604. Breathe, Keep Calm AND Have a Plan

Or how to first sort out the emotional fears and reactions to unexpected natural disasters while developing a plan of action to know what to do in such cases.

This has been quite a literally shaky couple of weeks with the earthquakes we’ve gotten here in Mexico and I’ll share how I experienced both of them in a significantly different manner based on how I was able to support myself with the Desteni tools in order to understand my experience within the first one. So I’ll describe the first experience as ‘the problem’ so to speak where I got most conflicted about it and the second earthquake experience as the solution or the different outcome once that I was able to address all the points that emerged during ‘the problem’ experience in the first earthquake over a week ago.

There was an 8.1 earthquake on September 7th late at night and I had a hard time in it because it was the first time I was experiencing such a strong earthquake where I live and I had no plan of action compared to where I lived before. The immediate thing I did was grab my phone and start calling people… wrong choice all the way! of course lines paralyze and in that I wasn’t paying attention to acting in the moment to get out of the house or find a ‘safer spot’ to be in. My desire in that moment was to call someone to feel some comfort, some ‘company’, in fact wanting someone to kind of ‘know I’m alive and shit might hit the fan and I might die’ type of fear considering it was at night and I was alone, and it wasn’t going to be as fast to get out because all doors were very well locked and I had no ‘mind’ to think of getting the keys and opening, at all, because I paralyzed in my desires triggered by fears: fear of being alone, fearing of dying ultimately.

In that moment I felt that my legs were quivery and even if I didn’t feel ‘alarmed’ in my mind, my physical body just felt like a wet noodle that would not be able to move anyway further than being under the door frame, holding my phone and trying to call people, which didn’t work at all, leaving then a sensation of feeling alone/lonely and in those moments desiring to not be alone as in going into an emotional experience and thought of  ‘I don’t want to die alone’ or ‘I wish I could be hugging someone right now’ type of emotional pattern that I identified with my experience that came after it all happened. I also felt my upper legs just feeling really weak, which is interesting to cross reference how my sister had the exact same experience in it, which is just emotional fear manifested in the body.

Besides these emotional aspects, the momentary experience is also linked to me not having any plan of ‘what to do’ in those moments, because I had not at all taken the time to look at possible scenarios considering this is a highly active seismic area and it’s definitely common sensical to have a plan of action, which I had not taken the time to look at.

So, I sounded self forgiveness in those following days in order to see what were all the emotional bits that were in fact being the cause for my experience, such as how I felt alone/lonely, my desire for physical closeness with someone in those moments – which is in fact me recreating a previous experience of an earthquake where I felt comfort in hugging my sister as it was taking place, therefore this time feeling ‘without that comfort’ because ‘there was no one I could hug.’ Here for example some might say well it makes sense to prefer not being alone, sure, but here I also had to accept my current reality and in that self-forgive my own conditions of what would be ‘preferable’ to experience in those moments, because these are points I have no control on, and all I can do then is ensure I am not holding a memory onto myself as a source of reference which is in fact a memory that involves a lot of fear, anguish and false sense of comfort – all of these points I had to address within me through self-forgiveness in order to clearly see how I have conditioned myself to react in such emotional physical fear during earthquakes.

The ultimate fear behind it all was fear of death and fear of ‘dying alone’ specifically – which means  yes, having to self-forgive the fear of dying in an earthquake due to a collapse, then also self-forgiving some of the reactions I’ve learned from how family members react to earthquakes and so enable me to see how becoming emotional is not at all the way to face these situations, and instead realizing how I could transform all of those emotional reactions to instead having a clear plan of action as in ‘what to do’ in such situations.

I then wrote out – as in scripting myself, the same that we do with ‘writing corrective statements’ – where I described how as soon as I start feeling the tremor, I immediately go downstairs and out of the house – if there’s no more time to go out, then having some reasonable spots where to remain in such situations depending where I’m at in the house. In this what I did was ensure that my immediate response to an earthquake is to act, move, go as fast as I can downstairs and out of the house , having identified two different spots on the front and the back where I can be in.

This 8.1 earthquake is the strongest oscillatory one that I’ve felt, it was quite bad and yes I also felt powerless to do anything to stop it of course, which I then also had to make peace with in order to rather focus on what I can do, instead of being ‘waiting for it to stop’ and paralyze in the meantime.

Now, back to September 19th’s earthquake which was unfortunately trepidatory, it was a very different scenario, a radical change took place within me – lol, it sucks because I’ve been having these recurrent slight movements felt and just as I am typing I feel these slight movements, but as some people say, it’s simply a leftover from the previous experience so all I can do is reference my surroundings to see if something is really moving or not. Sometimes the aftershocks are quite common but lower in intensity, so in any case unless things shake in a more violent manner, I don’t have to necessarily ‘go out.’

So this time around of course it was a different scenario, there was broad daylight, I wasn’t alone, the door was open (we have to lock everything very well at night unfortunately since it is not a ‘safe’ country to leave doors open etc.) I was in the same spot as in the previous one, here at my desk, so I dropped everything, this time I didn’t stop to ‘take the cellphone’ or anything, just went outside as fast as I could and there was of course a ‘rush’ mode within me, but it wasn’t at all an experience of fear or paralyzing as in not being able to move or feeling emotional or physically weak as it happened in the previous one, and I was able to this time tell others to breathe and calm down while being quite stable within me, of course while checking if something could potentially fall over me.

The conclusion is that having sounded self forgiveness on all the emotional points and fears that emerged in that moment as I was experiencing the first quake, even in relation to past memories of earthquakes, really assisted with being able to clear the emotional reaction to this kind of unpredictable events and instead focus entirely on ensuring I take care of myself first: moving, acting, going into an actual ‘survival mode’ which in fact enables one to act quickly, move faster – which I had not experienced at all in the previous one where my focus went onto ‘others’ instead of focusing on myself first, and I found out it was because I was reacting emotionally to it rather than having a practical plan on what to do in those moments.

This time I was able to rather assist others that did go into a bit of a shock for it such as my mother, to whom I was able to assist in calming down as I was also calm and was able to share all of this that I’ve just written out, what I did to practically settle myself and how it had actually worked well for me, which was cool. I also assisted in the sense of doing something physical to settle ourselves out of seeing all the incoming information like baking a pie together so that she had something to focus on for a moment while her house had no power. So this is another way to yes be together in those moments and do something physical that ‘settles one down’ in the aftermath, because one usually is not hungry, only consuming as much info as one can and in that yeah a form of psychosis can ensue if one doesn’t remain grounded and settled in those moments. So, being creative is also a suggestion in how to face those moments.

