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252. Self Forgiveness on UnWholeliness

Continuing from:

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to live and align myself to the Law of the Physical that Governs who we are/ what we are as a complete, perfect awareness as Law and instead, having followed through with laws that have been created by/ through the mind that does not have any regard for the physical, but only use it as a resource for its own functioning and survival, which is how and why we have led us to the current problem in this world/ reality, because we have followed the mind-made laws instead of having observed the physical and aligned ourselves to it/ as part of it, as an equal-system of perfect symbiotic relationships.

Nature and Symbiosis

When left to operate naturally, the plant and animal world exist in a symbiotic relationship with each other. Symbiosis is, in essence, a giving and receiving – a form of value exchange. When all parts of nature are allowed to exist in a symbiotic way – they together exist as a massive and complex life-support system, which human beings are meant to be a part of.

A profit-driven system has altered how we view and participate in nature, where we have started to take more than we require and virtually stopped giving back, hereby disrupting the balancing effect nature requires in order to be able to perform its function as a symbiotic life-support system.

source: equalmoney.org

Text quoted in Bernard Poolman’s blog Creation’s Journey To Life  Day 252*

“The Law of the Physical that Governs the Physical – is Complete, Perfect, Awareness as Law. Thus, it Functions Equally for All in Every Way. Originally the Earth was a Planet of Sound, which means: Wholeness, which Inherently Existed as All the Laws of Wholeness.”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard the laws of the physical out of ignorance, wherein I adopted the way of conceiving laws and regulations based on self interest, based on a monetary system that hasn’t functioned at the best interest of all – disregarding the basic functions that have enabled fauna and flora and this entire ecosystem as the Earth to continue existing, which is the ability to freely get/ obtain the resources that are required to live, and that it is us as human beings that have violated such rules in the name of personal gain and self interest as greed, which means we violated the laws of the physical and as such, are facing the consequences of having denied equal access to all our equals in this world to have a dignified living condition.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow through with what was placed as ‘advancements’ and ‘progress’ in our reality, wherein I accepted things as ‘they are’ and believed that there was people behind such decisions ensuring they would be best for all and taking care they would not cause damage/ harm, without realizing that the moment that we created profit/ gain as a form of superiority above other living forms, we created the greatest violation to the physical laws, which is the violation of what is Here, regardless of any mind thinking about it.

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to ponder the mind as a greater form of intelligence over any other life form, without realizing that the Mind’s basic functioning is to precisely regard itself as ‘more’ than any other species, which is one of the violations of the Law of the Physical that implies all life forms, all bodies of existence should be equally regarded as Life and embodying such living right in a giving and receiving symbiotic relationship as part of the same organism.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to through existing as a mind consciousness system, exist only as self interest that I have believed is who I am and as such, surpassing the law of my being that is Equality and Oneness and only gave head and regard to the thoughts, feelings, emotions, internal conversations as myself, as what is the reality of myself while the world can function without a single being having to think about the world in itself.

 

“With the Introduction of the Mind to Exploit Disharmony for Self-Interest, Wholeness Constituted the Laws necessary to Return it to Harmony Inevitably.
Awareness as Wholeness do not Direct, as it Is the Directive Principle through which Those that Live, Equal and One as the Law of Wholeness – would Constitute an Equal and One Reality that will be Harmonious. And Those, that Function in Separation to the Law of Wholeness, which is the Law of Physics – would then Wholly become the Manifestation of their Unholiness, Equal and One.”

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard and impose a mind’s desires, wants and needs upon the Directive Principle of the whole, which invariably leads to disharmony as the harm that we have created through the creation of money as the weapon of abuse  – without realizing that now that we are aware of the source of all our disease/ problems, we have also the key to solve the problems, create solutions and embody such solutions as my directive principle that must be reinstalled as my ability to discern at all times that which is best for all and live it, become it – Within this

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever serve the god of the mind as energy, as the abuse of the physical in itself, which is everything that I have defined as my personality and individual configuration that exists ‘different’ to everyone else apparently, without realizing that in such differentiation and individuality, we stopped working and functioning as a collective and became separated through all forms of ideology, dogma, religions, politics, personalities, races and languages as a form to remain divided and only looking after those that are ‘similar’ to us, surpassing the basic fundamental equality that we all exist as, which is our physical body that we all have and exists in an equal and one manner.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that the inherent Evil as human nature, as the reverse of life that the mind represents, is the source of the current consequences that we are facing as humanity, wherein our un-wholeliness as the separation we’ve accepted and allowed ourselves to exist as, is leading us/ we are leading ourselves to a point of potential annihilation due to having ignored the Law of the Physical as the perfection of equality and oneness – and instead, dared to create perfection standards that can only function within the mind’s drive for perfection for its own benefit individually, but never collectively.

 

I realize that the ‘battle’ we embody as our own physical body with the mind system and all its parts and platforms, represents the ultimate challenge wherein we are having to tame the individual energetic forces that would only seek for individual self interest and instead, deliberately become/ embody the Law of the Physical in all ways as an actual living form – this implies that the process I’m walking is the deliberate decision to be and become a living form that is able to coexist with other living forms as equals – and that, must be taken to a practical living system that must be man made in order to ensure we all abide to this Law of the Physical and never again experience the need to abuse within a mental disorder that leads us to want to be ‘more’ than others’ through abusing the physical for our individual self interest/ benefit.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to violate the laws of the physical in the name of my own self interest, due to a con-formism according to what I would see in reality, and within that, accept my condition of abuser and accepting and allowing to see such abuse as progress, as success and ‘superior’ to other life forms.

 

Inevitably, thus – the Disharmony would Cancel itself Out and the Physical will Return to Harmony. Therefore the Physical do not Act as a Teacher. But Those that Function – using or abusing the Laws: May Learn from it and Change Themselves. Or End-Up in the Chains they Created themselves. It is thus Perfection as a Teacher-Environment. And thus Produce Either Complete, Perfect, Awareness – or Eradicate whatever Cause Disharmony. Within this, Time is Irrelevant.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that the purpose of Life is to learn how to Live in Equality/ coexisting with all other life forms and as such, this implies seeing the current ignorance we have all lived as and determine myself to become part of the solution and practically and physically embody that living change from living only as a mind of self interest and greed, to a physical living form that coexists with all other living forms in actual harmony.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to actually honor the ability to be alive and become aware of what we’ve become and have the tools and solutions to change what we have become, which is then be able to decide to live the decision to become a living-physical form that coexists with all others as equals, sharing responsibilities and also being able to receive in equality, as this is what is the actual gift of life, being able to coexist in perfect harmony with all other life forms as equals.

 

 

Thus, Realise the Gift of Physical Awareness – so that you may Become Aware. Or by your Own Hand, through Abusing the Laws of Perfection – you Will Exterminate Yourself.

 

I forgive myself that I hadn’t accepted and allowed myself to realize the gift of Physical Awareness and had deemed it as a curse, which is only me as the mind being deliberately placing ignorance as bliss instead of recognizing our physical awareness as the ability to recognize ourselves and as such decide to live according to the perfect ways in which we can coexist if we all come to the realization that it is only in Equality that we can thrive as species that are part of a greater ecosystem that must not be abused for the sake of our personal endeavors as humanity thriving in self interest, but learn how to implement rules and regulations that ensure life is lived according to the Law of the Physical.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to fully realize the extent of abuse that we’ve imposed the sheer moment that we continue living as individual mind-sets seeking any form of self interest whenever we only care about ourselves as individuals and disregard all living life forms that are equally here and being disregarded in the name of the mind’s self interest as who and what we all have accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become.

 

I commit myself to align my life, my being and the entirety of who I am to the Law of the Physical, which is ensuring that everything that I use my body/ mind/ voice for is to act, do, speak in the name of what is best for all, and that anything less from this is certainly only abuse, which I commit myself to point out and direct every time that it is here as part of my awareness, and that is how awareness becomes the living-tool in order to realize, see and understand how we have gotten ourselves to this point, how to correct every single point of neglect, abuse, separation and as such, live the principle of self-responsibility as myself, as I realize that I cannot ignore the awareness of what is here and the immediate necessity to align myself to the directive principle of the Physical here.

 

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217. You Fear Communism? Why would That Be?

The Nature of the Happy Nation

It’s interesting to see how the moment that Equality is linked to being ‘one more of the heap’ and the opposite to being special, unique, outstanding, original, genuine, one of a kind human being – which is the type of brainwashing used during the last half of the 20th Century – Equality became linked to the then ‘Devil’ that functioned through/as what was considered the opposite back then, which was Communism.  The basic equation that must be read here is not along the lines of USA vs. USSR – but a Living Right that should be given to all beings by virtue of being on this Earth being Sold and Bought instead of readily given, and the example of that can be found anywhere in our current society wherein one could be close to dying in a hospital and, if you have no funds = there will be no support given to you, sorry.

 

This is what we’ve accepted and allowed when it was agreed that life should be sold/ commercialized and even more so, stratified to a series of values that only a Few can actually obtain without any hassle. What about the rest? Oh well, you got your jobs and slave labor, ‘do your best’ and waddle your way through the staircase to success/heaven, never pondering the abuse that was taking place in such ‘heavens’ like actual vampires sucking out the life blood of the rest of the people that are, till this day, being suck dry to dead for not having enough money, even though their sweat and tears are shed every single day for all the worry and concern and desperation of not having the ability to feed children. What about those in warzone today? Can we even imagine the haunting experience of being ready to die in any given moment?

 

Guess what? This reality is not separate from ourselves, at some level we are all aware of everything that is going on here. That’s why no matter how much money you have you are still Owned by it, you still fear to lose it all. And there might be those that don’t really fear at all, however it is not like there is a way to escape consequence, not anymore – father heaven is no longer running the scene (Read the entry to Heaven in the Destonian wiki)

 

Democracy became then a consumer-like sellable product of words that would support that which makes the ‘world go round’ which is, capitalism as our current world system.

You can investigate this for yourself, watch:

Learn about Edward Bernays as the father of selling happiness to Americans while instilling one of the greatest brainwashing mechanisms in our modern era – besides the long-time god belief:
“Bernays used the “Freudian Theory” to deal with the public’s conception of communism, as he believed that we should not be easing the public’s fear of communism, but rather promote that fear and play with the public’s emotions of it. This theory in its own was so powerful that it became a weapon of its own during the cold war.”

n Propaganda (1928), Bernays argued that the In In Propaganda (1928), Bernays argued that the manipulation of public opinion was a necessary part of democracy:

The conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organized habits and opinions of the masses is an important element in democratic society. Those who manipulate this unseen mechanism of society constitute an invisible government which is the true ruling power of our country. …We are governed, our minds are molded, our tastes formed, our ideas suggested, largely by men we have never heard of. This is a logical result of the way in which our democratic society is organized. Vast numbers of human beings must cooperate in this manner if they are to live together as a smoothly functioning society. …In almost every act of our daily lives, whether in the sphere of politics or business, in our social conduct or our ethical thinking, we are dominated by the relatively small number of persons…who understand the mental processes and social patterns of the masses. It is they who pull the wires which control the public mind
 
Wiki entry on Edward Bernays
 

And so everyone learned to aim for Individuality, specialness, uniqueness, which could only be ‘obtained’ through Buying your Happiness.

Now this is a short introduction to understand then WHY I was conditioned to see Communism as a threat, the words, people that I linked to the word, the regard I held for most of my life toward it – however it is important to see how it could have been ‘communism’ or any other regime that would mean a threat to the values and lifestyle – yes when life became a ‘style’ – that the American Empire would promote, I may sound like a grandpa saying ‘American Empire’  but that’s what it was. I will then share about how through music I learned to then evade all things politics or listen to music that would demonstrate such evasion for a while to submerge myself in the world of the intangible, which is how now I understand, everyone  that at some point had an intention to ‘do something’ to change this world would end up in: dropping out, being isolated and resorting to drugs, alcohol, poetry or mere suicidal tendencies. Quite a shame, specially when you get to know people and their potential that It’s just HERE however, money becomes the main obstacle all the fucking time for them to develop themselves, learn further, suit themselves with the necessary equipment/ tools to do that which is certainly not only ‘entertainment,’ but bright ideas that we can actually place on march when Money is no longer a kick in the ass more than a living tool to exist – for that visit the Equal Money System website, vote for our goals – it’s time to Stop as I’ve seen and realized what we can do if we all stand up to our max capacity and Will ourselves to Live.

