How many times have talked to ourselves in a very nice and enticing way to do something instead of another? How have we accepted and allowed ourselves to make it ‘okay’ to talk to ourselves in the first place – and this is where the realization that the voices in our head/ how we talk ourselves into a point is something that MUST be walked within our process of getting to know who we are as the mind. Why? Because a single thought is the activation of an integration that we had throughout our lives as a particular way we have assessed reality according to the mind instead of assessing reality in physical terms.
Within having this writing/document to be written, a physical way of approaching this in the most simple and suitable manner is: I have to do this writing, I simply take my computer, do the necessary readings/ research in it and write the document out. However, what have I accepted and allowed within me to accumulate layer after layer of procrastination to not just do it? Several enticing words, sentences or entire inner-conversations/ backchat in order to look at this physical task in a way that is MORE than myself in the moment – things like
I require more time to do this, not now
I rather get to this later on in the day, when there is no noise around me
I would like to get it done, but first I go out for a walk
I would want to get that book First before I even intend writing
It’s going to take me too long today, rather do it tomorrow /DIT syndrome
Now these are only a few examples here, within investigating throughout the various dimensions within this character, I’ve seen how there are many points that factor into this particular point of not doing it which is related to confronting the written document with others, having to re-write it several times, wanting to place it ALL within one single document, my backchat about the career itself, etc. So, the points above are only a fraction and more like an immediate example of the points that indicate a direct postponement of the writing itself; however I have seen myself always going into the imagination and future projection aspects that lead to pushing the point even further into the future in order to ‘instead do this’ / do that – which is an aspect I had discussed as well, how I tend to make it as if I am being a ‘better person’ because of taking other tasks to complete or because I am rather taking responsibility for OTHER points instead of the main one that is here to be done.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to talk to myself within my mind in order to place a ‘better thing to do’ instead of actually giving direction to my task at hand, which is how I have disregarded the physical reality and responsibility in order to place a more ‘suitable’ point in front of me in my mind that I then direct myself to do, as an ‘acceptable way’ of postponing/ leaving for later the task that I was about to do, which indicates how I have been listening to/ following the voices in my head in order to Not immediately do things, but instead allow myself to go into self-interest mode, search for something that I would ‘rather do’ and within this, create a seemingly ‘fine’ moment in my day because ‘I am doing something’ and ‘I am taking care of other responsibilities’ but the one that I was in the moment ‘going to do’ but literally talked myself out of it.
When and as I see myself talking myself out of doing a task, I stop and I breathe. I realize that talking myself to not do things is the same as thinking positive in hopes of something ‘great’ happening and me not having to do it at all, which is similar to praying and hoping something else will come along so that I don’t have to do this, which is self-talk in self-interest to only do what ‘I like doing’ and leave aside all that which I don’t really ‘wanna do’ but Have to do anyways – thus
I commit myself to stop the chatter and seemingly enticing ‘other things to do’ that I create as thoughts in my head to not do things, and instead of following my self interest, I direct myself to work on what is required to be done, ensuring that I am directing myself according to what I realize I won’t probably ever WANT o Desire to do to, but simply must be done as part of my responsibility.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fool myself with internal conversations/ backchat in my mind in order to not have to do things,, which is no different to hearing a god/ hearing voices in my head which is considered a delusional aspect of humanity which has definitely become the same point we have all been responsible for when it comes to delegating the things that must be walked/ corrected/ self directed within physical reality and leaving them for some ‘external force/ source/ god’ to do it for us, which is delusional – yet I realize that I am doing exactly the same thing whenever I am expecting me to ‘eventually do it’ without any immediate self-direction at the physical level to In fact do it.
When and as I see myself chatting myself up for doing something else/ waiting for the ‘right moment’ to do this, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I can make a thousand excuses in order to Not do it, within this
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to see how I even go to the extent of creating my own justifications as to why ‘what I decide to do instead of the task at hand is much better to do it now than later’ – in this implying that I make myself remain in ‘good standing’ at all times within my mind wherein the point of procrastination is then left as a ‘future point’ that I simply apparently make the ‘informed decision to leave for later’ which is an evolved character point of thinking that because I am deciding to do something else instead of the task at hand, I remain ‘in control’ of the situation, which is not so at all, since we realize in common sense that the actual Self-directive decision implies simply doing it, instead of finding necessary knowledge and information to formulate an excuse as to why I am not doing it.
