Tag Archives: loss

145. Possessed by my Possessions

Continuing from 144. Obsessive and Possessive Patterns: My belongings 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to picture ‘my suitcase’ filled with al ‘my belongings’ getting lost and going into fear, wherein the most prominent thought is ‘I will have to buy everything again’ which is that one point defines an actual fact of ‘losing something’ according to losing money through losing the stuff that I’ve bought with money.

When and as I see myself fearing losing money as ‘losing my belongings,’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that yes I may have to get things again if something gets lost and is indispensable to live, however it is not create an entire point of possession when losing something. I can instead realize how it doesn’t matter if I ‘lose it all,’as it is to realize that I never in fact ‘owned’ anything as who I am in fact cannot be lost.

I realized that everything that I have believed myself to be in relation to ‘my belongings’ and calling stuff ‘my belongings’ is part of the personal brainwash wherein through money we’ve acquired things that we have defined as ‘our property’ – even sometimes becoming possessed by them – instead of realizing that in equality and oneness as everything that is here, there can exist no ‘real ownership’ in any way whatsoever. How can there be if we cannot even be aware of ourselves as our own physical body and actually BE in it/ as it, we only use it as a way to continue creating ideas beliefs and perceptions of who we are as our thoughts, as our belongings, as ‘that which we own,’ which is the thinking-pattern that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become when accepting the ‘who I am’ in relation to money in a world where life and everything that is of the Earth has been given a numerical value as a ‘price’ that defines the amount of money that we require to have to ‘own it’ because we haven’t simply decided to create a system wherein we can give to each other that which we require to live unconditionally. It is really a matter of deciding to do so.

I commit myself to at all times realize how it is only through the premise and existence of money-consciousness as ‘value’ over life that I can perceive a sense of ‘loss’ and ‘lack’ toward something/ someone in my reality. Thus it is to realize how I can in fact walk this process to equalize myself as my mind, my physical body and the thoughts that I use to define ‘who I am’ to ensure that I no longer ‘think’ of something as a point of property or ownership, but instead realize that it belongs to HERE and is available  for everyone – it is in fact ourselves that must ensure we create a physical system to support all beings Equally, just the way proposed in the Equal Money System which begins at a thought level of how we relate ourselves to the physical reality, ensuring that we do not view ‘who we are’ according to the amount of money we have/ don’t have and the stuff that we buy with it.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge someone as ‘careless’ because of presenting little to no attachment to things as ‘belongings.’ I see and realize that worrying and being concerned about ‘losing stuff’ is a point that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as/ be brainwashed with in a continual ‘fear of loss’ in relation to  ‘who I am’ when it comes to ‘my belongings’ as a point of constant possession, instead of realizing that I can in fact use what is here, what I currently have at my disposition to support myself to live, but at all times realizing that I cannot possibly ‘own’ it, as property is in fact a delusion backed by our current capitalist system as our ‘thought-making doctrine’ that we believe is ‘who we are,’ wherein we have given value to everything and everyone in separation of ourselves as one and equal as Life.

When and as I see myself judging someone as ‘careless’ for not ‘caring’ about ‘losing stuff, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I was taught to always ‘be careful with my money/ save it/ keep it/ not squander it’ which became a constant fear-reminder to see money as something ‘superior’ to me, wherein the loss of it would mean ‘being scolded for losing money/ wasting money’ without realizing that money in fact is just paper and coins that we have elevated to a godly status, missing out the entire reality of who we really are as life, as everything that is here that is actually being depleted/ lost because of us using and existing within/as a monetary system that functions according to the utmost exploitation of the Earth’s resources to build our happy-go-lucky lives of buying, consuming, repeating  until we are ‘satisfied’ about having ‘all the money we can’ and equate that to being ‘happy successful’ and ‘satisfied’ – thus

I commit myself to realize at all times that creating an experience upon ‘losing’ something is an actual product of my own brainwashing in relation to the value of money as the thing that ‘I buy my belongings with,’ which I have judged as a ‘separate point’ and in fact, perceived as ‘my happiness/ my satisfaction’ in separation of myself.

I realize that in my mind to disguise the actual ‘specialness’ I had created toward money, I gave ‘more value’ to the actual ‘things’ as belongings, which reveals how it is that we can deceive ourselves to separate money as the bills and coins from the actual ‘stuff’ that we bought with money as ‘belongings,’ as if money in itself was just a  ‘nasty powerful thing’ yet when transformed into an ability to possess/ own something, it suddenly becomes ‘alright’ because we’ve made it ‘alright’ to believe we can in fact own something. This is creating yet another value-system upon things besides the original delusion as money-consciousness having any real value in itself upon life.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever judge myself for ‘not caring about what I have’ wherein I was then taught to ‘actually care’ because ‘money had been spent on me/ the things I own and use,’ which then became my way of thinking as the acquired conception of money as something that I had to regard as ‘separate’ and ‘special’ within the confines of my mind and the value imprinted onto things I own, used, the food I ate, the clothes I wore, the materials I worked with, making of money this ‘one thing’ that I would create a separate bubble of concern for and utmost care due to how I believed that money was in fact something ‘important’ to take care of, without ever asking how this money came to be, why it is that money is being used to abuse each other/ the Earth and the animal kingdom or how it is that money can exist as debt.