I also then was able to visit some friends and yes, share our stories of how we spent the time during the earthquake but all in all have a moment together and find the time to relax a bit and comfort each other, share tips of what to do, etc. Because it is kind of silly to feel ‘alone’ as an emotional outcome during this kind of disasters when there is virtually no person that would not have experienced it at all and in that, it does become something we can all assist each other to walk through, which I did through keeping in contact with my friends in Mexico City as well and sharing my solutions and ways of looking at these events so as to possibly assist them as well in settling with it – and of course receiving that support back from them which I am grateful for.

In the previous earthquake I also had a harder time because of not being able to contact my parents, which I later on knew didn’t even feel it because they were on the road, and I then learned how the way to contact people is through apps like whatsapp because all regular cell lines get saturated in those moments. So, as the song goes ‘you live, you learn’ and take note of it to know ‘what to do’ next time.

In this I am quite fortunate because there were no real damages where I live, however I have been looking at what’s going on in Mexico City and that’s a different scenario, things are not at all easy there and yes, I’ve had to also stabilize myself and realize that I cannot go to certain places to try and help when I don’t have the ways or resources to directly do it, nor is it a good idea to just play savior when it’s not in my immediate environment.

I found this audio on ‘the savior complex’ quite supportive as a preparation for what I experienced – unknowingly so – this past Tuesday, and I recommend checking it out because I bet we can all relate to feeling sad, helpless, powerless to change certain things in our environment, and instead focus back on what I can do, how I can continue living and supporting myself and others in a way that is practical and available to me at the moment, so, have a listen to it because it assisted me in understanding the ‘bigger picture’ of things and within doing so, not perpetuate the emotional reactions to this kind of events.

Also in my case it is to let go of wanting things to just go ‘back to normal’ quickly, there are many halts in activities going on like schools and normal activities, which is understandable, I have to make peace with the fact that this is an event of heavy impact that does alter the ‘natural course’ of events, and that we will eventually see what is it that we can learn from these events as we go.

Sometimes we want to understand ‘why’ these things happen when it comes to natural events, but I’d been rather focusing on seeing how we can prepare ourselves beforehand and if we can’t, then how we can face these situations in a practical way, focusing on reality, what we see and is directly happening in our environment – instead of focusing on the inner-experience as memories, emotions, fears, future projections related to ‘the worst case scenario’ that clog our ability to act in the physical. For all of that clogging, there’s the self-writing, self-forgiveness and writing out a practical plan of action which was of great support to me.

Thanks for reading.  

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124. Who am I within ‘Wanting to be Alone’?

It is clear that it is a mind possession what we go through when desiring or fearing something. Wanting to be alone is just the polarity of actually fearing to be alone and as such, creating a pattern of desire and suppression as fear within events that I then define according to this single character as ‘The Loner.’

If we look at ourselves as society, we all eventually hit this spot of secluding ourselves within a constant desire or fear to be with another, fearing establishing relationships and at the same time desiring to be with others.

We have become so conflictive in our minds that we can structure an entire game of self-interest wherein all that exists is our personal benefit: ‘Oh I want to be alone/ Oh I want to be with another’ – and where’s Life in all that? Where is an actual Self-Agreement that we can consider as an actual point of Self Support that is not dependent on ‘external points’ such as people, environment and situations to  define who we are.

 

I realize throughout this exploration of ‘the loner’ that I have mostly danced around a desire to experience myself in a different way in relation to having company or not, which is then deliberately seeking to play a character that we can become for a moment and establish that as ‘who we are:’ I am alone or I am not alone anymore – and that’s it. And in that we can build and create a thousand events and stories wherein we revolve around a constant friction and conflict in relation to one single point, while everything that we are as human beings that breathe and that require to consider that there is much more than one single point of desire or fear that we trap ourselves into when believing ourselves to be these thoughts in our head, that later on become actual actions that we ‘give life’ to literally, as all actions based on desires or fear are in fact not based on a practical and common sensical consideration of who we are as individuals that exist in a physical biosphere  that we have abused when seeking only to satisfy our hopes, dreams and desires that we sometimes do not even realize we are ‘living for’ because we tend to make it ‘ok’ to keep one single piece of heaven in our pocket, without realizing that such heaven has always been an illusion,  a sugary thought that we keep just because it makes us feel content for a moment – yet it has no substance as a practical living consideration wherein we actually become beings that are able to consider another as an actual equal and one part of ourselves – instead we antagonize and desire each other, like strangers that cannot conceive that we are in fact one and equal.

 

Back to the question:

Who am I within ‘Wanting to Be Alone’?

It is just a character of self manipulation that is designed to actually activate the absolute opposite as a strong desire to create a relationship when and as the ‘conditions’ apply, which is once again a character that seeks to upgrade itself into a ‘completeness’ when being with another/ others, eventually creating yet another form of separation from that avoidance to be with others to an absolute dependency toward others – never in fact seeing and realizing that self is here as one and equal and as such, it is to step out of these limited versions of ourselves: struggling to be with others, yet wanting to be with others and in that just rocking back and forth like in a ping pong match wherein there is no actual ability to win or lose as none of the points are in fact ‘real’ – as we are never in fact all alone yet we cannot ‘complete’ ourselves with another either.

 

So this is a point of Self Honesty wherein we realize how we have created characters to stand as a form of entertainment and conflict to only exist up there in our minds, thinking why we would rather be alone or why we would want to be with another – and where is the rest? It’s simply out of the picture as we become possessed with one single point only, going in circles chasing after each pole instead of actually allowing ourselves to stop, breathe and look for a moment what it is in reality that we are whining about: is this character in any way supporting me to actually take on the practical considerations within this physical world that I require to do.

 

It is rather ludicrous how we have become the characters to such an extent that there are moments wherein we cannot apparently see beyond the fog, yet we are always here, breathing, an entire physical body keeping ourselves alive while we consume ourselves with emotions or feelings that we accept as ‘who we are.’ This is then how we have to consider how to stand one and equal as the mind to become self directive as the mind, so that everything we participate in our day to day, moment by moment reality is no longer the type of prefab limitations such as ‘the loner’ characters that only exist as the limited version that we accepted and allowed ourselves to consume ourselves with.

 

It’s definitely time to live, and by living at this stage it is to stop participating in all characters that we have created as the surrogate versions of ourselves, living for us just because we were too frightened to even consider that there is another way to exist.

