Tag Archives: mental disorder

383. To Forget to Self-Forgive

First Cousin Once Removed Preview (HBO Documentary Films) (2012) by Alan Berliner

Remember to Forget’ were the words chosen by a poet with Alzheimer as his last statement to the potential million viewers of the documentary ‘First cousin once removed’ by Alan Berliner, which depicts his life in his last months of living with this mental condition, and it is interesting that the words ‘For-Get’ and ‘For-Give’ can be a bit similar, but there’s a world of difference between both, where the act of merely ‘wanting to forget’ can lead us to experience something like Alzheimer, in an attempt to let go of the memories, the identity, the past, the load of experiences with which we created and inflicted the most trauma/harm/abuse within ourselves, and so wanting to forget as a way to ‘cope with the past,’ and that’s how such forced ‘eraser’ move in the mind can lead to this memory-loss problem.

 

I enjoyed this documentary, it’s very well made and I recommend it to see first hand what Alzheimer is like, and the reasons that usually lead to it, along with the genetic disposition that can exist – which as we now understand how the memories of those that have gone before us are integrated within/as ourselves as the mind in the womb, as the information we have ‘pre-loaded’ within us as the ‘sins of the fathers’ – then it makes sense that Alzheimer can ‘run in the family’ as a trait developed to want to forget about one’s deeds, one’s traumatic past, one’s wrong-doings and essentially take the forced road to a ‘way out’ of it all, a way to not face one’s inner demons.

 

The documentary could’ve had a subtitle – in the words of the film’s director – a Poets’ Alzheimer, since the documentary is about the ‘first cousin once removed’ from the director of this film who happened to be a poet, a writer, a translator, a man of ‘great achievements’ only to get to the last days of his life forgetting about it all, and it for sure brings us back to this point of our Journey To Life and the route to Nothingness. Edwin Honig – the protagonist of this documentary – gets to such ‘nothingness’ though not in a self-aware and self-directive manner to it and this is what I’d like to discuss here because it doesn’t make sense to get to this point of ‘Nothingness’ as in remembering – apparently – nothing through simply deciding to block the memory, to forget.

 

The things that Edwin could vividly recall – at times, when it seemed he wasn’t unconsciously deliberately ‘wanting to forget’ – were traumatic moments in his life: being blamed for his brother’s death when he was a child, having been to the army and shooting others, and maybe some family member he was fond of, but that was it. He is shown recordings with traces of the achievements throughout his life explained by himself at an earlier stage in his life, all his books, his poems, his translations of some ‘great writers,’ and so forth, and it was quite amusing to see how he would watch these recordings of himself explaining all his studies, his achievements and saying something in the lines of ‘He’s trying too hard to be someone’ and so yes, this is most of the things we put all our time and effort to, to build up the idea of ‘who we are’ as our mind, our ego – not realizing that life is not memories and how when one has no more memories to ‘hold on to’ then all of these lifetime achievements are reduced to nothing but pretentious additions we identify ourselves as, which can be later on absolutely forgotten and ultimately end up at death. Edwin had kept journals on a daily basis for over 50 years, so he also tried too hard to remember, only to end up forgetting it all. It seems like an ‘overload’ of too many memories, too many things he wanted to keep but eventually forget that he ended up ‘forgetting it all.’

 

I liked the fact that at some point, due to being asked many questions by the documentary maker (his cousin) he would just ask him to be forgotten, to not exist for some days, weeks, months and so in a way it could be him realizing that he was just telling his-story, the tale we all become as a bunch of memories we then believe is ‘all we are’ which is absolutely limited. We have reduced ourselves to become a curriculum, a data base with memories, experiences, feelings, the ideas we believe others have about ourselves, the feelings and constructs we impose onto reality, our entire ego that we accumulate throughout time, and how when we eventually ‘want to forget’ due to the emotional load that it creates within us, maybe that’s when Alzheimer emerges as an absolute ‘shutdown’ of these memories, which I interpret as a decision to Not Forgive, but Only Forget.

 

Dullness

 

Alzheimer seems to be the result of Forgetting to Forgive, but not only ‘Forgive’ in itself, but to Self-Forgive. It’s interesting that Edwin hadn’t been such a good father after all and how his ‘children’ – now grown up males – hold a grudge against him due to what he would do to them, which they interpreted as abusive, as him being an a*hole. And so, Edwin could not remember at all that he had children/sons, and even when the time comes for one of them to visit him, he shows exhaustion, maybe because memories would come back and so the load of remorse, guilt, the entire emotional experience created throughout time could come back, and so he’s left alone. Alzheimer seems to be a way to evade reality, to evade looking at one’s demons and learning how to self-forgive ourselves for it all, a way to escape from facing self-responsibility and as such wanting to ‘put memories down’ not realizing that the level and extent to which we are tied to as our memories and our mind cannot be ‘shut down’ or these ‘side effects’ emerge.

 

This is also another way to see how without walking this process of Self-Forgiveness to learn how to recognize our thoughts, words and deeds that could have caused ourselves inner-conflicts and struggles that we eventually lashed out onto others, affecting them and learn how to self-forgive ourselves for it all, bit by bit, word by word, and we only try and ‘forget it all’ causes an illness, because one is attempting to ‘get rid’ of the memories instead of actually understanding how we created such problems, how we participated in them, why, why did we allow it to become an emotional burden, who did we affect with our deeds too, what do we feel incapable of forgiving ourselves for that we instead choose to simply evade and ‘forget’?

