Tag Archives: mind power

162. Either Do it or DIE

I had a dream wherein I had applied for a job at a record store, and I was given a certain schedule that I of course had to cover. However I was rather entertained in my reality with something else, I remember I was interacting or moving around with people and as such when the time came for me to go cover my job schedule, I simply decided not to go and the reason in this case was because ‘I didn’t require the money,’ thus I experienced this absolute laxity toward the point of responsibility simply because I was not being guided by survival to do it, which is something that I can see is related to the motivation/ motive-factor as that energetic point that acts like a crutch for me to move.

The stagnation and deliberate shoving away of responsibilities is part of this point. I’ve lost the ‘fear’ to not do things and within this, I have self sabotaged myself extensively, simply because all the ‘discipline’ that I had lived was in fact only based on fear and keeping up a reputation that in my mind, I could not ‘afford’ to spoil for one second.

When the characters were identified, in my mind I created this point of laxity toward responsibilities, like literally only doing it at the last moment and essentially justifying it – foolishly enough – with me no longer acting out of fear to get things done, but ‘testing my waters’ in relation to my own ‘self-movement’ once that such fear is apparently non existent. And I say ‘apparently’ because it is quite obvious how I actually only turned the tables and went to the opposite of being the ‘on time responsible one’ to be a deliberate procrastinator one. This was all done consciously/ me being aware of it, and the only point that I can see has factored into it is this ‘force’ wherein I have opted to simply give myself away to it and continue placing things aside, postponing it all simply because I don’t perceive such points getting done within a matter of life or death. This reveals to what extent we have only moved when there is either a positive or negative reward and in my case, in the dream, the ‘record store job’ I had always kept in the past as this ‘dream like job’ – even if I am now aware it is not ‘dream-like’ at all – as something that I would do out of pleasure and that was going to apparently only be like an extended hobby. So, in the dream when it came to actually cover my hours, I decided to simply not go and take it as lightly as possible, simply because there was no point ‘behind’ it that was pushing me to do it, to move.

 

The same has happened in many ways within my reality wherein I actually dislike the fact that we have to be threatened in one way or another to move, however even after knowing this, we simply don’t do it.  The words ‘What’s the benefit in it?’ is what comes to mind when looking at ‘points I have to do’ which implies that within such cases I am still ‘expecting’ something good or even something bad coming out of it, and this ‘jaded’ attitude toward consequences is actually another way to not take responsibility for the points that are simply not being done/ not given direction, wherein it is obviously a non-doing situation that cannot possibly be without ‘an experience’ as it is perceived in my mind. I see and realize that it actually has taken quite a hold of myself due to my own deliberate shoving-aside of things that I know I have to do, but I am not doing.

So, the dream revealed to me this aspect of ‘necessity’ to do things out of survival – such as a job- while also deliberately neglecting the compromise I had made to actually do the job, which is something that is ‘so unlike me’ in terms of how I used to function in the past as the character of being a responsible person, whereas now that such point is not so automated or triggered out of fear, I see that it is definitely a point of ‘If I don’t change and if  I don’t move, nothing will change and nothing will move.’

We got it all in words, I got all the tools, I realize and see the point – so what is this deliberate mindfuck that I’m playing onto myself? Not doing something out of thinking of the future consequences of it, of the actual time that it would take, of the reviews and criticism that it will take, of the several bureaucratic processes that I am supposed to go through, of all the times that I would have to re-write the damn thing, and within that I see how I have in fact squandered more time when deliberately pushing aside this whole thing believing that somehow it could magically be ‘overlooked’ which is ludicrous and fantastic to my awareness at this very moment, how far I have deluded myself.

For all actions and inactions there’s a consequence – in my dream I did not get to see the point of not showing up for my job, but I can see how as long as ‘my life didn’t depend on it,’ I would unlikely take it serious, which is absolutely unacceptable, as I had made a contract/ commitment to actually do it, regardless of the money-made and my actual need for it, as well as it being supposed to be this ‘job’ that I liked/ wanted to get at some point early on in my life, which also indicates how we can brainwash ourselves to the utmost degree and believe that we ‘got it all covered,’ and when the seemingly petty points emerge, we can in fact realize that such seemingly ‘small decisions’ turn into massive balls of snow that grow and grow the more time keeps rolling.

And this point of consequence can also be observed within the relationship with time and procrastination, how we literally enslave ourselves to this ‘time frame’ wherein actual fear is being built toward the point, unnecessarily so, but because of the amount of energy as resistance/ procrastination that’s been created, we in fact develop it all into this massive ball that is nothing else but our own creation. And this is where in my mind, as the ego, would have wanted to blame it onto everyone else but myself, which is obviously something that cannot possibly exist any further within me.

 

Postponement:  this Force as ourselves as the Mind operate – where in a moment, our habitual Personality would activate and then this Force would be that “physical experience” within oneself of REALLY not WANTING to push through the Personality pattern/habit, but rather continue following the habitually patterned thoughts/internal conversations and behaviour – essentially in that moment the Mind/Consciousness as ourselves as the accepted and allowed self-defined Personality we’ve become, force ourselves into and as Mind-Submission, giving up on ourselves and the opportunity we would have had in that moment if one had simply taken a breath and committed self to the decision of change/realisation and physically, practically completed/done the task/assignment/responsibility.” – Sunette Spies on

The FORCE: DAY 161

 

 

And the nail I have hit my head with today:

for example, can look at contexts of:

“Postponing with School/University Assignments/Tasks – compromising one’s future and survival in this world system that is, unfortunately at this stage really dependent on establishing a profession/having an education. Obviously yes even though this may not be guaranteed, it should still not be an excuse, reason, justification to not utilize the opportunity you have in this moment to complete your education. You do not know what the Future may bring, and therefore, rather utilize the opportunity you have with education, commit yourself to get it done, so as to not have to face the regret of not utilizing this opportunity you have, later in life. It is here in your life/world, therefore – do it, get it done.” – Sunette Spies

Character Dimensions – Practical Application (Part 1): DAY 163

 

This last bit was enough to say Oh mein Gott it is so obviously blatantly here and how it has been deliberately brushed off in order to make it seem like, you know, it’s not relevant, you know I’ll do it later, I’ll Eventually get onto it, I’ll obviously have to get it done. Hence the title wherein it is interesting to see how I can give a dribble and a plethora of excuses as to why I was not doing so, however in the end it is a simple point of choosing to be/become the mind that seeks for a point of comfort/ no ‘problem solving’ type of situation instead of actually realizing how enjoyable it even was to expand myself within getting into academic stuff, this is also related to any habit that was for example supportive and when we stop doing it for an extended period of time, we tend to simply ‘forget’ how we would actually enjoy ourselves writing/ doing/ saying something that we then created a negative-charge to in order to create this infamous procrastination loop.

