Tag Archives: movie review

460. American Pastoral: My Reflection

I recently watched the movie ‘American Pastoral’ and I can say it became a very interesting reflection to myself and my past in the role of a teenage daughter within a family. In fact, I wanted to catch this movie in the theatres because I watched the trailer and saw the plot related to a ‘typical American family’ that sees the only child  – female – involved in extremist political groups that started shaping her character to a point of becoming a terrorist.

There were moments of her ‘early stages’ of rebellion at home that reminded me so much of myself, like how this girl is screaming at the television news and calling them ‘fuckers’ and just becoming insta-angry at what’s being said on TV. Yep, been there, done that many times, creating a constant battle with the point of ‘having the TV on’ and the news themselves, getting pissed and worried about everything that was happening, blaming the corporations, the politicians the ‘unaware people’ etc. – as I’ve written many times in these blogs already.

But this is not the only point, in the whole history I was able to see the extremes of what happens when there’s a child within a family where the parents are the epitome of ‘perfection’ as in ‘model individuals’ according to the usual social standards – the father being the popular American football player in school that becomes successful in his business/life, marrying a lady that had been a beauty queen and essentially having all the ingredients to be the ‘perfect family.’ Yet, their child from a very early age starts to react to that, desiring the opposite of what her parents consider to be a mark of success and tradition. She starts doing the opposite like affiliating herself with ‘political groups’ that want to essentially disrupt any sense of ‘American Dream’ or ‘normalcy’ at that time – 1960’s, 1970’s in America – starts talking about being anti war, anti capitalism and being constantly pissed off at the world, at the system and at her parents for being ‘so perfect.’

I could relate to that so much based on how I was back then. I didn’t take it that far into becoming an extremist, but I very well know I could have gone into some sort of extremes to antagonize – and that’s the keyword here – whatever is considered as ‘normal’ or ‘mainstream’ or ‘moral’ to any society. My way of challenging this was through the way I behaved, talked, dressed, my preferences, my relationship preferences, the ways in which I had ‘fun’ all of what I built as myself was precisely a way to ‘unconsciously’ rebel and set myself aside from the rest of my family, a way to make myself the ‘black sheep’ and ‘show them’ that I wasn’t going to be like them, which means I was existing in judgment of them, their ways/behaviors, preferences, traditions and the rest of ‘who they are’ in an attempt to ‘change them,’ to ‘make others care’, to ‘have them open their eyes!’– wrong way of course! But I thought that was the way back then.

Here, I know that many might have gone through something similar to this in their teenage years, which is kind of common at some point in everyone’s life, though here the key is looking at creating a healthy balance between awareness and ignorance, between considering ‘the world out there’ and one’s own life and doings.  Therefore I share this so as to not follow through the ways of the people in the movie where they start reprimanding and preventing the girl from having contact with others, only causing the inevitability of her running away from home – but instead, be able to understand that phase of ‘awakening’ of sorts that many teenagers might go through and so, making it that phase where parents can be understanding and considerate of that phase, not jumping into antagonizing it or fearing it or attempting to curb it with ‘locking them up’ either – in a school or their room or ‘away from home’, but creating a space of comprehension of what this desire to ‘show the bad and the ugly’ of the world and being interested in acknowledging it in fact means, which is also why as parents one would have to first and foremost have already gone through that phase of also developing some introspection to be willing to face and see all those things that we usually hide away from in the idea of ‘ignorance is bliss’.

 

american pastoral

 

In the movie the daughter becomes that embodiment of ‘becoming aware of all the things that the parents were oblivious of’ or simply not caring much about – yet she took it to an extreme in order to make a statement, in order to ‘rebel’ against the status-quo. Yet she would eventually find out that becoming an ‘extremist’ is not the way forward and it gets to a situation where it compromises her own health and stability for the sake of ‘caring for the world or others’ and turning it into a religion, which is what happened to her.

