Tag Archives: knowledge

403. How to Stop Living in Defense Mode

I have previously discussed how it is that we condition ourselves to create/put on a hard veneer in order to – let me be frank – not be fucked with/bullied/attacked by others and how this becomes like a second skin growth to actually make up for an initial experience of being vulnerable or having felt attacked by others words/actions. Here we can see how we condition each other to be constantly expecting the worst from one another, and so becoming the ‘fighters’ in the battlefield that we’ve created of our lives.

There are various reasons for this, one can be survival which is the way we have conditioned ourselves, our human nature to be guarding our own interest out of fear of others taking it away or abusing each other to get the most with the least effort etc. Another one is more related to that ‘attack’ that exists as a violent action toward one another, verbally/psychologically speaking while at the same time having the possibility to escalate to become physical as well. This is how I could see that we begin ‘corrupting’ ourselves0 when taking each others words personally, as a ‘personal attack’ and so create it in the form of bullying or ‘trollism’ as it exists now.

Here I’ll focus on a rather simply form in which I’ve noticed my own ‘defense-mode’ and what are the reasons for it. I’ve been actively participating in answering/interacting on YouTube and forums wherein I have had one of the most vivid evidences of how we can attack each other just for the sake of winning a ‘battle’ in our minds, just for the sake of ‘being right’ and making one another look like ‘an ass’ because ‘they are wrong’ and so in essence co-creating  just another virtual battlefield to breed human hatred or perpetuate the ‘Divide and Conquer’ mind frames which I initially would react to in an emotional way upon reading such denigrating, defaming,, spiteful, violent and even life threatening comments we would get on a daily basis as a result of what we publish, which is all about life in equality, living rights, what is best for everyone, etc.

So, looking back,  this is what I see as a cool ‘training ground’ when it comes to facing the REAL human nature and not only see the one I had believed in  – such as the good nature one – while being locked in my ‘home bubble’ and my limited environment with limited interactions, where I yes certainly did face bullying and backstabbing from ‘friends’ at an early age, prompting me into quite a ‘depression ‘ at the age of 7, 8 because of not being able to fathom such ‘harm’ imposed toward me from another at first, until I had the support from my mother to realize I did not have to take others words/actions personally – which was great support and led me to become rather independent from sheeple mentality while going through school. I did, however, become somewhat defensive in my personality, I could say that yes I had clear principles but a lot of it was also from the starting point of showing ‘others’ that ‘you can’t mess around with me,’ it worked to a certain extent – but what happens when that ‘veneer’ becomes ‘who you are’ and how one dictates one’s every interaction?

 

I see that the defense-mode that I am able to act out upon in one moment actually stems from acting once again based on past experiences/memories where I still place myself in such ‘defense mode’ meaning being ready to be ‘attacked’ from the moment that I, for example,  read a YouTube comment and so, instead of unconditionally reading the words that a person is placing, I already see where I can ‘find the point they are missing out on’ or what they are ‘defending’ or where they are trying to ‘prove me wrong, so that I can ‘point it out back’ and so this is something that I became used to do back in the day where we were certainly first becoming more aware of what each person implied in their words, which has been supportive nonetheless. But I see that I require to now and from here on step down from continuing that mechanism/way; this actually happened to me yesterday where I did thankfully get feedback from the person that I replied to on YouTube saying: “Marlen? I commented because you right on the money!  Thank You!”  The first word as my name with a question mark implying that they probably didn’t understand why I had replied in such a ‘harsh’ manner. And so I realized that I had come through toward him in the same old ‘attack-mode’ and ‘defense-mode’ instead of just seeing where the person is coming with the comment, what I can agree on as that’s our common ground and then expanding a bit on it without having the starting point of ‘proving him wrong’ or judging his very reply for not considering all points that I see but simply focusing on what I can do to assist and support to expand on the points brought up and create a conversation from there.

Assist and support here are the key points, not to ‘defend my point’ or ‘defend my cause’ because that’s what creates the battlefield on YouTube, but rather keeping it simple when answering back and inviting the person to continue the dialogue instead of wanting ‘them’ to ‘change’ all of a sudden toward Me and what I have to say, as that would be me as ego wanting validation/acceptance from others right away. The same point applies when I have deemed others as being ‘defensive’ toward me and so judging others as ‘being on defense mode’/being on attack-mode but it is really only me projecting my perception upon them because I’ve ‘been there/done that too.

 

So the key here is to then when and as I see myself reading comments, reading/hearing another’s words, I assist and support myself to not go into the predisposition of fighting/ attacking another based on the belief/assumption that ‘they are here to attack me first’ and so, instead allow me to read the comment/words unconditionally, without expectations or already ‘sharpening my knife’ to ‘get back at them,’ as I see that within this starting point I perpetuate the conflict and not allow myself to be really HERE with/as the words written/spoken and so be able to interact/reply back within the consideration of what I can learn from what the person is explaining, what I can learn from them, where I see that I agree upon to also reply back and letting the person know I also see that/agree with it.

This implies: Seeing where there is a point where I can share from my own realizations, self investigations and not only from knowledge and information, all of this within the consideration of placing myself in another’s shoes, taking into consideration the words in one YouTube comment, one email, one conversation and ‘walking with’ to expand on a point of cognitive dissonance, misinformation, belief, or an emotional reaction to the points explained, so that I can also point it out in a considerate non-defensive, non-attacking, non-aggressive manner which means explaining to another a point the same way I would want another to explain it to me: with patience, with humbleness and gentleness so as to be able to let the other person know that I do stand as these principles I talk about at all times, this is who I am and this is the consideration, care, gentleness and humbleness toward others that I commit myself to live by when interacting with them, so as to not come through as ‘me having the truth’ or ‘me having to be always right’ but being also willing to see my faults, my mistakes, where I reacted to another’s words and so take responsibility for such reactions myself.

 

So to not go into ‘denial’ of my actions, which is what the vlog was about in fact wherein I received such comment, here I stand directive of such point which opened up yesterday and so I am directing it here, as I see that if I want to create a world of transparency, integrity and trust, I have to be doing just that myself, seeing, realizing, understanding my mistakes, my reactions, investigate where they ‘come from,’ understand them, self forgive them and most importantly, give myself a new direction as to how I am going to be living these corrections from now on whenever I interact with another.

 

 

Self Forgiveness and Self Correction

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a predisposition of ‘having to defend myself’ when replying to YouTube Comments or replying to others’ words whether written or in a conversation, instead of realizing how I perpetuate my own memories of the past and even from my childhood of how I had to be ‘wary’ of people’s words and actions toward me, which is why I became ‘edgy’ as well, not being able to trust others and as I’ve explained before, this is not about ‘trusting others’ but rather trusting me in being able to read/hear words in stability and be able to support myself unconditionally to interact, reply back within the consideration of what is self-supportive both for ‘them’ and ‘myself’ as two or more individuals establishing a communication and settling the way to create a point of communal understanding – not fighting or ‘proving each other right/wrong’

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize how I am in fact perpetuating the current status quo in our relationships where we have focused so much on the winner/loser mentality, the ‘attacker’ and the ‘attacked,’ the bully and the bullied and where we believe that we constantly have to be ‘defending’ ourselves which can only exist if we are ‘coming from’ a starting point of ego as in seeing others as enemies, as ‘the problem,’ as ‘the ignorant ones and oneself being the ‘right one,’ through which we approach another from the vantage point of seeing another as inferior to myself and so believing that I have to ‘educate them’ with ‘what I know’ instead of being actually grateful that there are people that are still willing to reply in a comment to a YouTube video and so be able to hear/get to know what others’ perspectives on a subject and learn from it, see where we still have to ‘align’ our understanding, what are the main points where there is still a point tampering self-realization,  as well as being willing to correct ourselves if necessary and in the possible measure, being able to support and assist another to expand themselves a bit more – maybe point out some aspects they can do further investigation on, other blogs or vlogs to watch/read and so not immediately ‘showing the way out’ when the entire starting point of commenting by the other individual is to precisely establish communication and be able to continue it in the best possible way.

I realize that in our world nothing will be changing if we do not first focus on being able to get to hear /read one another, see where there is a common ground and build it from there, thus no longer existing in the ‘I’ll prove you wrong’ mentality.

 

I also realize that I have to be aware of not seeing myself as ‘the victim’ that is going to be ‘abused/attacked by others’ as in this position of victimization I then justify my ‘getting back at’ others as in ‘having to defend myself’ which is why in this world we, for example, allow the use and existence of guns, because we give into this mentality that ‘I have to protect myself, I have to be armed’ without first investigating why and what causes this abuse in the first place.

 

I realize that I have to stop projecting my past, and my ‘mind-frame’ that I had built around ‘commenting on YouTube’ as in ‘getting myself  into a battlefield’ and instead, read the comments from the starting point of being able to support myself, to learn from another, to see where I can improve my communication, identify and recognize where I wasn’t clear/what I missed and so expand through this communication instead of already wanting to ‘end’ the interaction by placing a comment that could be seen as ‘sparking up reactions’ which previously I had defined as supportive for the person to ‘face themselves’ but, we are in a different stage in our process so I now apply the point of being gentle and supportive with others, the same way that I would like a ‘stranger’ on YouTube to reply to my messages and comments as well, doing to another what I would like to be done unto in the same situation and in all cases for that matter.

 

I commit myself to use the opportunity of interacting with others either through comments on a website, on a forum, on every day conversations/interactions so that I can expand and support myself while at the same time assisting and supporting another, because it is in these seemingly ‘irrelevant’ or ‘small moments’ that actual windows of opportunity exist to ‘connect’ to others and let them also realize that there are solutions, there are people that do not fall into the usual patterns of the divide and conquer mentality, and so this is what I commit myself to living in all aspects of my everyday living and interactions with people from around the globe through the marvelous platform that the Internet is.

 

I commit myself to redirect my judgments upon others being ‘in a defense mode’ and instead be able to in such moments immediately take the point back to self and direct myself toward another in a way wherein I can apply consideration, humbleness, gentleness to place myself in their shoes so that I am able to best support them and expanding ourselves through using words or even behavior, voice tonality that indicates in stability that I am here, I hear you, I understand you, let’s clarify this/let’s expand on this/ have you considered this point about this that you mentioned here? so that it is and becomes a more ‘inviting’ way to continue interacting with another.

 

I commit myself to walk through my own ‘predisposition’ of being in this ‘defense-mode’ so that I can stand here, clear, open, available and willing to communicate and direct another’s questions and sometimes even curiosity and not fall into the ‘attacking-mode’ but to genuinely be able to consider their starting point and so walk-with, instead of walking-against others.

 

I commit my self to live the realization that ‘the enemy’ is really myself and my own assumption, my own mind, my own projections which means that in practicality I am then going to be open to read/hear words without going into reaction, without already ‘preparing’ my artillery to shoot with a barrage of points that have nothing to do with what was initially said either, but to also keep it simple and ‘grow’ the conversation from there.

 

I commit myself to only reply to comments/written and spoken interactions when I have given myself a ‘moment of clarity’ which means when I have breathed and ensured that I am in fact stable, here, that I am taking responsibility for my initial reactions or starting point toward another, and so be more open, willing and available for genuine communication, ensuring I have no interference/noise as my own reactions preventing me from hearing/reading another unconditionally.

 

I commit myself to ‘take back to self’ any judgments I may had toward ‘others’ as ‘them being the attackers’ or ‘them being in a defense-mode’ as in fact, that would mean me reacting in ego towards ego – lol – so the best way to interact with another is to work with the common sense of looking at words themselves, no assumptions, rather asking what they in fact mean if the point is not clear, but generally not jumping into assumptions, not taking my own knowledge, my own ego into consideration when interacting with others, as that’s where the shifts happen and the divide and conquer mentality is re-created, wherein I perceive that another is ‘not the same as myself’ and so I have to ‘prove them wrong’ according to me, which is where the problem exists.

So I instead commit myself to focus on directing the words, the comments, the situation for what it is, devoid of past grudges, preconditioning, preprogramming of ‘how I deal with others that I perceive are attacking me’ as I then live the realization that the ‘attack’ only exists in my mind as memories and experiences that I create when I take another’s words personally or as ‘going against me’ which is the ego-starting point of reading/hearing another, when we ‘take it personally’ instead of realizing that each one’s words relate to oneself only, and so I take self-responsibility.

 

I commit myself to in fact become a pillar of support for myself and others which means I cannot judge, I cannot avoid another or see them as ‘less than myself’ or as ‘ignorant’ but instead assist and support myself and others to transcend such limitations of the mind to work with what we have as our statements, see what we can agree upon and expand it from there, as Self Support.

 

So instead I am grateful that this point opened up so I could see what I was doing in this interaction and so be able to give it direction here for once and for all – so, thanks Tyler.

