Tag Archives: injustice

414. Solution to Ferguson: Learn Self-Forgiveness

 

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A fascinating point opened up as I was watching CNN. Yes I tend to criticize CNN quite a bit for the false information and scare they provoke, but as I was cooking last night and turned it on to see what kind of ‘disinfo’ they were sharing, a female TV show host was being interviewed about Ferguson and the words ‘Forgiveness in Ferguson’ were on the headlines of the news section and as I seek for such info on the net, I found yet another reverend that talks about Forgiveness required to get to a solution. What’s interesting about the woman speaking about Forgiveness is that beyond the usual ‘being able to forgive another,’ she explained there is forgiveness to apply to ourselves, which is another way of saying: we require to apply Self-Forgiveness for what we have accepted and allowed – almost her words there.

 

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What do we have to Self-Forgive here? Upon witnessing the current ‘rioting’ and looting and anger that people in Ferguson experience, what we have to do as humanity is realize that this violence, this sense of ‘being violated’ will get us nowhere, because what we are witnessing is only the outflow of our entire history of abuse, disregard, violence and harm we have imposed toward each other, our environment, we have essentially violated our right to life by complying to, accepting and allowing ‘the way the world works’ as this current dog-eat-dog functioning of the system in a blind manner. This world-system – our laws, our institutions, our governments, our fears, our paranoia, our media, our scares, our injustice – is our collective creation, this is what we have to begin to self-forgive here first because as long as we continue to see ‘perpetrators’ and ‘culprits’ outside of ourselves, the fight, the reclaiming of ‘justice’ will continue without any sense of self-responsibility, which is the rather uncomfortable truth: any act of abuse is not done by ‘others’ but it’s always what we have collectively co-created by having abdicated our participation and decision making processes to decide what is best for all.

The fact that the word ‘Forgiveness’ is pointed out in our MSM (Mainstream-media) as something that is required to solve the problem, should not be taken for granted: it is one step further to understand that we have to step down from our righteousness, our ‘victimized self’ that we climb upon as our mind-horse where we take ‘the abused’ position to ‘ask for justice’ without first focusing on seeing and coming to realize how it is that all the problems we are facing is our collective consequence of having Never actually having cared to review the laws, the agreements, the money systems, the general structures by which we organize and live as a society, which would then of course lead us to see why do we have to create all of these laws and live in constant fear of one another, protecting our ‘right to defend ourselves’ from other potential ‘wrong doers’ or criminals, instead of creating a world system that can benefit everyone and so naturally create peace by doing so?

What we have missed is that the real problem exists within our own minds, within our desire to blame something or someone for any form of abuse, instead of seeing how no justice, no equality, no support or real care has ever existed toward one another as living beings because: We Haven’t Created it, We Haven’t Lived such words ourselves in the first place! All that has ever existed is the war mentality, the selfish nature of only caring for our own wellbeing and not even giving a thought about others’ lives.

How can we ‘demand’ something like Respect when we haven’t ever really lived SELF-Respect such as ensuring that one is not accepting and allowing any form of abuse, harm, diminishment or counterproductive actions that prevent us from living to our fullest potential, individually – so, how can we as individuals feel ‘violated by others’ when we have never cultivated this basic point of self-support as self-respect?

 

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How can we ask for ‘Justice’ toward some authorities and institutions that we created based on our inherent belief of being unable to direct ourselves and take responsibility for ourselves within the consideration of what is best for all, to create and structure our entire economic, political and social system within such principled living considerations: considering everyone’s wellbeing, supporting everyone to live in dignity, to create a sense of community and solidarity that leads to a well-functioning society… none of these aspects have been our starting point as human beings to coexist in. Even if these ‘rights’ are written in constitutions, on paper they look really nice, but when it comes to living such words and agreements: we have all considerably failed to do so because we have ultimately abdicated our responsibility to live such principles ourselves, individually, which leads to outcomes such as wars and any other form of brutality imposed by our designated ‘authorities’ to create a sense of ‘order and control,’ organisms and institutions that exist as an outflow of us believing that it is more important to impose punishment and be constantly spied on for a sense of security rather than focusing on providing everyone a general good living standard so that the ‘anomalies’ of the system are reduced to genuine mental problems – not ‘criminality’ as theft due to the necessity to get money to live in basic dignity. This is what we have co-created as our social injustice.