I have realized how the participation in the mind is the point that becomes an addictive experience, believing that it is ‘perfectly normal’ to have some type of mind-discomfort translated as an actual pathology that we accept as ‘real’ such as ‘being a loner,’ which is just a delusion I cultivated in order to create my own character to entertain myself with – not necessary.

I have seen and realized how there is an actual fear to stop participating in our ‘personal favorites’ such as usual behavioral patterns that backup the idea of ‘who we are’ in our minds. It’s almost like an aberration to the mind the moment that we do not participate in emotions and feelings and that is an actual point of self-movement, wherein we stop acting out on that which we saw as ‘usual’ within us when the necessary conditions/ context would present itself to then look into our character wardrobe and decide what type of conflictive or pleasing ‘nature’ we want to play out in such moment, never ever realizing or considering the point of abuse that this represents.

So, it’s cool to see and realize how this character was just another way to keep me entertained in my tunnel vision in relation to myself and others

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to diminish myself to a single character in my mind such as ‘The Loner’ character wherein I reduce an entire moment of who I am as flesh to one single ‘self’ that wants/ needs/ desires or rejects being with others and creating a positive or negative energetic churning and sparks about it, which is absolutely delusional to exist as a default experience that in no way assists as support me to be here as breath, physically living and considering where and how I have to direct myself to support me to actually consider how I can be and become an example of what it means to live the word: Equality as Life wherein no reaction or wavering exists when the decision to Live is done and placed in motion by ourselves,  I commit myself to LIVE as that is what we have not yet done/been in fact throughout our existence here: Life in Equality and Oneness

 

I see and realize that because we have all existed in our personal-limitations we have only feared actually getting to know each other because we have even feared establishing an equal and one relationship with ourselves, because we had not considered ourselves ‘enough’ but were actually waiting for something o someone to ‘fill in the void’ and because in our minds not just ‘anything’ can play that role. This is how we become hermits and loners to not have to actually realize that we were protecting ourselves from the actual opportunity of communicating and interacting with others as equals, which implies we cannot generate any positive or negative experience about it, but simply get used to and learn how to live and interact without any emotional or feeling input in order to assess it as ‘being actually living.’

This is how we break the addictive pattern of generating any positive or negative experience upon being alone or being with others as I then instead decide to remain here as breath.

This is the actual fear: just being here, in simplicity – how ludicrous it is – yet it makes ‘perfect sense’ as in the mind we’re always having to be bounding from one side to the other in order to keep ourselves ‘alive’ as the ‘who I am’ of/as the mind. Not necessary.

Alone is what I exist as here, as a physical breathing human body – yet I am a cell that is part of the whole that functions in unison. Right now we’re not Sound enough in our living – thus I align myself to live as the physical which means: no more powering up experiences that I entertain myself within my mind, living here as breath is like living rehab for the very first real time, giving our physical the breaths that we missed when searching for our next greatest hit. Time to live our commitment to live in and as simplicity in every breath here.

 

“We are not alone in this. And no ONE alone will change the world.”
– Bernard Poolman 

 

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For further review on ‘The Loner’ Character:

• 119. Oddity: Please, Leave Me Alone
• 120. ‘I don’t like breaking my routine’
• 121. Childhood Anti-Social Behavior
• 122. ‘Is this as good as it gets?’
• 123. Home Alone: a Loner’s Paradise

 

Blogs that enable you to understand the 7 Year Journey To Life Commitment_

Day 124: TRUE ACTIVIST TEAMLIFE

How Thoughts Activate Personalities – Part 2 (Self-Commitments): DAY 124

 

GREAT Support my Marduk in these two interviews wherein I was able to see and realize the dedication to life required in order to LIVE this process day by day ensuring that we establish ourselves as the physical in the physical practical reality

Reptilians – Marduk and the Existential Mind (Part 1) – Part 81

Ever wondered what ‘black holes’?

Reptilians – Marduk and the Existential Mind (Part 2) – Part 82

123. Home Alone: a Loner’s Paradise

Do not disturb – an ideal external silence as a positive ideal fix for the mind that seeks to preserve itself as ‘the loner’ at all times.

Continuing from…

• 119. Oddity: Please, Leave Me Alone
• 120. ‘I don’t like breaking my routine’
• 121. Childhood Anti-Social Behavior
• 122. ‘Is this as good as it gets?’

Within ‘The Loner’ character in relation to the ideal of ‘home,’ there’s a particular point I have faced wherein it is not only ‘wanting to be at home’ in order to be ‘at ease/peace’ within me, but also wanting to be all alone in the house itself,  not wanting to have people around me, not listening to the chatter, laughter for extended periods of time, or music (that I don’t particularly like,) or just plain loud voices. I like to be at peace alone, wherein I know that no one will disturb me, there will be ‘no surprises’ as in having people suddenly yelling or screaming or shifting things around – in essence no disturbance, it’s all me. These are the thoughts of ‘the control freak’ character in relation to the ideal-experience of ‘being alone,’ which is certainly only a mind creation in relation to how I created this idea of freedom in my mind linked to not having anyone around me/ being alone – being without observers or noise makers at home.

The backchat around this point is the following, and it stems from the most prominent experience I have face in relation to living in a house with other beings wherein I have and still am facing myself with regards to this desire to ‘be alone/ be left alone’ at home and having no one around me.

I won’t be bothered with noises around me

No more crazy laughter

I’m going to be at last free

All space is for me

No disturbance or unpredictable visitors

If I could just be alone all the time

 

Self-Forgiveness and Self Corrective Statements

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a positive experience of weekends wherein I know that I will be alone at home, simply because of how I have made myself believe that being around others is something that bothers me and annoys me, which is all based on how I have defined my beingness according to people around me and in no way actually considering that who I am here as breath is constant and stable and that any other belief of being annoyed by noises/ people around me, is just part of how I programmed myself to always want to be alone/ always have a silent environment, because of linking noises to disturbance and as such, creating a negative experience within me whenever I do hear ‘noises’ which is is really an exaggeration to what extent I have become aware of another’s moves to the point wherein I can identify who gets home without looking out the window.

I realize that all these associations have been created at a mind level wherein I am expecting to be bothered by another’s voices, noises or simple presence due to how I have believed myself to be ‘more free’ when being absolutely alone and within a quiet environment.