But without going into the movie itself so much, bringing it back to myself I could see how I could have gone into certain extremes in my life in some similar ways as Merry in the movie, and I am so thankful that I found the Desteni message relatively early on in my life to prevent myself from going further down the rabbit hole and till this day, still walk my process of ‘stopping antagonizing’ the world, stopping my anger and sadness in relation to all things that we usually go blissfully unaware of, realizing that becoming emotional and a ‘fighter’ myself against everyone is not the way, will not show to people an answer but only will endorse fighting and blaming endlessly, which is pointless, absolutely pointless to the objective of learning self-responsibility and actually doing something about it to stand as that solution we usually only get ‘pissed’ about others not doing so for themselves or ‘the world.’

Here then I can stand as proof that no matter how much one gets angry/pissed at ‘the world’ or attempts to do certain extreme ways to ‘get people’s attention’ it one won’t actually change anything, it won’t get a message through either, one won’t actually in fact contribute to anything but only enhance the usual ‘war mentality’ when we go ‘fighting against everything that we define is wrong!’ and becoming of a belligerent nature that is ‘non-stopping’ for all the wrong reasons. I can see myself in that diligence and belligerence that Merry – the daughter – had in so many ways, but I’ve learned to redirect that diligence to my own self-support, to supporting others to learn how to also stand and live by principles that we can absolutely then prove to ourselves and show to ourselves what it means to ‘be the solution’ in this world, instead of going fighting and blaming and even inflicting damage upon others in order to ‘make a statement.’

It’s really silly how the protesting nature exists in us which has its origins in our tantrums as children and making it a point to ‘possess’ ourselves with anger and create a whole drama to get what we want – well at least that’s what happened in my case and even if I didn’t get what I wanted, I developed a relationship to anger from a very early age and later on suppressed it in so many ways, only to later on have to re-open it through this process of knowing myself, taking responsibility for my mind, my body, my everyday living and this thus becoming a point that I have been walking for some years now in order to Stop the fight within myself and ‘towards others in the world’ – but instead understand my reactions, decide to stop them in the realization that: my anger, my rage won’t do anything in this world of substantial change, it doesn’t nurture anything, it only feeds the war mentality.

So I instead self-forgive these emotional experiences as the ‘habitual me’ I had become, and direct myself to focus on my own self-creation which practically means going changing, aligning, redirecting every bit of myself that may want to ‘slip through the cracks’ into the old patterns of ‘blame’ and ‘anger’, then I make it a point to rather change that which I judge ‘outside’ in the inside of myself, learning to live words that are supportive and dedicating my life to do this with myself and those that I come to interact and support on a daily basis.

This then prevents any ‘extremist’ behavior, this then prevents ‘terrorists’ as well, this then prevents sects, cults and religious extremism where people get so diligent and belligerent with a set of beliefs that they are willing to ‘walk over others’ – harm, abuse, discriminate, hate – in order to ‘make a point’ that stands in a morality point of what’s good or bad, missing out the equality equation: what’s best for all, what’s the common sense solution, what’s our common/one and equal responsibility for what exists in this world, what’s humbleness in considering others?

And these set of principles and questions above has assisted me a lot whenever my ‘belligerent and extremist mindset’ wants to pop out, fueled with some righteousness which usually becomes a way to justify our anger or hatred, which is once again only self-interest, only believing it will ‘make a point’ but it doesn’t, it only alienates people, it only makes us walking ‘angry fits’ that show no solution at all.

Instead  I’ve found and proven that actually developing humbleness, consideration, embracing others as myself is a much more self-challenging process because then I don’t pose myself as ‘superior’ and ‘more aware’ than others believing ‘I know what’s right and wrong’ –  but instead have to challenge myself to find ways to talk to any person, about any topic, understand ‘where they are’ in their life/process of awareness and recognize that the best way to assist anything or anyone in this world, is by first focusing on changing me, stopping my belligerent nature and instead becoming an embracing one, one that understands what ‘living as equals’ in fact means, and this is then the process here which has actually supportive results that emerge as ripples here and there, without me even having to ‘push’ for it, because we simply become the ‘living words,’ we just are being the living examples and that’s as far as we can go when it comes to ‘changing the world’ really, doing so with one’s words, thoughts and deeds in every  moment that we are alive… but wanting to change ‘others’ and ‘fighting them’ is definitely not the way at all.