This is why, the more we face consequences that shook the foundation of our so-called ‘stability’ or disrupt our belief that ‘everything is generally fine,’ the more we have to start considering that the solution resides within each one of us. It is awaiting to be ‘awakened’ as a sense of self-responsibility to first Live in each one of us such as Self-Respect, to Take Self Responsibility for what we have co-created as our world and so be Willing to Work Together for solutions, to no longer depend on institutions/authorities that are there to ‘calm the waters’ based on imposition of force or further punishment toward those that have resorted to violence or crime because that’s all we have ever learned as human beings to do in moments of distress, fear and desperation to ‘get an answer’ – once again, just because we haven’t learned how to become and implement solutions that benefit everyone, which is absolutely possible for us to do.

 

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The solution begins within self: not giving into fear, helplessness, hopelessness, rioting, protesting or ‘demanding’ answers from those ‘authorities’ we have placed in such positions because we have rendered ourselves as useless or incapable of solving our own problems – it’s about time we begin to Self-Forgive our perceived victimization on these events, to self-forgive the accepted and allowed abuse we have co-created as our ‘world system’ and how we treat each other as criminals, as potential enemies, as a ‘problem’ instead of facing our own problem inside ourselves: to face and self-forgive our paranoia toward each other, to face and self-forgive our fears, to face and self-forgive our belief of being incapable of changing things – we have to self-forgive all of the ideas, beliefs and perceptions we have about the problems that are going on in this world, to not call out on the perceived ‘culprits’ but to stand up in the realization that: we did this to ourselves, this is our creation and only through allowing us to self-forgive this massive abdication of self-responsibility will we ever come to a general agreement that the solution resides within each one of us: to learn how to Live Self-Respect, to Live Solidarity and learning how to Live by Principles which will prevent us from having to ‘punish’ others as a way to solve problems that are fully preventable if we so agree and decide to create a world system that can benefit everyone’s lives, because that is what we all want for ourselves anyways, isn’t it?

 

The solution is not further police intervention, no further ‘presidential intervention’ or curfews…

 

Time to focus on the solutions, on Self-Forgiveness as a first way to recognize our complicity and Self-Responsibility in all problems in the world right now and so creating a culture of becoming and providing Solutions instead of continuing existing in indignation, victimization and the perception of being powerless to change things.

The time is now, we have only one life to do this – so let’s stand up as examples of what we can be and become when we integrate self-responsibility in our lives and expanding this sense of awareness toward others in our everyday living.

 

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218. Revolting Is Not the Way to Change–Education Is

 

War Against Ourselves: Revolting means your are Part of the Problem, causing more ‘Harm’ than any form of actual change with ‘good intentions.’ The road to hell is paved with them, isn’t it? It’s easier to oppose than taking Self Responsibility. The obvious functioning of our society as a polarized system of good and bad defined as forces that can be currently counted and defined by money is the point missed within this all – and where does money originate from? An individual and collective agreement of this world being run by a force that has never been equalized to the benefit of all. Hence trying to ‘change the system’ without understanding, is only accelerating self-destruction than being any form of actual aid/ support to stop the massive obliteration we’re committing upon life on a daily basis as the result of our egotistic trips to become either the ‘saviors/ revolutionaries’ or the ones that take most of the cake – anyhow, we’ve all walked in both pairs of shoes.

 

We can only create characters that oppose the system out of ignorance OR deliberate neglect to take responsibility for ourselves as this world system. How can any Real Change stem from denying the cause and origin of the problem being existent within us, within our very own participation? Opposing the world system, the monetary system without understanding the representation of our very own human physical body configuration externalized as our current society through what we are now witnessing as the massively scavenging force of ‘Capitalism’ and creating further attempts to mitigate the problem with concepts like ‘Communism,’ but Never focusing on that which generates the problem in the first place: The Human Being.

 

Marshall McLuhan not only was right in terms of how we’ve externalized our internal functioning of the mind as our current media, but essentially the entirety of how our mind functions is and has become the world system today – unless this is realized, we’ll continue playing characters that oppose and at the same time, propitiate the necessary opposition in order to generate the current world system wherein we have several protests, wars, revolutions around the world Asking for Change – but, has anyone really for a moment stopped to wonder Who and What we are essentially revolting against? If we are all one and equal then, is it that we are maybe not seeing, realizing and understanding that that which we are fighting and complaining about invariably exists within Us as well?

 

This is what must be understood in Self-Honesty: playing characters that pretend to change the world or save the world is another egotistical act as I’ve exposed here, and one of absolute comfort as it’s best to blame and judge and retaliate against ‘others,’ than taking Self Responsibility – and this is what we are here to expose, share in order to Educate ourselves about that which has never been taught in our schools or in our families, not to say our general environments in this current world system:  we can only change the world if we Live an understanding of how we function as our minds, as our physical bodies, to what extent everything we do, say and act upon creates a consequence not only for ourselves, but as the totality of who and what we are as humanity, as the world.

 

That is a process of Self-Education and through our blogs within the 7 Year Journey To Life, the Eqafe interviews, the Desteni material as well as the Desteni Forum and the Equal Money System, we are presenting our personal processes stepping out of the Mind Characters and taking responsibility for everything we had blatantly neglected thus far: how we are in fact the very creators of our world and there’s nothing or no one to blame or fight against, it is about creating solutions and stopping our individual brainwashing that has caused more separation and opposition than any form of real living awareness.

 

 

The Revolutionary Character:

Self Commitments (Part 1)

I commit myself to educate myself and share with others what I’ve realized in relation to how we’ve become the result of the environmental conditions that we’ve been exposed to as our current world system, wherein if we are born in capitalism = we’ll support the obtaining of wealth, power as money equating success and fear everything that opposes such ‘well being’ ideal; and similarly, if I had been born in a communist country, I would be hating the capitalists and create a sense of superiority based on what I would then be indoctrinated with to believe that communism is ‘the savior and the key in this world’ – all of it based in nothing else but two polarities that in no way have in fact Supported Life to be LIVED in Equality – and this is what must be absolutely clear within this: We as the Equal Money System proposal have No direct precedent in this world as there has been No world-system in the past that has been the absolute materialization of the realization of what supporting All Living Beings Equally implies – within this

 

I commit myself to expose how anyone that is thus fearing Equality as Life by the mere fact of it being linked to any previous form of government or social organization, must understand the history of humanity as a perfectly planned enslavement system with no actual change in the entirety of humanity to the benefit of All, because all changes had only been envisioned at the level of countries/ races/ cultures in the past and Never before taken to a global scale wherein No countries, No Races, No languages, No Cultures, No Religions stand as a barrier to implement a common sensical System that works on physical terms and the essential basis of physical requirements to live, to satisfy in order to be able to be a functional living race along with the rest of the species/ living beings that are equally here in this world, our reality.  Therefore

 

I commit myself to create a point of common sense in my personal living at all times which implies that I cannot in any way form a judgment, an opposition, an experience toward another human being at the level of emotions or feelings that would lead me to create my own personal definition opposing to ‘others’ which is the essence of the revolutionary/ opposition character, wherein I had thought that through opposing and exposing the system I could make a change, without realizing that as long as we expose and identify the problems of the system but do Not contribute to an actual solution, we remain only as part of the problem and Not the solution –

 

I commit myself to share how the solution is thus not a magical formula that can be implemented to suddenly work and get to a point of equality in this world – no –  I paraphrase Bernard Poolman when he said that No system will change the world unless the Human Being Change, and that is also part of what must be realized within the Implementation of the Equal Money System, it won’t be an instant solution for humanity – it will alleviate the level of suffering, pressure and stress that everyone is living in due to the survival-mode we’ve existed as due to accepting and allowing our current systems to function the way they do. Thus, it will be a basic point of support that will allow human beings to have the necessary time to get Real Self-Education and Understanding of Reality at a level that we have never done before as humanity, because we had lived essentially as a perfect enslavement system/ plan with no ability to see beyond our own preferences and purposes in life that would only be based on the perpetuation of the same system of opposed forces with no common sense. 

 

I commit myself thus to be part of the people in this world that commit for Life, to be part of the platform of support for all beings that are willing to Stand up and Take Self Responsibility, not only for what is perceived as ‘personal benefit,’ but within the understanding that once that you are Aware of the problem, you cannot just keep it to yourself and be ‘fine’ within you after you’ve gotten to a point of self-stability. One thus realizes the basic factor that was always missed within any form of change/ revolution in society: No One is Free Until ALL Is Free – and that is the ultimate definition of Freedom that I commit myself to live as, within a principled living wherein I am no longer directed by personal ideals and beliefs of ‘who’ as a revolutionary character can be and become, but instead work, live and function as an Equal within this social organism that we must take responsibility for individually and collectively.

 

I commit myself to expose and educate myself and others to see how there is no ‘them’ that we can oppose and create further antagonism toward, which is the basis of the revolutionary/opposing/antagonist character that I had cultivated as myself, but that we can only create a solution if we consider and regard All beings  as equally responsible and equally capable of establishing a solution. 

 

Within this all, I see, realize and understand that communism is just another boogie-man that is opposed within the environment that I grew up in as a capitalist society that was conditioned to fear anything that would be related to ‘equality’ or ‘socialism’ without really being informed of what an actual socialism or communism would entail, which has never existed in humanity. And as such, realizing as well how we have to absolutely get past of any previous conceptions of what ‘Change’ entailed in this world system through revolutions, protests, opposition, coup d’états and any other form of revenge toward a system that we have All been equally participating in, and that we have All collectively agreed upon and continue to support the moment that we believe there is something to oppose, fight against, retaliate or create further wars to ‘change’ them/ others in any way. That is the basic platform that any so-called ‘revolutionary character’ must understand:

 

We will get Nowhere if we continue fighting against each other no matter how much in your consciousness you may see others as ‘the evil’ and ‘the bad guys’ – unless you understand to the T how this reality is created and how we are all equally participants, you’ll keep playing the necessary opposition upon which this entire system is based upon, never realizing that even the opposition was necessary to upgrade the same system over and over again – and the proof is that there has never been any actual Change in Reality toward the betterment of all beings’ lives in this world, but only further wars, destruction, to further retrograde outflows that have prevented us all from realizing one single thing: We won’t ever thrive unless it is through establishing a System that recognizes all individuals as Equals.

 

I suggest investigating the solution we are proposing as an outflow and realization of all of this process of seeing how solutions can only exist if we stop playing our individual characters that support the division and opposition between men, and instead focus on the common sensical aspects that we require to work on, in order to support one another to step out of and stop participating in the self-enslavement personalities that we’ve become either seeking positivity, power and success or seeking revenge, hating, blaming, judging which are the basic aspects that we’ve all played in one way or another, creating the obvious polarity that is existent within this world at the moment, wherein there are wars simply because of characters opposing each other’s self definition that can only exist as knowledge and information, and Never have considered Common Sense as What’s Best for All as living-flesh organisms that Live in the same World.

 

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189. Anger and Irritation upon Procrastination

Consequences – Self Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience anger and irritation toward myself and ‘the world’ because of my own procrastination and within this, having ‘wasted’ the time that I had when I had it to do this properly and instead, having to now rush things to make them ‘work’  – however I see and realize that I must be very aware of not going into a rushing state wherein I end up doing things just to ‘get them done’ and forgetting about realizing that each thing that I commit myself to do  requires the exact same amount of self-awareness here as breath to do it, and within this, committing myself to not just ‘get things done’ and get the ‘obstacle’ out of the way – in this

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to equate my life to ‘getting things done’ and seeing the tasks and points that require direction as simple ‘points’ that I have to simply ‘get done and over with it’ without realizing that in this attitude toward my tasks and projects, I am in fact missing out the entire point of the task/ project in itself, which is actually an opportunity for me to slow down, stop seeing life as this series of projects and assignments and instead support me to realize that each and every single task I commit myself to I can take on as long as I am here as breath directing myself in every moment and within this

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, within the consequential outflow of me now having more tasks to do and having ‘wasted the time’ before, I will have to simply be more strict with myself and my time frames, as I see and realize that if there is this ‘extra thing’ that I have been procrastinating to do, it must be done as soon as possible – and within this equate all things that I have to do appropriately.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the fear of ‘oh fuck I’ll be stuck here for another half year’ without realizing that I am not stuck and I created this for myself – within this

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to realize that any point of pressure and rush is created by me and the relationship I created toward moving to another place and finishing school but at the same time not wanting to simply get the whole thing done with the final paper, which I see and realize that the sabotage is only toward myself.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience anger toward myself and within this go into a pessimistic attitude toward it because I will not apparently be able to move in another half year, without realizing that if any consequences have to be faced, I will simply have to face them as they are and as long as it takes because there is no other way within this when one is subject to processes that I have no control over other than doing my part which is getting this document done.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get pissed off when things go out of what I have initially considered they would go through/ as,  which implies having created a time frame for some other particular task, without realizing that I should have actually done this one written document long time ago and that it is my responsibility to now ensure that I use every bit of time to get to everything that I have to do, instead of wasting my time getting pissed off and irritated at everything and everyone because of my own dead corpse of procrastination.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an energetic experience over procrastination as this further anxiety because ‘things are accumulating’ without realizing that I am the only one that is accumulating them as thoughts of what I have to do, instead of just doing it.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to blame others for the decisions made and try and project my own anger and frustration toward me due to not having done the things that I had agreed to do a long time ago.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be irritated because of having had music again the whole fucking day yesterday, wherein I go into a powerless mode because of not being able to go and shut people up so that I can have my peace and quietness to be able to write.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to waste another day and not write because of considering that the music/ noise from neighbors is absolutely irritating and impossible to write when having that constant sound.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to even get irritated at someone arriving home earlier today and within this fearing that the noise will come through the interview and believe that ‘they should not fucking be here’ which is plain control-freak that wants peace and silence in order to please me and my ideals of having a quiet weekend.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wake up with a bad mood today because of things not going as I expected and within this, get irritated at everything, and everyone without considering that I am only acting out and lashing out my own energetic experience of anger and frustration for the accumulated procrastination toward points in my reality.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get irritated because of things not being done according to how they were planned and agreed to be done, within this becoming inflexible and irritated because ‘things are not going the way that we decided and agreed to do them,’ without realizing that I am simply using this as an excuse to lash out and project my own irritation because of not having planed my life with my reality-responsibilities in order to be prepared and have everything done by now to then be absolutely ready and steadfast for anything that is required to be done.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately neglect the consequences that I would have to face in real-time reality based on my procrastination to not get this particular scholar task done and within this, having to postpone everything else that I wanted to do for undefined time in order for me to ensure that I can in fact leave with having everything sorted out.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself and my own departure based on my own procrastination due to me wanting to leave but at the same time creating deliberate obstacles in my reality that make it impossible for me to leave, even thought everything else is ready and the one that I am only waiting for is myself.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be irritated at my own deliberate self-sabotage because ‘I knew what I was doing all the way’ and I didn’t stop, which places into perspective the actual Evil that we are and do to ourselves in order to make our lives more complicated simply because of accepting and allowing dishonesty from our side.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to miss breathing the moment that I simply get knowledge and information as having to ‘rush’ something without considering that any ‘rush’ can only exist as an energetic starting point to do things, which obviously always will carry out a consequences – thus

When and as I see myself rushing to do something and wanting to get it done as fast as possible – I stop and I breathe until I see that I am in fact being here stable and the movement within my physical body is not that of an anxious movement and strain, but is in fact a self-movement here as breath. Within this, realizing that I can only direct one point at a time and that I require to establish a routine that makes it practical and physically possible for me to do every single point every single day – and within this, also not accepting and allowing further manipulation to want to stop doing something to do that other thing, based on preferences or specific values given to one or another task, as I see and realize that that which will become part of my daily schedule, is all equally relevant and important.

 

Within this, I see and realize that the rush that I experienced this morning was because of having an unexpected notice and within this, having my little plans ruined because of believing that I would ‘still have time’ to work on this written project that I have been procrastinating, without realizing that such project should have been done by now and that the only way I will get this done is through simply doing it and stop whining about it.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make of this task this ‘huge’ obstacle in my reality based on and directly proportional to the amount of time I didn’t direct it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the consequences are for myself yes, but also toward everything and all – and that this is actually depending on me and how I am able to stop the energetic experience toward my own procrastination and simply focus on what is required to be done.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an experience toward things going ‘out of plan’ without realizing that If I had in fact lived my life according to doing things in the time that I had also ‘planned’ to do, I would not be existing in such an energetic rush and anxiety because this is only the consequential outflow of my own procrastination and deliberate postponement to do things – the consequence is thus me having to simply do all things required without making an experience about it.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the thinking ‘I don’t want to see anyone today’ wherein I am simply wanting to lash out onto people in my reality what I am experiencing within me due to having to face the consequences of what I’ve done, which is unacceptable since that is how I have criticized people as well, when they behave in absolute anger and irritation to people without the other people they are communicating with having anything to do with the person’s mood and personal frustration/ anger/ irritation thus

 

When and as I see myself wanting to lash out and be irritated at people in my environment as a way to show and reveal that ‘I am pissed off at myself’ I stop  and I breathe – I realize that this is actually rather foolish and stupid to do since who we are is already the accumulated and manifested consequence of having wasted our lives and time in entertainment and the feel good experiences of the mind which are now here to be faced as the time that I could have used to work on my task/project/ document, instead of now existing as an energetic experience of anger toward ‘the world’ as a way for me to blame and exert my reactions instead of taking responsibility for them, which is unacceptable.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to even get irritated by the presence of someone at home when it is supposed to be ‘all quiet and empty’ in order to satisfy my desires to have no noise around me, which has become a rather constant point of desire that I will surely have to get to, because it’s being also the source of anger and irritation because of people constantly playing music in the house or in the neighborhood, which makes it impossible for me to record interviews, but at the same time, I see that it is a point of me wanting to control my environment instead of realizing that I have no possibility of doing that, and that if I want absolute silence I then have to wake up in the middle of the night to have a relative silence around.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be irritated at someone cleaning in the house which reveals the absolute nonsensical way of existing as the mind, since I would get pissed off if people do not clean and now I get pissed off because someone is cleaning and ‘making too much noise’ – within this I realize to what extent one can utilize anything, virtually ‘anything’ outside of oneself to blame and project anger toward without a cause but our own self-created experience of anger and irritation that is only existent within ourselves.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am becoming my father when it comes to being constantly irritated and angry when things are not working ‘my way’ and be an absolute ‘sweet and loving person’ when things are going my way, which reveals the absolute disparity that I am allowing within myself based on the external environment and how it suits my preferences and desires/needs, instead of seeing and realizing how I have to take responsibility for myself and what I have created within me also as these energetic experiences of anger and irritation according to wanting to control my world and having things always working ‘my way’ and within my desired ‘time frame,’ without realizing that I have already imposed too much of myself as self interest toward my day to day living.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use another person as a reflection of myself to justify the anger and irritation as something ‘genetic’ without realizing that I also learned from looking at my father how he would go into anger and frustration and further retaliation toward others whenever things would not go his way, within this

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience frustration as that surge of energy that I am just waiting to lash out on others, so that others can be aware of me being angry and somehow seek some misery-is-company type of words and attitude as a confirmation to me being ‘right’ in getting angry

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect my physical body throughout all of this and that I have not been diligent enough with myself in order to be breathing and Here as I direct points and situations, and that missing out on breath and missing out time and space that I could have used to work on my project is simply no longer here and that the only point I can do is giving it direction along with any other commitment  I have agreed upon doing. 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get very sleepy as I write this and want to just shut down and go to sleep, without realizing that this is a defense mechanism in order for me to simply not continue realizing that this has been a key-aspect within my reality: how I have become this replica of what I would see my father do and that would actually bother me quite a bit, which is lashing out anger upon others and not taking self-responsibility for it. Thus

 

When and as I see myself wanting to lash out my anger toward others and not take responsibility for this single moment of preparing myself to ‘present’ myself in a particular way toward another being – I stop and I breathe  I realize that this is the moment wherein I have to ensure that I sort out and deal with my own reactions through self forgiveness and self corrective application as this is the only way wherein I ensure that I stop the abuse that I’ve imposed on myself as my reactions being passed onto others that certainly have nothing to do with it – and even if they did, I realize that I have to work on the point of not getting angry at them as an energetic experience, but simply point out something in common sense and at all times considering not only my own preferences and considerations, but what is best for all and within this, I realize that I cannot ‘know’ what’s best for all when I am existing in an energetic experience in my mind as within that I will only continue doing that which satisfies my energetic experience which  – as evil as it sounds – is wanting to intimidate and make other feel guilty for whatever reason, without realizing that this is certainly not the way to go, as I am only projecting onto others that which I am doing to myself /as myself.

I breathe – here and walk the points as required within Self Responsibility – I stop the blame and anger projected onto anything and anyone in my reality and assist and support myself instead to realize that there is only one solution to this all: just doing what is required to be done.

 

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