When and as I see myself believing that ‘I must care about money’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that money is currently the key to keep supporting ourselves to live and how it is that we must work currently in order to live – however, it is not to dismiss the fact that it is only a means to get the points we require to live and that in no way can we continue regarding it as a separate superior point to ourselves, as that would be then the point of abuse that we ‘hold on to’ and as such, tampering our ability to equalize ourselves as life.

I commit myself to care about money within the consideration of it being a tool to survive at the moment – however I also commit myself to walk the process of redefining money as a tool to administrate the Earth’s resources and make them available to all beings equally as it always should have been.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Not realize how I have used money as a way to lie and deceive myself and others to believe that because I have money, I have the right to ‘own’ something because ‘I bought it with MY money,’ which is no different to believing in a god/holy spirit/superior force endowing me with this magnificent ‘power’ to ‘own’ something/ someone – thus

When and as I see myself believing that I can in fact ‘own’ something – I stop and I breathe – I remind myself of the joke that the holy-spirit and god endowing powers imply as an equivalent to the belief of me being able to ‘own something,’ as this is a quick an effective way to debunk any special regard I had kept toward money as an actual ‘power’ to ‘get what I want,’ which is then a point wherein I can instead, check my point of self interest/ self definition instead of holding something as ‘important’ in my mind without any awareness of what it is that I am in fact being possessed by in a single moment, which in such events, it is only being possessed by the holy-money-consciousness concept of money that is used to abuse life in a self-righteous mode.

I commit myself to redefine money as a current practical tool that I use in order to be able to support myself to survive and direct it to continue supporting myself/others to actually step out of our delusional money-trap as an enslavement system and in fact, destine money to implement the ultimate solution that will Ensure Life is Equalized at last in all ways, wherein money then will have no ‘meaning’ other than a counting tool to administrate the Earth’s resources in a way that is best for all life.

I realize that it is through me stopping and correcting the relationship I have held toward money that I begin the actual living of Equal-money as myself, wherein I no longer hold any ‘special value’ upon everything that is Here as Life, as I can then realize myself as being one and equal to it all as well.

 

This places things into perspective and realize how we have defined ‘our belongings/ possessions’ as things we have acquired with money that exists in a monetary system wherein Life is not considered at all.

Thus it is to realize who we are toward money as a thought in our minds that exists as the premise and accepted ‘value over life,’ which is unacceptable. Thus, what we have to redefine is our relationship toward money, our relationship toward ourselves as the thoughts that have accepted and allowed ourselves to exist within/ as a system of ‘values’ in separation of life.
I realize that everything that we have become as our current monetary system began with a thought, a thinking pattern of wanting to ‘own’ something, have ‘power’ over others, wanting to earn, have, use and even abuse for our own benefit and satisfaction as a delusion of possibly being able to be ‘more’ than who and what we already are.

 

The question here to ask ourselves is: have we ever then lived according to the physical realization of equality as life? No, we haven’t. Hence the Equal Money System exists as the realization and practical implementation of life as the one and only value on Earth, using Money as a simple tool that will allow us to learn how to live as equals, how to give to each other what we want for ourselves and as such, stop living in fear of loss, stop living being possessed by our possessions. I realize that who I am cannot be reduced to having/owning something, as this is in fact the ‘flawed’ association to equalize: we cannot own something, we can only use it to support ourselves to live. I realize that to be and become possessed by ‘wealth’/ money is the same as being possessed by a holy spirit believing ourselves to be ‘powerful’ in fact. We are not, we have only abused life through our current conception of money – thus it is time to stop.

I commit myself to stop brainwashing children about money being ‘the point of power to save’ as this is in fact the actual thought accepted and allowed as ‘real’ that determined my entire relationship toward money as something ‘superior’ to myself, something that I had to regard as ‘important,’ within the belief that it is what would allow me to OWN things – so is this the power of the NOW?

 

THE NWO is the Equal Money System.

Join us in our dedication to Equalize Life in this world for once and for ALL.

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141. Making it or Breaking it

Stopping the conditions we have imposed to everything that we do, say and think as either positive or negative through aligning ourselves to always do, act, say, think that which is best for all, leading to an equal and one successful outcome not as a positive experience, but as the certainty of what is functional, viable and livable in a consistent and trust worthy manner as a practical system to implement on Earth that benefits all beings equally.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define everything I do within the polarity of making it or breaking it, where I am reducing what I am in every moment to a chain of events that can only accumulate to create an experience in my mind of being ‘correct’ and ‘incorrect’ as the winning and losing that I I had imposed to that which I do as an automatic thinking of reality and what I do. 

