Tag Archives: love

619. Learning From Relationships

 

I listened to three audios on Eqafe that I find essential to listen for everyone, considering how most of us – or so far I’ve only known one person in my life that was not interested in having a relationship – are usually looking for and aiming to ‘find that ONE person’ to establish a relationship with.  Here are the titles: Fear of Missing Out on a Fulfilling Relationship – Fears & Phobias, Using Relationships to Hide From Myself – Life Review, Time Alone Before Time Together – Life Review.

When I listened to the Life Review specifically, I could relate to what the woman shared with regards to the little time spent without and in between relationships and how that affected her in disconnecting from herself, from who she was and how much the constant seeking for a relationship made her dependent on the ‘other’ person to be complete within herself – this might be a bit of a vague description on my side, so I definitely recommend you listen to her story yourself. But! here I’m focusing on sharing what opened up for me as I was listening to her story.

First of all realizing that I have been in such kind of situation where I would end a relationship and start another one right away, not spending time alone to reconsider where I am and who I have been in the relationship –  in terms of what were my lessons learned, points expanded, faults, mistakes, things I can be grateful for etc. – and instead jumping into the next relationship. This is probably one of those weakest points I’ve had throughout my life and one that I have been particularly – secretly – ashamed of because it is obvious that it involves a lack of honesty towards myself within relationships in terms of what I can accept and allow, what I can commit to and how I have disregarded the consequences and the effect that me changing my mind about relationships can have on the partner and people around as well.

I share this because I do consider it vital to apply what the woman shares about her story, to be able to take some time off from relationships in order to ‘get back to oneself’. I’ve done both things and will share my experience in both situations.

There was a time that I’ve recently in my mind judged as very bleak, lonely and fruitless, this happened when I was living in Mexico City and I deliberately decided to learn to be alone – in a rather ‘extreme’ way to be alone I’d say – being then fully aware of my tendency to become dependent on being ‘always there’ for other people, being the kind of partner that lives the life of the partner and has none of her own – I decided to learn to be by myself –that means without relationships – and learn to know what I enjoy doing, learn to be comfortable being alone and doing things alone, going out shopping, to the movies, living on my own. Yes, maybe I took it to the extreme in terms of the lack of interaction I had with other people – including family and friends – but that’s something I am also now learning to do in terms of not being too extreme in the way that I decide to change things. So, in a nutshell, I call it my monkish period, and as much as in my mind I’ve judged it as a generally ‘bleak’ time, when I recently looked deeper into it to not resent my choices at that time, I see that such years were dedicated to live ‘me’, to know me better, to learn to be alone, to learn to do things that I decide to do – not that someone else ‘takes me’ to do – and there was a sense of independence formed that I would not trade off or change, because it assisted me to see where and how I compromised myself many times for the sake of being in a relationship and existing in fear of ‘losing’ something that I now know was not best for me, was constantly emotional, troublesome and detrimental to my expression and my living.

Then I got to a point where I decided I could establish a relationship again and I did, again looking back not having the best starting point because it did come from having formed an experience of alones at the time, but I tried to make it work nonetheless. I had settled in one relationship believing I could change the person, conforming in certain ways to make it work and taking the compromise lightly to say the least, not fully being aware of the commitment that I was making at the time and the challenges it represented. But I wanted to make it work for both of us, which didn’t happen. At least I proved to myself that I could fully and absolutely commit to another and still see that even if I am doing all that I can to assist and be ‘there’ for another, it takes two to tango to stand on the same page. I broke that relationship even if there were legal formalities formed with it.

After that, I had a few months to yes go through the sorrow, pain and ‘disconnection’ process from that relationship but I did decide to enter a new relationship after that; though fortunately enough did still have the opportunity to be alone and process through all of the things that I had accepted and allowed – created – in the previous relationship. But still, I do consider that I went ahead too fast and without much consideration of the implication of making such decisions not only for myself, but for the other person as well. This year I repeated the same, because of not having had that needed time to ground myself around relationships and one thing I can tell is that unless one has an understanding partner that has full awareness of the previous relationship patterns, it can be a disaster recipe to go jumping from one relationship to another.

I was in a way fortunate that my partner was understanding of it all, not that he approves of what I’ve done and my relationship habits, but again, he is aware and he made a decision to stand with me anyways and understood that I had things to process from my previous relationships at the same time as starting a new one. The thing that I want to share is how it’s not a bright idea to not give oneself time to be alone after a relationship ends, it can lead to not fully considering things in terms of what one is able to commit to and the effect it may have by making a decision without proper time for reflection, for personal assessment of the mistakes, the things allowed, the points that one needs to self-forgive and work through, because it does ‘filter’ or ‘spill through’ to the new relationship and it may lead to ruin if one does not handle the situation with proper sense of responsibility and communicating about it and again, having a partner that can understand and not take it personally either.

So from my recent experience, this kind of situation led to a great amount of stress that I became unaware of – apparently – and I became sick or having certain health issues almost on a regular basis for the past months. This can also be a narrow perspective on my health situation, but this is what I’ve concluded recently, that I put myself under a lot of stress because of the decisions I made in relation to relationships, where not being honest with myself and towards others led me to compromise myself and that became an ingredient to constantly be thinking of guilt, burdening myself with the ‘wrong doings’ while at the same time starting a new relationship and opening up all the potentials that this entails. It’s not a great thing to walk an ending and a beginning simultaneously – point learned.

I would not be able to share this from a clearer view currently if it wasn’t for the process that I did to self-forgive myself for my decisions, my actions and mistakes,  my short-sights and also forgiving myself for the damage caused to others by my lack of consideration or selfishness that this kind of situations entail. However, I also understood that there’s no point in continuing to flagellate myself emotionally, all that I can do is learn from it and know that I cannot repeat this kind of behavior again in my life, or I’d be simply falling again into my old patterns that I’ve worked on already. I did judge myself because of wanting to ‘make things right’ and ‘work through it’ and in a way being in disbelief that I could have managed to ‘repeat myself’ in patterns that I thought I had changed over the ‘monkish’ phase of being alone and without relationships – but, as I now know, I cannot be sure that something is entirely ‘clear’ and ‘transcended’ within me at all, it always takes a daily – constant – decision to act in the way that is right, that is supportive, that is considering consequences, that is responsible and self-honest for myself and for others that I have an effect on.

Currently I assess my situation on a constant basis when it comes to my relationship, because it has enabled me to see where I could be compromising myself or constructively compare how I have now seen that I was compromising myself before when trying to ‘be’ something for someone else in a relationship.  When I decided to be in this relationship, I did take the time to consider who I wanted to be in it and what would be of myself IF the relationship simply doesn’t work, knowing I could stand on my own two feet as well. So, I might have taken a ‘big risk’ considering  the rushed and somewhat risky decision making processes I’ve taken in the past without much ‘thought’ into my relationships, but this time I did make sure to entirely be ‘me’ making the decision and fully taking the responsibility for what I decide to make of it. 

I did take the time to assess the person, even if it was a relative short amount of time of doing this, there were characteristics that stood out for me enough to consider how this could work through, which included sharing with him the process I’ve walked with relationships, the weaknesses, the mistakes I’ve made, the dishonesties, the repetitive patterns I’ve had and that I still have such points to work through for me, to reestablish my self-trust in relationships – with all the past disclosed – and this is now where I can prove to myself that I can stand in an equal manner in loyalty, honor, respect and integrity that such person has given to himself throughout his life, which I am currently learning a lot from as well.

It is not my position to share his views here, but in a way I do want to do it, because he’s that person I mentioned at the beginning that has been known by everyone – and himself – to not desire a relationship or ‘lust’ over women at all. Everyone had always asked him when he would have a relationship and he always said that wasn’t something he was looking for, explicitly not interested on because he knew himself as a different kind of person that would find it hard to find a woman that could ‘stand’ through his ways of living life and the principles he has. He just wanted to work and focus on bettering his life. Well, that kind of approach led him to learn to live and be for himself the best that he can be. He is probably one of the few people I know that loves himself and regards himself as a self-made man that wasn’t always dedicated and hardworking to get to be who he is now, but made a decision to step out of the shadows and strive to do what he was told was ‘impossible’ for him to achieve. That sort of strength made him aware of his capacity and potential, which is part of the characteristics that I saw made him a ‘whole’ man already, not really looking or searching or being ‘needy’ for anything or anyone to ‘complete’ him or make him feel ‘better’ about himself.

This is how he considers that most people should not constantly go jumping from one relationship to another, but be able to be alone even for the rest of their lives if necessary, because they are not yet the best for and towards themselves. This view is perceived as too ‘extreme’ by his friends, but I’ve come to understand his point based on what he has lived and what I have lived and the consequences I’ve faced because of having held this constant belief that ‘I need to be in a relationship’ and the outflow this has. I’m not saying that this is how it’s supposed to be, but simply different ways to approach the relationships. Mine was more ‘trial and error’ and yes causing consequences for me and for others, his was more of a holistic approach of deciding to be in a relationship if and when the right person would exist for that.

Of course, he is now in a relationship and that may seem contradictory for many, but he explains how this is the first relationship he’s ever had – and took it to the level of absolute commitment and responsibility, which has led him to explore and open up many more ways of enjoyment in life, more than the ones that he already had been living on his own. I don’t want to sound like I’m praising him, but I do want to share  this because I’ve noticed how many strengths are built through deciding to be ‘the best for you’, to learn to be a man – or a woman – for oneself first, to learn to love, care, be the joy of our own lives instead of expecting something or someone to come and ‘save us’ or ‘fulfill’ our lives in one way or another. So, his usual perspective or ‘advice’ to anyone is to learn to be alone and learn to be ok with themselves, letting go of the notion of needing a relationship – and even better, to not participate or create a habit in desiring sex or porn or that sort of mental-masturbation in relation to women – or the opposite sex – at all, which leads to a genuine discovery of physical expression in a relationship, probably something that most people ‘seek out’ through mind stimulation and my take is that this pollutes or ‘disconnects’ us from the ‘hereness’, the physical development of actual touch and clear-mindedness so to speak required in a developing a physical relationship. This is not only related to sexual expression, but also in relation to fully focusing on being with the one person you decide to be with and not entertaining any thoughts, ideas, beliefs or glances at something or ‘someone else out there’ that ‘could be better’ than the relationship one has decided to be in.

What I’ve gathered from my time with him is how it truly takes that sort of diligence to honor and respect oneself and not exist solely for the idea of a ‘relationship’ as something to ‘get to’ or ‘find’ as an absolute goal in one’s life. It seems that as one focuses and works on fulfilling oneself and becoming that person that one enjoys looking at in the mirror – and not only for appearance level – but for the person one shapes of oneself – then one simply aligns with people that are on that same ‘track’ so to speak in their life, and that’s how you meet and realize that it is something that can work as a betterment platform for both, which was my approach as well when deciding to establish this relationship. We both agreed that this was going to be a relationship of two fulfilled individuals walking together, me knowing that if I decide to no longer be in the relationship, he’s not going to be ‘needing’ me as such, but will continue his life and endeavors as usual and vice versa – communication and understanding and assessment at any time.  The relative ease with which this agreement-  as he also called it – was able to be established is simply because of seeing the affinity in our ways of thinking and living and our principles and the way of living as well as our aims in life. I am fully aware some of my views are not that ‘popular’ with regular people, because they may sound too ‘out there’ or ‘difficult to achieve’- but not for him.  Then it is simply like two notes resonating at the same level that consider they can join in and create a harmony that will better the sound in each other’s life – and that’s what it currently is and has been.

There are so many more things that I’ve been learning about myself in relation to him in that have opened my eyes to see what kind of limitations I was making ‘ok’ within previous relationships, where and how I was not being honest with myself and rather molding or making myself ‘comfortable ‘about things that I wasn’t entirely willing to live with, but made it all ‘ok’ because of the idea that no one can be perfect and that I would always have to kind of ‘struggle’ in a relationship – now I know it doesn’t have to be this way. And I’m not saying this is currently perfect, but now I know that there can be people that can be at that same level of self-awareness and self will to live a different life than most people, which is what I’m here to do in this world, to continue cutting through the mold and not limit my expression, my ‘wacky’ way of being that I have come to re-ignite and rediscover within myself, something that makes me enjoy life more and something that I had judged as ‘not fit’ for everyone’s taste and so believing I had to be more ‘accommodating’ for others. In a nutshell, I’ve come to be aware of self-compromise, which is also one  tendency I’ve had in relationships where I kind of sink into the background and mold myself to fit into the idea of who I believe the other person wants me to be – even if this is most of the times my own projection.

The bottom line is that even if one can make ‘mistakes’ in relationships, the point is to always learn more about oneself, to use each opportunity one has to share one’s life and expression with another to learn more about who we are with each person, and yes unfortunately at times getting to also know the ‘darker’ aspects of ourselves – not to be turned into something necessarily bad or evil – simply recognizing that there are things that may be subtle at first but eventually build up or accumulate to compromise, to diminish ourselves even in the most ‘unnoticeable’ ways and I say ‘unfortunately’ – yet at the same time, I would not have known otherwise if I had not made mistakes and learned to see where I truly want to be in terms of standing in a relationship with someone else, first of all checking – on a constant basis – not to limit, diminish or compromise me in order to ‘be’ in a relationship as a need point.

So, having said this, I now realize that as painful, troublesome and consequential it is, mistakes allow us to also see the paths that we don’t want to follow through. Sure, it’s best when we can identify this earlier on and not have situations escalate and have more consequential breakups, but I now see that this is something quite specific for me to face based on the life that I had lived before I started this process with Desteni, my ‘processing’ done in that alone time and how I do realize how easy it is to slip back into old programming if not fully considering one’s actions and acting again on a ‘whim’ so to speak, making decisions without giving myself time to know first of all where I stand and then where I would want to stand in relation to someone else.

Based on my experience and the example I shared about my partner and how he led his life, I see that the best thing one can do is to give oneself time to learn to BE for oneself, to learn to truly love and appreciate yourself first, to be that one person that you can enjoy living with so that no matter who you join your life with – or not at all – you continue being whole and complete by yourself, so that 1+1 equals 2 instead of being existing as a half that seeks another half to create a codependent relationship that most likely ends up in compromise, diminishment and harm towards one another.

A relationship is a platform of support to become a better person, to grow, to learn from each other, to communicate openly without holding back or secrets, to express openly, to test and try new ways of living and expressing without judgment, to walk through disagreements and challenges with understanding – but! to do all of these great things takes a lot of self-work first, otherwise we base our entire ‘wellbeing’ on another person ‘all of this’ for us, and that’s where the fuckup usually is. So! Self first, always, then the rest of the people or situations that may come into our live become opportunities of expansion, a complement that can be beneficial not only for the people in the relationship but also for those that surround the relationship and for whatever is created within the relationship, which becomes an example of what a supportive relationship can be in a world where most exist in consequences and conflict – my personal view and experience here.

