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Day 17: Dedicated

1    devoted to a task or purpose.
2    exclusively allocated or intended for a particular purpose

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create a personality as being ‘dedicated’ within my reality as an energetic experience that must be ‘kept up’ in order to keep me satisfied within my application in relationships and activities, wherein actions, movements and self-direction is still coming from this idea of myself as being ‘dedicated’ and ‘devoted’ to that which I participate within, wherein I realize that everything that I do must be self-movement where no energy is required to impulse and motivate myself to continue my application within the personality construct as ‘being dedicated.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a particular neutral experience yet tainted with positivity as a dedicated person wherein I have defined myself as ‘being dedicated’ and in that, limiting myself within a frame of mind that I perceive is good/ beneficial yet, it’s not being lived unconditionally in all aspects of myself as an equal and one participation, but only dedicating myself to that which I have a particular preference for, which is then separation and requires proper attention in relation to how I am establishing relationships in equality toward everyone and everything that I participate in and interact with on a daily basis.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get a ‘nice feeling’ as satisfaction/ positive experience when perceiving myself to be ‘dedicated’ which is indicating me that I am not yet an absolute unconditional expression here as every moment, but still  moving myself from this particular personality-suit that I have become and lived as ‘who I am’ and never questioned it because of perceiving it as something ‘good’ to live by,without investigating the direct relationship that this holds to an entire personality suit that was brewed in separation throughout my life and school years, which implies that: it is stemming from an application in the past, it’s not yet fully here as self movement.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to give continuation to experiences and patterns that I have regarded as ‘beneficial’ such as dedication, which is usually rewarded with escalating positions in the system and earning more money according to how obedient/ efficient a person is, which I see and realize is the only fuel that has kept this entire system of hierarchy functioning, by creating false personal convictions as positive attributes as a motivation to move in separation of self, because of always having ‘the ultimate reward’ as a background application that is implied within this ‘dedication’ that we live by in this world – this is because of everything being linked to and stemming from the existence of our lives being hooked to a monetary system, which inevitably implies that all our living-aspects are tainted with the inequality that the money system represents.

 

This implies that the way to correct dedication and equalize it as an expression that is unconditional as myself, requires me to establish myself as the starting point of everything I do – me supporting me within the realization that there is nothing to ‘attain’ or ‘earn’ or ‘win’ here, other than supporting myself to establish that self-stability and ability to move unconditionally, which is linked to being willing myself to move, act, direct without having a motivation to do so, without having to ‘overcome’ another application such as laziness – but moving by principle: I express, I direct myself here as breath – moment by moment.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see dedication as a separate application of myself wherein I imprint a particular ‘positive’ experience toward getting things done/ tasks/ projects/ activities in various ways, wherein there is still a sense of ego enhancement about it which must be equalized and simply accept dedication as an expression of myself, integrate it as what I can be the moment that such dedication is a moment to moment, breath by breath application that is not separate from anything else that I do in any given moment, nor is it determined by ‘who I was’ in the past – it is not only devoted to a particular set of activities in my world, but is an ability that I accept as who I am and what I can be and express as myself as being dedicated to myself first and foremost and to life, to support myself and others in an equal manner as that is what I have decided to dedicate myself/ my life for.

 

I commit myself to see dedication as a living application wherein everything that I do is within the starting point of supporting myself, slowing down and actually placing attention to the details and specificity required – that I have to work with – without generating a ‘feel good’ experience about it in my mind, but simply as a living constancy and consistency as the directive principle that I am establishing within myself.

 

This is thus to stop any dimensional shifting the moment that energy is accessed when getting into an ‘experience’ of being dedicated, and then having to ‘keep up’ that experience – instead of living dedication in every moment that I am here breathing, and being aware of my physical body, wherein the actual dedication is not shifted to ‘accomplishing tasks’ but to live, to dedicate myself to remain here, aware of my breathing as I see and realize that breathing is the key to stop any dimensional shifting in my mind and accessing ideas, beliefs and perceptions according to the ‘score’ that is kept throughout time as the past within the experience of ‘being dedicated’ as a ‘positive attribute’ within myself as a personality.

 

I realize that I am able to ground and physically integrate such dedication as life, here as breath – that is the actual challenge here as that will allow me to dedicate to myself stepping out of the mind and into the physical where no inkling of energetic experience is implied within moving myself. Self willed self movement is the expression of who I really am as life, which implies no positive, negative or neutral experience can be created if I remain constant and consistent moving here as breath.