When and as I see myself desiring the weekend to come to be alone already, I stop and I breathe – I support myself to realize that no matter who’s at home, I am here and breathing in the physical and who I am does not change according to being alone or with people – I direct myself to find the exact trigger point when this thought as a desire emerge to see where I am in fact separating myself from others as myself and my beingness as breath into an experience related to being alone or not that exists Only in my Mind.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to generate an apparent unpleasant experience within me when being around others, when people are in the house, which is just a consequential outflow of having defined me being alone at home as ‘me being free,’ me being ‘at ease’ – thus I realize that it is not about others in fact but about myself and how I have associated being home alone with a sense of ‘freedom’ in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get excited the moment that I know that the last person has left the house on Saturdays, which means  I can be ‘fully alone,’ which is just a mere association I have created within my mind with regards to ‘how’ I experience myself when being with others around me, instead of actually seeing and realizing that being alone or not must not change a single iota of who I am in every moment of breath.

When and as I see myself getting slightly excited about people leaving the house, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am creating a positive experience out of being alone only to later on create the opposite when they come back, thus I assist and support myself to breathe in and during the moment I hear the door closing and realizing that whether there is people around or not, I am here as breath.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be bothered by noises around me such as lousy music, laughter and/or the sound of glass bottles clashing against each other as this is all related to ‘people in a group’ that I have defined as lousy/noisy and bothering because of what it entails as a disturbance to my ‘perfect order’ as ‘my space’ that I have accepted and allowed myself to be possessed by, without realizing that this is in fact wanting to control others to only behave and be as silent as I want them to be at all times, just so that I don’t have to ‘be bothered’ with noises.

I realize that I have desired silence around as a‘perfect moment’ for myself, avoiding noises without realizing that I am the one that decides whether noise becomes something that ‘bothers me’ or not –

I realize that the laughter, the chatter and sound of bottles indicates a social reunion that I have programmed myself to loathe, simply because of linking it to drunken people that I have disliked due to the ‘disturbance’ they generate in a particular environment.

When and as I see myself reacting in irritation or anxiety when hearing more than the usual voices in the house as chatter, loud laughter, music and the sound of beer bottles clashing against each other, I stop and I breathe. I realize that me reacting to this is playing out the control-freak wherein I believe myself to be ‘the owner of the space’ and as such, not wanting to deal with any disturbance/ any additional ‘guests’ at home, because I have defined noise as disturbance. Thus I assist and support myself to simply focus on breathing and realizing that I cannot avoid people from laughing, talking, drinking or coming here – thus it is all about me supporting myself to stop all reactions and focus on doing whatever I is I am doing.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to tense my body and become slightly anxious when I hear a group of people coming to the house, as I associate it with drinking and lots of people going to the toilet, which has also become part of the annoyance that I have allowed to preoccupy me in the moment, wherein I have justified my right to be ‘pissed off’ because of having more people at home, which is just quite an exaggeration from my side most of the times as the mind possession indicates itself to be.

 

When and as I see myself getting slightly anxious and reacting with tension because of hearing people coming to the house, I stop and I breathe – I direct myself to simply continue doing what I’m doing instead of creating all sorts of backchat and reactions toward others, because my backchat and reactions won’t make them ‘go away,’ thus I only abuse myself within stopping breathing here and allowing this mind possession of ‘loathing visitors’ at home. 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel ‘at peace’ whenever there is no one home wherein I can ‘sing aloud’ without others having to hear me, which means that I have judged and suppressed my expression around others within the idea and belief that I do not have to bother them, just because of how I was taught to always be silent and quiet as a child – which is a justification really – thus believing that everyone must be equally silent and quiet at all times as a ‘norm’ of conviviality, which is just me wanting to impose ‘my own ways’ onto others a.k.a. wanting to control and manipulate another’s expression to suit my ‘standards of conviviality.’

When and as I see myself feeling at peace as a positive experience because of no one being around and being home alone, I stop and I breathe. I realize that this only exists because of me perceiving that I can now ‘be free’ to express myself, instead of seeing how I have imposed this limitation to myself due to the beliefs of me having to always be quiet and ‘not disturb others,’ which is why I have allowed myself to be disturbed by others within the consideration of them being ‘noisy’ – thus I assist and support myself to sing, express myself around others if I want to, without holding myself back as I see and realize that it is only fear of being judged what I am using as an excuse to not do so unconditionally.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to link the word ‘freedom’ to ‘being home alone,’ wherein I would feel at ease and just ‘free’ because of not having my space being ‘disturbed’ by others and also not having people to see what I do, which is all based on me then suppressing myself and hiding myself from others, which implies that I am still supporting a desire for privacy that has gotten ourselves in our world to abuse as one can only extremely so desire to be private about stuff wherein one can be involved in any form of abuse – thus I realize that this sense of freedom is in fact only linked to what I have defined as freedom in self-interest, and in no way does it point out to a reality of actual equality and oneness wherein no secrets exist.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consider and associate parents as authority toward whom I had to ‘keep secrets’ in order to remain with a ‘good person’ character, without realizing to what extent my desire to fulfill a positive experience within me became a pattern of constantly desiring to be alone in order to have a ‘positive experience’ about my reality, that would only last for so long and that this in fact becomes just another desire and preferential point that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as.

When and as I see myself thinking that ‘freedom = being home alone,’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that this stems from my initial desire to be and do something that would not be allowed or witnessed/ known by others, hence doing so when being home alone. Thus I assist and support myself to breathe at all times wherein whether I am alone or not, it does not influence who I am as my beingness in every moment of breath. I allow myself to express myself regardless of the noise that my movements entail, as it is part of moving in the physical world – I do not have to ‘tip toe’ around all the time.

 

I Forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to have ‘my space’ so that I could do things that I knew were ‘secret’ to others and were linked to my idea of ‘freedom’ as in ‘I can do whatever I want,’ which comes as a positive polarity from the usual oppression existent within families and parents, wherein we as children after being told what to do and what not to do, seek for a way to ‘be free’ and this means having ‘no authority,’ which is why the idea of freedom as no observers and no authority consummates in my desire to be alone.

I realize that I have created this excuse to make sense of my single desire to have a positive experience that I have linked to ‘being alone’ – thus I take self responsibility for the patterns I created within me in relation to wanting to be alone at home.

When and as I see myself wanting to ‘have my space’ and being alone at home for an extended period of time I stop and I breathe – I realize that my desire for freedom is mostly linked to personal interests of secrecy and privacy – thus I direct myself to instead act and live in self honesty wherein I do not have to create a ‘separate moment’ for me to be ‘without stress’ when being around and with others.

