Continuing from 94. In-Sin–Irate: Anger Issues
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to act upon abuse in a way that I am abusing myself as my physical body by reacting emotionally with what I have defined as ‘anger’ toward a scenario of animal abuse, without realizing that in such experience I am in no way changing the actual reality that is generating and causing such abuse in the first place.
When and as I see myself reacting with anger followed by a sense of petrification when witnessing animal abuse in my reality, I stop and I breathe – I realize that in order to be able to assist and support myself to stand in the face of the consequences we have created and manifested in our world, the reactions must be non-existent as they are only an indication of me placing myself as a reaction that in no way proposes a solution to stop the problem in itself. Thus I direct myself to instead continue breathing through it, as I realize that if I were to be able to witness the entire reality of what exists here in every single moment, I would be dead by petrification and anger.
I realize that it is about acknowledging and witnessing what we have become in order to become aware of the consequences that we have manifested for ourselves and imposed onto life/ animals/ the environment itself based on how the current monetary system is existing as, wherein dog fights are used as an ‘illegal way to gamble’ wherein greed, animal abuse and twisted entertainment are conflated into a profitable business just like any other business that is based upon abuse.
I realize that the reaction comes whenever I see in real life the actual consequences of the abuse we have imposed as humanity upon animals, life and ourselves becoming slaves to our own enslaving system, which makes it clear that it is not about the point of abuse only to a particular set of beings, but an entire chained-existence of actions, words and deeds that are existing in separation of who we are as one and equal. Hence everything that is currently existing, contains in an implicit manner the same form of abuse –the only point that changes is that we do Not see such abuse right away, we do not see the slave labor that is contained in the very computers we are using to write and communicate ourselves with, we do not see the family that earns slim to nothing for cultivating the coffee that I drink, I do not see the suffering of the animals whose skin was used to build the boots that I was walking on when approaching a ‘situation of abuse.’
Thus I see, realize and understand that we have been limited to only react to that which we can immediately associate with ‘abuse’ as an obvious image of a man hitting a dog – however, such abuse is implicit in virtually everything and everyone in this reality. Thus
To assist and support myself to clarify this point for me in and as every moment that I see myself reacting to an explicit image that depicts abuse, is to understand that everything and everyone is equally participating and equally responsible for what I am witnessing as ‘abuse,’ and that the only way to really stop the abuse that is here – whether I witness it or not – is through creating an entire reform within this system from its foundation, which is Money at this stage being the point of value over life in separation of life itself.
I realize that my reactions in no way can change the reality for such dogs, nor will it change ‘the mind’ of the beings hitting the dogs as they are most likely taking such point as a job that they are dependent on in order to live.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to want to judge the beings in my mind and see them as utterly ‘evil,’ without realizing that we are All equally evil just by having accepted and allowed ourselves to never question this reality and the ways that we have ‘built our civilization’ based on building, creating, selling, using, consuming what is here without any consideration toward what it is that we are in fact doing to ourselves, as we never had even considered that we were in fact equal and one to the animals that we abuse, equal and one to the environment that we suck dry in order to satisfy our needs and even ‘luxuries’ that are defined according to a point of ‘having more money/ more power’ to spend in points like ‘dog fight gambling’ as an illegal business that is existent due to all the factors mentioned above: separating ourselves from life as one and equal, getting an energetic experience of pleasure from seeing dogs fighting, from the very ability to ‘win’ within gambling and as such having everything wrapped with the nice experience of even making money out of the entire event, which is all created at a mind level – the same mind that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become without a question.
Thus I see and realize that the same point of abuse that I judged and blamed others for exerting upon dogs, is equally and one existing within and as me just by the mere fact that I have coexisted here in the same reality without ever daring to see what is behind everything that I ‘own’ and that I use on a daily basis in order to continue my ‘life,’ which within this understanding has never been a REAL equal and one self-supportive Life, but has been and existed as a condition of enslaved abuse wherein we have conned ourselves/ each other to lie, cheat, abuse in the name of survival – thus, I am not separated from the beings that hit dogs and abuse animals in the name of money, as I use the same money and the same products that use animal testing, the same money that is gambled in dog fights, the same money that pays for products derived from animals that are abused and treated as products only and any other living being – including the environment – that we use on a daily basis in order to ‘live.’
Therefore I commit myself to ensure that a new system is able to be in place in order to stop the chain massacre of events that we are equally responsible for just by the mere fact that we are equally existing HERE, ensuring thus that the new system is based from its very foundation on Life in Equality – and that Money no longer exists as a point of power that can only exist as abuse over life/ ourselves – but instead becomes a single tool to ensure that all beings are equally supported in this world, so that atrocities committed due-to and because of making profit/ making the most through abusing what is here is no longer possible, as there will be no need to create ‘wealth’ if all have the ability to have everything that is required to live in a dignified manner, wherein all GREED that is causing our world-system problem is treated as a disease at a mind level that each individual will take responsibility for.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize in the moment of experiencing anger toward an event/ situation of abuse that I am only witnessing but a snippet of what goes on in this world on a daily basis, as everything that we currently use, consume and make money from is linked to the same system of abuse that we have all complied to by the mere fact of accepting money as a means to live – instead of making life something that is equally recognized as who we are and as such, start considering how to implement the best ways to use, transform and consume what we require to live in the most adequate and studied ways to ensure the least harm toward life/ animals/ the environment is considered within all aspects of our human-civilization living.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to even try and exert anger and experience anger toward the event of abuse, without realizing that in such moment I am Only considering ‘my experience/ my own reaction’ to the event, wherein I am in no way supporting the beings to step out of such character as ‘the abuser’ nor am I creating an entire systematic change to ensure that dog fights are no longer existing as a clandestine business – therefore,
When and as I see myself wanting to conjure a plethora of reactions and offenses in my mind toward ‘those’ that I perceive as perpetrators of abuse, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am only reacting to what I am witnessing in that moment with my physical eyes, yet in no way looking at the entire context of how such point of abuse is equally existent everywhere else in the world wherein an exorbitant amount of abuse is being imposed onto virtually everything and everyone in this reality. Therefore I see, realize and understand that me in that moment wanting to cure and shout at another is plain mind possession that in no way would have changed the scenario for the people or the dogs in the event.
I realize that I am ‘them’ as well and that everything that I reacted to was a mirror of myself that I was not willing to recognize exists here as myself and as such, I see the reaction as my own point to work with in order to be able to stand in the face of abuse, to stop all reactions as self-interest within only looking at ‘my experience toward abuse,’ and instead become the point that works in reality to take responsibility for the current system we have created, which will be primarily working first with myself to stop all minor reactions toward abuse – and as such, prepare myself in every moment that I am able to breathe through such scenario to be able to then make actual decisions that will be directed to change the reality that is currently based on money only – and establish Life as the one and only real value on Earth.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to deliberately ‘make others see’ the point of abuse, which is no different to want to convert someone to ‘seeing reality the same way I see it,’ which is futile and of not practical solution as I am in such action only recriminating on another what I have defined as ‘blatant abuse,’ however in no way am I actually assisting and supporting the beings to realize what they’re doing within the entire context of how the money system exists, our relationship to animals, to this entire world and each other as equals. Thus
When and as I see myself wanting to ‘show’ to others the point of abuse that they are exerting over other life forms and themselves, I stop and I breathe – I realize that in no way my recrimination and judgment toward them will make a difference to those/ that which is abused in the moment, as I am in no way actually walking with the person to reveal the point of abuse and share the practical ways to stop and correct themselves, which is something that cannot be imposed onto another, but can only emerge as a decision self makes in order to be part of the solution and stop the problem.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to direct myself to speak toward other human beings without realizing that in no way my starting point for doing that is here as and in self honesty, because I am only in fact reacting to the entire event wherein I am in no way for example, the reactions and aftermath of what they could have done from me asking questions to them, which is then a point to realize how
When and as I see myself reacting within this surge as a desire to speak/ call out the abuse that others are imposing onto animals/ any other life form or themselves is stemming from actual fear and denial of what I am witnessing, with no consideration of how to assist and support the beings to realize what they are doing or participating in, as I am merely interjecting myself into a situation that I came to face ‘by casualty.’