 

And if we were able to remember who we have been from the beginning of our existence, we would have all gone through the same ‘deletion’ process as Alzheimer to go back to ‘ignorance is bliss’ mode, which is in fact what we do whenever we attempt to forget our past, our history and recreate the same abuse and harm because we don’t want to remember and take responsibility for our lives, our world as our creation and change the patterns for once and for all.

 

It’s interesting that one documentary that shows the actual nature of the memories left in a person with Alzheimer can shed more light than any scientific study attempting to understand the origin of it, which once again is also confirming what has been explained at Desteni in relation to Alzheimer Syndrome which I suggest to anyone to investigate and get rid of these ‘enigmas’ that still exist in humanity, while it’s already been 7 years of having the opportunity to learn about the totality of who we are as human beings, as preprogrammed mind consciousness systems that can create a short-circuit process in order to not have to confront one’s own inner demons all the time, creating things like Alzheimer or the usual anxiety, fears, phobias and general stress that we impose onto our physical body every time we are ‘living’-through-the-mind.

 

An aspect I enjoyed is seeing how Edwin only expressed appreciation for the expression of a child – the director’s son – because he was a child, expressing himself with music, in the moment, not questioning him about ‘who he was’ or who he could remember, but just being in the moment, which is also another point to consider about this ‘nothingness’ that we can all exist as, as a self-created result of learning how to self-forgive, to correct, to let go within self-responsibility and full awareness of choosing to be living in the moment – which is different from this form of Alzheimer’s ‘living in the moment’ as an accidental result of wanting to evade one’s memory, which is why in this case someone that doesn’t represent a ‘threat’ to one’s self-definition can become someone we enjoy too.

 

 

This documentary should also support with the realization that who we are and who we define ourselves to be is nothing else but a collection of memories and experiences that we build up as ‘who we are’ and we indeed put so much ‘effort’ onto it, without realizing that it is only the ‘who we are in the mind’ that we are valuing and accumulating as knowledge and information, while we forget about the words that we can live and become as an essence of ourselves – not the titles, not the money, not the recognition, not the studies, not the professions or definitions that others can give onto us – but the words we decide to live in full self-awareness. Just as the point we hear a lot about in Desteni on ‘stopping the mind,’ it doesn’t mean: forget about who you were and be ‘living in the here now moment’ absolutely oblivious of everything, as if one could simply ‘turn the page’ and have a blank one without any consequence. So if anything, this film depicts the consequences of not being able to cope with our mind, our memories, an entire life of wanting to ‘cherish all memories’ and the outcome when you realize the fiction you’ve become as a character and eventually just want to throw the character out of the window and remain as the flesh and bones we are… that’s what creates the consequence as a forced de-egofication process.

I am able to relate to the idea of wanting to cherish every moment as the ‘old me’ that was on my way to do that all the time, and having that mentality of wanting to be a writer someday that could use those memories to create more fictional characters through which I could live through as well, and I’m glad I stopped myself, which to myself as my ego it was the same as some form of egocide, because stopping ‘cherishing memories’ – even with the compulsion I had to be taking pictures all the time – I was on my way to fill memory cards and entire notebooks of my own personalities with no direction – which is also the type of writing I was doing before this process, using art as just another way to convolute the perception of who we are as human beings: point-less, self-referenced, self-interested beings seeking this something to ‘fill in the void’ with and ending up in some kind of nonsense with a life wasted in this perpetual ‘search’ which I now see that we all as human beings have, nothing else but the gloom created as the result of separating ourselves from who we really are as life, as the substance that unites us all as one and equal.

 

Today we discussed about this existential anguish in relation to ‘losing all hope to humanity’ not realizing that I was maybe on my way to creating yet another ‘disorder’ to simply evade facing reality – which we all do one way or another by creating any form of emotion or feeling to make the whole thing turn into a ‘me-myself-I’ experience rather than taking responsibility for the problems we create in our lives and this world and turn it only into a ‘concern’ – and how if I hadn’t discovered Desteni and the ability to Self-Forgive, I would have probably continued down the spiraling road of using art as a way to express this absolute ‘lostness’ that I experienced for great part of my life up to 6 years ago when everything started making sense.

 

All I can say is that it is quite a relief to no longer be drilling my mind with the usual existential-queries and ‘enigmas’ that used to also occupy my-time here, thinking about time, and death, and memories, and identity, and fictional characters, and this life as a dream and so forth… all of which has existed as part of our philosophy with no concrete realization to simply see the direct reality of it all: we have used our mind to divert our attention from reality, from the actual consequences and physical existence that we tend to cloud or ‘paint with other colors’ through thinking about reality, through ‘feeling’ or ‘becoming emotional’ about it and pondering these energetic flicks as ‘more’ than what life really is.

 

After the film ended, Alan Berliner had a Q&A session with the audience, and he ended up saying that ‘Memories are the glue to life’ and I couldn’t disagree more as this mentality is what has kept us since the beginning of our existence as human beings tied to a past that we then ‘choose to forget’ proving that we haven’t moved an iota from the very initial problems we were programmed with, just because we have accepted our mind to be ‘who we really are,’ forgetting or not even being aware of what Life really is, which is not and will never be knowledge and information, and memories. Just like in all our devices – memories are nothing but part of the system that enables us to function as clusters of space and time in a disk drive that sometimes gets full and overloaded and requires some ‘rebooting’ because there’s just ‘too much to info to handle,’ and that’s also what Alzheimer seems like.

