Tag Archives: jesuits

444. Self-Corruption: Jesus Calls!

Some months ago I had a dream where from afar I would see the book by Thomas Piketty ‘The Economics of Inequality’ on a table, and when getting closer to it, it sort of morphed into or became a book with quotes and principles said or provided by Jesus. This was somehow indicated as my ‘new project’ or point of focus. My reaction was that of ‘what? Jesus? Is it about Religion? No way!’ and woke up considering ‘the meaning’ of this dream without seeing much around it. Later on with a clearer mind I considered that maybe I should in fact get more back into the basic living principles that are the ‘building blocks’ of a new human kind-ness, instead of getting a bit too much into theories and knowledge of all the reasons why for example, our economy is not working and inequality is so prevalent… to name but one aspect of our reality that is spiraling into decay. At the time I didn’t give any further thought to it other than mentioning it to some of my friends/colleagues before we had a live hangout, and I let it pass.

But this same point came up today as I have been writing lately about this ‘greater picture’ approach and now it makes more sense to me. After the process I have described in the recent posts when it comes to diving into certain information about the world system and understanding the main patterns of the problems – often getting a bit stuck on the point of how ‘to make it work, it is the human being that has to change’ – I’ve come to realize the importance to focus more or emphasize revising and so making of the living principles or ‘golden rules’ – as they are usually called – more of a practical living ‘philosophy’ for a lack of a better word,  and see how through applying those principles/words in my own life and sharing that process can encourage others to consider these same principles as the ways, methods and solutions to sort out/correct or align the consequential outflows or problems in our reality.

This comes through following the patterns and the ‘human imprint’ in all of the problems existent ‘out there in the world system’ which are very much created and perpetuated by our daily actions – or inactions – individually and so collectively, considering that each one of us one thread in the entire fabric of this reality. This implies acknowledging and recognizing the need for each one of us to focus on our self-change through living these principles of doing to others as we’d like to be done onto, learn to love ourselves and so love/care for others as an extension of ourselves, give to others as we’d like to receive as well, seeing this interdependence that exists between one another where each one of us holds that potential to be a ‘life changer’ and essentially that ‘change’ we have been waiting for as a form of miracle: it won’t ever come if we don’t actively work on it.

So instead of creating a specialization or emphasizing just ‘one aspect’ of our reality, like for example money and economics and all its theory, problems and seemingly ‘unfixable’ current state of affairs –  which is a consequential outflow from the principles we haven’t yet lived within our lives and toward one another – we can start practicing tracing money/economics/politics back to self, which means to follow the creational lines of a particular system, structure, mechanism that ‘rules our lives’ as ‘the system’ back to the very human thinking process and behavior that led to its creation and laws.

An example is how the current theory known as ‘economics’ and its flawed existence that has proven to not be of any real service to the benefit of life, is in fact a mirror of everything that we have all neglected in our very own minds, bodies, lives, relationships between one another and toward the environment and precisely depicts the ‘nature’ that we’ve all mostly become: self interested, greedy, looking for the least effort and maximum profits, competing to ‘be at the highest level’ at the expense of others… and the list goes on. Economics currently exist as the reflection of everything that we have not changed or decided to live up to in order to coexist in harmony, in real recognition of our equality as life – instead each one of us when living in such self-interest and survival mode have co-created our current economic systems that are not meant to fulfill everyone’s necessities and capabilities, but maintaining some above others = which is precisely reflecting how we think, act, behave and decide to do in our lives, always looking for a personal benefit, something to take advantage of, something to control, which are traits we all have within our minds.

In approaching our reality within this ‘greater picture’ perspective, we no longer diminish ourselves into this tunnel vision fixated on ‘everything that is wrong with politics or economics or wall street’ but start broadening the spectrum to see that those very same ‘qualities’ that those systems represent and have become, are existent in all of us in varying degrees, which makes us all invariably the source and origin of the problems in the world. Now this is not actually something to get really sad or depressed about either, lol, but it is in fact great news and I’ll continue to explain why with an example.

One of the most common words or problems we single out as the reason why ‘politics’ or ‘economics’ or just ‘anything in the world’ don’t work as it could or should is Corruption, which curiously enough was pronounced by the pope today as  ‘more addictive than drugs’ and so one of the ‘greatest crimes’ as well… but, do we usually question ourselves how corruption exists within us?

The other day I placed this idea to one of my family members, about  how we tend to focus so much on ‘corruption’ out there embedded ‘by default’ in the name of our president, or the bankers, or the corporate executives … really, making of ‘them’ the ‘human piñatas’ to kick and blame for everything that we haven’t dare to take responsibility for and in doing so, we get away with murder by avoid seeing how corruption Does exist within each one of us, regardless of being or not being part of such ‘elites’.

