ‘want to be alone’ at all times, which is in fact another defense mechanism wherein I then react in every moment that I have to actually share a moment/ space with others – thus

 

When and as I see myself creating a polarity of positive experience and negative experience out of the ideal in my mind of what ‘being alone’ is, I stop and I breathe –I realize that I have created this default character of always wanting to be alone in order to not challenge myself to step out of my own self-limitation. Thus I assist myself to remain here as breath and stop any desire to run away from everyone and leave a place, as I see that I am only running away from facing myself as others in a moment of interaction.

I assist and support myself to take a moment to simply focus on breathing and realize that I am here and that being with people or being alone doesn’t change who I am here as breath, as the physical.

I commit myself to walk the ‘default character’ of myself defined as me being alone, which is essentially still trying to protect my ‘loneliness’ as my ‘safe heaven.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine myself just walking home, being at home, and being alone whenever I see that another is just trying to ‘keep up the positive experience’ in the moment, wherein I decidedly react in a vexed and annoyed manner, indicating that I am simply ‘not having a good time’ and wanting to escape, which is when I become very quiet and showing little to no excitement about anything, which comes from the entire relationship play out that I created for myself, wherein I would be like a ‘cheerleader’ trying to make a ‘good moment’ out of anything, eventually and inevitably facing the counter act which is having a ‘low’ and and a downfall, which is when the thought of just stepping out of the scene comes up, which translates of wanting to stop upholding such agreeable character in a relationship and go back to my ‘safe place’ as in being alone and not having to ‘deal’ with others, without realizing that this is about me dealing with my own backchat and experiences created upon others’ actions, words in a particular moment.

When and as I see myself becoming ‘tired’ when being with another, annoyed/ vexed, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am then upholding a character as in being ‘positive/ agreeable’ creating an inevitable ‘downfall’ of energy as the negative and just wanting to shut another up. Thus I assist and support myself to be HERE in the moment without changing ‘who I am’ according to the people or environment – I am here, I breathe and as such I interact and communicate without holding myself back upon assessing communication as being either a positive/likeness or negative/disliking according to the judgment I have created upon communication.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that another takes my ‘quiet’ attitude as personal, thinking that they will believe they are not ‘good enough to keep me entertained’ (wtf?) which is just me projecting my own inner conflict onto others to not take responsibility for my own characters and see how I manipulate myself to manipulate in deliberately making it evident that ‘I am not having a good time’ and a such, wanting to push them to do ‘all they can’ to maintain a good time/ keep me entertained with something, which is absolutely unsustainable and ludicrous to even conceive how our relationships have only been based on this desire to please or ‘keep someone entertained’ in order to ‘have a good time’ which is absolutely reducing each other to characters that masturbate each other until the orgasmic experience comes and then, one just wants to leave the place and seek for the next fix somewhere else.

I realize that I have created these characters in order to trigger an experience within another so that they could then come up with an idea to do something that would ‘cheer me up’ or ‘keep me entertained’ which can only be applicable if I am in fact only wanting to keep relationships of ‘good times,’ instead of self-stability here in every moment of breath. Thus I direct myself to support me here to not create subcharacters to defend the ‘ideal’ loner character, as all such points are in fact unnecessary if one take self responsibility to remain stable in every moment of breath, no matter where or with whom we are.

When and as I see myself fearing another’s reaction upon my own quietness – I stop and I breathe. I realize that I won’t even have to be playing ‘the quiet’ subcharacter as a support for ‘the loner’ character because I won’t be limiting myself to only create the idea of me having a ‘good time’ by myself, alone – thus I see and realize that if I am quiet it is because I in fact have nothing to say and that another’s thoughts upon me have nothing to do with what I decide to live as in every moment, taking into consideration that I won’t deliberately be quiet in order to instigate a reaction within another, but ensuring that I am in fact here breathing and as such being open to speak or not speak according to the moment.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to actually lie about ‘having to do something’ in order to leave, which is just part of the entire lies as the characters that I kept up with another in order to remain in such relationship, in order to please ourselves and, paradoxically enough, to ‘not be alone’ which is the actual polarity I went back and forth with: wanting to be alone and then seeking to not be alone through relationships. I realize that my ability to be here and interact with anyone does not require for me to create ‘special bonds’/ ideal moments that I then bind myself to, I am able to remain stable and consistent here as breathe and open to share and interact with others without fearing or desiring to be alone, as I am here, breathing in my physical body and that being alone or with people does not define who I am.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being considered as ‘antisocial’ whenever I leave a place to go home, however I see and realize that most of the times I did so in order to keep myself ‘safe’ from having to confront myself. Therefore I make sure that I do not ‘pay attention’ to any potential judgments arising from me leaving a place/ not visiting a place/ someone for some time, as I realize that if I do not go or interact for extended periods of time is simply because the moment/ event/ situation is not self supportive and I would rather be doing something that is in fact self supportive.

When and as I see myself finding an excuse to go home/ be alone again, I stop and I breathe, I realize that it is me as the mind as the character of the loner playing out as I do not require to make excuses to simply decide to leave or actually reassess why it is that I am wanting to leave someone/ certain place, which is where self honesty comes in- thus I assess whether the moment is supportive or not, whether I actually would rather be doing something that is self-supportive than being with such person or in a certain place. This I do ensuring that it is not energy that’s driving me to ‘be alone’ but a simple common sensical consideration without fearing leaving another, or fearing being judged for leaving a certain place.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear causing a ‘negative experience’ within another for me leaving, which is just me creating further reactions, compromising myself and instigating further inner conflict to leave, when in fact ‘leaving’ in itself is and must be a decision in the moment wherein I am clear and stable as myself to do so, without holding any specific ‘considerations’ upon what this decision will cause in another, as that is simply my own projection of the play outs I have created within relationships and the fear of losing them .

Thus when and as I see myself fearing causing a ‘negative experience’ within others for me leaving a certain place and moment, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I have used this as an excuse to only remain in the place, keeping the same desires to go home, instigating further inner conflict and discomfort just because of compromising myself in this singular point, which is unacceptable – thus I realize that I am the one that is able to simply make a decision to leave in the moment and that’s it – no further consequences when being self honest and clear about my decision.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘feel free again’ whenever I leave a place/ someone, creating then a positive experience out of having created my own negative experience as in being ‘suppressed’ while being with another/ in a certain place, which is how I kept myself looping around positive and negative experiences that I would blame others for apparently ‘spoiling,’ instead of seeing and realizing how I created it all for myself as an excuse to not have to see why it is that I was so addicted to this feel good/ feel bad energetic experience as a way to ‘keep relationships in place’ within my world.

When and as I see myself experiencing a relief, a positive experience as in ‘being free again’ when leaving someone/ a particular place – I stop and I breathe – I realize that this is stemming from ‘the loner’ character as the positive experience of being alone, when in fact, being alone must not be a positive experience, but an actual self-stability in every moment of breath.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an inner conflict out of ‘not knowing why I always want to be alone’ which is an added conflict as an ‘I don’t understand myself’ subcharacter in order to reinforce ‘the loner’ character wherein I believe that ‘there’s something wrong with me’ as an apparent inability to enjoy the moment/ share myself with another, which is just part of the mechanism to keep me entertained within my mind as characters that I created in order to constantly be ‘experiencing’ a beingness as a mood or a ‘way of being’ just like me being the main character of my own movie wherein I would be always a depressive person seeking a positive experiences for a moment and ‘get what I want’ in such manner.

I realize that I have kept this apparent inability to fully enjoy myself simply because of having believed that self enjoyment was something bombastic and ‘outrageous,’ which I simply would not be able to experience myself, thus believing that there was something ‘wrong’ with me not being overtly excited or joyful at time, which is how we create these conflicts based on what we watch in movies/ ideal situations wherein people have this ‘perfect good time’ just because of having lots of money or fame and any kind of culturally accepted ‘successful living’ and ‘enjoyable experience,’ which only exists as a mirage for all of us to constantly seek for such positive experience at all cost, which obviously is not real and never was.