 

Memories cannot be the ‘glue of life’ as they are only invisible bits of information we believe is who we are. Life doesn’t require a glue, life is not divided, life is all that is already here that we have separated ourselves from in every moment that we define ourselves as a picture, as an emotion, a thought, a feeling, a memory, all of it part of the masks that we craft and can end up driving us crazy if we continue to overlook the reality and simplicity of who we are here as breathing flesh and bones physical beings that have to now use our memory practically and constructively, to go self-forgiving each thought, word and deed that we’ve acted upon and created in order to ‘forget about who we are’ and as such, not take responsibility for who we are and have become. Look at this world, read the news, talk with people on the streets, look within yourself in your mind and see how this world is our reflection.

 

Learning how to Self-Forgive is the greatest gift one can give to oneself if one does not want to end up driving oneself absolutely insane, or mentally kaput for not having the courage to stand in the face of ourselves, of our past no matter how ‘bad it may seem or how ‘overwhelming’ the consequences of it already are, there is no other way but to stand up for it and face it. Self-Honesty takes Courage and that’s something one has to develop in order to not end up mentally ill due to wanting to forget. My suggestion is to then do this: learn how to Self-Forgive, Remember to Self-Forgive instead of compounding the inner turmoil and the cowardice to recognize who we are and have become, not only as individuals, but as humanity – and so, whenever we see ourselves feeling guilty, ashamed, embarrassed, overwhelmed by our past, our memories, our mind, it is that moment where instead of remaining in the victimization of the experience: we stand up, take a deep breath and decide to self-forgive the experience, the memory, the thought, the deeds and correct ourselves in the moment in the realization that no one did this to us but ourselves, and no one will ‘forgive us’ as there is no God, but ourselves, our own creators.

 

The one last mercy we can give to ourselves is Self Forgiveness, let’s use it and become physical living breathing beings that can stop pondering too much about what life, death, a thought or memories are and rather learn how to live in every moment of breath directing our lives to be and become an example of what we all know we can be when correcting all the mess of the past to stand as self-directive and self-honest individuals, always considering what is best for self and all as equals: no memory required but only as a remembrance of a past to never repeat again.

 

To learn more about Desteni’s perspective on Alzheimer and Memories:

 

To stop being defined only as a memory chip of emotions and feelings:

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228. Mental Disorders Hide us From Self Responsibility

 

Before even getting ourselves into any form of doubt about having a ‘mental disorder,’ one should realize that the current explanation any psychologist, psychiatrist, neurologists or any other form of physician can provide about how the mind works is limited to what the human eye/ mind can assess of itself. This means: it is as limited as our ability to see reality and how it actually functions, which lacks of any form of understanding in order to provide for solutions that can better the lives of all individuals equally. You require proof of of this? Look at this world, there’s our proof/ truth/ reality and it is certainly not working at its best at all.

This is how and why the Desteni Research over the past 6 years is of utmost importance to humanity in order to understand How the Mind actually Functions and what Consciousness in Fact Is. It is virtually playing god or saints to give some miraculous power these chemicals/ drugs and expect any form of supposed ‘mental disorder’ be cured while having absolutely NO idea of how such  perceived/called/named ‘disorder’ was created by the individual through all environmental influences/ exposure in the first place.

Continuing from:

 

As a recap, I have gone through a general perspective of how this drug culture is currently a multi-billion making market that exists within a very well regarded sector of our society which is, paradoxically enough, the health system. The problem is that this HELLth system is lacking any actual understanding of the human mind to in any way provide actual support for what’s been called ‘mental disorders’ of which we are quite familiar with since there is a constant bombardment within the media – and by psychiatrists themselves- to diagnose any person, including children and babies as young as 2 year olds, with disorders that they can give some prescription drug for and make a sustainable amount of profit from all the people that get literally hooked on legal drugs, and yes, that is legal as it is within the framework of the ‘health system’ and approved by so-called authorities at a governmental level. Lack of policies that care for life and only go for the money? Absolutely.

 

Where’s our responsibility?

This is as important as valuing your own life: there exist in no way a possibility for any form of drug to ‘cure you’ of that which You have created and programmed yourself within who you have accepted and allowed yourself to be and become as your mind in all its layers and systems. All of this is being explained within the interviews that explain the actual technology of the mind with absolute specificity to ensure that we, as humanity for the first time, get to actually KNOW what the hell is going on within our minds and how there is no actual ‘disease’ but only self created patterns, habits, coping and survival mechanisms to exist within a world wherein we learn how to define ‘who we are’ according to our mind only, who we are as our emotions and feelings, as out thoughts and internal conversations; within this, and once one realizes to what extent we have virtually absorbed our environment to accept it as ‘who we are,’ we are all collectively responsible for everything and everyone in this reality, because the moment I accepted that ‘I am my thoughts,’ I became subject to cultivating this who I am according to these thoughts that I actually imprinted, copied, transferred from my environment/ sphere of influence, my ‘education,’ that which surrounded me wherein if I would have been a feral kid living with wolves or cows, I would have Not developed the human-traits of identifying myself with thinking processes or developing my emotional and feeling bodies as we are taught to do so by our parents from the very first moment we are driven to be ‘entertained’ or ‘pull out a smile’ or being made ‘happy’ with plastic toys and colors, pictures, sounds and gestures that we get bombarded with while being barely able to discern our reality. All this world of constant stimulation is what we have accepted as ‘who we are’ as ‘what makes us feel good,’ and for that: we had to accept thoughts, feelings and emotions as the mind, as energy created by our acceptance of this entire energy-based system as ‘who we are.’ Where is the physical body within this? Nowhere. And what is created from not being able to obtain this positive feel-goodness? Mental instability/ disorders through our perceived lacked of that promoted ‘happiness’ as an actual state of being natural to the human being.