 

7.      Living the Principle of Self Awareness – to be aware, to see, to recognize my own thoughts and Mind, to be self honest to the extent where I can take responsibility for when I see my thoughts / Mind is not what is best for me / others and commit to immediately take responsibility and change for myself and so for others

The Desteni of Living – My Declaration of Principle

 

 

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344. Integrity in Equal Money

 

“It is Essential that Human Integrity as Life Equal be Restored as the Fundamental Rule of Law in this World. Call Out Those that protect Inequality, Become Politically Wise – Install a New Government, through Democracy and Re-Educate the Abusers of Life; in the same way they now keep Millions in the Chains of Inequality – ‘till they Repent and Show through their Actions that they Also Care about Life.”
– Bernard Poolman

 

Continuing:

 

 

 

Problem                                                                

“We’ve become dependent on fear as a survival instinct and so actually fear commonsense and integrity as it is experienced/believed to be a ‘weakness’ – you have to live in fear in order to survive as the law in the matrix goes” – Sunette Spies

 

  • The result of our abdication of self responsibility to the laws and mechanisms in which our physical reality visibly operates is expressed in the current organizations and institutions that we have become so ashamed of and continuously complain about, which are the  product of our primordial disregard of ourselves being one and the same organism that is subject to physical laws that enable life to exist. Instead, we created these external entities to become the deposits of our rights that we signed off when agreeing to become part of a system wherein money as our creation meant our ‘indebted access’ to have a dignified living. This means that we lost our integrity the moment that we placed ourselves to be subject to laws that were never equated to guard and ensure a constitution of life in Equality.

 

“You are in this World, because: You Have No Responsibility, No Integrity and because you have Never Cared about Life in the Universe throughout All Time. You are, in a way, in a Prison. A Prison you created for yourself. You’re Not Going to Get out of This one…not here or in the hereafter without facing consequence, taking responsibility for it and changing for oneself and so for all as self.” – Bernard Poolman 

 

  • What we face as our current world system is the product and manifestation of our abdication to Life in Equality. What does this mean? That the same system of oppression, or scarcity, of lies, of corruption, of hierarchical structures and imposition of power to generate fear is in fact the mirror of every single relationship that we formed in self interest, seeking for our individual benefit only in separation of ourselves as one and equal. This means that the imposition of ourselves as our Ego, our Mind, our Personalities, our Preferences, our Opinions, our Thoughts, our Emotions and Feelings, our Desires over the Physical matter is what became and exists now as the violation of our own ‘right to life’ where no Self Respect toward ourselves, toward the life that is here as ourselves and in the various Life Forms exists – instead  we have turned each other and this world into assets for our benefit and indiscriminate consumption. Life after life we have lived throughout generations guarding these interests as laws that we enforced to every single child born into our world without a question.

 

  • We made of our so-called Free Will and Free Choice that individual ‘course of action’ that determined the ability to abuse one another through the acceptance and allowance of self-interest, superiority and personal satisfaction of security and power over the common well being. Every single word that we have used to denigrate or deify something or someone became the symbols of power that we imposed onto ourselves as a sign of our Inability to See what is Real and Live according to it.

    All the suffering, harm and abuse  as the result  disintegration became a reality when  we imposed meanings, values as experiences over matter and made ourselves subject to it, instead of doing the process the other way around: ourselves becoming the direct beneficiaries of every single word thought and lived as a result of an understanding of ourselves as creators of our reality through the values imposed onto matter and experiences at a mind level, disregarding the physical laws and considerations wherein clearly no spec of matter has been regarded as equal, instead it has been always gauged according to the system of values that serves the Human Mind, the Human Nature that became the accepted and allowed behavior of ourselves as species, indoctrinating every individual to integrate the same patterns generation after generation, wherein some symbols became our gods – like money – and some others became the experiences in which we all got ‘lost’ and confused while missing physical reality, and dare it to call it our ‘human nature’ such as our desire to win, our desire to have more than others, our rejoice in emotions or feelings and any other mind activity that is never evident as an integral part of our physicality, because it is only existent at a mind level, as our creation.

 

  • What we regarded as ‘Our Human Nature’ in the form of emotions and feelings became the greatest distractor and consent enter-tamement to not question the laws, the rules, the systems in which we’re living in, but instead merely complied to them as a sign of ‘resignation’ because no one else seemed to be noticing how inherently flawed and wrong the system is, no one dared to question the abuse, the suffering, the poverty, the absolute madness and absurdity of how we bound ourselves to a system of values where money became an abstraction that contains the value of our work to obtain what we require to live – a giving and receiving in separation of an integral equality process, instead we became the embodiments of a an unequal relationship between what dictates in our minds and what our body requires to exist. Therefore it is through our very own laws and belief systems that we enslaved ourselves to what we believed in our minds is real, ignoring physical reality evidence of such facts being true as an inherent part of the matter and the physical.

 

  • Our integrity has been non existent from the moment we give our power away as the breath of life to exist in multiple ‘states of mind’ leading ourselves to feel ‘superior’ or ‘inferior’ to the physicality that we are, which is clearly indicating that we’ve always lived in a continuous separation from the integrity of our physical body that is as constant and consistency as the physicality that is nurtured and reconstituted in every singe breath that we take.

 

  • Our political system, our monetary system, our economy, our social structures denote the exact opposite of this physical relationship of equality and oneness that we could hold as ourselves and toward one another. This is the physical integrity that we have lacked in our words, which became our laws and eventual authorities wherein we created fictional entities to take care after ourselves. We created our kings, our policemen, our judges, our monetary system, our politicians, because they all represent the violation of our individual right to life in Self Responsibility.

 

 

Solution                                                              

Integrity and Standing in Reality is Not Determined by a ‘Piece of Paper.’” – Bernard Poolman
  • Words that stand as the law of our being of Equality and Oneness, lived and applied as a physical consistency of the recognition of who we are as life are the key and way to ensure that we establish our individual an collective Integrity by our individual decision to live according to that which is best for all.

 

  • The process of Self Forgiveness wherein we  take Self Responsibility for the Accepted and Allowed Mind-Nature as thoughts, emotions, feelings  that we have imposed onto ourselves as physical beings is the way to  establish our definitive integrity. This is for us to understand how we created relationships of self diminishment or self aggrandizement in self-interest, causing the tumor as an overgrowth  that indicates the violation of the physical matter of Equality. This Self Forgiveness Process is the key to understand our individual and collective participation in the current outcome we’re living in as our society and world system. This responsibility comes with immediate self-directive solutions that are understood and lived at an individual level to create and establish the Law of our Being in Equality.

 

  • Money as the creation and manifestation of such system of self-abuse will also become the solution; this is within the principle of ‘Like Cures Like’ wherein we are determined to make of money a tool that represents this reintegration of Equality and equalize its function to our physical breathing, which means it will become a guaranteed giving and receiving of the resources we require to live, it is an insurance to maintain our physical integrity where all parts are equally supported, which will translate into an  integral society where relationships are formed in an interdependent manner, existing in a one and equal recognition of our responsibility to live. This implies absolute self directive principles to grant each other the right to live that is not ‘demanded,’ but instead founded and created through our collective ability to honor ourselves and each other as equals.

 

  • Once that money ceases to exist as the driving force within our lives, actual integrity will emerge in our society which will create new forms of entertainment, of relationships, of social interactions that will be based on mutual support and understanding where no ‘hidden interests’ will exist in an attempt to harm or abuse for personal gain. This means that our ability to stop abuse will form part of our ability to construct this integrity as who we are: no abuse, no harm and no disregard will be accepted or allowed to exist.

Rewards                                                  

  • Living Self-Integrity is the foundation of a fear-less society where each one’s words can be measured according to the actions lived that generate the Best Living condition for all.  It is the actual consideration, understanding and regard to guard each one’s well being as our own which will result in a mutual honor that has never before been existent in our society toward each part of ourselves as one and equal. 

 

  • Self Honesty is the principle in which we recognize that our individual well being is founded upon our ability to respond and act in the best interest of all, which creates the relationships of self support, dignity, respect, compassion and consideration to one another once that we live in a world where another is seen as an equal part of ourselves and no longer someone to fear, abuse, extort or compete against.

 

  • The living of our individual Integrity leads to generate the necessary foundation to establish Self Trust within ourselves and toward one another to ensure that no matter where we are, what we say and the decisions we make, we are always acting according to that which is best for all which is the manifestation and living practicality of what Love and Honor should be. This is the key to manifest a heaven on Earth but for that, we have to establish our Self Honesty and Self Forgiveness first – this is the Individual process we’re walking and invite you to participate within the understanding that Education is the first step to understand where, how and why we separated ourselves from life.

 

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Equal Money Capitalism The Future of Integrity

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238. I KNOW I Can

 

‘You KNOW You Can’ – Yes, but from Knowing to Doing there is Quite a Road to actually Walk.

Through repetition according to how other define us, we end up believing that ‘we are’ in fact that which we hear others say about ourselves. I have shared how people formed this opinion of me being ‘intelligent and responsible’ and I simply, as mind/ consciousness system,’ decided to direct my life in a way wherein I would not have to be/ act such role any longer- why? Because I had gotten ‘sick of it’ as if such things that I had considered as ‘normal traits’ within me were suddenly more of a course than a gift of sorts. Why? Because of the obvious disparity it created. I could not fathom why someone had to struggle a lot through school and I hadn’t, and they would study ‘a lot’ and still get the minimum grade. While I could spend hours just watching TV, leaving the studies for 12:00 am for my test the next morning. This became a habit since junior high school. Then it later on became a single assumption ‘I don’t have to study/ I don’t have to do that, I simply Know that I can do it’ – and I could, because I realized that one required to ‘pay attention’ to the class and with that you would get most of what you required to get a good grade – that’s where my focus and attention was, but not so much any more in studying in itself – again the memory point.

 

I do remember that whenever I was more apprehensive about school, which was around the first years of elementary school, I would be so nervous and anxious about my exams, I would do multiple questionnaires to aid me to study all the material for exams, writing supported me a lot to integrate the knowledge this way, even doing the so call ‘cheating little papers’ you know where you place potential answers for your exams and so forth, even just by having done those, I would not actually require to take them out during the exam, because writing had supported with me integrating the information for the moment. This is a cool point to consider and that I suggest when working with knowledge and information as required within school: write down with pen and paper what you see are the main points, like summing up the basic points that you require to learn. It assists with also being able to identify the core points of a writing and synthesize it with key words – even doing mind maps/ concept maps became another way of studying, which was then done as normal school work – not precisely ‘exam task’ – and so, I could just read through the mind map before exam and get the basics, pass well and the job was done.

 

My mother would tell me: you shouldn’t worry about the exams, only those that Do Not Know should worryYou Know You Can. And so that created quite a sense of confidence within me, like hey silly me, yes I can, why am I worrying then? And I mean, obviously this is My own point and my own fuckup – mother is not really the cause here – but I developed this ‘over confidence’ about the point, because as the title of the blog says ‘I Know’ and it became like a Self-Faith as me being capable of Doing things, even mind projecting myself already getting it all done and having no problem at all and having the greatest grades. Well, it did happen this way – among with the regular school work that I would definitely do as an extension of myself, meaning to me doing homework was like going to the toilet after you’ve eaten= there is no separation from taking knowledge and then working on it as your homework. Of course the level of integration varied from information to information according to the definitions I had given myself to with regards to certain subjects – like digging more subjects like English, Spanish, History, Social Sciences than Physics or Math – however I would pull out the show without a problem.

 

The ‘problem’ then came up when, within this over-confidence – I started following the law of the least effort, not giving it my ‘all’ in school – and this I have written about a lot in terms of my career which for other reasons I simply ‘walked through to get it done – but the situation is how this ‘I Know I Can’ became an ego entity speaking to itself wherein no actual push, no actual will to develop oneself further was instigated from my side, because I believe that I was ‘cool’ with what I had as a so called skill or ability, essentially me reducing myself to this ‘ability/ skill’ and Con.Forming to it, like a form of mediocrity in fact – no wonder I had judged people as ‘mediocre’ because I have stepped into it myself.

 

So this is a blow for the ‘intellectual ego’ because as much as I thought I was Not ‘intelligent’ as people would see or perceive me to be, I ended up somehow believing it was real and that I was just trying to be modest or something, which is all just a plain mindfuck personality-system playing hot and cold from pole to pole within one single self-definition, without realizing that Life/ Living is Not a Knowing, it is a Doing. And from ‘knowing’ that one can be good at something, that one can excel, that one can pull out a certain project in an absolute ‘flawless’ manner to the actual Doing of it, here’s a Long way to actually physically walk.

 

This is thus the mind-superiority as an over-confident ego that will only have ‘everything under control/ everything planned’ it’s almost like ‘I got it all wrapped up under my sleeve’ as a magic trick where no actual Doing is seen. This is what happens the moment I came to live the definition of ‘I know that I can’ without taking that mind abstraction to a physical level of actually Doing it.

 

And so the only reason why we can give ourselves this ‘time’ to only ‘think about things’ and not doing it, is because we’re not in a survival mode or actually having our lives depending on actually Moving ourselves to do something, regardless of how ‘master/ good’ or ‘bad’ you see yourself within a task. It is absolutely irrelevant to know ‘who you are’ without placing that beingness into application, it is actually quite a spiteful mode to live in wherein we ‘know our potential’ but follow the law of the least effort, just because – again – our lives do not depend on it, or so we believe.