So when I mentioned to this person how corruption has its origin within ourselves, he simply placed a serious face as if I was in fact making a bit of an insult to him, because this person may perceive himself to be a regular honest and hard working person. I noticed that sharing these ideas to try and all of a sudden open up deeper layers of understanding of how ‘what exists within ourselves creates our without,’ is not such an effective process in ‘making others see what this practically means.’ And as I continued the conversation I mentioned how we all have our false-self-consciousness where we like to regard ourselves in this ‘goody-two-shoes’ light where: we do nothing wrong, we are exemplar individuals or at least we like to believe ‘we do not harm others’ and ‘we work hard and honestly for what we have’ which one would then accordingly conceive as yes, an integral person that has no participation in corruption. But! This is also still a limited understanding of what corruption in fact means as a trait that we’ve all applied and lived in our lives.

corrupt

n   adjective

1   willing to act dishonestly in return for money or personal gain. Øevil or morally depraved.

2   (of a text or a computer database or program) made unreliable by errors or alterations.

3    rotten or putrid.

 

Now that we are aware of this meaning, I’d like to ask if we willingly and voluntarily ever dare to and direct ourselves to dig into those ‘dark corridors’ within ourselves where we in fact keep a hold of certain desires, fantasies, ideas of what is good for ourselves only – and here I can expand it to not only focus on this  personal gain as a monetary or experiential ‘good stuff’ – but I bet that we all can relate to also keeping ourselves trapped in cycles of self-deception, like maintaining a particular experience of disempowerment, depression, sadness or anger which is also a form of self-dishonesty where we limit ourselves and our potential as well, because we are corrupting our individual and so collective potential by holding on to a particular experience of disempowerment, of blame, of anger, of making others the ‘bad guys’, instead of focusing on what we can do and become to benefit ourselves and so others around us too.

Here doesn’t matter if we hold on to a positive or negative experience or idea of ourselves, the point to understand here is that we have all corrupted ourselves in the name of some personal gain or interest, no matter how ‘big’ or how many ‘millions’ or no millions are involved in it, because we tend to only associate the word ‘corruption’ with politicians, bankers, corporate people, leaders of any sort which usually leads to ‘blaming others’ and that story is a bit of a broken record for us all by now, really.

Here I’d like to entirely focus on the corruption of self, or ‘self-corruption’ that is essentially any form of acts, words, deeds in self-dishonesty, meaning where we are willing to compromise ourselves and others in the name of some form of personal gain or self-interest, even if those thoughts/words and deeds are detrimental to our lives. Let’s not forget that the word ‘evil’ is the reverse of ‘live.’

 

Here I’ll place an example I can share which relates to not taking the point ‘back to myself’ when it comes to precisely standing in my ‘goody two shoes’ stance of ‘seeing the corruption only outside of myself’ in the form of ‘the corrupt politicians,’ the ‘corrupt elites,’ the ‘corrupt CEO’s’ and the rest of it, with which I would in fact stand in this apparent ‘purity’ of sorts believing myself to ‘not be like them at all!’ and even having the guts to insult some of them, just because I felt that I could due to ‘what they were doing onto us!’  (blame character) while perceiving that I was in fact the most honest and transparent person I could ever know.

Well, this is that kind of ‘false-self-consciousness’ where we love to veil the truth of ourselves in order to keep kicking the same ‘human piñatas’ we’ve made to blame for all things going wrong or not working out. Little did I dare at that time to ever take the finger back to myself and see how by becoming angry, by calling names, by believing that I had to be the one ‘pointing their problems out’ through becoming a sort of ‘intellectual’ around certain topics to ‘expose’ ‘all the flaws’ I was not in fact creating any form of solutions at all, I in fact was doing it in this self-interest which is the mechanism of ‘trumping others’, of seeing myself ‘knowledgeable’ enough to ‘have a say’ on everything that is ‘wrong’, and so using this knowledge or awareness of things as a way to place myself on my own ‘purity’ and ‘clarity’ self-built pedestal where I comfortably blinded myself from recognizing that I, in fact, was as much of a participant in all those things I have criticized in ‘those’ that I have pointed fingers at as ‘the problem.’