That is the practical direction here: dedicating myself to breathe and stop any mind-projections as pats on my back for feeling myself as being ‘dedicated.’

All positive egotistical aspects must be debunked in order to ensure that ‘who I am’ as the ego of the mind, as the energized personality I’ve lived by throughout my life, is effectively returning back to the ground wherein I make sure that I do not participate in any positive or negative experiences and start investigating what I have accepted as a ‘default’ experience within me, which is neutrality as the point wherein I do not question ‘who I am’ in this moment, which I see is quite pertinent to start investigating.

I remain here as the physical, and stop accessing further props and ego-enhancers within this living process. No energy required to keep myself dedicated to life.

 

Further Support:

Reptilians – Where is Life – Part 28

Learning more about walking this Process with absolute self-awareness and how to simplify our application to make it a breath by breath living application and not a constant inner-struggle toward ourselves as our own mind.

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2012 Instant Gratification

This is part of the stuff that we share and walk at the Desteni forum, which is how we support each other to open up points that we can cross-reference in relation to ‘how we function as individuals’ within this reality, within a system that we have created as a reward-system wherein we sometimes get to experience ourselves within a ‘game’ of sorts wherein you must struggle in order to merely survive and ‘thrive’ within it, which is the entire pursuit of happiness mechanism that we are induced to by our parents, teachers, school systems, media, friends, society in general as a reflection of how we have equated ‘living’ to ‘experiences’ – commonly associated with ‘buying an experience’ and being instantly satisfied with it, only to seek for more after a while. That’s feeding only the mind’s cravings there.

 

So the following belongs to Cam Mantia in his writings within the forum.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire a quick fix to bringing about a change in myself to stand as equality and oneness – I realize that the mind moves quickly and jumps from time to time and does not remain here; I have gotten so used to the immediate gratification of the mind that I had forgotten that this reality is currently time based and requires time to play and out and to be lived here in breath.

 

That point of Self Forgiveness opened up the ‘instant gratification points here’ where we have equated this process to something that will be giving us some ‘bliss’ or ‘glory’ as having and experiencing an instant change or have a drive-thru fulfilling experience of stopping a particular pattern or habit. Within this consumerist society, we have forgotten that doing things actually takes space, time and effort to get something done. We’ve become so used to only handing out money in order to get what’s available in the store – and in that, we definitely alienate ourselves from the production process that is behind that ‘finished product.’

 

 

So the mind moving quickly and wanting to get things done asap, is a definitive pattern I have walked and I am currently working with as well, though I had not linked it to a sense of gratification or ‘props’ for my ego until  I started writing about it within a mind construct wherein I have linked ‘effectiveness’ to rushing, wanting to get things done in an almost anxious manner wherein I have not allowed myself to step down a notch from my usual ‘drive’ – which is energetic in nature – instead of walking point by point in the physical, here, at the physical breath pace.

 

The interesting thing is that I tend to judge capitalism and its production mechanisms wherein the fastest something is produced = the better, the quicker, the more satisfying and ‘ultimately fulfilling’ something is, as that is translated to profit and ‘power’ for whoever holds it in such case. At a personal mind-level, I work the same way, wherein being and perceiving myself as ‘fast and accurate’ is translated to feeling instantly and ‘inadvertently’ gratified with having accomplished something.

I recognize that I have deliberately applied myself in stopping any feeling as a the fluffy ego-props this point of ‘efficiency’ can be equated to –  as it is within the application of humbleness wherein anything we do/ say/ accomplish is not taken as a trophy, but seen and realized for the practicality of it.  I had a history of reacting when getting public recognition as in getting embarrassed about it – later on realizing that I was playing in fact the opposite role as well within seeking recognition, which I have written about in the past and how it was the first aspect that Bernard pointed out to me the day I got to the farm, lol that was cool. Since then, I have realized that I can acknowledge these points that I have walked-through and applied, recognize them for what they are and stopping ‘adding on’ to the personal record. This is then living each moment with its realization and moving on – clear- no keeping track of the personal record.

 

How did I get to that realization? Well, we don’ require to keep a record of ourselves as that would be in essence having to ‘load’ an entire lifetime-achievement and keeping it as ‘who we are’ in every moment – which is how the ego is formed – instead of realizing that if there is an actual self-realization, we integrate it as ourselves in the moment, without having to boast about it or make ourselves feel ‘better’ or ‘bad’ for having done or realized something – thus we understand that through self-forgiveness we give ourselves back to ourselves wherein no ‘more or less than’ exist, wherein we equalize ourselves to the points that we walk as our very own living application, which is seeing and realizing that we cannot possibly get somewhere/ become more or ‘achieve’ something in separation of ourselves – there is nothing to ‘earn’ or ‘lose’ – only points to realize and align within the principle of what is best for all.