 

This is a proof of how it is only through fear and threats that we stop assuming ‘who we are’ and actually walk the road to see what we have accepted and allowed ourselves to become when creating this pedestal for ourselves as our minds while placing the least dedication and walking our lives in a half assed manner that only lead us to feel further ‘fucked up’ within it all, because we KNOW what we are doing, but we’re not doing anything to change the point, to direct ourselves – and this is what I can spot as the money-laziness which permeates our lives, wherein within this apathetic view upon reality we believe that ‘there’s nothing worth continuing living for, everything is fucked’ – but, we haven’t realized that such ‘fuckedupness’ is our own manifested consequence to live this law of the least effort and living a mediocre way of existing that only perpetuates the old ways in which we have lived thus far, which is certainly not honoring ourselves and each other as Life, but only mimicking survival mechanisms to ‘get by’ within this world and have no intention at all for changing our own situation within this, nor the greater picture of the world system for that matter.

 

So this is part of what I will be walking in relation to the ‘Intelligent Character’ as Self Definition, stemming from the ‘greater branch’ that I’ve been walking as the Elitist Character, because there would be no ‘intelligent character’ in place if I didn’t have the money to live in an elitist way, which is having money to live in dignity and have basic services and education, which is something that the majority in this world Don’t Have – that already places into question any form of ‘human intelligence’ that has not come up with any ‘bright idea’ to stop our limited accepted and allowed world-condition, that is until now.

 

Support the Equal Money System to understand then how we don’t require to be Nobel-Prize winners to come up with the brightest most revolutionary way to change this world system and as such, change the way we live life on Earth forever, an actual Doing stemming from a practical living consideration.

 

“the Problem that Exist, where the Platform is Infused with Religious Doctrine throughout Childhood, and all the Conclusions that the Mind will Jump to when giving Value to Experiences where the Person would Regard the Experience as ‘Evidence’ that their ‘Knowledge’ is in fact ‘True’. And Obviously, these Experiences will be Repeated, because – the Mind will Search out, That which the Individual Seek to Prove to itself. And so, Falling in the Trap of the ‘Assumption God’, becomes a very simple thing as Evidenced by multiple groups on Earth with Very Diverse Views, all Claiming to have Evidence and Experience “that their Version of God, is the True God”.” – Bernard Poolman *

 

This explanation is describing essentially our self-religion where the self as the mind believes everything we talk ourselves into for an extended period of time, it is thus trusting our own ‘god’ that works upon energetic experiences but, little is ever  actually taken into application. It is no different to when you are high and imagine these beautiful ideas, creations, plans and you think you got it all ‘sorted out’ in your mind, but, when you hit the ground and realize the actual steps to do it, one simply realizes that it’s easy to dream on, and that there is a definitive distance from this imagination/ projection point to the actual doing. After all assuming that ‘we know’ is how gods are created, and look at where we have lead ourselves within this ‘god Idea’ of self – to the verge of destruction because no actual Self-Responsibility is taken.

 

Thus, committing egocide as this knowledgeable character is certainly going to be a point to reveal the assumptions of having these ‘qualities’ that were never in fact ‘Real’ as it all only existed as consciousness/ mind ego that would allow myself to get some desired results in a very limited system which is our current schooling system, and dared to accept and allow myself to call that ‘intelligence’ or even ‘responsibility’ for that matter, since I was absolutely unaware of the actual responsibility we hold toward the creation of this entire world, as well as the actual IntelliSense that would be required to become a living being that considers and Does what is best for all, not just creates a nice concept about it to then ‘live it out later’ or something like that.

 

This is thus a preventive point of support to educate children and ourselves to stop holding ourselves in ‘higher ranks’ for the lies that we’ve been told about who we are, and instead live and apply it, walking the talk is the greatest gift one can give to oneself, to learn and establish an actual self trust that is not based on assumptions, self-beliefs and ego props, but simple self-applied verification of what we are in fact capable of, and within this stop this intellectual form of ‘positive thinking’ that only feeds the who we Believe ourselves to be, but we haven’t lived as an actuality of who we are in every moment and aspect of our lives – not only ‘schooling’ systems and such.

 

Is the ‘I Know’ then quite a spiteful point to live as or even speak? I have certainly experienced that  – therefore

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to voice out or think the phrase ‘I Know’ as a single statement of being aware of what I am doing, but not actually DOING anything to change it, which reveals to what extent we are protected by our own minds to face the consequences of our ‘knowing’ while being protected also by the money that allows us to us to remain within this ‘knowing’ phase but doing nothing to actually direct ourselves fully in our world and reality. 

I commit myself to walk this point of knowing vs. doing not as an antagonist situation, but a single realization that we have valued ‘who we are’ as our minds and within this neglected the reality of ourselves to an actual Doing and Living – which is also why it is suggested to consider who we would be in a dire situation of actually having nothing to eat or nowhere to stay and dare to say ‘yes I know’ and not do anything at all to change one’s condition. Thus, the money-mattress point is something that must be debunked in order to, as the lady in the Giving Up Interview says ‘Place some fire under our asses’ and actually give the totality of ourselves, our full physical ability and capability to everything that we do and dedicate ourselves to learn how to live on a daily basis, because others are in fact waiting for us to decide to live to establish a supportive system for all in this world that is our physical consequence and responsibility.

 

This will continue.

 

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236. Perfect Slave with Badges of Honor

“from Intelligence to IntelliSENSE would be the process from knowledge and information, to commonsense practical reasoning” – Sunette Spies

 

Continuing from:

 

Self Forgiveness on the Intelligence Character:

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define intelligence according to ‘having good grades in school’ and being recognized as superior/  more than others for that.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to link intelligence to responsibility within the context of how I developed this skill of being able to learn/memorize things and do the respective tasks/ assignments at school in a timely and precise manner which suited the character of being ‘intelligent and responsible’ within the context of school only, believing that I was in fact ‘intelligent’ and ‘responsible’ as form of special trait within me, without realizing they were just skills developed and used within only a particular field of my reality such as school, yet in terms of other aspect of myself I would not be responsible and would not be common sensical to question reality further than what I was taught about it, which proves then that intelligence was a self-belief fueled by others within my reality as ‘who I am.’

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create a relationship of self definition toward knowledge and information as ‘what I am good for’ in terms of working with it, memorizing it and as such due to how our school system is configured, the more you memorize stuff = the more intelligent you are considered – within this missing out an actual ability to discern what is of real value in this world as life and physicality, just because of learning how to cultivate and attain this ‘superiority’ of mind, that actually only serves the same system as the world system that is configured as our individual minds, within this supporting the inherent separation that we’ve become as fully fledged mind systems that disregard the physicality that we are as equality, learning to value life within the mind according to knowledge and information that later on becomes money to sell oneself within the system in order to be able to live – that’s what our knowledge and information has served then: energy and not life.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define, consider and believe that intelligence was a ‘positive trait’ within human beings as something that I had to cultivate, without ever being actually common sensical about this association and placing it within the context of how the world is functioning where no super-intelligent being has made use of such intelligence to present and promote solutions that could change the way we live and participate within this world, within an actual regard of what’s best for all. This is what must be now regarded as an actual intelligence as intelliSense that is able to be cultivated, promoted and integrated within human beings through us sharing how we have come to understand that we have never lived in common sense, but only followed knowledge and information as ‘who we are,’ separating ourselves from our own physicality and diminishing ourselves to be this limited version as a database that is functional within only a certain aspect in our reality. Not at all what Living Life should be about.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that such intelligence was dependent on the ability to memorize and how I created a relationship to memorize knowledge and information with certain ‘ease’ according to the environment and the conditions I was brought up in – For more explanation on this, hear the Quantum Mind Self Awareness Part 37 that explains how Language is formed and as such, what our ‘intelligence’ in fact is.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get excited every time that I would be able to absorb more knowledge and information within the belief that ‘the more I know/ memorize and accumulate, the More I am’ but not from a reality-understanding perspective, but just piling up the data of knowledge and information that we have to go through within our education and define myself according to it, within this creating a positive experience toward learning, which I also judged because I was supposed to ‘hate school’ as everyone else did, but I didn’t – therefore

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to copy the perspectives of people toward school/ learning as something that is not desirable, and creating an entire self definition according to ‘who I am’ as in secretly enjoying the accumulation of knowledge and information and build a self definition around it, while keeping an opposite façade toward my peers so that I would not be able to be called a nerd or any other name that is pejorative toward anyone that is ‘good’ in school.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to place this ‘extra value’ toward who I am as this ‘intelligent character’ without realizing that it wasn’t really a ‘virtue’ but only knowledge and information that I had a certain ability to imprint/ memorize within myself, but, being also aware of how there was no practical application for that, other than getting ‘good grades’ in school and being able to explain how things work from what I read in books, which implies that all I have ever done as my supposed ‘intelligence’ was copying-pasting information in my mind to be able to use it as required – which, for that matter, we are all equally within this application as mind systems, wherein everything we do is out of memory that we’ve gotten from our parents and past generations, the environment itself with specific programmed patterns that we integrate at a physical level and simply ‘automate’ our living through that.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that anything that is knowledge and information can only exist as the mind consciousness system, as that part of me that I have delegated my actual physical hereness and self directive awareness to, wherein I have defined myself according to the ‘cultivation of knowledge’ as a prop for my own identity/ personality as ego – and within this, diminish myself to be ‘only good for one thing’ which was just being this ‘intelligent character’ while neglecting to cultivate/  apply myself within the aspects that I thought were simply ‘not my thing’ without even trying them out,  such as being one and equal with my physical and being more physical in my every day living, due to having cultivated my mind for the most part of my life. Hence

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define me as being ‘good’ for dealing/ handling with knowledge and information and any Mind-work and be sucking at/ bad/ not good enough for any Physical-work, not realizing this was the result of my own self belief played out as ‘who I am’ according to this inherent acceptance of every human being only being good at some things and not good at others, and blindly accept this as such and define good and bad according to my own belief of who I am toward certain activities.

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to not question this ‘intelligence’ that I apparently had, and within this not ponder about the information that I was integrating within myself, which was only a limited perception of what we as mind systems have been able to depict and define about humanity and reality, believing that it is in fact so, believing it to be real, without realizing that all that I cultivated was myself as a mind consciousness system looking at itself as such,  but never as an actual physical being that can be absolutely self aware in every moment of breath – wherein one would not require to Know about reality through knowledge and information, but be here in self awareness and understanding all the relationships we hold as part of the whole.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever believe that I had in fact a form of ‘gift’ for having this ‘ease’ with studies/ knowledge and information and its integration, without realizing that it was all just based on an ability to copy information, store it and then, speak it out.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to be aware of this copy-speaking information at a certain level and compare myself to people that I deemed as ‘real intelligent people’ who were actually simply only doing the same mechanism, but veered toward other fields that I considered ‘beyond myself’ such as mathematics, physics and engineering which I believed were ‘superior’ than my so-called intelligence, which proves that even if one deems intelligence as part of one’s ability, there will always in the mind be a point of comparison to make oneself more or less than, invariably so, as in the mind one is seemingly never ‘good enough.’

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel ‘bad’ whenever anyone would say ‘I want to be like you’ wherein I would mostly ask a non-existent god ‘but WHY can’t they also have it easy?’ yet at the same time, believing that I had this ‘gift’ for some miraculous reason and not question it further, not challenge it but only later on spite it, only to end up spiting myself of course.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to use intelligence later on as a way to make up for all the other apparent flaws I had, such as lacking an actual physical condition that would be the most healthy or good looking according to the social standards, or being comfortable in socializing – which I only acquired later through association – but for the most part, believe that I could Not have it all, and that I had been given this ‘intelligence’ and that something had to be ‘flawed’ within me in return, such as struggling with accepting myself as my physical appearance, or not having a great physical conditions for sports of high impact and so forth – all of which became part of the limitations I accepted and allowed through family beliefs wherein I learned that we were ‘good’ for being ‘intelligent’ but we would suck at sports or any other outdoor physical activity, within this accepting such limitation as ‘real’ and later on actually living it out as ‘who I am.’