I see and realize that this is a pattern from childhood wherein I would not want to play with other kids simply because of considering them as ‘too messy’ and clumsy for my ‘perfected ways’ of being, which is ludicrous since that would mean I’d have to live in a museum to not be ‘disturbed,’ and that is certainly not living. I realize that every time I react in annoyance, I am in fact indicating myself that I am up there in my mind possession and not here as life breathing.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get a negative experience out of knowing that people will be back home, which means I will stop being alone and as such linking being ‘with company at home’ to a ‘negative experience’ again, just to keep myself bound to the next moment wherein I will eventually get to be alone again.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create the backchat ‘If I could just be all alone all the time,’ which is actually a belief that I hold in order to create positive and negative experiences in relation to being with people or being alone, wherein I am not in fact considering the practicality of living  alone, for example, which would not be as beneficial in a world where sharing expenses makes like a lot easier – thus I realize that if I would follow my mind’s desires to be alone, I would have been in fact in an island because in this world we cannot possibly function being ‘alone,’ as no one is ever really ‘all alone.’ We walk our process individually, alone, yes – but the interactions and relationships that enable life are physically and intricately related a group, an organism –thus I stop my delirium of ‘wanting to be alone’ which is just a tantrum-throwing backchat in order to always be either waiting to be alone or creating a negative experience when being with more people at home.

When and as I see myself thinking that ‘I want to be alone at all times’ and having a negative experience because of seeing that other beings are coming back, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am the one that must deliberately remain here as breath so that being alone or with people does not define who I am, and instead I assist and support myself to remain here as the physical, as breath at all times.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to end up believing that ‘my perfect peace will be destroyed’ when others arrive, which is just a way to create a negative and positive experience within me when being alone or not

When and as I see myself thinking that ‘my perfect peace will be destroyed’ when seeing more people getting home, I stop and I breathe – I realize that ‘freedom’ as experienced when being alone is just a perception and as such, I direct myself to simply remain here constant and consistent as breath, wherein who I am is not defined by having people around me or not.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize how I eventually end up missing people after some time, wherein after a long time of being all alone, I start to ponder about wanting to have people around for short periods of time, which is just me trying to manipulate my entire world to ‘suit my needs’ according to how I want it, which is how I always sought to be conditional in my approach to people as I never learned how to really stand with others unconditionally, but only agree to communicate and open up according to whether I liked or disliked them, which is the entire point of who I am within evading communication, as part of ‘the loner’ characteristics of only talking to and communicating with people that would reinforce my characters, instead of having actually allowed myself to get to know people and interact with them based on common sense.

I see and realize that such desire to ‘be alone’ and ‘not be around others’ is just a mind fix that I have created within me in order to actually defend the ‘who I am’ as my mind as the loner character that in no way assists and supports myself to LIVE, but only keeping me busy within my own ideals that I have seen and realized never meet reality as it is only in the fantasies and future projections as ideals of ‘being alone’ that I create a positive experience that I ‘look forward to’ experience, yet when it comes to actually being alone, I realize that I do not in fact want to be ‘all alone all the time,’ and that this has only become a way for me to believe that the thoughts of wanting to be alone is ‘who I am.’ Thus –

When and as I see myself wanting to ‘be alone’ as a thought of quietness and stillness that emerge within my mind, I see and realize that this is a mind fix that I have used in order to activate ‘the loner’ character and create the inner conflict that I see and realize is absolutely unnecessary as I am here as breath and I am not determined by being with people or not.

 

Thus I assist and support myself to stop and breathe every time that I see myself ‘wondering’ about being alone and how much ‘fun’ I can have when being all alone, as I see and realize that most of the times I even end up doing nothing different to the rest of the time that I am with people. Thus I stop this useless character within myself as I have realized the inner-play outs that I have created in order to keep an ideal ‘loneliness’ at home with no foundation whatsoever upon practical and physical reality of oneness and equality, and instead existing as the opposite of separation and further backchat wherein I absolutely forget that I am here as breath.

 

Support yourself with mind possessions at Demonology 

Visit the Desteni website

and the Desteni Forum to support yourself in walking a process of Self-Forgiveness to finally see and realize how this world is a reflection of the separation we have participated in within our very own habits, treats and patterns in the mind. Our behavior is the point of change that will reveal who we are in every moment: divided within voices in the head or breathing here as one and equal.

Support the Equal Money System wherein support will be provided for every human being to walk the process of taking responsibility for the separation we have created within our world based on what we have accepted and allowed ourselves to become in our mind.

 

This is for the children of the world.

Ode to our Children

 

 

Blogs:

How Thoughts Activate Personalities – Part 1 (Self-Forgiveness): DAY 123

Day 123: TRUE ACTIVIST UNIVERSAL GRACE

Life After God

“Is feeling nothing the inevitable result of believing in nothing? And then I got to feeling frightened – thinking that there might not actually be anything to believe in, in particular. I thought it would be such a sick joke to have to remain alive for decades and not believe in or feel anything.” – Douglas Coupland

This is a quote from the book ‘Life after God’ which I deemed to be one of my favorite books. After a while, I simply made the title my favorite part of it as this process has been in fact the realization of myself getting rid of any form of belief in a ‘god/ superior being’ and the religion I had created as myself and my own mind filled with limitations, fears and a certain angst toward reality, seeking a way to ‘save myself’ from what I deemed some type of ‘Earthly punishment.’

I was looking at some of my old blog entries which are a great way to look at myself 4 years ago and I can see how I was existing in an entire personality set that would seep through the entirety of the texts I wrote, fascinating how we can really pour out our entire personality through words.

Part of this process of getting to know ‘who I really am’ and what my actual expression is has been walked not only through words, but creating images/ drawings. I remembered how even if I had believed myself to be ‘alright’ in my world, images of the world Not being ‘alright’ were coming through in the form of drawings/ paintings, which lead me to actually see that how I experienced myself had to do with how I saw the world existed.

Let me explain it better. I’ve grown up in a supportive family, having all that I require to live and having access to education and even ‘follow my dreams’ to a certain extent – yet there was like an ‘existential anguish’ that hovered around me all the time, which is how I embodied a rather depressive personality even if I could smile and pretend that everything is fine and ‘have fun.’ Who I was and how I actually experienced myself would come out whenever I could experience myself being alone, that’s when the world would ‘fall on me’ and I would just see myself as incapable of doing something, not knowing exactly ‘what I could do to change the world,’ what I could do to give my life some meaning and direction, something that actually Mattered.