Ok so that’s it, again, listen to the Eqafe recordings, they are a great eye opener to understand more of what I shared here as my ups and downs, my faults, my points to learn and correct through relationships.

Can also learn to do this through the Relationship Course in Desteni which assisted me to ground many of the foundations that I now realize have to be lived in a very disciplined way of establishing self-honesty within self, otherwise they become nice principles on paper only – as always, the key is to live it and REALLY stick to Doing it.

Thanks for reading

 

Self First -

 

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520. Self-Accountability and Tough Love

Or understanding and realizing the necessary nature of applying ‘tough love’ in order to honor our own lives and that of others in the name of what’s best for all.

Many times while being in relationships we lose track of our personal self-agreement and where we stand in personal principles and self-support because of perceiving that a relationship is an entity created between ‘two individuals’ – and yes in normal relationships this is how it goes where a lot of compromise and fears as well as positive experiences can be defined through the sum of two individuals existing ‘for each other’ and depending ‘on each other’ completely at an emotional or feeling level – which means at a mind level. However within this process from consciousness to self-awareness the notion of ‘relationships’ is redefined as the creation of an agreement where one or more people agree to support themselves to be the best version of themselves and do whatever is necessary to align themselves to the principles of life, of equality and oneness, of self-honesty and self-support.

Therefore it is about ‘who we are as individuals’ in a relationship where it doesn’t matter if one in the relationship isn’t aware of this process from consciousness to awareness, one can establish a self-agreement with ourselves in honoring these principles and ensuring that we work with our self-change and self-responsibility, honoring one’s life first and foremost.

This means that one’s personal point of focus should not be on what the other person does or doesn’t do to support themselves but instead, what defines us as individuals in the relationship is where we stand all the way in it, who we are in our lives, our principles,  how we work through our own patterns, how we apply our points of change, how we confront situations of conflict, how we are willing to let go of a righteousness and ego in order to recognize and so change one’s own faults and problems. And yes, at the same time decide for ourselves if one is willing to and is able to stand in a relationship where one knows the other person is not supporting themselves or standing in a principle of self-support at the very least – that decision and choice becomes part of our self-honesty as in seeing what we accept and allow ourselves to live with or not.

Here focusing on myself within the creation of a relationship, I found this point of personal accountability or ‘self-accountability’ to be quite supportive as in ‘keeping track’ of myself, who we are, what I’ve done or haven’t done in my self-relationship of self-support.  

In past relationships I would condition ‘me changing’ according to ‘others changing too’ or others showing or demonstrating that they were also doing their part, which becomes the perfect recipe for spite and developing an extremely conditional nature in our minds where the focus is on ‘others’ and not on oneself at all. Therefore this time I decided to not condition myself according to ‘another one’ and instead stick to my self-agreement where I can be able to recognize where I am reacting, where I am not defining me and my change in relation to ‘the relationship with another’ only or re-enacting past relationship patterns; and in general where I am conditioning my own point of change in relation to others changing as well or others looking into ‘their own problems or faults’ too, which is also a covert point of blame and ‘focusing on another’ only instead of entirely focusing on oneself.

Here I share this as a cautionary tale so that one takes into consideration not creating this kind of spite and expectations within a relationship where if one is holding the other accountable first and focusing on what another does or doesn’t do to then decide to change or not change,  the whole point of self-accountability and self-responsibility becomes null within oneself, because then we turn our focus and attention into blaming others for not doing their part, for not changing, for not living up to our expectations, and that’s definitely a point of self-dishonesty for the person that is keeping the finger pointed ‘at others’ only, but is not focusing or even willing to look back to self first.

What I’ve learned to do is to focus on myself entirely – and no, this is not ‘selfishness’ as it might be perceived, but a basic aspect of self-responsibility and accountability within a self-agreement within which I decided to step into the creation of a relationship with another. Therefore this allowed me to work every time on letting go of my expectations of what I wanted the other person to do or be for myself – yet also speaking up whenever something was very obvious to be opened up for their own awareness and self-work. At the same time, I had to also be considerate of another’s life, mind, characters and ‘ways of being’ that I learned to adjust in quite an effective manner – though also of course being ready and willing to draw a line whenever something is out of the agreed best for all and self-supportive habits and ways in our shared living.

This latter point of ‘drawing a line’ whenever one sees that a basic principle of committing to self-support in a relationship that is established at the beginning of a relationship is not being followed through, is what might be defined as ‘tough love’ where one is willing to be first of all accountable to oneself and so another in the sense that: in self-honesty and within the consideration of what’s best for all, allowing the other person to face for example the breakup of a relationship as the best way for them to realize what each one is doing to themselves and how not following through a self-agreement leads to consequences or results that are compromising for all individuals involved.

This outcome of applying ‘tough love’ is a necessity and an aspect of establishing an agreement – either with another or alone within oneself as self-agreement – where if the basic points of self-responsibility, self-honesty and self-support are not being lived in thought, word and deed and is causing consequences for each other’s lives, then one has to honor the starting point of the relationship redefined as an ‘agreement’ between two or more – and so all parts can agree how it is best to let go of the relationship in order to assist each other to face the points, the aspects where we didn’t stand up in it all.

It’s just like any contract or creation of a society as well or ‘team’ that exist to create, build, direct, expand, work on something – and if the basic functionality of this is not existent then it simply makes sense to dissolve the union and work on an individual basis to strengthen and change the points that led to the failure or inconsistency in the joint process.

This might seem like a harsh move or ‘insensible’ because of not considering people’s feelings but that’s exactly what we have to stop blinding ourselves with if we are to truly honor our lives. It might also sound like not being considerate, not being patient or not being lenient enough– but that’s also where self-accountability is a great way to measure ‘who we’ve been’ within the whole relationship or point of creation in our lives.

For example in my case realizing that I have in fact developed patience, consideration, flexibility, unconditional support, doing to another what I would like another to be an do for themselves, working to stop my own expectations, stopping being so exigent, being less controlling (yep still working on that one!) and be able to reference all of it with another who also in self-honesty would be able to recognize what has been done or hasn’t been done by each one in the relationship.

Therefore what I’ve realized is that what might be initially perceived as ‘tough love’ is from my perspective a very necessary measure to apply to allow another person to understand the nature of self-creation, to understand the consequences of not living up to one’s utmost potential and that includes of course myself first of all, where I can also see and become aware of my own points of compromise, my choices, my decisions, assessing ‘where I am’ and ‘where I am going next’ which yes would be directed to a supportive outcome and potential within a relationship. However this is precisely what I have to leave clear for myself and so share here as a general reminder for anyone reading: there is a vast and visible difference between seeing a ‘potential’ in a relationship and in one another and living such potential or actively working to become that potential and having physical reality proof of that in thought, word and deed as the nature of who we are at all times.

This is how in personal accountability, we can establish our own clarity to see who we are, what we have done or haven’t done, who we’ve been within an entire point of self-creation and hold ourselves accountable for it. This ability to ‘see ourselves’ and recognize our pros and cons to self-creation and be determined to acknowledge them is the essence of truly loving ourselves, caring for ourselves and so another – so that we can acknowledge it, face it, understand it and commit ourselves to work on it. This is the essence of this process and the essence of living in self-agreement within a relationship.

Based on these principles, whenever we see that reality is not ‘adding up’ to the self-agreements established at the beginning of a relationship, where the relationship itself can become a comfort zone for both individuals to not genuinely change and step out of the recurring patterns of self-diminishment in our minds and lives, then it is necessary to end such relationship in order to honor our lives, our individual processes and potentials, to be of more ‘good than harm’ in having to face ourselves individually rather than together which is an outcome that varies from context to context and all based on each one’s decision – and I’m here sharing it to have the courage to do so whenever it is needed and consequences are knocking at the door.

What is the benefit? What does one ‘gain’ or ‘gifts’ oneself from holding oneself accountable and so another in that agreement or ‘redefined relationship’? The gift of responsibility, of acknowledging our creation, of owning our creation, of developing integrity, self-respect, honoring each other’s lives even if that means having to separate to precisely understand the consequences we create for oneself and another if we don’t stand by our self-commitment to change.

This becomes a living statement, making it clear to one another that what’s best for all is to continue working on such self-agreement as self-support yet no longer within a relationship.

This is where one has to step beyond the self-interest of ‘keeping a relationship’ where compromise exists and where we might ‘hold it all up’ based on fears of letting go or settling to a point of ‘least effort’ in oneself in order to truly stand in that absolute self-agreement within oneself and so in relationship to others.

This is how then within Self-Accountability – which implies being able to take responsibility for one’s life, in self-honesty from beginning to end of our lives – one has to make decisions, to take charge of one’s ‘destiny’ and not leave it to the hands of hope or fate or even ‘potential change’, but directly act and do what’s needed to truly own our creation, to understand the consequences we are creating for ourselves and others in our lifetime and be able to stand in a position where it’s only ourselves, individually, that can decide if we fall or if we stand up – but not any longer ‘trapping’ oneself and others into consequential outcomes, such as it happens in any relationship or joint project, work situation or anything else where instead, each individual can assess their situation and therefore understand when it is best to ‘go back to the drawing board’ in order to be most effective in working, living, sharing oneself with another and standing in that self-commitment to be the best version of ourselves and so to each other in this lifetime.  

Here it is also where one’s personal self-interest is overridden to living principles, where a relationship or partnership, friendship, any ‘joint effort’ with others that is not resulting in a best for all outcome can be assessed and either worked on individually or cease to exist as such if the proof in physical reality is showing that it is not leading to a visible and tangible point of change in who we are in thought, word and deed.

Ultimately how I see it is that each one of us will have to walk through ‘tests’ of who we are in our lives: are we life or are we in the mind? Do we decide to settle in for a point of compromise and self-limitation and eventual destructive consequences or do we decide to stand in self-honesty even if it means having to ‘give up’ something that we find very comfortable and supportive in ‘some’ aspects  of our lives? That’s what I defined as the eye of the needle in my case, that one ‘point’ that we have defined as our weakness, our ‘tough points’ to walk through where we face a seemingly difficult choice: our mind or life, our personal interest or what is best for all?

What I’ve found is that even if it means having to cause some perceived ‘undesirable outcomes’ for my self-interest, what prevails in me and what I decide to always stand for is life, and life takes no ‘middle ways,’ because I know for myself how ‘full-fledged’ one has to be in terms of taking life seriously and living as such in thought, word and deed. Not about knowledge and information here or ‘pledging alliance to life’ as an ideological orientation – that’s what the world is filled with and shows no change at all. Nope.

This is about demonstrating with our whole being where we decide to stand in our lives, who we decide to be in every moment of our lives and yes, I know it sounds very challenging or even absolutist, but it is only common sensical to set the bar so ‘high’ for oneself considering how long we’ve been living in personal recycling processes of doing the least effort, repeating the same mistakes, leading ourselves to a path of self-destruction, of irresponsibility, dishonor and plain inconsideration towards our very own life.

I have expressed many times in my life how I want to change the world, how I cannot accept the ways in which we’ve existed in this world because it’s quite evident where we’ve gotten ourselves to in such repetitive patterns, habits and ‘ways’ of our human nature. Therefore life itself embedded in ourselves and our very creations leads us to find ‘who we truly are’ in our choices, in our decisions, in our stance – and I am quite committed to continue being accountable to myself because at the end of the day, it’s not about ‘fulfilling my mind’s desires’, it’s about the person I can live with for the rest of my life, the person that I can fully stand with every single breath of the way and that’s precisely the one person I can only ever truly change and take responsibility for: myself.

This is the marvel as well of this process where even if we would like to assist others, to give an ‘opportunity’ of self-change for another, to provide the necessary tools and environment to ‘give themselves a chance,’ it can only ever be supportive if the person decides to do all of this entirely for themselves as well and take it seriously all the way. Otherwise it won’t stand and one will be left as the ‘person that tried to save another that wasn’t willing to do it for themselves.’ I’ve definitely have had enough of this pattern so: till here no further.

Some ‘tough love’ is necessary for me to integrate in my ways of supporting others, not only in relationships as ‘partnerships’ or ‘agreements’ as defined within this process, but with every person that I am in contact with through familial bonds, friendships and relationships of self-support within this process as well. That’s the best I can do to honor myself, what I’ve figured out I am able to do and stand as for and as myself which means: if I can, others can do it too.

Thanks for reading.

Lastly a great quote from an audio I’ll cite here:

 

“…so many of us face in so many different dimensions of (being) afraid of speaking up, afraid of saying what we see, afraid of really being direct and sometimes knowing you have to be hard and intense and show some tough love but not be afraid to lose the person. Because I think, actually you know what happens if you don’t do that? You do actually lose the person, and you lose yourself because you’re losing them to the mind and you’re losing a part of yourself because you’re not being honest.” Sunette,  Compromising for Love (Part 2) – Relationship Success Support

 

 

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507. From V-Day to U-Day

 

I read the following quote by Sunette Spies today and I see it as a very important message for all of us to consider in days like today where Valentine’s day has been for many – including myself in the past – a cause of anger, sadness or despair for not being in a relationship, which is definitely not necessary since we all have the ability to redefine how these global-celebrations are lived by each one of us so, here’s her quote:

Yes, today is Valentine’s Day – the 14th of February – globally. I reflected on this day, even with being in a relationship. Looking at the symbolism of the letter V, inspiring me to do this post and also a video soon to come!!! The following opened up for me:

Transforming V to U – V-Day to U-Day. What does this mean?
Even if you are in a relationship – you are still an individual….This is something many forget, neglect, don’t consider or simply haven’t looked at. Being an individual means YOU as who you are as an individual person choose, and every day essentially chooses to share yourself, grow, commit, learn, enjoy, built, create etc. a relationship and / or life with another. In this process, it becomes 1 + 1 = 2: one individual + one individual = a relationship. A trinity is formed. Two INDIVIDUALS creating a relationship.

eVery day should be V-Day and / or U-Day!!! We redefine then the ONE Valentine’s Day we GLOBALLY SHARE as a GLOBAL CELEBRATION of oneself as individual and / or one’s relationship with one’s partner as I do know there is also family days, friends days etc. that are globally celebrated.
YOU CAN OWN VALENTINES DAY!!! In a way of defining and celebrating it for yourself as you see fit – rather than in any way being emotional, judgmental, allowing yourself to go into comparison of others etc.