 

In other words, I didn’t acknowledge that I was by default and almost by ‘virtue’ of having a human mind already self-dishonest. And that I continued to corrupt myself, my potential when standing in that ‘self-created pedestal’ of apparent honesty and purity or ‘positive light’ as in ‘not being part of the problem’ or even perceiving myself as ‘being part of the solution’ for being aware of the problems in the world, yet never, ever willing to take it one step further and recognize how it was in fact myself in how I ‘operate’ in my own mind that I had lived in a corrupt manner all my life, always – if not openly, secretly or in a veiled form, seeking to blame and point the finger ‘outside’ of myself, never daring to question my own fears, my own desires, my own ‘traits’ and ways of manipulating others, controlling, seeking my personal benefit, cheating, seeking recognition or importance or ‘just getting angry’ about things as a form of righteousness and so, a form of self-corruption, because! When one has this false-consciousness of ‘others are all wrong and I am right’ one in fact becomes a righteous person that is really difficult to get out of the ‘vicious cycle’ from, because one can justify being right all the time with really good structures of words and ideas and knowledge here and there to keep this ‘idea of self’ in an ‘uncorrupted manner’ or ‘in a good intentions light’ – but, I must say that this leads nowhere but to inflate an ego that is hard to pop and would most likely lead to a very rough landing, yet a very necessary one if we are to recognize what it means that ‘them’ are ‘us’ to and that the ‘mess’ of the world is our very own mirror = my-error too.

I’ve described myself having this ‘haughty position’ which is the same as being righteous, inflexible, intolerant, very critical and judgmental specially towards what is commonly named as ‘the system,’ I almost would rejoice myself in being able to – excuse me but it is so – talk shit about others as politicians or world leaders or religious leaders and ‘their ways’ in which one creates this superiority construct that emerges from in fact having felt disempowered toward ‘them’ too, but that’s another story and layer of personality where we place ourselves ‘above’ others through insulting/taking revenge and the rest of forms of violence for a particular pseudo-empowerment.

Here in this example, my self-corruption can be described as this personal veil of ‘goodness’ in the guise of being apparently ‘knowledgeable’ enough to see the problems and how they were caused by x, y and z but! Never by myself, ever… well here I was in fact perpetuating the corruption in the world where one is not willing to recognize one’s own personal desires for certain ‘gain’ – material or not –  for a personal interest in the form of an experience, a fantasy, a dream of grandeur which can even be disguised in certain seemingly ‘good ways,’ like wanting to do ‘good to the world’ while secretly wishing to also sink the ones I had defined as ‘the bad guys’ in the worst of prisons or ‘hells on Earth’ possible as a way to ‘trump’ them so to speak, and rejoice in the thought of that. Yikes! Isn’t that actually quite the ‘evil’ in me that I was really blind to see and acknowledge because I was holding on to this ‘goody two shoes’ person that ‘wants to fight for justice and equality’? Yes, it is, it’s the ‘evil’ that we rarely – if at all – dare to see within ourselves, and this is precisely the kind of corruption I am here to open up and also dare each one of you reading this to also start doing for yourself.

It was only when I dared to open up this ‘secret mind’ of mine where I held all of these laudable self-indulgences as ‘dreams’ for myself, disguised as ‘good causes’ where yes, I did may have wanted to ‘do good’ and even portray myself as some kind of ‘liberator for the people’ lol! But, at the same time, hide the fact that I would mostly rejoice at ‘trumping’ or ‘vexing’ and ‘ripping apart’ the plans of those that I was blaming for ‘all the bad in the world’ and so, seeing them suffer which equals taking revenge.

But! If someone would have asked me: hey are you full of hate and desire for revenge to those that you see as the problem in the world? I would have most likely said “Noooo, I just want to focus on doing good stuff!” And here! Ladies and gentleman is where the self-corruption begins, where we are not really daring to see the truth of ourselves.  See how this all was very nicely packaged, I’ll use Sunette’s recently used words: ‘like swords disguised as flowers’ where I veiled off my own ‘evil’ with seemingly ‘good intentions.’ I guess this is partly why it is said that ‘the road to hell is paved with good intentions’ for one of these reasons where if one is not entirely clear, stable, without a single judgment or desire or fantasy achievement ‘for oneself’ as one’s ego, we are prone to simply recreate or become/take the place of those that we have criticized or have wanted to debunk the most.

I’m glad I have been able to see this with such clarity now because I was on my way to becoming that kind of person that would stand in continuous ‘defiance’ toward the system, in an angry manner yet possibly feeling very disempowered and most probable very lost in my own personal life. In this, I’ve also found how we tend to create a false-sense of ‘empowerment’ with knowledge, information, anger toward ‘those that we point the fingers at to blame for everything that is wrong’- according to us – and perceive that we are ‘above’ them in our minds by doing so… inflating the knowledgeable ego and in fact not realizing that this is the perfect recipe to keep ourselves all divided and conquered, because we recreate the same division where we don’t think of all of humanity as oneself, as Self, as equals in fact in living substance, but we like to keep fighting against oneself disguised as ‘others’ and this way, we won’t ever, ever get anywhere.

What did it take to unveil the ‘self-corruption’? Courage, it takes courage to be self-honest, and realizing that what I was holding on to was my own ego, delusions of power, delusions of superiority that kept me also quite fearful, sad and depressed at the same time, always thinking in those ‘greater realms’ of reality and not really focusing on the living-breathing-me that is here: my life, my mind, my body, my day to day activities, my relationships, my living purpose.