I was simply wanting to create a world that was in fact best for all – yet not naming it like that or even realizing this was actually the point – and in that, creating myself as a human being that could be ‘free’ from this system. The bounds and limitations I experienced were mostly related to me seeking something/ someone to come and save me – to ‘fulfill me,’ to give a meaning to my life. This book became a declaration of that, I could relate to what Doug Coupland was saying: feeling awkward for not feeling, losing any faith in a god yet desperately ‘needing’ something/ someone at the same time.  I also sought to be ‘happy’ at some point, because that’s what everyone wanted and desired and in my attempts to ‘fit in’ this world, I once sought to be fulfilled as well, never seeing that I was in fact only following what we’ve created as our personal agendas of self-service wherein we add the usual money, love, great health, great looks and being ‘free’ from whatever we perceived as an oppression. I also wanted that, and I also thought that because I had lost all ‘faith’ in myself I had to now deposit ‘faith’ into some greater outcome that I could hold on to, to keep walking, to give a meaning to life because nothing made any sense.

“My secret is that I need God – that I am sick and can no longer make it alone. I need God to help me give, because I no longer seem to be capable of giving; to help me be kind, as I no longer seem capable of kindness; to help me love, as I seem to be beyond being able to love.”

I read this book in November, 2005 and this is the previous to last page of it. These particular words planted the ‘seed’ to ‘search for god’ in a more directive way. In the back of my head I knew that I was not ‘believing in god’ as the usual stereotype of a man sitting on heaven looking down at us. I sought for something ‘beyond myself’ and in that, my spiritual quest became a reality during 2006 and 2007, two intense years of my life wherein it is almost as if entire lifetimes of spiritual quests were just shrunk and condensed to be experienced in what I can only recall as one hell of a ride.

I resonated with such words because I also didn’t want to accept myself as ‘giving up’ on myself completely, I gave myself a last chance within seeking a religion, a God or anything that could give meaning to my life.  I was in quite a state of desperation and feeling like the ultimate victim, the misunderstood and sensitive woman on Earth that needs something/ someone to come and save her from her misery. I ‘knew’ that I had ‘so much to give’ but I couldn’t find it in myself to simply live it as myself – in fact all that I had missed within this entire personality was: Myself.

Seeking for God is no different to seeking for: ourselves. We really are the ones we have been waiting for. 

Within this process I realized how all the good intentions pave the road to hell, I had an ‘open heart’ to become a light worker or some other type of spiritual guru to support people, because I thought that only through fixing and saving others’ lives I could save mine. I always missed myself in the equation, missed myself as the starting point of it all.

When I realized I had to take my own life by the hand, I realized how much I had neglected myself: my physical body, the very breath that keeps me alive, the world that I live in which is providing me for what I eat. We get to be so consumed in our thoughts that we forget about the entire physical realm that is giving us the necessary to exist here – yet we use it only as fuel to charge up ourselves and continue only existing ‘up there’ in the mind, seeking for love, seeking for happiness, success, fulfillment, the perfect relationship, the perfect job, the perfect house, the perfect reality wherein you just do the same every single day and wait to die to ‘ascend to heaven’  and apparently only ‘then’ be able to actually Live.

I was wrong and I can say that we’ve all been wrong within existing in this world in such a limited frame of mind of what ‘life’ is,  only thinking that this world cannot be changed because we hadn’t even realized what had to be changed and corrected. 

How can we give up on ourselves if we haven’t even ever lived?

How can we require a non-existent and invisible ‘god’ to help us do something while realizing that anything that we do or don’t do is only able to be walked and lived by ourselves, individually – yet as equals.

Walking out of a victimization state, walking out of self-pity, of an entire personality of being seemingly powerless, inferior, not able to do something to ‘change this world’ which I always saw as something ‘out there’ instead of beginning Here as myself.

The point of realizing I had been missing myself suffused as I walked a process of writing myself out, seeing how in between all the flair and personality I had become, I could spot some common sense that seemed like ‘the real me’ –  I started then digging more and more into those glimpses of common sense and realizing how I had to stop playing out the character that had become the epitome of hopelessness, of ‘waiting’ for something/ someone, of being just playing out the victim of society and spiting it back with self-abusive behaviors. That’s how some call our generation the ‘Lost Generation’ – yet we can only be lost if we had ever ‘found’ ourselves and we never did, because we always looked outside of ourselves. It was just a nice tag to remain in oblivion of what was actually/ really going on in this world, actual suffering that I avoided to look at during my ‘spiritual awakening’ because of believing that ‘focusing on the negative will create negativity in my life.’ Oh yes, how deluded was I.

I’ve forgiven myself for having deposited myself – yes almost in an accounting way – to the idea of a god or some extraordinary superior energy that I could attain and become eternally blissful with. We’ve all become lightworkers when seeking only to fulfill our own lives while neglecting the rest of the world, that’s a fact. If spirituality promotes individualism, capitalism could also be called light-system wherein we all sought it and depended of it to live.

As I write, it is still awkward we are living in a world where such fictional value still exist, seems like we are truly only playing re-runs of a reality that has already failed a long, long time ago. We’ve only continued living out this same reality out of being absolutely blind to see that we don’t require any god to Live, we don’t require any ‘all mighty dude’ to come and give us some guidelines on what needs to be done. We have a principle to live by and it is Equality as life, we have a set of tools to finally become our own self-responsible creators: self forgiveness, self honesty and an ever lasting consideration of what’s best for all as the starting point of anything we do and direct ourselves within our lives.

I have seen how ‘Life after God’ means just that: us human beings finally getting rid of such a dominant belief system to being to learn how to live. God isn’t only this ‘character’ we keep in the back of our heads as ‘something/ someone more powerful than us;’ God has also become our own ruling personality that decides for us, that seeks to remain in an eternal state of self righteousness because that is apparently ‘who we are.’

Equality can be anything, including God, but we can see that there is no point in naming it God if we are all one and equal – we could call ourselves god or saviors or anything else and remain the same meaning: self responsibility remains HERE as our duty, as a must do point to get to finally see what Living is all about.

At the moment we have only realized that this world is in our hands and that everything that we once sought for in a god/ religion/ philosophy/ spirituality is able to be given by ourselves as a self-willed living decision to stand up for Life in Equality, as a process of Self Forgiveness.

I now realize that every time that I saw no way out and wanting to ‘stop existing’ was only stemming from a desire to actually live. The bottom line is that whenever I saw myself yearning for a ‘way out’ it was actually wanting to get HERE, to be Real at last. It never made any sense to me that this is all there is to this world. And it is a fact, it is not all we can be.