My message to all this day is: OWN THIS DAY!!! Define and celebrate it in a way that SUPPORTS and EMPOWERS you as a person and how you live. In the end, what will matter the most is your integrity, love, care, consideration and regard as a person towards yourself and others…

MUCH more to come in videos soon to be posted! Enjoy yourself this day as much as any other day…you are ALWAYS WITH YOU!!!” – Sunette Spies

 

Based on this, I’d like to share on the importance of this self-relationship because many times we come to accept and allow the belief that our happiness depends on being with another in a relationship, and sometimes we might even get to live out that type of experiences only to in the end see that without the person, we are still with ourselves and no matter if we are in a relationship or not, what remains is self, here, that we continue to live as and with.

I know, it sounds almost ‘weird’ to say that the first relationship we should establish in self-agreement is with ourselves and that means precisely walking this process from consciousness to self-awareness, self honesty and self-support, having ourselves as our starting point, reason or motivation for it.

Through walking this process for myself, and over time and through the various relationships I’ve had with partners, friends, colleagues, one thing is certain: change and I have been there before in my life where ‘the end of a relationship’ would mean ‘the end of my world’ for some time and it was usually very hard to step back on my own two feet, precisely because I was not focusing on first creating a relationship with myself, in essence living for myself, appreciating me, enjoying me, supporting me first and foremost.

I had mostly lived out a pattern of ‘being there for another’ and through that ‘completing myself’ which is definitely not sustainable, it was not healthy for myself or for another because that’s how dependency is created in relationships. I learned this the hard way, but through walking the Agreements: Redefining Relationships Course while I was alone or without a partner in my life, it assisted me to ground myself in understanding how no matter if I was alone or in a relationship, the focus of support was still on myself. It assisted me to precisely understand what this Self-Relationship is and throughout the whole course I got to see how a relationship is in fact a sum of 2 people, not ‘me completing another’ or me being ‘fulfilled’ by another, I got to see how no relationship that is supportive can last when one is not existing in that self-agreement to support ourselves first.

And this is how the word agreement is used as a way to define relationships where one person in self-agreement, in their own self-relationship can walk with another in the same self-agreement and self-relationship to then stand together and create this agreement of two individuals, a redefined-relationship in fact.

In doing this, one is also better equipped for whichever outcome is in a relationship, no matter the hardships, obstacles, starting overs or break ups. For example, if the relationship ends, sure there is the whole process of having to part ways and get used to being alone again – however this is a much ‘smoother’ process as well when one has a cemented relationship with oneself in self-support and self-honesty, wherein in that self-support and self-agreement one has lived within a relationship, no matter if the other person is no longer there, what one does for oneself as self-support doesn’t change, what one has grown and learned from the relationship remains there as oneself, how one has assisted and supported oneself in practical terms in one’s life and at an emotional level doesn’t change if the other person is no longer there.

Of course there are changes in terms of activities done by both in a relationship and any other practical arrangements in day to day living, but those changes are also able to be faced with more stability, strength and determination when one has already realized that, as Sunette explains, no matter if one is in a relationship or not, we are always with ourselves and that is something that is very cool to understand in the depth that it implies, because then we don’t depend on something or someone else for us to develop ourselves, to grow as people, to change the ways that we know we have to adjust in ourselves, to develop a genuine care for our bodies, our mind and so our lives and plans in it. It is always up to us, regardless of being in a relationship or not.

It’s interesting how we’ve come to accept a notion of ‘void’ or ‘lack’ if one is not in a relationship and allowing it to be a part of self-definition that is usually seen as a ‘lesser value’ or ‘in the waiting for it’ – when the fact is that in doing so, we are suppressing or not looking at the relationship that is by far the most important one in our lives: with ourselves, because no matter ‘where’ we are or with ‘who’ we are, we are always with ourselves and it is ourselves that we will genuinely ‘be with’ for the rest of our lives, which is great as well to realize ‘no matter what’ I always got me, my support, my words to live and my life to continue expanding on.

So, I can wholeheartedly recommend assisting oneself through the Agreements Course, specially if you can identify with what I mentioned earlier as the ‘who I was’ previously in relationships where I would literally lose my ground whenever I had to end a relationship and I’ve found out that this doesn’t have to be that way, one can decide to not give into those patterns and instead strengthen and rekindle – if you will – the relationship to oneself, because it is quite liberating at the same time for oneself and for others to not make ourselves dependent on others to live in self-fulfillment, in self-enjoyment and self-support, wherein we can decide to look at life through the eyes of owning our creation, owning our time of the day every day.

Therefore it is up to us then to instead of going into reactions like sadness or fatalism for being or not being in a relationship ‘with another’, I’d rather say: focus on the relationship with yourself because it’s with you that You’ll live with for the rest of your life, it’s your body, your mind the one that you’ll have to ‘stand through’ and with until your last breath and if we haven’t given to ourselves that actual love, care, consideration, support and enjoyment of who we are as a person, as an individual, alone,  then how can we expect any other person to ‘give it to us’? That’s how love turns to hate which Is what I have explained in a previous blog if you want to check it out.

I suggest embracing yourself and realizing how we are not really ‘alone’ as we are always with ourselves – and at the same time it is also up to us to expand our definition of relationships to others in a supportive manner, expanding this self-agreement in our relationship with any other person is certainly a suggestion here as well, so that no matter ‘what’ goes on in our lives and paths, we always have our ourselves as our own ground, our starting point of self-support, our own self-care and self-love, and in turn be able to give it to others as a genuine expression of ourselves, not as a ‘need’ or ‘lack’ or ‘convenience’ of sorts.

That’s definitely the kind of human beings I’d like us all to be, to be able to stand alone and be self-caring, self-fulfilled individuals that can join paths to create something of support together for ourselves and for others  – yet can function as units or ‘stand alones’ in an equally supportive manner. That’s the real equality equation of 1+1=2 and that’s what I want to continue practicing being and standing as in my life and with others in my life.

Thanks for reading,

Enjoy

 

Artwork001 color 2

 

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505. Why Do We Hate?

Or understanding hate as a way to avoid looking at how we created expectations towards others being or doing that which we desired/wanted for ourselves.

This has been a question that I consider we have all had in our lives at some point and unfortunately like many other ‘darker’ aspects of our minds, we fear investigating ‘who we are’ as hate, instead of seeing that in the first place, it’s not really about ‘hating others’- it is an accumulation of negative reactions that we are projecting towards others that are based on an initial positive experience and expectation that we created towards something or someone. This way love and hate are in fact existing as these relationships that we hold through positive and negative experiences, leading us to eventually have to ‘burst the bubbles’ of the perceived positive in order to reveal behind it all, what is it that we have in fact been projecting towards another as an expectation of what we would like/love them to be and do for us.

“One cannot continue with an illusion like this in relationships, how are we ever going to learn how to be ourselves, to stand on our own two feet, to be individuals, to be independent, if throughout existence all we do is expecting everything and everyone else to be something for us when we’re not even willing to be it for ourselves, I mean how can we even expect it or demand it, or depend on it from someone else if we don’t really in fact know what it really I fact means to be all of those things, that we’re wanting others to be it for us. “Atlanteans # 80, Eqafe.com

 

This quote from an audio about love and hate in relationships very much stuck with me because it assisted me when it got published some years ago, to understand why it is so easy to go from ‘love’ to ‘hate’ or any other negative experiences specifically within a relationship – be it with family, friendship or partnership. And I’ve also had a few people ask this same question to me lately, where we seem to get ‘puzzled’ over the realization that we are experiencing hate, anger or any other ‘negative’ reaction towards people that we had a generally positive relationship with initially.

 

What  I learned from this interview/audio is that in order for ‘hate’ to exist, we first had to create an expectation, a positive ideal about another in a relationship where we hoped that all of what we have defined as ‘good’, ‘desirable’ or ‘positive aspects’ that we wanted them to be, would become a constant reality of themselves and therefore in the relationship with ourselves/with us.

 

And what happens when we see our expectations ‘fail’, that’s where the shift from ‘loving’ all those positive/good experiences comes back to its opposite, which is ‘hate’ or any other negative reactions where one shifts the point of responsibility towards others as ‘blame’ and ‘hatred’ based on not seeing these positive-experiences fulfilled within ourselves, instead of actually seeing the point of self-responsibility that opens up for us to look at, which is to in fact first see what kind of ideas, expectations and ‘best scenarios’ we created in our minds and projected towards another, waiting and hoping that they would ‘change for us’ or ‘become the best for themselves and therefore for us’ wherein, the moment that this proves to be an ‘unfulfilled expectation’, we believe that ‘the other person is letting us down’ or is ‘betraying us’ but in reality, who created the initial positive-idealism towards the potential change of another person? We did, and therefore throughout our ‘usual reactions’ that we’ve accepted and allowed as ‘human nature’ in this kind of situations, we’ve come to see hate as something valid towards another. But I’ve learned that it is not so, because it is an experience that Is being projected onto another, and at the same time I’d dare to say it is mostly representing the anger towards oneself for having indulged into expectations of others to be able to change, which is therefore where we usually don’t want to acknowledge that we did this to ourselves = we created the positive expectation in our minds, wanting ‘others’ to  be all of that ‘good’ for us where as the quote says, we are wanting others to be for us what we haven’t yet been and done for ourselves – and when reality proves this is not so, it’s not ‘real’ then, we hit the wall and create negative reactions to it.

 

This is also very common towards parents where as children we create ideas of what kind of ‘good parents’ we’d like to have and when our expectations are not met, we end up hating them based on not being able to fulfill those positive things we had expected our parents to be or do for us. Of course as children it’s more difficult to take responsibility for this, but as adults it becomes one of those things where we have to acknowledge our collective responsibility in how we have allowed ‘parenting’ to be done and practiced for such a long time, where we all have our stories to tell on how we can see the flaws in it, but we haven’t yet dared to stand up and own the consequences to take responsibility for that which we have hated or blamed our parents for, because it then doesn’t reflect ‘them’ but ourselves in not wanting to be the change for ourselves, to live for ourselves that which we hold a grudge towards our parents for not doing/being for us. And that’s no longer acceptable.

 

Hate is genuinely another tantrum, another way to justify self-pity, anger, disempowerment, victimization where we are not realizing our first and most important point of self-responsibility, which is that of first being willing to look at all things that we have attached a positive experience towards, which we’ve turned into expectations, beliefs, desires that we have projected onto something or someone and maintaining a positive relationship to all of that as an illusion, then eventually has to hit the ground to see the truth of it all, as anything else that must come back down to earth after flying ‘high’ on positive feelings or expectations.

 

In this case, the best thing to do is to self-forgive all the positive expectations and experiences we had projected towards another, to realize and take responsibility for the fact that we were expecting another to do something that they had not even decided to do for themselves in the first place, but that existed as a hope – therefore when we get to see ‘the proof’ where those expectations are not being met and seeing that ‘another has not in fact been that/done that ‘for me’’ we believe that we have the right to hate them. Really?

 

No, there’s no right to it because we can’t ever change another and hatred means only venting out emotional reactions as all the negative experiences that were held at the same time by their polarity points of all the positive experiences that we had projected and expected others to be or create for us… so who in fact is enslaving ‘who’ in these expectations?

 

This also points out how the solution to hatred is not ‘love’ either, because love as it is currently mainly understood stands as the polarity of hatred, as ‘all the good stuff’ that we haven’t questioned ourselves in the first place why is it that we have to live within a polarity of positive and negative in which we trap ourselves in good and bad experiences, while there is in fact a way to live outside of this polarity, and live life according to self-responsibility, self-honesty, common sense and self-creation.

 

The solution is to understand, write out and self-forgive all of those positive expectations we built around another/others, all the positive ideas and hope we projected upon others and so take responsibility for having allowed ourselves to expect others to change for us, to be ‘the ideal’ that we have created in our own minds, even if one wants to justify it as ‘best for all’ for the other person as well, as long as one sees oneself ‘wanting to change, save’ another, we are in fact compromising ourselves, preparing our path to face the love-hate dynamic and at the same time we don’t even realize how in this kind of relationships and expectations, we prevent the other person from truly deciding to change and live in a supportive manner for and as themselves, not for a relationship, not for a family member or a friend.

 

I’ve been in this outflow and outcome many times in my life and as much as I have wanted to justify ‘my experience’ I cannot deny self-honesty and my point of responsibility and self-creation in these positive experiences and expectations imposed towards another, therefore it is essential for me to realize that I am always the origin, cause and creation of myself as this expectation I projected towards another – same projection or expectation that I now have to bring back to myself so that I can genuinely stand as an individual that does not become dependent on another to change, does not condition our process of self-honesty based on an ideal in my  mind to fulfill by others, even if it’s ‘best’ for others, we cannot ever make that decision and live that process of change for another and that’s actually a principle that I’ve known in theory for so long, yet one can still fall for a moment in it and be blinded by the ‘good experiences’ and neglecting to look at the reality behind it, which is always there in the background, I assure you, it takes courage to recognize the truth and reality behind all the seemingly good experiences.

 

Ultimately this brings me back to seeing that it’s not about ‘others’ that we go into love or hate, but it’s always about ourselves and what we imprint as experiences, expectations, desires, wants, needs towards others and how then we trap ourselves when seeing that it didn’t come through in reality, because we cannot ever stand in the life of another to change them or to be those changes ‘for them’ either, and this is why this process is the ultimate individual self-realization, because no matter how much ‘good’ we would like to do onto others, it’s ultimately up to each one to create themselves/ourselves and I would not want it any other way really, otherwise it would be again very consequential to enslave each other based on becoming ‘each other’s crutch for change’ and expecting another to leave the crutch and stand alone, but the reality does boil down to seeing how if we are not willing to be the best version of ourselves for ourselves, individually, we cannot ever be that for another in a relationship – whether it’s family, friends, partnership, colleagues – and this world is built in relationships.

 

I’ve shared many times before how the same happens with hating presidents or politicians and how it only reveals how many ‘good expectations’ we have projected onto others, to be and act in the best way possible ‘for us’ and in that, creating this righteousness experience if they ‘dare’ to not live up to our expectations, but… who created those expectations in the first place? We did, and so we have to realize our responsibility in creating all of the outcomes that we usually Love to Blame others for, yet, we haven’t even looked at why in the first place have we allowed ourselves to polarize our relationship to things and people in this world within a positive and a negative in which we ‘bounce’ from one pole to the other…

There’s no doubt to me that there is so much to learn from our reactions and how they all always can indicate and assist us to see something that we are not wanting to face, to acknowledge and change within ourselves to begin with.

 

That’s how hate is no different to blame and dodging one’s responsibility to our creation, our expectations, our desires that we are seeking to be fulfilled ‘by others’ in our lives – definitely time to take responsibility for ourselves in its totality and as the audio says, be able to be all of that for ourselves  first instead of expecting others to be that for us.

 

Thanks for reading

 

Recommended audio-support to understand Hate and learn to Self Forgive it:

And!

 

Darla 06

 

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422. What is Happiness to me?

Is happiness only a state of mind? Is it something that lasts for a few moments only? Is it only embedded in the image of someone smiling, people jumping with their hands up in the air? is it the image of a peaceful and pristine paradise? is it a work in progress?

 

We had a two day workshop on Redefining Happiness, and what came up was an interesting and self-supportive array of points to consider within ourselves, to re-look at what one had previously defined as ‘happiness’ and so then walking those points within self-honesty,  collecting considerations and looking at practical aspects that are required within the creative and living process of happiness in a self-honest and self supportive manner. So here’s my self-investigation that culminates with the integration of realizations that came through during our group chat on this topic.

 

 

Happiness

 

Not long ago I would have defined happiness as something that is just ‘bollocks,’ an easy way to sell products, a blatant way to sugar coat self interest or else, but as with all words in our reality, due to the resistance that I had to even look at it, I decided it was rather best to start redefining words and walking a collective process to align our definitions to a common sensical outcome and creation. So, I’ll start here by disclosing my past-relationship with the word happiness.

What I had defined as happiness had to do with what I had learned I should ‘aim to live’ in my life, that ultimate goal that would make me absolutely blissful, content and fulfilled with myself. I definitely had trouble at times pondering what this could be because I could feel ‘happy’ for example before and while I would go to a music concert from my favorite bands when I was a teenager; as a pre-teen I could feel ‘happy’ after having binged in rollercoaster rides, and maybe happy as the experience I had when I first flew in an airplane when I was some 6 years old, also skating, jumping in an elastic bed or swimming were part of my happiness during childhood. Later on I started defining happiness according to being with certain people and in certain relationships, which has also to do with the ‘grown-up’ idea of ‘being happy when having relationships’ for example as a common goal in life.

Also, my idea of happiness was linked to ‘who I wanted to be’ as an artist for example, or a writer at times. I would picture myself being alone and living in some big city and being famous/recognized, earning good money and so being able to travel around the world and having the kind of ‘bohemian’ type of life where I would not have to worry about money and I would only have to pursue my personal satisfaction of fame and glory, lol. I thought that happiness was precisely getting to travel the world, showing my art in such places and having nice dinners with famous people or something, to be ‘in that circle’ of intellectuals and artists and so forth. Fascinatingly enough – and glad about it as well – I got to have a bit of a taste of this last early on as I was ‘sharpening my knife’ to be part of the art world and got to travel to another country and exhibit my photographs and hang around people that everyone would recognize on the streets. So I ‘luckily’ got to see what kind of agenda/day to day living they have, what is it like to be a genuine public figure, what happens to your ‘private life’ and family etc. It was very interesting that my whole expectation of happiness slowly but surely fell down the drain, because I could not feel happy about doing what I thought was going to make me happy, and so with that came what I call a ‘breakdown’ wherein I felt very lost/sad/depressed for a couple of months after having done that trip/exhibit, because I did not know if I wanted to ‘be an artist’ anymore or if that was genuinely ‘my idea of happiness’ any longer.

 

Right away after that, I started seeking other ‘spiritual’ ways to fulfill this longing for an apparent ‘happiness’ without getting anywhere really, mostly aiming at ‘helping others’ without having the least intention to first focus on supporting me. I kind of knew in the back of my head that it wasn’t ‘it’ and that it wasn’t going to work for real either. So, after this one trip I had, which was almost/exactly 7 years ago, I spent months really looking at whether these ideas I had built around happiness were in fact MY idea of happiness, and it was only 3 months after that when I discovered Desteni and so my perception of everything I had ever desired, wanted or deemed myself to ‘be’ changed almost completely. This is where I started to ponder my previous ideas around happiness as ‘the goal in life’ and got to understand happiness mostly as an energetic experience that one gets as the result of some input, like for example when taking drugs and getting ‘high’ and ‘feeling good’ and associating that with happiness – that type of experience, which is all a mind job of course.

I saw that my idea of happiness had to go through a process of purification if I can call it that, I realize that I had only aimed at benefitting me in pursuing MY dreams and in that, I was in fact forgetting and not considering everything and everyone in that equation.  Once that I had a bit of the taste of the ‘personal happiness’ or what I had defined as such, I realized that it actually made me feel emptier and more depressed than ever, because I saw it as meaningless = not doing something that I was yearning to do as in creating a ‘greater change’ or ‘saving the world’ out there.

So, it has only been through walking this process of self-support and self change and having the ability to self-forgive all past ideas, perspectives, illusions and desires for energetic experiences that I have been able to now trust myself in the ability to redefine the word ‘happiness’ so that it doesn’t become this fleeting and flimsy experience in my mind and body, something that ‘comes and goes’ but becomes an actual living word not only for ‘me’ but for everyone as well.

 

‘All I want in life is to be happy’ is a common goal in our lives, but this also means that we have been defining happiness with as many different meanings as there are minds in this world, some common aspects are linked like money, good relationships, good sex life, being the best at something, having good health and such, but do we ponder then why have these become desires instead of ways in which one actually lives the construction of such happiness? Why have we made of happiness an ideal, an ever elusive ‘goal’ in itself instead of practically assessing: what do I require to do to build a general stability in my life, a personal and collective wellbeing, a point of financial stability, what can I do to develop supportive relationships? How can I nurture myself in a way that is beneficial for my body? How can I stop worrying about this/that situation in my life? How can I change the world system so that it benefits all instead of preventing ourselves to live our fullest potential? How can I develop my expression and support myself and others with it?

 

See, happiness usually comes with a desire to ‘have no worries’ or be completely devoid of responsibility, without realizing that if one simply places oneself swimming forever in a beach at the Caribbean and do nothing about oneself or ‘the world,’ man, one could end as the richest yet most disgraceful person in the world – why? Because happiness is definitely something that entails us LIVING in a full manner in this world – and within this, what does it mean to live fully? To be a point, a person that lives and creates one’s personal well-being while at the same time contributing to the collective well being.

The problem that we have at the moment is that our general ideas of happiness have become very varied, very personal, even linked with products to buy or so – how can that be? This is why here we propose looking at happiness as the ways in which we can practically empower ourselves and each other to fully live in this world.

Within the documentary called Happy, many definitions and ways to live happiness are shared, and it’s interesting to see of course, to have a look at how personalized this idea of happiness has become whereas in other cultures/parts of the world, the idea of happiness is embedded within a collective wellbeing. There they define 2 aspects of happiness the intrinsic and extrinsic aspects, which I will share here now as parts that I have come to realize within walking this process.

 

We got the intrinsic aspects which have to do with

– Personal growth: which is precisely what I have seen is and has been absolutely life changing from 7 years ago, to walk this process of self-support, to develop self-honesty, to develop common sense which is the consideration of what’s best for all; to realize that I can change myself, that I have the tools, that I can trust myself in being able to walk through any point in my life to get to a point of stability within and without. This is definitely essential as an overall self-process that I can attest here is a genuine source of wellbeing, because one is also no longer defined by emotions or feelings to define myself, so I rather focus on supporting me, my mind, my body to live in a general stability.

– Close Relationships and the feeling of living in community: developing relationships with people even if they are not in your immediate environment, but relationships where self-support is the starting point is within my life and experience one of the most gratifying things, to be able to support me and support others, and work with people that are equally walking a process of taking responsibility for themselves, living day by day within the commitment of supporting and changing themselves to within that, also change the world is one of the most satisfying things as well. It would have been very tough to do this process of personal support alone, maybe impossible – so I definitely recognize the power of walking with a group of people – physically or non-physically around – to support oneself in this process of self-change and self-support. These relationships go beyond a ‘friendship’ or a feeling, they are genuine bonds of co-creation that will surely be long lasting.

 

The Extrinsic goals:

– Money is something that is definitely needed to create a financial stability for oneself. It is definitely something to question if a poor person claims to be absolutely happy, how can that be if happiness is about living up to our utmost potential? That means then requiring at this moment in this world money to be able to obtain the necessary resources on this. So, this is a genuine point that one does require to be ‘happy’ at this stage, to have a dignified living – which is definitely different from only desiring money as an ultimate goal – nope, money is a means to create such support and to nurture/sustain ourselves properly, but ultimately, greed is of course also a point to debunk within self-honesty, because no amount of money can create ‘wealth’ in itself if we weren’t living in our awareness of the interdependence we hold to each other individual and part of this reality.

 

– They claim that Image, personality and status or popularity is something that also gives happiness. I question this as a sense of ‘ego’ creation, though in a redefined manner, this can comes by default when one works on oneself and one starts focusing one’s life to support oneself and so be an active agent of change in the world. One’s words, thoughts, deeds start speaking for themselves and so this ‘recognition’ is not then a popularity game of sorts one participates in, I’d rather place it as the ability and potential we all have to stand as an example of what is possible to live and become when establishing living principles of what’s best for all in our lives.  This is then a point where one can simply recognize and acknowledge one’s living day to day actions and see the benefit of them for what they create as a consequence, and develop a sense of honor to oneself and all life around us which is definitely what I can also link to a sense of happiness, of fulfillment, of genuine stability and way to prosperity.

 

There was also a point wherein I simply denied all happiness to exist, and yes just as love defined as a slight or overwhelming churning of energies within ourselves, as an energy experience it is definitely not something that I could ‘forever experience,’ because it’s only momentary which indicates: it’s a mind job. Thus happiness had to become a word that I can mostly live through the consideration of how can I build, create this point of self-support, self-stability in my life and reality, how can I cooperate and co-work with others in order to create a change in this world. So, what’s interesting here is that me desiring to ‘change the world’ would have been also a point I would link to happiness, but little did I know that if I had only sought to ‘change the word out there’ I would have missed first my personal point of self-responsibility: changing myself, first supporting myself.

So I do say here that happiness as a word to live by does imply first self-responsibility: taking care of ourselves, ensuring one has sufficient money to live in dignity, where one has the ability and continues to improve one’s life, to challenge ourselves further, to develop ourselves to our utmost potential, to live by the law of placing the extra effort to get things done in a way wherein I can genuinely say ‘this is my creation, this is my expression and I am satisfied with it.’ Within this of course comes the consideration of how within me living by these principles, what I do in the ‘outside world’ will thus be the constant and continuous expression of what I live within and as me – this is thus how I have defined my ability to live happiness within giving myself, my life, my day to day a purpose which is to make of this world a place wherein we call all live actually happily, so that happiness stops being a ‘desire’ in our minds, but instead becomes a genuine and feasible practical method, a way and series of actions and steps that involve each one’s participation to co-create such happiness in reality.

This is how I see that in order to create and live happiness = the whole must be contained, everyone must be considered, because if we leave one person outside of this consideration, then that one point will make us all miserable again, because this life is about learning how to coexist as equals and so within this, I see that happiness in its FULL expression is not yet ‘here’ as the definition of all living parts in this world having a dignified and satisfying existence.  I see that happiness is a ‘work in progress’ when it comes to genuinely Living it at a global level – however, it is possible to work on creating a general stability and support for oneself to live in a responsible manner, which I’ve found to be actually a great source of satisfaction and fulfillment.

In fact, living this process of self-support with the Desteni tools is an awesome practical way to create and build this happiness for oneself, it won’t definitely make you all tingly within yourself, nor would it come with ease either, it does take actual work, dedication, discipline, consistency, self-will, determination, self-leadership and creativity to do this, but these are all aspects that are definitely worth investing one’s life and time on. Having said this, it does make sense to say that aiming to be ‘happy’ within this context and consideration, to create happiness for everyone in this world is a cool thing to aim at, because it will enable us all to create a general well-being wherein we can actively and continuously create and make of this world a system of support, of living-life instead of merely surviving or having to strive to ‘make a living,’ where our relationships become necessary pillars for us to thrive instead of obstacles to achieve personal gain and self-interest.

If happiness is a common goal in each one’s life, it’s best to then recognize it as something that can only genuinely exist if we all first place the consideration of creating this happiness, this stability, this self-support, self-care, and self-honesty within each one of us individually, so that then we become a +1 person that becomes a pillar to build this happiness in the world, no matter where you are: our lives, how we live/what we do in each moment, how we walk our day to day defines what we create collectively. So, it’s about time we stop seeking for happiness ‘out there’ and instead focus on creating it within and without.

What I can share as the practical way to do this is by walking this process of self-support, I hadn’t ever been satisfied with my life or even would dare to call myself as ‘being happy’ because I was a Grinch, so unhappy about life /the world and blaming everything and everyone for why my life wasn’t ‘working,’ instead of realizing that I do not have to ‘seek happiness’ out there, I have to actually recognize my ability to create it, to become it and to establish it/share it with others in this world. Sounds nice, yep, but it takes actual work and dedication to genuinely live it, it takes guts to also be able to let go of previous definitions of ‘happiness’ by testing it out, seeing if what one had defined as happiness is really a constant and continuous point I can live within my life that is Best for All for eternity – and there, first steps of self-honesty will emerge.

It’s surely enjoyable to take the wheel of your life, and this is precisely what we learn to do in this process, so I recommend it 100% percent.

 

I commit myself to any time and all time required to bring this world back to that which is life, regardless of what it will take and I commit myself not to allow the values the mind  as me have become to determine what is real value. Until this is done. – Bernard Poolman 

 

Living Principles

 

Suggested blog:

Day 2: Happiness and Me

 

I dare you to start questioning what happiness is for you and if you’re ready to live genuine happiness, join us here:

 

Read people recognizing their self creation abilities in the 7 Year Journey to Life blogs

The Free Desteni I Process Lite course is a first platform of self-support to learn more about ourselves, our mind and understand how we can practically improve our potentials and skills.


391. Noah’s Revelations

I went to watch Noah the other day mostly because I had read some reviews from angry Christians about it and so I was curious to watch it for the sake of understanding what the fuss was about.  I usually like Aronofsky’s work and this wasn’t the exception.

 

Noah

 

What I liked the most is the ability to place into question the general belief-system surrounding the benevolent god that Christianity in this case is meant to be founded upon; sometimes it seems that all the actual killings, sacrifices and atrocities that God commands to people throughout the bible have gone unnoticed just because of it being the sacred book that defines our image and likeness, an image and likeness that as human beings we’ve tried to hard to avoid and prevent looking at, our own ‘spell to ward off our darkness’ which in terms of religions, any fault to god is a punishment acquired without ever questioning God and its commands themselves.