 

 

The Revolutionary Character:

 

Self Forgiveness on ‘Red Fears’ and Capitalist Propaganda

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to take words as knowledge and information as ‘truth’ of reality when it came to forming a perspective, opinion and view upon the world, without further investigation and within this, forming/shaping/ molding ‘who I am’ toward reality/ this world based Only on that which I had understood/ learned as knowledge and information that in no way represented the reality of what is here, as all history, knowledge and information is mostly told only from a certain perspective that will benefit the ‘story/history teller’ – and in this,

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to miss out any form of common sense development through only taking knowledge and information that I acquired from others – without any form of proof or further investigation – and in this, created an entire character based on fearing that which apparently ‘threatened’ our stability and ‘happiness,’ which is what I came to believe that Communism represented.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to link the word communism to mediocrity and revolting people, as that is what I got from what I would hear/ listen/ see within the news wherein I didn’t even bother to ask what was the real conflict that lead to seeing Communism as ‘the devil,’ and If I did ask – which I can’t remember – the general idea was that Communists were trying to make the whole world communist, which is the great fat lie that I accepted and allowed to believe, which all came from the perspective of the history being told according to what our northern neighbors – United States of America – were promoting as a belief about Socialism/ Communism in order to justify wars against those whose who represented a threat to the actual imperialism that Capitalism has become over the third world.


 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to generate a sense of rejection toward anything that sounded like ‘giving to all equally’ because of imprinting these images of what in my imagination I had pictured poverty in Russia to be like, wherein the story of people coming from Russia in order to escape poverty became my own ‘reality reference’ to what I believe was ‘Communism,’ and such immediately linking it to a bad thing, without realizing that such people were actually escaping from the downfall of a debunked attempt to establish an actual communism, which has not really existed in the ideal terms of what it would in fact mean to consider all beings as equal.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that one would be Less Free if one would not be able to buy and consume all of that which I have linked ‘power’ and ‘freedom’ to, which is essentially the ability to BUY and Consume things from the capitalist world, and forming the idea of how ‘poor’ and ‘limited’ people were in socialist countries or even in the Eastern Germany, which was also part of my tangible example of how people had apparently suffered through that time and that everyone essentially was asking and pleading for Capitalism, which is nothing else but the result of Capitalism being linked to a sense of Happiness, Joy, Freedom, Liberty and most importantly Democracy through a propagandistic apparatus that we are living in till this day, wherein there is a general conception of having Free Choice and Free Will to buy and consume and experience all the good things in life when you have money – hence promoting the desire for money as the equation of ‘good life’ that in no way stands within an actual meaning of what ‘good life’ would be like, which certainly cannot continue be equated to consuming the most you can, buying products that you don’t need, buying items for the same of the value they represent in a social hierarchy, accumulating wealth as a means of protection, buying properties that you won’t live in and the list goes on, which is widely promoted as lifestyles to ‘seek to attain’ in our current reality through people that we have deemed as ‘rich and famous’ – which is nothing else but adoring and praising the very key-people that are keeping this entire world system of enslavement in place – hence all of this representing everything that communism/ egalitarian societies are Not. Therefore

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not see how communism in itself or any form of Equality Consideration of Life was a dynamite to the emerging mind control of linking happiness, well being to Money and the desire for money in itself, being the main driving force that would be adopted by people in order to submit to any form of job, task or activity in order to ‘get the most money’ and within this linking wealth/ power to money to ‘living,’ without ever pondering why such well being wasn’t readily given to all, which is where I accepted and allowed myself to believe that Life is a struggle and that we had to Suffer in order to ‘gain the daily bread’ – nothing else but absolute brainwashing made laws and our current basis of the capitalist world wherein we are able to leave people to starve, die of medical negligence, die of curable diseases, die for not being able to pay their bills and the list goes on, which should be regarded as a massive crime against life, however, we had not taken responsibility for ourselves and in this, we have merely complied to be soldiers that maintain and protect an abusive system that does not regard life, which is Capitalism, simply because of having linked money, wealth, power, products to buy to a sense of happiness, fulfillment, freedom, which are feelings that are generated at a mind level and that do not represent at all who we are as physical beings that exist as constancy and consistency of breath here.

 

Within this all, I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear somehow questioning all the abuse that was being accepted and allowed in this world just because of not wanting to then be labeled communist or a ‘revolting person’ even though I ended up gaining a reputation of sorts as being rebellious-anti system which became a character that I wore ‘proudly’ without even realizing how within my emerging opposition to the world system, I was more going to perpetuate my life being angry, mad at the system and ostracizing myself further into my own ‘realm of the non tangible,’ denying nay form of responsibility, which is precisely where I was headed toward if I had not been involved in Desteni quite timely in my life some 5 years ago.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that all of this information stigmatizing Communism, Socialism, Equality was based on maintaining the current world system we’re living in as a majority that believes that one must struggle in order to live – and in this, creating a general fear to stand up due to having learned of revolutions and movements just ending up with people in jail, killed, abducted, high jacked, murdered mercilessly which became a series of ‘warnings’ that I should not ever attempt to confront the system – within this

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hear the word communist linked to being revolutionary due to the various icons and people that I learned were linked to communism and that somehow I regarded as heroic people, however little did I understand how the system works and how any form of open opposition would only light fires and further problems, instead of simply proposing a solution at a political level wherein All beings can be equally supported. This means that my idea, belief and perception of Revolution/ Rebellion had to do with opposing the system without understanding it, just asking for ‘change’ but not knowing how to do it – and at the same time, fearing being labeled as ‘communist’ for the pejorative aspect I had linked to such word, wherein I still didn’t want to end up poor or being given ‘the same to eat every day’ which were common misconceptions and ideas around communist countries that I came to believe were truth and had no further context to it but that, just knowledge and information that I simply feared ending up living in, not seeing the greater picture of for example, the lives of the absolutely poor people that are the direct result of only a fraction of the world embracing Capitalism and exploiting vast majorities to Sustain such ‘Capitalist Dream = American Dream’ at the expense of those that were left in positions of great disparity – mostly in the so called ‘third world’ – which are quite present till this day in our day to day living when reading where our clothes and gadgets were built in.  (Read: 115. Following our Dreams is Plain Delusional an 116. Dreams of Perfect Lives as Mind Control)

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to acquire the common belief of money = satisfaction, joy, security, protection, well being for myself and ‘those around me’ wherein I then believed that this was ‘my perspective’ and ‘my decision’ to support a system wherein one can buy all you want as a means of happiness and fulfillment – this becoming then the basis to form my character as the Revolutionary Elitist wherein Yes I would see poverty and lack for many beings, I wanted “Change” but I was not entirely willing to give up my own pursuit of happiness, which is then revealing how once again, the intentions to change were not absolute as I was not willing to let go of my personal aims and future projections based on having an elitist position in this world Based On this idea of ‘change’ and ‘revolution.’

 

You can read this process here:

 

And so, I see and realize that I used communism as a boogie man in my mind just by following public opinion, by following what I would hear parents speak about and probably on the news and people that had suffered poverty conditions in Russia as the result of a downfall within the socialist scheme, which is then a point to consider in how it actually came to  a downfall and what intervened in that process, which points out in common sense that any form of egalitarianism promoted as a world system, meant a threat to world-systems based on hierarchical structures – which is then the easiest way to understand why we were taught in schools to see the Soviet Union as a living condition that we had to avoid at all cost, having little context of how it came to be, why it didn’t flourish to an absolute success if the principle was apparently aiming at equality. This thus brings the questions: how is it that we have come to Equate a word like Equality to Evil, Equality to ‘Lack’, Equality to Loss of ‘Good Living Standards’ without questioning first how we came to link everything that is good, well, nice, excellent, special and unique to all things that represent the most money/ power as a symbol of success.

 

I realize within this that Communism is just another counteract to Capitalism the way that it is currently conceived and its reality outflows till this day because, it didn’t consider an absolute reform of the monetary system but only remained as a series of political considerations that would ostracize certain countries from the rest of the world, creating a ‘battle’ due to money still meaning a point of power over life. This is how corruption still brewed in communist societies/ countries/ regimes as the problem we have to look at is not only reforming the system but the nature of the human being. And that, my fellow droogs, is not able to be implemented through opposition or wars, but Education.

 

Why has no one realized the actual power to create a new human being resides in Education? That is what actually shapes/ molds and forms who you are going to be and what you are going to value as Life as Reality and what you are going to oppose and refrain from participating in – this is how at Desteni we are educating ourselves to see beyond the veils of human history through capitalism and communism alike, as both were only sides of the same coin, used to justify wars and further rivalry that lead the world nowhere but to where we are now, more embellished with nonsensical desires for happiness and fearing to give to each other what we would want for ourselves – isn’t that the definition of Evil?

 

This will continue with Self Corrective Statements and Self Commitments to finally understand where we Stand within the Equality consideration as the Equal Money System and finally stop fearing giving to each other what you would want for yourself, placing common sense that can be acquired, lived and applied by each individual to stop revolting against the system, and instead understand it and act within Self Responsibility to be part of the change in this world that will Not come through Revolution, but through individuals that Stand up for Life in Equality, until it is done.

 

 

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Anu explains the Hierarchy of his Race which then brings up the point to ponder here: you are the image and likeness of your creator, find out the fascinating considerations one regards as ‘Elitist’/More than and why we are immediately submerged into this Self-Belief of having to Be the Best of the pack.


214. Creating Awareness is Not Enough–LIVING As It is

 

Understanding Reality is the key to then see how it is futile to victimize oneself within this world and then seek to revolt/ escape and judge the system, without realizing that it is OUR Responsibility at all times to be the solution – not just use knowledge and information to create ‘awareness’ without being the living example of what it is that Standing up for Equality actually means as a Self-Directive Process that we walk in order to realize, see and understand our very own participation within the world system that we have judged and criticized up to now.

Self Interest Complicates Everything in this world. Look at the problems today, they are not imposed by only one man or one single ideology, religion or group – the problem in this world is the sum total of individual survivalism created as an image and likeness of a mind as consciousness that could never ensure its survival without creating deliberate conflict and friction to get some energy and continue existing. This single aspect is imprinted in our very Atoms in our physical body and As the nature of Existence as a Whole, being unaware of this physical and mind aspect of who we are is the negligence and ignorance we have accepted and allowed the moment that we abdicated our own responsibility to ourselves by allowing us to be reduced to being a single automatized and systematized existence of emotions, feelings, thoughts that will always seek for one’s personal benefit, as ‘happiness’ and the most social recognition one can get in one way or another – this is the pattern I walk and take responsibility for.

I direct my self-interest and powerlessness act of ‘revolutionary’ and stream it here as breath to take responsibility for all that I ever sought to be and become in separation of the best interest of all and instead, live it as a genuine act of understanding how it is only in Equality that Life can thrive in this world for all.

Revolutionary –Elitist Character – Self Corrective Statements

 

Continuation of the Elite Character

The Revolutionary Character:

 

I commit myself to live the realization that we should not require suffering or any other situation of abuse to have a reason to stand up for Life in Equality. I realize that the reason why I chose to stand up entailed a form of self interest that wasn’t entirely Self Honest. Thus, I direct myself to confirm my standing up for Life in Equality as what’s Best for All from the realization of this entire world being our Responsibility and it can only be and become the world I dreamed of – where everyone gets along and is living ‘happily’ – if we commit ourselves to create it, and this is through Education. Therefore, I commit myself to be the example of what it is to Stand up for Life as a Living Principle, not motivated by external desires of attaining something/ someone outside of myself, but as the point of Self Support and Self Assistance that adds up to more people that is willing to do the same and as such, realize that the ability to establish a world system that is Livable depends on each one of us, not in some government or politician’s decision. We Are It.

 

I commit myself to realize that the responsibility we all hold toward this world system is equal and in that, all our words, thoughts and deeds are essential to align to a best for all outcome in all ways, as that is what I see and realize creates the totality of this world system and within that, it is not about opposing the government and asking It for a ‘Change’ but we take such Change in our hands and act upon it.

 

I commit myself to not participate in emotions when hearing the news about the world and become sad or feel powerless about it. I rather stand up in the moment, take a deep breath and realize that I am aligning my life to be and become part of the solution and that diminishing myself to a victim of this world has never worked, not for us not for anyone protesting about the world conditions. We have to instead, establish, promote and create awareness about the solution that exists at an individual level As each one of us, standing together being the majority that is willing to stop the current mad world we’re living in.

 

I Commit myself to live my life being a living-example and promoter of what Life can be when one is Self Responsible and dedicate one’s life to promote a solution to an overall system reform that will benefit not only ‘me’ or those directly standing up for the solution but ALL beings equally, as that is the way it should have been from the beginning and so it will be and Must be by our direct intervention to create it, as I see and realize that what is the most required aspect at the moment is Education and that is what Desteni is all about, beginning with the Desteni Lite Process that is absolutely open for everyone that is willing to start facing oneself as our mind, as we have realized that it is the Individuals that make the system not the System that shapes the individuals only.

 

I commit myself to stop any form of criticism toward the system from the vantage point of getting an experience of victimization and as such superiority about it, I realize that when we are simply committing ourselves to establish a solution, the points that are flawed within this system can be addressed to show the problem and Then explain the solution and How to walk the solution, because I see and realize that there are far too many documentaries and videos, books and information about everything that is Wrong in this world, but few or only a minority get to the point of showing the solution and exemplifying how it can practically be sustainable and established. Thus

 

I commit myself to always place a solution to every single problem that I address as part of the information and education required in our world, to no longer feed the same ‘opposition personality’ that we have all become every time that we complain about ‘the world’ without proposing any solutions. The most viable solution is the implementation of the Equal Money System wherein people will be able to have the ‘survival-mode’ placed on a definitive Stop and as such, have enough time to work with ourselves, with our minds, to walk our individual processes of Standing up for Life and within that, realizing that it is only through our own decision to work with ourselves, taking Self Responsibility for ourselves to direct and align our lives within the principle of what is Best for All as equals, that we can understand the imperative requirement for each one of us to assist and support other beings to realize the same point for themselves as well: there won’t be any change coming from ‘the clouds’ or the government or a savior as a revolutionary in this world, it must come from each one of us living the words that we speak within the consideration of what is best for all, and within that, realizing that there won’t even be a need or requirement for a ‘leader’ to do this if we can all Will ourselves to Lead ourselves to a best for all outcome. This is what Real Democracy is all about: being the 1 Vote for Equality as one’s life/ living and self-corrected process to finally create an awareness that a world divided cannot ever be a Living World.

 

I commit myself to expose the reality of our media, our economy, our politics as mere obstacles to real solutions, because everything that is currently being massively promoted is only being so from the starting point of obtaining some form of benefit about it. This implies that our Self Movement toward a World in Equality cannot have the same motivations that lead to the same abuse and within this, I realize that there cannot be and exist a desire for change within Self Interest – as Change will imply in this context the eradication of all forms of abuse in any possible way.

 

I commit myself to continue educating myself about how this world functions to no longer aspire to get a position in the system wherein I ‘know it all’ form the desire to be a knowledgeable ego, as I see and realize that knowledge without application is utterly useless and that when one is being the living word, we don’t require to THINK about it, we just express what is Common Sense to the realization of what is best for all, and that is simplicity, never complexity.

 

I commit myself to continue establishing myself as my own starting point to move me within this process, wherein the matters of the world are not reduced to simple points I can ‘speak about’ but actually understand the reason and origin point of what caused it and within that, see and look at the solutions that will be required in the long run to support that aspect of the world. This is within the realization that it is part of our education to always see the problem and investigate and project the solutions – otherwise, we remain asking for ‘solutions’ toward government/ authorities, instead of realizing how we have created it ourselves and so, each one of us will be the solution to it as well.

 

I commit myself to watch the news from the starting point of looking at what is going on in this world, be informed about the reality that is HERE and not from the vantage point of already wanting to blame others as the government, parents or any other form of ‘authority’ that could be the culprit in my mind. I realize that everything that goes on in this world is our direct responsibility and that point does not envision or separate people according to hierarchies and Roles we all play in society – we are all equal and one within our consequential outflow of everything that we have accepted and allowed to exist within ourselves.

 

I commit myself to use all the knowledge and information that may be useful to expose a reality and see it only as that: data that is here represented in numbers and pictures that can be used to represent a reality that we have to all take  Self Responsibility for individually – thus it is not to seek to ‘make money’ out of knowledge and information or further manipulate for only a few people’s interests, but use what is here to show and expose our reality, while presenting a solution accordingly.

 

I commit myself to plan out/ project my life destined toward a position wherein I can support the most beings in this world as that is what I have vowed myself to be and become. A point that stands As the example as the walking-realization of what is possible to be and become once that we commit ourselves to Live in Equality. This means that all Selfish-Interest has no room in a Self-Interest that considers what is Best and Equal for All – Self being the totality of who and what we are as human beings, as this world and existence as a whole. That is what is required to be realized in order to understand that any form of opposition is only a war against Self.

 

I commit myself to use my abilities and skills toward a best for all outcome, wherein I ensure that whatever I do, say, speak stands in alignment to that which I realize is best for all in every single moment and movement. This implies that Breathing is the key to always slow myself down before making a decision of how to approach a situation, a particular piece of information, ensuring I am not only seeking to oppose/ expose without understanding as that is the actual key to stop all further division in this world – to expose the reality that has been accepted and allowed while directing it to an equality solution.

 

I commit myself to realize that there cannot be any ‘superiority’ or ‘inferiority’ position in society when establishing a world in Equality – thus any desire to ‘stand on top’ must be breathed out of myself and realizing that there are no ‘protagonists’ here that will end up in a superior position – it is about an equal and one leadership that we all have to take on wherein we can eventually realize that we do not Require to ‘push ourselves’ to do things by some form of authority/ control through fear, but that we can simply direct ourselves to do it within understanding.

 

I commit myself to walk in humbleness this process and to ensure that any inkling of egotistical desires to be or become ‘more’ than who and what I am are simply breathed out in every single moment they may pop up in my mind, as I see and realize that this is just part of the consciousness desires that I had participated in for my entire life – thus, I take responsibility for my creation as Myself as my own backchat and energetic experiential desires and within this, ensure that I stand always here as breath, realizing that what I really and and the only real power I exist as is in every moment that I have the ability to breathe – stand here and be a living example of the very process of equalizing oneself as Life, until it is done.

 

I commit myself to expose how the revolution begins within each one of us, educating ourselves, taking Self Responsibility and within this, ensuring that no matter how ‘bad’ things may get in reality, the solution will NEVER be to oppose the system or retaliate or fight against each other – but to Always present a solution, to Always speak, communicate and be the living example of the solutions that can exist when self interest is equalized for all in Common Sense and Self Responsibility, realizing that we have only created such problems and turmoil in society because of Self Interest, Greed and the desire to be ‘more’ than what we already are – this all part of the Education we must be directly sharing in order to step out of the mind control we’ve accepted and allowed individually, and within this, start seeing the reality that is here behind all survival fears and retaliation desires to ‘make a better world’ – It is only through education and informed decisions that will lead to an invariable best for all outcome that we can thrive in this world. And this is what Desteni and the Equal Money System are for.

 

www.equalmoney.org

 

Blogs that Must Be Read:

 

Basic Self Education:

212. Opposing the System= Act of Ignorance

     

    The Revolutionary Character

     

As we have walked our own life reviews as our own process, I realized that my immediate incorporation within Desteni had to do with agreeing on establishing a betterment for humanity in all ways. However, what I’ve heard in interviews on Eqafe is how most of us had seen ‘the evil’ in this world in one way or another, had experienced it ourselves which is why we decided to stand up for Life in Equality. I could not make much sense of that if I only took my life into consideration. I mean, yes as I mentioned in the last blog 211. Why is Life a Struggle? Why Can’t All be just HAPPY? there were times of financial distress at home, but it was never to the extent of actually having a tough life or going through any other form of suffering as many people do. So, what had I witnessed then in my reality that piled up to a desire for this world to change?  Being living in a third world country, seeing corruption everywhere, people cheating to get the most, that became quite an obvious point for me all the time to witness in my life, even from the time when I was a little girl and supposed to be informed about cartoons or stuff like that, I was already more interested in knowing what the hell could lead a person to suffer or have ‘problems in life’ if you will, more involved in adult talks than what I diminished as petty little childish games that most kids my age were into. I realize how I missed out on my childhood by wanting to ‘know about the world’ too fast, yet again it became a vital aspect within my life in order to form a certain criteria toward ‘who I am’ within this world-  obviously still limited to the confinement of my own TV set with news and information coming from it, and later on the information I got in my school about world economics and political systems with a great professor whom till this day, I would clone and give one to all people since most of the information that we are now watching in documentaries that ‘expose the truth’ was given to me by him, I guess I can say that ‘knowing the truth’ partly also lead me to see that there was something absolutely wrong going on wherein people were mostly unaware of the actual mechanisms that make this world go round.

So, my own reality check in this country – Mexico – seeing how the business world functioned, how our money had suddenly ‘lost three zeros’ and no one made a single comment other than ‘practicality purposes’ about it, being aware of endless protests, crime, shootings, robberies, assaults, kidnappings, drug trafficking and the list goes on and on, made me realize that there had to be a way to establish a solution in this world, and within that, I became a character for a while which was linked to ‘wanting change’ but mostly, being absolutely unaware of how me protesting against some governor’s pedophilia could make in any way a real change in the way he would govern the city.  I just tagged along with people that saw that as incorrect and followed through with endless talks about how ‘wrong’ the system was – as I have explained also in past blogs, all based in actual ignorance of how the system works, really.   And so I begin with explaining some of the most prominent points that come to mind today.

 

Red Fears

I remember my first approach and interaction with anything having to do with Communism while growing up. A friend of my mother had come from Russia – then USSR – to escape the poverty she was experiencing in her birthplace, my mother was her dentist and so I became aware of her being from another place due to her funny Spanish accent, I’m talking about me being probably 5 years old or so. My parents explained to me about Communism being this government-modality that was very detrimental for people’s lives, people were going poor really fast and so she had decided to come her to make a ‘better living’ condition for herself. I had the same approach with some other older lady that was also a friend of ours and she was from Chile, had come to Mexico as a refugee in the 80’s  – it was interesting seeing people escaping from their country for one or another reason. I didn’t question that, nor did I have much understanding about the world back then, but I do see that the communist reference became part of me integrating the so called red-fear from believing that: if communism is what the USSR was living in and people are wanting to escape their situation, then communism is no good.  Seems fair when it comes to logic and the information one is given about a subject, which most of the cases, we simply engulf as some sort of ‘informed decision’ with regards to what we agree or disagree in our world, little do we even ask if such information is valid in all contexts – hence the personalities built around acquired and almost inherited points of view/ opinions as the building blocks of our current division and separation in reality, missing out anything that is Real.

 

When growing up and being around 10 or so I knew that some artists here, which have become some form of Mexican icons like Frida Kahlo, Rivera and David Alfaro Siqueiros – whom I came to be very fond of while studying art – were supporters and militants of the Mexican Communist Party here. Siqueiros had been part of the military as well during the revolution – which is interesting how the people that came to be part of the military and later on became artists – Siqueiros and Beuys as a parallel point – supported new political systems that were based on a more ‘just society.’  Anyways, I realized that there was something really ‘controversial’ about the whole Communist word, not to mention that all the people that were supporters of socialism and communism in my environment were dubbed by my parents as mediocre – most of the times and other words on the same vein – simply because to them, Communism meant a rusty poor Cuba and an impoverished Russia.

 

I grew up then rather not wanting to ‘make up my mind’ about communism, and leaving it aside as something that I would somehow later on in life come to make an informed decision about. I kept a fair idea of how Marx’s communism was never implemented and all that was done was simply creating another form of control of society in very non-best-for-all ways. And that was it. Later on we begun having a lot of feedback about the Equal Money System being something linked to Communism. So obviously what must be understood here is how then Communism has been portrayed as the counter act, the ‘evil guy’ standing as the counteract toward Capitalism. What was mostly not known is how Communism had become a convenient boogie-man/ fear point to maintain people locked within the propagandistic idea that capitalism is Life, that capitalism is the best way for humanity and within that, using it as a bastion, a legion and a force that was imposed in several countries as another way of masking out colonialism in the name of ‘progress,’ which is what capitalism came to be defined as for the most part.

 

Corruption

When I became aware of the world system as in there being a president in our nation, one of the so-called most corrupted presidents in our ‘modern era’ was in office. I grew up having constant references to the NAFTA and solidarity, progress, under development, devaluation and later on crisis– all these words were constant imprints from the news, while always hearing adult talks and hearing their complains about the government, the corruption. Later on it was the Zapatistas making their armed movement in 1994 and I was only 7 years old when I had quite a formed picture of our country definitely not being alright, lots of poverty and uprisings around and something had to be done, also became aware of how a lot was being left unsaid on the TV as well.  I knew Revolution was also not the way since all those paintings I had seen from the revolution indicated lots of guns, people with blood, kids crying and certainly no change had come from that time – which was early 20th century here in México. Another reference then was that my father was in Mexico City studying when the 1968 student ‘revolution’ and demonstrations took place where thousands of them were killed mercilessly by the government, such an event is still remembered till this day. He would tell this story along the lines of how unnecessary it was to create such a problem in the first place. He ended up being in jail for two days just because of ‘being around there’ and having no direct participation in it. I vowed to then never take part of such acts as I feared I could get myself in such problem as well. And never did, for the most part.

 

Murdering those that dare to Stand Up

I became aware of the murder of a presidential candidate here in 1994, he was apparently murdered because of his attempt to make a real change in this country, which was obviously against his political party’s intention. That murder became an entire ‘mystery’ while most of the people actually knowing that it was an actual complot by his own party. A world so cruel, how could that be? Killing someone that was up for change? What?  – Yes, I was only 7 years old and I remember very well the entire story and it also marked me ‘for life,’ how this person aiming to be a president being killed during his political campaign, shot to the head. 

 

Going back to Siqueiros that stood up within a political Communist party to promote a change in this country, he ended up in jail and arrested several other times for openly attacking the president and generally opposing this entire system. Watching his paintings in the Palacio de Bellas Artes allowed me to see one thing: there was something really wrong going on and I wasn’t aware of it, because I had seen it as ‘history’ as something that is ‘long gone,’ little did I know that the same processes were pretty much still ‘alive’ within the entire configuration that this system is operating with and as. We might not be carrying bullets on our chests or wearing sombreros, however the essence of the social injustice is still here while having a major system of sugar-coating the abuse through entertainment/ media that has made of this world a silenced agony and destruction, covered up colors in bright HDMI screens and entertaining masses with iPhone upgrades where we have all have become just silent self-abusers in an abusive world. Well, why have we feared standing up? Due to our history, however what ‘type’ of standing up is it that we have come to fear? The one that has created an open opposition to the system. Little did we care to investigate that there is absolutely another way to walk in this world, be within the system and implement a change.

 

Crucified for Standing Up

The problem with all these revolutionaires was that: opposing the system, begin dissidents and that will obviously always only upgrade the system to silence any form of opposition that attempts against its own survival. Hence the way is not ‘giving the finger’ to the system, but being within the system.

The fears I see related to this are mostly related to seeing how people that became part of political parties that stood up for what was defined as communism were always threatened to death, ostracized and in the end, I see that fear can be latent when one is still Opposing the system. It is so common in this country nowadays to kill anyone that dares to speak more than the usual, however it is the same point: obviously people will try and silence that which reveals their corrupted ways of going through the system, that’s an obvious survival-mode tactic. However, if we stand as a group of people that propose simply another way and form of creating a new system within this world based on life in Equality, we can certainly see that there is no need to ‘oppose’ anyone, but just present an alternative of what is possible.

 

Fear is used as the greatest form of control so that any person considering ‘changing the system’ is immediately warned about the perils that such actions bring. Fear and warnings on this subject have been ‘conveniently’ placed and existent throughout our lives when learning about history and revolutions, just another form of control which is what revolutions have actually served for: a great warning to the population in the ways of ‘this is what happens to you when you dare stand up’ – little did the people participating in such revolutions know what their desires for change would end up being used as fear-propaganda for people to remain ‘calm and quiet’ where they are, going by within a system that certainly does not support life  yet fearing doing any move or proposal to change it, because of having this constant imprint of fear dying due to Standing up for what is best for all. However, were and are our current revolutions best for all? Are wars and opposition what is BEST FOR ALL? No, not at all. This is how and why the Equal Money System is the most Sane proposal that exists within our world currently to create an actual change that is permanent and sustainable within our world  Without having to oppose anyone or fighting against any form of regime or government.  Democracy must not be an act of retaliation, vengeance or opposition toward the ‘evil one,’ it must be an actual decision to exert one’s will to be a part of a world system that stands up for All Life in Equality, for that which we All know and are aware of is Best for All, what we have All desired but have Feared standing up from – it only takes one decision in Self Responsibility to do so.

 

Activism and Revolutions

All these stories, the history we learn in our books must be reviewed within the consideration of how it has been all conveniently preserved in order to instill fears within humanity to not make a change – perfect weapon of mass control: fear for your life if you stand up for Life in Equality, for ‘Freedom’ and ‘Justice’

We are here, individuals with common sense, taking Self Responsibility toward our world and reality, realizing the acceptance and allowance of the world system that has lead us to this point at the moment wherein it is a matter of actual life or death, not only for individuals, but for Every Being Equally if we don’t get to an agreement to do and live within a system that will benefit all beings equally. This is thus not a matter of Revolutions, Oppositions, Protests, Flipping Fingers at your Presidents, firing up flags and pictures of leaders as a sign of inconformity, this is about dedicating our lives to first Educate ourselves HOW human history has developed, how we have accepted the issues that exist nowadays as an inheritance of the past, how we are the ones that must take responsibility and within this, create a political, economical and social solution that benefits ALL Equally, yes including those that are currently on the top of the world – otherwise, we already know where this fight between classes leads us to: nowhere but further upgrades within the same system of abuse.

 

This is why we say Activism is Futile as all revolutions and people that have ‘stood up’ for anything in this world have been killed, ostracized and exterminated by the system.  This is why we have explained that the real revolution begins within us, individually, the moment that we stop only caring for our individual lives and consider the whole in our thoughts, words and deeds – that’s the greatest common sensical ‘weapon’ toward everything that is promoted within this world, a ‘white glove’ smack on the face as they say here which means, using Common Sense = What is Best for ALL as the principle to live by that will eliminate the constant desire to be ‘above’ others, to maim another’s opportunity to get some form of benefit in order for you to get it first. All of these individualistic tactics is what is promoted within capitalism. We can decide to change it by standing up for Life in Equality, what a better way to slowly but surely dismantle an entire empire founded upon self-interest and selfish acts of greed. This implies that Changing Human Nature is required, and this is why and how we are walking at Desteni as the primary point of understanding the relationship that exists between ourselves as physical bodies, our mind and the current creation of this reality With the actual, real and practical solutions that each one of us, individual by individual are able to take on in order to establish a real change that will be Here as a certainty for generations to come.

Now, this is something that I am definitely willing to live for and by for the rest of my life, there is nothing else to do, be or become but standing up for what is best for all, this is the law of our being and this is what must be pursued equally by any sane person left in this world. This is thus not being a revolutionary in the sense of opposing or fighting the system, this is about changing the way live is being ‘lived’ currently and be part of the group of people that is willing to implement it until it is done.

Amen.

 

Self Forgiveness in any left overs of fears toward standing up for Life in Equality will come in the next post. Thanks for reading.

Revolución

 

Watch:

Only Crazy People Want to Change the World

 

Blogs:

 

Educate Yourself:


211. Why is Life a Struggle? Why Can’t All be just HAPPY?

 
We’ve come to neglect the fact that it takes a single decision and agreement to enable a state of well being to all human beings. Any brainwashing propaganda saying ‘We Can’t’ must be categorized as a weapon of mind control , because throughout our investigations we’ve come to understand how it is through massive propaganda systems through the media, that the population ends up being Educated by TV, by Newspapers, by everything which has become part of the ‘collective unconscious’ without anyone being seemingly regulating such aspects that influence us all – is it really? Now, I’m not speaking about conspiracy theories here, it is to realize how we are all aware of how Self Interest as the desire for power/ money complicates everything, leading us from personal trivial desires to ascend/ escalate the ‘social ladder’ or justifying wars in the name of a so-called national defense while regurgitating words that keep the population fearing each other all the time, fearing ending up without any form of money and support, in essence: fearing that their own ‘life’ is able to be turned off in no time.

 

Watch documentaries:  The Power Principle |

 

What Happens when we Don’t give to each other what we would like for ourselves as a basic form of ‘protection and security’ that is always sought by a human being that stems from the preprogrammed design of surviving and essentially, doing all it can to continue living, even if that means killing or consuming everything on his path? This is the history of our human civilization – do we have the power to change it? Of course, we just have to agree that there are basic conditions that we all require to give and receive in Equality in order to live Well*

I can attest how the moment one suddenly has no such security as owning your house – even on ‘paper – having enough money to have your ‘usual treats’ or any other vainglory that money brings, one is faced with an uncanny experience that I had never had before in my lifetime back then – since I was 8-10 years old when it happened – and it’s what one would call Depression, no distinct to how the crisis in Capitalism is also dubbed as ‘Depression’ and it only exists as an energetic experience of having little to no energy/ money which causes an emotional state of ‘Depression’ which is simply having a seemingly ‘negative experience’ of anxiety, distress, worry, concern, apathy and general diminishment of your ‘self-esteem’ a.k.a. not getting your happy-meal so to speak to continue escalating in the social standards in society.

Why have we even allowed Lack of Money to be a regular condition in this world?
Why have we never questioned poverty and ‘depressions’ as an actual disease that must be cured at the root/ source of the problem, which in all cases is the current monetary system?
Why have we only managed to ‘mitigate’ the problems that affect us ALL and Con.Form to what is presented as temporary solutions to a lack of money – such as further Debt that sounds like Death wherein you end up rolling on your payroll like a shroud wherein all that is left of you is a piece of flesh and bones that forgot about itself and always sought life, but never lived.

 

The reason Why we are doing this is because we have neglected each other as Equals – hence it is a matter of Education, it is a matter of being willing to step out of the brainwashing that is constant in our society which is nothing else but the sum total of individuals seeking to fulfill their own interest. Call it ‘making a living,’ I call it collective agreement to abuse each other as Life and must be Stopped.

 

Throughout these blog series I’ve investigated my own process of forming and linking the idea of well being, happiness, success to Money and I’ve titled it as the Elitist Character which is the inherent pattern we’ve acquired the moment that we live in this world and learn that only through money we can satisfy ourselves in all aspects – whether it’s the usual love/relationships, business/job and personal spiritual endeavors or simply having the ability to hoard money due to belonging to a certain bloodline-lineage that enables you to have the ‘Time of your life’ from the moment you are born.

For the rest of us mortals, we have to simply try and attempt to Succeed as in Sucking out the Life essence o the seed that gives life, following dreams of ‘someday Finally making it’ and spending the rest of our days literally ‘dying to live’ – why is this so? and why is it that the moment that we lack money and we are unable to have a proper living condition and/or meet our usual ‘treats’ that only a few people can afford in this world in fact, we are subsumed into what is called a ‘Negative Experience’ which is similar to the ‘lower vibrations’ that people on  Heaven would define the demon dimension to be like, never realizing the abuse that such standard of ‘heavenly experience’ meant for the Earth and human beings in it (Research: Demons in the Afterlife) The World is in Reverse –and yes, ‘the world is a vampire,’ Billy Corgan, however I would mostly say the Human’s been a vampire serving other greater vampires that have become our regular Empires that will kill and destroy as long as some form of bliss can be obtained from it – isn’t that gory? How we’ve neglected GLORY as the Victory over others through going on a killing spree without any form of mercy?

Why have we even accepted the fact that ‘life is a struggle/ life is a fight’ which takes me back to the motto of the Jesuit school I went to: Militia est Vita – yeah, Loyola was a soldier and suddenly saw himself maimed and enlightened with some form of godliness to predicate well being on mankind, did he have to Suffer in order to get such Godly predicament? Points to ponder, not to mention that his legacy  continued throughout  Jesuit schools that are meant to ‘shape leaders’ in this world are anything but affordable for the most of population.

To correct and redirect the title of this blog which is a common misconception in our lexicon: Life is not a Struggle, it is Us human beings that have made it a Struggle through the acceptance and allowance of the current world system ‘as is.’ Time for a Revolution? No, time to first debunk our own brainwashing through Writing, Applying and Living Self Forgiveness In Self Honesty – that’s the key to massive liberation from the drive-thru lifestyle behavior and start Valuing that which is REAL as Life, as the Physical.

 

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to never question why it is that I suddenly felt sad and worried all the time as a constant experience only by knowing that we had financial troubles and within this, taking it personal to the level of believing that It would be a solution for them – my parents – not having to pay for my food and education, making it then an entire out of proportion desire to not exist as a fleeting solution in order to ‘wash away’ the worry and concern that I was witnessing in my father, never really considering how it is that in fact it would have only brought further problems.

I realize that people committing suicide due to financial problems are taking the easy way out apparently, and see no way to solve the problem – however, there is no way we can escape this world and reality for we will continue coming back into this Earth, and there is no way that one can accept the fact that the future of this world remains locked into a certain self-destructive mode as it is currently, and I also realize that this depends on us, human beings, being willing to step up and Take Responsibility, because if there is something that is neglected at all times throughout our lives whenever we ‘flirt’ with any desire to give up or even ‘leave the Earth’ as in committing suicide, we are deliberately denying and neglecting the responsibility that we all hold toward this world and ourselves as individuals that have accepted and allowed the current world system of debt as the only way to ‘make money,’ instead of agreeing altogether to establish a system that will Provide for All Beings Equally

It is already quite clear that we are running only from actually doing all we can in order to establish a solution that will be permanent, and will become the new living-phase of us as humanity for the first time on Earth, since all we have been thus far, is nothing else but slaves serving a greater ‘God’- either metaphorically speaking as in Religions and Spirituality – or literally as the Money that gives us such bliss and joy on Earth.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into extensive fear as a child about losing our house, losing ‘my safety and protection’ and within this, becoming unstable in my personal experience due to believing that having no money meant being close to death and that was it, close to living in poverty as the poor people that I would actually Fear becoming and living on the streets with them and eating what they ate and having to beg for money in order to survive.

I realize that this is the reality of fellow human beings that are HERE in this world as myself, and that the only barrier that divides me from realizing myself As Them, is the mind that I have cultivated in order to always seek to benefit me-me-me and never consider the reality of myself as the totality of who and what I am as One and Equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to generate an emotional experience of sadness, worry, concern, anxiety and fear generally when hearing about us not having much money and having our house owned by the bank for a moment which to me felt like suddenly descending from heaven into hell and even though my reality didn’t drastically change, the sheer fact of knowing that ‘We don’t have much money’ became a very bitter phase of my life to go through, wherein I simply desired to  have the nightmare be over, go back to our ‘happy go round’ lives of having money – at least enough to be ‘happy’ – and that was it. However, it was quite a road out  of that huge bump on the road wherein I then became that same instability and inferiority that I cultivated due to not having had enough money at that time to satisfy my desires imprinted and acquired mostly by the media, by wanting to have what my friends had (see 201. Friends of Convenience: for a little piece of Heaven) and as such, believing that I was certainly ‘less than them’ due to not having as much money as they did.

 

When and as I see myself defining who I am according to the amount of money that I have or I don’t have, and creating a negative experience/ positive experience for either occasion, I stop and I breathe. I realize that money should only be a means to Live and have the necessary to have a dignified living – and this means, becoming part of the solution through my own living self-agreement and consideration of supporting myself as life and others equally to step out of the selfish-act of survivalism as the actual point of mind control it represents

 

I commit myself to expose how we can all in fact assist and support each other to establish a world system that can be implemented by the sheer realization that who we are as life is and has always been Here, and that it is the human aspect that has become the very weapon of mass destruction as the imposition of a system that functions upon the abuse of life.

 

I commit myself for Life to stop this carnage, the strain, the worry and constant threat of having no money the next day to live, as I see and realize that the experience of each other is invariably creating the reality that we All Live in. It is impossible to ignore this.

Support the Equal Money System 

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—- it is not over yet.

 

 

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192. The Reasoning behind Procrastination

The end of the character – the beginning of new points.

Conclusions and new beginnings within the Procrastination Character

 

So, here is a consideration. Procrastination and various realizations were walked while working on this series of blogs – however I realize that it is useless unless I walk it, and that’s a general consideration with all of our writings within Self Forgiveness, that it is not a magic wand, it is actually getting to know the pattern in such detail that we can only continue fooling ourselves to Not live out the corrections we’ve specified here.

Another aspect I can see is how Self Forgiveness is not about now pumping our ‘spirits’ and creating a willingness to do so based on energy as a positive-attitude toward it, as that can eventually down-grade to the downhill experience toward it – thus I realize that every point of correction that I walk must be an actual integration of the correction as a habit, as a pattern that I can stand as without any ‘effort’ or ‘impetus’ stemming with an energetic surge to ‘do it’ which can downfall in the ‘not wanting to do it’ and within that, we could only get back to our drawing board to see, okay, what have I missed?

In my case, I’ve realized that there are Many points that opened up with this character, since it’s been virtually a progressive point that I left behind/ delbierately postponed in looking at the ‘postponement character’ as I’ve explained which entails that there is an aspect that I was Not willing to face within myself. And this is where I lead myself to, the character extraction of postponement/procrastination inevitably leads me to see what is it in fact that I am resisting to look at, what am I exactly doing to myself, why am I doing this even if I KNOW/ knew all the way that it is not what I had planned/ meant to do.

Now, looking into these aspects that I was not willing to open up is not a ‘piece of cake’ because

1. I was only thinking too much about it but not looking into myself and writing about it, applying self forgiveness and self corrective application to make sense of myself, which is the point that cannot be side-viewed when we see ourselves stepping into this wobbly ground wherein we Believe that we are ‘superior to our mind’ and we can just figure it out/ sort out the point in our minds without actually walking it/ writing it/ applying the corrections.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think too much about what I had to do without actually assisting and supporting me to write the point out and follow through it within a practical application of self-forgiveness, because I wanted to ‘sort it out’ myself within the belief that I could just ‘stop it’ in one moment and be through it without any further hesitation, which is an indication of ego trying to ‘sort it out in one go’ without realizing that the moment that a point has not been directed in a long time and it is still ‘here’ as a point that has not been moved, it requires immediate attention and direction in order to support myself, as I see and realize that trying to ‘make up my mind’ about it is really covering up/ disguising/ make-up excuses and justifications for not doing something and further procrastinating it. Thus

 

When and as I see myself thinking that I can easily ‘sort out’ a point within my mind, which has been going on for an extended period of time – I stop and I breathe – I flag point immediately this ‘brushing off’ attitude wherein I realize that I must take the point ‘by the horns’ so to speak, in order to not further grow the ‘calamity’ and as such, take he responsibility of my own inactions/ actions to investigate what is going on with me, why am I simply not directing myself effectively within one point in my reality, what are the thoughts, the experiences, the backchat behind it? As I see and realize that the more it s procrastinated the more it will be fueled by a negative experience toward it, eventually building it as a fortress that I will simply have to debunk/ deconstruct anyways as there is no-way I can escape from my responsibility, no matter what.

 

I commit myself to assist and support me to immediately look at a point that I’ve been deliberately ‘leaving around’ to no look at it/ not face the point, as I see and realize that this is just part of the resistances that I have to get to know how I created and why have I simply not looked into them, which is an indication of me having to look at myself and walk the necessary process of self correction without further procrastination.

 

2. I was trying to ‘make sense’ of my procrastination through a positive-perspective toward it, such as what I’ve explained within the previous points wherein I would place a positive-experience or deemed ‘positive task’ to do instead of doing this particular task/ project without comparing it to other tasks in my reality – within this,  not wanting to actually look at what was in fact the resistance to work on this document, what was it all about and how I could practically ‘do something about it’ which is obviously first: getting to know myself and the entire ‘case’ I made out of this project/ writing that I have to do and then actually walking the correction .

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and justify/ excuse and most importantly validate my procrastination based on having ‘other tasks to do’ that I have deemed as ‘more important’ and within this excuse, wanting to justify my deliberate neglect toward other tasks in my reality that I see and realize will ‘not go away’ and that I have to actually walk through them and direct myself to take responsibility for them.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to justify a resistance experienced toward writing based on having ‘better things to do’ and within this always making it ‘alright’ in my mind to not get to the task at hand, which is the easy-positive thinking that I would indulge in to always remain with a ‘positive score’ within me, even if I knew that I was not properly giving direction and directing myself toward all things that I have to do/ work on in my reality.

 

When and as I see myself wanting to validate, excuse and justify a point of procrastination with ‘better things to do/ more valuable things/ more important things in my reality’  – I stop and I breathe – I realize that this value-schemes are part of my own creation in order to relegate the task that is part of my professional career to a ‘second point’ in my reality, without considering that it is a priority and it is in fact as important as any other task that I have committed myself to within the principle of assisting and supporting myself within this process in my reality and within the network of support that we represent and are.

 

I commit myself to give myself direction in an equal basis/ manner to all points in my reality and within this, stopping the value-scheme toward tasks wherein there are no ‘less important’ tasks or ‘more important’ tasks – but remain equal and consistent within my application in all aspects of my reality.

 

3. I wasn’t willing to recognize that what is “natural” to us is all aspects that lead us to self-sabotage and always create a point of conflict to not be able to function properly in our lives, and this is just because of who we have accepted and allowed ourselves to become based on  the mind and trying to remain within a ‘winning situation’ at all times while no action is being taken upon All aspects of who we are within our reality – among other various variables that are yet to be explored.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and make sense to why I was procrastinating with excuses and validations as previously mentioned, without actually investigating what is it that is actually leading me to self-sabotage, what is it that I am in fact not looking at/ identifying within me to give myself proper direction within this point.

 

When and as I see myself facing a ‘wall’ within looking at the reason/ processing behind an aspect of my reality that I am not able to ‘pinpoint’ as to why I am not moving within it – I stop and I breathe – I first of all ask myself: what am I preventing me to see within myself that is leading me to deliberately sabotage myself and my decisions? And if there is no clear answer, then I assist and support myself with asking questions to others that are also walking this process as us Destonians are able to always give ourselves a perspective that we would have most likely not considered/ not being willing to look at, which is how within the dimension of self-support must at all times be considered in order to not just try and ‘figure it all out’ ourselves – as outlined in point number 1 – and instead, accept and allow the support that is available in gratefulness.

 

I commit myself to ask for support and assistance and allow myself to get further perspectives when facing a point that I cannot simply ‘make sense of’ by only writing about it and not really understanding ‘why’ we are doing things to ourselves, as we can be missing out an important aspect that we might not be looking at because of and due to the extent we have become the pattern in itself, which is how and why buddying/ assistance and support at Desteni is all about: allowing ourselves to be supported by others within the principle of us being living the point of supporting ourselves unconditionally as well.

 

4. Another point I realized is how one underlying aspect of this all is wanting to ‘serve others/ be there as support for others’ and missing out this basic point of self support for Myself. This is what I will begin with on the following posts to come, to see where this personality of the helper/ good person/ supportive person has lead me to self compromise when not walking in an equilibrium between my ‘supportive role’ and my own personal-support as in walking the responsibilities that I have within my world that are not linked toward my own process however are absolutely Part of Process as it is part of my reality and the points that I am walking within my life in this world.

And here’s where that Jesuit school motto comes to mind ‘Ser para los demás’ = ‘To be/ Being For Others’ – which is  essentially missing out oneself and then yes, it’s like ‘awesome, you are of ‘great support’ for others but, where’s your own self-support and self responsibility within your world?’ Self’s application must be Equal in all ways and I cannot give more to be something for ‘others’ but rather stand as an example of being the support I want for myself and that I can give to others and as such, give it back to myself. 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to procrastinate my own responsibilities based on wanting to rather ‘support others/ be there for others’ and within this, missing out my own priorities and responsibilities which I see and realize that it is actually stemming from wanting to ‘do good to others’ while creating an actual physical space-time consequences due to me using the point of supporting others as an excuse to not get to my own responsibilities in my reality. Thus

 

When and as I see myself making the decision to rather do this/that which is based on supporting others/ being ‘there for others’ – I stop and I breathe – I realize that as long as this support of ‘being there for others’ stems from a point of wanting to help/ support to be a ‘good person’ and use this as an excuse to not get to my responsibilities, it is actually an unacceptable way of supporting as I am missing out myself and furthermore creating further excuses as how it is ‘better’ to support others because it makes me feel ‘better’ than just doing a task for an institution, wherein it is common sense that all aspects of my reality are equally important and equally priority within this process wherein everything that I commit myself to do will be based on self-responsibility in all aspects/ points in my reality.

I commit myself to equalize my application in all aspects of my reality wherein no point is less or more important as I realize that all commitments I make are equally important within my reality and my development as a person that is able to be self responsible in all aspects/ ways which is the decision one makes when standing up for life and the creation of an actual better world for ourselves.

 

So, the procrastination character has now morphed into looking at the ‘game played’ while procrastinating, and that’s the nitty-gritty aspects that I commit myself to open up in the following posts.

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186.Physical Pains: I Did it to Myself

Physical Dimension – Procrastination Character – Pains and discomfort at a physical level – Part 1

 

I am about to open up my document and suddenly my eyes begin feeling a tad heavy, like I suddenly want to sleep

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience my eyes going heavy and suddenly feeling overall sleepy and wanting to go to bed/ rest the moment that I am opening my folder with the written document that I have to work with – wherein I have become possessed by the belief of me being ‘tired’ to do this, wanting to ‘rest for a while’ to continue, without realizing that there is no possible way to be tired as it is only the middle of the day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the excuse of me wanting to sleep/ being tired from last night as an excuse to not get into the writing due to my eyes feeling sore, without realizing that this is part of the physical possession that I have created along with the backchat and resistances to write.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must close my eyes for a moment before getting to the writing because I am apparently ‘tired’ which is not really so, it is physical consequence of me having participated extensively in procrastinating whenever I would get myself to the point of ‘going to write the document’ and simply ending up not doing so.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my eyes cannot be open one more second and believe that I cannot possibly continue, without realizing that my eyes are perfectly ‘okay’ no matter how long I stare at a screen, thus the discomfort is part of the self-created burden/ tiredness and pain and discomfort in order to not direct myself to do what I have to do, which is the physical point of transcending the energetic experience at a physical level as a physical consequence of what I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in within procrastination.

When and as I see myself having my eyes going heavy and dry and suddenly wanting to close my eyes and doze off for a moment – I stop, I take deep breath and I realize that I cannot possibly be tired and that this is only an excuse that I have created at a physical level in order to not get to this point of writing the document, which is how I see that the friction and conflict and background ‘worry’ that I have created as procrastination, generates or I generate within me a desire to simply ‘sleep it off’ to then forget about me directing this point in the moment, as I see and realize that it is in the best interest of the mind as myself to continue existing within this procrastination character to in fact always remain bound to this One Point that I have to do, which is what has been preventing me from being absolutely here in every moment of breath as a self directive being.

I realize that the desire to sleep has become a way for me to escape responsibilities wherein I trick myself within the belief that ‘I am too tired for this’ and that I cannot possibly continue, wherein I have actually tested out last night how it is a matter of breathing through the experience, even going out to take some fresh oxygen/ air and then continue working on whatever task I am focusing on.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel the upper side of my back going heavy and my head becoming ‘cloudy’ the moment that I am sifting through the documents to open the latest version of the writing and going into a slight experience of anxiety because of realizing that I have to go through it all over again and read and write and correct it.

When and as I see myself experiencing anxiety as the rush to open up the document within the starting point of wanting to ‘get over with it’ for once and for all, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am able to breathe here in every moment through and while things are being done/ moved and in this case me going through the documents in order to open up the writing document, and also within this, realize that the overwhelming experience of it being ‘too much to go through’ at once creates the anxiety due to ‘not having enough time’ which is only a self-imposed limitation to not work on it in the moment.

When and as I see myself becoming impatient while going through the documents to open it up and wanting to skip-read throughout it, I stop and I breathe – I realize that being here as the physical requires no rushing as there is no deadline to ‘match’ but it is only my self-imposed rush as the result of having procrastinated the point for far too long wherein I am attempting to ‘make up for it’ in one go, which is not impossible – yet not preferred as I realize that I would be dishonest to myself if I just complete this task to ‘get it done’ instead of assisting and supporting me to be here in and as everything that I participate in.

I commit myself to realize that the rush experienced even at the moment of beginning to work with the document is only the accumulated anxiety that I created as a suppression when procrastinating this task throughout time, thus I take responsibility for not continuing supporting the energetic experience at a physical level, I instead breathe through it until I am here again in stability to then continue working with the actual writing and reading, ensuring that I am not wanting to ‘skip through it’ in order to go faster/ get it done sooner as that would simply be once again going into the rush of the mind to ‘get it done.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to start thinking about just going and listening to this one song and then I continue, which is a seemingly ‘innocent’ way of creating a diversion point, without realizing how it is in the moment when the thought comes up to ‘go and listen to this song/ watch this video’ that I have to stand absolutely clear here, take a deep breath and continue seeking the document/ opening it up/ reading through it no matter how ‘long’ it takes to do so. Within this

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create my own entertainment and diversion tactics as mind control in order to get distracted from doing this particular task, wherein I realize that the moment that I even allow myself to ponder whether doing it or not is already not being absolutely here as the physical, breathing and directing myself to do what I know must be done. I realize that this is the same as giving up any craving that I would experience with other things in my reality as an addiction, due to the fact that I have become so used to giving myself these ‘experience treats’ that are not good or bad per se, such as listening to music – however it is the relationship that I have formed toward that as a way to distract myself from getting to my writing what is the point to self forgive and correct, as I see and realize that there have been many, many times wherein I can simply drone out into the ‘zone’ of just watching this concert, video, interview or any music that I am entertained with in order to then make the point as a ‘waste of time,’ go into regret and then move onto doing something else that is required to be done, BUT not this particular specific task that I was aiming at from the very beginning.

When and as I see myself wanting to divert my attention to watch a music video, listen to a song, go through this website to see what’s new as entertainment while having made the decision to work on my document – I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am creating a point of diversion that I must deliberately stop and continue directing myself to continue and work with the task itself.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to link this particular task which is writing to a sensation of discomfort on my chest which is actually a fear as the accumulated experience of having procrastinated it for ‘far too long’ and within this, being experiencing the result of my own consequence which was absolutely unnecessary if I had just directed myself appropriately – however there are no ‘ifs’ and ‘If I had just…’ as this is only a point to recognize that I can only give myself direction from this moment on and sure that I do not actually make the same mistake again.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to begin complaining in my mind about the pains and physical discomfort I experience when beginning to read, wherein I believe that ‘I must take a rest because I’m not feeling well,’ without realizing that the physical pains and discomfort has been created by me due to having given all my attention to always end up procrastinating the writing, instead of actually breathing and simply doing it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to cause pain in the pit of my stomach, arms, upper back mostly in relation to me walking through the procrastination of writing this document wherein I believe that the ‘heaviness’ and ‘pain’ is just ‘too much to bear,’ without considering and realizing that this is my own process of actually facing the consequences of what I have done and created to myself as my physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always give into the heaviness experience and seemingly tiredness believing that it is ‘real’ without realizing that it is real as a consequence of what I have created and propitiated myself –

When and as I see myself diverting my attention toward the physical pains and discomfort as an obstacle for me to stop and not continue with writing the document, I stop and I breathe. I take responsibility for my own physical discomfort that has been created as a result of the accumulated experience of suppressing the task while using energy to ‘tamper’ it and evolving my stance as the mind in order to make it ‘all fine’ while neglecting the consequences that my physical body is actually experiencing as a result of me keeping this relationship toward this one point as an accumulated experience of procrastination.

I commit myself to start considering every moment that I participate in the mind as this single act of thinking creating and manifesting a physical consequence due to my ignorant participation in the mind and procrastination as an energetic experience that I tried and suppress, instead of actually standing up and taking responsibility and within this, stopping the reactions and further consequences experience at a physical level from this.

this will continue

 

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185. Anxiety over Time

 

Anxiety is one of the physical consequences within the procrastination character – here I explore anxiety in relation to time, memories of anxiety linked with having to complete tasks or a specific ideal of ‘who I have to be’ in order to remain within the accepted and allowed self-imposed standards of being efficient, steadfast and accurate in what I do.

Physical Dimensions of Procrastination – Reaction of Anxiety

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as the experience of quivering and energetic churning in my solar plexus, extending throughout my body as all my limbs and believe that I must ‘act’ upon this experience to make it stop, without realizing that it is just the movement of energy that is throughout my body as the consequential outflow of me having created an experience toward my reality as emotions, feelings, thoughts which are only existent to generate conflict and friction within me.

 

When and as I see myself experiencing anxiety within my physical body, I stop and I breathe until the energy dissipates and I ensure that I am bringing myself here back to the physical, wherein I then rewind the moment to see what did I see, what was I thinking, what single thought emerged within me that caused me this energetic physical experience, as I see and realize that it won’t go away just by ‘breathing’ through it, but that the core and starting point of it must be clarified within me in order to take responsibility for the relationship of energy that I created toward something/ someone in separation of myself.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience anxiety whenever I see that I am ‘missing out’ on doing something, which is usually linked to being procrastinating a particular task wherein the single thought of ‘task’ to be completed, triggers this inner experience within me that is felt in the pit of my stomach. I realize that it is a Lot more subtle than the ‘anxiety attacks’ I would get years ago, however, it is still existent as this minute ‘bomb’ that I experience as a burst of energy that quickly fades in the solar plexus area – however, the energetic experience is still linked to me ‘knowing’ that I have to do something and me believing that ‘I don’t have enough time for it,’ which is an excuse that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘rush’ the experience of anxiety with, believing that it must be ‘done now’ and within this statement, binding myself to time instead of giving myself a practical direction to establish a moment of the day to dedicate to my task/ project to complete.

 

When and as I see myself having the thought of ‘task’ and then backchatting ‘I don’t have enough time’ – I stop and I breathe until the experience of the anxiety in the ‘pit of my stomach’ dissipates as I ensure that I return the energy back to the physical through in-out breath – as I bring myself here back to physical stability, I give myself direction in that moment to proceed to work on the task/ arrange my other tasks so that I ensure I do work on it today.

 

I realize that this energetic experience of anxiety is directly linked to ‘time’ as this ever-looming haunting presence wherein I have made of time an enemy without even wanting to realize it, thus I stop defining my day according to ‘time’ but instead direct me to move in every moment according to tasks/ points that must be completed – that way I stop binding myself to time, and work on physical reality here in every moment, ensuring I take on each point breath-by—breath.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be so ‘used to’ the experience of anxiety that I have managed to simply shove it aside for a moment, and believe that I could ‘live with it’ or the remains of it as this not-so overwhelming experience as it used to be, but this little tiny energetic outbursts after these years of being stopping what I called as ‘nervousness’ which was actually anxiety,  and that it was ‘part of myself’ as something that could not be entirely ‘stopped’ which is me limiting myself to my full ability to remain here as the absolute physical breath and stability that I am.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make of anxiety a physical experience that I defined as my own ‘alarm’ to move on and pay attention to what was required to do, wherein I would experience anxiety whenever I was expected to move ‘fast’ and do things ‘quickly’ in order to maintain a certain expectation of my ‘performance’ within specific tasks, specifically stemming from the relationship with my father, that I’ve walked through several blogs as an example 103. Being efficient out of Fear! wherein I realized that this desire to ‘match’ my father’s perceived efficiency would cause me to get into anxiety the same way that I would observe him be and do wherein, even if he would react in anger and anxiety to direct things, everything would always work out perfectly – or so I believed.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I require anxiety to perform a task, to get things done as an ‘alarm’ or ‘warning’ that there is something I must ‘get to do’ and within my own ‘rebellion’ toward my own patterns – foolishly so – I created a laxity toward this wherein I did not precisely write self forgiveness on the experience of anxiety and its origin, but tried to simply ‘breathe through it’ without actually understanding how I created the pattern myself.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the memory of my father rushing us all to be ready to leave the house or do a particular ‘move’ wherein I perceived his own anxiety and demanding force for everyone to just hurry and move and get out of the house in order to leave, and me creating this experience within me of what I can refer to as anxiety within the belief that moving fast/ going out of the house immediately and essentially performing any task or something that is required of me to do, has to be done with this experience at a physical level of anxiety.

Therefore, I see and realize that I have programmed myself to believe that doing something ‘out of the ordinary’ or that which I am regularly comfortable with, must have an anxiety experience toward it accompanied with a sense of rush and steadfastness that is not physical only, but always accompanied with a mix of nervousness and anxiety as the expectation of something that would happen and that I would not know how to ‘control’ or what to ‘expect’ in such situations, which is how I believed that experiencing the ‘tickling’ throughout my body was a normal physical reaction to expectations, future projections, doing something out of my regular ‘doings,’ or being specifically called out by my name to move/ do something, requires anxiety for me to ‘wake up.’

 

When and as I see myself experiencing anxiety when I am about to do a task or remember about doing it or being asked by my name to do something , I stop and I breathe – I realize that this is me re-enacting that first experience of rushing/ fear/ anxiety and nervousness when I was asked to do something that I was uncertain about in relation to the point being ‘familiar’ or ‘known’ for me to Know what to expect – which is then realizing that I don’t require to have control of or be expecting something specific when dealing with a situation, when getting myself to perform a task, when going somewhere and meeting someone unknown to me as events wherein within my awareness have no reference to.

 

I commit  myself to realize that I don’t require anxiety in order to move and that it is certainly Not a normal experience whenever I am about to direct myself to perform a task, to go somewhere, meet someone, or I am simply asked to do something that I believe I am not ‘ready for.’ I realize that the readiness and steadfastness exists as who I am here as the physical breath by breath.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience anxiety whenever I go into a future projection of being in a situation wherein I am not ‘reaching my goal’ or ‘achieving what I expected’ or ‘fulfilling another’s expectations upon me,’ which is how I allowed myself to become the anxious and steadfast person based on the belief that I did not want to be as ‘slow’ as my sisters or mother, and within that, wanting to be ‘liked’ by my father for always being as ready, steadfast, accurate and efficient as I have perceived him to be. Within this, accepting his anxiety and usual anger as means o give direction to something or someone in a proper manner, within this

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I required to experience anxiety within me in order to move, do things efficiently and even more so, when directing others also having to exert anger within my desire to have everyone and everything just functioning and working the exact same way that I want it to be – wherein if something did not go out as I ‘have intended to’ I would go into absolute nervous breakdown.  In this

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get anxious at the thought of that still image of me in the classroom in second grade and simply losing my focus on that ‘mental calculation’ exercise wherein we have to go making immediate multiplications and just writing down the result and me missing out one of them and so suddenly going into this extreme fear and anxiety because I saw everyone else was simply following through and ‘I’ had lost it and within this an immediate overwhelming experience rushed to my head as me not getting an ‘A’ /or 10 as it is qualified here – and within this, missing out my ‘perfection’ at that stage which was the time when I was overtly apprehensive about my reputation in school as an ‘A’ student. Thus I began crying and simply lost it, which was a way for me to also want to create a justification as in ‘poor girl, she’s crying, let’s do it all again for her,’ as a point of manipulation in order for me to have a ‘second chance,’ which obviously didn’t happen and I didn’t get a good grade and that’s how it remained as a memory to ‘keep’ due to the extensive amount of anxiety that lead to crying and the embarrassment for crying and for missing out on the exercise at the eyes of my entire class.

Within this

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into anxiety due to projecting onto others thoughts and beliefs of them thinking that I have simply ‘lost it’ as in missing out on the most simple stuff and within this, fearing to be stupid or dumb in that moment, which stood as an opposite of the image that I would ‘work so hard’ to maintain which was being the straight-A flawless student.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience anxiety whenever I believe that I am ‘losing my perfection’ wherein after the experiences throughout childhood of being overtly apprehensive with school, I became more ‘relaxed’ about it in order to show to others that I wasn’t as ‘apprehensive with school,’ wherein eventually it developed to the point I am facing today which is the ‘I don’t care’ character stemming from that initial stage in my life of extensive anxiety and apprehension toward school and doing everything ‘perfectly’ – o the point where I believe that ‘I don’t care’ however, always maintaining almost immaculate curriculum and within this

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience anxiety as a suppressed way to not look at what must be done, but instead seeing it as me ‘missing out/ losing my position’ in relation to any point/ task/ project that I have to complete, thus

When and as I see myself experiencing anxiety as the accumulation of me having had this expectation of myself as being always ‘perfect’ and ‘right’ in and throughout school, generating this idea that I must then continue that personality and that because I am not moving myself to do so, I require anxiety to move as a way to generate fear within me to move myself – but! because it meets with my newly upgraded character of the apprehensive mutated into the ‘I don’t care,’ the anxiety is quieted down and immediately-instantly suppressed with an ‘I don’t care’ experience which is then creating a thought or come up with something for me to do in order to make it alright for me to not do things – thus  I see that this single play out of experience requires stopping both the anxiety and the cover up experience to the anxiety as ‘I don’t care’ in order to simply move physically and get things done.

 

I commit myself to stop waiting for me to experience a thought and anxiety afterward related to ‘doing the task’ as a way to move myself and within this, stopping the cover up experience of ‘I don’t care’ and leaving it for later – as I see and realize that as long as I continue making it ‘okay’ to save it for later, I continue the indecision and lack of self direction in one moment here, wherein I realize that I only require to make the decision and live it out as myself.

 

There’s more to come in relation to anxiety, ‘big projects’ or tasks and my looming experience that comes when thinking that ‘I have to do something’ but then going into anxiety, suppress it and continue doing something else wherein no self-movement is then occurring.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience anxiety at the moment for thinking ‘all the stuff I have to do after I post this blog’ and immediately wanting to rush to publish and ‘get done with it’ wherein I then start blaming myself for taking the time to work on the cooking process earlier and within this not prioritizing my time – thus,

When and as I see myself wanting to rush and get anxious to post my blog, I stop and I breathe until I redistribute the anxiety experience throughout my body and out through breathing, and then I realize that I require to be more directive during mornings like today wherein I can simply go straight to the writing to then focus on answering mails and everything else that must be done.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be rubbing my feet within the anxiety experience wherein I have become so used to the rubbing of my feet as a physical indication of anxiety and nervousness upon the realization that ‘I am behind’ something and I must ‘hurry’ as if rubbing my feet would somehow expedite the process as a constant friction experienced as the act of rubbing my feet one against the other.

When and as I see myself rubbing my feet together as a way to externalize the anxiety as the friction I am experiencing inside me, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I don’t require to externalize a point of literal friction within me outside as rubbing my feet one against the other in a constant manner, as I can instead stop the anxiety from the beginning and within this

I commit myself to breathe and slow down every single moment that I see the slightest emergence of anxiety as myself as a rushing point to ‘get it done,’ and also stopping the imagination and projection of doing things ‘right away after I’m done with this,’ as it is an indication of dimensional shifts that I am participating in, wherein I am not being fully here as the finishing of the blog itself, but already wanting to ‘finish it up/ get it done’ so that it is posted, without realizing that I have been the only one that has set this ‘time’ limitation to my tasks.

Instead, I direct myself to simply make use of my time effectively wherein I see that there is no point in limiting myself according to ‘time’ but rather ensure that I work-on and direct points that are required to be directed moment by moment – one after the other – ensuring that throughout the process, I am here as breath.

I commit myself to breathe consciously and in full hereness, stopping whatever I am doing, until I can stand and ensure that I am no longer being ‘subject to’ anxiety, as I see and realize that whenever I try to only ‘cover up’ anxiety, it becomes just this something that is placed aside without really focusing on identifying the origin point and within this supporting myself physically to breathe through it until all energy is dissipated and I take responsibility for whatever is causing the anxiety within me.

I commit myself to realize that who I am is stable here as the physical and that I require no energetic experience to move myself and direct myself as I have just seen and realize how I am able to breathe through the experience until the energy dissipates and I am here stable as self.

I commit myself to ensure that I breathe until all muscles of my physical body are not tense and I experience breath being comfortably here as myself.

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184:Angstxiety

Physical Dimension: Reactions to the negative thought of having to complete a task/ activity

Within the entire series of the procrastination character that began on day 162. Either Do it or DIE I’ve walked the fear, thought, imagination – then even a fantasy came out – backchat and the reactions toward all of these points in both a negative and a positive manner.

The title of this blog comes from the realization that angst means fear in Dutch and anxiety is what we experience as the physical experience of such fears which sounds then similar as one leading to the other, while in English, angst means ‘anxiety about the state of the world’ which is how I can identify I have become the anxious person for the most part while growing up, which I have been working on as well in the death and destruction blogs going into both anxiety and dread about it.

 

Within the physical dimension is to then see how it is that all of these dimensions end up manifesting as a physical possession – how? Well, the moment that we give into the thought and make it a physical habit within it, we are essentially confirming that yes, the thoughts, backchat, reactions, fears are in fact ‘who we are’ and that all of such mind-experiences are ‘true enough’ for us to then live them out in the physical. Hence it’s this physical dimension the one that certainly exists as a consequential outflow of all the previous accepted and allowed mind experiences as real, it is the ‘physical possessed time’ wherein we have already abdicated the directive principle of ourselves and we essentially become the embodiment of our own mind control – sounds familiar? Yes, essentially every moment that we are not here breathing and being aware of ourselves as the physical and ‘lose track’ of what we are in fact doing in that moment – because of only existing in a constant myriad of thoughts, pictures, backchats/ internal conversations – wherein we are then only feeding the experience further and further while missing out the entire point of this experience which is nothing else and nothing more but a self created dis-ease through thinking and having a positive or negative experience about something/ someone in our world and reality.

 

Within the procrastination character, I realize that the moment that I am about to get onto doing something/ directing myself to complete a task, there’s a pinch of anxiety that emerges, that has been ‘slowed down’ so to speak from the time when I was a younger girl and going through school and having all the basic nervousness symptoms of having gastritis, multiple headaches whenever an exam or a ‘something to do’ would emerge that I would consider was ‘ahead of me’ and being overtly apprehensive, always worrying about the outcome of my exams, worrying if I’d get the highest grade – even if I pretended that I didn’t care – always wanting to get to places on time and essentially being in constant fear of ‘not meeting my goals’ which I later on suppressed as I went growing up with an opposite character. Within this I must say that my mother’s words were supportive since she always made me see how futile it was to be seeking to be perfect and strain my physical body for it, plus hearing words that would allow me to see that I didn’t require to worry about it since I had an ability to walk through school without a problem – however, the origin of the anxiety was never seen or realized in fact. So, I will dedicate myself to tap more into the anxiety experience, which has diminished considerably in the past years since I began my process of self forgiveness and self honesty, however, it still comes out which indicates that there are points that I must obviously still work through it and the realization is that such anxiety has been present lately due to and directly linked to the procrastination character, wherein the moment that we create our own ‘procrastination hell’ we become the embodiment of such ‘unsorted load’ and generate an overall relationship of self-abuse which is pretty much experienced at a physical level.

I had that yesterday in three different moments and all related to being asked the question of when the hell am I going to finish school – well actually could be four, lol since I had several chats with different people and realized that I am the only one that is procrastinating this.

So as I write this, there’s a flow of heaviness as energy that is experienced in my arms and in the pit of my stomach, which is where we could say the solar plexus actually is.

So far the only way that I have been able to slow down in physical reality in terms of walking slower, not rushing to get to a place (unless strictly necessary, lol) and going ‘ahead of time’ in my mind when for example, meeting someone, going to a certain place where I will have to face people, even making phone calls would be a reason for me to get anxious, like wanting to ‘get over with it’ – which is a key point here ‘getting over with it’ as this point that must be simply ‘rushed’ and ‘finished’ in order to ‘get to the next point’ – I mean, that’s not living, that’s just being like a Ford-T line producer that’s simply tied and bound to a single task-doing reality where no actual Living takes place. Unfortunately yes, this is the reality for the majority of everyone in this world because every moment that we reduce life to a sequence of ‘tasks to be done’ we are certainly limiting ourselves extensively within our capacity to see life not as a birth-consume-reproduce-produce-consume-die type of cycle with all the highs and lows in between – there is definitely another way of going through life even if it’s filled with ‘stuff to do,’ as I have realized that the moment we measure our days based on ‘stuff to do’ we miss out the point of how each activity is an opportunity to expand ourselves. And where does anxiety fit into all of this? Nowhere, it is a self-created TIME-triggered fuckup. I actually see how I have used Time as an excuse obviously, but also as a constant ‘counting’ of my day wherein instead of being here. I mean, even the sole ‘measuring’ of the day implies that I define myself according to what I did and what I did not do, which is just creating another aspect to give myself credit/ discredit for as an ego. No, I can instead decide to live in a way that is fully functional in every moment, and this implies not being subject to the reactions experienced Over going into an alternate reality of thinking, judging, backchatting, imagining, reacting over it etc.

I realize that I have separated myself from the actual ‘art of living’ which should be related to self mastery that I had on purpose seen as something ‘ahead’ of myself, impossible, ‘not now’ type of thing, without realizing that within this, I was kind of then sort of Still expecting me to do some ‘regular fuckups’ to demonstrate that ‘I am still mortal’ instead of actually taking a decision to not continue to allow any belittling within myself and others – as belittling was definitely one of the first points I worked with in my process which has been so far, cool – however, the anxiety point demonstrates that there is still this ‘uncertainty’ within me, and yes, directly related to this ‘something that I have to do’ and ‘complete’ as an ‘achievement’ that I am separating myself from.

 

So the physical dimension of this entire outflow of procrastination has to do with the various symptoms that one would experience as ‘anxiety’ among other physical habits like standing up and just moving away from the computer when the time comes to complete a task, or direct myself to get some water/ peanuts or raisins – or going out, which is what I have walked already in previous blogs, or simply doing something else.

As I was reading Heaven’s Journey To Life yesterday, I realized that I have in fact activated the ‘I don’t care’ character as a defense mechanism to keep myself in ‘good stand’ in my mind for not doing the task I know  I have to complete. This character would come as a temporary ‘shut up’ to the anxiety experienced at a physical level. Oh man, how far have I gone to cover up fuckup after fuckup of simply procrastinating a single task? Is it necessary? Obviously NOT! However, it seems as if I deliberately placed myself in this situation to walk through it, which is plain absurd but it ‘makes sense’ from the perspective that I have simply made an accumulation of decisions that were linked to the ‘positive experiences’ that I would use as an excuse to not get to this task.

A side note for me as well is how horrible it is to experience ‘excitement’ or some energetic experience that one would consider as a general ‘positive experience.’ I became excited about – oh god here I go – one of my so-called ‘favorite bands’ releasing a new album after a long time and so I went into this excitement that became a Really uncomfortable experience after a while, to the extent that I experience like a hangover of it due to the expectation – which creates anxiety – and the activation of all the emotions and feelings linked to this music – yes both emotions and feelings since it’s the type of ‘drug’ as an experience that I would be the most addicted to, this type of sublime experiences wherein you are rather overwhelmed by the sounds that terrifies us in a way and at the same time becomes a nice experience. And that, my fellow droogies I will walk separately and later on post as I will continue walking the procrastination character, but I see how the entire experiences linked to music must also be debunked, because it is ‘hard’ for anything or anyone else to create an experience of this kind within me, it’s mostly linked to music and the load I have imprinted on memories to it.

 

And This, I realized I have been a ‘frequent participant’ of based on what I got to understand in the Quantum Mind Self Awareness 18 that I highly recommend to anyone pondering about the ‘negative’ and being having mostly a ‘high’ from all things negative. That’s the shortest way I can describe it, get it  and then you’ll understand what I’m talking about.

 

So, let’s breathe and I’ll begin walking the Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective statements on the following blogs. Thanks for reading

 

 

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182.Feeling-Good will Not Solve the Problems in this World

 

And this same point applies to whenever we talk ourselves ‘positively’ in our minds wanting to only focus on that which will take us ‘out of the dumpster’ of that initial negative reaction toward the realization of having Things-To-Do and creating  an entire act of mindfuckism in order to pretend that it can be done later, that it must be ‘pushed aside’ as it is probably just ‘not a good time now,’ or requiring certain conditions such as a particular scenario, a particular ‘moment of the day,’ weather conditions, even mood for that matter to do something – all of these conditions actually stemming from our limited configuration that we have created toward this physical reality relying on a positive and a negative in order to make decisions in our lives to do or not do things.

I walked the negative reactions in the blogs 174. Sinking in Reactions after Thinking and Not Doing and 176.Imagining the worst case scenario: Obstacles to Protect Self Interest wherein the immediate desire to go for the things that ‘I want to do’ manifest as a thought – such as going out for a walk for example or doing some other task that I prefer doing – and within that single allowance of dimensional shift from me first of all, going into the imagination, future projection and backchatting about the ‘negative’ and all the ‘bad things’ that may come from me doing this or not doing it, we then go into the positive to step out of all the uncomfortable experiences that manifest in a physical manner such as reacting in apathy and sinking in our own mind bubble in an apparent inability to write in that moment, without realizing that writing is just a process of placing the fingers on the keyboard, pressing them in order to make words and that’s it. Any other resistance to do it, we investigate ourselves in our minds and the relationship created toward that physical action based on memories, pictures, future projections, beliefs, all of them self-limitations that we have created based on what? Not having obtained a particular ‘desired outcome’ before in such activity – such as writing and getting a ‘desired result’ out of it – which becomes this belief that we are not ‘good enough’ or we ‘lack’ something in order to accomplish this particular task.

In this I’ll take an example of me working with tools and doing activities that I had defined and limited only to be done by a male, and not ‘any’ male, but specialized people in construction. So, when I was at the farm without a thought I said I would collaborate in building rooms – I could see the thoughts of me doing a job that ‘only males could do’ and that I should rather keep myself to a more ‘gentle work’ – however, I decided to equalize myself within the consideration obviously of what I was able to carry and do based on physical conditions, but I’m talking about using tools such as a drill or sawing machines that I had simply kept in an aura of ‘male work’ and would not get anywhere near by it. Once I simply Did it and physically learned how to operate the tools and machine, I got quite comfortable in working equally within that project, eventually enjoying the expansion of my physical abilities that I had tampered based on a single belief of ‘construction’ being a male-thing type of activity. And so within this single example I can have a reference for myself how typing/ writing cannot be any different to me having proven to myself how I am able to in fact do things when I have no judgment toward the activity in itself, or when I move through the initial judgment/ backchat and simply direct myself to physically do it. Within that action, I broke my own ‘commandment’ of a self-religious belief that I would never see myself working in construction – well, there you go: all it takes is one breath, one decision and it’s done.

So, this is how within any point of procrastination we have to actually see all the background we have formed toward the point we are holding ourselves back from doing and placing a parallel for ourselves such as me and construction and how I was able to move through the belief in one go – and transposing this same action to writing: what is preventing me to write this particular task/ document? And within that, we’ve been walking here so far all the thoughts, imaginations, fantasies, future play outs and the reactions toward such mental activity, which becomes the accumulated experience at a physical level of the participation within all those excuses and beliefs as ‘who I am toward this particular task/ assignment’ and as such, create my own jail nicely locked with beliefs and even hope to somehow not have to get it done.

Therefore, getting back to the point I’m going to discuss now is how from the moment I created a negative reaction toward these self-created beliefs of me not being good enough to do this writing, not being satisfying other’s requirements within this particular task, I submit myself to a negative reaction of apathy and pessimism wherein I simply get ‘stuck’ and not move – all of this discussed in the blogs 179. Apathy as result of High Expectations and 180. Half way done.

Thus, I go immediately seeking to create my positive experience by pushing aside the negative with something that I have programmed myself to react with joy and enthusiasm toward, which in such chases can be me going out for a walk or doing any other ‘task’ at hand that is in no way related to this particular writing/ document that must be done – I mean in terms of computer point, it’s not even that I simply decide to go ‘partying’ instead of working on the document, but a single avoidance of opening the file in the same computer that I will still continue to be working on.

Thus, within the enthusiasm I pull out toward going out for a walk – which is more noticeable as a reaction other than just ‘shifting’ from responsibilities in the computer – I generate this experience of expectation of being out, experiencing the wind, seeing the environment, people, going to get something that I like –e.g. going to the store to buy peanuts, fruits, vegetables or milk – and then having this cool experience of listening to Eqafe interviews on my way back and forth and it’s like the ‘Me’ time of the day, which as I have explained I had created into a religion which doesn’t have to be if I am able to balance my time throughout the day to get to ‘all responsibilities’ without having to now refrain from going out for a walk as that would be separation of course.

So – the positive experience exists as a something ‘better to do’ than the task that we Have to do but have attached to a negative experience wherein we then believe that us actually doing that task will be a ‘bad experience/ unpleasant experience’ which is nothing else but a self-created relationship based on an energetic experience that we have imposed onto a physical-action to do – here it is very clear the relationship between mind over matter and how we have conditioned/ limited and defined everything that we do based on How We Feel About it.

Thus within this reaction of and toward a positive experience when thinking of that other something else we have defined and programmed ourselves to react positively to – with enthusiasm, joy, relaxation etc.-  we backchat ourselves to eventually move ourselves to fulfill that positive experience, stepping over and deliberately neglecting that which we realized had to be done and instead, allow ourselves to be directed by energy as this ‘positive experience’ in order to make it ‘alright’ within ourselves to better do that which we feel ‘good’ about and leave that which we dislike – by self-deluded conclusion – to do it some other time, placing an undefined ‘time’ for it, which can extend for as long as we can continue holding on this diatribe within ourselves of realizing that there’s this ‘something’ as a task/ assignment/ project that must be completed but instead, talk ourselves out of it every single time with pulling out something ‘else’ to do as a ‘better experience.’

And this is how we manipulate our reality – we don’t require ‘super powers’ for it, just the belief that a feel good experience is actually ‘real’ in itself, when we are only making it real based on our own definitions and judgments added to an activity, a something or someone in our reality based on the experience that we created toward ‘them’ in fact, which is then not about the thing/ person or activity in itself, but how we have created a relationship toward that person/ reality/ activity as a feel-good experience within us. This is how it is not to blame for example the ‘walking outside’ in itself, but it’s about the relationship that I have created within my mind of that single physical action of walking outside – which is rather cool and beneficial at a physical level – and instead made it an entire action drenched in positive experience which serves My purpose and My demand for a positive experience every time that I step into the moment wherein I realize that I have a particular task that I have been procrastinating and is required to be done.

 

In this if we look at our entire world system that is not functioning properly as an equal point of benefit for all, instead of realizing that a solution is required in order to support all bodies of existence equally through redefining the means to acquire – money – no longer being a point of power/ positive energy in itself, but as a single rights document to have all the necessary points to live, we continue using the very representation of our decision to ‘opt for the good feeling’ remedy, which in this case is using money to have that which satisfies us which, even though we realize it is being a point of harm and abuse as the current relationship that such money represents within this physical reality is not of equality as in not everyone being given money to live, which means that it only serves a minority’s desires and living necessities. We are essentially using money to get trapped in the belief of ‘well being’ that is being provided by a tool that has become the very instrument of extortion and abuse in order to fulfill a minority’s positive experience such as having a fulfilling life which should Not be even defined as a ‘positive experience’ if we could simply remove the negative aspect created of such positivity by distributing money to all beings equally. This is how every time that I participate in a feel bad experience as ‘the negative,’ I am accepting and allowing the very existence of this world in its ‘negative aspect’ such as all the problems that ‘lacking money’ signify in this world that is created as consequential outflow from the desire to have a positive experience in life which is translated at all times to ‘having money’ to do so.

Therefore, from a greater perspective, would I have the ability to create a positive experience in my mind and actually have the means and opportunity to ‘play it out’ if I was a slave-worker in the Chinese Factories that manufacture high-tech devices that only a minority can acquire and have a positive experience with? Could I in such a position of being mostly in a ‘prison-factory’ be able to decide not to work that day? No, I would most likely be fired and or simply left to starve that day for not having ‘earned’ my money to sustain myself – and this is actually the reality that people are really going through on a daily basis. Now, this is something that places every minute bullshit excuse that I may have into perspective, as I see that the motivation for me to do any task at all times is to do and be and act and create everything required to manifest a world wherein people will no longer be striving to make a living or be high-on ‘positive experiences’ built, for example, with the slave-work badly paid to people that have no option but to work in such a compulsive manner in order to satisfy what should be given-unconditional support for them to LIVE a life and not just ‘strive’ to remain breathing and selling themselves a workforce that sustains someone else’s positive experience, which is us.

 

Thus the responsibility in all aspects and dimensions of ourselves are ‘in our hands’ obviously, us people that can have a computer to write and have an education and get prepared to create and manifest a world that is in fact just and supportive in all aspects wherein we won’t have to deceive ourselves with positive or negative energies as there will be no ‘balancing act’ to play out if everyone is equally supported, which will obviously transform the very way we ‘think’ our reality – hence the way we Live our reality.

This is a self-note then, every time that I indulge into a positive experience or a feel better, I am the very motor of this world that perpetuates someone else’s enslavement to a job that exists to sustain this ‘positive and progressive civilization’ and to realize that I am squandering an opportunity to stand up for life as well within this – because it is in the very decisions  we make throughout our day that we are able to make a change which is focusing on what we require to do, be and become to stand as an example of how it is possible to be self directive at a physical level, and no longer serve the mind of energy as all the positivity that we have indulged in and is no different to thinking ‘positive’ to solve the problems in this world. The moment we ‘act’ from and of positive thinking, we are supporting and recreating and manifesting the separation and absurd inequality in this world wherein I actually have the ability to ‘chose’ what to do while others are inevitably bound to doing one thing repeatedly for 18 hours a day to barely make a living – and I am not willing to remain as a part of this chain that bounds all equally to the same drain – hence the Importance of studying and supporting the implementation of the Equal Money System

 

Time to Wake up

This will continue within the procrastination character and the responsibility toward the physical reality as the consequences that I manifest within myself as the whole whenever I allow myself to not be consistent, constant and diligent in all aspects of my reality.

 

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Supportive series to understand how what we do / don’t do at an individual level affect the whole in actual physical reality:

 

Vlogs in response to a positive thinking promoter:

Matti
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Gabriel Zamora Moreno
Kim Kline
Maya Harel
Marlen Vargas Del Razo
Julieta Zochi

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