Tag Archives: metal

125. An Alternative Pop Culture Child: raised by MTV

 

 

After listening to the interview Life Review – Parent Killed by Child and realizing what I was exposed to in terms of media when I was growing up, I can see how the current state of society is a direct mirror of what we have sown. I would feel ‘proud’ of myself for liking things that were not usual for a kid yet were highly charged with a sense of rebellion that I mistook for freedom. And this escapism becomes another way to get high without any drugs. That escapism as an ‘alternative lifestyle’ that I pursued was founded upon realizing the many things that were apparently fucked up in our lives – however, no one really had a clue other than blow the absurdity out of proportion, which became part of the every day influences I grew up with when watching early on Latin American MTV, which was pretty hardcore for a girl 7 years old to watch. I realized that I was making myself ‘strong’ by handling a certain type of music, by being fascinated by visuals that would usually seem morbid and disturbing to others, and this became part of my 6 hours that I would spend in front of the TV – from the time I’d get from school till  I would go to bed. I mean, how can this be ignored in my formative years? I grew up being the perfect A student that would make the homework sitting on a couch in front of the TV listening to Nirvana, Stone Temple Pilots and shows like Head Banger’s ball from which I certainly created my epic stereotype of male that I would certainly fall for flat on my face for. It was all just programming.

 

However the experience that I would get from watching music videos all the time – I was literally in a Non-Stop mode watching music videos. At that time I would not play, it was just going to school and being home with ‘my MTV’ while kids my age were most certainly watching cartoons. I’ve taken a form of ‘pride’ on that, but it also lead me to ‘grow up’ much faster for I was exposed to sexual content that at that time – almost holy fucking 18 years ago – the hottest thing you’d watch was Madonna’s Erotica or Justify My Love- and then came the hardcore stuff like the legendary banned ‘Smack my bitch up’ by Prodigy. Now, I never talked about this obviously – In SRA a couple of years ago I even walked an entire music video that seemed to define my entire visual aspect of sexual relationshipsLakini’s  Juice by the band Live and what I’m aiming at there is how we as kids get exposed to all type of things that we have to ‘kind of make our minds about it.’ I deliberately made me apparently an ‘open minded’ person through the visual contents I’d feed myself with on a daily basis – and hearing to songs like All Day I Dream About Sex and simply linking this entire sexually charged type of content with the world of rockstars, drugs, partying as the ‘alternative way of living’ became like ‘my dream’ to live up to. Obviously, the dream I was simply being presented as ‘the way to go/ follow through’ if I wanted to be ‘as free’ as such rockstars looked at that time – do not ask how they are or what they’ve done with their lives almost 20 years later….

 

And this is how we program ourselves, this is what I wanted to get to because I see that I programmed myself with such an intensity throughout the years from 7 till let’s say 14 with constant literal obsession and fascination for music videos that I cannot possibly make as if ‘I am done with that,’ No way – I still find myself with an open mound hearing people that changed my way of looking at life and reality even if I didn’t consider it as such at the time – and this is where Marilyn Manson comes in, wherein I was deeply caught in the ‘I want to believe in God’ aspect because of my spiritualist beliefs of god, brotherhoods, channels and ‘protection’ while having people like Manson simply shaking the foundation of morality with another show. Yes, in the end it’s all shows, but the point here is how I built myself according to such show and to what extent the good feeling experience when watching someone playing music on stage from that time still gives me an energetic experience that indicates the point is not yet walked – and this is because it’s one of those things that one would rather just not talk about because it actually still fascinates me, which I found interesting how many other points I can see I’ve walked an actual point until there is no further reactions, but when it comes to my relationship with music years ago and the visual aspect of it all – which was certainly part of the non-conscious influence for me to become an artist/ pursue an artistic career – well… now that I look at it

 

When I was a child I wouldn’t play the regular seek and hide games, we would play to be  ‘stars’ wherein me and my sisters would sing songs from our favorite artists. Our parents would record the whole thing and there you go, several tapes with us dancing and singing around in flamboyant clothes – at least in my case, lol. And so the imprint of the ‘who do you want to be when you grow up’ even at that age, as early as 3 years old I wanted to be an artist/ singer/ musician, which is no different to what other million kids want to be and become, really.

So, what happens when you have millions of kids growing up with this idea and desire to ‘become famous’ to ‘hit the jackpot’ and suddenly being impulsed to be ‘the next great thing’? You have a perfect world enter-tamed by an industry that is called ‘Music Industry’  wherein we all believed ourselves to be a bunch of rebels for liking music, bashing ‘mainstream pop culture’ while digging further into ways to further separate ourselves from ‘the herd,’ which is how subcultures are born and upgraded tastes in literature, films, music and any other human expression that we can consider as ‘rad’ which is what contemporary art is all about, an absurd look into society.

 

I would mostly get fascinated by any and all stereotypes of people that would mean revolution, rebellion, antagonism, opposition, ridicule and satire of our world. I can say that who I am became the mix of the words and strength that  I attempted to become as a force that could antagonize the entire ‘mainstream world’ in an apparent defense for life, but it was never really life, it was just glorifying a more apparently ‘free’ type of lifestyle wherein the cookie-cutter archetypes were busy being eaten by  the need to upgrade an entire generation of people that has simply left a space for even more ‘racy’ things to watch everyday. I was amazed when I got an explanation of what Anime is and portrays as I had no idea such things existed –  ‘hard core soft porn’ for kids made cartoon and that’s what your kid watches while you have to go to work to make a living, or even worse when you rather talk with friends on the phone while leaving kids in front of the TV, not knowing what the hell they are in fact imprinting and absorbing like a sponge from the TV.

 

It is not a mystery that this is how I got to learn English: all blame it on MTV and I can even remember asking my teachers about translating lyrics from songs like Seether by Veruca Salt, which was also a shocking video for a 7 year old, seeing women kissing, dogs eating food from open dolls and a general world of the bizarre music archive of the middle of the 90’s. If we dare to look at MTV now, you got programs talking about teenagers getting pregnant, teenagers trying to live the lives of rich and famous, teenagers working in reality tv shows that have become the new soap operas that get the most rating according to the level of stupidity that can be captured in a camera. This goes along with the multiple ‘houses of the famous people’ that you get to see, teenagers having boob and lip jobs, people being obsessed with self-image, dating or any other apparent ‘typical teenager problem,’ without understanding how kids grow up with such influence and simply copy the patterns of what ‘sells well’ which includes a sexually-oriented self-image/ obsession with sex, relationships, dramatic reactions and emotional tantrums that seem to get the most condescendence from people – an exorbitant injection of desire for power as the usual sex, drugs and rock and roll which becomes the holy religion of an entire generation that grew up, just like me: watching MTV and desiring to have that type of lifestyle.

 

Now,  the ‘boom’ became even more when cable TV became a normal thing in most of the countries also around 96/ 97 when the internet started becoming an actual ‘boom’ here in Latin America. It’s fascinating to see how I have been ‘present’ throughout those changes and have also walked the entire point of relationships with people online becoming nothing else but perfect mindfucks of idealized versions of what flesh and bone communication can be about. People that you spend hours talking to but will never meet, they know a lot about you just the same way that they can read a book. And that’s it, our sickly sweet accepted and allowed ‘popular culture’ that has become the breeding ground for anything that you can point out as a ‘problem’ in kids age 7 and onward up until 21 years old, when everything you have absorbed, you simply start playing out as ‘who you are,’ getting heavily lost within it all if no support or actual communication about the actual nature and starting point of everything we have consumed ourselves with, which in my case was music and music videos.

 

So, I could go on and on writing about this, because I was literally training myself to be able to write reviews for music albums and be an ‘alternative music encyclopedia’ when ‘I grow up,’ yet I didn’t do it and instead even pursued my own ‘artistic career’ in the realm of plastic arts – in the end, I did walk my own accepted and allowed script of ‘becoming an artist.’ And I see how music in my case was the perfect trap that I could have certainly remained easily duped by for a long time, if it wasn’t about me taking it on as part of my process to actually see how I had created this entire ‘Escapist/Rebellious’ personality when and while listening to music, the very idea of going to a concert, the compulsory consumerism toward music magazines and cd’s – at that time. All of it part of my main distraction that I would sometimes mix with watching TV series and CNN later on, always smelling that ‘there was something profoundly wrong’ but not being able to point it out with my finger, and when listening to musicians speak many of them became my inspiration to speak up as well, but I just didn’t know where or how to do so. Thus I accepted the closest reference I had of ‘challenging the accepted norms’ and I know that I have been some type of ‘dissident’ my whole life, yet being quite profoundly fond of the rather disturbing and morally-challenging type of stuff, which entails one single thing:  there was a deep sense of gratification with it, as I would not consider at all a ‘better world’ in that moment. I was essentially giving myself up to live a life of opposition, rebellion and antagonism toward ‘the establishment’ because after all, that’s all I learned from musicians challenging the lives of people – all really just another type of soup to give to the necessary opposition within a system, to really make it all look as if we had any say within our lives, to really make it look as if we could choose what is ‘best for every one’ – yet holding on to our personal fetishism that we all know exists because we got a reference to it in one way or another.

 

Thus the influence on kids from the media and being the brewing ground for perfect ‘disobedient beings’ is being paid for by you and me on the current programming we get on Media. Hence there is No Real Opposition at all, it’s just another show and façade that we believed was ‘superior’ in our minds, just for the shock value it represents – but that’s about it. I would often become disappointed of my so-called ‘heroes’ when and while I was going through puberty and seeing them all essentially decay, subsumed by their own wishes to rebel and ending up consumed by the drugs, alcohol and unsettling type of lifestyle they end up living, which is of people now in their 40’s and 50’s that I used to admire almost 20 years ago, while being a kid.

 

Now, what do I want for kids in this world? Certainly not to be exposed to all types of stuff and toys in and of the world without being able to communicate effectively what a ‘character role-playing’ this world within and as fun and games actually is. I mean, just observe hide and seek, the entire adrenaline rush coming from the actual fear of being caught hiding, I would sometimes almost pee my pants for that, as well as being locked up in places just to make a moment of fun for others trying to make me believe of magic witch tricks that I simply kept being fascinated to know about while growing up I mean, did anyone really ever consider to what extent we become that which we program ourselves with in our immediate environment? This is actually quite a cool point, as it reveals how it’s not so much about what stuff you may watch on tv, but the communication you may have or not have with your parents.

 

Parenting is the most important job in the world at the moment and it is the point wherein we are lacking heaps of self-support to be walked to in self-agreement, wherein you and I can ensure that we bring children into this world that Can discern between reality and fantasy, that can discern between role-playing games with costumes and every day living reality wherein self-responsibility cannot ever really be avoided for life, but instead develop a physical relationship to ‘playing’ instead of just worshipping those that instigate the type of characters like ‘follow your dreams, don’t give up  – and what did I became?  A very fond girl of just cultivating my own ‘alternative lifestyle dream’ as the result of having decided to give up on this world and as such, only seeking to ‘make most of it.’ I became deliberately evasive to add fuel to my ‘tortured soul’ type of personality – and through this old, music was the soundtrack, I certainly would not want a child to do as I did, as that can certainly lead you to be the perfect drone on Earth, an aloof individual essentially just waiting to die and get some fun in the meantime.

 

The insanity that we have blamed the media for what we have become is really only our reflection. And at all times, the support of a parent in order to assess the contents, events, experiences that one will handle through life must be walked by the hand of the parent, as it is clear how the greatest point missed within this is the education that parents and anyone that is aiming at being a parent must consider as a basic point of support to ourselves as children.

 

Investigate Desteni  and the Desteni I Process wherein we walk a process of Self-Forgiveness to realize How we can practically become beings that always do/ say / think what is best for all life. Check out Neighborism to walk a living process to stop the old ways in order for the new to emerge.

Desteni Forum to support yourself to identify the characters and copycats we’ve reduced ourselves to be and become and this way, learn how to live.

Equal Money System: we won’t require to accumulate people being fascinated with ‘being famous’ as all will act and live according to that which can ensure a legal life of over-excitement and rebellion. Time to consider a new way of living out of the usual schemes we have secluded ourselves in within our little bubbles of consumerism and pursuit of happiness.

 

A Life in Equality is yet to be known on Earth.We are walking the process as it.

7 Year Journey to Life is the key to step out of this brainwashing machine we have locked up ourselves into.

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Interview that allowed me to open up this point among other considerations in our current world:

 

Blogs that review the Bizarre Oddity we have become:

 

“Thus, for most part – what defines a MAIN character/personality is all the sub-characters/personalities that is accumulated within it throughout one’s life, as the MAIN character/personality’s process of evolution, in developing/constructing/manifesting ways in which it can evolve as ensuring its survival and eventual materialization of the origin as the purpose of its existence: the want, need and desire that activated it in the first place.” – Sunette Spies

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65. Treacherous System or Original Self-Deception?

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that my trust has been betrayed in the system, that I have been tricked and deceived by ‘others’ that ‘abuse my power,’ without realizing that I was the first one that accepted and allowed to give my power of Equality away to live as a mind-system that would only equate everything that is here as Life as separate from myself,  turning everything into a monetary value in separation of myself as Life.

I realize that the quality of the system being Treacherous is merely reflecting back to ourselves the Lie that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to build around life itself: a system of values/ worth that begins with words that define a fictional existence of ‘value’ in separation of myself as life, wherein all words entail a relationship that I create toward everything and everyone I see, which reveals the extent of the deception as only definitions/ limitations can exist in inequality.

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to place ‘trust’ in a system of values where Life was clearly never considered as Equal and in that, believing that such system was created for the benefit and utmost care of each being on Earth, which is only a product of the propaganda and information that I have come to believe is Truth, just because of having learned that ‘those in power’ would be taking care of the best interest of the population, which is and has clearly been proven as the total opposite in fact.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to learn from a very young age to save money, to ponder money as something ‘important’ while creating an inner conflict as to who decided ‘what price’ to place to all things and why some things were cheaper than others? Without getting any straight answer which lead me to stop asking because ‘I asked too many questions’ and instead accepted and complied to simply get used to the idea of being able to buy things with paper and metal coins, which seemed absurd all the way when what is here is no one’s property but the Earth’s itself.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in a system wherein lies are told from the get-go in the form of accepting a fictional value system such as money which implies that first ‘life lesson’ of separation toward children: you require money to buy what you want and in that accept money as truthful and real, believing that this ‘agreement’ of using money as a way to obtain things was best for all – never realizing that it was in that moment that I stopped asking questions about money and how the banks worked that I simply complied to game and ‘played along’ with becoming a ‘good saver’ and learning to value money over life.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that everything that was produced in the system was in the best interest of all, wherein I could not fathom that there could be products that were not fully tested to its ultimate consequences – or tested on animals – and could be sold/ or providing services where the health of the person would be taken care of with utmost specificity, only learning much later and to my anger and absolute awe that a lot of abuse was taking place in the name of money.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to only ‘swallow’ all of those reactions I would get whenever I heard an explanation on how the system works, wherein all the anger and frustration of feeling powerless to change how ‘things worked’ in the world became layers of frustration and anger toward the system that I later on sought to escape or retaliate in my very own selfish mode of criticizing the system and seeking to be ‘separate’ from capitalism, due to my ignorance and absolute unawareness of my own responsibility entailed within the creation of this system by my own acceptance and allowance.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to be brainwashed to equate things to money, wherein that simple ‘logical’ equation lead me to accept the entire treacherous system as who I am, because I gave up the actual value of Life in Equality and started monetizing everything as numbers that varied according to ‘someone else’s laws and regulations’ that I stopped bothering to question, because of thinking that ‘people in power knew what they were doing’ due to the premise of learning how our government is supposed to take care of all the population and guard the implementation of the best policies for all, only much later realizing the extent of corruption that I got to be aware of within the political elites, which proved to me that I had been ‘deceived’ – yet it was my own deception, my entire acceptance and allowance for having assumed and taken for granted the system as something that would be designed in the best interest of all, not being aware of greed being a more powerful quality than that of ‘honesty’ and regard for Life.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself for having ignored how the ‘dissociation’ that I would experience in every moment that I would face ‘greed’ and taking advantage from certain positions in the system – linked to having more or less money – would stir this sense of ‘unfairness’ within me that I simply neglected because I saw that no one else was ‘caring’ to ask or know further about it, within this complying to how the rest would move/ be/ think and act wherein everyone seemed to be perfectly fine with how the system operated, thus I complied and ‘moved along’ because of assuming that things would be taken care of and done in the best interest of all.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see the physicality of money as an actual value in itself, wherein I learned that without money = I could not get anything, and in that, becoming very cautious/ fearful about money/ losing money, being very careful with what I would buy and start living in limitation and contention in order to always have money as a form of security in my life, always equating having money in my wallet as being secure, being powerful and being ‘prepared’ for any eventuality or emergency, which is accepting living in absolute survival wherein the very presence of absence of paper and metal coins with me would make a difference in how I act, how I move myself in the world and my relationship to all and everything.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to accept some things being ‘more’ expensive/ worthy than others within such monetary values

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to accept the bullshit explanations as to why some fruits were more expensive than others, which is the moment wherein I started realizing that the price of things was not ‘in itself’ but contained a series or processes that were also related to money wherein all that I am buying and consuming is a chain-massacre of fake values imposed onto life wherein the only way to obtain it, is through getting money which is a forced way to participate in the system – because if you question it and have no money = you simply die. Thus,

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to comply to the existence of a treacherous system wherein I believed that I was being cared for and later on realizing I was not, blaming it on ‘the system’ without ever seeing and reflecting back to myself all the series of moments wherein I gave into accepting the system ‘as is’ with no further questions asked.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed the deception of the system because of wanting to be a ‘good citizen’ and ‘complying to the rules and regulations’ which was actually stemming from fear of being punished, being wrong/ being bad, which I took as ‘normal’ and within that accepting a system of survival based on fear of punishment and further isolation from the rest of society, which is what jails represent as the impartation of the law.

 

I commit myself to continue debunking the most ‘obvious’ yet primordial acceptances of value as money in separation of myself as life, and how that has shaped the ‘who I am’ as an individual that currently uses money as a way to ‘survive in the system’ while realizing that everything that is Here is of the Earth is and should be granted in Equality for All – yet, because of the amount of lies we have bought as ‘truth’ in relation to the world-system of money, I am now walking the consequences of delegating and even negating my common sense to trust in the system that I thought ‘knew’ what was ‘best for me.’

 

I commit myself to write to investigate where and how I have built my own value schemes in accordance to the primary premise of things not being ‘equally worthy’ in this world, wherein I then learned that to be ‘special’ I had to place some things/ people of ‘more worth’ than others, such as beginning with favoritism as a child.

 

I  commit myself to reveal to what extent we have used the word ‘Trust’ as a way to blind ourselves to premises that only sound ‘logical’ to a mind trained in/ as Logic, wherein there is and has never been any common sense that could point out the most obvious points such as money being a fake-system, a belief-system that we use to empower some and deliberately abuse others to maintain a system based in inequality where ‘power’ can only exist as abuse of others through generating profit in a system that blatantly accepts it as a form of success.

 

I commit myself to establish the Equal Money System as this is the most obvious common sense we have ever missed in this reality and existence, and that we can only continue existing if we accept the fact that we have been living a LIE as the current world-system and that it will take self-honest and self-responsible beings to dare to correct the consequences of our gigantic mistake and deliberate spite toward life, in order to finally establish a world-order in and of Equality as Life.

 

I commit myself to continue debunking my own logical acceptances of the system, wherein logic stands as the basic ‘love for knowledge’ as truth, in a world-system where knowledge has become the weapon of choice to kill and abuse in the name of power over life.

Desteni

Desteni Forum

 

Mundo-Abajo

Mundo Abajo/ World upside down (2003)

 

Equal Money System Book:

Common Sense Education on Money and the World System:

 

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