When and as I see myself defining what I do  according to projecting an outcome as either success or failure, winning/losing, being acclaimed/booed, being liked/disliked, praised/abhorred I stop and I breathe – I realize that the moment that I immediately create the making it or breaking it projection upon the moment of actually walking a point, is an imposition that can only exist as thoughts in my mind that I can immediately stop –

I commit myself to live the realization that supporting the ideology of making it or breaking as an invisible inherent pattern upon everything that I do, is in fact a dictatorship upon the expression and living realization of something that we decide to practically live and do based on the principles of what is best for all, wherein all that we are will be defined according to an accumulation of thoughts, words and deeds directed to create, be and do that which is best for all at all times.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to procrastinate beginning with a certain task because of already projecting myself within an outcome of either making it or breaking it, already going as far as thinking that I will fail and that it will be a tedious process to ‘get back up again,’ or ‘making it’ and then feeling a pressure to ‘keep myself up on the top,’ without realizing that both points as the negative and positive are equally deceptive and self-sabotaging, as I see and realize that both standards can only exist in a hierarchical make-believe value that exists because of how we have configured our world and society based on the ‘who we are’ as our mind, valuing knowledge and information, reducing ourselves to only thinking-machines instead of considering life within everything that we do, which means we would not require to even have such standards as ‘making it or breaking it’ – but simply directing/ doing something and walking it into completion, with all its necessary fine-tunings, try outs, ‘mistakes’ as ways to see what is functional, what suggested to do/follow through and its improvements directed to an actual general living-improvement for all beings equally.

 

When and as I see myself seeking to get a result in a particular task I am beginning and already future projecting onto a certain outcome as either ‘making it or breaking it,’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that both polarities stand as points of conflict in and as the parameters of a mind within winning and losing as positive and negative experiences. Thus I direct myself to stop all polarities as expectations of making it or breaking it when working on a particular project, as I realize that working within the starting point of what is best for all implies that there cannot be a success or a failure but simply effective and non effective/ not practical ways to do something. Within this

 

I commit myself to stop all polarities imprinted within the very words as values that indicate a success or a failure as these are words that support the creation of an experience as positivity and negativity upon our words, thoughts and deeds as things that accumulate to either make us a winner or a loser. I realize that when living through and as the principle of what is best for all, one cannot define what we do within the same old parameters that have created this entire world as a winning and losing arena, but instead look at thoughts, words and deeds as the reflection of ourselves and how we are able to direct ourselves to create, develop and promote what is best for all, which is how all can equally benefit from everyone’s thoughts, words and deeds and as such, create an actual living ground for all other living beings on Earth.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize how I had created a measuring point of winning and losing/ being successful or a failure within everything that I do, going into a point of frustration as negativity if things ‘don’t go my way’ and generating the opposite experience as positivity if I am able to ‘do things my way,’ which means that I had defined my own mind-dictatorship upon reality as something that I could manipulate to suit me or not at mind level, without realizing that: when working, living, breathing and existing from/ as the starting point of equality and oneness here as Life, there is no need to create either a positive or negative experience out of an outcome/ result of an application based on the principle of what’s best for all, as I see that a positive experience supports the same hierarchical system of values as this world system wherein for something to be successful in the current terms of how this word exists, others have to deliberately lose/ have a negative experience and not ‘making it’ – thus

 

When and as I see myself measuring myself as my activities and projects according to winning and losing, I stop and I breathe. I realize that I am imposing  a mind hierarchy upon my every-day living participation, which is in fact being a dictator upon my reality which is what must be realized as such in order to understand that I do not require to Think or create an experience upon my daily tasks, projects and future practical planning, instead of going into suppression of the positive and negative through only wanting to expect to ‘win’ at all times.

 

I commit myself to change the starting point of everything that I do/make, say, think to always consider what is best for all, wherein the necessary actions and decisions are made to ensure that such principle is lived and is practically functional within such projects/ future plans, as I see and realize that it is only through setting an equal value to all and everything that we do as equally ‘important’ that we can stop looking at our own thoughts, words and deeds as tools to earn money/ lose money as winning or losing, as the positive and negative experience that we have conditioned ourselves to when living in a world where life is not unconditionally supported, but instead made a business that we all ‘strive to’ be a part of for our own personal benefit – instead, we change the starting point so that we are always educating ourselves, doing, thinking and projecting only that which is best for all, as there will be no more ‘rewards’ that can create a sense of success above others, but only create at all times that which will have an impact to better the lives of all beings on Earth.