We’ve been living in a system of limitation, separation, seclusion, fear, judgments and the list goes on. What happens after such restrictions? What is there to live once we free ourselves from our own personalities, once we shed the old skin manifested as this entire world system based in abuse, harm, hatred and disregard of each other? What comes after ‘God’ in our lives?

Ourselves, what’s here, reality to be explored, to Live.

How can we give up on ourselves if we have never been real? How can we feel lost if we never really ‘found’ ourselves? How could humanity ever trust in a god that never showed its face here? Ludicrous, yet we are here to stop existing in such limitation, we are here to support ourselves to shed the dry skin of the past and walk as the reality that we see is common sense to live in this world. It will take time, yes, but there is nothing else to be done here. Everything we could ever require to do so is already here, we just have to learn how to cooperate, work together, step out of our egos and limited frames of mind and give it all to make our lives real.

I speak this for myself as I saw how being in a pointlessness and rather obfuscated mind-view of this world lead me nowhere but to further thoughts and experiences of being lost and confused and helpless, never seeing that I had to become the point of my existence, that I had to do what it takes to get to actually Live. There is nothing else to be/ become or do here, we now stand as the law of our being, we become instruments to manifest what is already here in Equality.

Give yourself a chance, that’s what Desteni is about: giving ourselves this one opportunity, a second ‘go’ in this world to finally live. When I realized this point, I felt immensely grateful – no exaggeration -because I realized how I had wanted to die only because of being tormented by my own thoughts, by my own fears, by my own limited view of ‘who I am’ as this being that wasn’t certainly ‘comfortable’ in her own skin before, I am getting there as every day that I untie a knot that keeps me bound to the past that I was. I saw how it wasn’t a ‘god’ giving me a second chance, it was actually me having placed myself in this process, in this position wherein I am willing myself to live – this is what’s so important about this process: we do it to ourselves, we live it ourselves, we stand as individuals yet altogether as one single agreement: to live what’s best for all, to be and become the change that we’ve never ever seen in this reality.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to miss myself in the entire equation that I am as Life

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to want to end my ‘life’ without having ever actually lived

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ever be so tormented by my own thoughts, by my own fears, by my own feelings and emotions without ever realizing I was doing it all myself, that I could stop being a victim by stopping myself from victimizing myself, that I could stop myself from generating experiences in an attempt to ‘live’

Certainly, the point that I’ve learned this life is how to Forgive Myself. Once we grasp the meaning of this, we open the door to an actual ability to live, we untie the knots that we’ve created, just because of not knowing what could possibly ‘be’ if we let go of our mind. That’s life after God, life after our own religion of self as the mind, Life after the limited frame of view we’ve had of this world until now.

We are ready, we are walking here to actually live – we don’t really require anything or anyone else – all is set and ready for us to take the wheel and drive the road to Here, as Equals.

Quotes taken from:

Coupland, Douglas. Life After God. 1st ed. New York: Pocket books, 1995. Print.

Watch Anna talking about a song by Robot Virgins that certainly came through as I was writing this blog, you’ll find the link to the song and the album in Anna’s video. Please listen as this is definitely a cool  add on to this entry

2012 – Music that Changed My Life: Robot Virgins “Your Truth”

http://www.desteni.org

http://www.eqafe.com – Life Supports Life

Hey Nostradamus! – Personality suit exposed

“Look at us. We’re all born lost, aren’t we? We’re all born separated from God – over and over life makes sure to inform us of this – and yet we’re all real: we  have names, we have lives. We mean something. We must. My heart is so cold. And I feel so lost. I shed my block of hate but what if nothing emerges to fill in the hole it left? The universe is so large, and the world is so glorious, but here I am on a sunny August morning with chilled black ink pumping through my veins, and I feel like the unholiest thing on earth.” – Douglas Coupland

This is an excerpt from Hey Nostradamus! a book by Douglas Coupland that I read some 6 years ago  while being on a ‘spiritual journey’ a mind one, not an actual trip.  I had read other books by him as well, including ‘Life after God’ of which I will probably write about some other time.

In this book he depicts an entire process of ‘struggling’ with the idea of there being some type of ‘god’ while walking a continual paradox as this reality that would indicate that there is non. However, this particular quote depicts the type of writings I would solace myself with, some type of misery that  would enhance my world view, add the necessary ‘energy kick’ to keep my personality suit that I’ve described before in the Death and Destruction entry.

These type of writings is what I filled myself up while being on my late teenage years which was ‘cool’ at the time and in accordance to my questions and general desire to ‘know’ some type of ‘truth,’ to have or gain some sort of feedback as a ‘certainty,’ a kind of knowledge and information that could give ‘meaning’ to my life. Just as Douglas explains there, I was seeking for some sort of proof that this wasn’t only a cosmic joke and that our lives would have to inevitably ‘mean’ something.

Part of walking this process is debunking the lie that we’ve lived with this entire ‘yearning for God’ experience which is actually preprogrammed as an inherent belief to never see and realize that: we’ve always been here, that we are ALL that exist and that any form of philosophical trip looking for ‘meaning’ and ‘truths’ is in separation of the most obvious facts that are here, equally visible and tangible for all: we are the ones that have set the rules of how it all functions – we are the ones that have perpetuated the disagreements that are currently leading this world to a point of self-destruction based on the inherent disregard that we’ve had toward one another, yet keeping ourselves busy seeking some form of ‘inner-peace’ and ‘enlightenment’ while depleting the world and abusing all that is here in the meantime.

Our relationship toward an elusive idea of ‘God’ became another way of ‘coping with reality’ as if the idea of some superior and powerful ‘god’ could give us some ‘extra-strength’ to face ourselves. He places it quite nicely in the following quote: ‎”I think God is how you deal with everything that’s out of your own control”. I was once a God believer and as much as I have left this part of the process ‘behind,’ it’s cool to bring it up as a point of support for anyone reading this and still going through a process of disenchantment toward the belief in something ‘superior’ or ‘divine’ as an actual entity called ‘God.’ I clearly once believed out of tradition, out of passed-on belief, out of fear of literally having to realize there is nothing or no one ‘superior here’ – yet never getting to realize who I really am as one and equal as all that exists – who would want some type of ‘god’ within that equation?

The quote I placed here describes a general ‘mindset’ that I could tag with many names like melancholy, self-pity, misery, loneliness, gloom,  sadness, depressive, shoegazer,  doomy and mostly a general sense of ‘despair’ toward the world. Lol it’s cool to debunk this because this ‘attitude’ and general energetic experience became ‘my life’ and ‘who I was’ for such a long time. Seeing life through this smokescreen where everything seemed so elusive, so vague, so ‘magnificent’ yet seeing myself as something really ‘petty’ for this world, sometimes ‘not belonging’ and some others just believing that I had been born in the ‘wrong planet.’