I’d say this is one of the layers of self-corruption where we neglect so much of ourselves when focusing more on the outside as a form of distraction to not ‘focus on self’ first of all, and that is self-corruption as well, neglecting our own self-responsibility to our own minds and life trying to ‘fix it all’ out there and not daring to have a good honest look at our lives, the ways we live, the kind of relationships we have, what we decide to buy/eat, how we relate to others, how we do our jobs, what motivates us every day to wake up… The same goes if one focuses too much on one’s ‘internal’ dreams and desires and neglects the outside, same story, it’s self-corruption because we go pursuing everything that we have believed will ‘fulfill our lives,’ not realizing that we won’t ever genuinely ‘be happy’ in this world as long as there are other beings having the worst ‘living’ experiences and having no support at all to overcome their position, because! We haven’t regarded them as our equals and given them what we want for ourselves too. See again how the ‘problems’ reflect back our very own ways of thinking and currently interacting in our reality?

I understand that this might be a seemingly disempowering point, where we can get to see the core and origin of all the problems ‘out there’ existing within ourselves, as ourselves, but it is in fact not at all so. If anything now we know it is us that have to develop such self transparency, self integrity, self honesty, self investigation, diligence, dedication to change at an individual level to live and recognize this potential and ‘power’ as a capacity and ability that we all have in our lives if we dare to truly work on our inherent self-corruption and align ourselves to live by principles to in essence, consider what is best for our lives and that of others, how we can become the example of everything that we preach and say ‘should be the new nature of the world’ out there. This takes time, takes effort, takes walking through our minds and all its challenges which I must be honest here: won’t be easy, but it has to be done if we are genuinely wanting to change this ‘corrupted’ world starting with ourselves.

My last suggestion is thus to start with investigating where corruption exists within you/self, instead of perceiving that corruption only exists ‘out there’ or in the form of some ‘manipulative and controlling evil people’ and in doing so, challenging this tendency we all have of keeping seeing ourselves under this ‘good light’ all the time, which if one actually dares to see, whenever we want to focus on the good only and not dare to or want to see the actual ‘dishonesty’, the actual ‘dirt’ that exists within us so to speak = indicates we are mostly existing in fear, which is probably also what leads to corruption in the first place, existing in fear of others, in fear of ‘not getting any’, fearing lack, fearing betrayal and so not trusting ourselves or others.

We recreate the same corruption over and over again by fearing seeing the truth of ourselves, that’s the first layer of self-corruption that is necessary to look at, where we deny or neglect seeing ‘the unpleasant’ stuff, the ‘dirty laundry’ that sometimes we even don’t dare to open up for ourselves. And let me tell you that it is actually really liberating and self-empowering to start opening up these ‘dark corridors’ and ‘hidden spots’ in our minds to first take all of those judgments we’ve spitted out toward others back to ourselves, asking oneself: where have I sought my own personal interest? Where and how have I lied to remain in a particular seemingly ‘comfortable position’ to not change myself? Where have I pretended to care about something and not really ‘caring’ but wanting to see myself in a ‘good light’ all the time? Where do I perceive that I am the only one that is ‘right’ about things? Where do I want to do good and at the same time ‘punish’ others for the ‘bad things’ they have done? Where do I want to ‘gain the most’ with the ‘least effort’? And the list goes on.

It is certain that one can only get to see this ‘clarity’ of ourselves by walking our minds and that means learning to see ourselves, to learn how to function without being controlled by our seemingly ‘uncontrollable emotions and feelings’ and dare to face and change the really self-corrupted ways that we have veiled off as ‘normal’ or ‘good parts’ within ourselves. We All have to do this if we want to truly stop the current usual ways of pretending change comes from this or that thing/person ‘out there’ only, it is about ourselves, one by one, so let’s get to wash some dirty laundry at home first.

This then goes back to how focusing on living principles, the golden rules, basic principles of self-honesty and – very important – self forgiveness is the way to fix ‘the greatest problems in the world’ such as corruption in our ‘economy’ or ‘inequality’ and so forth… now I consider that maybe that dream did have a point after all, where it is in fact so that we have to stop the delusional ‘cartoon’ image of Jesus and all the rest of nice stories and focus on the living principles, what they imply, how to live them.

Thanks for reading

 

Economics of Inequality - Living Principles

 

Learn more about Jesus and the living process of living principles:

 – The Crucifixion of Jesus

 

Suggested interviews:

 

Learn HOW to start doing this yourself :


211. Why is Life a Struggle? Why Can’t All be just HAPPY?

 
We’ve come to neglect the fact that it takes a single decision and agreement to enable a state of well being to all human beings. Any brainwashing propaganda saying ‘We Can’t’ must be categorized as a weapon of mind control , because throughout our investigations we’ve come to understand how it is through massive propaganda systems through the media, that the population ends up being Educated by TV, by Newspapers, by everything which has become part of the ‘collective unconscious’ without anyone being seemingly regulating such aspects that influence us all – is it really? Now, I’m not speaking about conspiracy theories here, it is to realize how we are all aware of how Self Interest as the desire for power/ money complicates everything, leading us from personal trivial desires to ascend/ escalate the ‘social ladder’ or justifying wars in the name of a so-called national defense while regurgitating words that keep the population fearing each other all the time, fearing ending up without any form of money and support, in essence: fearing that their own ‘life’ is able to be turned off in no time.

 

Watch documentaries:  The Power Principle |

 

What Happens when we Don’t give to each other what we would like for ourselves as a basic form of ‘protection and security’ that is always sought by a human being that stems from the preprogrammed design of surviving and essentially, doing all it can to continue living, even if that means killing or consuming everything on his path? This is the history of our human civilization – do we have the power to change it? Of course, we just have to agree that there are basic conditions that we all require to give and receive in Equality in order to live Well*

I can attest how the moment one suddenly has no such security as owning your house – even on ‘paper – having enough money to have your ‘usual treats’ or any other vainglory that money brings, one is faced with an uncanny experience that I had never had before in my lifetime back then – since I was 8-10 years old when it happened – and it’s what one would call Depression, no distinct to how the crisis in Capitalism is also dubbed as ‘Depression’ and it only exists as an energetic experience of having little to no energy/ money which causes an emotional state of ‘Depression’ which is simply having a seemingly ‘negative experience’ of anxiety, distress, worry, concern, apathy and general diminishment of your ‘self-esteem’ a.k.a. not getting your happy-meal so to speak to continue escalating in the social standards in society.

Why have we even allowed Lack of Money to be a regular condition in this world?
Why have we never questioned poverty and ‘depressions’ as an actual disease that must be cured at the root/ source of the problem, which in all cases is the current monetary system?
Why have we only managed to ‘mitigate’ the problems that affect us ALL and Con.Form to what is presented as temporary solutions to a lack of money – such as further Debt that sounds like Death wherein you end up rolling on your payroll like a shroud wherein all that is left of you is a piece of flesh and bones that forgot about itself and always sought life, but never lived.

 

The reason Why we are doing this is because we have neglected each other as Equals – hence it is a matter of Education, it is a matter of being willing to step out of the brainwashing that is constant in our society which is nothing else but the sum total of individuals seeking to fulfill their own interest. Call it ‘making a living,’ I call it collective agreement to abuse each other as Life and must be Stopped.

 

Throughout these blog series I’ve investigated my own process of forming and linking the idea of well being, happiness, success to Money and I’ve titled it as the Elitist Character which is the inherent pattern we’ve acquired the moment that we live in this world and learn that only through money we can satisfy ourselves in all aspects – whether it’s the usual love/relationships, business/job and personal spiritual endeavors or simply having the ability to hoard money due to belonging to a certain bloodline-lineage that enables you to have the ‘Time of your life’ from the moment you are born.

For the rest of us mortals, we have to simply try and attempt to Succeed as in Sucking out the Life essence o the seed that gives life, following dreams of ‘someday Finally making it’ and spending the rest of our days literally ‘dying to live’ – why is this so? and why is it that the moment that we lack money and we are unable to have a proper living condition and/or meet our usual ‘treats’ that only a few people can afford in this world in fact, we are subsumed into what is called a ‘Negative Experience’ which is similar to the ‘lower vibrations’ that people on  Heaven would define the demon dimension to be like, never realizing the abuse that such standard of ‘heavenly experience’ meant for the Earth and human beings in it (Research: Demons in the Afterlife) The World is in Reverse –and yes, ‘the world is a vampire,’ Billy Corgan, however I would mostly say the Human’s been a vampire serving other greater vampires that have become our regular Empires that will kill and destroy as long as some form of bliss can be obtained from it – isn’t that gory? How we’ve neglected GLORY as the Victory over others through going on a killing spree without any form of mercy?

Why have we even accepted the fact that ‘life is a struggle/ life is a fight’ which takes me back to the motto of the Jesuit school I went to: Militia est Vita – yeah, Loyola was a soldier and suddenly saw himself maimed and enlightened with some form of godliness to predicate well being on mankind, did he have to Suffer in order to get such Godly predicament? Points to ponder, not to mention that his legacy  continued throughout  Jesuit schools that are meant to ‘shape leaders’ in this world are anything but affordable for the most of population.

To correct and redirect the title of this blog which is a common misconception in our lexicon: Life is not a Struggle, it is Us human beings that have made it a Struggle through the acceptance and allowance of the current world system ‘as is.’ Time for a Revolution? No, time to first debunk our own brainwashing through Writing, Applying and Living Self Forgiveness In Self Honesty – that’s the key to massive liberation from the drive-thru lifestyle behavior and start Valuing that which is REAL as Life, as the Physical.

 

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to never question why it is that I suddenly felt sad and worried all the time as a constant experience only by knowing that we had financial troubles and within this, taking it personal to the level of believing that It would be a solution for them – my parents – not having to pay for my food and education, making it then an entire out of proportion desire to not exist as a fleeting solution in order to ‘wash away’ the worry and concern that I was witnessing in my father, never really considering how it is that in fact it would have only brought further problems.

I realize that people committing suicide due to financial problems are taking the easy way out apparently, and see no way to solve the problem – however, there is no way we can escape this world and reality for we will continue coming back into this Earth, and there is no way that one can accept the fact that the future of this world remains locked into a certain self-destructive mode as it is currently, and I also realize that this depends on us, human beings, being willing to step up and Take Responsibility, because if there is something that is neglected at all times throughout our lives whenever we ‘flirt’ with any desire to give up or even ‘leave the Earth’ as in committing suicide, we are deliberately denying and neglecting the responsibility that we all hold toward this world and ourselves as individuals that have accepted and allowed the current world system of debt as the only way to ‘make money,’ instead of agreeing altogether to establish a system that will Provide for All Beings Equally

It is already quite clear that we are running only from actually doing all we can in order to establish a solution that will be permanent, and will become the new living-phase of us as humanity for the first time on Earth, since all we have been thus far, is nothing else but slaves serving a greater ‘God’- either metaphorically speaking as in Religions and Spirituality – or literally as the Money that gives us such bliss and joy on Earth.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into extensive fear as a child about losing our house, losing ‘my safety and protection’ and within this, becoming unstable in my personal experience due to believing that having no money meant being close to death and that was it, close to living in poverty as the poor people that I would actually Fear becoming and living on the streets with them and eating what they ate and having to beg for money in order to survive.

I realize that this is the reality of fellow human beings that are HERE in this world as myself, and that the only barrier that divides me from realizing myself As Them, is the mind that I have cultivated in order to always seek to benefit me-me-me and never consider the reality of myself as the totality of who and what I am as One and Equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to generate an emotional experience of sadness, worry, concern, anxiety and fear generally when hearing about us not having much money and having our house owned by the bank for a moment which to me felt like suddenly descending from heaven into hell and even though my reality didn’t drastically change, the sheer fact of knowing that ‘We don’t have much money’ became a very bitter phase of my life to go through, wherein I simply desired to  have the nightmare be over, go back to our ‘happy go round’ lives of having money – at least enough to be ‘happy’ – and that was it. However, it was quite a road out  of that huge bump on the road wherein I then became that same instability and inferiority that I cultivated due to not having had enough money at that time to satisfy my desires imprinted and acquired mostly by the media, by wanting to have what my friends had (see 201. Friends of Convenience: for a little piece of Heaven) and as such, believing that I was certainly ‘less than them’ due to not having as much money as they did.

 

When and as I see myself defining who I am according to the amount of money that I have or I don’t have, and creating a negative experience/ positive experience for either occasion, I stop and I breathe. I realize that money should only be a means to Live and have the necessary to have a dignified living – and this means, becoming part of the solution through my own living self-agreement and consideration of supporting myself as life and others equally to step out of the selfish-act of survivalism as the actual point of mind control it represents

 

I commit myself to expose how we can all in fact assist and support each other to establish a world system that can be implemented by the sheer realization that who we are as life is and has always been Here, and that it is the human aspect that has become the very weapon of mass destruction as the imposition of a system that functions upon the abuse of life.

 

I commit myself for Life to stop this carnage, the strain, the worry and constant threat of having no money the next day to live, as I see and realize that the experience of each other is invariably creating the reality that we All Live in. It is impossible to ignore this.

Support the Equal Money System 

Stand up for Life

—- it is not over yet.

 

 

Desteni

Desteni Forum

Desteni I Process

Desteni Lite Process 

 

 

I ate myself while trying to be Happy (2012)

Listen:

A Silver Mt. Zion – Hang on to Each Other

 

Watch:

2012 Suicides due to Financial Strain: Solution

 

Read:

 

Hear:


157. Wishing Well as Self Interest

Prayer as the Good doer character.