 

I realize that in an equality system, everything will be measured according to the ability and capability of a point being practical, livable, trustworthy in its application as that which will produce a result that is constantly and continuously best for all.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that creating an experience out of a basic practical activities is enslaving ourselves to always expect either a reward as the positive experience or a ‘loss’ as negative experience wherein we instead act out of fear of losing instead of acting as the self-directed living principle to support ourselves and others in common sense as doing, saying and living what will be supportive for all life in equality.

When and as I see myself wanting to immediately assess a point of failure and success as an experience to either feel good about myself or bad about what I’ve done, I stop and I breathe, I realize that I was only then considering MY point of satisfaction/ dissatisfaction instead of always ‘keeping in mind’ that I am here to be,do, say and speak that which is best for all beings in Equality.

I realize that the fear of failure and fear to ‘lose’ any position of success stand as the polarity of fear fueling the desire to obtain that ‘glorious’/ positive experience as an external point of motivation to keep going/continue existing just as a mind-pattern that in no way supports Life on Earth, but is only a system of survival wherein no physical-equality measures exist yet, as products, jobs, activities are currently being measured according to the ability to create ‘quality products’ that equate ‘great profit’ – wherein such great quality might stem from an actual job of slave labor.

Thus I commit myself to ensure that as we go creating, building, manufacturing and venturing ourselves to create an equal and one supportive standard for all activities and points to do in this world,  to ensure that all activities/ projects are in fact done through and by the standard of what is best for all, wherein no more useless homework, tasks, projects are wasted time and effort upon, but to actually consider educating children – and adults at this stage as well – to recognize our ability to create/ do/ generate what’s best for all as the inherent starting point of everything we do,  depending on what is available, sustainable and supportive to do and direct, having a best for all impact upon the community/ people/ environment/ beings that will be affected by such decisions and choices made.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having defined all that I’ve done as being living ‘for something’/ to get ‘something/ someone’ as a positive experience in separation of myself, instead of first focusing on me equalizing all activities, all tasks that I do in an equal manner, wherein no task is immediately labeled as either prone to be a ‘winner’ or a ‘loser,’ a ‘success’ or a failure.’

 

When and as I see myself only living to ‘get a result,’ to aim at an objective, to only ‘be productive,’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that these are ingrained patterns that I exist as, and as such it is to really be here grounded as breath to not allow ourselves to waver and thinking that something is immediately a success or a failure as a positive or negative outcome  from the get-go, which is actually a self-sabotage point that I stop here to realize that every practical point that we venture ourselves to implement will have its points to correct, its initial flaws and corrections/ fine tunings to make, as this is the first time that we are doing this self-realization living-decision in an existential level in the physical –thus it is to be aware of ourselves not immediately giving up or going ‘overboard’ when having a point that works/ is successful and the same with something that doesn’t initially work/ fails initially, as I see and realize that one could only give up upon these results if one is only interested in winning7 getting something out of it for personal benefit immediately, instead of actually being committed to live and created what is best for all.

 

I see and realize that this is the actual practical way and path required to walk through in order to get something done, wherein everything that we do is not result-driven, and instead considering the actual process of doing so being equally important, as I realize that when we equalize everything and all within who we are and what we do as what’s best for all, there is no need to judge any point or activity as being more/ less than, being a success or a failure as all will be measured according to that which is best for all, that which supports life and within that, only that which is harmful and deliberately detrimental to life will be discontinued as a deliberate decision that is common sensical at all times.

I commit myself to establish the Equal Money System as the basic foundation to create a world in equality, wherein everyone will be supported unconditionally so that we as human beings can focus on developing the best ways and systems that can be implemented on Earth to support life in equality, thus there will be no success or failure, as such points were based mostly on winning/ losing money to live – thus Equal Money is the key to ensure that there is no more positive or negative experiences required from our self-movement in our world, but instead simply focus at all times on doing what is best for all.

 

Join us to walk the process of equalizing ourselves as life in the physical, wherein all conflict/ success created at a mind level is stopped, self forgiven and self-directed to an equal and one outcome wherein life is ensured to be equalized for all beings on Earth.

Desteni

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117. I Think, thus I Fear

What is the binding force within our reality wherein we keep each other safely protected from actually getting to know the Truth of ourselves?

FEAR

We can actually say that Fear has become our Religion, as Money for example is the externalization of the Fear of not having enough to live, which is how we created and manifested a system to control our ‘human nature’ in order to ensure that the entire regulation of how much we would use from this reality to live would be within some ‘bounds’ to not deplete everything and eventually end up consuming more than what we could even handle. Well, we have reached that mark, certainly and at the moment all that we consume is actually stemming from a fear, all that we buy as properties are apparently ways to ‘secure our future,’ all the relationships we create are stemming from a fear to be alone, all the decisions we take such as jobs, education, partnerships, hobbies and even what type of food we eat, where we live, what type of water we drink is stemming from fear. It’s not that difficult to create a political campaign that way: just propose a bunch of ‘Safety and Protection’ policies disguised with words like care and insurance to ensure one vote for your political statements, even if they do not get to be lived out and implemented at all.