 

And what’s fascinating is that somehow I managed to procrastinate reading Heaven’s Journey To Life this entire week, and as I re-read this I realized that this is a timeloop obviously otherwise it would not be HERE for me to look at, walk with such blatant and obvious timing support – and self forgiveness for the clear judgmental aspect that arises as I write this out:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing any form of reputation as being a ‘responsible being,’ without realizing that such character was also driven by fear and this is the time wherein I am in fact realizing what self-movement actually is and implies for the very first time and that judging myself for it, won’t do any ‘better’ for it – within this

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I will be judged by ‘others’ for not having been consistent within my application, without realizing that I was perfectly aware of it and the deliberateness of it linked to this single point of allowing myself to be ‘driven’ by the force and believing that ‘I had it all sorted out’ which is actually the same point of ‘ignorance is bliss’ that many people may create as positive thinking, without realizing that I was doing exactly the same thing when talking myself out of taking responsibility for a single point that is here as my responsibility to be done, and within this, believe that there is ‘no consequence to it for others, but only myself’ which is also a point of self interest and deliberately shoving aside the fact that I am actually aware of how everything that we do/ don’t do does not only create a consequence for myself, but creates a consequence at the level of the whole  – and within this,

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘lose my ground’ and actually having deliberately created this stance of ‘all is well’ within me wherein apparently I was ‘not caring about it/ about getting something done,’ without actually seeing that the masquerade of ‘all is well’ was stemming from actually seeing the actual fear that created it as the realization of time as consequence being directly proportional to the amount of time I’ve shoved aside this point which is time-looping at a maniac-rate –

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to actually not even dare to be honest toward myself in relation to actually taking this point ‘by the horns’ because of not wanting to ‘expose’ myself to myself for the actual stupidity that it is to leave a task/ assignment/ evaluation aside believing that somehow it could not be ‘relevant’ to my reality any longer, which is quite the excuse to actually not take responsibility for myself and my creation.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to now that I am writing it out, actually experience a constriction in my chest and experience the heaviness as an energetic experience of fear in relation to seeing how long I have in fact excused myself out of this point and not given proper direction to it within the belief that I would ‘someday’ eventually do it and manage to get it all ‘perfectly done’ as I had done in the past, without considering that the past is not here as myself and that I cannot rely on ‘past patterns’ that require an actual DOING and giving direction to it within my reality, whereas before I would see them as an extension of who I am as such point of taking on a responsibility and committing myself to it.

 

When and as I see myself going into fear/ petrification when realizing the consequences of everything that I’ve done/ haven’t done, I stop and I breathe – I instead direct myself to not over-think about it and create yet another experience toward the pattern of procrastination but instead commit myself to do it, and this is not for the sake of keeping or sustaining an ‘idea’ of myself, but it is in fact part of what I had committed myself to be/ do/ become in my reality, wherein I am in fact then aware that it is a physical point to do within the current system that we live in and that it doesn’t matter if it’s required or not, it is a point for me to take on and ‘get it done’ no matter what, as I see and am aware that it cannot be pushed any further away in time than this.

 

So, I commit myself to get this done and I see and realize that breathing is the point to diffuse the experience within me which is a mix of fear and anxiety that I had managed to cover up with this seemingly ‘stable’ experience within me, while neglecting that it was not really a stable point of who I am but a make-believe stability because of knowing that I had been dragging one single point or various points around for an extended period of time without giving it direction and actually using other points in my reality to distract myself from taking responsibility for it – so another note here:

 

“Distraction – deliberately distracting ourselves with/as the Force of/as the Mind/a Personality, distracting us from/of ourselves, the physical to in/as that moment sabotage an opportunity for/as self-change/self-realisation within ourselves and our worlds. That we’d rather distract ourselves with and as the Mind/Personality, and attempt/try to validate/justify that distraction through and as the extent to which we can talk ourselves/convince ourselves in/as that moment from actually moving ourselves into and as a moment of change/realisation. All of which simply exemplify the nature of/as ourselves as human beings; that we’re deliberately utilizing ourselves as the Mind to not in fact really change, but conveniently only pay attention to our ‘comfort zones’ in the Mind to maintain separation and abdication of responsibility from/of ourselves and our worlds/realities.” – Sunette Spies  on The Force

 

So this entire point that came up in the dream wherein deciding to do the ‘fun thing/ that which I like/ that which made me feel ‘cool’  instead of  actually attending my schedule at the job and taking the point of Self Responsibility. So this is ‘my creations’ within the mindfuckism category, as Scott Cook has accurately coined the term – and it’s something I am definitely aware it’s not cool at all to perpetuate due to the actual extensive amount of energy it takes to keep shoving it aside, without actually ‘tapping’ on to it in the moment and just typing it out.

Okay, so this is the beginning of the end of me as the patriotic inhabitant of Procrasti-Nation – and this time it’s either I get it done or I swallow the already created consequences in the moment.

 

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144. Obsessive and Possessive Patterns: My belongings

I had a dream wherein I was going to the farm with someone and realized that we had arrived without baggage. I saw how the other person seemed to not care at all about it, however I saw myself manipulating the moment by becoming anxious, desperate, talking in an acute voice tonality and moving around in a fast pace from side to side in an attempt to actually make others to ‘get the point’ and take us back to the airport to get our luggage.  It seemed that I was really possessed with the entire point of ‘getting my bag,’ feeling like ‘unprotected’ without it, and I questioned how it was that the other person was not really caring much about having no bag with himself.