And the word in relation to ‘Good’ and ‘doing good’ is impair. And the first memory that popped up was how from the first day of school, we – my mother, my sisters and I, would pray ‘Our Father’ on our way to school which was the one and only daily approach I had toward the particular idea of ‘god’ as ‘our father.’ What’s peculiar about this is that we would add a few more verses wherein we would specially thank ‘god’ for taking care of ourselves and giving us food to eat – and the very last line was something along the lines of ‘and we specially ask you to take care of fill in the blank with impaired person/ problematic situation’ and this was usually the ‘awareness’ point of the day with regards to for example, some family member that was sick or having financial difficulties, mostly health problems and at the very end: ‘and for the children that have nothing to eat.’ And this is quite shocking now that I see it, how after thanking and praying/ honoring this almighty force at the very end we would pray for poor people, sick people, starving children = the impaired ones. And the feeling that I remember of this was a constant ‘ingrained’ sadness whenever we would remember about ‘the impaired ones’ in our prayers, while seeing such reality on the streets and once again, me just sitting comfortably next to my mother on her car and having a ‘cool life’ while believing that I was somehow a Good person because ‘Hey, at least I pray every day for Everyone’s well being, including those that have no money and no bread to eat every day.’

And within this, I can see the conflict toward poor people as a negative experience within me toward them – meaning experiencing sadness, sorrow and powerlessness – yet, I would also create an experience of compassion as a way to pretend that I care, but as we know: feeling bad, sorry and praying for ‘poor people’ changes nothing at all in this world. It in fact only exists as a ‘good-doer’ personality wherein we believe that we are somehow reaching ‘god’ through giving a shout out for people that have no money to live well, instead of ever pondering how it is that such people are deliberately left to starve or live on the streets and even worse, they have become part of the statistics that measure the economical development of a country.

 

Yes, I was probably only 4-5 years old when this routine began and probably ended when I was probably 11 or so. It was ‘the’  prayer, the only prayer we would do as that was given by Jesus and not the rest of the ‘blatant liars’ that  I was taught the church as institution was. So, I’d probably have to walk my relationship to Jesus at some point, and all the absolute draining experiences I would get whenever the ‘holy week’ would come and all these movies about his life simply saddened me a lot, while at the same time astonishing me in a way that was quite peculiar to relate to.  I guess that the relationship toward ‘those that killed Jesus’ as evil was realized in such movies, to what extent humans could be so vile to do all of that, and at that age one cannot really ‘fathom’ the whole thing – and it is certainly only now that we realize how we have ALL been the ones that crucified Jesus as the representation of the physical being nailed by the mind that drains the physical to live. A shocking story? Yes, more than any horror movie flick, really, because we’ve lived this/ embodied this without ever even been able to see/ realize or understand how we have always been silently killing us ‘softly’.

 

how such prayers can actually be conducted in a way wherein it becomes like a broken record, even though I used to imprint what I mimicked from my parents as  ‘faith and devotion’ toward that moment of the day which was ‘solemn’ in all ways – it was just 2 minutes of our day dedicated to ‘god,’ and that was the closest I got to religion throughout childhood, at least the catholic one – teenage years, another story as I went into a Jesuit school where the ‘good doer’ character will be very interesting to walk now that I see. For now, let’s walk the initial imprint of prayer as ‘doing good.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that praying as in saying words to wish for another’s ‘well being’ was in fact doing something ‘good’ to them, instead of realizing how within praying I was only creating a positive experience in relation to ‘thinking of others’ which is precisely what prayer is, just thinking, wishing and hoping for something or someone to ‘fix the problem’ toward and for those that we ‘include in our prayers,’ without ever questioning why it is that if there was ‘benevolent god,’ there was no ability to create solutions for those ‘in need’/ impaired ones, instead of having to be speaking out loud pleads to a non visible entity to do it for them.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that ‘I was closer to god/ heaven and ultimately a ‘good kid’ because of taking 2 minutes of our day to ‘pray for the well being of everyone’ including our family members, people that starve and have no money to live, without ever actually questioning why it is that we only care about ‘our family’ and why it is that the poor/ starving/ abused ones have no solution provided by ourselves as society, and instead only deviate the point to a non-existent/ invisible force to apparently do it for us.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to actually believe that I was in fact a ‘good person’ because of praying, without ever realizing or even considering how manipulative it is to create an experience of benevolence at the expense of those that in fact suffer and are in pain, with no money/ no support, no care from anyone within the same society wherein a vast majority would rather pray like me, and learn how to ‘ask god’ to solve the problems instead of seeing the common sense of how it is possible for us to exist within this comfortable blindfold of prayer without seeing any result from it at all.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever feel that I was a ‘good kid’ when becoming sad or feel ‘powerless’ about people that had no money, wherein I believed then that it was ‘a gift from god’ the fact that I was able to have a family, food, school, and essentially money from my parents to live, without ever really questioning the point further and taking parental answers as ‘truth’ to ‘make sense’ of the world, wherein I believed that people with ‘bad luck/ bad life’ were in fact ‘paying’ some sort of sin/ wrong doings in their life, which is how I accepted the law of karma as a way to justify poverty, abuse and ‘all the evil’ in the world in separation of myself, while proudly and modestly believing/ inferring that ‘I’ then was a ‘good person’ and had been a good person in past lives because I was having a good life in this life.