For more on this you can read:

210. Not Having Money Makes You Sad– but Why?
198. Wealth and Positivity a Synonym of Abuse «
209. Successful Living = Capitalist Brainwash «
115. Following our Dreams is Plain Delusional «

 

 

Getting Rid of the Mind = Getting Rid of the Problem?

A common belief there is within and while walking the Desteni material is ‘getting rid of the mind’ / getting rid of knowledge and information/ stop thinking, when it is not about that in itself: we are the mind, it is an integral part of ourselves and it would be as ludicrous as saying I am not my blood vessels – and this is due to how ingrained and intertwined the mind in fact exists within the physical body. Thus, what we are doing here is walking a process to Align ourselves as beings within our physical body to integrate ourselves within our physical bodies, living in physical common sense which does not require all the friction and conflict that the mind is always instigating as our thoughts, feelings and emotions that we have accepted and allowed as ‘who we are’ to keep us all well entertained ‘up there,’ while disregarding the actual mechanisms of how the mind works and What Powers such mind which is the physical substance, just like we extract the oil from the earth as substance to transform it into gas to be able to move around in our motorized vehicles. Same process – look at all the problems that exist in this world due to this process which I explained in more detail here: Day 2 – Running out of Oil «

 

The mind resources energy from the physical body to exist. And every time we accept the mind as who we are we consume ourselves which implies that this is the reason why our current system is entirely energy based. The Soul of Money series explains this precise relationship of the relationship between the mind and the physical as the economic model that we’ve implemented in our reality as our current capitalist system, and that analogy in itself should be taken into consideration by more analysts and professionals in terms of finding an economic solution to this world. We do have our own common sense being provided within the Economist’s Journey To Life  blog that provides all the necessary understanding and exposure of our current economy and how to practically transform into an equality based system.

 

Within this, it is to see that the moment we accept ourselves to be our mind’ we accept the entire system as it is – and this single aspect as a virtual ‘normalcy’ that we’re born into, is what we’ve used to keep us going nowhere but down the road of self destruction, because no one has ever questioned The Mind as who we are in the first place, not to mention the totality of how the mind functions as all that which we are only aware of at a conscious mind level only, which is only the tip of the iceberg of everything that the mind in fact really is and the extent to which everything we have ever been has only been a byproduct of this energetic-resourcing mechanism that the mind inflicts and imposes onto the physical body – is this a matter of coincidence? No, it is human engineering that is explained by the creators of the human physical body themselves and the races that came before the human being – for that, listen to the Reptilian Series and the Atlantean Series to get to understand what the relationship creation process entails – and no, it is not about ‘partnership relationships’ but definitions we created toward everything and everyone in our reality based on Energy.

 

 

So, is ‘Energy’ the bad guy then?

No, as everything that is Here in this existence is ourselves, it is the same as wanting to blame money for being evil in this world when it’s not ‘money’ in itself that’s the problem, but  Who We Are As that money which implies that the human nature – and for that matter – the existential nature of what we became from the moment we separated ourselves from our oneness and equality. This primordial ‘times’ explanation is walked through the series The Secret History of the Universe that tell the never-before known/ understood archives of our existence, books from the library of Alcyone that are being narrated/ translated by one of the only beings that had access to that information to reveal How the very first form-manifestations in existence existed-as and related to one another – and this is explained to the T in the following interview:

The Secret History of the Universe – Is Energy Life – Part 6

 

This is why responsibility resides within each one of us as there is no way ‘you’ could be out of this existential process and emerged out of ‘nowhere’ in this reality, this is how is plain delusional to believe we hold no responsibility toward ourselves, the world, each other, animals, and everything that is existent in our reality.

This is also why we are walking our individual process of writing, self forgiveness, self corrective application to understand How we have separated ourselves from our physical body, which is an expression that implies that: we accepted and allowed ourselves to define ‘who we are’ as individuals and toward each other according to a systematized version of life through energy, which is the mind, the mind works on energy which is a reduced awareness of substance which at the same time, is also a part of and what life is as there is nothing ‘left out’ within this existence from being part of ‘who we are.’ This is why we talk about equality as life, we are one and equal as part of this same existence,  each human being is existing as/ made of the same ‘fabric’ as everything and everyone else.

 

We had ignored the fact of how the mind worked and how it was in fact not the actuality of Living life in the physical, but reducing Life to a single set of energetic experiences assessed by all the layers of the mind in order to create an output of ‘who we are’ according to knowledge and information toward that part of reality/ person/ point we are looking at in reality, which means that we have always only lived through our minds, as energy – not as physical breathing beings that assess physicality by seeing direct – and Not through the perception of what we’ve become as the characters, personalities, knowledge and information as the mind. Yes, we were ‘unaware’ of how it all worked, BUT we cannot deny at all that we were ‘unaware’ of the consequences that are here in our face every single moment as our reality and what we’ve become when cultivating this personified version of ‘life’ at the expense of Life, which is again, at the expense of ourselves.

 

Thus the mind is who we are as what we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become – which is our responsibility. It is who we are because it represents all the relationships we  created within our processes of individualization, which is – in very basic terms – to imprint and assign energetic experiences to things, people/ parts of our reality in order to define ‘who we are’ toward ‘them/ that’ – this is how separation began from our physicality into energy: defining ‘who we are’ as thoughts, emotions, feelings, how we ‘experience’ ourselves toward other parts and people and particles of our reality, which is then what requires a point of self-definition in order to assess ‘who I am/ what I want to be’ in relation to this/ that part of reality. But at the same time, due to understanding how the mind functions and operates, we cannot possibly define who we really are as only these Experiences that we have toward people/ reality/ beings and determine that as ‘our living’/ life / all that we are – no way, yet unfortunately that’s how we’ve lived as human beings: I am a woman, I am a mother, I am a father, I am an engineer, I am a lover, I am a loser, I am a drug addict, I am a savior, I am intelligent being, I am a depressed person, I am a deceiver, I am a happy person, I am a wealthy being, I am a special unique individual….

At a physical level in common sense, there is no need to differentiate ourselves according to ‘how we feel, think or experience’ ourselves about others or reality in its totality – however, we all complied to this process even before humanity existed – and that is absolutely each and every single person, being or manifestation’s responsibility because within this all: we are all equal and one, and that is not some nice magical term but an actual consideration of the responsibility we hold toward ourselves as individuals, as our physical, as our mind and toward each other for everything that we’ve become.

 

Then why do we have to ‘Forgive Ourselves?/ Apply Self Forgiveness?’

Why Self Forgiveness is necessary? My perspective and realization throughout this process is: How else could be give ourselves the necessary authority and self-will to realize the fuckup, realize where we deviated ourselves from this equality and oneness, to within this self-directive process,  gather enough courage, self direction and integrity in Common Sense to have the absolute decision to support ourselves to, for the first time, to in fact Live, not as a programmable energetic platform that we’ve been living by/as ‘who we are’ as all the personalities/ characters that constantly and continuously ‘remind us’ who we are. Seriously, does life require all of this mayhem of personalities, interests, self deluded ideas of grandeur in order to exist? No, that’s the result of our separation, because in separation, we will always seek to get back to the ‘whole,’ but this ‘wholeness’ is understood as a ‘moreness’ – which is where greed comes from – instead of walking bit by bit our process to understand the actual equality and oneness that we are and can live by As Individuals when equalizing ourselves as our physical body, as our mind, so that we are no longer energy-driven bots seeking for the next fix of an energetic high to be or become something ‘more’ than what we Already Are as the totality of everything that is here.

 

Education is Necessary for any Real Change

This is part of what I’ve learned this year thanks to what I can call the Existential and Humanitarian Educational Research conducted by the Interdimensional Portal at Desteni, wherein we are able to get perspectives from the systems themselves to understand what consciousness is, who we are in relationship to it, why we are existing in this world, what are the solutions, what is our responsibility, who created us, why are we only Now getting this information, is there an existence after death? is there a god? what was god? what is our purpose within this  existence then?  – and all I could say is that instead of investing in any form of temporary fix of entertainment, there is no greater satisfaction and stability that one can obtain from these interviews that have allowed me to solve existential woes and questions that would still lead me to be ‘uncertain’ about this entire process and our role within it all. It is absolutely clear to me that only through this education at Eqafe can we assist and support ourselves to In Fact be and become Living Beings that have the necessary understanding – with our respective application with our individual self support of course – in order to create an actual change in this world beginning with ourselves that can surely, this time, stand the test of time and ensure that we never again enslave ourselves to the abusive system and reality we’ve all shaped with our mighty mind forces of self interest as humanity, which is everything that you and I reading this and getting to this point are willing to take responsibility as part of our Self-Realization Process.

 

Standing up for Life in Self Responsibility thus begins within ourselves, our own mind, our own body, our own relationships no matter how ‘petty’ we can see ourselves at this moment, we are standing up for that which represents Life in Equality and there is certainly nothing ‘greater’ than that, but there’s also quite a process to walk in order to ensure we create the best possible ways to implement these realizations in our physical reality, this world, changing our current economic system into an Equality system that can ensure we are in fact able to trust one another as life, and that is the Equal Money System

 

Time to get out of the remote-view of our self-deluded versions in our minds of ‘who we are’ and ‘what’s the point’ of all this process – this existence is ourselves and it’s in our hands. We cannot afford to continue diverting our attention with even more self-created problems through our own creation and participation of them in our own ‘heads’ in the first place  due to this basic self definition of who we are as energy of thoughts, emotions and feelings. This whole point proves that as within, so without = we are it all and so is our responsibility equally existent toward the whole.

 

You decide where you stand.

 

Next will continue with Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Application upon this primordial separation of who we are as the mind and then, Live the realization that: any form of Mind-Instability/ disorder is Self Created and we Must take Responsibility for it ourselves. Not the drugs.

 

Self Support to Begin your Journey to Life is Here:

Heaven is No More

 

Must Read Blogs:

 

Get some incentive to Live and be physically hear through hearing the Horse’s lessons about giving birth to Life in the Physical.

 

Quantum Systemization – Preview


152. Human Race Embarrassment: Shame on Us

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use embarrassment as an emotion and thinking pattern to dissociate myself from that which I see and create an experience toward it in an attempt to separate myself from others and deny that ‘I am them as well,’ which has been a pattern throughout my life to do ‘everything I can’ to be unlinked to anyone that I have deemed as too embarrassing and barbaric to even realize they are a part of that which is here as humanity, the race of beings that I am also a part of.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an emotional experience toward the actions, thoughts, words and deeds of fellow human beings as points of abuse toward oneself/ another/ the animal kingdom/ the Earth itself, without realizing how with me thinking and judging ourselves as humanity I am in fact only reinforcing the same systematic abuse wherein ‘who we are’ is reduced to only knowledge and information that I have separated myself from as pictures, images, thoughts, attitudes, habits that we have diminished ourselves when acting out/ living through a limited ‘frame of reality’ that we have established as ‘who we are,’ daring to even compare/ rate/ value/ regard everyone and everything in separation of ourselves.

 

When and as  I see myself experiencing embarrassment upon viewing/ hearing/ reading/ witnessing a human beings’ actions and words in/ as a point of abuse toward oneself, I stop and I breathe. I realize that me judging another through my mind is an equally abusive point that in no way assists and supports the being to realize the point of separation that’s being created and acted upon through the dictatorship of the mind that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become.

 

I realize that as long as I continue reinforcing an experience toward witnessing/ viewing/ hearing/ getting to know of a point of abuse that we as human beings have perpetrated against fellow human beings, the animal kingdom and our reality, it means that I haven’t unconditionally let go/ forgiven myself for what I have accepted and allowed to exist as ourselves, as individuals  that have used the mind to separate ourselves further and further from the actuality of who we are, from any relationship of ourselves toward ourselves, fellow beings, as we can only exist within the mind-frame of embarrassment/ shame as judgment that can only exist if I also reduce myself to only being and becoming an emotional experience of embarrassments as ‘who I am’ in the moment.

Thus, I commit myself to stop supporting any form of judgment/backchat/ gossip about and toward any being that is acting out/ living a point of self-abuse, as I see and realize that me judging makes no difference to ‘them’ and instead, only reinforces ‘my’ individual perspective as a point of separation in the form of an experience created through thoughts in my mind of shame and embarrassment, which can only exist if one exists as thoughts, emotions and feelings to create an idea of myself being ‘correct’ as in being superior/ better than the other part that is being judged – I instead assist and support myself to self forgive the point of separation and walk as breath to ensure that I stop supporting any form of separation through assessing ‘who I am’ as the mind and instead, equalize myself as the physicality that is here through breathing.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand shame as a point that I can use as a way to see how unconditional self forgiveness is the point wherein I can absolutely let go of the judgment toward any and all parts that I have separated myself from and instead, assist and support myself to ensure stopping patterns of recrimination and inferiority exerted toward others within/ through thinking, which is in itself an activity that we have accepted and allowed as ‘normal’ without realizing that: as long as we think, here are not Here as the physical moment of breath and instead we’re only separating ourselves from each other as the actuality of who we really are.

(Read Heaven’s Journey To Life blog for more: Thought Designs – Introduction: DAY 152)

 

When and as I see myself existing as shame and embarrassment toward ourselves as human beings upon hearing, watching, witnessing or reading about the abuse that we have imposed and inflicted upon ourselves and this entire existence – I stop and I breathe – I realize the experiences of shame and embarrassment as ways to only care about ‘how I think others/ how I ‘feel’ about something and someone,’ which is only existent within Me at a thought level, which leads to further laxity toward our own thinking when viewing it as a ‘normal reaction upon abuse,’ and within this missing the actual point which is how through thinking we create our own possessions upon the physical as a continued form of self-abuse.

I realize that as long as I participate in any form of thinking and judging others in separation of myself, I am in fact not supporting them/ myself to realize a point of self-correction, but only deviate the point of responsibility that I hold toward myself as my own accepted and allowed participation in thoughts, feelings and emotions – thus

I commit myself to stop any emotional experience of embarrassment as an emotional experience created upon witnessing/ reading/ viewing a point of abuse toward oneself/ others in order to take responsibility for my own thoughts, my own participation in the mind as that is what I in fact am able to change/ direct and align to what is best for all. I realize that I cannot change another’s actions, thoughts, words, but I can only remain standing as an example of what is possible to be and become when we do not allow ourselves to be ‘driven’ by an experience in our minds and as such, unconditionally also let go of any point of judgment exerted toward others that triggered the experience within me, as I see and realize I am the starting point of such experience, not ‘them.’

 

Furthermore it is to realize how this embarrassment toward all the points we read in the news and in our day to day living experiences in reality when becoming aware of a point of abuse can instead be directed to ensure that we do not only remain as ‘victims’ and ‘judges’ of our reality, but instead take such points as demon.strations that we ensure we stop and take self responsibility for in any away within ourselves, as we see/ realize and understand that as long as we continue thinking, becoming emotional and creating further thoughts about something/ someone, we are only standing in an equal-manner to the mind possession/ point of abuse that is being judged; within this we can see how we as humanity tend to judge each other for the atrocities that are committed without understanding the source and origin of such abuse being one and the same within all individuals/ human beings that currently exist as the dissociation of the mind in relation to the physical, which once again brings the importance of getting to know ourselves as our mind, as the physical and as such, create a point of reference to see where and how we have separated ourselves from every part that is here through us ‘thinking’ reality instead of standing one and equal as it to actually see in fact and understand any point of abuse that is existent at the seemingly ‘innocent’ level of a thought.

It is time for us to look into ourselves at all times to see if what we say, think, act and participate in is an expression that we are willing to stand as for eternity – we are actively and practically walking our mind to establish a final directive point within ourselves within the principle of what is best for all, which cannot contain a point of judgment/ projected blame toward others as ‘the abusers’ for we would understand how any point of abuse is in fact self abuse as the mechanisms that allow such abuse are existent in each one of us as well, thus we are all equally responsible and that responsibility begins toward ourselves as our own mind.

 

Self Respect as the Living Realization of what this Process is about can be walked with individualized assistance and support to ensure that one in fact acts upon one’s own Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Application in one’s world and reality:

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132. EgoMania: Narcissism

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that because I exist within/as a sense of self importance, believing that the entire world revolves around me and label it as Narcissistic Disorder Personality, which is simply a name that has been given in this world to an enhanced sense of ‘self’ in our world, wherein we are simply existing as this augmented idea of self in our mind, as the ego which is everything that we have created of ourselves as a mental configuration in order to have something to define ourselves as, without realizing how every point of self-importance and definition is in fact a limitation to who I really am as one and equal, wherein there cannot exist any form of ‘superiority’ or inferiority’ as we are all physical beings of flesh and bones that cannot possibly exist as ‘more’ than others that are also flesh and bones.

I realize that within this world we have created names for so-called mental disorders without really having a clue of how the mind works and how we could all be labeled narcissistic as we are all only looking after our own survival and self-importance that can only exist as an enhanced ego/ idea of self that we then believe is ‘who we really are,’ without realizing it is only a set of thoughts that we have integrated as ‘who we are,’ eventually becoming those thoughts as words that exist only as a limited configuration of self as a personality/ character without ever pondering if this is in fact what ‘self-importance’ must be/ should be –

 

When and as I see myself believing that I am in fact superior to any other being and that the world revolves around me, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am only existing as this limited mind frame of self interest wherein I have made myself ‘more’ than others as my own ego. Thus I take responsibility for such belief within the understanding that it is only in my mind that I can create something ‘more’ or ‘less’ than other – thus I direct myself to walk the perceived point of superiority/ inferiority toward others in specificity, ensuring that I align my thoughts and deeds to the realization of us being equal beings that require to establish physical agreements to live as such.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as the belief that ‘the world revolves around me,’ wherein I had definitely placed myself as the center of my reality in my world and believing that it is ‘normal’ to always seek to win, to always seek to be the best, to always be aiming at eliminating any form of rivalry, which is only the ego of the mind that I have become and that I am here to walk as the process of realizing who am I and what I have become as my own thoughts, backchats internal conversations that I have embodied, without having ever considered how it is in these very thoughts that I came to separate myself from everything and everyone else in an ‘superiority’ state that I have accepted as ‘who am I’ by default/ automatically.

I see, realize and understand that any ‘need’ to make myself ‘more’ than others was in fact stemming from the fear of being less than others, and fear of not being ‘good enough’ and a such, fear of standing on the spotlight to which I then created an opposite experience as rejection to being in a ‘visible position,’ which is just another polarity game wherein in my mind where I kept myself low-profile while deeply inside still wanting to be seen/ recognized or admired for what I believe in my mind was ‘special’ about me.

When and as I see myself existing within the default character of ‘the world revolves around me,’ I stop and I breathe – I direct myself to within the consideration of that which I am thinking only relates to me, to expand it to others as one and equal and in that, immediately realize that that which I am only linking to ‘me’ is in fact related to all as one and equal. Thus I direct myself to consider everything and all as one and equal and within this consideration, take the necessary steps to ensure that the world revolves around the principle of life in Equality and not around a principle of self-interest that benefits only a few.

I commit myself to create a world system wherein the realization of being one and equal can actually be lived as an entire social,  political and economical framework wherein all that will be able to exist is life in equality and any other ‘delusion’ such as the exacerbated self-importance that any point of ‘narcissism’ creates, is walked through a process of self-correction to eventually equalize this aspect to an equal and one realization of who we are in reality/ in fact in this world.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having spent a lifetime only concerned with Me-me-me all the time, always seeking to satisfy me-me-me and manipulating, controlling and doing everything that I was able and capable to do, so that I in my mind could remain as ‘the winner’ and the ultimate ‘champion’ that could ‘do it all’ and as such, developing a sense of confidence after having realized to what extent I actually feared everything and everyone and in this, realizing that the only way to ‘cope’ with reality is becoming the imposition of fear upon others as an image of being ‘invincible’ while in fact, such image of strength, courage and bravery is a cover-up for the actual fears that I accepted and allowed to exist within ad as me, without being able to understand why –

It is only now that we are able to understand the beginning of ourselves as creation, I can see and realize that it is in fact important to understand the beginning of our creation in order to ‘make sense’ of what we have become, otherwise, it is plain ludicrous that we have gotten ourselves this far,  without having ever considered to what extent we were oblivious of our own physical body, of each other, of this world and only accepting things ‘as they are’ with no incentive to find out ‘more’ about ourselves, but only remaining as obedient servants to ‘how things work’ and ‘what’s always been like this.’ Thus I realize that through understanding fear as part of the origin of ourselves as this creation, any characters that exist as an apparent positive attribute and ‘strength’ is and can only exist as a compensating mechanism/making-up for past characters that stood/ existed as the exact opposite of what is now presented and projected as confidence/ strength, which is how all we currently exist as is nothing but characters – within this

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to see and realize and understand that any projection of strength, security, certainty and grandiosity can only exist as a character that covers up for the fears, the inadequate experiences and the belittling of myself that I had become, wherein we are only now realizing to what extent the starting point of everything we are and create must be corrected as we are already the direct consequence of stemming from fear as creation– thus it is quite ludicrous to even believe that someone that presents themselves as superior can be in fact so without seeing the actual fear and inFEARiority that exists in such portrayal as characters that make up for other characters in order to not have to sort out the initial fear, face it and walk the necessary self correction.

When and as I see myself creating an idea of self importance in relation to everything and everyone else, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am possessing myself with my own thoughts and that in such split moment that I went up thinking about the ‘who I am’ toward/ comparing myself to others, trying to place myself in a ‘superior position’ to give such an answer, is already an indication of existing as knowledge and information that seeks to validate itself as such, instead of immediately breathing, and recognizing that we are in fact only divided by our own god as the mind that thinks, that believes and perceives what is here through the eye of the mind, the limited perception that we have become due to our own acceptance and allowance to Only be the mind, forgetting about the entirety of the physicality that we breathe in/as  in every moment.

I commit myself to equalize myself as my mind to and as the physical in order to ensure that my life as a physical being is directed to honor life in equality and to create in fact a world wherein there I no piece of ‘ego’ left to create inequality between the living words as flesh that we are here, ready to walk and to in fact create a world wherein self-honesty and self-equalization as life is our new living reality.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in a default-mode of protecting myself against criticism and/or being corrected, wherein such point of being pointed out a flaw/ a misalignment indicates that my stance as ‘a perfect being’ in my mind is threatened by another, thus I see and realize that any attempt to react in anger toward those that are pointing out something to see and correct for myself’ is only me as the ego of the mind trying to defend myself –

When and as I see myself reacting to any form of criticism and correction, I stop and I breathe – I take responsibility for myself to in that moment breathe and realize that only an ego can react whenever another is pointing out something to correct and walk as part of a self-corrective process that I am in fact actually grateful for, as it is only through my participation and interaction/ communication with others that we can face ourselves in self-honesty. For further expansion on this point, read  93. “No need to explain, I got it”

I commit myself to remain here as breath in every moment that I receive constructive criticism wherein I instead realize that it is to be grateful to have the ability of receiving feedback upon myself and my ‘doings’ in life, as we had become so used to only ‘caring for ourselves’ that another’s flaw was seen as an opportunity for us to get ‘past’ such person with such flaw, instead of actually stopping and assisting and supporting them to see and realize the point that is being missed within ourselves/ our reality within the consideration of how we can only thrive through living as equals.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in my mind having judged people that I believed were arrogant, self-centered and egotistical to the utmost degree, without realizing that every time that I thought this and believed myself to be judging them ‘fairly,’ was in fact me mirroring myself back to myself, wherein I had not seen and realized how that which I experience in my mind as judgment is in fact only about me, using others as a mirror to see who and what I have become – thus

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my own reflection as the personalities and ‘ego’ that others presented in my reality, that I only judged in a critical manner, without ever realizing that I was always only in fact judging myself as the mirror of who and what I have become in fact.

When and as I see myself judging other people that I perceived as narcissistic, egotistical, arrogant and selfish I stop and I breathe – I realize that these judgments are in fact related to me, thus I take the point to ensure that I walk through the prominent patterns wherein such labeled ‘narcissism’ exists, so that others can also have a look at how the Desteni I Process in fact is a pivotal point of supporting ourselves/ one another to face who we are and have become as our mind, with the assistance of a buddy that is essential to begin ‘trapping’ ourselves in our own believed and perceived ‘stability’ as ego and superiority that we tend to create in our minds.

I commit myself to live the realization that all judgment that I create in my mind is always about myself – thus within this, I see and realize that any judgment upon anyone and any aspect of this reality can in fact be exposed to make it evident, yet walked through a process of self-forgiveness and self-corrective application to ensure that we in fact take responsibility for the point of separation of which the judgment stems from. This way we ensure that every ‘spot’ we encounter within/ as ourselves is taken self-responsibility for.

 

I commit myself to expose the so-called mental disorders as labels that only serve to entertain ourselves with apparent ‘dysfunctional minds,’ without understanding who and what we are as the mind.  Thus the commitment lies upon educating myself and others to understand how the mind works in detail and in doing so, ensuring that we in fact create a point of self-stability and self-direction standing one and equal as the mind, the physical, energy and substance within the consideration of what is best for all.

 

I commit myself to exist as a being that regards life in equality within/as everything and all that is here, which sounds ‘cool’ yet requires an actual physical system to implement such ‘view’ and realization of who we are as Life in/ as a new political, economical and social system that will enable beings to realize equality as the only value that is Life, which is how the Equal Money System is the essential platform to live and coexist as equals.

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