And in that dream I can recognize a pattern of myself, which is how I tend to not Live in the moment whenever there’s something that is absolutely occupying my entire attention: I ‘forget’ about breathing and with that, everything else in the environment. In the dream I forgot to enjoy the arrival to the place and actually enjoying being there again – Instead, I was moving around, rushing and finding any and all ways to get back to the airport to get my stuff, literally being possessed to get a cab, find someone to get us/ me back to the airport. So, here some points walked in Self Forgiveness wherein I decided to hold and create the backchat and obsession of ‘wanting to get all my stuff right fucking now,’ projecting blame to other beings and as such, even missing out the actual cool moment to see everyone again as I was too busy throwing a fit about our bags not being with us, while deliberately hiding the fact that I had ‘forgotten’ about the baggage because of also getting caught in the entire point of meeting another person, which is also the subtle moments wherein I also tend to ‘lose sight of the moment’ and go into an absolute possession of ‘being meeting someone’ and creating an entire  experience about it in my mind, eventually forgetting about things/ losing things due to my attention being diverted to another one single point – quite a pattern. It was also interesting how the other person’s ‘unattached’ stance toward ‘belongings/ ownerships’ was in my face and making a point with it, yet I would react to it with further backchat instead of actually taking a moment to breathe and actually let go of the possession/ learn from his reaction to support myself that way.

 

So, within this blog I’ll walk the first dimension of the dreams as obsession wherein I was absolutely moving based on my self-interest, which seems like it’s  been the only way we have ever always ‘moved’ ourselves as humanity.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become ‘possessed’ by the stuff that I have defined as ‘my belongings’ wherein I simply became absolutely focused on ‘getting my stuff back no matter what,’ missing out each and every single moment of  breath, being spending my time with another/others for the very first time and ‘enjoying’ the entire moment, just because of wanting to ‘have all my shit together’ before settling down.

When and as I see myself being absolutely possessed by ‘my belongings’ the moment that for one reason or another I am not able to have it all together, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I cannot ‘change’ the events by becoming anxious and desperate to go back to get them – instead I simply direct myself to explain the point to someone else so that we can eventually get ourselves to ‘get our stuff back,’ instead of making such fuss and a big deal out of ‘not having my stuff,’ worrying and throwing a tantrum, fearing ending up without anything, which indicates the actual pattern wherein I see I can ‘lose myself’ from being here as breath: when missing out my belongings and ‘losing everything I have,’ which is actually related to how money is our security/ safety bubble, which is a point I opened up a couple of days ago.

I commit myself to actually realize the unnecessary distress and worry that I create in my mind as thoughts when wanting to ‘get what I want’ right away which is stemming from an actual fear of losing it all as well as my ‘happiness point’ wherein I got used to ‘having all I want’ right away, without realizing that who I am is here and that all I can lose is stuff that I have become possessed by as my belongings and turning them into my ‘point of stability’ in separation of myself here as breath –thus I realize that they are not ‘attached’ to my body and that I cannot define myself and my moment according to having them or not having them. I realize that use I give to all I have, however, it is not ‘the end of the world’ if I see myself without them all.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within the thought of not having my bags with me, I immediately go into fear of loss as all the money invested on clothes and ‘personal belongings’ along with stuff that I had some type of ‘attachment’ toward, which indicates there is a point of possession that I am feeding as things = money that I can earn or lose in one go, within this not yet equalizing myself as everything that I have wherein I realize the current means and ways that one can get money being not ‘readily available,’ however, becoming possessed by ‘our belongings’ is definitely a mind-defined relationship instead of an actual realization of self-equality and oneness.

When and as I see myself reacting to seeing the thought of ‘my bag with all my belongings’ as a point of potential loss, I stop and I breathe – I realize that this attachment I have programmed through the value I have separated myself from and as money, which implies that there is no actual ‘loss’ as the who I really am in this reality, and that the loss is only a point of losing that which I had ‘made my own’ through the same means in which we have kid each other as apparent ‘owners’ of something – and even someone as well at times – that we can in fact ‘lose’ –

I realize I cannot lose myself as I am already here – and that all points of separation as ‘value’ upon a piece of what’s here that I had made/named ‘my belongings’ must be reviewed in order to realize in common sense this is how we currently exist as with regards to ‘things’ outside of ourselves, yet this in no way can define who I really am as the physical being that uses what’s here to live.

I commit myself to let go of the specific attachments I have created throughout time toward ‘that which is mine,’ and instead equalize myself to it, so that I do not hold this ‘strong definition’ based on what I see and believe is ‘important’ to me as belongings –this is an actual point to walk due to how I had defined the ‘who I am’ based on the stuff that I see and have a constant relationship with on a daily basis in my reality – being it clothes, computer, stuff in my room, artwork, ‘things’ that I have defined as ‘indispensable’ in my mind – yet never really seeing what is really indispensable and what is only keeping a certain dimension of self-possession in my mind.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to the other being’s parsimony and nonchalant attitude toward the realization that ‘we had missed our bags/ left them at the airport,’ in which I saw the image of the being just laying on bed almost not ‘caring at all,’ while I was with my nerves all spiked up wanting to go to the airport ‘as fast as possible’ to get our stuff back – within this judging the being’s attitude as careless, lazy, complacent and passive, just because of the being showing little to no interest to be concerned the same what that I was with regards to ‘my belongings.’

When and as I see myself judging another being as ‘too passive’ and ‘nonchalant’ to deal with situations that I have defined as ‘emergencies’ wherein immediate action is required – I stop and I breathe – I realize that I have to actually slow down to see how reacting to another’s attitude of patience and parsimony is a way for me to complain about them not supporting my mind fuck.

I realize that I had in fact been judgmental and at the same time jealous of beings’ attitude toward loss, wherein I believe that they would have to be ‘going up in flames’ as well, but instead seeing them act and taking it all ‘without a care’, which is what I have taken as a crutch for me to react even more toward them and blaming them for ‘not giving a fuck/ not caring about the whole thing ‘the same way I do,’ and in this, actually taking a self-righteous position of me being the ‘good person’ because of caring ‘too much’ about the event, which is absolute self-manipulation to make myself ‘the winner/ the caring one’ within this entire event,  in this

I commit myself to actually stop always aiming to be the one with the ‘right judgment’ at all times, wanting to impose my view as ‘that which is right,’ which is the way that I still want to hold on to my mind in a self-righteous mode, instead I support myself to learn from others in fact, to see how it is possible to exist without an actual attachment toward ‘things’ in my reality and still manage to live.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that a person that ‘truly cares’ shows emotions of worry and preoccupation, rushing and ‘moving around in a fast pace’ as if such attitudes were in fact necessary when giving direction to a point that requires immediate to short term solutions. I realize that I have only created such belief in my mind based on parental patterns of rushing, preoccupying/ worrying about things and creating attachment toward things ‘of my own,’ without realizing that I cannot own, I cannot have ‘control’ over my reality and that any point of fear of loss must be confronted/ faced as the actual point of possession it represents: fearing losing ‘my belongings’ as ‘my stuff’ as a way to justify me being pissed off, exalted and rushing to get things ‘back to me,’ wherein I am only caring about me-me-me, my time, my stuff and moving everything and everyone I can to get my stuff back as a synonym of getting ‘my comfort, peace and security back’ which is unacceptable, as it’s mind possession.

When and as I see myself wanting to become emotional in anger or anxiety and distress when things are ‘not going my way,’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that this is just a mind fit that in no way assists and support ourselves to get things done, it is only a mind-driven reaction that serves no one. Thus

I commit myself to stop manipulating myself through emotions of anxiousness despair, worry and concern whenever I want things to get done the way that I want it, how I want it, as fast as I want it and in the moment that I want it which is precisely what I have lived as in my reality: subtly moving people around in a way wherein I can get a benefit and/or support to ‘do what I want/ get what I want,’ which is then the point to expose toward myself and eradicate, as I see and realize that it is in this seemingly ‘petty reaction’ that a great ‘chunk’ of my personality resides: moving and directing things as fast as possible when and where there is an immediate point of self interest to cover, while creating a negative reaction and backchat toward those that are ‘in the same situation,’ yet do not approve/ support my reaction/mindfuck the way that ‘I’ expected them to do, in this

 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always seek for at least 1 other person to ‘backup’ my mindfuck, wherein I am still wanting to get things done ‘my way,’ even if I know that ‘my way’ is absolute self interest and actual obsession in that moment. It is unacceptable to want to get at least one other person to ‘agree’ with my mind possession as a way to validate it as real and ‘a good reason’ to get what I want. In this

When and as I see myself deciding to act as a point of mind-possession wherein I am moving the earth and mountains to get my point of desire/ want and need done, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am actually being possessed in this moment by the entire situation wherein I am not considering anything or anyone else BUT My point of happiness which is being obsessed with  become ‘getting it,’/ making it/ going somewhere and essentially, not stopping the mindfuck till it is satisfied/ done/ achieved– thus

I commit myself to stop supporting my own wants/ needs and desires that come up in a cyclic manner in my mind, and instead breathe and realize that if the point is in fact relevant to give direction to in common sense and placing self interest aside, I can direct myself to see the viable options –here as breath – to give direction to the point. However if it is only a point of ‘immediacy’ just because I say so, it’s absolutely unacceptable and as such must be stopped by myself immediately, as I see and realize that I am also involving others in ‘move’ that I have to also take into consideration at all times to make a decision that’s best for all. This way I ensure myself to not be immediately caught manipulating and controlling others to ‘get things done,’ but I instead take such points and walk them myself first in self honesty to ensure I am not possessed by my own interest to give direction to something/ someone

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consider my obsessive-compulsive behavior as a curse and a virtue wherein the curse arises when becoming dependent on a particular pattern, getting things done and a virtue as this ‘gets me moving,’ without realizing that both starting points are equally fucked as they are stemming from an actual fear – of loss/ lacking/ being unprotected in this case – instead of being actual points of self-movement in the moment within common sense.

When and as I see myself becoming compulsive with regards to depending on a particular habit of extreme lack/ need in an urgent manner to immediately move, I stop and I breathe – I realize that there’s no need to create a situation of ‘extreme lack’ and ‘rush’ to get things done, no matter how it has worked ‘in the past,’ who I am cannot be repeating the same ‘effective formulas’ of myself in the past – thus I ensure that I actually walk a point without having to take it o the very last consequences before losing all time to move, and in this actually create a habit of distributing enough time and consideration to check all points required when and while moving, directing, doing something in our reality.

I realize that the ‘obsessive point’ of not stopping doing something until it is done can be a ‘cool thing’ if the starting point is clearly self-supportive at all times and it doesn’t become a one point to procrastinate and eventually do ‘all at once’ in the least amount of time possible – I realize that I have created this pattern throughout time wherein I had even involved ‘luck’ as a factor to determine things always ‘turning out well’ at the end when taking on a project, task or a single point to ‘move’ and direct, as I see and realize that this is hope here acting and not actual self movement at all times.

I commit myself to slow myself down to breath when the mind is rushing wanting and trying/ attempting to get something done. Instead I walk at the breathing pace to establish solutions according to the actual need and practical requirements of the solution.

 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become thoughts as an experience wherein even in my dreams, and knowing beforehand that I can just breathe and exist ‘here,’ I allowed myself to be possessed by the worry and concern of ‘losing money’ through losing my bag, representing that attachment/ value that I have given to possessions that are in fact an imposition of property over that which is here from and of the Earth, transformed into ‘products’ that we buy and sell to ‘make a living’ within a delusional system wherein we created a big lie as monetary system in order to support the mind’s desire of power as an illusion that can only be ‘made real’ through imposing private property as ownership upon the Earth in the name of personal benefit and personal interest.

 

When and as I see myself getting concerned about ‘losing my belongings’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that ‘my belongings’ is but an imposition I have beLieved myself to be real in order to justify my point of control/ imposition over life for my own benefit. Thus, it is to see that it is the relationship created with money that which is to be reviewed the moment that we allow ourselves to be mind possessed/ obsessed with thoughts that indicate fear of loss while creating a point of need, desire and want to satisfy that ‘fear of loss’ – this indicates already the type of conflict that we create only in our minds while abusing the very physical reality that has allowed ourselves to ‘bear’ the mindfucks that we indulge in, the moment that we use the mind to create a point of worry, concern, going into obsession and thinking possession out of fearing losing something that was never ‘mine’ in the first place, which places into context how it is that I have accepted and allowed myself to be still regarding material possessions as ‘the point’ of possession even in the slightest /sly-test situations.