Thus when and as I see myself with this desire to speak to others based on reacting to the point/ event/ moment/ situation , I stop and I breathe – I realize that everything that I have done thus far in my reality is by a pattern of ‘seeing the abuse outside of myself’ but never even daring to see how I am abusing myself and my very physical body because of and just by the fact that I had accepted and allowed myself to become the mind that reacts to abuse, but had in no way considered the practical ways and means to stop such abuse overall.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from ‘the abusers’ and believing that they have ‘no heart’ and that they are ‘evil in nature,’ without realizing that everything that we are just by the fact that we have become the very epitome of separation from and of life itself makes us all the reverse of Live as Evil, wherein some of us have made ourselves as the entire denial of such evil existing within ourselves – which then points out to see how it is dishonest to react to one single point of abuse and call it out on others, without daring to see it within ourselves first, without daring to realize that our very current survival is dependent on a system that is based and founded upon abuse – hence, no one is innocent, no one can possibly ‘wash their hands’ from being the very person that hits a dog that is trained to fight against other dogs in clandestine businesses such as gambling, as it is all formulated and schemed in a human mind that I also exist as.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react and/ or desire to react in equal violence as thoughts directly linked to harming others the same way that I am witnessing others harming other beings, which makes me equally participant in that moment of the same abuse I was witnessing, as I accepted and allowed myself to deliberately want to harm and kick them, which is an aspect that is existing ‘here’ as myself and no different to exerting it out on dogs – therefore I see and realize to what extent I have made myself the ‘innocent’ and ‘righteous one’ that can ‘call out the abuse on others,’ without realizing the entire reaction that comes before ‘calling the abuse on others’ is me wanting to attack and harm them in an equal way as that which I am witnessing in the moment.
When and as I see myself feeling ‘righteous’ to call out on the abuse of others, I stop and I breathe – I realize that calling out the abuse and wanting to deliberately ‘do to them as they have done onto others,’ is taking a point of equally abusive vindication that I have in no way the right to exert onto another as I am in this only participating in the same cycle of abuse. Thus I stop believing that ‘I have the right to become angry’ by participating in a deliberately crafted momentary surge of anger and imaginary projections of violence and abuse toward beings in a way to ‘make justice’ to a point that is in itself stemming from an absolutely unjust system that has never ever considered life, that has never ever been based upon living Life in Equality and Oneness – thus, I am equally responsible for everything that is here and as such stopping the reactions toward it is the first and primary point to establish here as myself, in order to be able to practically face the consequences and reality we have become and in that, instead of reacting: work with myself and others in order to establish Solutions for this problem in a tangible and physical manner wherein such abuse will never again have to exist because of money.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having deliberately wanted to ‘create anger’ within and as me, as that familiar state of energetically charged reaction of paralysis wherein ‘I want to make justice to the situation,’ taking the self-righteous point of me being ‘innocent’ and ‘right’ about it, without even taking a moment to consider how within this I am wanting to deliberately use my physical body to play out anger as a way to force myself to point out/ call out the abuse on others, which is unacceptable.
When and as I see myself wanting to become angry in the self-righteous position of ‘the benevolent being’ wanting to ‘call out’ on the abuse that I see others perpetrating onto something/ someone, I stop and I breathe, I realize that in such point I am becoming the ‘savior’ character toward other life forms that cannot defend themselves- however in such moment I am only becoming part of the fighting and retaliation system that in no way supports to create a solution, but only adds up to the entire conflagration of emotions and reactions that do have consequences on a physical level for all participants involved.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to movies portraying a clandestine business of dog fighting shot in the city I live in and merely take it as ‘fantasy’ and something that was not in any way a ‘reality’ of ‘my reality’ which shows to what extent ‘my reality’ has become only that which I am able to see, witness and experience first hand on my day to day basis, which is the very core of the problem in this world because we have not dared to recognize, see and understand that no matter if we live in a castle where ‘nothing ever bad happens,’ everything and everyone that is here is equally responsible for any and all forms of abuse that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become by the single acceptance of living as a mind over matter/ over the physical / over life itself.
Therefore, I see and realize that just because I don’t see it – the abuse – it doesn’t mean it’s not there/ it doesn’t exist – as I see and I realize that in this very denial that we simply cover up with further abuse we have neglected the reality that is here as ourselves, as all forms and ways of abuse that we base our current ‘life’ upon, which is no life, is abusing life to get by, continuing existing just as consuming beings that have no regard to realize that what is being consumed, used and exerted ‘power’ upon is ourselves, and that All Abuse is Always Self Abuse.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make myself ‘brave’ in that moment of approaching the beings that I am wanting to judge and curse at in a situation of abuse, without realizing that I cannot measure the consequences of this entire event and as such, I realize that I could also be harmed and cause further problems from me wanting to ‘exert my right to call out the abuse’ in a situation wherein within the current conditions of this physical reality, I did expose myself quite a lot, as I in no way had an idea of how the males could have reacted toward me.
When and as I see myself wanting to directly speak toward someone that I see is perpetrating any form of abuse onto themselves/ another – I stop and I breathe – I realize that in this besides wanting to ‘save another’ I am in fact placing myself in an unpredictable situation wherein I have no idea of what thoughts can drive another to do and react as – thus I ensure that I do not participate in such points unless the being is explicitly requesting to be supported s that would indicate that ‘then’ we do have an opportunity to create a solution – yet wanting to just ‘call out on abuse’ on others in that moment is actually a risky situation that I cannot measure its consequences to the T as to ensure that I would not end up being harmed as well.
Therefore, when and as I see myself witnessing a situation of abuse, I stop and I breathe – I realize that my participation in such point would make no difference to stop the situation and that I would only expose myself unnecessarily. I instead assist and support myself to see the context of the abuse to ensure that we do take into consideration everything that is currently linked to any form of abuse in this world system, which is nothing else but our own mind that must be walked through a process of self correction to ensure that everything we do, say and think is based upon Life in Equality at all times.
Thus I stop existing only as a self-righteous caller of abuse and instead, focus on becoming a self-responsible being for myself, my own reactions, my own reality wherein I no longer only ‘react to abuse,’ but I instead become aware of the situation, study the points behind such abuse – what caused it, who, how is it allowed and accepted and how it can practically be stopped – which is most likely always linked to money and the relationship we have created toward money in our minds
I realize that ‘my anger’ is just ego – wanting to feel ‘bad’ for a point of actual abuse which is unacceptable – thus I stop from wallowing into my own reactions and instead ground myself to breathe through facing and realizing the consequences of what we have accepted and allowed ourselves to become – and instead, walk the process of self-correction to ensure that I no longer am part of the chain that unfolds these crimes against life, against ourselves = I stop the inner battle of anger existing within and as me.
We’re all responsible and responsibility comes for all participants here as we can no longer just expect some god-president to do it for us, we cannot expect someone to come up with a ‘bright plan’ to just implement ways to ‘save the planet’ and ‘save the animals’ or implement peace in a world where war is waged against ourselves in our very minds every single day that we accept and allow ourselves to exist as our mind.
Until Here and No Further.
Support and investigate the Equal Money System wherein we are practically looking at the points that require to be realigned and directed in a way wherein all beings are equally supported to live, making of abuse only a mind-related condition that will be prevented with proper education and supported through a process of Self-Honesty that can be walked through the understanding and application of Self-Forgiveness, Self-Honesty and Self Corrective Application
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Ahora veo 2008 (Now I See)
Interviews that supported me extensively to come to these realizations and give myself proper direction to write Self-Forgiveness are:
This is a continuation to: