Tag Archives: indifference

2012 Desensitizing: A Culture of Indifference


Breaking through the past by taking a more ‘open minded’ stance in societies where money dictates the trends of the world, has become humanity’s drive to ‘get rid of the past’ through consuming, transcending ‘morals’  and what is usually considered as ‘politically incorrect,’ which has become the usual way of human beings to shout out to the world: we’re not alright, yet we can ‘handle’ the truth and numb our reactions to acknowledge what is actually going on in this world through neglecting anything that goes on here and see it just as another picture shown on TV, newspapers or magazines. 

Desensitizing is then from the perspective of losing all common sense as the sensual-physical reality that is here – this is done through building a nice niche for ourselves through spirituality/ god, entertainment, jobs, sports,  virtually anything and all that can allow us to escape from our reality. It seems that it doesn’t really matter what images we get to see in the media, we will simply continue digesting them like any other piece of cake, losing all sense of realizing that such war images, poverty, abuse and chaos on the streets of some other place is still part of the same Earth that we all live in = it is ourselves in fact.

With just a few seconds after I turned on the TV this evening, I got to see a mother crying because of her  one and half month old baby that died in one of the ongoing 17 days of continuous attacks in the city of Homs in Syria – another mother carries her baby that is crying, the expression in the child’s eyes was that of fear and obvious discomfort –  the fact that basic requirements are running out such as water and medicines for such cases is indeed alarming, and there is no sign of this coming to and end. “What is everyone waiting in the world? she sobs  ‘Waiting for all of us to die?’ – and through watching this I can only breathe realizing that I am a spectator of such suffering in front of a screen wondering ‘how could I not react to this?’ – however, this is our reality and manifestation and we can only get to face it by daring to just place ourselves for a moment in such shoes – would we still ‘not care’?


The great majority of the world don’t really want to SEE and REALIZE what is going on, because that would entail having to stop the ongoing ‘live to the fullest’ type of experience wherein everyone is rather busy trying to come up with the next greatest thing that can bring some form of fortune, 15 minutes of fame and hype in a world wherein everything that shines catches our attention. Self Honesty is required within each one of us to take off the blindfold. We hide the reality that is here with light, love and gold while seeing images at the same time on TV of  war, death, destruction, famine, abuse, protests, riots, cities being burnt down, political reality shows and a plethora of news can only give us the idea of there being no hope.  This has become our ‘everyday news’ and our ‘everyday living’ – it seems almost elusive to think that we could someday have an hour of news wherein not a single abusive or violent event is reported, and this is definitely a ‘utopia’ at the moment – however we know it’s possible if we step out of our accepted and allowed human misery and start realizing that the solution exists within each one of us.

We form a thick layer of skin on top of ourselves in order to cope with what we have now become ‘so used’ to – unfortunately – to see, which is violence, abuse, blood, tears, screams, images of deformed bodies in order to fit in our current ‘aesthetical standards,’ people with their brains blown out by bombs, yet having news of people making or poverty another profitable fashion game that adds on to the transformation of symbols in humanity from reality into just another trend of the year.


There is a point here wherein in this ‘drive/ desire’ to ‘evolve’ and ‘break the old patterns,’ we have lost all perspective of any value/ principle in life. Within this rule of ‘anything goes’ according to only seeing a panorama of the end times – and believing that ‘it is too fucking late now’ – people get desensitized to just accept everything that is placed in the mainstream media that rings our bells toward escapism.  We then indulge into just absorbing & digesting everything that can be labeled as culture, trends, fashion, new attitudes, adopting ‘new ways of living’ that can apparently make us ‘forget the past’ in one way or another.


We may be through with the past, but the past ain’t through with us” is a quote I just remembered from a movie, but actually got to know belongs to Bergen Evans now that I looked it up. This is to acknowledge that as much as we build layers upon ourselves to not be affected by what’s here, we cannot cover up what we are shoving under the rug at the moment. Reality is catching up on us and it’s fascinating that many people are so into the entire rollercoaster ride that haven’t given themselves the opportunity to stop for a moment, and step ‘outside’ of it to see what is it that we are in fact accepting and allowing to exist in this world.

All our effort is channeled to  live as an image, as a character, as an idea that ‘gives a message’ to the world based on what the media is providing in order to create new shit to sell – that’s the point with all trends, for example, how to make stuff obsolete within any fashion realm which not only includes clothes, but also gadgets, cars and anything that is able to have any form of ‘improvement’ in order to sell it as an upgrade. This is also applied to any positive-vibrational-love-and-lighter type of scene wherein the reality that is as raw as can be is neglected in fear of being indulging into the negative. ‘Project an image of success’ is what keeps the masks in place, while any form of foundation that once held such lies is now virtually non-existent – and by that I mean God as Money, as this entire system that is giving its lasts breaths and is only being kept with more lies. The system is ourselves, neglecting how it functions/ how its currently existing is the same as neglecting our own lives.

Is this what we want to be living as humanity? Definitely not – and this ‘carelessness’ in terms of not giving a shit anymore is becoming ‘the trend’ wherein being stupid, being shallow, being absolutely deranged is what’s ‘in.’  What I see is like the ultimate form of spitefulness toward ‘the world,’ but also to each other as a form of pointing out how – for example – kids are currently inheriting a world sunk in debt, destruction and a general crisis wherein all that is being implanted as a message through all of these marketing trends is a ‘hopelessness,’ a ‘anything goes’ or ‘who really gives a fuck’ message that eventually becomes a ‘state of being’ within young people at the moment.

This is already palpable in society – and the more we accept and allow ourselves to be alienated within it by allowing ourselves to be affected by all the messages we are consuming, the more it will become an accepted ‘state of being’ which only propagates the same bs that will make anyone seek for and remain in a sedative position – either through drugs, food, sex, entertainment, sports or ‘anything of the likes’ – which is very convenient by anyone benefiting from it ( $ )

Any form of awareness about the actuality of what is going on in this world is pointed at, crucified or ridiculed – no one really wants to hear the ‘awful truth’ – Why? because of indulging in the comfortable thoughts of ‘Oh well, what difference will it make anyways?’ – ‘Why should I do it? It’s not my fault!’ which makes it a lot easier to walk through reality, not having to stop for a moment to see how come that this system is the way it is, how come there are people lying on the streets asking for money, why is there such an imperative need to steal money to survive?’  There are no relevant sites/ media that are ‘popular’ enough to debunk the reality that we are co-creating at all levels;  this is simply because no capitalist will support anything that is debunking the very foundation that perpetuates and allows its profit to be generated.

So, the importance of exposing our popular/ mainstream reality is a cool and necessary way of getting our reality check about what we are still accepting and allowing to exist in this world – and within that, get to see who and what we have become toward these images that we see on a daily basis and have become part of our ‘culture,’ part of our ‘nature.’ Is it really so?

Ask yourself: Who and what am I in relation to the news that I get to see everyday on TV/ internet? Where do I stand toward it? Do I care? Do I see it as ‘outside of myself?’ – Is there anything I can do toward it? And if your answer to this last question is No, I suggest you investigate in Self Honesty: what is it that I am actually not willing to accept that is in my hands to stop within myself, such as the carelessness and general apathy while ‘not giving a fuck’ about anything. We have to begin by getting to care about ourselves first, to re-establish that ‘sensitivity’ as the tactile physical ability to see what is HERE as this reality.

This world has given us everything we require and even more than that – what have we done in exchange? Nothing, simply augment the consumption, abuse and disregard of anything that is here as being equally alive.

The ultimate question is not only ‘do you care?’ but: Are You Willing to be the example of what is possible to become as an actual living being that takes responsibility for what is here?

For that, we already have a place to educate yourself, we’re already walking the process of stepping out of this general sedated and jaded state of mind and have begun opening our eyes to what is really going on, which is certainly not glamorous, not pretty, not nice – yet that is exactly what we have to acknowledge as ourselves, as the points that are HERE behind the bright lights and fuzzy loving-feelings awaiting for something marvelous to just ‘change the world’ – Nothing will come and save us, nothing will change the world and we can only turn a blind eye as long as we are apparently ‘not affected.’

Let this not be a ‘it’s too late’ excuse for you to stand up and will yourself to see reality and walk the necessary process to educate yourself, to see what you are currently existing as and make a decision to Live, to consider what living in Equality can be like if we all place ourselves to establish this principle as a living reality on Earth.

This won’t be easy  – we have an entire past chain of ‘original sins’ to stop – each one of us has to do this – and the more we wait, the longer it will take to wake each other up to see what is it that we are in fact doing to ourselves while only living as disposable motion pictures seeking for a purpose in life.

It is Time to Live, I once felt lost and blind – yet I dared to open up my eyes to see that I have always been here, as myself, just immersed in a built up mind reality that was too comfortable to leave behind  – yet I realized I could not hide any longer – this is it.

Support yourself at Desteni and participate in the forum which is the greatest platform on the internet to realize who we really are and how we are in fact equal and one wherein we all see/ realize that the abuse that is created at a thought level within each one of us Must Stop.

Investigate the Equal Money System in order to see how it is absolutely feasible to create a world that works for everyone, wherein we won’t have to sedate ourselves to ‘go by,’ but instead will be able to finally live and develop our expression to its fullest potential – because that’s what and who we really are and always have been, we’ve just been caged for too long in our minds.

You can get a daily dose of common sense at Destonians.com wherein we all dedicate ourselves to expose this reality while directing it within common sense and solutions that can actually stop the current accepted and allowed mayhem that we are candidly buying and consuming. From politics, economy, nature, health, inner-struggle, mind-demon possessions, day to day living events wherein we all realize the point of Self Responsibility that lies within each one of us by the mere fact of being HERE in this world.

Dare to Free yourself from the invisible cages of our minds –  dare to see the reality that is here – find out how we are all participants and co-creators of it and vow yourself to be part of the solution.

Get back to the physical reality and realize: Life is in Our Hands.

Life is in our hands

Check out Earthreview.eu a very cool magazine with news/articles that are a reality check of our current globalized-culture while leaving us with the necessary  direction to realize: we’re not lost, we just blew things out of proportion because of MONEY and the eternal desire to play god. It was about time reality was exposed with the necessary does of common sense where it usually wouldn’t shine.

Further support:

2012: Overwhelmed with Tears by Media

Rattling the cages of the caged

Today I woke up much later than usual.. I actually slept for long hours, more than 8 maybe.. oops..! and then I did the usual and noticed some weirdy feeling going on and yes, I knew what it was about.. me having my period. indeed… then I casually checked my cellphone and I had this message from amanda, my friend… she wrote: “Dear Marlen, I had an accident and I’m in hospital, I’m ok”
and I went like wtf? Had no immediate reactions really,  I stood calm and so I phoned her… she told me that after I left yesterday, she went out for a ride as usual in her bike and some taxi ran over her.. so she got hit right on the face. She said she had deep bruises on her face and broke her nose… there was apparently no problem with her head – or so tomographies had revealed – there were some other superficial injuries but nothing that alarming, though, she had to go into surgery for her nose today, and for some deep bruises… gee I was like… stable I couldn’t really grasp the situation but I didnt’ know what to say to her… I didn’t feel sorry.. I couldn’t feel compassion.. I actually alrealdy posted the whole thing in PF because then I perceived myself as being coldhearted etc. ah so confusion arrived.

I actually told her that nothing happens by chance these days.. then she reacted like all different and I was like fuck ! yes.. maybe I shouldn’t have said that… ah… then well I told her I would call at night. . . and then went and told my family and they got more concerned and with more feleings and emotions involved than me… so it was awkward. The deal is I didn’t know if I should’ve gone there, go back to mexico city, but I had jsut arrived here and I thought. well.. I wouldn’t make that much difference there, and me not showing any emotions or anything would be even more weird, so I decided not to go butg to call her to know how’s it all going…
I went out to the museum to see some paintings by a rather extravagant guy and I realized that all his paintings had as base or foundation point self hate/sadness/depression/enslavement to someone to love, narcisism etc… really flowery paintings, he’s gay and so he even used some male porn in his paintings.  He had some really nice imagination but claims himself to be a faithful believer and I was like blah ! lol but anyways, too many paintings cool indeed… uhm and then there was the work of this woman that makes “clothes” out of rice paper, her own hair as thread and blood.. so she stated that it’s herself put into the art work weaving herself as the thread of life. It was nice, same kind of art works … nice. I walked around downtown, I hadn’t been there for few weeks…I noticed I don’t go around walking like 100 km per hour… I go slower now, being aware of every step.. since yesterday I understood a bit more why Rattle snake is my support…  “rattling the cages of the caged” as bernard said, at that moment I wasn’t able to understand, now I slowly but surely do. It does relate to me and the way i’m perceived in this world hehe
Also I forgot to mention that while I was listening to Enigma’s song “return to innocense” when the guy says,

just believe in destiny (lol)
dont’ care what people says
just follow your own way
don’t give up and miss the chance
to return to yourself
the return to innocense

I felt this whole body shivering, like goosebumps i dont’ know it was weird… but maybe it’s mind so i don’t want to have my own experience lol . . . though words are specific in that song… self help . I’ve liked that song for 14 years now.. whoa too much time eh? two thirds of my life

Returning home I read some replies on thread about my friend’s accident… alex claimed i shouldn’t feel bad, joseph did sf for me to release that… and catherine finally put me down to earth… Her comments struck me as I wanted to be shaked and told by someone aware of this whole process situation to give perspective…
I realized that I understood that people needed to go through much disgrace pain and terrible situations in order to be aware of what they were accepting and allowing within themselves… so that’s why this kind of events happened.. and yes I said that I knew something had to make her open eyes to what she was doing to herself. Indeed self abuse, and I can see myself mirrorred mirror-errored in that as I did the same supression on myself…

She’s doing some stuff quite more extensively, but I wont’ judge anyone, and just let them BE because I will leave everyone in their process and just step in whenever I’m required to do so. Maybe the only thing I can do is support as “I am here as you” and that’s all. Cath might’ve taken my posts as me stating that I am an aware person and she isnt’.. well… yes it might’ve been true or so my expression just showed that so cleraly it’s me, although it wasn’t my intention. So  yeah it’s me in that accident as well but somehow all my life I’ve lacked this compassion or emotions and feelings towards pain and accidents and death…

The first time I remember crying over death was when my mother’s best friend died of cancer… and I had taken it all cool but it was the first funeral I attended… and this was like maybe 5 or 6 years ago already (2001) but at some point I just burst into tears.. and that was because of memories of who she had been, how sweet person she was etc… quite a moment that was… but then I really haven’t gone through TOUGH stuff in life… and I certainly wouldn’t like to go through any of that, but maybe that’s why i’m kind of jaded… Yep I wanted to talk about me being a bit jaded maybe. So this side of me showed up today as this even unfolded… and as posts came by and replies… and the whole thing now is that I’ve got to release this and i’m waiting for somoene else’s perspectives because I’ve got a bit of polarity perspectives right now. I won’t go to visit her until I go back on monday… I’m done with the “what will they think if i don’t go etc” and so I rather put all myself into a phone call than actually going there… maybe or I’m just justifying myself to not go.
So it’s been quite something right? and period coming today.  I ate here at home, my dad bought me sushi, he’s such a great dad, and then mom and him went to movies and I was left alone..

But there was a living room delivery for this new room at home and I had to take that and move furniture and stuff and Gee! my dad’s downloaded anxiety and perfection and anguish and rushing whenever things pop off without a warning came out and I rushed and started yelling and being all desperate calling my parents because they couldn’t make moves with car being in the garage and I don’t know how to drive…. etc… almost broke a cable of the modem. agh.. and got something incrusted in my direction finger right hand, it’s still there.. wonder why… lol

I read B’s stuff about only 11 families making it through process in whole world at the time. Instant wish desire for my family/parent’s marriage to be one of the few ones… Instant fear of losing what i’ve known till now… as it is. It’s strange because little by little  I’m revealing all these points that take some effect-reaction-feeling and emotion within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish/hope and desire my family being one of the 11 families up until know making it into process

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing the family construct i’ve known so far

I forgive mysel that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing my father
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing my mother
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing my sisters
I forgive myself that I have accpeted and allowed myself to fear losing my doggies

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear death of parents

I forgive mysel fthat i have accepted and allowed myself to fear death of marriage of parents

I forgivge myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place myself into future tragedy situations not living her as the moment

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge a for being dishonest with herself
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge a for inflicting self abuse.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that we indeed need to go through tough situations to realize what they have accepted and allowed within  ourselves
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from A and everyone else in this world ( I think i’ve done this one quite few times before)

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be fired up by things going out of control today
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myslf to define me as jaded
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as self doubt towards my direction and standing up in this life
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame my period for my mood swings today
I forgive myself that i have acceptd and allowed myself to abuse eating because of menstruation time
I forgive myself that i have accetped and allowed myself to abuse sweet not taking it is as the sweetness of life
I forgive myself that i have accetpd and allowed myself to react with feelings and emotions while reading catherine’s post in accident thread

My sister showed me this video about being happy and enjoying life and i got fired up because I know she showed me this with the starting point of her considering i’m not enjoying myself, that i’m being a bitter person and a party pooper all time.. so i explained her all the stuff and well she might’ve not understood it all but maybe some ideas rang her ears .

Ah.. they want to remain in la la land… why do I have this obsesion towards making other people know about the shit’s that’s going on?
well.. I don’t know if I should stop doing this or not.. or if I should just let everyone be in their own thing.. . .

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be bothered/fired up by my sister showing me that la la land video
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to react with irritation and anger towards my sister’s comments on accepting the ups and downs of this word becase “that’s the way this world works”

No wonder why people remain fucked up for so long without noticing.. they accept the shit to happen

And I am still gazing out of the window to maybe see my neighbor once again, or maybe I hallucinate listening to his guitar… ahh fuck .. I really”hope” that i’m not going downwards or backwards on this because I’m actually spending time making videos and doing the stuff i did, listening to music and all that… so.. yep… I want perspectives on this

I don’t want to be messing with me without knowing that I might in fact be doing the exact opposite thing .. .. yep still gaze out the window hoping he might be there..

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire meeting my neighbor by chance
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to react towards car honks as if it was him
I forgive myself tha ti have accepted and allowed myself to hallucinate guitar playing far away.

I also saw on street one of the girls that he used to go out with, or goes out with don’t know and she looked at me like with these eyes of “are you ok”? lol that was the girl I felt more “rivalry” with because she is few years younger and she tried to copycat some stuff from me in order to be liked by him… etc… so I reacted but for a few seconds in seeing her face

I forgive myself that I have ccepted and allowed myself to have a reaction inside while seeing g popping off in the street
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to care about what she thought of me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever feel rivalry with gaby
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever feel jealous of g as being a’s affair
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wonder if a still is seeing her
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire not meeting up anyone anymore therefore hiding myself from everyone
I forgive myself that I have accetped and allowed myself to still care about his affairs and moves

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deem this day as being a not self centered day, being in and as the mind for most of the time.. so

I have much work to do –  I stop here.

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