 

I commit myself to actually let go of the value, regard that I have imprinted onto ‘everything that I own’ as ‘my belongings’ to ensure that I in fact stop defining ‘who I am’ according to ‘what I own’ and as such, commit myself to review the attachments I have created toward my ‘material possessions’ as it is not even a matter of ‘how much money I have’ or how ‘expensive’ my belongings are, but the value and worth that I have given them in my mind as the ‘who I am’ being defined by such belongings.

 

This will continue…

 

Support yourself to get to see the ‘seemingly unnoticeable’ of how we live and act like on a daily basis, to finally ensure we are in fact able to stand as beings that live and do what’s best for  all at all times, no matter what – Desteni I Process 

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143. Only the Privileged Ones get to Live

Does this sound elitist to you? Well, this is implied in the laws under which we’ve been all living in and by: Money is a privilege that is only granted to 1/4 of the Earth’s population, and us people behind our computers are part of it – ‘Noooo!’ Yesss, we are, clearly so, otherwise we would not be able to read, have a computer, have a sound body that is nurtured with the Earth’s resources that Should be Unconditionally Given to All Beings to Live – yet, what have we done? We have created a set of arbitrary ‘rules’ to dictate who lives and who dies, this implies that we could recognize each other as the ultimate criminals: we are all responsible for the killings of billions of human beings, animals, the Earths resources in the name of profit as that illusion of power and control that Our delusional monetary system enables in our reality.

What does this make us all? A bunch of thieves, elitists and selfish beings. However what I have realized throughout the years of having lived for a long time on the ‘leftist/ judgmental’ type of personality, I saw that the plethora of judgments toward the world system, people and essentially everyone in this world lead me nowhere and instead became just another excuse and justification to Not realize how it is that I was simply adding my 2 kg of dirt to an ever-growing empire of shit – yes, high jacking Reznor here – and never even daring to see HOW I was only judging me, really, how every single flaw I could get pissed of about in our reality made by so-called ‘Nasty beings’ was only a way to make myself seem ‘superior’ in my mind against those that I haughtily judged as despicable, nasty and absolutely abhorring in this world, in which I would obviously place politicians for the most part in such category.

I had an interesting experience today meeting one – whether it was real or not – most likely not however for what it was, it played a cool character to confront for a moment. There was this idea of ‘the privileged ones’ came up when speaking about the NASA’s endeavors  to ‘save humanity’ through going to explore another planet -and I saw that it ‘pissed me off’ the most as he was clearly indicating that ‘finding life in mars could mean the ability to send human beings there to ‘save the race’ – I pointed out how that could only be just another selfish act and that we should instead just focus on Earth to support all beings equally here – he said, well, it’s clear that not everyone will be saved, and only the privileged ones will remain. And I cringed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get pissed off at words that imply that ‘only the privileged ones on Earth’ will remain alive after ‘all the trials and tribulations,’ which is actually a statement based on Fear wherein money acts as the idea of ‘security’ that money has existed as and provided for those that can ‘assure’ their lives through money.

When and as I see myself getting pissed off at people speaking about how there are ‘privileged ones’ on Earth that will ‘deserve’ to continue living as an example of the human race, I stop and I breathe – I realize that the punitive judgment that I have inflicted upon another’s words is actually anger toward myself and all for having accepted and allowed the belief of there being ‘special beings’ in this world and that in any way such ‘privileged ones’ could be ‘saved’ on Earth, without realizing that we are actually living by/ as this punitive system wherein Life is only awarded/ given/ offered to those that hold the point of current ‘power and control’ as money, while the rest of humanity that do not have such ‘power’ as money are left to die in starvation or abused in the most horrid ways ‘just to make a living,’ in essence becoming the ‘modern day slaves’ for a consumerist apocalyptic world.

I commit myself to make of this world a privileged place to live in, wherein I can ensure that I am able to face each being and say I have in fact done what I can in order to honor life, to establish an Equality System wherein we can ensure that who we are stands as Life for eternity. And within this, realizing that there is no magic wand in this statement as it is an actual decision that I commit myself to live till the day that I die.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge anyone that lives as the perfect example of ‘only the privileged ones get to live’ wherein I would immediately associate the word privilege as a special, superior position of ‘power’ as money/ wealth, without realizing how it is that just by the fact of having money, I am part of the ‘privileged ones’ on Earth that can already have a ‘privileged life’ when compared to those other beings that have no money to live and as such, ignoring the fact that it is ourselves we judge at all times when ‘judging the system,’ ‘judging the corrupt and filthy rich politicians,’ without realizing that it is ourselves that exist as an actual point of abuse toward other living beings that are equally here, yet we have disregarded them the moment that we aGreed to create a monetary system that could ensure only a few could have money and the rest ‘strive to live’ or have no money at all, which would ensure a finite death/dead end to a living being’s life,

When and as I see myself judging people for so-called ‘elitist comments,’ I stop and I breathe – I take the point back to self to see where it is that I am in fact judging, getting angry at and reacting to words that are actually showing me where I have contributed to the abuse, elitism and segregation in this world based on the belief that money is in fact real and that money is that which ‘enables us to live,’ a Major misconception and general ‘saying’ without awareness wherein we do not see and realize how it is the Earth itself that enables us to live – the air we breathe, the foods we eat, the relationships we establish with the environment is what Living is – thus

I realize that diminishing ‘living’ to having lots of money to experience the ultimate ‘pleasure of success’ in one’s life is part of the brainwashing and indoctrination moves wherein we reduced ‘living’ to consumption, living to satisfying make-believe needs that could only support an entire ‘lifestyle’ that we all aspired to get to live, as ‘privileged ones’ that would not have to ‘deal’ with the ‘Earthly problems,’ placing ourselves in a comfortable bubble of money so that we would not have to ‘wake up’ to reality, but built a make-believe reality upon the fallacy that money has always been.

I realize that whenever I see myself judging something/ someone it is in fact me only considering Me-me-me at all times within a point of specialness as the money that creates in our lives and that I can certainly assist and support myself to walk in Self Forgiveness to see how the separation exists and how it all begun.

I commit myself to expose how we create separation, elitism as the desire to be ‘more’ than others based only on knowledge and information, such as the current money-experience we have in our every day living, which is all that we have become: beings reducing life to a single experience which is the actual point to be corrected in fact: to realize we are here as life and that it is only in Equality that life can thrive.

to be continued…

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130. Killing the Loved Ones

 

‘I’ll kill you/her/she/them!’

Continuation from: 129. Will Love and Lighters end up Killing People?

This is one of the backchat points that can be found within the desire  to control someone, which is wanting to manipulate another for the sake of acting/ doing things our way/ getting our point of Happiness. Whenever the person does Not recede to our point of control, backchat may emerge in an insulting, denigrating manner toward the unsubordinated person and one of the ‘most negatively charged’ type of backchat exists in the form of ‘I HATE YOU/HER/HIM’ or ‘I WANT TO KILL HER/HIM/THEM ALL’

 

Now, what does all the positive thinking on ‘light, love, bliss’ has to do with the point of negative backchat such as ‘I want to kill you/he/she/them?’ It is an extreme bouncing off from the positive experience, it is the extreme polarity once that someone ‘had it all’ and then ‘lost’ it as a point of self definition, unleashing then the opposite-directly proportional input of positivity back into negativity – that’s when we can identify our ‘downfalls’ and ‘depressions’ and whatnot that can escalate through our own participation up to a point of absolute mind possession labeled as ‘mental instability’ by the psychiatrists that do want to make the most for their pockets out of a seemingly neuronal-hormonal dysfunction.

In other words, this can only happen if we give too much head to such negative experience, eventually becoming nothing else but the absolute opposite of the initial all-positive input of loving someone for example – there’s even a saying ‘from love to hate there’s only one step’ – and it is so, because the starting point of love is not an equal and one standing as physical beings of flesh and bones that care for themselves = care for one another in physical well being considerations – no, love means in our colloquial vocabulary just passion, energy, bubbles in the stomach that become an absolute life-hijacking obsession that is specifically directed to a point of possession a.k.a. wanting to control the other being, wanting to feel special with that something or someone, wanting to ‘fulfill the dreams’ that only existed as a positive experience in our minds.

 

This is how we can see MANY demonic-possessions today – which are MIND-possessions and should be understood as synonyms nowadays, wherein boyfriends attack their girlfriends – or vice versa – ending up slitting their throats, killing them, hitting them to ‘make them look ugly’ and one cannot possibly fathom: ‘but wait, I was sharing my life this man, I had sex with this man, how could it possibly be that the next day he’s trying to kill me!’ – and this is precisely where the role of the mind as a literal entity occupying our physical must be understood: the problem is thinking, the moment we think, we are already existing in an alternate dimension in our minds – and in that, hell is not far away. You may say: well, then we’re all living in hell, because we All all the time, and that is correct and that is what apparently makes us these ‘supreme beings’ that can THINK – but is it really so? Who invented this type of judgment but ourselves as human beings that deep inside actually fear NOT being in control of Anything or anyone that exists here.

 

In past blogs when revising words as the imposition of man’s mind upon the physical reality, this relationship of control was seen, which later on became the money language that we are currently living with and by, it is to understand who/ what do we have to accept and allow ourselves to exist as in order to voice/think a sentence like ‘I want to Kill Him/Her/them’ and in other cases ‘Me’ as well. Here is the deal: not many people can deny that this sentence has crossed their minds in an absolute moment of an absolute negative experience which within the understanding of how the positive and negative exist, means a ‘Fall from Heaven’ to the absolute opposite – why? Because of all the expectations we built in our MINDS only – reading again, yes only in our minds – about getting/ being with/ experiencing ourselves with something or someone ‘for the rest of our lives’ which is the usual bullshit peddled in our media about these everlasting relationships for example. And this is primarily focused on wanting to Kill the Loved One, which for all cases should be the most shocking and extreme type of betrayal toward one’s conception – meaning creation of the concept – of what love is/ should be, it is as ‘frightening’ as can be, because every single bit of relationship that exists now as ‘our society’ is apparently founded (or found dead) upon love – have a look at the promotion of these experiences as something marvelous and real: having a partner, getting married, having kids, creating a family, having pets, your relationship to god,  your job, your neighbor – everything is promoted as these bubbly stages of your life wherein you are supposed to be ‘Luvin’ it’ all the way – and it’s actually quite fascinating how we can find a note in the news on a daily basis about apparent ‘loved ones’ killing each other, people hating their jobs, people bugging their neighbors ‘just because,’ people eating their children, people killing themselves or others because of their relationship with god, men killing their ex-wife and children because of a marital break-up, and the list goes on and on and frightfully on.

 

“The moment we make that decision, acceptance and allowance in the trust that whatever the mind present to us is ‘who we are’ and we continue participating in the backchats and energies, with participating as the more and more we continue talking in our minds and experiencing the energies without stopping them/investigating them: what one will find is that they become more and more intense in the mind, the more and more one remain in the energy reaction and so the backchat/thoughts/behaviours that it substantiate in the character/personality possession.” – Sunette Spies*

 

What is Wrong with this picture? The Mind 

Who we are as physical living beings in no way stand as something ‘alien’ to this physical existence as the Earth – the animal kingdom, the plants, the environment, everything functions as a whole and one single organism. Then, who is the real Problem here? The mind, the who we have become as this machine that thinks reality only to scheme one’s own survival and personal benefit, because WE programmed ourselves to only create a world system that could Only benefit ‘some’ in our reality. Now, that is seriously messed up to say the least, who are the real schizophrenic instead? Who are the real killers that are willing to maim any life left in this world in the name of a ‘thriving society’ that can look like the most outrageous façade you’ll ever see – but it’s just that, a facade, a sugar coating enamored view of reality behind which we all hide the Reality of who and what we have become as The Secret Mind

 

Once we pass through the initial disconcertion of realizing how EVIL we have become in fact to the extent of not being able to trust your apparent ‘Loved ones,’ we can start then realizing that there is a Seriously Important Task that each one of us must Take Self Responsibility for, and that’s not something ‘out of our hands’ to do, it is taking responsibility for our own minds, realizing that we all have to ensure that we STOP and Self-Forgive any single inch of hatred and Love toward another being – You might say: wait a minute, you say ‘Self Forgive every point of Loving another as well, but that’s not bad!’ yet, understanding how the existence of Hatred actually stems from Love must have left this point quite clear to you how any positive or negative input upon something or someone, will eventually go to its opposite as an experience that we then act upon, blinded by our own backchat and internal conversations that we are seldom aware of.

 

This is then to put all ‘Love and Light’ as any positive thinking ‘on the table’ from the perspective of realizing how we are all responsible for whatever we see as ‘BAD’ and ‘Negative’ in our society, it is Our Mirror and we have been denying this for far too long now. The thoughts that a serial killer or a bad tempered ex boyfriend that gets to stab her girlfriend are in no way different to Any other thought we may have in our heads.

 

Thus, it is definitely a bucket of cold water to realize that that which we always wanted to ‘ostracize’ in our society to not have to SEE what we had become, is in fact ourselves.

 

We’ll continue with the process of realizing the correction is not ‘out there’ in some bloody policy awaiting to be approved by the government to ‘Stop the madness!’ It is here within and as ourselves that the correction potentially exists: we just have to live it.

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128. Who am I as Control?

In the last blog I placed a series of moments wherein I would create a point of control in my mind toward others, wanting to impose my own ways and views onto how the environment, people in their words and deeds would have to act/ be like in order for me to create an idea of safety/ protection within the ‘known’ and the ‘familiar’ aspects upon which we base our day to day living upon. What does this mean? That we are in essence always FEARING ourselves and each other – and this is confirmed throughout the entire explanation within Heaven’s Journey to Life blog wherein our very beginning as existence is in fact stemming from FEAR:

 

“the mind/consciousness as a relationship between energy and substance, that has now become the relationship between the mind and the physical, is a creation/manifestation of consequence from the beginning of our existence that originated from/of fear and separation[…]With the very presence, nature and substance of the mind existent in/as/of fear as the extent to which we exist in fear even towards our own minds, physical bodies and so the rest of this existence: an entire creation of fear and of separation, because of the decision, acceptance and allowance of “who we are” from/of the beginning of our emergence into/as existence that came to manifest as fear and separation. So, this is what we created – fear and separation, and now we exist in separation from ourselves as what the Mind is/has become.” – Sunette Spies

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in fact not see and realize that who am I within control is in fact fear of realizing that I have in fact never ever been in control of myself as my own mind, as I have only always been occupied by a mind that is what we accepted and allowed ourselves to delegate our beingness to, giving ourselves into the illusion of a configured relationship of energy as ‘who we are’ which is what we currently exist as, nothing else but relationships of separation that we created from the very emergence of ourselves into this existence, stemming from fear as the reason and cause for our primordial separation.

Within this I realize that the manifestation and experience of the desire to  control is in fact the fear of realizing that I have never been in fact self-directive equal and one as my physical , the mind and the totality of who I am here, and that everything that I have ever been is just separated unit from the whole identified as a few relationships of and as energy that I defined/ limited myself into/ as, which means that

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist only as one single point of awareness of / as fear within/as the relationship of control that I accepted and allowed myself to be and become, wherein I never really questioned ‘who am I within wanting to control others?’ because I saw it as normal for me to want to impose my will onto others, imposing my ‘way of being’ simply because of believing that my way is always the best way. Within this, I see, realize and understand the relationship of separation as an idea of superiority wherein I am not considering myself as one and equal, but only desiring to exist as one single illusion of control over myself and others, without realizing it was actually stemming from the lack of self-awareness and self-direction as one and equal, which is how and why we are driven to want to control others, the environment and ourselves through out own minds, just because we have never considered who we are as breath here in equality and oneness as our physical, because we are not even in control of every single process that goes on within our physical body.

 

I realize that instead of having created a relationship toward ourselves to be able to stand as a self-directive being, we became abusers through/as standing within a relationship of abuse wherein only the illusion of being superior/ better than others is created to create a false-sense of power, control and as such a sense of order/ stability which is stemming as an energetic experience that is sustained and emerging from/ as fear itself.

 

This is how I am able to realize the point of correction toward the mere application of control in a simplistic manner:

When and as I see myself wanting to control something/ someone/ the physical environment that I am in the presence of and with, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am in fact one and equal to that which I am trying to impose an illusion of ‘power’ toward wherein I am in fact fearing such point not being able to be controlled – I see and realize that a desire to control only exist, if we are fearing such point/ person wherein any point of fear can only exist if I am separated from that something/ someone as an energetic relationship toward wherein through words I have scripted myself to believe that I can be more/ less than something or someone.

 

“how can it be “who we are” when there is no “we” / “self” that in fact in absolute self-awareness direct/create thoughts, internal conversations, fantasies/imaginations and the reactions we experience in moments in interactions with others. There exist no control over what thoughts we have, why we have them, what conversations we have in the head, what reactions of emotions/feelings manifest within us – all of which accordingly determine our physical-behaviour which we thus do not have control over/of, cause what determines our behaviour is the interactions within and between thoughts, internal conversations and reactions.” – Sunette Spies, Heaven’s Journey To Life blog  Character Time Resonance Dimensions – Part 2 (Self-Commitments): DAY 128

 

Thus in order for fear to cease to exist, I require to establish myself as one and equal within and without so that no fear/ no desire to control emerges as I see and realize I would be abusing myself in doing so through an idea/belief/perception of ‘control’ and ‘power,’ which can only exist as a relationship of abuse through and as energy as the separation of ourselves from being one and equal.

I realize that in every moment, walking the desire of control implies looking at the fear that I am trying to suppress through exerting ‘power’ upon something/ someone and as such, assist and support myself where I am fearing the unpredictability of myself as the expression of what is here that I cannot control. I see, realize and understand that the way to establish myself as control is an actual self-equality and oneness as self-direction in every moment, wherein I begin standing as the physical, aware of my every thought and as such taking responsibility for my every thought, word and deed in order to direct it to establish an equality and oneness within and without myself.

 

I commit myself to realize that the only imposition that is allowed is the equality and oneness of and as life –thus when and as I see myself wanting to ‘control’ something/ someone, I stop and I breathe. I allow myself to recognize that through me supporting myself to walk my own delusions of control as illusion, I must in fact equalize the relationship of abuse formed as control into an equal and one point of support to in fact be and become the directive principle of myself here as every single breath and moment that I am here.

 

This way, control is redefined as an equal and one self-direction wherein I ensure that every relationship that I create, every point that I participate in is in fact supportive to realize our equality and oneness wherein power and control are but illusions stemming from and as the separation that we have emerged from, and the experience that we are now here to take self responsibility for, to in fact become self-directive beings in our every moment of every breath and beingness here as the physical, so that we are able to express as life in an absolute realization of being able to trust ourselves as equals.

 

“Thus, this process is in fact establishing the ‘who I am’ as what we were supposed to have been from the beginning as equality and oneness, and not the consequence of fear and separation we exist as today.” – Sunette Spies

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Awesome Interview that explains the point of separation from the whole and the relationships formed within the absurdity of our separation from being aware of who we are as one and equal:


2012 Dreamcatchers: Who Imagined this Fuckup?

 

“Be willing to dream, and imagine yourself becoming all that you wish to be. Keep in mind the basic axiom — all that now exists was once imagined. It follows then that what you want to exist for you in the future must now be imagined.”

Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

 

“all that now exists was once imagined.”

This can only lead us to ponder the nature of the accepted and allowed mind that could go to the extent of imagining a world in poverty, starvation, war, rape, crime, animal abuse, violence, genocides, political and economical enslavement affecting the lives of billions of beings that are currently pending from one string to remain alive. Is our imagination something that we could be proud of?

Have you ever pondered how ‘comfortable’ it is to sit within our minds and ‘fly away’ into an alternate reality for a moment, only having to snap back to reality wherein the landing is often rather bumpy – why? Because in our imagination we ‘take the wheel’ whereas in reality, we have allowed ourselves to be driven by our own thoughts wherein we believe that: what we think, we can manifest. Is it really so, Mr. Dyer?

 

That ‘mind’ has been ourselves all the way: we created everything that is here, as it is, and within the current aberrant conditions we’re living in, we care realize that we manifested a fuckup as our reality that we have now covered up with a thick layer of glossy and sticky statements like Dr. Dyer’s quote above– how fluffy and nice! ‘Be willing to dream!’ I mean, as if it wasn’t known that sleeping is one of the most common methods to suppress our experiences and avoid facing our reality which is, yes, not a nice cotton-candy reality wherein we can all enjoy ourselves – however: we created it!

 

This reality has become the polarity opposite of our ‘wildest dreams and imagination’ wherein everyone is fearing each other, living only to get the next paycheck and seeking to fulfill the inner-experience with relationships that are mostly adding on to the self abuse in this world. Is this what We Imagined? or rephrasing: How come our imagination never fit the actual reality wherein any super-happiness and ultimate bliss-dream cannot possibly be fulfilled as a reality for ALL Beings? Of course, if Dr. Dyer speaks to the rich and famous that can follow the dreams through playing the game in the system, then there’s an obvious counter productive and abusive side to sustain such ‘charming’ words. Having such ‘bliss’ can only happen at the expense of others, and this is the single acceptance that reveals our ‘true nature’ within the ability to only imagine and fool-fill ourselves with unrealistic panoramas that are mostly keeping everyone busy making money to hypothetically make them their reality. That took quite some nitty-gritty scheming that we are all participants of as this entire system.

 

It’s a usual selling-grip to instigate human’s gullibility to buy that which sounds like honey to your ears – I mean, who on Earth wants to hear about Self-Responsibility and Self-Honesty and creating a world that is best for all through actual work? Not many, unfortunately – however what Mr. Dyer is missing is that: life cannot be neglected, denied, suppressed or even cheated through magic games like ‘imagining your best possible scenario and it will manifest!’

 

How predictable have we become to literally buy-into such glorious effortless quotes, that add fuel to an already fucked up Idea that living is about accumulating stuff that can define ‘who you are’ or ‘having all the money in the world’ or getting the ‘person of your dreams,’ which is certainly – proven 100% here by the writer of these words – Not what you ever expected it all to be. The fame and glamour that  you believe you want to get eventually becomes a nightmare for many – not even in having it all would you be able to sort out your inner-conflict that is most likely Not solved with money.

 

Bottom line is: when imagination meets reality you can either stop fueling these mindsturbations by daring to be Self-Honest and realistic about the current situation we’re living in and facing within this world – or you can decide to continue mind-fucking yourself which implies not only doing it to yourself, but dragging more along, such as what Mr. Dyer is doing within peddling such statements that are Not in any way whatsoever supportive for humanity.

 

How easy it is to sell dreams.

 

Dare to be Self Honest, Dare to see that his world is NOT here for our personal-fulfillment while having some actually slaving their time away while barely having anything to eat, just to make ‘your wishes and dreams come true.’

 

Who’s been the abuser and evil in this world all along?

 

Time to take Self Responsibility and dare to actually LIVE – it won’t be as easy as wishing or hoping without realizing that we can actually – instead of hoping and wishing –create a reality that is tangibly physically best for ALL LIVING BEINGS.

If you seek to ‘dream’ and ‘imagine’ just because your life is apparently ‘sad and miserable,’ read the following quote and see that reality is not about mansions, ‘beautiful men/ women,’ wine racks, boats and personal gurus that massage your ears with words that temporarily satiate your ever quenching ego as the mind – reality is something that our human experience cannot even grasp at this stage. Will you Dare to be Real or do you fear losing your ability to imagine and dream?

 

 

“To feel sad implies there is something lost or that can be lost – nothing real can ever be lost – Humans are not real –their bodies are real and will remain and return to earth when the opportunity of equality is recalled suddenly in a breath — when there are no more humans left and only life remain in various forms – you will not miss the illusion as it would never fit in with reality.” – Bernard Poolman

 

In the end: all that was mind-created will simply NOT exist as it was never real in the first place.

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