Here I am, six years after I read this book and having walked for some years a process of understanding my personality and how I created myself, I can see how it is within this gloomy self idea of myself and the world that I kept myself just ‘busy’ with my own mind, seeking to create more experiences out of books like these, out of my own relationships with people that could fully support this type of ‘tragic’ perspective on reality, just sitting at caffés pondering about life, chain-drinking-smoking-coffee and doing nothing else but that. 

Now I realize how all of that is an absolute ‘waste of time’ in terms of remaining only as a certain experience that becomes ‘who we are’ while limiting ourselves and our ability to actually step out of such mind-frame, which is essentially the process we’re walking here.

First of all to stop all hope and yearning/ wondering about ‘life’ and instead realizing how we can practically start actually LIVING in this world by investigating/ writing/ looking at how other beings are living, how is the system that I live in functions, how are we keeping this system running, why have I accepted and allowed myself to be consumed by my own self-created experiences instead of looking at the reality that is here, that is myself, a reality that I am a part of and that I’m disregarding while keeping myself ‘busy’ up in my mind, continuing my gloomy view toward this world as if that was the only ‘thing’ I could ‘do’ – helplessness, a general sense of ‘I’m a victim of this world’ is what I was oozing all the time. I’m glad those times are over – though the process of disengaging from the actual self-created personality is still being walked as this is HOW I have created myself – resonating with everything that could support my inability to stand up and take self responsibility – why? Because being a victim is much easier than taking the necessary steps to ‘step up’ and become the change that I was only judging and criticizing/ complaining about in this world.

We’re not LOST, we can only LOSE ourselves up there in the self-created mazes of our mind – we are here, we are breathing, we walk, we eat, we shit, we interact and all in all I keep ‘finding myself here’ therefore, such ‘lostness’ was certainly another excuse to be aloof and idle and a general ‘drama queen’ to not face my reality and instead, indulge into addictions that could support my eternal ‘yearning’ for something/ someone to change the world.

Such feeling and experience as feeling like an outcast, a sense of being kicked out of paradise, looking for ‘god’ all the time is only the belief of such separation from ‘god/ source’ which has gotten us to neglect the life that we are and have been all the time, Here  – get the interviews on the Atlanteans to understand how and why this point happened. It’s all been an actual disregard of ourselves – us missing ourselves as ‘the point’ of our existence. We only can redeem ourselves to be actually able to stand here in Self Honesty as one and equal to this world by walking a process of Self For.giveness: I give myself back to myself to realize that the only thing I’ve missed is ‘myself’ as life  – hence I walk a process to learn how to LIVE in equality as everything/ everyone that is equally here.

Through this process of Self Honesty, I’ve learned how to trust myself, to not only seek to ‘stand in the back’ within this form of ‘inferiority’ and ‘pettiness’ as part of a self experience, wanting others do everything for me, to have someone ‘stepping up’ and keeping myself in a comfortable zone wherein I cannot make any mistakes or get ‘harmed’ by others – which was quite the ultimate defense mechanism within me to not face myself. My personality was then able to ‘fit’ into the world as a ‘sensitive person’ that could then be justified for being ‘down’ and then seeking something/ someone outside of myself to ‘get up’ and then down again in a never ending rollercoaster of energetic thrills. I remember how a friend of mine would say how he’d get to ‘enjoy’ being immersed in absolute self-misery and depression – I couldn’t fathom that and I judged him in that moment without realizing I was doing exactly the same thing within myself.

So – topics on alienation, loneliness, black comedy, drama, spirituality, angst, sorrow, acceptance, tragedy, the absurd and complex have been part of the ‘key words’ that I’d sought for and that I just took from the back cover of this book – lol.

What’s great about this is that once that the ‘pattern’ and personality is in my face, I cannot fool myself in pretending that I have not ‘become’ this by mere act of empathy. It’s called personality designs and I’m here to stop it, because it’s only a bloody program, because I see how even if in my mind there is still this desire to ‘keep it in place,’ it’s the ultimate statement of separation from the physical reality that is just HERE: no experience attached!

Have a look at a skinny, leafless tree with several branches twisted up high in a forest-like scenario at dusk – that I would immediately associate with this entire self-experience which indicates to what level I have brainwashed myself to add an entire experience to the sole expression of a single tree in a certain environment. Fascinating.

I am here to stop that, to see reality for what it is, to see and realize how I do not require to add any extra-toppings to reality with emotions and feelings that I had deemed as ‘indications’ of ‘being alive’ – that was probably one of the most impressive revelations in my life, whereas I had deem that the more I ‘felt’ = the more alive I was. What a lie – but we are fortunately well prepared now to face these buckets of cold water and support ourselves to actually LIVE.

So, no more gloomy self experiences for me – all of this is coming out quite nicely so I suggest that you, reader of this blog, take on this exercise for yourself:  have a look at the points that you’ve identified yourself with in your reality and see how they have defined ‘who you are’ in one way or another. To me this is kind of ‘bringing up the past’ but unless I stop myself from participating in all types of emotions and feelings, I will continue existing as that past – hence it is cool to lay it out for oneself to see what I have accepted and allowed myself to identify ourselves with as the preprogrammed personality design and stop participating in it here, for once and for all.

Now, this is not in any way a ‘bashing’ toward Coupland, he’s written out cool books that I see were ‘bridges’ for me to walk upon to then get to the actual swallowing point of realizing: there is no God, there is no such thing as ‘ultimate truth’ – you are it, you are here, you take responsibility and create a world that’s best for all – simplicity at its finest – but here I leave some cool quotes by Mr. Coupland.

Enjoy and thanks for reading

‎”I wondered why it is that going to heaven is the only goal of religion, because it’s such a selfish thing”

‎”To acknowledge God is to fully accept the sorrow of the human condition”

“A world of continuous miracles would be a cartoon, not a world”

‎”I think God is how you deal with everything that’s out of your own control”

‎”Dear God,
I’m going to stop believing in you unless you can tell me what possible good could have come from the bloodshed. I can’t see any meaning or evidence of divine logic”

 

Assist and support yourself to walk out of the personality suits we’ve become as part of this game or roles we’ve played in this world – let’s walk a process of actual LIVING and not only feeling and believing in something/someone that we are Not.

desteni.org

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Coupland, Douglas. Hey Nostradamus!. 1st ed. New York: Bloomsbury , 2003. 146. Print.