As I walk through the streets, I see how our very houses are creaming out FEAR, most of the houses may have some ‘beautiful architecture’ such as how we create and build ourselves in our own minds, but oh what is the ‘cherry on top’ of such grandeur? Well, barbwire, electric fencing, double fencing, CCTV cameras, and if people have enough money/ live in a very well ‘seated’ situation: guards that ensure that ‘no threat’ is able to filter at your door. Our houses and neighborhoods have become like fortresses, prisons I’d say, yet that’s the most normal thing to do in a country wherein obviously, money is an extreme lack, wherein everyone does live out the sentence: ‘It’s easier to steal than work’ and also because there are no opportunities for them to have proper education, proper preparation to have a dignified job, because this entire system has been built to only benefit a few – so, we can see how we have built our own prison, how absurd! Considering it is us that have created it: no god has come to create it for us, we did.

 

“I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand how and why FEAR as Consciousness is/has been the primary driving/creative force of/as the nature of energy that has become the starting-point creative force/source of/as me as the Mind and all the Characters/Personalities within that, that will thus all – equally as one, have an existent starting-point, nature and experience of/as Fear. Which, as we continue walking this process of Character-Creation, will be seen, realised and understood by self, the extent to which we exist as fear, the extent to which we’ve created who we are and how/what we live as fear and so within this, why and how this process of Communication, in keeping the internal truth of ourselves as the reality of the Mind intact while physically speaking the 1% portrayal/presentation of/as who we are: is controlled/determined by/through and as Fear as Consciousness.” – Sunette Spies*

 

And as within, so without – I have been noticing for some time how even slightest movements when walking in the street, that which we call as our ‘instincts’ is in fact all stemming from Fear, survival mechanisms that we have adopted from childhood, fearing each other at all times.

For example, it’s plain to see how we would suddenly cross the street to the opposite sidewalk  if we see someone that looks ‘suspicious’ enough to think they could harm us, how we cross our arms in front of our chest when we feel threatened or suddenly ‘feel’ like we have to portray ourselves as ‘strong’ which can only stem from perceiving a potential threat, how we pull out a condescending character or ‘good doer’ whenever we talk ourselves into our minds to think that a potential threat could have some mercy on us if we portray ourselves to be ‘good hearted beings,’ I’ve definitely thought about that.

 

From childhood we have simply complied to this religion and learn it to be ‘love’  because ‘our parents care for us’ which is how we pass on this twisted idea of Love as an actual mind-possession that serves to mark our territory, to protect our ‘who we are as the mind’ toward others and also, of course, protect our most ingrained desires that are always ensuring that what is best for ourselves is protected at all times. We cannot definitely blame our parents and ‘those that have gone before us’ as we have all been there, done that and blaming would only keep ourselves bound to an egotistical victimization role that has prevented ourselves as humanity to actually change, because it’s simply much easier to blame than actually taking Self-Responsibility.

 

Every decision that we’ve taken is in fact stemming from fear. Whaaaat? Yes, look within yourself, it’s there, it’s a mili-second imperceptible quick assessment of factors wherein we are always looking to maintain ourselves within ‘safe bounds’ of our mind, our con-fine-ment wherein we believe that the mind is something so ‘fine’ that we have to protect it, shield it and defend ourselves from any potential threat to ‘our being,’ but is it?  Or have we just been making/creating Gods in order to excuse the actual Fear that we experience to actually face the fact that we have built an entire world as our own prison, wherein all our decisions have Never been real, but only based on Self-Interest, which is certainly the interest of who we are as our mind only which uses Fear as the most effective protection mechanism, never ever considering what’s best for all as a physical tangible reality, which would certainly be the solution to end all fears – but why have we Not seen this before?

 

Now, looking at the world: Fear is everywhere – from our so called petty peeves to extreme moves and decision making that defines the lives of millions of human beings, Fear can be spotted as the default ‘background’ within it all.

Is it fearful to realize this? Well, only who we are as our minds can create Fear upon the already existent thick layer of fears we have embodied without even realizing how and to what extent we have essentially become a handful of fears that develop personalities and characters for each occasion – I think, thus I fear is what should be a more of an actual understanding of how the moment that we separate ourselves from our physical reality: wham! we are up there scheming, thinking, looking at ourselves as a mind that must protect itself at all cost. It’s time to be willing to go facing our fears: from the most obvious fears that we have even held as ‘personal favorites’ – you know, such as fearing the dark, fearing clowns, fearing to be judged and so forth to the most seemingly imperceptible fears for example when we talk to another being and we suddenly shift our eyes to another direction, in fear of being looking into the eyes when we speak about something wherein we KNOW that our mind is being exposed, along with all the variety of subtle ‘microexpressions’ that we have embraced as our ‘default’ expression – however: who, what and HOW did we shape ourselves into it?

That’s what we learn how to walk, dissect, explore and essentially get to know ourselves as within the Desteni I Process, studying all the Desteni Material and the excellent one-of-a-kind existential education available at Eqafe, wherein we are finally understanding the actual steps to Change the World from our Fearful beingness of the Mind as our own Mind Control to an actual Self-Understanding that will inevitably lead to the process of Self Liberation as Self Birthing Life here in and as the  physical, wherein who we are in our within and without exists as the transparency of what living as flesh and bones should be all about: speaking only when it’s required, thinking practical ways to establish solutions in this world, standing one and equal to the totality of ourselves as our mind and physical to ensure that every single movement is actually Self-Directed and Self-Awareness at all times – yes, from the awareness of one single blink of our eyes to how this entire system functions as our the externalization of our minds.

Great, isn’t it? We’ve got the tools, we have the understanding, we really have it all on a Golden Platter.

It’s just about time we face our greatest Fears – Let’s go stopping our participation in the mind as fear and we’ll realize: we’re still here.

 

Support the Equal Money System which is the primary way in which we are practically proposing a System that is Also an educational tool to learn how to co-exist as equals, simply because inequality has stemmed from the actual fear of not having ‘enough’ and as such, developing Greed from that belief that scarcity is something actually possible – yet we haven’t realized how scarcity as the SCARE with which we maintained ourselves controlled, is an actual outflow of a system that was built in order to maintain and sustain people with ‘pacified minds’ wherein fear became the best way to ensure that no human nature could further scavenge the earth. Well, in our attempt to control, we have become the controlled ones by our Own Creation which is the current monetary system. Hence, we can stop now biting our own tail and realize how a New World System in and as Equality as Life can only exist if we first stop living in fear and start considering what Life can actually be the moment that we dare to stand as Equals.

This is Just one decision away: once you take the decision and walk it, you’ll realize that everything that was preventing you from making such decision was only a self-created Fear.

Journey to Life Blogs: Read them all and see what you fear

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My favorite Soul of Money Interview thus far, a MUST Read to see how money affects our entire beingness in this world system:

The Soul of Money – Mind Slaves to Money Authority – Part 31

 

Watch the Documentaries The Century of Self and PsyWar


Day 7– Deconstructing Sugar

Yesterday we had a chat with regards to food and quitting sugar, which is a point I have been consciously procrastinating due to the extent of the relationship that I have created with all things that create a sense of satisfaction, which are related to: sugar! I wrote out yesterday how obvious it was in my body experiencing the rush of sugar, I have made vlog about it as well in the past and I ‘reduced’ sugar for a while, then went back to it or at least not giving specific self-direction to the point, which was leaving the back door open for me to go in and out whenever I wanted.

 

This is about me as the creator of my own preferences, quirks and chemical addictions such as sugar. I am aware that this point is ‘far more extensive’ than any other relationship I’ve had, as this is about food that I’ve become so used to eating and ‘sweetening’ my life with, wherein it obviously at times became the ‘consolation price’ for all emotional down-loops, which is the most common way to divert my attention from what’s here.

 

I also realize that the last time that I was talking with my mother about sugar and stopping it, she told some something like ‘oh don’t be so hard in yourself, it’s not like you won’t ever eat anything with sugar ever again’ and in that, I could see how I gave myself this leeway to keep eating it as ‘the only pleasures left in life.’ I have also defined myself or creating myself a reputation for liking sugary things, specially when it comes to going out with my parents and having the opportunity to eat apfel strudel, lol my perdition.

 

I have to forgive myself the relationships that I build with the people that I buy food from. An example is stopping a relationship with a woman in the bakery as that friendliness is what kept me going to such bakery even if it was definitively more expensive than others. But then, I’ve created yet another relationship with other people where bread was cheaper and I made a habit of buying the same bread which lead the people there know what I like and identify me as the predictable robot I’ve become when it comes to buying items. God, the same in the supermarket actually… What is this revealing to me? That I have also compromised myself to buy and consume based on the relationships that I create with people and how they ‘identify me’ according to what I buy.

 

I cannot continue compromising myself in any way. I mean, if I walk past the bakery on a daily basis and I won’t buy there any longer, I might as well go in there to let them know that I won’t be buying bread from them as I have to take care of my sugar addiction. LOL

 

I realized how I have allowed sugar in my life as a ‘treat’ and I would deliberately ignore the side effects that I had to ‘endure’ as opposed to the deliciousness that was eating a cake for example. I mean, this should be read as masochism here, I’ve experienced how it is not cool for my body yet I kept doing it.

So in these seemingly ‘making up for’ type of experiences, we accept a LOAD of bs that comes in the form of ‘small allowances’ such as when you buy something and believe that you will be able to keep it for a week, and end up eating the whole thing in a few hours only. Stuff like that is creating the necessary alarms to realize: hello, I am not being the directive principle in my world, I am allowing myself to simply indulge into it for the comfort I experience within my body as I consume food that is ‘sweet.’