And it’s even the belief in past lives having an actual ‘weight/ meaning’ upon who I am today, which was also part of the belief system of spiritualism which I was more familiar with/ accepted more as a ‘truth’ due to familial relationships and acquiring such belief as ‘THE Truth’ as opposed to catholic church and any other belief that would indicate that I had to feel ‘guilty’ for my sins. I instead would embrace this ‘benevolence’ when/while ‘dedicating’ some time of my day to pray for those that have no money.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to pray as a credit/ credo/ belief added to myself in order to accumulate ‘benevolent points’ so that I could possibly get to a ‘heaven’ in the afterlife and then, possibly get a ‘better life experience in my next life,’ which is basically me acting in absolute self interest to only pray for ‘those in need’ in order to make myself feel good, feel like ‘I care’ and within that, feel good at the expense of those that actually suffer and that till this day, we hold the absolute responsibility to create a world system that is in fact able to Respond to their needs as a living right that must be given at birth, to support all beings equally as one – and this is not only a word-principle, but must begin within myself, to equalize myself as the life that I thought I could only ‘ask’ / pray or ‘wish good’ for instead of realizing that life is a physical aspect of living wherein no thought, no positive thinking, no ‘good wishing’ can in fact change the current situation of neglect, abuse and sorrow that is lived in the flesh of everyone in this world that is currently bound to money to life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, within this belief o doing good through praying/ wishing well to others, create a fluffy nice positive experience after the immediate shame/ guilt/ compassion would come when realizing that there were beings that had no food to eat, no school to go to, no parents, no house, no water and as such, thinking and accepting the belief that ‘god’ would somehow support them and take them out of the misery, which is a crime against life to abdicate our responsibility toward the impaired beings in society through believing that ‘they will be supported by a god, and somehow their problems would be fixed, without ever actually understanding, investigating or realizing how it is our responsibility as humans as co-creators of this world to ensure that all beings are supported, as there will be no need to pray for a god to save that which is physically here and able to be supported within a system that ensures All beings are equally supported, as the actual message of Jesus and Equality that has been crucified for so long in fact.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to never ask why it is that I was able to be comfortably praying and asking things to a god for those in need and what it is that made me different to them and that prevented them/ the impaired ones from having my comfort, my position, my money/parents to live as I do and instead, blindly accepted the belief that I simply had to ‘do good/ wish them well’ and the problem would be apparently sorted out.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to see prayer as something solemn and of great respect, without realizing how the entire prayer was a plea of self interest to only care for me/ my loved ones, that which ‘I care’ and that which ‘I am aware of,’ while wearing a suit of being a ‘good girl that cares for others,’ while in fact my actions, words and deeds throughout the day were of competition, rivalry, spitefulness and blatant self interest to always win no matter what, which are the behavioral patterns that are simply placed aside whenever wearing the ‘good doer’ personality. And within this also shoving aside the awareness of what I was doing in fact, as I became pretty aware of me being ‘double headed’ in terms of believing myself to be good and then seeing the absolute opposite existent within me, but somehow accept it because : everyone else was doing the same, and so I stopped questioning my own ‘two-faced value’ and neglected the reality that is here as myself, in every moment throughout my entire days.

 

I commit myself to Stop within me any sensation of ‘feeling good’ and even creating an entire benevolent character of myself whenever I see myself supporting someone o something to get done, as I realize that it is effective to at all times see these points as my responsibility, my self-commitment to life as one and equal, instead of doing it ‘for someone/ something’ in separation of myself.

 

I commit myself to see where and how even now, even if there are no more prayers or beliefs in some ‘outer source,’ the belief of doing good has become a ‘positive experience’ within me whenever I am looking for/ after my self interest instead of realizing that all that I do and that I don’t do has an effect and consequence for the whole to which I am equally a part of – hence, self responsibility implies no more creating experiences at a mind level within the ‘good doer’ character that only cares about its own ‘goodness’ and ‘inner peace’ while the world is in chaos, created by ourselves.

 

I commit myself to establish the Equal Money System as the commitment to live, work and do what we all were supposed to have done, been and lived by which is the law of Life in Equality in all ways, wherein there will be obviously no way to ‘gain points’ of ‘good doing’ through praying, there will be no positive experiences done from giving money/ charity to the impaired ones, there will be no need to hope and wish for something/ some benevolent force to solve the problems of the world as we will ensure that WE take responsibility for such problems in the world system, because we have accepted them, we have allowed them and as such, it is impossible now to turn a blind eye and pretend that thinking positive/praying/ asking the universe for things can in any way give food, water, shelter, clothes, education to those that have non.

 

this will continue…

 

Desteni 

Desteni Forum

Desteni I Process 

 

 

 

Blogs:

 

Interviews:


%d bloggers like this: