Tag Archives: impulsive

April 10, 2017

555. Opinions and Self-Aware Assessments

By Marlen

 

“Opinions are always ego and are never aware of what is life really

opinions can only exist in the mirror as ego” –  Bernard Poolman  

Here I’m having a look at how I become complicit to building the ego in our minds by giving worth, value and ‘the time of day’ to opinions and building an experience of ‘fearing’ certain opinions coming ‘from others’ in my life.

 

Now this is one of those things that it’s best to truly debunk and lay it out on ‘paper’ so to speak, because I’ve found myself still giving too much space – too much acceptance and allowance – to hypothetical opinions that I believe others may have about my life and my choices, decisions and fearing that there is something that I might ‘lose’ about myself through those opinions – like credibility, self-respect, honor – but is it really so?

 

Considering that an opinion is always coming from one’s own mind and experience in it, how can I base words or aspects – that I have to live in reality for and as myself -on others giving those attributes ‘to me’ through having a good or bad opinion about myself? It is the same as in believing that one is being truly free while living in fear of something and that’s impossible – same paradox with one believing that it is someone else that must ‘give credit’ to what one is or ‘validate’ who we are at their eyes.

 

What I’ve missed is how opinions as the building blocks of our minds/ego perpetuate and regenerate the same deception that we all collectively accept and allow through giving it ‘power’ through validation, giving it worth, giving a space into defining ourselves and ‘who we are’ through them.

 

So, is it really about ‘others’ opinions’ here that I am talking about? Or is it about the collectively and socially accepted opinions that I am in fact future-projecting as a potential outflow that I believe is ‘coming at me’ but in fact, is all entirely self-created – accepted and allow – within my own mind?

 

There’s in fact both actually, one is based on predicting the ‘usual patterns’ that may come through in the form of opinions from other people in my life – which is as predictable as I’ve seen it repeat over and over again in relation to everyone else’s life, due to it being a mind pattern and so that’s what patterns reveal: they repeat, they become predictable; and the other is in fact based on me building my own seemingly ‘innocent’ way of assessing someone’s life and consequences, where I have to be entirely honest with myself to see that as much as I believed I was being careful of not jumping into conclusions about something or someone, I in fact have done the exact same thing, many times, wherein in a possible attempt to ‘understand’ others, I jump into creating an opinion about their life, their choices without really getting to sit down with them and open up the point face to face.

 

If I look at it, we as human beings rarely do that, I know I haven’t. It’s been quite a minimal amount of times that I’ve ‘dared’ to open up a point that might be somewhat ‘deep’ with people in my reality, probably only with a handful and that’s entirely also dependent on how ‘deep’ another wants to explain and be vulnerable as well for me to have a ‘deeper context’ to themselves or something else.

 

Usually how we go about in society is creating quick ideas, assumptions, opinions of why someone ‘is’ the way they are, their life choices, decisions, their paths, their outcomes… so in a way opinions are an ‘easy fix’ to believe we have some sort of ‘awareness’ and ultimately a form of ‘control’ as knowledge and information about something or someone, that we use to then define ‘who we are’ in relation to that through values of the mind, which means we perpetuate the cycles of consciousness and inequality through this very seemingly ‘normal’ act of participating in opinions.

 

Here I see that my ‘fear of others’ opinions’ is as any fear, irrational, considering how the moment that I allow an opinion to define me, I am giving space for another’s assumption, projection and interpretation of myself or anything else in this reality to become a limitation to me – no matter how ‘good or bad’ the opinion is, because ultimately any quick assessment as ‘opinions’ are made within a limited time-frame and awareness of the person, a situation or a particular context, and I can see how quick I can be many times to think ‘I know’ how another person is and build a quick opinion about them, which are only blocks and limitations to really getting to know another person or entirely be able to physically exist in clarity within an environment without judging it from the get go and drawing a ‘first impression’ opinion to then believe I ‘know’ all about the thing, person or situation.