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define and direct my life within this limited scope accepted and allowed self definition within the belief that ‘I am only good at being intelligent’  – and within that only, create this inner conflict within me based on ending up believing that I was intelligent in fact, and that I was not good at other aspects or fields even within knowledge and information in itself, which became thus a reduced point for me to believe that I was probably only good at being intelligent from the perspective of being mostly obeying the system and that’s it, which within this created a personality of responsibility linked to ‘being intelligent’ which is where my fuck up exists,

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to within the desire to spite this so-called intelligence’ I ended up challenging it because of how I had been fed up with being only associated throughout my life to being this ‘intelligent and responsible person’ that I saw as utterly useless, since within me, there was a lot of inner conflict for not having been able to define who I really was outside of that character/abilities and as such, believing it was ‘unfair’ that I could only be valued for this limited ability to store knowledge and information and speak it out, therefore seeking for other ways to be recognized, praised by others in the opposite pole as in the emotional/ feeling aspect, which I why I deliberately veered toward an ‘artistic career’ and ditched any other expectations teachers, parents or anyone else had told me about such as opting for careers/ professions dealing with numbers, science or further ‘mind cultivation careers’ without realizing that everything in this world-system is currently existent as the mind in itself, therefore there is no point such as something being more ‘humane’ as I defined emotions/ feelings to be than a structural-knowledge and information career, since all that I really am was obviously disregarded within this equation, which is neglecting the physical.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place up a ‘high expectation’ on myself for being apparently this bright person and within this feed my specialness and uniqueness within and throughout my life, within this love/ hate relationship of wanting to be recognized as intelligent and at the same time, hate it because of only being reduced to that, which is just a conflictive-play out in my mind that is always existent whenever we define who we are as our mind and the mind thrives off of energy created through any form of friction and conflict that generates emotions and feelings. Within this creating a ‘depressed state’ because of realizing how I had this apparent flaw to establish personal relationships, because of only being perceived as this ‘intelligent responsible person that others feared’  and creating my own bubble of self-pity just as another entertainment and tunnel vision for myself while growing up.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to then seek to spite my own ‘intelligence’ by wanting to develop what I believed was ‘more human’ within me, which was all the emotional/feeling character that I deliberately started developing so that I could be identified more with a more ‘humane scope’ of who I am as these feelings and emotions as ‘sensitivity’ other than being only this rational or ‘intelligent’ person that can memorize stuff and get good grades in the schooling system. Within this, believing firmly that who I really was, were my emotions and feelings, which is how I cultivated this aspect a  lot in a deliberate manner, which is what I am walking as a process wherein I made decision in my life based on satisfying and fulfilling this ‘sensitivity character’  linked to an ‘artistic’ apparent trait.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see that no matter which career or which ‘side’ I would cultivate ‘who I am’ in, it was all based on energy – either through the ‘logical/intellectual’ side and aspect as the ‘intelligent character’ or the other one as the ‘sensitive/humane’ character as all the emotional/feeling development that I built as ‘who I am’ – all were based on and as the mind in itself in both aspects that we tend to veer our lives around: being structural or expressive and creating an inner conflict about that, wherein I ended up ‘spiting’ the structural side, the logical/ intellectual/ knowledgeable side and opted to define me as the ‘expressive’ side, not realizing that in this decision, I never considered myself as the physical body in and as a Self-Equality, but only that which I would be able to ‘experience’ at a mind level, which proves how this system in its entirety has never in fact regarded physicality as who we are, since we are always veering toward one side or the other as self definitions in our mind, without even understanding how our very own physical body works, which should already have placed a massive question that I never asked in terms of why we are not self-aware of every single cell of our physical body and the rest of reality for that matter, proving to what extent such perceived intelligence was never ‘real’ as I accepted this entire world ‘as is,’ even if it created a point of inner conflict at times, I would simply let go of the conflict and focus on what I was able to grasp and integrate as ‘who I am’ as more knowledge and information.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still for some reason wanted to believe that I could hold on to this perceived ‘positive trait’ within me, which for that matter would be like wanting to hold on to my mind as this ego-personality that I’ve become to such an extent, that I have not been able to absolutely let go of it. I realize that we live in a system wherein the ability to store knowledge and information and speak about it is regarded as intelligence, and that it is thus my duty as part of my process to direct this ability to develop an actual common sensical understanding of life and living, wherein there is no knowledge and information per se  to memorize, but only understand the processes that lead us to be and become who we are, and within this, be able to transmit it, share it as part of the basic education that we will be living and actually Applying as part of our alignment to that which is Real as ourselves, as physical beings that are integrated with common sense as practical living skills that are applicable within understanding how reality works and as such, direct ourselves within that understanding toward a best for all outcome.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to only believe that I was a system that can regurgitate knowledge and information and that probably that was ‘it’ for me, that was my task, in this – I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to diminish the totality of who I am as a physical being, a part of this whole to a Very limited configuration of a mind system that exists as an energetic churning machine, that consumes physicality to be able to ‘run its course’ and believe that ‘that was all that I am’ and that I had to accept other ‘flaws’ within me because I had to apparently be grateful for being this ‘intelligent person.’

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become the accumulation of memories of people saying that I was intelligent and ending up believing that I was in fact so, which is how we trap ourselves in lies and self definitions toward each other, instead of actually recognizing each other as the life that we really in fact are as equals, that physicality is not defined by a mind-configuration in itself but exists here as the innocence of what life should be, untainted by our energetic schemes that divide and separate ourselves from ourselves and from living in itself, limited to cultivating our minds only and forgetting even about breathing.

 

What type of intelligence is this that we’ve defined ourselves as where we can spend the days Thinking and not even being aware of being a breathing living human being?

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I had some form of advantage within this process due to this so-called intelligence, which is really nothing else but being able to remember things with probably a bit of more ease, within the realization that it does not make oneself ‘more’ than others, it is just like others being able to have a perfect physical condition to run for a long time and I believe myself to be incapable of doing that, without realizing that all such points entail a physical training and practice – either cultivating the mind or physical activity – nothing is simply ‘magically’ here as a certain ability.

 

The proof of this is that if a kid was born between animals and that kid had no ability to develop memory in the way that a child would do within the ‘family environment’ as in having parents and school speaking words, experiences, and as such learning how to memorize the words, sounds, alphabet, etc. they would simply be considered as ‘not intelligent’ within the system standards, but probably that child would have learned practical skills to survive on their own within a particular environment, which proves that what we currently define as ‘intelligence’ is according to this configuration of the world based on knowledge and information that supports this entire limited-version of reality that we live in, which is then placing on a pedestal all people as walking knowledge and information databases that will enable the continuation of the same system in place, which is then where we as people that are becoming self aware of what we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become, must stop the continuation of this superior/ special regard to all such knowledge and information that supports the ‘old system,’ and instead focus on walking our own integration of common sensical living wherein we Live the redefinition of intelligence to intellisense: from knowledge and information to a common sensical living awareness of ourselves as physical beings in a physical world, where no more knowledge and information, including our emotions and feelings, define ourselves and limit us between either sides of the poles, but equalize everything that we have been and become through these energetic associations toward our reality, which includes all our self-definitions that simply do not regard life or consider equality as who we really are.

 

“Intelligence is a programme of consciousness/the mind  that consist of and exist as the/a entire body of knowledge and information definitions about ourselves/ ‘who we are’ and our relationships towards ourselves, others and this world as a whole that in fact separate us from ourselves, each other and this world/physical existence. Because we’ve created relationships towards ourselves, others and this world through definitions/programmes within our Mind, and not in fact lived and actual real physical equality and oneness with ourselves, each other and this world. Intelligence is the programme/manifestation that actually separate us from establishing real/eternal relationships of physical equality and oneness” – Sunette Spies

 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the relationship of myself toward myself through my mind only and in this, accept the limited scope of defining me as only knowledge and information that I Thought I was ‘good at handling,’ without realizing that in this, any form of actual common sense development was not cultivated, because of learning only through copying and pasting and remaining within the standards and frames of what was good/ right, making me more like the example of what a ‘perfect system’ within this system would be like: being responsible, not questioning further and doing everything I was asked to do. Perfect slave with badges of honor.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to be aware to a certain extent of what a lie this intelligence was, but accept it because it ‘at least’ made me feel ‘more’ than others within my mind and create a point of specialness, uniqueness and stand as an example of how to be the perfect system for others to copy, which I believed was my role and simply had to play along, not questioning the actual hierarchical separation and segregation I was cultivating within this all, which is unacceptable to say the least since I only regarded ‘How I experienced myself as an intelligent/ non intelligent  person,’ disregarding the effect of accepting such character within the schooling system and those that had to be deemed as ‘inferior’ for me to be the ‘superior one.’

 

I breathe, I stabilize myself physically and walk through the manifested consequences due to my own accepted and allowed playing of characters without considering physical reality consequences.

 

More to come in the next blog, continuing dissecting this knowledgeable entity that I have dragged as ‘who I am’ and directing myself to equalize myself in all ways to my own physicality.

 

sytem me

 

 

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214. Creating Awareness is Not Enough–LIVING As It is

 

Understanding Reality is the key to then see how it is futile to victimize oneself within this world and then seek to revolt/ escape and judge the system, without realizing that it is OUR Responsibility at all times to be the solution – not just use knowledge and information to create ‘awareness’ without being the living example of what it is that Standing up for Equality actually means as a Self-Directive Process that we walk in order to realize, see and understand our very own participation within the world system that we have judged and criticized up to now.

Self Interest Complicates Everything in this world. Look at the problems today, they are not imposed by only one man or one single ideology, religion or group – the problem in this world is the sum total of individual survivalism created as an image and likeness of a mind as consciousness that could never ensure its survival without creating deliberate conflict and friction to get some energy and continue existing. This single aspect is imprinted in our very Atoms in our physical body and As the nature of Existence as a Whole, being unaware of this physical and mind aspect of who we are is the negligence and ignorance we have accepted and allowed the moment that we abdicated our own responsibility to ourselves by allowing us to be reduced to being a single automatized and systematized existence of emotions, feelings, thoughts that will always seek for one’s personal benefit, as ‘happiness’ and the most social recognition one can get in one way or another – this is the pattern I walk and take responsibility for.

I direct my self-interest and powerlessness act of ‘revolutionary’ and stream it here as breath to take responsibility for all that I ever sought to be and become in separation of the best interest of all and instead, live it as a genuine act of understanding how it is only in Equality that Life can thrive in this world for all.

Revolutionary –Elitist Character – Self Corrective Statements

 

Continuation of the Elite Character

The Revolutionary Character:

 

I commit myself to live the realization that we should not require suffering or any other situation of abuse to have a reason to stand up for Life in Equality. I realize that the reason why I chose to stand up entailed a form of self interest that wasn’t entirely Self Honest. Thus, I direct myself to confirm my standing up for Life in Equality as what’s Best for All from the realization of this entire world being our Responsibility and it can only be and become the world I dreamed of – where everyone gets along and is living ‘happily’ – if we commit ourselves to create it, and this is through Education. Therefore, I commit myself to be the example of what it is to Stand up for Life as a Living Principle, not motivated by external desires of attaining something/ someone outside of myself, but as the point of Self Support and Self Assistance that adds up to more people that is willing to do the same and as such, realize that the ability to establish a world system that is Livable depends on each one of us, not in some government or politician’s decision. We Are It.

 

I commit myself to realize that the responsibility we all hold toward this world system is equal and in that, all our words, thoughts and deeds are essential to align to a best for all outcome in all ways, as that is what I see and realize creates the totality of this world system and within that, it is not about opposing the government and asking It for a ‘Change’ but we take such Change in our hands and act upon it.

 

I commit myself to not participate in emotions when hearing the news about the world and become sad or feel powerless about it. I rather stand up in the moment, take a deep breath and realize that I am aligning my life to be and become part of the solution and that diminishing myself to a victim of this world has never worked, not for us not for anyone protesting about the world conditions. We have to instead, establish, promote and create awareness about the solution that exists at an individual level As each one of us, standing together being the majority that is willing to stop the current mad world we’re living in.

 

I Commit myself to live my life being a living-example and promoter of what Life can be when one is Self Responsible and dedicate one’s life to promote a solution to an overall system reform that will benefit not only ‘me’ or those directly standing up for the solution but ALL beings equally, as that is the way it should have been from the beginning and so it will be and Must be by our direct intervention to create it, as I see and realize that what is the most required aspect at the moment is Education and that is what Desteni is all about, beginning with the Desteni Lite Process that is absolutely open for everyone that is willing to start facing oneself as our mind, as we have realized that it is the Individuals that make the system not the System that shapes the individuals only.

 

I commit myself to stop any form of criticism toward the system from the vantage point of getting an experience of victimization and as such superiority about it, I realize that when we are simply committing ourselves to establish a solution, the points that are flawed within this system can be addressed to show the problem and Then explain the solution and How to walk the solution, because I see and realize that there are far too many documentaries and videos, books and information about everything that is Wrong in this world, but few or only a minority get to the point of showing the solution and exemplifying how it can practically be sustainable and established. Thus

 

I commit myself to always place a solution to every single problem that I address as part of the information and education required in our world, to no longer feed the same ‘opposition personality’ that we have all become every time that we complain about ‘the world’ without proposing any solutions. The most viable solution is the implementation of the Equal Money System wherein people will be able to have the ‘survival-mode’ placed on a definitive Stop and as such, have enough time to work with ourselves, with our minds, to walk our individual processes of Standing up for Life and within that, realizing that it is only through our own decision to work with ourselves, taking Self Responsibility for ourselves to direct and align our lives within the principle of what is Best for All as equals, that we can understand the imperative requirement for each one of us to assist and support other beings to realize the same point for themselves as well: there won’t be any change coming from ‘the clouds’ or the government or a savior as a revolutionary in this world, it must come from each one of us living the words that we speak within the consideration of what is best for all, and within that, realizing that there won’t even be a need or requirement for a ‘leader’ to do this if we can all Will ourselves to Lead ourselves to a best for all outcome. This is what Real Democracy is all about: being the 1 Vote for Equality as one’s life/ living and self-corrected process to finally create an awareness that a world divided cannot ever be a Living World.