Ludicrous, we have created relationships toward food of course, and in that we have made of such a vital point an addiction, which is just an outflow of having made of our own thoughts a surrogate living as well as the emotions and feelings tied to ‘living’ as well as eating.

 

So let’s begin with that:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to link sugar to a positive experience within my body wherein I have associated everything that is sugary as something that I ‘like’ by default and that I cannot say ‘no’ to, without realizing that as I stand as the directive principle within me, I have to create such ability to not be driven by a mental desire to eat sugar, but instead discipline myself to support my body with meals that are not creating me an ‘instant gratification’ such as sugary meals.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a self-definition base on it being ‘too difficult’ to quit sugar which means I was giving up before even trying it, which is ‘the’ point of self interest as a nice-fluffy experience that I can get from eating sugar, which I must now discipline myself to re-direct in a supportive manner, which is the process that I’ll be walking as I face this point.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let go of the idea of me being a sucker for desserts and specially, apfel strudel that I have defined as my favorite dessert of all time. I realize that deserting of myself as the idea of being an ‘apfel strudel sucker’ is something that I must let go of in order to stop existing as that energetic tie to it as a picture in my head of what I ‘enjoy,’ without realizing how much backchat it would occupy in my mind when being abroad and not able to get that specific apfel strudel that I like.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a thinking-relationship to getting the treats that I ‘like’ and in that, using my mind to continuously manipulate myself into getting that ‘quick fix’ of eating something sweet, without actually taking into consideration what sugar is and what it actually does to my body.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to procrastinate giving direction to stopping sugar because of fearing ‘missing out the sweetness of life’ by stopping eating sugar and bread and all of which I had created a relationship defined as ‘comfort’ and ‘consolation,’ which is mostly a coping mechanism when I am not willing to face myself a certain point that I am allowing to accumulate within me as backchat –  have resorted to instead cover it up by using something sweet to eat to neglect the actual experience that I am creating within myself and go into a sense of ‘satisfaction’ after it.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create relationships of giving myself ‘rewards’ or ‘treats’ that I would create a relationship toward as that energetic longing for it, which is how I require to stop and see who I am without such treats and how I am able to replace such sugary treats with vegetables and other meals that are supportive and nutritional other than a piece of bread.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to the sensation of chewing something that I have defined as ‘whole’ and ‘filling’ such as bread in my mouth and stomach.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect the common sense that something that is altering my physical body to a sense of discomfort while digesting it, is simply not cool for my body and that I should stop it, yet instead allowed me to ‘swallow’ the side effects because of considering it to be the ‘consequences to bear’ for having such a pleasant and delightful taste in my mouth – and mind – out of eating something sweet.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to eat something that I know beforehand won’t support my physical body providing actual nutrients,  but instead allowed me to abuse my body to digest such gulps of sugar ‘just because of liking the flavor/ taste’ of it, and the sense of comfort and fulfillment that I would get out of it, which is my mind creating an energetic experience out of eating, which is certainly Not supportive at all.

 

I am here to support my physical body and that means stopping that which I have researched, realized and experienced in my body to be equal to  poison that makes my entire blood rush throughout my veins in an abnormal pace, which means that I am forcing and exhilarating my physical functioning at some level that is Not supportive for myself.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse my organs and my physical body that had to digest such amounts of sugar and me neglecting the actual strain that I’ve experienced to digest sugars, yet allowed it in the name of pleasure and a ‘piece of heaven’ such as when eating bread, cakes, apfel strudel and cookies – and in a lesser value: chocolate.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having created such ‘untouchable’ items in my diet like eating bread and consuming that which is always ‘nice to grab a bit from,’ because of wanting to fulfill and satiate the usual sugar cravings that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to – yes, I must realize that I am dealing here with a life long dependency as the acceptance of sugar within me as a stimulant to create a sense of ‘feeling good,’ no different to seeking love and light, really.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to link the idea of sugar to ‘being cared for/ being appreciated/ being pampered/ being spoiled’ from the relationship of getting such sugary stuff from my parents whenever I go to visit them.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to place value in a person that I met and made me 5 different types of cakes for my birthday and equating that to ‘care’ and ‘appreciation.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a dependency to eat ‘sweet stuff’ such as bread or sweet rice in order to give myself ‘a bit of a reward’ during the day, as if I had to be consoled and fulfilled with such moments of eating ‘sugary stuff’ equated to ‘me caring for myself,’ without realizing that such sugar has no nutritional value at all and that it is certainly not necessary within my every day diet. Thus, I walk the process to prove to myself that I can continue living without eating these obvious items that contain high levels of sugar.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist quitting sugar and having procrastinated it for such a long time, because of fearing missing out on that which I have defined as ‘the most enjoyable stuff’ as eating something that I can have a sense of fulfillment through and as sugar.

 

I know it is possible to stop as some other Destonians have shared their on processes of stopping sugar and I could see myself just keeping quiet throughout the chat because I resisted placing a commitment to do the same and stop eating the most obvious items that contain sugar – there is also a point of ‘oh what if I ‘fail’?- but I can’t, because I’ve made decisions to quit other stuff in my life that was obviously addictive – including people and activities. I also understand that the relationship I’ve created with sugar is quite a ‘tough one’ in relation to how I have accepted myself as always requiring something ‘sweet’ to end the meals with, even if it was a sip of some juice or ‘fiber cookies’ or some other ‘taste’ that I could satisfy my desire to EXPERIENCE the sugary taste in my mouth as ‘the final taste.’

 

I have recently cut eating yogurt which had been part of my self-religion in food, it’s probably a month of that already – I tried quitting milk right away but my body went absolutely aloof, so I’m still drinking it in a very reduced manner – this is also in relation to the processes we’re walking and how we require to support our physical in relation to the meals I have been so used to eating and that I cannot just ‘cut out’ overnight. 

 

And so, I commit myself to stop eating any sugary stuff – specifically bread which I have defined as a ‘filler’ in both a physical and experientially speaking as that moment of actually chewing the bread as a ‘relief,’ as a satiating moment that I have defined as ‘giving myself a treat’ due to the obvious amounts of sugar it contains.

 

Sugar is a must stop – there are diabetics in both sides of my family. Actually I know that my grandmother died of diabetes and my sister – when she was little – would hand her chocolates in a secretive manner until she died. So, I see myself in that mirror and realizing that I do have a predisposition to being a sugar junky – the same with my other grandmother that is also dead and would be a yogurt junky, lol.

So, evidence proves that I must stop sugar, I have been also more aware of this sensations that food produce within me and yesterday I went to the shop and bought some greens and vegetables, which is something that I was only buying every now and then. I also realize that I will take the opportunity to find out how my body works without rice – which has become ‘the main meal’ in my diet – yet it makes absolute sense that it does turn into sugar as any other grain, including wheat. I knew this from my sister – who is a nutritionist – yet I continued fooling myself because of the routine, remaining in the status quo with what I eat – I  mean this uncovers how I tend to make of my days a bit of a ritualistic movement – however it’s going much better.

I am not as obsessed with cleaning as I was before, and having everything ‘perfectly’ around me, I am less concerned about ‘how things look’ around me yet I have to be aware of making it functional as well. And so, within this entire point of walking the physical process, something that Bernard said got stuck in me the other day in relation to creating patterns and habits that are supportive as we are now walking the physical process. Thus I realize that it is the ‘perfect time’ to establish that which I am willing to maintain as a living-experience in the physical as myself.

 

I have made a habit of buying bread as the only ‘treat’ I give to myself. I walked it in a mind construct a few months ago, lol and I only stopped going to ‘that’ bakery that I wrote the mind construct about, but then found a cheaper one which made it easier for me to have access to bread again. So, I realize that identifying all the points is key and I am perfectly aware when I make the ‘decision’ or should I say when I indulge-into stopping by the bakery and buying bread. I usually associate it with a reward system that I have created for myself in relation to what I eat – which I took as ‘normal’ as in ‘giving myself a treat’ but I see that I can become quite sneaky when it comes to these allowances and not really disciplining myself to it.

 

However, I am taking it bit by bit, I do take my body into consideration to reduce the amounts of it little by little as I’ve seen how cutting down meals that I had built myself of can be quite disturbing in an overall physical experience that is not comfortable at all.

 

I also realize that I must increase meat consumption with that, which I can only see I have limited myself to because of money – so there you go! our experience, nutrition and relationship to food is directly linked to how much money we have. I am perfectly aware that I could buy all of such variety if I had the money to do so, and seek for organic stuff that is absolutely expensive here. So, at the moment I’ll seek for the best options which means buying more vegetables, which are certainly not expensive.

 

So, thanks for all that have shared their experiences with stopping sugar, that is the type of support and ‘inspiration’ that I required because this is one of the points that absolutely goes ‘against Marlen’s will’ I mean, me the cookie-girl no way! – lol yes I once sold cookies during summer time with my cousins and called ourselves ‘cookie girls’ – we would bake cookies and sell them to our neighbors, it was quite fun but we obviously would eat the remains and so, that was not supportive at all.

 

This point of liking desserts is yet another ‘chunk’ of myself that I have created and continued to generate as a positive experience – I mean, I’m glad that I have come to build a taste for vegetables – thanks to my mother that would nag me to do so – but now I have to actually get rid of that which would ‘console’ my desire to experience something ‘sweet’ within me. So I’ll continue walking this point as I go, for now this is it.

 

I commit myself to being this process of cutting down sugar to eventually be able to stand and see that I am still here after quitting all major sources of sugar in my daily diet.

 

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