When and as I see myself thinking that I am still ‘in control of myself’ due to me making the decision to not do it at the moment – I stop and I breathe, I realize that this false sense of stability upon ‘deciding to not do it’ is in fact the result of extensive self-brainwashing/ backchatting myself into thinking why it is pertinent to ‘do it later, not now,’ which exists as further thoughts in my head that I have given attention to in order to see them as ‘plausible’ for me to use as a way to get myself out of the task at hand while remaining in ‘good standing’ within my mind – not realizing that all of this takes place ONLY in my mind and that it is in fact even complicated having to make up all of these nonsensical excuses and justifications to not do it, while all that is required is simply doing it.
I commit myself to realize that backchatting/ brainwashing myself to not do things and believing that it is an ‘informed decision I’m making’ is obviously pointing out a great point of deception that must be stopped, as common sense as the physical doing and taking responsibility for the points to do is non-existent within all the series of excuses/justifications to not do things.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use backchat words and sentences that are not even long enough to try and ‘convince me’ of doing something else, but it is rather an already made decision to simply not do it, which indicates how laziness as a deliberate point of not doing it is allowing ourselves to simply follow our ‘greatest excitement’ as that ‘something’ that we’d rather do instead of committing ourselves to get a task/ project done.
Within this I realize that what must be integrated within me is the realization of who and what I am doing this for? And this is where the point of separation emerges: am I doing this for my parents? am I doing this for others to see that I have a career? am I doing this for ‘art’s sake’ ? Am I doing this to finally ‘get myself out the loop’? Am I doing this to get a piece of paper only? And how I have judged all of these points which have become then the actual obstacle to do it, as the starting point is not yet here aligned with and as myself as a decision I made, but something that I am still seeing as a MUST DO without aligning myself to it as a point of responsibility, but sill as some gnawing thing that I have to ‘get myself into’ for a reason in separation of myself.
This clarifies another aspect that I wasn’t clearly seeing yet if it wasn’t for writing this out and placing in front of me how it is that backchat is really foolish and how there is something ‘deeper’ than just single sentences of ‘not wanting to do it,’ but the reasons WHY I am not doing it is what must be faced.
When and as I see myself wanting to ‘do something’ that I see as a burden to do, I stop and I breathe – I investigate How I have separated myself from this single task and how it is that I have not become the starting point of such task/ job/ work/ writing to do but instead deviated it into doing it for someone else/ for some other cause in separation of me, myself directing myself to respond to the actions I have committed myself to complete, which also implies realizing it is within these points that I actually push-through – and not necessarily ‘like them’ at the beginning – that I can support myself the most with, as it is breaking through my own views, perspectives and preferences toward parts of my reality that I had held a judgment toward, otherwise how else would I be resisting/ avoiding doing something if it wasn’t because I am holding a judgment toward it that becomes a seemingly ‘great obstacle’ within it all.
It is all self-talk that must be directed and disclosed in order for me to ensure I stop making things ‘more’ than what they are in my head through a mind-assessment of physical reality, instead of remaining here as breath and simply directing myself to do this at the physical level it requires so.
to be continued.
“I commit myself to not accept and allow myself to use the resistance as an excuse, reason or justification to give into energy and give up on me, as I see, realise and understand that it’s again another form of mind-manipulation to sabotage/compromise my responsibility to me and my living/application in reality.” – Sunette Spies*
I am the only one that can stop my own mind control
- Character Dimensions – REACTION Dimension (Part 2): DAY 171
- On Backchat:
- Character Dimensions – BACKCHAT Dimension (Part 3): DAY 169
- Character Dimensions – BACKCHAT Dimension (Part 2): DAY 168
- Character Dimensions – BACKCHAT Dimension (Part 1): DAY 167*
Out of the Interdimensional Portal’s Oven!
The Consciousness of the Fly – Part 1 : this is a series that will blow your mind to what extent we get mesmerized by our backchat, internal conversations to judge an apparent/ seemingly ‘great civilization’ while we’re not even aware of how other organisms interact with the earth, how we came to be a physical design that exists as the merging of energy and substance and why we have come to destroy our creation instead of having used for further self-support, expansion and LIVING. A must hear overall.