 

So, before discovering Desteni I could not make sense of how this God figure operates or how people would generally perceive it, since it was supposed that god is meant to be loving, caring, merciful being…. however we only have to look at our creation, our image and likeness we have become wherein our own creations speak for themselves in terms of ‘who we are’ and we are annihilating life in the name of beliefs, ideas, experiences, delusions of progress wherein our real god is money itself – and the bible is the code for this reality, how to submit to the idea that one can only get access to life if one sweats the brow all day to earn it… figure it out how we are still living in a system that is based on a biblical scheme, and somehow we haven’t yet questioned that either.

 

The reason why I find it so relevant to talk about the movie is because throughout the story, one of the pivotal points demonstrated is  that all human beings have this inherent evil as the image and likeness of the creator – and this is by far the most necessary yet obviously shocking acknowledgement for the light-hearted since it is only through the realization that if we are the image and likeness of our creator, then our creator wasn’t such ideal, merciful and benevolent being that this god/creator was taught to be to be for all religious people, including myself wherein I early on also wanted so bad to believe on something, until I stepped into the realization of the fallacy this was early on in my teens. To me it was kind of obvious that there was something inherently wrong in this world with me having to believe in a god that only cared about a ‘few’ to live very well and leave the rest to suffer with only being able to resort to ‘praying’ to make things better in this world, which is an equivalent of sitting, doing nothing, waiting and feeling sorry for myself and every person that suffers in this world. I consider that the ever-gnawing question of ‘why do we have to suffer/ why is there so much suffering in this world?’ that drove me to get to answers might still be a question that many prefer to ward off to not see and realize the inevitable, the actuality of who we are and our real nature that we had attempted to vehemently cover up with lots of ‘love’ and ‘light’ and words that we attach with ‘good feelings,’ trying to always see the ‘bright side’ without first acknowledging the dark side, the real core of our being.

 

8. Fin de la Ilusión

 

It is essential for us to realize this ‘evil’ within each one of us as that’s the first point to step outside of the bubbly cloud of being ‘the perfect godly creation’ and instead realize that if we are created at this god’s image and likeness, then we sure are no perfect loving peaceful doves, consequently nor was ‘him’ either, and this movie is able to place in full bloom this aspect of our human nature which is lived through by Noah where he has to then decide upon following the ‘word of god’ or act in the best interest of all. Suddenly this ‘god’ that never talks back becomes a great diatribe in Noah’s mind, a struggle in itself when he sees himself having to choose between ‘Him’ and the love/consideration he has for his own family.

One of the huge ‘weights’ that were lifted off of my back was to stop believing in a god, to be afraid of a god, to believe I had to please a god or else I’d be damned somehow for not completing my ‘chosen path’ that I believed existed for me to complete in this Earth. I too once believed this god was real and that I had to seek such ‘godliness’ that exists as part of religious theory books that I saw nowhere being applied in practical, physical reality – but rather the total opposite is what I witness from some of the heads of religious sects where I studied in school. So, as the song goes, I once was lost and blind but not I see and so throughout walking this process within Desteni, I was able to understand the design of religion, the design of god as the symbols to avoid and excuse our own irresponsibility, our own abdication to be self directive in our lives, our own substitutes for ‘love’ as an energetic experience that we become addicted to and believe that that is all that we have to ‘aim’ for in this world, while having to struggle at all times for survival. This is the foundation of the Catholic religion I am familiar with.

 

I can now say for sure that the outrage that some Christians have created around the movie is simply based on the shock-factor that they are exposed to when considering it as ‘anti-biblical’ and a rather a so-called ‘satanic version of Noah’s story’ when in fact it is to realize the nature of who we are and have become in fact, and we are certainly not entirely different from all that mass of people that got wiped off of the Earth with the great deluge. We’re hitting again that time in our existence wherein each tree that is cut, each crop that is genetically manipulated, each bee that dies,  each air molecule that is made unbreathable adds up to our very near demise if we don’t actually stop, or come to be stopped by consequence, and so that’s why I also consider it’s a relevant moment to watch it and hopefully more people are able to see beyond the ‘fable’ that it’s meant to be and rather turn it into a very real and applicable self-reflection process to see whether we have in any way changed as human beings, what has been missed? why are we still the same greedy evil beings that were wiped out during Noah’s times? Why haven’t we been able to change or have we? Because we create our reality as the image and likeness of how each one of us exists as the mind. This is why no attempt to ‘change the world’ is successful as we haven’t yet ‘tackled’ the actual problem which is not God missing all the prayers, but ourselves not doing the actual work required to sort out ourselves and our creation.

 

This is It

 

To all the people that have watched Noah and are ready to make peace with the fact that we weren’t created by a white merciful loving dove of a god that cares about his creation, then I suggest researching Desteni as this is the necessary step to understand why everything looks like hell on Earth at the moment, and how no matter which phase of history we look at, we as human beings haven’t evolved an iota and only now we have the potential to veer the course toward which we are currently heading at which is starkly said: self destruction. This begin within being able to walk through the god construct, the religious constructs, the spirituality constructs with which we have fueled our minds of nice experiences, hopes, prayers and good feelings in an attempt to only wait that such ‘nice energies’ have any effect to solve the very real and physical problems in this world.

 

The problem is: we have missed our responsibility for our creation, we have missed the point all along: we all have been here from the beginning and as such there is no god as such but only ourselves as creators and creations that have abdicated any responsibility to who we are as Life, and instead replaced our realizations  with fears, with excuses, with justifications, with ‘greater powers’ and ‘superior abilities’- never realizing how in every bit we defined ourselves in separation from God we separated ourselves from our real potential, our real responsibility and our real directive principle to become the individuals that we already know would make of this world-system a genuine living place in this world.

The mind is currently our god, our own darkness we tend to veil with positivity, gods, faiths, spiritualties and hope, the actual evil, the point of separation that we are here to stand up and take responsibility for in order to align ourselves to a living principle that we can all be certain will change the nature of who we have been up to now and as such, change the nature of our relationships and our current systems with which we’ve governed ourselves.

If a person goes into denial after watching Noah, they are already making a decision to keep believing in an illusion because they are not willing to face the ‘dark side’ which is not really ‘dark’ in itself, it’s only been kept aside to not face the reality of who we are and have become, which is the first step to then decide to begin conducting oneself to live and apply the tools and principles to become a living human being that is self-responsible, that learns how to care for others as we would like to be care after ourselves, that learns how to cultivate real love as work made visible, the work that benefits us as human beings to step outside of our massive black hole of which we are at the cliff of if we don’t stop and change our minds to recognize and honor the life that lives and exists within each one of us.

Happy Easter

 

“There is no truth. There are only relationships. You either are part of what is best for all in all ways or you are in self interest and allows harm to exist in the name of your personal happiness. This is the Alpha and the Omega of this world. The ultimate truth. The ultimate choice. and You decide who you are and that determines the outcome of each individual. The universe is a group and if you are not able to be part of the group, you can work out for yourself what will be the consequence”

 

“The foundation of the truth of Here will only be uncovered with Self Honest Self Forgiveness. Only those strong enough as individuals will fathom self honesty and will live self forgiveness. Ego will never grasp the simplicity of the message of Desteni”Bernard Poolman 

 

The Great Wave 09

 

 

Suggest to watch this hangout to hear about the truth of us hiding behind religions, spirituality and any other belief and how to walk toward real responsibility toward life and oneself as life:

 

Mindblowing interviews:

 

To learn more on how we can become common sensical and supportive co-creators of our reality, visit:


370. Desteni Insider: God, Spirituality, the Afterlife

 

Coming to the realization that who we are in this world is not working to create a better world made me seek answers to try and make sense/justify the suffering, poverty, wars, corruption, a lack of consideration to one another that I used as an excuse to remain only within a persistent process of questioning reality beyond what one is taught in school. I grew up being influenced by the ideas of there being ‘Life after Death’ and the dead coming through channelers or mediums to tell their ‘loved ones’ how they were alright and how everything was going to be ‘just fine’ for them. But also there were messages coming from a form of ‘brotherhood’ from which myself and my family would be getting all sorts of apparent protections and blessings in order to ‘do well’ in our lives. I kept questioning who exactly these individuals were and why in spite of them seeing the people that were seeking for help – being mostly desperately seeking money – was there no divine intervention to support them and end the suffering, end world hunger or even better: establish Heaven on Earth. All that was shared between these spiritual people were nice messages that gave hope and reinforced any kind of faith that would keep everyone waiting and expecting things turning out to their favor as a sign that this ‘god’ or ‘spiritual beings’ actually existed and were in fact on our side,  taking care of ourselves and solving whichever mundane troubled situation we were stuck in. Yet all of this seemed too staged, too dogmatic since it wasn’t something one could openly discuss due to the entire atmosphere of secrecy and reverence that existed whenever these beings would speak through the channelers/mediums that could only speak for a short period of time.

 

I was then familiar with the existence of a heaven or a spiritual realm beyond the Earth plane where the dead would go, yet we never got any answers as to why the world was in the verge of destruction and why us human beings kept existing in these ‘lessons to be learned’ somehow always yearning for a better living condition (translated to having money to live well and in peace) – these and many other questions were not allowed, it seemed that all that really mattered were our personal queries of any form of personal relationship gone wrong, or money problem which, if resolved, would only confirm our trust on these individuals within the belief that somehow we were being ‘chosen ones’ or ‘special’ for having this kind of contacts. It seemed unfair to me since I knew that everyone in the world could benefit the same way we were – apparently – yet others didn’t seem to agree since I had to keep it a secret throughout my entire life.

 

When watching Sunette Spies as a portal in the Desteni videos that were being broadcasted on YouTube since 2007, the in breath and out breath wasn’t anything unusual or weird to me, I instead thought I knew what was going on: I immediately assumed and believed she was a channeler/ a medium like any of the other beings I had witnessed throughout my life – yet there were significant changes that made me ponder ‘what kind of brotherhood/beings were these’ because the message somehow was quite straight, direct, there were no staged words or fancy presentations charged with the usual key words that the other beings I had witnessed before would express themselves with.  I started questioning more and comparing the Desteni Message to what I had heard before from what I believed were the same kind of beings: how come these beings speaking through Sunette were speaking as any regular person? How come they would be speaking about there being No God and reptilian beings having created the human being? Why were they not just leaving with some message of hope and ‘goodness’ rectifying that god is with us? Instead the reptilian point was opened which wasn’t any longer a mystery to me since I had also done a brief investigation on the subject prior to Desteni. Everything I thought I knew about channelers/mediums was debunked when I got to watch the video and read the articles related to channeling (Kryon – Pre-programmed Channels, Questions and Perspectives: Unconscious Mind Pre-programmed Channels, Questions and Perspectives: Continued pre-programmed Channels , Questions and Perspectives: Oneness and Equality with regards to ‘Channelings’ , Questions and Perspectives: How was psychics and channels controlled and why? , 2007 History of Mankind – Part 16 – Anu’s Plan – YouTube) explaining why it was also part of the program and why all forms of ‘light beings’ were part of the deception on Earth to keep individuals trapped in the belief that somehow, there was a benevolent god, that love was the way and that we only had to continue aspiring to have some manifestation of the divine through thinking positive or asking things to the universe. All of this was the real scam and later on understood as the cult of money that it has become nowadays (Read: Day 450: The Power of Now Illuminated)

 

So continuing with the previous post 369. Desteni: An Insider’s Report what I came to realize is that everything was in fact a preprogrammed and predesigned reality construct that we have been living in wherein even the higher beings, the gods, the ‘supreme energies’ that I had placed any form of belief upon were in fact also part of the reality design that we have all been participating in within our minds and in absolute separation of the reality that was certainly existing in complete dissonance to all the benevolent words we would get within the New Age culture – all of this was perfectly schemed as part of the diversion to never get to question ‘God’s creation’ and the beliefs we have acquired through familial and cultural tradition, all being part of the necessary programs that we have within and existing as Mind Consciousness Systems. This is when the point of enslavement was understood. I grasped how perfect the plan had been wherein everything in this world was in reverse and every single aspect of who we have believed ourselves to be as human beings in terms of the spiritual endeavors, seeking gods, bonding ourselves within religions, seeking eternal life, seeking the philosopher’s stone had been nothing else but a nice game that we blindly followed, never ever questioning why is it that we only sought our personal enlightenment, happiness and comfort? Why were we just expecting some god to do the work for us, or have these ‘special connections with a higher force’ while the rest of the world was submerged in suffering and agony due to lacking the necessary means to live which is the same as: lacking sufficient money to live; furthermore, why were all of these people suffering absolutely unaware that there were apparently some spiritual beings that could grant them healings and protect them from ‘all evils’ – apparently. This all made sense to understand how the vilest form of enslavement had to have a very agreeable and sugar coated image in order to be unquestioned and undoubtedly accepted as ‘truth,’ how our constant need to ‘seek god’ was just fearing to realize we are here alone and responsible for every single aspect that has gone wrong in this world, how the enslavement of humanity had been part of a ‘greater process’ by a few individuals that wanted to ‘be Gods’ in existence – it was all revealed to be a sick cosmic joke that we have all been a part of, life after life.

 

As I went through the material, I committed myself to remain skeptical about that which sounded the most fantasy like to me, simply because I could not witness myself the ‘other side’ or ‘the afterlife’/heaven  yet, once again the consistency of the message from the hundreds of beings from all walks in existence speaking through the portal lead me to realize that the final message was quite clear, consistent and made absolute sense as to why this portal had opened and why we they were calling out humanity to walk a process of Self-Honesty. I understood then how all the New Age agenda, the spirituality movement, the promoted ways for ‘peace of mind’ through meditation and seeking to align your chakras to be in resonance with god had been nothing else but a self-interest brainwashing that I had briefly participated in within an attempt to make my life less ‘miserable’ or as I experienced it to be miserable in my existential woes and ever present form of depression. After understanding religion, love, spirituality, channelings as a pillar and essential part to this enslavement of ourselves in our minds, I was ready to leave that all behind and instead begin walking a very different path that I never ever thought I would place myself in: letting go of the idea of god, of spirituality, of something or someone greater than me in order to get to know me as a creator in this reality.

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What I came to realize was that we were truly all alone as human beings, we are the direct creators of the reality that I was wanting to escape from or completely eradicate or disguise with some ulterior beliefs about a genuine spiritual realm that we could somehow rely to in order to be supported or saved in worst case scenarios by invisible beings or forced of the ‘goodness’ that I thought existed beyond the Earth plane, little did I know it was exactly the opposite that this reality existed as.

These realizations led me to understand how I had veered my life to seek answers and make someone else responsible for the mess on Earth due to the fear that I had about who we are and what we have become as the real perpetrators of our crime scene: the world-system imposed on the Earth. This was what partly caused the emotional breakdown that I had to go through in order to be willing to see beyond what I had initially sought to find at Desteni which was just ‘more of the same confirmations about the goodness in existence’ I was wrong. For the first time I had a crystal clear understanding that if we don’t stop deluding ourselves in spirituality, religions, gods, masters, etc. we will continue to abuse and eventually destroy ourselves if we don’t stop.

I went from being a profuse reader of religions, philosophies and watching all kinds of conspiracy theories videos to a more down to earth verifiable investigation of the state of the world; while being subscribed to the DesteniProductions YouTube Channel (2007-2011) we would regularly get all kinds of documentaries and videos that would expose the reality of this world: poverty, crimes against life, corruption in the political world, the destruction of nature, the abuse of the animal kingdom, the conspiracy theory that our economy and monetary systems are, the madness of the human mind, including spiritual messages that were now clearly understood as a genuine scam to divert the human’s attention from the real problems we had provoked in this world. I was taken aback due to the realization that I had mostly avoided watching the full graphic reality that takes place every single day in this world – It made me angry and sad at the same time, going into a depression upon realizing to what extent we have all been too focused on our personal endeavors to get all kinds of gifts from the universe, attract all the money, health and all the ‘good stuff’’ in our lives, aiming at living a happy fulfilled life without ever really wanting to understand how such nice life was in fact being manufactured/produced/created by every individual that is existing in a slave position that earns the daily bread through creating our personal heavens, the real and actual forced labor that exists in this world happens when having no money means: you die.

The sensitivity that I claimed to have toward the world, the usual depression that I would allow myself to be in whenever I would go out in the streets and witnessed the misery, the ‘soft violence’ and constant fear that we all existed in became slowly but surely debunked as the mechanism to protect myself from actually understanding my responsibility within the creation of the problem in this world. I came to understand that my sadness, my depression, my ‘wanting to end it all’ was another form of manipulation to not take responsibility for myself and this world –the constant belittling believing myself to be ‘too little’ to make a change in this world was exposed as a personality trait that had lead me to stand in the background, to choose seeking to create images and pictures that ‘made me feel good’ in an attempt to seek something of ‘real value,’ something ‘greater’ and meaningful to do the work for me, to protect me, to give me some comfort and happiness while pretending that I could ignore the harsh and crude reality that exists for every individual that somehow we have all collectively decided do not deserve to have a dignified living, and yes I realized I am part of the clan as a human being that have accepted and allowed this without a question throughout ages. I understood my self interest to only have a ‘good time’ in this life and be ‘against the system’ while seeking some higher connection with the spiritual realm that I believed was ‘what was real’ – I was wrong, I was absolutely blind.

 

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What became clear was that such ‘nasty thing’ that I had avoided to talk about and pretended to ignore was suddenly understood as the ‘real god’ of this reality: money and this was the simple message that I could clearly reference within my world due to having been keen on politics and sociology before my ‘spirituality’ phase that I had resorted to due to having been too disillusioned of the political and economic world that going to the opposite side was just another shot at ‘making it’ in this life. I had to go back to reviewing the facts of this reality, the same one that is here the moment we go out from the comfort of our homes and the money we have in our wallets – I realized it wasn’t ‘god’ giving me this life, it was money and so my spirituality trip came to an end within the realization that everything I had participated in was a feel-good story for me-myself and I in the mind and that it had made no difference whatsoever to the genuine struggle that the world is sinking in and is continuing to sink in, in spite of this also having been foretold by the various beings through the Desteni portal in 2007 . Five years later and humanity is still opting to hear the feel good fluff rather than walking through a process of self-investigation to see ‘who am I’ within this world, what is my responsibility within this and  how can I practically contribute to stop the madness in here in order to establish the constant and consistent message that Desteni presents and represents: Life in Equality.

 

I started shedding away the beliefs I had held till then since I understood it was only a mindjob in order to justify the worst crimes in our reality, including the monetary system as a belief system, the idea of self as a self-religion and the seeking of my personal desires as a self-interest life path that was contributing to the enslavement of the many and the ignorance that exudes from every corner of this world wherein we are so used to buying and consuming happiness and avoid anything that makes us re-consider who we are, what we’ve done and become and what we are here for.

 

Slowly but surely I made the decision to become an advocate of the rather ‘harsh’ side of reality in an attempt to provide sufficient evidence and personal realizations for all spiritual and religious devotees to hear about such as there being no god, we’re It and there’s nothing and no one coming to save us: we have to do it ourselves.

 

Once stripped from this individual aspect of spirituality that had lead me to voraciously read the articles on the desteni.org website and watch the videos available, I came to the conclusion that I had to obviously do something about this. It was impossible to now turn my back and pretend I didn’t just hear that, it would have been impossible for me to lie to myself any longer – so I directed myself to what was explained to be the practical process that each one of us could live by and apply: the process of Self Honesty through Writing ourselves to Freedom, Writing and Applying Self Forgiveness, Developing Common Sense and Dedicating ourselves to get to know who we are, how we came to be to begin stopping existing as a preprogrammed organic robot that gets to experience highs and lows in various personalities for all the various ‘life scenarios’ and occasions. That’s when I determined myself to be part of this process, because all of the enigmas about god, the afterlife, the creation of humanity were explained in such detail and with such consistency that the key to create and establish solutions on Earth existed in fact within our individual participation in this process – so, if this was the solution I made the decision to do it, I had to finally try these tools that they were constantly explaining and directing everyone to apply. This meant that I had to actually do the whole Process, I had to test the waters and see whether this was ‘for real’ or not – and so I committed myself to this, wanting to be ‘part of it all’ yet not really yet grasping the actual importance of this process on Earth and the changes that were to come within my world, this certainly was No longer an illusion.

SAYING THAT ‘THE WORLD IS AN ILLUSION’ IS AN ATTEMPT TO SOLVE THE PRIMORDIAL PROBLEM ON ‘WHAT IS REAL/ WHAT IS REALITY’ AND FOLLOW THE LAWS OF THE LEAST EFFORT AND ‘SEEKING/ FOLLOWING YOUR GREATEST EXCITEMENT’ TO NOT HAVE TO FACE AND CARE ABOUT THE WORLD/ REALITY WITHOUT SEEING THAT THIS WORLD/ REALITY IS AS REAL AS WE HAVE TO EAT, SHIT, DRINK AND RELATE TO OTHERS TO CONTINUE EXISTING IN IT. HOW COME THAT WE AS HUMANITY DARED OURSELVES TO SIDE-VIEW THE MOST BASIC COMMON SENSE IN THE NAME OF JOY, HAPPINESS, FAITH AND HOPE? EASY, IT’S NICE TO REJOICE IN THE MIND AND NEGLECT OUR RESPONSIBILITY WITHIN IT ALL.

This will continue…

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The blog that explains it all : Heaven’s Journey To Life

 

Related blogs/ vlogs debunking spirituality – 

A selection of my investigation through the Desteni Process

2012 Life After Death–Interdimensional Portal | Testimony

The Video Tolle Doesn’t Want YOU to See

How to Raise Your Frequency (Ask Teal Episode on Increasing Your Vibrations

Spirituality and Capitalism Make sweet love through Hicks

2011 Pretty Happiness Machines – Vlog the Hell Out of this World

2011 AbrahamHicks – You Are Perfect As You Are – Video

2012 Spirituality and Activism Won’t Change the World – YouTube

Eckhart Tolle – Nirvana Is Already Here –

The Biggest Missing Piece – Abraham Hicks –

Fears and white light beliefs

Don’t try to get rid of the ego!” – Alan Watts’ review

The Jesus Message is Not Religious –

2010 ¿Spiritual Consciousness? Where’s the MATTER? –

2012 Positive Thinking Debunked! Heaven’s Journey To Life

2012 I Used to Be a Loving Person –

2012 Religious Consumerism: God is in the TV

2011 Vatican Exposed & the Faithful Deceived –

2010 EQUALITY: The END of All Religions

2012 Doomsday Character: Sick of Humanity?

2012 Existential Woes: Stop and Know Yourself

2012 Organic Self-Indulgent Lifestyle –

11.11.11 Opening Of The Portal Of The Divine

2012 Walking with Desteni: Why I could Hear the Desteni Message – Part 1 –

2012 Walking with Desteni: Why I could Hear the Desteni Message – Part 2

The Secret History of the Universe: The Discovery of Light –

2010 Do You Want to Be ETERNAL? –

Bruce Lipton ‘ The Power Of Consciousness’ –

2008 I used to believe in a god

Law of Attraction is Based on Memory

Why isn’t Love an Illegal drug?

2012 Love is a Drug: Are YOU an Addict?

Life After God

135. ‘The Secret’ CULTivates Narcissists |

future and white light crap |

Day 11: I.O.U. Life as a Debt System of Power

Occupy LOVE: New Activist Brainwashing

2012 R.I.P. God |

2011 Desteni Portal: Objectives

Desteni y las Teorías de Conspiración

How I was able to Hear Desteni?

In Heaven Everything is Fine

 


The Starting Point

By Ken Cousens

 

“True Love cannot exist in the presence of Unequal Station”
In this essay we will explore the fundamental context that one must address in order to understand the concepts of Equal Money and Equal Life. This context is summed up in the title of the essay: The Starting Point. Simply stated, it is one’s starting point that will wholly determine whether one can comprehend the concepts of Equal Money and Equal Life, and in that context there are only two starting points that exist, either one starts from the point of self-interest (“What’s in it for ME?”) or one starts from the point of what is best for all (“What’s in it for WE?”). There is no middle ground. If one is starting from the point of self-interest, one cannot get there from here. Every argument and every position rallied against the principles of Equal Money and Equal Life become self-nullifying when the starting point is self-interest. When life is viewed from the subjective position of unequal station, where there is greater and lesser, superior and inferior, more deserving and less deserving, and every variation thereof, then nothing exists except for the self-focused reality of self-interest. Not only is it a fact that true love cannot exist in the presence of unequal station, but nothing exists in the presence of unequal station except the self-absorbed reality of personal agendas, the self-focused litany of arguments ad nauseam that insist it is more important than all of existence, and that rights of birth, station, position, status quo and everything else are there to support the illusions of separation and all of its variants. In simple terms there is only the choice between Life and self, and what those saluting the flag of self have failed to take into account at this stage of planetary evolution is that life has had enough of the abuses of self, and is now taking control, whether that is apparent to the self or not at this moment in time. In time, and the not too distant future, it will become the most self-evident principle on the planet.

 

When the starting point of one’s approach to Equal Money and Equal Life is “What Is Best For All” then the entire universe rearranges itself to make the principles self-evident, as if they always existed as an integrated whole system, a complete interconnected fabric of life and existence that has never been without harmony, balance and equilibrium while still at the same time fully observant with eyes wide open to the horrors of separation and all of its spawn. Such a starting point is not about the lofty abstraction of positivity in ignorance of the realities on this planet, it is simply the firmly established stand that there is only one choice for how money and the systems thereof must ultimately be applied, and that is to do what is best for all. In such context, Life is seen as a fluid continuity that is in communion with all of existence, and every part contains the template of the whole and the whole is seen in every part. In this, the starting point is to stand as Life; to take the stand within and as oneself as Life means that one cannot do anything that is not fundamentally based on the sound principle of what is best for all life in all expressions and all manifestations. Life as what is best for all is based on correspondence, which is simply the ability to respond as the equal and parallel coefficient of every other expression of life, to respond as co-equal to all other forms of life, to nurture every iota of life as one would one’s own breath, and the in breath and out breath of one’s own respiration, as re-spiriting, is the inspiration and out spiration of life as spirit as one and equal to every and all living expressions.

 

When one takes a stand for Life, it is a self-directive state of being that establishes an implacable position that will not be swayed and cannot be persuaded from that position no matter what may come at it. All time and space cannot persuade one so situated to rescind the commitment, and such a stand for Life will inevitably force all of existence to rearrange itself to conform to the intent of such a stand for the principle of what is best for all. To the self-focused and self-interested such a stand is madness and has no logic, because the starting point of such is that if it does not serve self in its self-fulfilling gratification, then it has no meaning and has no value. The self-interested cannot even fathom such a stand for Life because there is no instant gratification and there is therefore no value to such a one.
The self-interested character that resides, in one variation or another, in almost the entire planetary population knows only one principle, so succinctly expressed in the statement “What’s in it for me?” It is like a universal radio station tuned to WIIFM, and the pain, suffering, agony, pleading, misery, torment and convulsions of the world and its population are like distant static that are so effectively tuned out by that finely honed instrument of self-adulation and ego-maniacal madness known as the self, singing blithely “I, Me, Mine…I, Me, Mine…I, Me, Mine….” as the world descends into entropic annihilation. “Are you mad?” proclaims the self-interested adherent when presented with the concept of “The Greater Good” because such a one cannot even begin to understand that there is anything outside of itself worthy of its attention. Their starting point as well as every other point along the timeline of their existence is always and forever centered on self, so such concepts as a global economic and monetary system based on the sanctity of Life, the honoring of all beings and the exaltation of the life force in every plant, animal, human, forest, ocean, river, field and ecosystem cannot be fathomed and never given credence. Conversely, a system in which every action is within dynamic equilibrium with all beings and all existence so that Life itself is forever regenerative, equally manifesting what is best for all beings, reciprocally and mutually beneficial to every form and function, and eternally sustainable, is as natural as the first breath of a new born baby to one that stands for the principles of Equal Money and Equal Life for All.

 

The self-interested starting point can only hear the word “Money” in the phrase “Equal Money” and cannot comprehend that such a word as “equal” has anything to do with money. Money to the self-interested is the beginning, middle and end of all existence. It is not a means to an end, it is the end itself. The self-interested worship at the altar of money and never give it a second thought, never understanding that every dollar that passes through their pockets and accounts is attached to someone, some where, that must service a debt, toil in the fields, labor in the factories and deliver the goods that their self-indulgent lives may be supported and sustained on the blood, sweat and tears of millions whose bones pave the way to an imaginary heaven so that the privileged few might easily enter such a promised land. The self-interested do not even know that the word money itself is derived from the name of an ancient moon goddess (“Mon”) that has woven her lunar spell over countless generations so that their very minds are wrapped and enraptured as nothing less than the lunatic fringe of a world gone mad, driving the teaming masses to commit the unspeakable and heinous acts and assaults on Life now taken for granted as if the end point of this madness is the way it is, the way it has always been and the way it will forever be. Such phrasing as “It’s to Die For” and “I will kill to have that new car” are taken as a given, as natural, as the rallying call of the self-interested, thereby establishing their starting point as death, violence and destruction just to fulfill that one last desire before the closing of the last curtain over the stage of all life, to die for one last pleasure, to kill for that one last prize.

 

Therefore, one must start with the logical question: “What is my starting point?” How does one approach the question of Equal Money as a direct expression and manifestation of an Equal Life for all? Does one, in fact, start from the point of recognizing that every thing in existence is standing as Life itself, for everything has a life force, and that life force is equal in all things. But, you say, rocks do not have life force. To which the proper response is, oh but yes they do. They stand equal as the manifestation of Life in every atom of their substance, that stands equal with magnetism and electrical current that flows throughout their molecular bodies, and from the rocks comes the soil and in the soil exist the teaming masses of microorganisms that are essential for every plant, animal and human to stand in their life as the physical embodiment that they are. When Life is seen from the starting point of an inextricable web of creation that is wholly interdependent on every other living thing, just as the systems of man have created a global system that everyone is completely dependent upon as a quantum whole, then the starting point begins to become clear as that which holds and sustains Life in all things, in all creatures and in all of manifest existence. And every other thing, every seeming inanimate expression of Life, when looked upon in and as part of this inextricable fabric of Life as a quantum whole, can and will be seen, if the starting point is Life as one and equal, as part of the whole, both dependent and interdependent for its life, life force and existence, as standing in oneness and equality with all Life.

 

So what does it mean “to stand” for Life and “to stand” for oneness and equality? It means simply that one chooses as a self-directive principle to make Life and what is best for all as the central point from which all one’s life, actions, thoughts, feelings, emotions and intentions emerge. It means one stands for Life and cannot be moved from that position, as a commitment of one’s being beyond time and space, as a holding point and station that will not ever again accept or allow that which is not best for all or in support of Life. From such a starting point, everything that is not in support of Life, that is not properly founded on life-enhancing principles, shall, as by a force of nature, depart from one’s existence. If one takes that stand resolute and without equivocation, then all of Life and all of nature shall rearrange around oneself in correspondence with that stand; and when two or more stand for and as Life, together as one, Life is here in that co-equal commitment and co-resonant expression and the power and force of that commitment is expanded exponentially. In that stand and starting point, the mind cannot enter, because the mind by design will seek every angle, every perspective and every strategy to find fault in that stand and position. The mind as the starting point is designed to support separation and self-interest, and therefore, if the starting point of approach to the concept of Equal Money is one of the mind expressed as logic, economic models, mathematical equations or any other spawn of the mind, one can never see past the veils of illusion and deceit upon which such a starting point is premised.

 

To the mind of self-interest, the starting point of a forest is nothing more than a calculation of board feet, bonds and capital, corporate equity and the rest of it; to one who stands as Life in equality, the forest is a living community with infinite variety, infinite grandeur and infinite expressions, seen as the whole forest consisting of and equal to every part and every being living in that expression of Life standing equal to the whole. As such, if a human enters that forest and standing as Equal Money and Equal Life utilizes the mind as a tool, the calculations of that self-directive being with and through their mind will analyze the use of the forest in a sustainable model. In such an approach, every living creature in the forest is taken into consideration, so that if harvesting timber is part of the intention, then it will be done with the life of the forest itself taken into consideration so that the forest is left both intact and sustainably continuing in its life force and every component part’s requirements sustained and maintained. This approach can be applied to any other system, whether it is a farm, a river, an ocean or a planet. Human needs can be met in such a model, and Life itself will direct the principle and the calculations and the considerations to sustain the whole, including humanity, within the context of preserving the part of every whole in its integrity and its right to Life. Standing as equality includes consideration for the future, so that the future needs of the system, at whatever scale, are part of the calculations, so that the sustainable model can exist here and now, and can continue in every moment here and now into eternity. Standing as Life is standing in and as eternity. Standing as Life is standing in and as Equal Station with all of Life, in its infinite variety of expression and manifestation, and in its eternal continuity throughout all of existence.

 

Standing as Equal Money means that one has taken the irrevocable stand as a commitment of one’s being to live in every breath as the principle that money is only a tool whose utility must always be applied to what is best for all and shall provide the means and methods whereby all of Life will be honored as equal in life force in the part and in the whole. Standing as Equal Money establishes a starting point that money is seen as a system that previous to such stand was created and applied within a context of competition, jealousy, fear, violence, destruction, proceeding as a veritable biblical plague that will devour everything in its path to perpetuate its existence as the god of humanity and a force that cannot be contained. Money in and as a principle of unequal station creates hierarchy, posits reality on seemingly immutable laws of lack and limitation, in which some will have and some (read most) will have not. The inevitable equation of money premised on unequal station is that some have the so-called divine right to hoard and accumulate wealth to be applied only for the glorification of self to the detriment of all of Life as a whole. This, of course, equates to the love of money, where in such an equation this so-called love is nothing more than the penultimate expression of self-aggrandizement, self-interest and self-adulation, all of which is, in fact, nothing more than the inversely proportionate expression of self-loathing, self-degeneracy and self-abnegation.

 

What those in such a station at this point in time do not see, realize or understand, is that money as a force has now taken control of all of the systems previously created to support and sustain it, and that force is one of pure unadulterated self-interest equal to the negation of Life, which can only be defined as a reverse reflection of LIVE, thus as EVIL, and that it is now commenced on the process of consumption of all in its path, including those previous masters of money who perceived and believed themselves destined to own and control all of Life and all of this world. All who insist that money in support of self-interest is an eternal and never ending ride shall one day soon wake up to the sober realization that they are one and equal to that which they support and have become. Therefore, those in support of money in any manifestation of inequality, where the few have much and the many have none, shall be increasingly faced with nothing left but themselves and as themselves they will be sorely pressed to face all the consequences that ensued from such a starting point. To those it can only be said to consider the possibility that at some point in time, somewhere, some when, somehow, Life finally has had enough. Now Life, as the most powerful force in all of existence, has begun the slow and steadily increasing reversal of the game whereby only Life as an Equal Station, as an Equal Starting Point, will inexorably have the final say in the matter. And the beginning point of such a say is in fact matter itself, as matter derived from mater, the material matrix from whence life emerges, the mother of all here in the physical, not in some ephemeral dream posited as heaven in some non-existent future, but right here, right now, whether as Life in the microcosm where the microbial expression shall overtake mankind’s ignorance of Life itself in its use of drugs, antibiotics, chemicals, poisons and genetically modified organisms, or in the macrocosmic scale of weather and planetary ecosystems that shall, if necessary, remove the offending apostates who think they can play god and own and control Life itself. All the money in their self-contained delusions of grandeur will never buy Life and will never again buy anyone a first class ticket to heaven. Get real, get with Life, or pay the consequences when you must, inevitably, face yourself and only yourself in the end. And do not delude yourself any longer, for you do so now at your own peril. The beginning of the end has already begun.
Life is now in control.

 

Life can and will rearrange the system of money to serve Life, and those clinging to money as their god and their central starting point of self-interest, will find that they are beginning to lose their grip. Indeed, they are already finding this to be the fact. All of Heaven now stands as equal to Life; before the maxim as above, so below was literally true, and therefore, the hierarchical, unequal structure of Earth in its monetary system of life-negation was indeed how Heaven was arrayed. But a doorway was finally opened between Earth and Heaven, and the infinite separation that had allowed the previous system to be created, to grow and thrive, was suddenly dissolved forever. Those in the hierarchy of Heaven, in which control and enslavement equal to that seen here on the Earth, had suddenly become aware of the situation, and they took the stand – finally – to serve Life. Now, those who previously had been assured their destiny as masters of the universe here on Earth, no longer have the support of a stratified dimensional Heaven that supported their stations as the seeming masters of Life. Suddenly, and irrevocably, all in Heaven came together as one, equal with and as Life, walking a process to face themselves, to forgive themselves and to commit themselves to what was best for all, best for Life.

 

The stand for Life, with the starting point of asking the question with every action: “Is this Best for ALL?,” requires that one must always start with and stand on the principle of self-honesty. When one fills a car with gasoline and uses that gasoline to convey oneself to a place for self-indulgent purposes, does one honestly stand with the principle that the price paid for a gallon of gas does not come close to paying the full price in all of its consequences for all such self-indulgent acts? When one drives a car to work to make money in an industry that negates Life, that destroys Life, that contributes to the annihilation of species, of ecosystems, or the planet as a whole, can one truly face oneself in self-honesty and avoid the fact that in consequence there shall be a significant price to pay for that gallon of gas, that day’s events, or that job, or that transaction, that corporation or that nation? Can we as a whole, as humanity, stand in true self-honesty and view the condition of this world and the condition of a large portion of humanity and say the current system of money and politics and religion, the triumvirate gods of most who refer to themselves as human, and say that this system is what works for all and is best for all?

 

Can you who are reading this essay stand and look at yourself in the mirror and see in yourself a mother clutching her starving child to her withered breast bereft of nourishment and blithely just discard that living child to the trash heap of history and grind her bones to build more castles and citadels designed to protect and defend the sanctimonious temples of this world; can you continue believing that in ten thousand years of more of the same, such bones of countless starving children shall turn to limestone and become the marbled pillars of the moneyed institutions in some future world in which such money stands as god of existence and all bow down to it and pray for relief to be disbursed like rolls of copper pennies. Can you in unabashed self-honesty look yourself in the eye and see yourself standing one and equal in the body of a wretched soul who must grovel in the trash heaps of this world to scratch out a meager subsistence of life, to stand equal to the children having to sleep loveless and cold in the discarded corners of every city, to stand equal to the battered women as they endure the relentless onslaught of violent and impotent men made so by a soulless society that cares naught for their existence save for how their life force can be forcibly extracted to energize the neon lights of this phantasmal illusion that knows nothing of real Life? Do you ever ask yourself what was that bump in the road that momentarily disturbed your air conditioned limousine ride through the perfumed corridors of your mind, and listen for the answer that says it was the discarded bodies of a billion hungry men, women and children that you have built your empires upon or perhaps the countless piles of bones littered throughout your history of neglect, contempt, and disdain for such lesser beings not worthy to eat the few crumbs that fall from your sumptuous banquet table? Do you really think the incantation of the priest will absolve you of personal responsibility as you pass from your deathbed into the beyond, or perhaps do you ever consider the possibility that now that Heaven walks equal as one with Life, you will only be met with the reflection of your own starting point and you must walk every moment of it with full awareness of every deed you have done and every consequence you have spawned?

 

It has been said as if eternally true that there are only two things that are certain in life: death and taxes, yet now, there is really only one thing that is certain, and that is that in death one will inexorably have to face oneself. At that moment there will be only one question: “What was your starting point when given for consideration the concept of Equal Money as a new system to replace the old, one in which all things are constructed to serve every aspect of Life, every being and every thing?” Was it “What is best for all,” or was it “What’s in it for me?” Was it “How Can I Serve Life?” or was it “Who Will Serve Me?”

 

Equal Money has nothing to do with money, for money does not exist. Money is simply the totality and reflection of humanity in its current relationship to life, which is a system on automatic drive that is self-perpetuating, parasitic in its total expression, and harvesting the substance of the life force of all of humanity without regard to the consequences. Today money serves the ego and the illusion of false prosperity and the abject denial that things are seriously wrong in this world. Today money is god, for both the godly and the godless alike; all worship at its altar and pray to its deified visage in their minds. It is not a pathway to Life as best for all, but only for what serves them and them alone. When the starting point of anyone upon hearing the phrase Equal Money is that which is best only for themselves, they only hear their own denial and the collective din of humanity in its mass consensus hallucination that all is right in the universe. All is not right in the universe, yet all can be made right. We need only commit to and stand for the concept of Equal Life for all, commit to and stand for the principle of prosperity and abundance for everyone, commit to and stand for the starting point that all children go to sleep at night in a warm bed, with furry toys tucked in beside them, with warm bellies filled with nourishment, with all men and women standing together in joie de vive, a joy for life born from the soil and substance of their lives in harmony with all other Life, standing firm and implacable in the realization and understanding that by standing for Life they stand with and as all of existence.

 

So in the end there is only one choice, death and annihilation, or Life and eternal vitality for all. True love can only exist within the balance and harmony of equal station for all, which means simply that all can stand in their own lives equally, that all fundamental rights of existence that one would want for oneself and one’s family are equally available to all. In such a paradigm, money automatically becomes an equal equation that is utilized for fulfilling the requirements of Life as best for all. It can happen in an instant breath for anyone, it simply requires a paradigm shift in a quantum moment, to take the stand for Life, to realize that Life in correspondence with Life is what true love consists of and exists as, and to realize that all substance here in the physical is the very fabric of Life itself. To deny any other being the full compliment of joyful existence in the full vitality of Life is to deny oneself the very same, for we are each as to and unto each other the mirror reflection of ourselves, and in fact, we are each other as we are Life as a whole. We only have to wake up from our self-induced nightmare and take a stand against the perpetuation of the illusions of separation within and as the abstractions of the mind, which have driven us to the very precipice of madness and precariously close to the imminent tipping point towards irreversible planetary ecocide. But the hour is getting late; it is very late, indeed.

 

ALL Equality is WITHIN the ESSENCE of LIFE itself,
From which All Form Emerges;
When this is not recognized and understood,
A separation occurs where No Joy is Ever Possible.[1]

 

There are many here among us, who feel that Life is but a joke;
But you and I, we’ve been through that, and that is not our fate;
So let us not talk falsely now, the hour is getting late![2]

 

 

[1] Bernard Poolman, Creation’s Journey to Life, Day 174
http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/10/day-174-after-death-communication-part.html
[2] Bob Dylan, All Along the Watchtower

 


291. First Learn to Love thy Thyself

There’s one condition that we must learn in order to make an Equality System function, and that is learning to serve all, and this is not in a subservient position, but as an actual process of redefining the word we’ve worked with in the past blogs, learning how to understand that within a giving and receiving condition there will be no need to place particular different values onto people according to ‘what they do’ and create relationships of convenience, but instead learn how to appreciate everyone’s work in equality, because such equal appreciation and value toward everyone’s contribution is what makes a community/ society thrive.  And what a better way to do this than establishing an economical system wherein no matter what work you do, you’ll get enough to live in dignity, because you’ll receive equal profit share, ensuring that we all get a piece of the cake and no one is left behind.

Continuing from:

For context on redefining capitalism, read: Day 180: The Word ‘Capitalism’ in ‘Equal Money Capitalism Redefined

 

If we take the example of ‘self-sufficient communities,’ even if they are living in a belief of ‘being outside of the system,’ they do have certain benefits that most of the people in our current contemporary ‘financial capitals’ lack, which is the sense of Neighborism and within this, the way we give and receive our own work means that there is no money-value factor determining ‘how I feel’ about my work, but instead it becomes the who I am as a living participant in a certain community/ environment, directing oneself to do the work one decides to do that is supportive and required to make this system sustainable, and be remunerated in equal manner. This is what determines the real value and outcome as a physical contribution to the sustainability and betterment of society. People will stop hating each other, but instead remove the barrier money has placed between each other and learn to value the reality of who we are and what we do in reciprocity.