 

If opinions are to remain existing in this world, they will of course be entirely dependent on ‘who expresses the opinion’ and the quality of sharing a genuine assessment that has got sufficient time and/or awareness about something or someone to express an opinion about it. It will depend entirely on the person and ‘who they are’ in their lives, in their way of living, of interacting with others, of applying themselves in living principles so that then, an opinion ceases to exist as a quick judgment or assessment that leads to a misinterpretation of reality, but instead becomes an introduction, a perception within its own constrictions and limitations that attempts to give a glimpse and perspective about it, coming from an individual that can – at least – be a bit more aware and cautious of how we define, limit or expand ourselves through words.

 

In order for me to become this kind of being that can give such partial – yes – and somewhat limited assessments about something or someone as a ‘redefined opinion’ – I can learn to be careful and considerate with words that I have tended to throw around quite recklessly at times, which in my case has also been a result of my ‘quick’ jumping into conclusions, trying to ‘make sense’ of something, trying to understand something and giving off an opinion so as to make myself believe I ‘know’ or ‘understand’ something or someone, and this is what I’d like to stop existing as within myself and be that 1+ point in reality that can be more careful, considerate in creating these assessments, where I can be more aware of the words I speak – or think – about myself, anything and anyone in reality.

 

This way I can see that regardless of how ‘everyone else’ might relate themselves to their mind, their opinions and judgments, I can be aware and certain that I am the one that is changing my relationship to forming opinions and redefining them into a careful and considerate self-assessment that I can create in order to see the potentials, the points I can learn from something/someone, where I can place myself in a position of ‘placing myself in their shoes’ to at least trying to understand another from an equal stand point, where I am then not drawing conclusions in polarity or morality terms, but rather describing what I see, what I am aware of, what I can assess and conclude out of a direct experience with something or someone, where I can then be certain that I am not only speaking for the sake of ‘appearing to know’ about that something or someone, but in an actual self-commitment to be self-honest about what I see while taking my own responsibility to ensure that I am not harming, abusing, demeaning, caging or limiting something or someone in such ‘opinions’ as perceptions, perspectives or concepts I create about others or an part of reality in fact.

 

All of this I can see is what makes sense for me to do: taking it back to self, because if there’s been something constant in my life, is my own debunking of these quick judgments as opinions that I have created about something or someone through getting to know them and finding out that it or ‘they’ weren’t at all how I had thought they would be, and I end up completely blowing up my expectations, which means I had been too quick to judge, too quick to assume in an attempt to believe I know something, to believe I have ‘control’ over that which I am creating a judgment about.

 

This is how through me understanding the reasoning behind building an opinion in my case, I can place myself in the shoes of others when drawing conclusions or creating opinions about something and learn to see them for what they are: usually limited perceptions that we create when lacking the full and real context about something or someone and not knowing the details, intricacies and multi-dimensions or multiplicity of aspects that exist to everything and everyone in this reality, where we can only ‘draw conclusions’ from a point of comparison, of limitation, of judgments through our minds, which is what in fact separates us not only from really getting to know each other, but from actually considering a lot more than what meets the mind’s eye and senses.

 

This is also how I can instead focus on changing me through developing myself in terms of being careful to not be too quick to judge, too quick to create assumptions, too quick to want to ‘understand’ the intricacies of something or someone, when in fact, I have to give myself the space and time to see, realize and understand something or at least be more aware and careful of how I am seeing that something or someone, where I make sure I slowdown in that whole process of ‘getting to know’ something or someone, so that I can also not be drawing limitations within my mind in every moment, but rather remain open, vulnerable, hearing, seeing, considering, learning from and stopping quick-judgments from becoming the ‘sentence’ I form upon something or someone else.

 

Hereby I then commit myself to no longer give value and worth to opinions and judgments I have formed or created about something or someone else, and within this that I’ve created about myself and that I am aware now stand as limitations and judgments for me to stop recreating and instead, focus on a genuine ‘getting to know’ others, openly, indiscriminately. It’s all in how I decide to see reality and everything/everyone in it and if anything comes up, I have to remind myself that it’s not about ‘them’ per se, but it’s coming from me first of all, and that’s where I can start debunking the nature of opinions within myself first.

 

 

“What is best for all life is never an opinion. It is based in measurable facts in the physical. If you have self-awareness of what is best for all life in the physical, with empathy and compassion enough to overcome your fear of the system and the internal god, join Desteni to bring about a world that is based on neighborly love practically driven and directed by what is best for all in the physical world. Let the hereafter worry about itself.” Bernard Poolman

 

 

words

 

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April 7, 2017

553. Impulsiveness and Slowing Down

By Marlen

 

Here I’ll share a bit further on a vlog I recorded about a situation that I created and participated on, and share more on how when we are caught up in an experience that is perceived as ‘positive’ and getting excited about something, that is where I see I can also easily lose track of common sense and get ‘carried away’ by the moment, and how this caused consequences for others and also myself but in a way I could not see these because of only looking at the event and situation through the eyes of ‘excitement.’

Now, the reason why it’s relevant to open it up is because in my life and process within walking with Desteni, I had focused a lot more on all the ‘negative’ or ‘emotional’ aspects in my life and so I have not focused enough in how I have also allowed myself to be ‘carried away’ through feelings such as excitement and expectation towards something in the future. I have walked the point of expectation quite recently, but now what is still there to look at is the excitement in itself and how this experience can be equally blinding in my experience as ‘anger’ would for example, and the reason why I have not questioned it as much is because of perceiving it as a ‘good thing,’ but! I have now proven that I can be completely carried away by a positive experience and not considering my thoughts, words and deeds in a common sensical and ‘cold-headed’ manner, meaning, not in the ‘heat of the moment’ which I bet we all can relate to when we are impulsive and do things because the moment is just ‘kind of here’ and everything is just ‘there’ for us to indulge into it or participate in something that sounds enjoyable, good, exciting – yet we don’t really take a moment to stabilize ourselves and look at the outflows and consequences of doing so.

Getting to know myself in this state of being is definitely a necessary process for me as well, considering how I’ve noticed at a physical level how over an extended period of time of building this apparently ‘nice experience’, my body gets drained and I feel quite affected by it after a while which proves the point of how any energy is actually consequential, no matter how we see it, perceive it or define it as either positive or negative. And here’s where I can stabilize myself in relation to moments and things I could perceive as ‘exciting’ in general, which I’ve seen is more related to how I approach the whole point or situation, because it’s not really about the ‘thing’ in itself, but how I react to it within a positive experience wherein I get too ‘caught up’ into the moment that I lose track of myself, my stability, my ground.

I’ve noticed this happening in conversations as well where as I’ve shared before, I can get ‘too intense’ and not hear what others are saying but be in this sort of high that comes almost in a stressful manner around others – especially when getting ‘in depth’ in conversations or meeting people for the first time where there’s this initial kind of jittery sensation or nervousness that I have to then stabilize myself through while I go in the conversation, which comes in the shape of deliberately focusing on breathing, taking more pauses and realizing ‘there’s no rush,’ there’s time and this has been going better with practice.

However when it comes to ‘being impulsive’ that’s the actual point to decode here where I have to make sure that while I notice I am getting excited about something – especially if it is in the context of ‘getting good news’ and having something ‘happen’ that I’ve been waiting for a long time – I have to make sure that I can stabilize and ground myself in my own two feet and think/consider things with a cold head, where I can yes be ‘excited’ about something as in realizing the possibility or certainty of something being done or happening that I am aware I can enjoy myself in, however to not make any further moves, decisions, actions within such feeling experience of excitement leading to an ‘impulsiveness’ that might generate further consequences not only for myself but for others as well.

What is funny is that to me it’s clearer why I should not make decisions while being in an emotional state, but somehow I kind of ‘threw out the window’ the realization that I also have to be careful of not making decisions while being in a ‘feeling’ state at the same time, hence the ‘impulsiveness’ that comes as a mixture of excitement, a rush and ‘heat of the moment’ to do something that I am not perfectly considering in all contexts and potential scenarios.

impulsive

n   adjective

1              acting or done without forethought.

So, if I look at it this way, this ‘forethought’ can be moment to first breathe myself back into my physical body where I am not taking for granted the experience of a ‘high’ I can be experiencing in the moment, but instead make sure I can ground myself until I am the regular stable-self I am aware I can be, where I can start looking at or ‘thinking’ about the situation with a cold head and without going into an ideal of ‘how awesome something will be’ because that’s entirely only existent in my mind based on the memories I have of similar situations in my past and that’s all the reference I am re-enacting: me experiencing certain energy within a similar context, which means it doesn’t mean that this is ‘who I will have to be’ in that context this time around, because, I’m certainly not the same as before. So this is to stabilize myself as the excitement that is emerging, which is more of a consequence of me having fed this ‘excitement’ about this event possibly taking place after a long time of me being ‘waiting for it’ to happen and yes, simply seeing it for what it is: it’s really not a big deal.

The point of acceptance and allowance of a ‘high’ with this experience is what I have to be aware and careful of because it is amazing how much I can lose sight of when being in this ‘high’ and in this sense, I can also see the potential of who I could be in those same situations if I decide to get off ‘cloud nine’ and back to physical stability.

This is the way wherein I can make sure that whatever I do and act upon is not ‘distorted’ according to this energetic high as excitement wherein I become ‘impulsive’ and not really giving a thorough consideration to who I am in those moments. Now, I also have to create an equilibrium because I’ve also been there in the past within over-analyzing things and generally then preventing myself from expressing enjoyment due to thinking that ‘enjoying’ something is ‘bad’ or ‘of energy’ only and therefore I should not indulge, when in fact enjoyment can become a directive expression in a moment, as the situation is ‘here’ and taking place, but certainly no point in doing so before it’s even ‘here.’

Here’s where the fine line must be drawn wherein I can see that one can genuinely enjoy something, and not have a ‘high’ experience as in energetic-experience within one’s body – and this enjoyment is more of a presence-fulfillment rather than this energy high where our pupils dilate and our heart beats faster and one gets jittery and nervous inside, but instead there’s like this all encompassing fulfilling experience that can be here as an expression at any moment if we decide to create it, but is not subject to something ‘detonating’ it necessarily.

At the same time here it’s also to see that certainly some events, situations or contexts we might find ourselves in can trigger these reactions, where I have to simply establish self-awareness at a physical level to ensure I am not ‘losing my ground’ or ‘losing my head’ and instead make sure that I’m here, grounded, stable and most importantly not causing a strain on my physical body because it Is almost an invariable thing that after a few hours of me participating in this ‘energy high,’ I get to feel drained and sometimes get a headache, sometimes get gastritis as well because of course no ‘energy’ is really positive, it is only a way in which we categorize it in our minds but all in all both positive and negative energies are consequential for our physical bodies and this can be understood through walking the Quantum Mind Self Awareness series.

I consider I have been processing quite a bit this impulsiveness in me and it can manifest even in a split second where I think I can do something and get into a split second of risk as well,  like crossing a street while cars are coming where I trust that I can run and save myself from being ran over but, is it really worth it to live this impulsiveness just to ‘save some few seconds’ of time to cross a street? No, and I can definitely see this split second of impulsiveness becomes an ‘over-drive’ in my body at the same time where I feel quite ‘energetic’ in a way or very ‘agile’ but the actual ‘drive’ and ‘fuel’ behind that is coming from an energetic source that ultimately has its origin in a fear, in a desire or a want at a mind level where I can lead me to do tenacious things out of ‘impulse’ and have grave consequences. So, I have to be more ‘down to earth’ in relation to this and clear-headed to not make decisions while in this ‘excitement rush’ or ‘impulsive rush’ but rather walk – both figuratively and literally – in a pace where I know I am settled and grounded and won’t try to get ahead of myself.

 

With doing this, I can prevent consequences, I can prevent outflows that I could have missed in the heat of the moment and  in rushing a situation, and that’s definitely what I want to do for myself, where no matter ‘what’ is going on even if it’s quite a cool situation I can be in, there is no high, because the experience at a mind level can feel ‘good’ but at a physical level, it sucks, it takes a toll on the physical body so here I commit myself to develop self-awareness in the midst of these ‘positive times’ and moments where I can learn to enjoy myself without going into a high and where I can remain stable and ‘cold headed’ and not lose my ground.

 Thanks for reading.

 

 Haste

 

Join us in our process of Self-Expression as LIFE

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