When and as I see myself creating an inner conflict when thinking ‘I don’t know what’s wrong with me’ wherein I am apparently incapable of being with another for an extended period of time, I stop and I breathe. I realize that this is just a backup to always try and defend my personality as ‘the loner’ that does not want to realize how this is actually a defense mechanism to not face ourselves as another, which is how we fear yet desire relationships as a point of inner conflict, simply because we haven’t allowed ourselves to simply be here, breathing, without having an entire ‘mood’ in our minds at all times.

 

I realize that we are the only ones that create our own characters as a way to abuse our simplicity of being here, as breath, as the physical that we have fully ignored while creating inner conflicts and seeking to be ‘more’ than ourselves here already, which his unacceptable.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create my own mindfucks as ‘inner conflicts’ of wanting to be alone all the time, yet deliberately seeking relationships/ seeking to be with others, which is just a perfect mechanism to keep me bound to conflict, to friction and to further consequence, wherein I would always end up ensuring that I remain ‘safe’ as my main character ‘the loner,’ which is why and how relationships came to an end, as I was apparently unable to be/ stand another for an extended period of time, which was only because would face myself/dynamite the foundation of ‘the loner’ character, as I see and realize that being with others, communicating, interacting is the key to see ourselves for real – because when we are all alone in our perfect bubble, nothing seems to move – yet the minor interaction and confrontation with the real world or another being is the actual moment wherein we can test for ourselves if we are in fact really ‘here’ or not.

Thus I assist and support myself to continue opening up with people  in communication and interaction in order to continue applying myself and physically directing me to be constant and consistent within my application of being here as breath, no matter where no matter with whom I am in any given moment.

When and as I see myself believing that ‘I do not know why I always end up wanting to be alone’ – I stop and I breathe – I realize that this is just another hook to keep me bound to an apparent inner conflict of me having some type of ‘problem’ to be with people, to interact and communicate unconditionally, which is in fact a self created character – as all characters – in order to keep me safe within ‘the loner’ character bounds which is in essence then me protecting and fueling my main default character that seeks to be alone at all times. I thus realize that whenever I am wondering or pondering about my ‘beingness’ as in being alone, I am trying to simply instigate an experience to occupy myself up there in the mind instead of being and remaining here as breath.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ask myself ‘what is wrong with me?’ as a self-manipulation tactic in order to not see and realize that I have created this entire ‘loner’ character to always be in a certain ‘beingness’ of either unfulfilled or misunderstood character or apparently being incapable of establishing proper relationships with people, which is absolutely a self-created mechanism to only keep me bound to ‘the loner’ character that will defend its loneliness with even apparent conflict to ‘stop being the loner’ without realizing that all conflict only gives more energy and more attention of who I accepted and allowed myself to be and become as ‘the loner.’

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to go as far as ‘worrying’ that there is something inherently wrong with me because of not being able to be ‘satisfied’ with anything, not even with having the ‘man of my dreams’ or studying that which I apparently dreamed to have, without realizing that I created these points as positive experiences in order for me to create further conflict when not getting the ideal/ future projected happiness/ satisfaction within such relationships and careers, which is another mechanism to protect ‘the loner’ character that would end up always seeking to be alone, dissert relationships, dissert careers and always remaining ‘unsatisfied’ and feeling ‘inadequate,’ which is a primary source and mechanism of self-manipulation in order to instigate conflict within and as ‘the loner’ character, to keep me bound to always seek for a positive experience, instead of actually accepting and bracing myself here as the simplicity of the physical beingness that requires no positive or negative experience to exist.

I realize that I created my own ‘inner conflicts’ and characters according to who I wanted to be and how I wanted to be seen by others, as some type of ‘weird’ person that is not able to create effective relationships, as that would keep me bound to an isolation, depression and self-diminishment that I would come to seek and even  enjoy as a source of apparent ‘inspiration’ to make good art, which is linked to the entire ‘Artist’ personality, of always existing in conflict and depression in order to have something to ‘create’ about, lol an all-around mindfuck that I created for myself around relationships based on only seeking to exist as a continual inner-conflict to remain comfortable within my own mind, creating all these ideas about ‘who I am’ without ever having even considered that who I really am is myself here as the physical, and that I can direct my mind to support myself as such physical being.

 

When and as I see myself thinking, believing, perceiving and worrying that there is ‘something wrong with me’ because of an apparent inability to establish proper relationships, I stop and I breathe – I realize that this has been one of the greatest traps I created for myself and as myself within the belief that I was in fact a ‘difficult person’ and/or would never be able to ‘settle down,’ wherein I realize that I created such ideas based on fearing actually facing myself with another and bursting my ‘loner’ bubble as primary ‘self-defense mechanism.’ Thus I assist myself to realize there is nothing ‘wrong’ with me and that I can communicate, interact and be with another/ others without creating an experience within my mind about it, it is just human beings being here with one another coexisting as the physical wherein the actual direction at all times must be to form and create agreements of self support to ensure that we no longer support one another’s characters/ personalities as self-limitation, but instead, push ourselves to face the ‘who we have become’ as our mind characters and learn how to coexist and live within the consideration of the physical practical reality.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold the backchat in ultimate stances of disillusionment within a relationship/ a moment and thinking ‘What if this is as good as it gets?’ wherein I judge my ability to enjoy myself with another, existing in a continual discomfort of even not breathing properly because of thinking and believing that I must be and behave in a particular way to get to the ultimate positive experience, in order to create a relationship that I can keep as a ‘positive experience’ within me, which is how I see and realize that I had idealized relationships as these merry-go-round opportunities to only ‘enjoy’ myself, but never ever considering a relationship as a point of actual growth and self support, which is how I would create a negative experience whenever something/ someone would be dynamiting the foundation of ‘the loner’ character, as this was in essence a threat to my mind, the ‘who I am’ as my mind as the limitation of myself I have accepted and allowed myself,’ imposing it onto the physical.

Thus, I see that I only sought for positive experiences within my own relationships and characters of self interest, only being like an addict that looks for a quick fix, have a good time/ a high experience in the moment to then go back to the ‘default’ state of seeking to be ‘more’ through relationships, only getting the quick fix for a moment and then going back to the negative of myself as ‘the loner’ that would then be considered as a positive experience, just to keep myself bounding off from one side to the other with no clarity or even understanding what it is that I was in fact doing to myself, which is abusing myself as the physical, using my mind in order to experience myself as a certain positive or negative mood within the belief that ‘feeling’ and ‘becoming emotional’ was in fact Living.

I realize that thinking ‘what if this is as good as it gets’ implies seeking to be experiencing something positive at all times based on the ideals and future projections that I participated in about myself and my future when growing up, wherein I accepted ‘following my dreams’ as something viable and acceptable, thinking that people could actually always remain in this ‘blissful’ state within their relationships and their jobs, which is absolutely not so and this is thus how we end up dissatisfied with ourselves, without even questioning how such positive experience has always been the carrot on the stick, presented as such, to be an ever elusive ideal and only attainable to a handful of human beings in the world system that even then, would seek to get more and have more power, which is essentially greed that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to create the moment that we think we are able to ‘be more’ than who we are already as ourselves, as the physical.

When and as I see myself thinking ‘what if this is as good as it gets?’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am then trying to create a positive experience out of my day to day living breathing here, which is what life is actually about, instead of seeking a positive experience at all cost and ignoring what is it that actually allows such positive experience to exist. Thus, I bring myself back to the physical an walk moment by moment supporting and assisting myself to work, be, do and interact with others within situations/ activities that I realize are actual opportunities and platforms of self-support in order to stop being characters and actually start taking responsibility for the massive consequences we have created when only seeking to be ‘a successful character’ in our reality.

To be continued…

 

Desteni

Desteni Forum

Equal Money System 

 

Recommended Interview that allowed me to understand this pattern of how the mind functions as an energetic leech that seeks for the next great fix which we manifest as our relationships and decisions in our world:

Blogs:

 

Hear the greatest a capella song – Free Download here:


It’s all About the Attitude!

“Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude.”

‘It’s all about the attitude’ Has become quite a well known way to insert ourselves into the world system that is pretty much image driven and how getting the right looks, the right outfit and the right presentation can get you to achieve your goal in a successful manner. I also listened about this in the interview Apathy Control within the series the Soul of Money which explains this mechanism to the T, and also giving awesome perspectives on how to use the system, our skills and abilities to support ourselves/ others within a basic principle: Equality as Life to actually develop ourselves within living purpose where ALL beings can be benefited from our personal living commitment to create a system that ensures life is equally regarded and dignified for all.

However, at the moment in this world, such statements represent the Capital-I, the eye that sees and buys/ sells whatever is fulfilling a positive perspective of oneself reflected on another – or any other idea of self that is sought/ pursued within a positive view perception, all aiming at the highest target on the chart of ‘successful living’ within this world.

 

The quote reminded me of the Sex Pistols and how their success revolved around proposing an image which became the inevitable reference to Punk Rock in the 70’s, and how the image and attitude made the band ‘who they are’ as a famous act in England and the world,  as opposed to being a particularly skillful set of musicians. Their image actually became a successful advertising campaign for a clothing store that “changed its focus from retro couture to S&M-inspired “anti-fashion”, with a billing as “Specialists in rubberwear, glamourwear & stagewear” (from Wikipedia entry on Sex Pistols)

And so a trend was born: being punk – and later on any regular rockstar was ‘all about the attitude’ that would often overshadow the actual skills that such people would actually present as musicians.

What is attitude? It is an image, a presentation, a character that in such case  – and in all cases that represent ‘successful living’ depict strength, power, determination, freedom, enjoyment, certainty, dominion and a lots of glamour – all that which any regular being within the westernized world would deem as traits to aspire owning/ becoming/ living by.

 

I’m pretty sure that you’ve sometime in your life had an ‘idol’ that you can identify as a role model because of the attitude they would present as a character that You would like to be like/ become. It’s like when you ‘fall in love’ with someone and you don’t know anything about them, but you like their presentation, their attitude, their ‘flair’ and in that:  you want to own them/ possess them to become equal and one to such attitude, because: you perceive you lack such attitude/ flair yourself.

What happens with such human predictability? We’ve got a sellable item as something/ any character that YOU will surely buy as an experience that you acquire with money, within this confirming that we are in fact a consumerist driven society seeking for positive-highs through anything that can represent a ‘better idea’ of what being a human being is, something that makes you feel ‘better’ about yourself because we haven’t yet realized how every relationship that we have created with  and toward anything/ anyone in this world, Is stemming from separation, a perceived ‘lack,’ an unfulfilled state of being that has become like a damnation that seeks to be ‘complete,’ ‘fulfilled,’ and satisfied by anything that will level up the perceived positive experience into a constantly up kept status quo of well-being.

We’ve created a picture-driven world wherein characters are valued for the attitude they present.

 

We’ve got a winner

So who benefits from this human weakness to idolize, mimic and even obsess about characters such as what we get on the media about famous people/ celebrities/ rockstars/ rocket scientists/ CEO’s/ sports people and virtually anyone that is ‘above’ your regular Joe? Well, anyone that is well aware of how we tend to follow such weakness on to the grave if necessary – just to get a ‘little piece of heaven,’ and in that buy anything and anyone that will give us the same experience that we perceive such beings experiencing themselves as.

 

Ask yourself: why have we become such addicts to idolizing? Why have we become obsessed with fueling someone’s self-created masquerade of success such as presenting a single ‘attitude’ that will drive the masses crazy?

I was listening to the radio and Elvis Presley came on – a white man that got all the attitude  (and voice) to rock people’s world – literally speaking – while singing covers by Little Richard and Ray Charles. So, what sold was the image that this man had, the entire attitude that broke the paradigms of his time. Obviously and the same point we can transpose to anyone else in the music world for example, wherein they might have the attitude/ looks that sells well, but have to sing someone else’s compositions because they actually haven’t developed the skills to write their own songs.

This is just an example and analogy of what we have become as a whole: a picture driven society.

A symptom of a plastic world is where looks/ attitude sells, regardless of ‘what’s inside’ and in that, we have doomed ourselves to become perversely driven by images, attitudes wherein we know what we want, we know that we like to buy that which will make us feel at least a little bit closer to that which we aspire to become – and all of this is what makes up our current CULTure, where your success is determined by the amount of self-seeking individuals that you can attract by presenting all the attributes that you know the majority ‘lacks,’ but in fact simply haven’t allowed themselves to accept as an equal attribute themselves.

We’ve got a way to go to remove all the limitations that have lead us to ‘pay for’ entertainment and experiences, because we will learn how we can give that to ourselves without fueling an entire machinery of superficial values that have no regard to life in Equality. The entertainment system will have to implode as the real values of Life emerge within each one as the consideration that everything we have ever bought and sold has had a fake value imposed upon.

The one and only value in this world is Life.

Make sure you are Not part of this thinking pattern wherein looks is all that counts and ‘talents’ have become simply morphing into more lucrative ways to sell yourself and get the most of the cake.

 

For Self-Support to step out of any form of mind control:

Desteni 

Desteni Forum

And to support a system wherein all life will be valued as equal and No one will ever be able to/ resort to ‘sell themselves’ only by looks without developing any actual equality in expression:

Equal Money System 

 

 

Enlighten yourself about who you really are:

The Secret Energy-Consuming Machine Revealed: DAY 19

Day 12: Goodbye Self-Deprecation

I share about the (cool/ awesome/ astounding/ flabbergasting) realization that has been brewing these past days and weeks. I had merely opened up the self-image point a few days ago in Day 8: My body is Not an Image and Anu was sharing about this point in a recent interview (Reptilians – The Human Picture – Part 25) about how such image that we hold about ourselves, occupies the entirety of our moment as ‘who we are,’ which is then walking/ “living” as a constant image that implies this is ‘how’ we interact with each other and the world: according to how I have allowed myself to create such image and the plethora of memories as words with experiences that I have kept in order to give myself an identity, a meaning, a value – all in separation of the simplicity of life as who we really are.

 

I’ve been in a process of realizing – as a direct result of being hearing Anu’s mind blowing interviews – how we are keeping ourselves entertained with this diluted energy that we call emotions, feelings and thoughts, which was a point that marked a difference in my experience toward any bit of fixation I had created toward something or someone. I realized to what extent I was diminishing myself and occupying my mind with bullshit. It really was a turning point – and it’s been probably over a month now from that point which was opened up in one of the first interviews of his series; it is absolutely pointless wasting breaths going in cycles around the points that we already know are Not beneficial at all. Becoming this character out of habit is only confirming that we are willing to abuse life in order to keep our masochism ‘alive’ – unacceptable, even more so when we are fully aware of these mechanisms and have heard nothing else but: stop participating in your mind!

 

As I walked and realized this, I said to myself that I must share this with the world, because COME ON! How on Earth can we continue living being preoccupied with each other and fearing being judged and judging ourselves for what we believe is cute or ugly or whatnot! I mean what the fuck? That is and should be left as what it is, as part of our past as the robots we accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become in the name of some mirage of personal glory– we’ve done it Enough times already in our eternal cycles, being busy with the same bullshit over and over and over again. This is the time to Stop it for once and for all.

 

It is Not necessary to continue At All in allowing a single iota of self-judgment that may rear in the back of our head. Now, I realize that this is easily said and that there is an absolute process to walk to actually live it, but by placing the ‘cards straight on the table’ I create a point of reference for myself and others equally reading this, to support themselves to see this as straightforward and as simple as it is. I commit myself to make it known to what extent we are abusing life just to keep our mind-realm of self-abuse alive, the perfect trap that we all accepted as the usual ‘misery’ in life – come on! How can LIFE be miserable? Only our experience as the mind, as an individualized and separated perception that emerged through friction can think that – how can we trust something that is lit up just with the flick of a switch, like a light bulb? It is really as simple as stopping all participation in such pet peeves, because these thoughts can come up as ‘casual’ as anything else, and they are accepted because we have all tacitly agreed that ‘Oh well, this life’s got its ups and downs, and nothing can ever work out well and it’s best to only live your life to the max and die happily with tons of memories in your memory-card’ No way.

 

We cannot possibly – at this stage and having the opportunity to birth ourselves as life in this life – continue existing with such massive self-inflicted limitations.

 

It takes time to get to a point like this, it’s taken us our entire existence for ‘god’ knows how long and we cannot possibly fuck it all up this time because of wanting to remain as and continue preserving our mental masochism that can only ‘run’ if the physical is abused. How many times have we judged/ criticized people that extract natural resources from the Earth indiscriminately? I have, tons of times- did I ever accept myself as an equal abuser? Hell no, I did not even consider it that way – I was more on the side of ‘save the planet’ while being constantly judging myself or generating depressions just to have something to create an experience about in my mind toward the idea of myself.

 

This is how, again, the Desteni material, the current interviews are the best gifts you could ever possibly give to yourself – nothing is as ‘worthy’ as realizing that we can in fact Do This – and I haven’t ever been ‘this certain’ in my life before – or my existence, probably – and by this I don’t mean certain of a particular outcome/result, but certain as self-acceptance, as confidence that I am – slowly but surely being accepting as myself, getting myself Here and hearing the words that I probably have always longed to hear to stop my personal infatuation for once and for all.

 

Stopping participation is then not an experience, I’ve noticed how the less I feed my obsessions, the less they remain, the less I participate in immediate judgments, the easier it is to face myself for ‘what I am’ without adding the layers of judgments to it. Living this way is like a constant filter, the Self Honesty filter, because what remains in the moment is what I see and realize I am able to apply/ use/ implement as Self-Support which means is one and equal no matter from whom or where I take it from – I see and realize that all that will eventually remain is only that which is able to be lived and applied by others as equals. This means that the character/ idea of myself won’t remain, that all memories, pictures, ideas that I have believed myself to be are not real and will not remain as it is Not who I really am. What remains is myself here as the presence and essence of that which I am made of, the substance that exists here without requiring me to have/ load an archive of pictures, experiences and memories to define myself every moment that I can instead simply be and exist here.

 

I’ve slowed myself down not even within a ‘desire’ or ‘wanting to slow down,’ but simply by deliberately becoming  aware of myself, which I have been experiencing for the past weeks as like an alien on my own two feet. I’ve walked in this body for a quarter of century and I can probably say that I am only now beginning to appreciate my body for the first time. I‘ve got a lifetime of constant and silent self-deprecation on my back, through having judged my physical appearance and myself – as ‘everyone else does,’ which is unacceptable from each other, really – I am walking the acceptance that I see is here as myself within the understanding of how much I had blinded – blind-dead – myself from myself-here the obvious point missed. If you are not thinking-yourself, what remains is Living As yourself – by yourself it is to be understood as the physical body that is flesh, bones, the blood flowing that is constantly moving and we had blinded ourselves from even experiencing that constant flow within ourselves – there can be no judgment/experience in that, it jus is and it becomes an obvious abuse the moment that we fly away to feed the old habits.

 

This is also an aspect of the application of taking on ‘one single point’ that I’ve been applying on a daily basis which is: stopping judgments toward people on the streets or around me. This is stopping all the automated ‘profiling’ wherein I immediately scan a person and can ‘imagine’ their life and what they are all about. So, I’ve been aware of how some thoughts are just automatically ‘there’ and how I have to go by without me participating in it in any way. I must extend that now to things and animals that I encounter, not placing any emphasis when seeing cats or dogs, which is then also creating an experience within myself toward them.

 

It’s just like the point that I described in lugubrious romantic. Every single day after I wrote that blog, I’ve seen a dead animal or bird – mostly birds – on the pavement – I’m not joking here: every single day. In those moments I’ve then walked the words that I had scripted, and it wasn’t just ‘once’ that I could stop it, and it’s gone. The point emerging everyday makes it very obvious on how this is about walking as a constant and consistent stopping, a living self forgiveness wherein the subsequent days I had to continue not participating/ engaging into the ‘moment capturer’ personality, as the ingrained aspect of the personality I would charge up within the entire idea of myself while using the Earth’s resources to keep myself in such personal fixations as the ‘usual’  fleeting possessed moments I would get by being ‘ecstatic’ looking at something.

 

It doesn’t really matter how much ‘value’ I had given to this point of being ‘fascinated’ by what I see, it’s about the recognition of the ability to stop, regardless of ‘what it is.’ Anu spoke about pictures and even taking pictures which made me laugh for a moment on my application within that which I had also walked in the afore mentioned blog, yet made it even blunter how I could not deny the fact that we have to simply stop playing re-runs of our personalities every time – it’s an old story, it’s limited, it’s constricted, we know where it begins – because we give it the first go – and we know where it ends, because all highs eventually come to low; yet we have developed a relationship with such definitions that we feared losing such definitions lol, it’s like someone that doesn’t want to go out of jail even if their penitence has ended. Are we that self abusive?

 

Yes, we have been – that’s the stark reality. And this makes it even more clear that we have to absolutely walk this process to let go of all the unnecessary baggage that is only limiting ourselves – how ludicrous, but I’ll stop judging this through amazement on this, it’s simply a realization of how the end of me as the limited idea/belief/perception built and nicely-wrought as this personality that we have all invested our ‘best interest’ in, must go in order for the actual living in Equality to emerge – not as an experience, not as a want, not as a need, not as a desire to ‘be more’ of course – it is the simplest form of acceptance that is able to be embraced here in every breath that I take – it is really that simple to go establishing ourselves here. We determine it= we can live it.  It is absolutely in our hands to do so. We’ve got to turn off the ‘spotlight’ on us in believing that all eyes are always fixating on us, or that we are the ‘main characters’ in this story – that’s just self interest, that’s just the world revolving ‘around me,’ and in that application missing the entire world because of placing something above the rest. Unacceptable.

We are here to stop that forevermore, simply because we have missed the actual living that is as simple as breathing here – no more mindfucks.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to waste my breaths here by having spent time accumulating memories, pictures, experiences as ‘who I am,’ and believing that this would be what gives me ‘identity’ and ‘value’ as a person, which is how I invested upon such experiences as energetic personalities that I carefully wrought and quilted as ‘who I am,’ according to the desires, wants and needs that I wanted to fulfill in my world, whatever ‘road’ they would imply, it was still following and desiring that which would apparently ‘make me feel happy,’ which is then how

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to live as this ‘me’ that has existed as only a few purposes in life that were aiming to fulfill and ‘achieve’ the ultimate happiness, which became the only way that I could see this life could make ‘any sense,’ which is why I accepted and allowed this world ‘as is’ within the belief, perception that there could be ‘something more’ for us in store after we die, after we have gone through our living peripeteia and eventually ‘win’ something that could mean an eternal satisfaction, which can only be created because of the inherent acceptance and allowance of existing As separation from self as one and equal.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to live within such a mind-possession for such a long time, and for all the past lives that I have spent fixated on myself, my image, my personality, my wants, my needs, my desires that were only ‘there’ to keep me occupied and that I accepted as a form of ‘living’ while missing the actual living in every single moment that I would rather create myself an experience through emotions and feelings to pretend that ‘I’m alive,’ other than simply living in self-acceptance here, as breath, as myself.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to live in such a perpetual self-abuse through constantly judging myself and existing only as this judgment that I would project onto others, compare myself-with and define myself-as, while actually judging people that would deplete/ abuse the natural resources on Earth for the sake of keeping our entire system in place – which implies that I always sought to be ‘free from blame,’ and believe myself to be innocent from such “atrocities”simply because of denying the basic point which is me existing in/as this world, equal and one with everyone else that is equally responsible for such abuse simply because of ALL having accepted and allowed the submission, abuse and degradation of life through a system of energy that must always consume to remain alive. This is our current system and

I commit myself to walk the necessary self-alignments to live the equal-value that I see and realize is the common sensical way of living that must be implemented on Earth through the Equal Money System as the solution to allow us all to see/ realize that the only way to live an actual satisfactory life on Earth, is through giving and receiving in equality.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from ‘the abusers,’ simply because I thought myself to be a ‘world saver’ without ever being aware of how within me and my ‘personal life’ being a bundle of emotions and feelings and judgments, I was being equally supporting the degradation/ abuse and total annihilation of life because of disregarding the fact that, for my mind to exist as an experience, I must use what Is here as this physical reality that I consume in order to transform such physical energy into mind energy to keep my mindfucks alive. By mindfucks I understand, all the experiences that would give me a certain experience that I would deem as ‘my life,’ ‘my living,’ regardless of them being positive or negative, I seemed to equally solace with both, as long as I was ‘experiencing’ something, which demon.strates the level of addiction we’ve lived toward our own mind.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I had only lived as an egotistical character that could only generate experiences, thoughts for self-satisfaction in either a ‘positive’ or ‘negative’ and now realizing even neutral experience As a constant experience, as a constant self-created confirmation of ‘I am here as y mind,’ while abusing my body as the life that it is made of to do so.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become so oblivious to the reality that is here, taking it for granted simply because of regarding ‘my experience’ as something ‘more important’ to be aware of/ take care of other than the actual reality that is here, that is existing as the ‘food for thought’ in a literal manner, abused and neglected and depreciated to only being ‘fuel,’ instead of realizing it is equal and one as myself, as life, as everything that is equally here.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fuel the abuse of life through my very own participation in thoughts, feelings, emotions that would keep the ‘idea’ of me in place. Now this is not to believe that I can now ‘stop thinking’ and ‘stop abusing,’ it is about understanding the separated-value (value in itself is already a separation, but just to make it clear) that I have placed onto everything/ everyone in separation of myself – which means, that Equalizing myself as such ‘values’ which is the absolute integration of myself as everything that is here – I can simply become the director of it to establish myself as relationships that work for all as equal and one – no abuse will be allowed in that, yet it is possible to change the starting point of everything that is here through me committing myself to be the one point that begins to do so.

 

That is then, taking the first steps of self-awareness as a creator: who am I willing to be and become now that I see, realize and understand what and who I really am. It is plain simple to see that: if friction has only caused this extent of abuse and obvious separation, causing me to always ‘seek for fulfillment’ outside of myself – the obvious solution is then: reintegrating all separated parts as myself here wherein I commit myself to walk each thread that I have separated myself from, point by point, moment by moment, until standing equal and one with what is here is not only a statement, but a living realization that is able to be implemented every moment that I stop the inherently accepted separation of myself as an energetic experience through thinking, believing and perceiving myself to be ‘marlen’ only – the idea of myself that exists as the product of limitation.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to deliberately create experiences within myself toward my physical body, toward my image, my personality in means of believing that ‘this is who I am and this is what I have to cultivate’ – wherein this statement became a lifetime investment of self-interest while being aware of how everything that I wanted, desired could be obtained by playing the game that is predictable and mechanic. I realize that this is not ‘good or bad,’ it is simply the starting point that I can now change/ adjust and within that, not demonize my mind, my experiences – it is about now standing equal to who and what I am as this physical body, as the direction that I am asserting as myself and being willing to change the starting point of these relationships that I created in separation of myself – as desires, wants and personal needs – into a best for all starting point, which is then the only way we can ensure that we do achieve a best for all goal.

 

See one of the pivotal points here is something that Anu describes in the interview Reptilians – Engineering God – Part 26 about what is it that we are really doing/walking/ realizing within this process wherein, it’s not about now becoming ‘empty’ and walking as zombies – but simply how to be able to stop existing as possessed mind-zombies and actually realize, recognize and accept the actual power that exist when we equalize ourselves as our mind, as everything that we have believed ourselves to be and instead, learn how the mind works and use it, as an equal-and one part of myself to create what’s best for all.

And that, was a mindblowing point that I can assure will come eventually or has come already to a realization within our process. To place this all into perspective: I’ve been ‘digesting’ all that I’ve been listening and it’s simply amazing, but not the experiential amazing that ‘makes me feel good’ but an actual realization of what the fuck we have missed throughout life: ourselves.

We are in ‘the moment’ where we can stand as absolute creators of ourselves – and this is not some type of ‘grandiose’ statement – in fact, I should not even place such disclaimer as it is only the absolute, totality, wholeness that exists here as myself – any point of ‘grandiosity’ has only been generated by my mind that feared being or even considering myself as ‘the whole,’ why would that be? Only a a mind can exist in self-deprecation and self-depreciation, and this, my fellow droogs, must stop.

: D

 

Blogs of the Day:

vlog:
2012: 7 Year Process – Stopping Judgements


Perfectionism is an Inside Job!

Per-fact working with what is here to be created/ directed within the principle of what’s best for all – Working in specificity, living in ways that are taking into consideration an outcome that will benefit myself and all equally – there are no inner-guidelines according to my own value schemes based on comparison or fears within that. This is how we can transform our current participation in ‘perfectionism’ to self perfection.

Perfectionism – system word and the familiar imprint.

I read the word perfectionism and remembered the usual talks my parents would have with their friends around the table and how my father would boast about his peculiar traits of being methodic and a perfectionist. He’s cool from the system perspective and I’ve learned heaps from such specificity and efficiency within taking into consideration aspects that make our day to day living more practical – yet a lot is definitely based on fear and an underlying desire for control. Now that I look at the word I see that looking at the ‘driving force’ of this experience is having everything working the way ‘he wants it to be’ and this aspect can consume him the moment things don’t go as expected.

That’s when anger would ignite within him right away – it was a ‘known’ fact that if something didn’t work out the way it was expected, we would have to deal with his bad temper. It’s been cool actually because this past year  I’ve gotten to be more open in talking about how to support ourselves with my parents/ family in general, so I’ve been able to point out in the exact moment when he’s going into anger and frustration for things not resulting the way he wanted them. This has been supportive for him to snap out of it and realize that all the fuzz is absolutely unnecessary and that things have to simply be physically directed without adding any other ‘charge’ to it.

The reason why I’m writing about my father is because I require to apply the exact same points for myself.  I can see myself in him in terms of how we have lived ‘perfectionism’ as literal cage wherein we want everything to be ‘under control,’ wherein we don’t want to make any mistakes which is essentially out of fear, fear of not keeping up with this ideal that we’ve created of ourselves, our ‘reputation.’ I now remembered asking my father in one of these events ‘well, what is it that worries you the most if this doesn’t work out?’ and he replied something along the lines of ‘what everyone will say about it.’ And then he goes into his petulant mode wherein he’s just like a little kid that has been caught in the nitty gritty of what is actually ‘mattering’ within our mind, it’s actually funny because there is no place to hide once we reveal and expose ourselves. 

So, it is about fearing others’ judgments, fearing not being ‘up to the expectations’ which is just an overall fuckup since we then will try and make everything fit our imaginary idea – not a pleonasm but a required redundancy to realize how we cannot become an ‘idea’ that is only existent in our mind unless we actually live it in fact. When living in comparison and caring too much about our general ‘presentation’ toward others, we start hindering our expression and placing a lock to our expression to not get out of the ‘known-safe bounds’ and in that, giving up the ability to express, share, being, speak and act because of caring too much about what others have to say about it.

 

How I have experienced perfectionism.

It started when I was a little girl – kindergarten to be precise and I wanted to be the perfect girl that did everything I was told to do. The moment I deviated from it like grabbing a pair of scissors and cutting some boy’s hair, getting scolded and resenting such action coming from the ‘teacher,’ I got ‘stuck’ within the point of never wanting to create such ‘harm’ on to another, the kid started crying after it all seemed like ‘fun’ to me.  That’s the first imprint of ‘being mean’ at school and being reprehended for it. From there fear kicked in and made sure I was doing everything I was told to do out of fear of having to go through that ‘humiliating experience.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having experienced humiliation out of being scolded without anyone taking into consideration the inner-workings and intentions behind the actions – in this

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to move from self-expression into fear because of not wanting to be ‘scolded’ again ‘in public’ and experiencing such humiliation which I didn’t know existed at the time, creating a general imprint of ‘fear’ which then became the driving force to ‘do as I’m told’ and be an obedient sheep in class.

In fact, from that moment on any ‘fuck up’ that I made during the elementary school years – like being kicked out of the class for talking too much which only happened once – I felt like the scum of the Earth, I feared to be expelled from the honorable wall of fame at school – losing the grace all teachers and others had – the ‘reputation’ point became quite prominent when being the ‘perfect system’ that does ‘everything perfect.’ In fact now that I see the latest points wherein that word has come up in my reality, I get this icky feeling like fuck that’s just not cool, it’s all ego based – how could ‘accomplishing tasks’ be related to ‘being perfect?’ It all was part of getting to know how to score in the system of rewards – nothing else.

I can only accept Self Perfection as myself and in that, we all have to stand equal and one to it – that would be principles and self-will to be efficient, practical, specific in terms of what will create an outcome that’s best for all. I speak of ‘creation’ because that’s what we are doing here with ourselves and the world. Therefore, now that we understand that all points within creation must be equally responsible, we can see how within being self responsible, correcting ourselves and accumulating words and deeds that co-operate to create a best for all outcome is walking the process of Self Perfection. This then cannot be a mind/ ego-driven move, but a best-for-all consideration that anyone can apply in an equal manner.

The reason why we have become so hooked on ‘perfectionism’ is due to the current system wherein one has to be absolutely ‘fit’ and aligned to its rules to keep going – this is just another survival-mechanism point because the main motive is fear once again. Whether it is fear of judgment, of not having money, fear of loss, etc. we have to take such fears to see where we have placed our value/worth upon.

Walking in this process has allowed me learn how to work as a team for the first time as I used to ‘loathe’ to work in teams, because it would usually mean having other 4 people wanting to be in my team because they knew and I knew I would do it all – yes I would create such a situation for myself and accept to do it all most of the times just so that I could make sure it was done ‘the right way.’ Once again we see that the motivation was fearing it would be a fuckup and believing that ‘my way’ is the ‘best way.’ I have stunned myself whenever I see how cool it is to brainstorm about points to the extent that I can see how funneling everything within the principle of equality can create an actual diversity of perspectives that lead to the same point – yet using different ways and expressions to get there, that’s the cool part.

It’s probably been over a  decade since I started letting go much of the initial hardcore perfectionism I experienced as a child – I mean, when I was around 8 years old if things didn’t go out the way I wanted, I would become frustrated and angry and bottle myself in it only getting to see some ‘light out of the tunnel’ with some support that I would get from my mother at that time, allowing me to see how I was simply able to do the things without having to be so strict and ‘hard on myself.’ I see how I would take such comments like ‘quick fixes’ that she could say in order for me to have like a spoon fed of honey to get past the bitterness, I would not really consider what she was saying. It did support to snap out of it and learn to be more flexible with my own religion. Like if I would say: I go to bed at 9:15 I had to be in bed at that time, no matter where I was I would have to be in bed because otherwise I was breaking my own rules and that was equal to what missing Sunday’s mass is for a hardcore christian.

I created for myself an overly-apprehensive childhood, no one was putting a gun to my head to have set such standards of ‘being the best’ all the time, it was like literal preprogramming running itself wherein my parents never had to bother in asking if I had done my homework or doing exhaustive reviews on my homework. My mother would support me with tools to learn useless data and create questionnaires to enhance the understanding of what I was learning –  that was it.   The drive that I would experience in an almost automated way to ‘be the best one in the class’ was driven by fear of losing my reputation and image toward others.

After these initial years at school I learned ‘the ways of the system’ wherein I simply got to know the ‘rules’ and started manipulating the points to get the desired outcome, extenuating the effort as well.  This is Not Self Perfection at all! Yet from a system perspective it was regarded as such – it was me becoming part of the ones that are able to manipulate things to suit my reputation/ ego. It actually sucks when people build a certain ‘idea of yourself’ and then create all types of expectations of ‘who you are’ and when finally getting to meet you, they eventually see you are just another mortal that is not self perfected – yet.

 

I can also now pinpoint the times in the past wherein I would create this ‘lower standard’ of something I had created even though it was ‘well done’ just to create a ‘safe zone,’ like a margin of error wherein if people thought it wasn’t ‘good enough,’ they would have my initial input of the work ‘not being good enough’ so that they could then measure the end result according to their judgment and my input and create an ‘acceptable average’ from it all. All fucked up complicated value systems – the mind complicates everything and it’s all done just for the sake of keeping up an imaginary standard that apparently can uplift of diminish who we are – it’s not real!

 

From Perfectionism to Self Perfection – the process.

The way to go every time from here on that I experience any perfection-demon kick I  stop for a moment and become aware of what is the driving force within this – what is it that I am actually supporting here and if common sense is not able to be found, we’ll know it’s being an ego-driven task directed to fulfill a certain patterned-idea of myself that is not self-supportive, that will not be applicable for all equally and will only stand as a general bluff within my experience.

Self-perfection is taking all into consideration to the best outcome possible – perfectionism is just ego-driven desires and fears which are the same but just in opposition to each other. It implies then stopping the desire to be ‘the best’ or beating my own standards and self-created ‘records’ to simply continue living in a way that is supportive for myself and everyone equally. That way we let go of measuring ourselves against ourselves and others and feeling ‘good’ or ‘bad’ about it.

“Perfectionism is based in fear – self perfection is based in self creation” – Bernard Poolman

And with that we can see how we’re all walking the process of self creation wherein self perfection is the accumulation of consistent self-application directed toward a best for all outcome.

 

Learn more at: Desteni 

Alterna1


Reality TV is NOT Made in Hollywood

We’ve been watching some documentaries that reveal the current conditions that we are living in as part of this world, yet not aware of it due to our confinement in the places where ‘everything is fine’ which are the cities and places that obtain all the benefits from the products and resources that are only ‘sold’ and ‘ready to be consumed’ in the exchange of some coins and bills, which certainly leaves behind a ghostly and quickly evaporated trail of HOW such products and resources are able to appear nicely packaged in the shelves of our local Wal-Mart – which btw has now gotten to India now, asserting their current status and power as one of the most successful slave-job industries hitting jackpot around the world with selling slavery-made cheap disposable products made in china, paying slave wages to workers and earning the most comfortable profit that comes from distribution  due to its international expansion with almost imperialistic tactics, smelling the trail of juicy amounts of money unwinding in ‘expanding economies,’ which is just a fancy name to name-the-game of becoming a great player in the capitalist game of abuse and exploitation to make the most for your pocket.

More often than not we are trapped in our own bubbles of individualized perception wherein I as the mind is the only thing that exist as if the sun revolved around us. We are entertained in our own thinking processes, walking our own Hollywood movie while missing the reality of this world, which we certainly now have the option and ability to watch if we are able to have internet and a pair of eyes and ears and enough self will and self direction to hear and see in an active mode, which would imply the realization that: this is our creation and we must take self responsibility for it. No more passive consumption of information.

 

I’ve shared before how it is through these documentaries shared by people at Desteni for some years now that I’ve become more aware of  what is happening in the world I live in.  I’ve opened my eyes to a reality that existed beyond my personal delusion of ‘wanting to escape this world’ without even being aware of the actual atrocious reality that others are merely surviving through every day. And this is not to ‘know the reality that others face’ for the sake of ‘feeling fortunate about my position,’ which is how I was usually told by my mother or family members to then ‘be grateful for.’ That’s also a load of crap as we are here to realize what is currently being experienced by fellow human beings – that are also you and me – for the sake of realizing what it takes to have our nicely packaged products and services at the flick of our wrist that holds money to buy it. Buying in itself is then the single act of agreeing upon the abuse that the creation/ production/ manufacture or service provision entails as all the lives – not only human – that are affected through its process from being something that is only ‘here’ as part of Earth into becoming an entire product that can be bought and sold = made profit from while raping the Earth in absolute disregard of all life.