 

I commit myself to expose the reality of our media, our economy, our politics as mere obstacles to real solutions, because everything that is currently being massively promoted is only being so from the starting point of obtaining some form of benefit about it. This implies that our Self Movement toward a World in Equality cannot have the same motivations that lead to the same abuse and within this, I realize that there cannot be and exist a desire for change within Self Interest – as Change will imply in this context the eradication of all forms of abuse in any possible way.

 

I commit myself to continue educating myself about how this world functions to no longer aspire to get a position in the system wherein I ‘know it all’ form the desire to be a knowledgeable ego, as I see and realize that knowledge without application is utterly useless and that when one is being the living word, we don’t require to THINK about it, we just express what is Common Sense to the realization of what is best for all, and that is simplicity, never complexity.

 

I commit myself to continue establishing myself as my own starting point to move me within this process, wherein the matters of the world are not reduced to simple points I can ‘speak about’ but actually understand the reason and origin point of what caused it and within that, see and look at the solutions that will be required in the long run to support that aspect of the world. This is within the realization that it is part of our education to always see the problem and investigate and project the solutions – otherwise, we remain asking for ‘solutions’ toward government/ authorities, instead of realizing how we have created it ourselves and so, each one of us will be the solution to it as well.

 

I commit myself to watch the news from the starting point of looking at what is going on in this world, be informed about the reality that is HERE and not from the vantage point of already wanting to blame others as the government, parents or any other form of ‘authority’ that could be the culprit in my mind. I realize that everything that goes on in this world is our direct responsibility and that point does not envision or separate people according to hierarchies and Roles we all play in society – we are all equal and one within our consequential outflow of everything that we have accepted and allowed to exist within ourselves.

 

I commit myself to use all the knowledge and information that may be useful to expose a reality and see it only as that: data that is here represented in numbers and pictures that can be used to represent a reality that we have to all take  Self Responsibility for individually – thus it is not to seek to ‘make money’ out of knowledge and information or further manipulate for only a few people’s interests, but use what is here to show and expose our reality, while presenting a solution accordingly.

 

I commit myself to plan out/ project my life destined toward a position wherein I can support the most beings in this world as that is what I have vowed myself to be and become. A point that stands As the example as the walking-realization of what is possible to be and become once that we commit ourselves to Live in Equality. This means that all Selfish-Interest has no room in a Self-Interest that considers what is Best and Equal for All – Self being the totality of who and what we are as human beings, as this world and existence as a whole. That is what is required to be realized in order to understand that any form of opposition is only a war against Self.

 

I commit myself to use my abilities and skills toward a best for all outcome, wherein I ensure that whatever I do, say, speak stands in alignment to that which I realize is best for all in every single moment and movement. This implies that Breathing is the key to always slow myself down before making a decision of how to approach a situation, a particular piece of information, ensuring I am not only seeking to oppose/ expose without understanding as that is the actual key to stop all further division in this world – to expose the reality that has been accepted and allowed while directing it to an equality solution.

 

I commit myself to realize that there cannot be any ‘superiority’ or ‘inferiority’ position in society when establishing a world in Equality – thus any desire to ‘stand on top’ must be breathed out of myself and realizing that there are no ‘protagonists’ here that will end up in a superior position – it is about an equal and one leadership that we all have to take on wherein we can eventually realize that we do not Require to ‘push ourselves’ to do things by some form of authority/ control through fear, but that we can simply direct ourselves to do it within understanding.

 

I commit myself to walk in humbleness this process and to ensure that any inkling of egotistical desires to be or become ‘more’ than who and what I am are simply breathed out in every single moment they may pop up in my mind, as I see and realize that this is just part of the consciousness desires that I had participated in for my entire life – thus, I take responsibility for my creation as Myself as my own backchat and energetic experiential desires and within this, ensure that I stand always here as breath, realizing that what I really and and the only real power I exist as is in every moment that I have the ability to breathe – stand here and be a living example of the very process of equalizing oneself as Life, until it is done.

 

I commit myself to expose how the revolution begins within each one of us, educating ourselves, taking Self Responsibility and within this, ensuring that no matter how ‘bad’ things may get in reality, the solution will NEVER be to oppose the system or retaliate or fight against each other – but to Always present a solution, to Always speak, communicate and be the living example of the solutions that can exist when self interest is equalized for all in Common Sense and Self Responsibility, realizing that we have only created such problems and turmoil in society because of Self Interest, Greed and the desire to be ‘more’ than what we already are – this all part of the Education we must be directly sharing in order to step out of the mind control we’ve accepted and allowed individually, and within this, start seeing the reality that is here behind all survival fears and retaliation desires to ‘make a better world’ – It is only through education and informed decisions that will lead to an invariable best for all outcome that we can thrive in this world. And this is what Desteni and the Equal Money System are for.

 

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213. Opinionated Elitism: Intellectual Prickism

Revolutionary –Elitist Character – because all worry and concern about the system was not self-honest, but rather aiming at personal glory.

Continuation of the Elite Character

The Revolutionary Character:

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I required a reason to stand up for life in equality as in having a particular ‘bad life’ or suffering in order to advocate a world system that will ensure all living beings are supported for life and in this, believe that any form of suffering was necessary for us to stand up, without realizing that such suffering, struggle and abuse has been he direct outflow of our own accepted and allowed existence in selfishness, self interest and utmost greed that leads to the negligence of other beings as ourselves, which leads to accepting and allowing a reality of abuse and neglect, simply because we were not apparently directly affected by it, when the reality is that we all are aware at some level of everything that goes on in this world, and that no matter how hard we try to ‘make our lives work’ and ‘try to make it’ in this world, we will never get to an actual state of well being unless we change the system that is currently fostering the conditions of abuse as a means to survive.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to comply and form my judgment about reality based on ‘critical opposition’ to a system that I thought had to ‘work for us’ no matter what, without ever questioning why it is that the only civil-obedience act that I would know of was paying for taxes and voting for political representation, never actually realizing that this world is the way it is because we have all collectively agreed to the non-sensical rules and regulations as ‘laws’ that are only benefitting a minority of the population that lives in opulence, while the majority  is neglected and side viewed by any form of human-rights and laws that could guarantee the general well being of mankind as equals, though because this would imply having no ability to abuse and exert power over someone that isn’t forced to ‘make a living’ to get by and survive, we simply agreed that living in optimum conditions would mean having to work/ having to have a constant struggle to ‘make it’ in this world, accepting this as the general imprint we grow up as children, always aiming at ‘getting better/ progressing/ developing’ but always witnessing things only going wrong, bad, corrupted, failing and within this

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to start conforming to an apathy and general mocking of our politics and governmental systems due to believing that they were the only bad guys creating the problems I was witnessing in my environment as the country and the world, and that we, the people, had to ‘fight for our rights and be heard,’ generating an entire energetic personality of constant opposition, criticism, wanting to hoard as much knowledge and information about the world as possible so that I could ‘defend’ myself when being asked about my opinions about politics, economics and social matters. I realize that in this all I was not In fact looking at the actual reality of people, but mostly being entertained by numbers, graphics, pictures that I would see in the media in order to create a particular Experience about ‘how bad, how wrong and twisted the world is’ without ever even questioning my own participation within it as an equal-part that is responsible for Everything that goes on in this world, no matter what I do or what I don’t do, the sheer fact that we are living beings is already indicating that we have all tacitly agreed with the current ways the system works – and within that, any form of change cannot come only from a new system in place, but must be In place through our individual change and self correction within the understanding of what it is that Life must be as What is Best for All.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to for a while not question my reality further because of seeing that ‘out of my reach’ and seeing the understanding of how money works, how money is created and what the devaluation of our currency meant – beyond just ‘erasing’ three zeros’ – and simply brush it aside as if it was something that had ‘nothing to do with me’ at the moment. Not realizing that everything that was making my life work was not out of ‘nowhere’ but money that is what enabled me to continue living and being educated and existing only seeking for my own benefit, because it is quite clear how if I had any form of physical struggle to get money as in not having enough money, I would have questioned my  reality further  – yet I used the reality, the knowledge and information for my own benefit as a way to make myself ‘knowledgeable’ and what I’ve been tagging as ‘system savvy’ in order to perpetuate the intellectualism of the problems in the world to have interesting ‘talks’ with other people that would seem ‘equally interesting’ to me to do so, and within this never really actually SEEING the problems we were speaking about as the actual reality of people, but were only using it as a way to show off knowledge and information, have long talks over coffee and ‘plot’ some amusing plans to ‘overcome the system’ that would go no further than just that, talking and having no inkling of an actual plan, way and method to in fact create a change in this world – thus, my concern about the system must be seen not as an actual act of caring, but was also imprinted with my desire to start making a name for myself in order to get to be part of the Intellectual-Elite that could talk about the problems in the world and earn great money out of it. (Read: 207. Changing the World in Self Interest)

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be ‘informed’ from an early age about what was happening in the world, but this was all based within self interest as in having the ability to Know more about the world, to be quite the ‘exceptional child’ that would not be amused by ‘childish games’ but would act as an adult in order to seem special and within this,once again, building up a point of specialness, superiority and recognition over time in order to get to be ‘the most’ everyone told me I could be, which became then an over-confidence as an Experience based on me being ‘opinionated’ and having ‘critical views’ on the world early on, which made me feel good when people would be amazed of my wits and knowledge and information, never really in myself even considering how what I was speaking about, was being actually lived and experienced in Reality by human beings that are also part of myself as everyone and everything that is here – which is how we have intellectualized reality instead of actually Understanding it in order to create a feasible way to change our living-ways and within this, promote an actual system-change.

 

I realize that my interest for the world matters was also in self interest for all of the above mentioned points: superiority, specialness, being ‘witty’ and system savvy wherein no real actual consideration of the lives of the people that I was generalizing with data and names and history was actually about. This is how once again, we are only able to intellectualize reality because of the protection and security that money is granting us, a select sector of the population that has been ‘gifted’ with the ability to have a dignified living, neglecting the majority that is out of our sight and only reduced to ‘world news’ of poverty, starvation, abuse, trafficking, animal extinction and wars that we see only as ‘interesting topics’ that will make us look like a person that Cares, but little did I even care to actually be and become a human being that understands the reasons and actual detail of why the lives of human beings have been neglected to such an extent that we’ve reduced Actual Lives to graphics, to GDP numbers and figures that in no way serve Life, in no way actually consider the living conditions of such people that are just forming parts of percentages, numbers and statistics that indicate an apparent growth or devaluation of life on Earth.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to never question how it was possible to have a ‘Devaluation’ of our currency which would be the same as ‘devaluing’ life in one way or another – within this, missing out all possible common sense that I could have considered if I had allowed myself to investigate further on  how money exists, and how money is created, and the actual laws and regulations that dictate our reality, but instead, only used such knowledge and information for my own personal benefit as a opinionated character, having some form of ‘criteria’ to speak about the world simply because of judging this as proper to educated and wealthy people. There you go, intellectualism exposed.

 

I Forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to hide the fact that my interest on world matters was actually only based on attaining/ hoarding knowledge and information as a synonym of money, wherein I would be planning already how ‘great’ I was going to be when having had a life of being informed on social matters, politics, trying to understand wall street and becoming a news junky just so that I could give lectures/ talks about my education, my ‘awareness’ of the problems of the world while gaining a name for myself as this type of ‘good being’ that would fight for social justice and a revolution,  without being self honest with myself to see how the starting point of this all was in self interest and not really caring about investigating the actual lives of the people I could be naming as general figures and numbers that we use in order to sound ‘cool’ and ‘intelligent,’ while neglecting even asking why such numbers and figures of poverty, starvation, war, crime, unemployment, rise of prices and any other act of corruption existed in the first place.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that exposing my selfish desires to ‘help the world’ would make me a ‘bad person’ not realizing that we have all been living lives masking our self interest with benevolence, goodness and ‘good will’ that has never in fact existed, as if it really had existed, we would have done something already about this world. Thus,

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to plan/ plot and project a life for myself based on being an ‘aware’ being, like the ultimate intellectual that could talk about all spheres of life in order to sound interesting, to even find a partner that could ‘fill in the gaps’ with more knowledge and information as an ‘intelligent being and socially aware – whatever such tag would in any way imply as ‘worthy’ to me – and a social-group of people that I could fit in based on my desires to have friends in elitist-intellectual positions as I deemed that to be ‘my spot’ within my life, and within this

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to admire, even idolize people that were these ‘examples’ in my life of what it was to read a ton of books, have huge libraries in their houses, collect art, have the ultimate sybarite lifestyle while being very aware of the system and talking about change while eating some form of delicacy with wine, which was the precise type of social reunions that I wanted to preserve in my life – and I repeat: while theorizing about the problems in the world, which is unacceptable.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to value who a person is according to the education they have, the knowledge and information about ‘the world system’ that they have memorized, because of having created my own standards of intelligence based on knowledge and information placed ‘at the service of humanity,’ which is where the revolutionary-intellectual character exists, never realizing that within this, I was supporting the very cogwheels that make this wordl system turn wherein knowledge and information is valued more than life, wherein all money is valued more than life without understanding how there could be no money, no real value if there was no actual physicality that we could in any way put a price tag on, including ourselves as ‘knowledgeable beings’ that can sell such ‘wits’ within the academic and intellectual circles in the form of books, lectures and general elitist-status of social investigators that may propose a ton of ways to create a change in this world but never in fact even consider how to make it a reality as a process of Self Responsibility by the individuals, because all solutions were only looked at in the form of opposition, revolution and further criticism of the system without looking at the monetary system as the source and core of the problem that must be corrected and aligned in this world to support Life in Equality.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to also use this accumulation of knowledge and information to gain the tags that people would generally see me as ‘acculturated intelligent person’ which became part of my ‘steps toward success’ in this world system because of having done all the research and deliberate accumulation of knowledge and information for my own benefit, to seem like a good doer, revolutionary, future ‘leader’ of change in self interest. I see and realize that there could be no actual good intention the moment that I was using knowledge and information as a form of reputation that I could later on Sell to the same system I was trying to oppose. I realize that within this world system, I tis not not oppose it or retaliate against it and try and make a living out of doing so, but instead become part of the system, educate myself, support other’s education in order to recognize the fact that there is nothing to oppose, but to align, correct and direct to an outcome that is best for all.

 

I realize that whenever self interest as our own personal benefit is in place when trying and ‘do good’ to this world can only backfire as a self-deception that we have to take self responsibility for, and that it is not to be judged any further other than taking the necessary actions to align our lives and our dedication to understanding reality not as a way to abuse such knowledge and information for our own benefit, but to in fact self-forgive any remains of personal/ selfish interest about ‘changing the world’ / making a change and take the necessary actions to be self responsible which doesn’t exist ‘out there’ as some major reform in the system at the moment, it begins with our every seemingly ‘unimportant’ thoughts in our head whenever we place ourselves on top of others, whenever we want to be ‘right,’ whenever we want to have the ‘right answer’ all the time which is a point that is not indicating anything else but the desire to remain in a knowledgeable and righteous position that actually does a lot of harm upon reality, wherein intellectualism has become part of the general abstraction of reality into nice words and pictures to depict the reality, instead of actually investigating how Reality operates, why such people have been neglected, how our very own lives depend on their suffering and abuse and how our very worlds of elitist first world lifestyles are stemming from another’s endless laboring days in conditions that no knowledge and information can change in this world.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to see the desire of changing the world as a ‘noble act’ within our society that I had to attain to in order to be part of a select-renowned group of people as an artist or intellectual, or linguist or whatever that I could be and become in order to get my ‘big part of the cake’ while holding an image of a ‘good doer’ in my society, and be known and praised and recognized for that, without realizing to what extent I had simply then acted in self interest all the time and never really caring as the actual expression of what that word implies about the reality of the people and situations and events I was only reducing to long strips of words that were not lived at all.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to read people’s biographies as in revolutionary people, artists mostly  as examples of what I wanted to be and become and within this starting point of fame, recognition, getting to be part of history books, desire to get to the ‘top’ and be ‘superior’ within my society as knowledgeable person/ an intellectual of ‘the greatest kind’ wherein I learned how this type of recognition was an acceptable way of becoming rich/ wealthy while still holding on a façade of ‘activist’ as a ‘good doer.’ I realize that I deliberately neglected the absurdity and paradox I would have made of myself by becoming rich out of opposing the system and the lack of integrity that really exists in all our so-called intellectual spheres in this world, where it is very nice and simple to talk and talk and talk about the problems in this world, blame the government or any other institution and always avoiding seeing one’s own life and the decisions made based on wanting to obtain a point of benefit in absolute self interest.

 

I commit myself to continue writing the revolutionary-elitist character out, in order to see how even in what could be spotted as ‘good intentions’ there were actual greedy interests behind it, most likely wishing to succeed only at an individual level and forgetting about the actuality, the physicality the actual living conditions of the people that are reduced to numbers, stories, figures that are sold in books and lectures and further story-telling journalism without proposing an actual living solution that can Stop such abuse and negligence in humanity. I commit myself to establish the Equal Money System as the common sense that is necessary in this world, which can hold no specialness or hero-like action, this is about the reality that should have always been but were too busy satisfying/ satisFRYING our own egos.

 

This will continue

 

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180. Half way done

Within the procrastination point and seeing the number 180 reminded me of a  half circle when it comes to degrees,  and I see that one of the aspects that I have to take into consideration is how I reach a point within and while doing something where I simply suddenly just not follow through with it. This implies that I begin writing and then, the mind-imperialism over physical reality is allowed within me, creating enough excuses as to why I don’t want to ‘follow through’ with something.

And this is a ‘branch’ stemming from procrastination wherein during the moment that we are doing it, I simply decide that ‘it’s enough for now, let’s leave the rest for later/ tomorrow…’ and in that moment, I have actually made a decision based on any other point that will create a ‘better experience’ other than the aforementioned backchat in the ‘negative realm’ of experiences – which was disclosed in the previous blog 179. Apathy as result of High Expectations and instead go into the positive and think about all the ‘other things I should rather be doing.

 

– This is enough for now I rather leave the rest for later when I am more ‘feeling’ like I’m more suitable for it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow and hold the backchat of ‘I rather save the rest for later’ when it comes to finishing a task or assignment – within this allowing me to create the experience and reaction of being ‘stuck’ with it, not knowing how to ‘follow through with it’ without realizing that these are just excuses and justifications in order to actually go and do that ‘something else’ that I have defined as a more suitable thing to do/ something I would rather do instead of continuing with my task.

When and as I see myself reacting in an experience of being ‘stuck’ with my writing and not knowing ‘how to follow through with it’ as backchat – I stop and I breathe – In such moments I can simply go back, read what I am writing, ensure that I bring the point back to ‘here’ that I began with, see where I am required to give it direction in terms of ‘following through with it’ and simply continue writing, as I see and realize that within the acceptance and allowance of this ‘stuckness’ as a real obstacle to not continue, I allow an emotional experience to dictate who I am in the moment of writing and getting my assignment/ task done – therefore,

I commit myself to breathe, read again what I am writing in order to continue up to the point where I stop and see what it is that I in fact faced in such moment that I decided to stop, apply self forgiveness for the decision to stop and the excuse that I gave in order to stop and within this assess in common sense how to continue doing the task or if it is in fact time to dedicate myself to my other tasks during the day.

Within this, the consideration of not wanting to do it all at once to ‘get over with it’ is required, in order to not make it an energetic drive to ‘get past the obstacle/ get it done as fast as possible’ which would also be going to the extreme where no actual self support is considered.

 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with immediate disposition to instead of writing going out for a walk, going to check out something else online instead of continuing doing the writing, which indicates that I am seeking to create a positive experience in the moment instead of doing the writing as the particular task/ assignment done, without realizing that the moment that I believe that I require a particular ‘drive’ to write is also enslaving myself to only write when ‘I feel like it’ which is beginning the writing with an impetus of positivity and then slowly but surely decaying into a ‘low’ that I then seek to step out by doing that ‘something else’ that I have defined as a positive experience, wherein I then react with a physical opening and dissipation of all heaviness experienced when ‘hitting the low’ at the moment of writing.

Thus, when and as I see myself coming up with something better to do and creating a positive experience such as immediate disposition to go out and be ‘steadfast’ for it, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I don’t require an energetic input to get things done and that I cannot continue dividing tasks based on ‘how I feel’ about them, as this is the very indication that I am not being the directive principle, but instead I am allowing energy to be the decision maker within this.

I commit myself to continue writing and doing what I have established and decided to do in a moment without participating in thoughts that lead me to assess the moment as either a positive or negative experience, as I see and realize that writing is just me moving fingers on top of keys and that’s it – there is no requirement for a particular impetus/ drive or even motivation outside of myself to do so.

 

– “I don’t know how to follow through with this”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself as being ‘stuck’ to continue writing and apparently ‘not knowing how to follow through’ which is a common limitation and restriction that I have imposed onto myself and my physical doing of writing as a mind experience wherein I believe that I required ‘some information’ to continue going, without realizing that all is actually already here and that I do not require to ‘get something outside of myself’ to continue – which is a common belief that I have participated in order to then just stop doing the writing and shift to a ‘better thing to do,’ leaving aside the task that must be done.

 

When and as I see myself believing that I require some information to continue going and within this create the experience of being ‘stuck’ within the writing in itself, I stop and I breathe – I realize that all that I require is already here as myself and as such, I stop participating in the thoughts that lead me to ‘better do something else’ and direct myself to continue living the word determination wherein I have agreed to complete that which I begin as part of the physical movement and realization that all the focus that I require is attention into this particular point to walk it to its completion and diligence as a persistent and continuous application to continue working on what I am already doing, such as writing, and stopping the need and desire to do something ‘better’ or ‘more fulfilling’ which is indicating that I am only seeking for a positive experience in my mind, which is not acceptable.

 

I commit myself to ‘remind’ myself as a point of support how I can only create an experience in my mind of ‘being stuck’ because of an actual desire to do something that is more ‘fulfilling’ at an energetic level – thus I stop and continue giving myself physical direction, breath by breath as the focus and diligence that I have committed myself to live as part of the realization that who I am is constantly here as breath, and that this  – along with my physical requirements to continue living – are the basic sustenance required in order for me to ‘follow through’ with my writing/ assignment/ task to be done.

 

Next post I’ll explore an ‘ideal’ state that I have discovered I have programmed in my mind as the ‘suitable conditions/ environment’ for me to write, which then become obviously an excuse to within not meeting this ‘requirement’ as the ‘suitable moment/ conditions to write,’ I simply continue procrastinating because of not meeting ‘my needs’ within it.

 

to be continued…

 

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136. Relax and Just Chill: Everything is Just Fine

This world is the result of our knowledge – are we proud of what we have become? No.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in an attempt to ‘live life, ’separated myself into a surrogate player as the entirety of who and what I have become when only playing out defined and preprogrammed patterns that I created in order to sustain myself as the ‘stability’ I believed myself to be, without ever realizing that such stability was only based on knowledge and information that in no way stands one and equal as life, as such knowledge and information can only exist through and as the mind that sucks life out of the physical in order to create such sense of ‘stability’ as the mind, as the personalities that we define ourselves, daring to even create a sense of pride and superiority as such ‘knowledge’ believing ourselves to ‘know it all/ have it all under control’ within particular personalities that in no way can stand the test of time as life.

When and as I see myself playing out a sense of stability and even superiority within the perceived ‘who I am’ as my mind of knowledge and information creating this sense of ‘everything is fine,’ I stop and I breathe –  I realize that I am in fact keeping a very systematic point of self-abuse as ‘stability’ that exists as knowledge and information that I have created as a way to cope with reality, stemming from an actual fear of losing myself As that personality that I have fed and sustained with the very physicality that I embody as my own human physical body.

I realize that everything that I have kept as ‘who I am’ was never real as all the knowledge and information ‘reputation’ is but mere programs that I believed were ‘superior’ to other programs and in that, continuing abusing myself and others as life due to playing and participating within an actual point of self-abuse, wherein Life was nowhere to be found as Knowledge is not life.

I commit myself to stop playing the character of the stability as ‘who I am’ based on knowledge and information of ‘who I am,’ ‘what I’ve been,’ ‘what I’ve done,’ – it is thus to expose how this stability stems from the money belief-system that gives us such sense of security and that we built our personalities around it in order to keep ourselves in a ‘peace of mind’ where everything is fine. Within this, creating a point of support for us to stand one and equal as our mind, as this reality in order to understand why and how an Equal Money System can be the only way in which we can in fact LIVE in this reality, as money as it currently exist is also nothing else but knowledge and information to keep ourselves ‘safe’ from reality that is of actual poverty and abuse.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever hold this ‘stability’ as ‘who I am’ as real, as the ‘who I am in fact’ and believing that because I experienced this certainty of ‘who I am,’ I am in fact here and ‘fine,’ without realizing that the moment that we have to THINK ourselves into ‘being fine and alright’ it is then in fact an indication of us talking to Believe that ‘we are in control, we are stable,’ which is how we exist as the current world system wherein money acts as such thoughts in the head, as the backchat that is ‘sweetly talking’ to us to continue believing that ‘everything is fine’ and that there is no problem at all in the world, without realizing that it is just like placing a movie within our own minds as positive thinking that doesn’t allow us to face the actual fear that we exist as whenever we only seek the positive and to have ‘control’ over ourselves and others, while using knowledge and information to do so.

When and as I see myself talking myself to believing that ‘everything is fine, I am stable,’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that having to talk myself into a positive experience of ‘all is fine’ is in fact a deliberate way to cover up the actual fear experienced in the moment instead of actually breathing to direct myself in the physical reality as the responsibilities, tasks and points that I have to direct myself within.

I realize that I in fact have never been in control of myself as I do not have an idea of how I am creating myself in every moment and how my thoughts have become automated and programmed by me throughout a life that I lived only through seeking happiness, fulfillment, satisfaction, following the feel good energy that I enslaved myself to, becoming ever oblivious to everything and all that was real here on this Earth as the physical reality, but only living within an alternate dimension in my reality, justifying my own stability and ‘alrightness’ with further knowledge and information to make it all ‘just fine.’

I commit myself to expose to myself how within the extreme desire of ‘wanting to have control’ over myself and others, I am in fact fearing others and myself within the realization that we in fact have no control over ourselves and reality at the moment and that everything that we have become is nothing else but puppets of our own programming that we believed ourselves so fervently to be,  wanting to defend such knowledge and information at all cost, even if such cost means the lives of human beings, animals, the Earth itself as what we have denominated ‘resources’ that in no way stand as a point of Self-Support as Life.

 

Who and what we are as living beings cannot continue as knowledge as it is plain to see that all wars, all disagreements, all fights, all separation stands within a point of knowledge that each one takes ‘pride’ of and as such, become an actual leech to the physicality that is unconditionally allowing us to live, while we transform such life into lethal weapons and bullets to kill and consume each other.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how the very existence of ourselves as knowledge and information creates a point of separation by default, as knowledge in itself stands as the elitist-mark for everyone, defining in this world who lives and who dies according to the knowledge  and ‘preparation’ as information to be able to survive in the world, which implies that we’ve built our own prison of knowledge and information that we believed ourselves to be, losing ground of that which is real to glorify that which apparently could make us more than others, and in that, by default accepting inequality as an inherent aspect of humanity, without questioning how such inequality can only exist as a mind that thinks and asses reality in absolute disregard of the one and only value, which is Life itself and that we are all capable and able of equalizing ourselves to, if we make the decision to do so.

When and as I see myself assessing myself, others and this reality through knowledge and information for the purpose of comparing, judging as more or less than – I stop and I breathe – I realize that the very use of knowledge with the purpose of defining something/ someone as more or less than others, is the actual point of abuse that must be exposed in all ways, in order to ensure that we in fact realize  how it is only when and while being here in the physical consideration of each other as equals that we can direct ourselves effectively in our world and that we can in fact work together to create and construct a new way of living wherein knowledge and information is no longer regarded as something ‘more’ than the being themselves, but becomes only a practical point to be used to actually build, create and design a better way to live in Equality.

I realize that as long as we do not realize that everything that has been built upon knowledge and information is a lie and a belief system, we’ll continue recreating the same patterns and habits of the past, wherein words that are separated from physicality become world-rulers, such as money that has become a language in itself.

I commit myself to stop living as the ‘stability’ that knowledge and information in my mind creates, and also stopping creating any good feeling out of having enough money in my pocket to eat every day, as these are the small building blocks of this world-system that stands as the justification and excuse of abusing life on Earth for our own personal benefit. 

 

Within this, it is to finally understand that there is no way we can sustain a world based on knowledge as this world is the proof that no knowledge has done any equal and one ‘good’ to humanity, and that Life is calling for us to Stop and Forgive ourselves, to then be willing to walk a process of Self-Realization wherein all castles in the air built as knowledge are demolished to from and as such dust, ground ourselves back on Earth, as I see and realize that we have used knowledge to abuse the physical reality – it is thus to use now words to Live them in Equality, to move and support ourselves/others within to see and realize that it is only in an Equal World that we will truly be able to finally Live, instead of sustaining surrogate characters maintaining only a cycle of self-abuse.

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61: The Stoned Philosopher

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ever believe that Alchemy was ‘the real deal’ within reality to obtain the ultimate knowledge wherein I could finally obtain ‘the truth’ and be enlightened through knowledge and information.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to justify the lives of suffering and ‘misfortune’ as ‘lessons to be learned’ wherein we had to first reach our lowest bottom to then rebirth from the ashes like a phoenix, and in this allowing me to use all knowledge and information as myths and gnostic meanings in order to make sense of life, without ever pondering that life has always been here as myself, as my physical body that I used and abused in order to obtain some ‘higher knowledge’ that could lead me to ‘the ultimate power’ as eternal life, which I now see, realize and understand cannot in any way exist as a piece of information at all.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to indulge in the ‘spiritual entheogen exploration’ wherein I believed that seeing the patterns on everything and dancing on the walls was really being seeing life moving and dancing for me, which I had kept as a memory that I didn’t want to ‘let go of’ because of how wonderful if was.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that I was special because I could see all of these patterns, figures and energetic experiences that I have defined as ‘blissful,’ while having no idea whatsoever to what it actually implies to Live, which has nothing to do with any symbol, any pattern, any thought, any feeling or emotion – but self, here, stable as the I that stands aligned as a physical being that is no longer crucified by knowledge and information as the mind’s experience seeking ‘life’ in knowledge and information generating experiences that are finite and induced just like any other drug-related enlightenment.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ever believe that the truth of reality could only be accessed through knowledge, information or chemically induced experiences wherein everything that I saw was only myself, my own mind and in no way was I actually ‘being here’ as the actual realization of who I am as one and equal as life, but it was only a temporary mind-experience that lead me to seek further into knowledge and information, missing out the basic point which is: not having to ‘seek’ something outside of myself to live, but rather stopping the constant thinking, believing, perceiving, mind chatter and be here, breathing, being still yet self directive which is what I always overlooked when it came to seeking ‘enlightenment,’

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to seek enlightenment as a way to evade taking Responsibility for myself, my world, my reality because I thought that through my own purification,  I would have an ‘easy-access’ to life, eternity and all the blissful experiences I sought – never taking into consideration the totality that is self-here as one and equal, but only minding my own business, only being concerned about ‘my’ experience only, which is the ultimate form of selfishness and self-interest that all-seeking spiritual people are currently perpetuating and feeding as themselves.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become obsessed with alchemy, its symbols, its illustrations and the depiction of the ‘majesty’ of life after walking a process of self-purification from the nigredo, to the albedo to the rubedo which is what I sought to be and become ‘no matter what,’ wherein I neglected at all times the actuality of the world that is here, wherein billions are having no means to eat – yet there I was, wanting to ‘ascend’ and be a super-consciousness being that could ‘the pattern of life’ which was only the patterns of consciousness itself as my own mind, reminding me that I have enslaved life to a pair of figures and symbols in an attempt to live.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become infatuated with knowledge, believing that ‘I was on to something’ and I was ‘this close’ to ‘get it’ wherein the chemical marriage implied that I had to fulfill a ‘journey’ in my life that was related to higher knowledge, higher understanding that made ‘me’ special and ‘unique’ because I felt as if it was ‘calling me,’ when in fact, it was all self induced and learned from examples in popular culture, just like from Jodorowsky and other ‘masters’ that I would read in order to make ‘my own religion’ based on personal self-interest to ‘be one with God’

 

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to seek God in patterns that I could see with my physical eyes, seeking god in the ‘abject,’ seeking god in Hebrew words, symbols, alchemical terms and trying to find a meaning to life, without ever realizing that life has no meaning but is and exists in itself –

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to deposit my attention to ‘wonderful words’ that would mean something ‘too cryptic’ for me to understand, which made me want to understand and study more to be this ‘erudite’ in the matter, which would apparently make me ‘more’ than myself which is how intellectualism operates: the more you store as knowledge and information, the more ‘valuable’ you are in a system where life has been sold in the name of money, which provides enough ‘power’ that creates self-importance.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that my life was being ‘tested’ by life itself to see whether I could find and get all the clues to ‘get to god/ life/ eternal life’ which is how I became rather obsessed with numbers, religions, alchemy, gnosticism, tarot and anything that could ‘guide me’ to understand who I was and what I was doing here, following a self-importance journey to ‘enlightenment’ that only existed in my own head, feeling like John Nash having an entire conspiracy in the head, watching Pi and the Holy Mountain wherein I thought I could find ‘the meaning’ to it all.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that the symmetry and composition in a work of art was pointing out that I was trying to ‘give myself messages through images/ drawings’ which is nothing but the ultimate mindfuck that I participated in and created for myself, wherein I believed that I was drawing out my past lives and pointing out to me ‘the road to follow’ in this lifetime, which is nothing else but the product of knowledge and information that I used in order to make myself special, ‘unique’ and somehow more ‘powerful’ than the rest of the mortals because of having this ‘unique’ fascination with ‘all things divine’ which was only me in my mind seeking some grand entertainment to evade my responsibility in the world, evade actually planning a physical tangible practical living plan that I could use in order to LIVE in this physical reality, but instead being planning ‘who I would be’ once that ‘I’ve reached the ultimate step of enlightenment’ on Earth.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that smoking weed in any way was ‘opening consciousness’ and allowing me to ‘see more of reality’ which is one of the justifications I used to not give it up at the time.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that all bits of experience, all people, all events had a meaning in the puzzle I was busy building as my ‘spiritual journey,’ without realizing or even wanting to accept that I had created it in my mind all the way, and I was just giving more attention to that which ‘fascinated me,’ rather than toward that which represented facing myself, facing my own responsibility and getting to know my own mind as the real creator of this extensive mindfuck.

 

I realize that I used and abused my physical body in the name of seeking ‘life’ outside of itself as knowledge and information, which proves to what extent we have never even questioned the fact that we are not even aware of every breath that we take, of every single piece of the Earth that we consume in order to continue living and the processes it goes through in ourselves, IN our own physical body – it is ludicrous, yet we are here and walking the process to stop all mind-curiosity toward ‘elevated/ higher/ drugged knowledge’ that has had In No Way any consequence to life.

 

I realize that my initial ‘Love for Knowledge’ as philosophy, as the desire to ‘know more’ was merely self interest, and that my knowledge became my own cross to bear of which I now take Self-Responsibility for, because I am realizing the simplicity of who I really am here as the physical body that breathes and is able to exist without experiences.

 

I commit myself to share my process with anyone that is currently ‘in the journey’ to enlightenment or any other form of spiritual endeavor, to share with them how I have realized the mindfuck that it all was while abusing the physical body, the physical reality and neglecting the actual problems on Earth while seeking my personal satisfaction fueled by chemicals, thoughts and experiences that only made ‘one’ special, while disregarding the rest of the world as equally HERE as ourselves.

 

I commit myself to establish myself as the physical body to ensure that I am no longer bound to the memories of that which I perceived as blissful as all the experiences induced by chemical reactions that I equated to ‘god’ and ‘enlightenment,’ which would have been rather addictive if I had not stopped right away – thanks to Desteni because that’s the only way I realized what I was in fact doing to myself.

 

I commit myself to expose the fact that no knowledge, no special gnostic information,  no alchemic process will create LIFE as Life is already HERE as each one of us, wherein all that we have done is veiled it through further knowledge and information, instead of realizing it as who we are, here as our very physical body that is not bound to the mind’s processes to exist.

 

I commit myself to expose the desire for enlightenment as self interest as that continual desire to be ‘more than’ who we already are here as physical beings.

 

I commit myself to continue walking my process of writing, applying Self Forgiveness and Self-Corrective Application to ensure that all knowledge that I had used to define life is purified and equalized as Self, wherein there is no trace of greatness or ‘grandeur’ existent within and as myself, but actually walk the process to let go of this energetic fascinations that I had been so keen toward.

 

I commit myself to reveal how no enlightenment or spiritual endeavor creates an actual physical change in the world that is visible to ALL or creating any form of best for all outcome, but is merely self interest linked to money as that state of ‘happiness’ and ‘bliss’ that can only be obtained as an experience whenever your stomach has enough food, your body is properly hydrated and your environment is safe and secure from ‘the evil’ in this world that is created ever moment that positivity is sought and pursued in this world.

 

We Must Stop.

 

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Day 41: “Knowledge is Power"

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to deliberately become a knowledge-seeker wherein I deemed that I could get to be ‘worthy’ through accumulating knowledge and information that would enable me to ‘judge the world/ others’ with sufficient ‘cause’ as I had equated knowledge = power as power over others.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately accumulate knowledge as an ‘attribute’ that I CULTivated in order to be able to ‘worth’ myself according to the accumulation of knowledge and information that I used as ‘ammunition’ in order to be able to always have answer to everything, and within that, being able to ‘win’ at all times for giving the correct answer and feel ‘good’ about myself – in this

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to program me to become a knowledge and information sponge in the name of my personal benefit wherein I ‘knew’ that it would then not matter that I wasn’t accepted according to being a ‘suitable image’ in society, but I could be recognized, valued and worthy according to the knowledge and information that I decided to accumulate as a long-term inversion, wherein I could then get to ‘win’ over others through such knowledge and get people to value me and admire me according to the amount of knowledge and information that I could accumulate throughout my lifetime in my desire to become a ‘knowledgeable person’ that would be respected for ‘always having a bright opinion’ as the idea of who I wanted to be, as the one that could write about others and in that, having power even over those that were creating original-works (in writing/ art) as I could then use the ‘power of knowledge’ as words in order to either bash them = make my ego grow through feeling good about ‘bashing another with knowledge and information’ – or enhancing their ego through using knowledge and information to validate and justify their work according to my own knowledge and information reference.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that without knowledge, I would be a ‘no one.’

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself for ever having suffered because of realizing that I had spent a long time accumulating knowledge as my own ‘inversion’ that could give me some profit in the future, as I expected and had directed me to become a ‘critique’ of reality, arts, culture and in that, thinking that I was ‘on the right path’ because of all the amount of knowledge and information that I had filled myself up with while growing up.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continue perpetuating a system that is basing a child’s education only on knowledge and information in various ‘sectors’ that are in no way considering that the skills and abilities of each human being differ, and that knowledge and information without actual application is useless.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed my role/ position as being a ‘opinionated person’ that could bring up knowledge and information as a means to create an ‘impact’ that could place me upon others and in that, getting my positive experience for being praised whenever my teachers would say ‘oh you always have the answer’ or ‘what Don’t You know’ which would always place me in a position of mixed embarrassment and feeling good for taking that as a compliment, which means that I would mask the ‘good feeling’ with a ‘negative experience’ in order to not seem as conceited with knowledge toward my fellow classmates.

 

I forgive myself that I ever allowed myself to take for granted every breath that sustained my personal pursuit of power through knowledge in place, using my physical body as a container of data that I could access whenever I would get the opportunity to ‘dazzle’ someone with my ‘wits’ and ‘win’ over something/someone by ‘knowing the right answer,’ which is how I allowed myself to become only a single personality that accepted that ‘being intelligent’ and ‘knowledgeable’ was ‘my place in society,’ and deliberately neglected any other activity that had nothing to do with arts, culture, books, intellectualism at its finest, within this

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deify myself as knowledge and information – which is energy of/ as the mind – and defying my own physicality every moment that I gave my power away to thinking and seeking to be ‘more knowledgeable’ believing that the ‘answer to life was there,’ and never considering my very own breathing-ability as the real life-giver, despite the evidence that knowledge and information and all intellectual in this world have only done one thing: thinking about the world, not living.

 

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to feel like the ‘queen of the world,’ when winning spelling contests and ‘beating males’ in the contest, as that apparently made me ‘super intelligent’ and making me feel better for having ‘them’ below me, which gave a specific sense of power as the knowledge and robotic task that spelling represents. I realize that the moment that I sought to win, I was fully participating in the same pursuit of triumph that I have cultivated my entire life, and that has been linked to me wanting to be recognized and valued according to the knowledge an information that ‘I possessed’ as a way to be recognized within society for that, as I deemed that I only was ‘good at’ mind-related work, but not physical world – and yet believe that I was ‘on the right track’ because

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perpetuate a world-system wherein knowledge is paid more than actual physical work, which is a point that I have criticized of the system as to why people that are above in the hierarchies are paid extensive amounts of money, while only giving orders and sitting around all day – while people that would do the actual work to keep the money system in place get paid close to nothing, which I deemed as ‘absolutely unfair’ yet, I was aiming at becoming a part of the people that earn a lot of money for thinking and not doing much, which proves the double standards that exist when one thinks that ‘my job is to have opinions about reality and intellectualize it’ and nothing else, which is diminishing my entirety to become nothing else but an archive of knowledge and information that has no practical-living experience, but only gets paid for/ is recognized by all knowledge and information that has been accumulated in order to be able to use it to ‘talk about reality’ without actually being a part of reality as in physically walking the world-system, but only staying at the comfort of my own mind that gets money out of thinking reality.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that whatever I could see in another was ‘the reality’ of such person, as all that I was seeing was their mind according to my own mind without really taking into consideration that all that we have ever been is the accumulation of manifested consequence as the effects of the primordial separation from who we really are as life into energy – which means that anything that I could perceive, believe and think another to be, is only me viewing myself according to my own ‘frame of mind’ as the frame that I have limited myself with to never Live, here as a physical being, but only live through/ as my own mind – believing myself to be the knowledge and information that I accepted as ‘who I am’ while growing up – within this, becoming my own set of knowledge and information in separation of  my physical body that doesn’t require to be judged/ assessed/ defined/ given adjectives to in order to exist.

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to stand in front of the mirror and judge my body through the eyes of the mind as the eyes of that energetic consequence of separation form myself as my physical body, which implies that I would always see me as ‘not good enough’ / ‘flawed’ because of who I had accepted and allowed myself to be and become as ‘my own mind’ – within this

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard every single cell that allows me to breathe, to move, to drink, to eat, to walk, to interact with my environment wherein all of this time I had deemed it as just ‘dead flesh,’ which is an absolute insult as the only thing that can end up dead is the physical consumed by my own continued and deliberate participation in the mind. I realize that the ability to direct myself as my mind is absolutely possible – therefore, I allow myself to stop thinking and simply approach my own body for the physicality that it is, instead of diminishing it to being subject of my own judgments that exist only in the righteousness of who I am as my mind.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become self-righteousness based on the certainty that ‘who I am is my mind’ and thus, cultivated my own mind in order to make of it a long-term investment that I could later on ‘use’ as a means to obtain money/power in this world as an ‘intellectual’ which was part of the aims I had toward my life, wherein I certainly abused my body due to using it only as a knowledge-carrier and allowing me to simply exist to deify knowledge and information, while neglecting and separating myself from every breath that I took for granted throughout my life.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ever invest endless hours improving my own mind as to be able to ‘judge’ reality with proper tools and ways to always ‘win’ and have ‘the ace’ under my sleeve – which means that everything that I CULTivated throughout my life was consuming knowledge and information that I kept/ stored in the future projected belief that ‘I will someday need it’ and in that, locking myself into the future as knowledge and information, while neglecting my very physical body and taking every breath for granted, because all I ever thought myself to be was ‘a thought,’ an idea/ image/ presentation toward others only  – where was I? Lost in translation, accumulating knowledge and information that could apparently make me ‘more’ and ‘more worthy’ than others. In this

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accumulate knowledge and information as a means to always have ‘the answer’ and having stored it in means of always being able to ‘win over others’ which means that I trained myself to become nothing else but a lie-brary of useless knowledge and information in order to always ‘be right.’

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to become a knowledgeable elitist or intellectual, wherein I sought to satisfy my own personal enjoyment of talking to ‘like-minded people,’ which means that all I wanted was another pair of ears and mouth in order to regurgitate the same knowledge and information that I was fond of,  and call that ‘affinity’ and ‘same interests,’ when in fact the only interest was me asserting ‘who I am’ as my own mind, as my own set of knowledge and information that I then created an energetic experience toward whenever another is able to relate to it, which means that anything that two people may have experienced – apparently- about another was in fact only about self as the mind getting confirmation from another mind on similar self-created programming.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to develop kinship toward specific people in my world according to how I had judged them as ‘knowledgeable,’ ‘intelligent’ and ‘well read,’ which were qualities that I actually thought about myself, but never accepted it as ‘who I am’ out of wanting to be ‘humble,’ and in that, simply seeking to be part of a group/ circle in society that is only looking at the intellectual aspect of reality, philosophizing and having endless conversations about how ‘know it all’ we were – and Not focusing on the actual reality, which is how I became absolutely oblivious to the world for quite some time, while seeking to CULTivate knowledge as CULTure in the name of personal power.

 

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to only get along with those that had similar mind-cultivation and egos, which means that I sought and aimed to ‘get my spot’ in society along with ‘like-minded people,’ which is the foundation of separation and elitism through only becoming a part of the social-networks that we want to be a part of based on who we are as our mind, instead of regarding life as the physical practical living as the actual bond that can be in fact extended toward any other human being, by virtue of realizing that we all have the same body, the same systems inside in common which makes us all equally dependent from the Earth to live – within this, realizing that knowledge plays only a role of self-definition in means of separation as a way to continue competing and believing that ‘there is not enough for all, we must excel to be able to get it all’ – and in that, agreeing to only be the rats in the cage that always seek power, self-gratification and apparent ‘control’ over others through ‘knowing more/ better.’

 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see how I have never in fact lived a relationship with another, nor myself as all that I had deemed myself to be was my personality, my ego as my beliefs, ideas, preferences and general ‘view’ upon life, which is knowledge and information that I absorbed through my parents, through school, teachers, classmates, TV, family members which are the places wherein I asserted ‘who I am’ only as a daughter, a student, a cousin, a niece, a friend and growing up with the same idea of myself according to such social roles, plus the ‘professional role’ which is what I decided to be/ become based on wanting to continue satisfying my own ‘exclusivity’ of ‘who I am’ as knowledge and information, which means that the choices I made in life were only based on self-interest according to what I wanted to be and become based on ‘who I am as my mind,’ and never ever actually considering ‘How can I prepare myself to become a being that supports the environment/ the world-system to become a best-for-all outcome where life can be unconditionally supported?

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to judge others for their ‘career choices’ in life wherein I never dared to question myself and my career choice/ choices in life due to me being simply hoping and dreaming that the world would end and I would not have to study/ become someone in the system – and/ or simply hoped that I could become someone ‘famous’ in the art world and suddenly be having enough money to live well without a regular job – yet neglecting taking all the practical steps for that, and as such only existing as a believer and hope-keeper that ‘good fortune’ could come my way out nowhere, which is the consequence of having always only thought about reality, but never actually living it.

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to judge that I always ‘was right’ and everyone else was simply ‘wrong,’ wherein I allowed myself to live a life of a ‘secret agent’ of my own Secret Mind, wherein I developed a constant paranoia of fearing that people would always only approach me out of convenience, and not genuinely approaching me because they appreciated/ wanted to spend time with me – without realizing that in a energy-seeking reality, all actions are directed through/ as energy – wherein only if we remain here in every breath through and while directing ourselves with others, can we say that we have in fact heard /interacted / communicated  – otherwise, it is simply another ego-inflation machine that is only viewing everyone as ‘enemies’ and potential ‘threats’ to ‘who I am’ as my own mind.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate and perpetuate a world system wherein people are divided according to the knowledge and information they possess, which is another form of control and instigating survivalist-fears according to ‘not being well educated = less chance of making’ it through’ which means that we have valued an education as knowledge and information above the right and ability to have a dignified life that all should be endowed with by virtue of birth – wherein those that never had access to knowledge and information that is remunerated as ‘education’ within this world are simply numbed out of the equation within this reality wherein ‘the more knowledge you accumulate = the wealthier you (can) become.’

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to spite my own life with pursuing a profession wherein an actual practical interest to make this world a better place for all was never part of my plans, as I always sought to do it ‘my way’ wherein I could have all the ‘right intentions’ to do so, but never considered entering the system and changing it from within, which proves how through knowledge I valued and thought that I could ‘make it’ without having to really work on it and become a part of the mechanism that can change the way things work/ function in this world.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Not question why and how come we as humanity in a world system value knowledge and information above life, wherein out education is based on acquiring knowledge and information that prepares us only to perpetuate the same system of knowledge and information that gets remunerated as a way to sustain our own ‘ideal’ of reality through money, which is having “created” a reality based on thin-air, just like our current monetary system that is based on knowledge and information, but not on actual physical living that considers all life in equality.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that it is through knowledge that I separated myself from the realization of who I am as one and equal to another, as knowledge is assessing others in separation of myself, while neglecting the very substance that we are all equally made of, that doesn’t require to be ‘defined’ and ‘assessed’ in separation of myself, but simply self-realized as who and what I am as oneness and equality of life.

 

I commit myself to stop any form of disregard toward the very breath that I take in the name of becoming only knowledge and information that can be ‘valued’ by my own mind and ‘others’ minds as ‘who I am.’

 

I commit myself to stop placing any form of worth and value toward another and myself based on the knowledge that I/ others possess, which is the very first step to get out of my mind and into the physical body that doesn’t require knowledge and information to function and nurture itself, it simply requires me to support myself at a physical level, using knowledge and information that is practical and supportive in the immediacy of its application.

 

I commit myself to stop the war against my very own body, my very cells,the entire conglomeration of beings that I have disregarded at all times while focusing on improving my grey matter of brain that I deemed is ‘who I am’ and valuing myself only as knowledge and information which is in fact, that which will cease to exist – as knowledge can never be life.

 

I commit myself to prove that no knowledge and information has made a difference in this world and that it has only created and perpetuated the ‘gap’ and difference between humans beings according to ‘who we are’ as a mind that is able to accumulate knowledge and information as an inversion that gets rewarded in this world system where money rules and the physical is only abused to keep perpetuating such fallacy.

 

I commit myself to expose how knowledge and information is sectarianism in society as it exists now, because we have denied the ability for all to have equal quality education, which means that knowledge must be a practical means to support life in Equality and this must be the basis of a new educational system that can be beneficial for all beings equally.

 

I commit myself to create a world-system that values LIFE only and uses only knowledge and information as a means to give and receive what’s best for all, which means that life won’t be at the service of knowledge any longer, but stand equal and one at the service of life, wherein no more hierarchies are created out of ‘knowing’ because there won’t be any special reward toward knowledge, but simply using it as a means to benefit humanity and improve the quality of living in all ways.

 

I commit myself to expose about this reality being our own crafted mind control wherein we have valued knowledge and information above life and how it is imperative to stop supporting the same mechanisms of conflicting reality within our minds and instead, getting into practical living reality where physical living solutions must be integrated as part of any form of education that is truly aiming at creating a world system that works for all in equality.

 

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