 

For example, Love is an energetic experience in the mind, people say ‘Do things with love and love will come back to you tenfold’ but this is absolutely conditional in order to ‘make myself feel loved’ which is only at an individual level without considering how, if I have no money to do/contribute, if I have no opportunity to ‘give such love,’ then my feelings and mind experience will be futile. Hence, money is a realistic way to give such love through giving access to the means, the education, the tools, the time and the available space to develop ourselves as co-participants in society, and collaborating in that which we enjoy doing or would like to develop our skills further in. Currently, many people would not be washing cars, toilettes, working in jails, prostitution, McJobs, mobs, selling drugs, selling useless products on the streets and well, virtually any of our current fast-production of junk companies and job positions that do not dignify human life at all, but rather underestimate it, reducing it to the level of ‘cheap labor’ to produce the most profit for a few. We all realize how this single fact of ‘how things are’ affects our psychological experience on a day to day basis, which is why the rate of suicides is every increasing, the use of alcohol, drugs, and anything else that can be bought with Money that they hardly earn through hard work. What a perfect system it is for those that benefit the most from it, giving money and then getting it back through the consumption and purchasing of products that they also own.

 

If we want to end this dread-world, there is a definitive action that must take place. If we truly want to give love to others, we have to grant each other equal access to that which enables our well being, our means to be productive, secure and gentle with each other when there’s no more ‘fight for survival,’ and dogs stops eating the world, and that’s Money.

 

Maybe you have experienced yourself the same way I have, wherein I see people’s tedious, repetitive jobs and see how I am directly responsible for what they’re doing and experiencing. An example, there’s people in the corner shop that stand there from 9 am till 10 pm. For me to be able to go there at whatever time I want to get my stuff, they require to be there the whole time, sure they take shifts, but I can tell that it is a family business and these guys that are around my age are probably not going to any school/ education because of having to work, furthermore they can be using weed to be able to withstand spending their time behind the counter the whole time. This can even be considered a decent job, we can go further to people that have to work 12 hours a day to make little to nothing to live, and their work enables me to wear clothes, have my computer, my shoes and have a pile of stuff around me that I proudly bought with my money, having No idea whose life is involved in it.

 

The same with the people that takes care of harvesting and producing food – what or who decided that some would have to be Bound to such jobs with no other alternative and me having the ability to ‘freely choose what I want to do’? Within this premise, how can we deny the responsibility we hold toward every person’s condition in this world, even those that I am not ‘benefitting from’ obviously, like people that starve and have no chance to get ‘into the system,’ their direct exclusion has to do with having to shorten the possibilities of a ‘good life’ for only a minority of people.

 

No matter how much Love I could ‘feel’ for the people that suffer, I won’t manifest a steady job that enables them to live.  Here we can see how it’s mostly self interest to FEEL Love myself as it is never even about ‘them’ but the idea that I create within me of ‘giving love’ and as such creating any form of difference for them, is it, really?

 

So, Loving Thy Neighbor as Thyself in an Equality System is giving to each other what we want for ourselves, and that’s linked to the quality of goods and services that we can create within the consideration that No One will be enslaved to produce heaven for us, we All will be contributing on equal manner doing what we are most glad and prone to do and develop  our skills in. This is then a real process of learning how to Love thy Neighbor as Thyself  and for that, we first have to Begin with ourselves and ponder: What’s best for me that can be applied to everyone equally? What kind of work/skill/occupation can I see that I would be most productive and supportive at? This is where we give ourselves a real carte blanche to Design and Create the way that we can practically envision ourselves in a future where everyone has equal real opportunity to live in dignity, and a future that begins with ourselves of course, redefining what we do currently, looking at Why we do it, what motivates us and what we could instead do if we all support a new system wherein the disposition of money is not only left in profitable businesses that have no human-dignity impressed on them and are only existent because of sheer quick profit. That will cease to exist, you might agree that we’re only allowing that because we’ve seen ourselves as separate from and not responsible for making the decision of what we eat, what we work on, the type of activities that we support and the type of products that we produce and consume.

 

Who else but ourselves can decide what’s best for all through a consensus of making an agreement to care for each other as equals, learn how to Self Forgive the lack of condescendence, the apathy, the negligence and deliberate ignorance to the current situation billions of people are going through around the world, as a result of a minority having the ‘great life’ without realizing that as long as there’s one single person without a job opportunity, without an activity that allows them to fend for themselves and their family, we are ostracizing them into oblivion, which means: misery , suffering and ultimately, death. We have the power to decide what’s best for all, and no this is not just ‘thinking positive,’ this is practically looking at recognizing that the unthinkable is possible if we place our hands at a political level to change the way things work around in this world.

This begins by letting go of the flimsy ideals that love and good will represent and actually come to embody such words in practical and tangible solutions, which implies supporting the implementation of the Equality system that will enable Life to be lived in equality. This begins by walking an individual process wherein we Learn how to Love ourselves first, how to become living beings that take self responsibility for our lives, our minds, our words, deeds and actions and as such, correct ourselves to be and become a living example of what it is to value Life in equality which means obviously redefining our participation and our starting point of living here, not to ‘be or become’ more than what we already are, but learning how to support, care and enjoy each other as equals, learning how to make of money a means/ a tool to establish a dignified living condition instead of making it a goal and an end in itself.

 

 

Educate yourself on Equal Money Capitalism 

Day 163: Equal Money Capitalism – Redefining Profit
    • Overtime / Free Time
      • Holidays
        • Holidays and Children
    • What is Profit-Share?
        • Equalizing Wages – Cooperation among Corporations

       

      Day 164: Equal Money Capitalism – Preparing the Road for Change
        • Menial Tasks
        • Unemployment / Full Employment

         

        Day 165: Equal Profit Share and Equal Money Capitalism

        • Multiple Profit Shares?
        • Multiple Jobs?

        Day 168: The Future of Integrity with Equal Money Capitalism

        • Services vs. Goods
        • How to Ensure Full Employment

        Day 178: Zuma says to benefactors: “Everything you touch will multiply” – EMC will End Corruption


        • Equal Income / Equal Value

         

        Equal Money For All Equals

         

        Further Support:

         

         

        Blogs:

         

        Vlog:

        Law of Attraction is Based on Memory

         

        Interviews:

        282. What do Spirituality and War have in Common?

        When one speaks about the truth of ourselves which is describing the reality we live in/witness every day and use basic facts like children being maimed and have their limbs blown off by bombs because of a war that was founded upon a seemingly ‘positive thing’ such as ‘eradicating terrorism’ –or whatever the final reason is kept to be – and justifying it with things like defending a nation from external evil, this explanation is then received as a radically Negative message. However this comes from people that would rather pray or indulge in 24/7 with Positive thinking and mass distractions – or mass destruction by seeking personal satisfaction and pursuit of happiness, hooked on so many ubiquitous drugs that have lead people to bankruptcy, losing all their functional relationships, ending up living in tents and cars managing to panhandle just to maintain an addiction.

        What’s all of this? an indication of fear: fear of facing ourselves as the mind that we are and have become, that’s what generates crisis: allowing our indecision and irresponsibility to build up to such an extent that we get angry at the world instead of facing ourselves first and this is the origin of protests/rebellion, and its counter part where people would rather seek for peace of mind through attracting all the positive to your life while fearing to see this reality of ourselves that’s becoming to hard to overlook. It’s like running away from ourselves, really.

         

        Why would we require positivity/ spirituality movements/ new age exist? Because the negative is what has always prevailed in our society, no matter what –that should already be an indication of how that which is ‘effortless’ such as seeking for our personal benefit, our self interest and competing to ‘win’ at all times seems like a natural instinct for the majority of beings, isn’t it? Hence when such desire is not fulfilled because of the physical reality as our world demonstrating to us our creation as the direct outflow of irrational thinking manifested as our world-system, we turn to love and light and positivity to hide from it, because we can’t just  bear the fact that we are in fact our own worst nightmare and enemy. And yes, this is what creates Fear, the Fear to face ourselves as what we have become.

        People would rather pray for the ‘fallen ones’ in war before questioning why does war even exist in the first place, what is ‘in it’ for us to accept war as part of a country’s ‘defense tactics’ justified by the law of ‘an eye for an eye’ as retaliation to purify one’s “honor – this is the principle of war: masking real evil with noble intentions, creating deliberate occupations that are not meant to ‘fight terror’ but rather get a country’s ‘black gold’ that happens to be the motor of our current unsustainable lifestyle that we seek to improve through obtaining more money and more positive thinking – full circle of consumerism sanctified as holy freedom rights.

         

         

         

        You drop out and tune in to the TV god that promotes several ways to free yourself, like buying lots of stuff you don’t really need, informing yourself about histories being told by those that would want to keep a certain order of this world and many spawns of religion in the form of spirituality programs and new age thinking that’s fed on a constant basis for massive indoctrination, supporting the surrendering to the here now moment of people that will feel like they’ve finally won a battle against the mind! Yet this is the perfect drug in fact, one so addictive that is hard to refuse and even harder to quit because it is not even considered as something harmful and detrimental to one’s common sensical reasoning and sanity: love, light, beautiful pictures and stories that keep us well contained in a parallel reality where no actual facts exist, where all the ‘ugliness’ of the world is covered up and justified with further things like god being wise and knowing why he would make some deliberately people left to suffer, and not even dare to question god’s word even if it means that we would be forever damned to see others starve while those with money can be thankful for our joyous lucky ride in life. Not a care, not a dare about how their system is being created, legalized and implemented by a set of deliberate flawed laws wherein people have not yet realized the actual contract one is endowed with from the moment of birth: to be a slave  to a corporation called nation that competes with other corporations/nations to make the most profit in this corporate-driven world – citizens are no longer humans with ‘god given rights’ but  employees with limited access to food, water, shelter,  drugs and weapons supplied to keep everyone feeling like there’s some freedom and liberty, feeling all happy and self righteous. with a moment of ‘entertainment’ while feeling safe at home. Hell yeah.

         

        How have we come to accept our world as is and how have we come to invest our time, effort and resources  to disguise the massive totalitarian control that’s taking place. The charismatic leader is, unfortunately, not going to be someone like the usual fascist clichés imposing fear through  energetic personalities, but quite the opposite: it won’t be one single person, it won’t be perceived as ‘negative’ and it won’t seem angry – it is an ideology, it spreads like a feel-good drug that is easily indulged to by your own acceptance and allowance of thoughts that lead you to experiences that make you feel ‘good’ inside your mind and it will be presented as the ultimate remedy for a troubled angry hopeless human mind: Positivity. And yes, unfortunately in can only work if you have enough money to feed yourself to use up that energy to generate all the positive thoughts that we are so ignorant about in terms of what are the effects thinking and imagining create in this world – and not outside, as that is once again, our truth – but in the inside as in consuming our own living flesh to power up our own new-clear mind plant that we run inadvertently without ever pondering what the effects are of the words in our reality as building blocks of our creation.

         

        Hence we go back to square 1: why would we require wars to get someone else’s resources through violent (vile-ends) means if we could instead establish a world system wherein resources are equally given and received?

        Power requires abuse and the means to obtain it have been justified –we’ve done the same when seeking spirituality/ benevolence and our ‘prosperity’ that is composed and formed by a plethora of articles and services made and given by people that have no option but to work in such demeaning jobs with no other alternative.

         

        In terms of war, it should be absolute common sensical reasoning that you cannot fight fire with fire and fighting terror with war is just that –would this prove that the level of intelligence and critical reasoning has been deliberately lowered in order to maintain an entire world driven by money, being busy seeking happiness through money that buys the sex, booze, drugs and a self-righteous superior position to ensure that there are always those that are enslaved to maintain the ‘life of the fortunate riches’ that are, at the same time, also consumed as an entertainment product that is bought/paid by those that live such menial lives that seek for a bit of ‘escapism’ from the dread of working to die and what do you get? TV and the most trivial entertainment that ensures people remain in this endless loop of barely making a living and using the little free time left to run the well known course of the seeking-for-something loop of god, sex, money, drugs, partying, remaining in isolation or openly hating each other to create excuses outside of ourselves as points to blame or get easily annoyed by, to then justify the personal desire for ‘inner peace’ through positivity or retaliation through war or killing your noisy neighbor.

          This is how the inner-demons are fought with light/love/positivity, not realizing that light also runs its course and cannot be sustained forever, just like ourselves in this world: what’s the point in going through an entire lifetime of endless battles within and without of ourselves? Is this what we are here for? I would say this is what we have created ourselves to exist for, which is different: we decide at all times what we do and how we live.

         

        The inherent self-experience that we believe we just can’t get rid of-hence turning to love and spirituality as a cure, is definitively addictive pattern based on the lack of understanding how our mind works/operates, because just like the analogy of dark and light: the dark does not require batteries to exist, and the light does and as such, just like our oil that’s keeping our current ‘lifestyles’ in place, it will also come to a dead end in a not so far away future that’s already here.

         

        What will run out first? Oil or Hope? I would like Hope to be the answer to this question, so that practical living measures are taken immediately and stop the inaction,  because we are in fact aware of what we are generating and perpetuating every single day and we realize one thing: we know the problem because we are it, we just haven’t realized to what urgency a solution is required to be in place so that we can all stop battling ourselves inside seeking for some comfort in the light that lead us to wage wars to  power/ sustain such light/positive/  progressive self experience, which is what we are currently seeing as all the beautiful pictures of what a wonderful lifestyle we can have if we just dare ourselves to dream and think positive. Nevermind the millions abroad fighting for a war they believe is a ‘higher purpose’ for a godly-blessed nation, nevermind those that work as slaves to produce such wonderful life.

         

        Investigate Desteni to understand the inherent fear that we seek to mask and cope with by seeking spirituality, the same way that in fear we created money to create control and abuse – Equal Money Capitalism is the proposal to finally stop the massive destruction and abuse that is imposed when granting each other’s ‘rights’ in the name of self defense, because there will be nothing to ‘defend ourselves from,’ because fear will be understood and stopped within the understanding that we can only exist in fear when disregarding all parts of ourselves as equals.

        This is a practical common sensical solution that will stop people from hoping and praying and instead use the available support to develop a real sense of physical living of cooperation and mutual regard in equality. No more will the sugar-fueled addiction of spirituality and love armed with righteous guns exist. Will this be a hard one to ‘give up’ here? Will common sense prevail after all?

        Let’s find out – I dare you

         

        The answer to the title of this blog is:

        Spiritual Money

         

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