 

That’s how I realized I was ‘keeping a record/ score’ of lifetime achievements and ‘loading that up’ as the idea of myself – once we stop defining ourselves according to ‘what we have done/ who we were/ how we have lived’ as the past, we give ourselves a blank slate to remain with the basic and supportive points that we have integrated as part of us integrating self-direction as a living-decision.

I also  discovered this when writing out a mind construct – I share some self corrective statements that contain the exposed above:

 

When and as I see myself rushing within my world in an idea of rushing = ‘being efficient’ I stop, I breathe. I realize that this is a copied-pattern within the belief that through rushing I will feel ‘good’ about having done something in the fastest and most accurate way when in reality, I am only ‘playing a game’ against time, against others wherein I perceive ‘the rest’ as ‘slow’ and ‘inefficient.’ I stop following this self-belief of having to rush through everything I do as a point of self-definition that makes me feel ‘good’ about myself/ feel ‘more than’ which are experiences created as a positive thinking within my personal record of lifetime achievements. Lol

 

When and as I see myself doing things from the starting point of ‘rushing’ and ‘getting it done as fast as possible’ – I stop and I breathe. I realize that doing things the fastest way is not an actual way of living here as breath at the physical pace, but existing as a constant energetic rush at a mind level. Thus, I direct myself to do things at the pace that it is required wherein I am aware of my movements being self-directive and not out of ‘rushing’ – the same with my breathing-pace wherein there is nothing to ‘compete’ or ‘achieve’ within buying groceries, but simply getting what’s required and that’s it.


Just in case you were wondering about the ‘buying groceries’ point, that’s part of a mind construct on going to the supermarket experience and getting  ‘as fast as I can’ in and out of it in order to achieve the ultimate task of buying groceries in the most ‘fast and accurate way’ lol! There’s a LOT more than what meets the eye when walking a single event through writing in such specific ways as we do within doing mind constructs, it’s fascinating. And this point is definitely related to some of this instant gratification point which becomes our current ‘living in the fast lane’ type of lifestyles, wherein some people have dared to say ‘we barely have time to think’ – but I would say that it is the other way around, we think too much, we consume too much, we rush too much within the almost embedded idea that ‘time is money.’ And just to give another perspective on the self corrective statements, the ‘acquired pattern’ is in relation to taking my father as a reference from whom I have copied this pattern/ habit, which makes it fascinating to see how we acquire all our ‘personal quirks’ from seemingly mundane events like ‘going to the supermarket with my father’ – fascinating stuff that you get to walk through the Desteni I Process.

 

I’ll leave it up to here for now, there’s many cool points that open up when looking at ‘instant gratification’ as the mind’s tendency to seek for quick fixes to fulfill the very programming that we have created for ourselves, to keep ourselves busy ‘up there’ while perceiving that breathing and being here is ‘wasting time’ or that we should be ‘doing something’ – it’s time to walk a process of balancing our day wherein we give ourselves time for ourselves, to write, to reflect on who we are every day, what we participate in and also remaining effective and directive within any physical work/ task that we require to give direction to as part of our daily reality.

 

There’s an entire aspect of the instant gratification based on our consumerist society, wherein we have all become addicts seeking the next fix – and we have to be quite aware that within this process there is certainly nothing to ‘earn’ or ‘accomplish’ that can make us ‘more’ in any way whatsoever. It is essentially only adjusting ourselves to the reality and living-principle that we should have always existed as, and it is only now that we are able to walk ourselves through our writings and Self-Forgiveness in Self Honesty in order to demystify our eternal ego-competition toward ourselves and everyone else that has a mind in this world – within this, we hold the actual power to stop an entire system of profit that is based on satisfying these very ideas of getting experiences as props for our personal score/ ego, as a lifetime achievement of experiences that we can then hold on as ‘who we are.’ We are the creators = we are able to correct chasing after experiences and ‘points’ to add to our board, and within that, stopping the cog wheels that are keeping the current system alive.

 

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If 'Survival of the Fittest' is true, is is the Marketer who is King - Selling the belief that the Freedom to pursue Self-Interest is not Enslavement to Consumerism

This time I feature Jeanne’s creation because it suits our current ‘living mentality’– lol – and the instant gratification point as the fuel that keeps this current system of zombies that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to become. The quote says it all

 

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