The very fact that we use money is entailing our absolute acceptance of slavery by the single fact that we play a blind eye to not see or – in most cases – even be interested of getting informed, becoming aware of how things are created; how animals that we eat are being slaughtered and kept in hideous conditions, how the clothes that we wear, the iPod that we carry around, the computers that we sit in front of and virtually everything that’s currently sold is made and will entail at least one single abusive commercial relationship – yes that means money related. I can assure you, most of the stuff we consume if not ALL of it is the product of slavery, of low barely-to-live wages and often deplorable conditions doing jobs that we would probably not even imagined existed, yet existed as part of the forces that create the products that we consume, products that we’d like to rather  believe that come from a nicely antiseptic and clinical environment as some scientist’s laboratory.

 

I read Cameron’s blog “The Sulfur Ghosts of Indonesia” which was a very cool self-reflection on his experience and general realization on what’s portrayed in this greatly made video that shows the reality lived in this same world while we might be caged in our little boxes where everything is seemingly just alright.  This documentary shows the reality of what other human beings have to go through every single day to ‘make a living’ Once again, all of this existent because of money, because of living in a world wherein the countries with the most resources are exploited by those that have the capital to manufacture and produce goods/ services with what is obtained/ extracted through slave labors which means the abusive treat of workers with a  minimum cost for the extraction of resources to make the greatest profit once it hits a store near you. These men are filmed while they have their regular menial jobs going down the pit of an active volcano to get sulfur, carrying up to 70 kilos and drinking alcohol as a fake source of bravery to go through this each day, amongst many other experiences in between that I’m sure we cannot even begin to comprehend through this.

The particular situation of this documentary – and similar to the cocaleros situation in Bolivia “Risking it all” also produced by Al Jazeera – reveals the day to day actual hard work that is endured by people to make the least to live while dreaming of someday being able to leave such places in means of a better life. It is literally heartbreaking how while this is happening somewhere in the world there is an entire schizophrenic egotron alternate reality lived in other places in the world where self-pleasure, entertainment, greed and the most unbelievable hedonist treats are created out of and with the money that is made from the exploitation that is inflicted upon these people. And somehow we even dare to say that what happens somewhere else in the world has no direct correlation to our lives. That’s just unacceptable upon the face of the blatant evidence of this around the world.

I agree with what Cameron began saying which is how I am here being cozy in my room watching this and in moments even getting lost in the aesthetics of the entire film and the picture details which I certainly had to snap out in a moment to see my own programming, seeing everything as a nice picture or ‘quality made material’ and for a moment forgetting about this being The Real World and getting in the ‘mood’ of it being a movie. Fuck “reality TV,” that’s just another sickening move by the media to make believe that ‘reality’ is all about personal conflicts, relationships and all types of human drama lived in stages places where ostentation and the stupidity of man become the protagonist. No, that’s NOT Reality TV at all. That’s just a cool business for those that seek to sip the most out of you.

Bastian made a cool comment upon this activity of documentary watching which is how this is what should be broadcasted 24/7 on our TV Screens. I mean, the most I get at times is reports from ‘human trafficking on CNN’ and related matters;  the rest of the fucked up hundreds of channels are specifically designed to make believe that ‘reality’ is able to be categorized according to personal preferences with regards to what our “lifestyle” is all about: sports, cooking, sitcoms, movies, music, news, audio channels and repeat. Oh and have your remote control with little lights in case you fail to see the three digit code for each one of them.

 

I was saying how I got lost in a moment for seeing the picture and its quality and beauty, revealing that I was no different to the tourists that take photos of such places, smiling while slaves are passing by – and we even dare to see ‘them’ as part of the entire novelty that such places may represent for someone that comes to ‘pay a visit’ to the place for a couple of hours and then leaving off with a nice souvenir, while people literally leave their thousands of breaths in those places, doing the same every single day while pondering about ‘the west’ or the ‘north’ where all of that which is slaved is taken to make some other fellow human beings rejoice by seeing what the mighty bills at hand can obtain in one single moment, completely oblivious to this other side of the coin.

 

Watching documentaries sometimes leaves me with an intrinsic desire to end all of this nonsense in one go, like wanting to desperately give an end to this nightmare for other human beings . Though it’s clear how that only reveals the point of not wanting to face ourselves as the entire network of self-enslavement and limitation that we are existing within ourselves as our mind and as the world system where we are the actual evil that have pacted upon our enslavement to this make believe system called Money, which stands as the almighty god that everyone is currently subdued to.

 

What may seem like our everyday ‘living’ and part of ‘who we are’ can be someone else’s pipe dream somewhere else in the world.

We are probably too fixed with the idea of suffering and despicable human situations linked to starving people by default of which we only get to see in ubiquitous pictures and films, often seeing them in a passive mode  that has lost its ability to ‘shock’ and has become part of the popular imagery – yes how fucked up is that. Yet, watching people in their current slave jobs, watching animals in situ where their worst nightmares are perpetuated, watching “criminals”/people in jail, telling their stories broadcasted for anyone to hear is something that literally allows us to place things into perspective every time that we dare to, for a moment only though, step into someone else’s reality, a fellow living being reality in this same world –from insects, to the trail of water, to people’s lives in certain countries and religions, from slave jobs in highly risky conditions to children sniffing glue in the subways of Rumania – from getting a spiffy bird’s eye view of the world with gloomy data on our world’s depletion of resources to the understanding how the water that we buy in bottles is only a thousand-time profit making for the companies that sell you your tap water; from the massive and hideous killings of dolphins in Japan to the viewing of hundreds of tons of wasted food being dumped around the world, while holding that initial image of people starving as the ultimate depiction of human suffering.

 

I’m glad that I’ve been linked to watching them all which is yet another awesome thing about walking as a group where we share what we are watching so that we can create a collective awareness of other beings’ lives on the same planet and how it becomes another reason of why we are one ‘vote for world equality’ so that we can finally give an end to this daily torture that human beings that are you and me as well are going through.

What I just remembered from the great impact I had when watching these type of documentaries almost 4 years ago is how I would go into a mental experience of ‘feeling sad’ or ‘feeling bad’ and indirectly guilty about it which only lead me to enhance yet another personality and victimization point where no self-responsibility was realized.

Now it’s a matter of seeing the reality as it exists and stopping any form of reaction wherein I see and realize that this is our creation and we can only use this information for the sake of creating a solution that will make sure that their lives will no longer be bound to money, to make sure that we get educated to get to know about these atrocities and how we as humans are directly creating it all. Is suggest you read Cameron’s blog to see what sulfur is used for and we’ll understand how the requirement of it is a byproduct of the current capitalist system that we’ve accepted and allowed as ‘our world’ where some are meant to be fucked-for-life while others are meant to live as kings of the hill where coins and paper bills pay away the most basic needs that people living in slave conditions buy to barely survive, basic needs that should be grated for all human beings by mere virtue of being alive.

As far as myself, I got to see yet once again the bubble and literal containments that we live in. When I say bubble and this make-believe world as the cities that we live in, the image of this dream-like structures created by Jacque Fresco for The Venus Project come to my mind. How would such ‘cities’ be able to stop the suffering of people that are used to living in such rich natural environments and that could actually live a very basic lifestyle while enjoying themselves – which is how I personally see that life should be – and instead have people in this ultra automated structures where hedonism becomes the ultimate ‘goal’. This might seem ‘off topic’ yet it is used or seen as one of the plausible options to create a ‘better world’.

 

Seeing the reality of people in say non-western type of societies allow us to see how we have set a ‘standard living’ based on the same propaganda that we’ve been fed with throughout our entire lives. And it’s not like we should now feel ‘guilty’ for this as we literally didn’t know anything better, we weren’t aware of this at all. This is how in news channels when they shift the news from violent repressive acts to talk about the queen’s new royal drapes for her palace or this or that pollutitian’s new ‘reality show,’ or shootings in a war zone, protests occupying the streets… that’s all part of the entire showbiz of this reality, as it produces the expected reactions within people that will shape their opinions to then have a ‘say’ about this world based on how the information has been deliberately structured and conducted through media.

This is why we don’t get to see these documentaries amongst other interesting and constructive information that expose the media itself, the corporations that are making the most of us buying into the traps that will vindicate their actions as some form of development, progress, defense of a nation, preventive measures to shut down potential enemies, exposing half-assed truths where the remaining half is then left aside to only create the effect of being informed and omitting speaking about any form of potential solutions, as it would also debunk their entire business while creating a certain profile of being an informative-caring network.  If there was no juicy profit making for CNN, would they still care about slave labor? How come any news or any media hasn’t ever openly shared space or proposed for an entire reform to the system – not even your alternative media gets to such point yet.

This can only confirm that the actual solution is still not seen or is still dumbed down as ‘impossible’ or as a ‘pipe dream’ without realizing that such ideology and criticism is only stemming from the same media that has taught us about the good and the bad guys in this world, failing to promote self responsibility obviously or supporting a critical eye view based on facts and not made-up sentences. That’s something that is often – may I say – deliberately side viewed as not many would like to continue watching the reality that is created from our very actions of buying and consuming what is here through money and if that happened, their audience would be reduced substantially which is not good for the pocket’s health.

 

At Desteni we are becoming the new culture of life, the new way of living as a human being that directs himself/ herself to become informed through articles, news, documentaries and writes upon sharing what’s realized in common sense. This is a deliberate self willed action that is done while others are partying, ‘drunking’ and  seeking for the next quick fix to keep existing in a fuel-generated bubble that will eventually have to burst.

 

The culture of life entails that we stand within a principle that’s best for all, that we are walking as ourselves wherein the process of expansion and self realization in self honesty is certainly not nice or beautiful, as it is realizing the entire fuckup we’ve created of this world as ourselves and in that, seeing that the solution won’t come from our preprogrammed chauvinistic authorities that seek to prolong their power and influence over people, it won’t be an easy one-two-three playskool scenario either, it must  be created and directed by people like you and me that are seeing the reality for what it is without compromising ourselves through money for it; it’s about realizing and daring to continuously face the reality that we’ve neglected all along while ‘living our lives’ through the tell-a-vision, through the nicely framed reality we live in. It places our entire ‘real world into perspective with a great kick in the ass when we see how any ideal of magnificence can only entail an entire army of slaves to be able to build it. And that’s what we are still pursuing as humanity, that’s what we’ve become: the oppressors of fellow living beings that disregard life and exploit it all in the name of money.

Hence, we are the ones that must stop existing in our little bubbles of self-created movies wherein we are constantly seeking an experience, a ‘something going on’, a point of limitation to hang on to, where wanting/ needing/ desiring becomes the constant in the humans equation of what ‘life’ is.  What is Life really? Certainly not known or even explored in actuality by a majority in this world. We are all neophytes within the realm of actually living as all we’ve known is this current staged living condition governed by Money as the ‘own-me’ that we have accepted as value upon us. We are only now  walking the process of getting to finally live through understanding our creation, through taking self responsibility, through stopping all cycles that have enslaved each other as the current structure of the system through deliberately acting and willing ourselves to live  in ways that we become the solution that this world requires.

We cannot expect things to be done in ‘automatic’ as we know what ‘automatic’ leads to and we only have to look at this world to see what our disregard for all things and all people in this world as proof of the ultimate irresponsibility conducted by the human in its attempt to make illusory mind superiority into a reality which is proving to be unsustainable and only becoming a crime against life that must be stopped for once and for all.

Equal Money System so that we don’t blow this entire world up.

Dare to care, inform yourself, get yourself out of the limited mind frame of reality that more often than not is limited to viewing reality through a screen. So why not using such resources at hand for a supportive activity that can actually allow us to expand our current perception of the world to expand our horizons about what needs to be done here in order to dignify people’s lives.

I do recommend doing this as it focuses ourselves on the solutions that must be created which then places all seemingly distractive self experience into perspective where we can only vow ourselves to support us to see it for what it is, walk through it and direct our efforts to understand the ‘greater picture’ where not only ‘I’ as the mind exist but we as all living beings that are sharing this one single planet that we must stop from ceasing to exist.

 

http://www.equalmoney.org

 

TO NOT blow theworld with Equal Money


The souldiers

The dear souls/ the souldiers are the people that write this type of deranged conclusions to justify the world we live in. This is merely a single outflow of the entire belief system called ‘god’ as some ‘kind’ of  mastermind that apparently had perfect and transcendental reasons to create such disparaged conditions that we were – apparently – able to choose from to live as in this world 

“One can never really know the reason why an individual soul chooses the path it has decided to take before it comes into a being called human. Only the soul truly knows why it wants to create, experience, and be the thing we call poor or rich.”

 

According to this, we then must accept and surrender to a world founded upon misery created by misers that exist in such either natural-born conditions like  fucked-up-till-the-bottom-of-hell or blissful-as-the-gardens-of-eden defined by nothing else but the system that would have specific structures and placements for both poles to exist within hierarchical positions as ‘our society’ wherein we learn that some have to be below and above and the rest of the bunch in limbo while everyone was in either way defined and determined by Money/ wealth or any other means of power over another.

What could be the reason for someone to ‘choose being poor’ – I mean, isn’t that a rather masochistic way to gain pride an honor as a human being? Isn’t that accepting punishment as the way to learn a bright moral lesson? Why was god/creator such a fucker that created such choices to be even possible to begin with.

The soul/ system/ god “truly knows” statement is placing ‘someone out there’ as the all powerful being that is able to exist in such a self-righteous way that ‘they only know’ because ‘he/she/it/they’ might be supreme and know-better than the rest of the flimsy creations that may move/ do and say at will. I mean, wow, what a powerful lesson, God! Exert your righteousness over creation, let them know ‘who’s the boss’ and justify such an assholing move with imprinting shit like the quote above, justifying the means to get to an ‘end’ – if there was any point in it by the way other than blatant energy to create your blissful heaven used also as a nice bait to keep everyone running towards it, existing as energy churning machines with petty human existential conflicts that’d keep this entire system running.

 

Coming into this world and having a set of equally fucked options to incarnate not remembering that it was the same life over and over again, was part of our existence – we can’t remember, we now know about it through the Desteni material and it makes perfect sense that we all gave into such type of nice picture presentation of coming to Earth and getting the ultimate physical experience. From this, conclusions like ‘there must be a higher reason for it’ are common consolation prizes because ‘at least’ we could keep some form of respect to an all knowing god/system/soul construct that ‘knew what’s best for us’ – right… that’s obviously not so and it’s simply blatant mind control to believe that one must suffer and be a masochist to learn any lesson in this world.


Till this day, through the Equal Money material that we’ve placed out there, we still get comments from many people justifying the existence of rich and poor people through this obviously fucked belief system. Many still believe that ‘to make a living you’ve got to strive and suffer’. If we are the image and likeness, the obvious necessary question then is: was god an actual masochist? was the creator/ designer a real lunatic that created his own Hollywood show by creating a system based on polarity? the answer is and must be self evident now.

I mean come on! We really had to be that blind to not see that this entire world functions like a battery with two poles that can only power itself if there is enough friction as attraction/repulsion and any other conflict that makes energy move. That’s what we are, that’s what we’ve accepted and allowed ourselves to be and exist as and justify it with words that may seem ‘above our understanding’ while justifying some of the most horrid conditions existent on this planet such as starvation and living in extreme poverty with no opportunities to actually live in this world.

Hence, any point of justifying our own fuckedupness as ‘who I am’ and giving into thoughts that it can’t apparently be stopped is us giving into the same system that has accepted and allowed poverty and wealth to exist, the abuser and abused, the master and the slave– we are it, we exist as that, we have the ability to become either/or yet we can decide it’s Non because either side leads to the creation of the other side inevitably.

Stopping our preprogrammed existence, stopping following the ‘cycles of our soul’ and justifying any atrocity with bs like ‘lessons of the soul’ is what’s required to do.

We must expose ourselves for what we’ve accepted and allowed ourselves to become in this world wherein there’s extensive mind-droning processes blinding everyone with bright lights. This is nonsense. All of it and must be stopped.

Only when existing here as breath as the physical body that I am here do I stop my participation in anything that has to do with and supports the existence of this nonsensical preprogrammed crap, such as paying karma for past lives or having a good life because ‘I deserved so’. Visit  http://www.desteni.co.za to learn everything about the soul and the white light scam – time to get real, people.

God won't save the queen now


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