So, I suggest checking out this movie also for parents because the relationship between them and toward the child is quite an interesting one, if anything one that can leave aspects to learn how to prevent to the extremes in the story, and rather focusing on channeling/redirecting a teenager’s ‘awakening’ into one of self-creation and self-support  

Enjoy 🙂

 

American Pastoral Merry

 

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391. Noah’s Revelations

I went to watch Noah the other day mostly because I had read some reviews from angry Christians about it and so I was curious to watch it for the sake of understanding what the fuss was about.  I usually like Aronofsky’s work and this wasn’t the exception.

 

Noah

 

What I liked the most is the ability to place into question the general belief-system surrounding the benevolent god that Christianity in this case is meant to be founded upon; sometimes it seems that all the actual killings, sacrifices and atrocities that God commands to people throughout the bible have gone unnoticed just because of it being the sacred book that defines our image and likeness, an image and likeness that as human beings we’ve tried to hard to avoid and prevent looking at, our own ‘spell to ward off our darkness’ which in terms of religions, any fault to god is a punishment acquired without ever questioning God and its commands themselves.

 

So, before discovering Desteni I could not make sense of how this God figure operates or how people would generally perceive it, since it was supposed that god is meant to be loving, caring, merciful being…. however we only have to look at our creation, our image and likeness we have become wherein our own creations speak for themselves in terms of ‘who we are’ and we are annihilating life in the name of beliefs, ideas, experiences, delusions of progress wherein our real god is money itself – and the bible is the code for this reality, how to submit to the idea that one can only get access to life if one sweats the brow all day to earn it… figure it out how we are still living in a system that is based on a biblical scheme, and somehow we haven’t yet questioned that either.

 

The reason why I find it so relevant to talk about the movie is because throughout the story, one of the pivotal points demonstrated is  that all human beings have this inherent evil as the image and likeness of the creator – and this is by far the most necessary yet obviously shocking acknowledgement for the light-hearted since it is only through the realization that if we are the image and likeness of our creator, then our creator wasn’t such ideal, merciful and benevolent being that this god/creator was taught to be to be for all religious people, including myself wherein I early on also wanted so bad to believe on something, until I stepped into the realization of the fallacy this was early on in my teens. To me it was kind of obvious that there was something inherently wrong in this world with me having to believe in a god that only cared about a ‘few’ to live very well and leave the rest to suffer with only being able to resort to ‘praying’ to make things better in this world, which is an equivalent of sitting, doing nothing, waiting and feeling sorry for myself and every person that suffers in this world. I consider that the ever-gnawing question of ‘why do we have to suffer/ why is there so much suffering in this world?’ that drove me to get to answers might still be a question that many prefer to ward off to not see and realize the inevitable, the actuality of who we are and our real nature that we had attempted to vehemently cover up with lots of ‘love’ and ‘light’ and words that we attach with ‘good feelings,’ trying to always see the ‘bright side’ without first acknowledging the dark side, the real core of our being.

 

8. Fin de la Ilusión

 

It is essential for us to realize this ‘evil’ within each one of us as that’s the first point to step outside of the bubbly cloud of being ‘the perfect godly creation’ and instead realize that if we are created at this god’s image and likeness, then we sure are no perfect loving peaceful doves, consequently nor was ‘him’ either, and this movie is able to place in full bloom this aspect of our human nature which is lived through by Noah where he has to then decide upon following the ‘word of god’ or act in the best interest of all. Suddenly this ‘god’ that never talks back becomes a great diatribe in Noah’s mind, a struggle in itself when he sees himself having to choose between ‘Him’ and the love/consideration he has for his own family.

One of the huge ‘weights’ that were lifted off of my back was to stop believing in a god, to be afraid of a god, to believe I had to please a god or else I’d be damned somehow for not completing my ‘chosen path’ that I believed existed for me to complete in this Earth. I too once believed this god was real and that I had to seek such ‘godliness’ that exists as part of religious theory books that I saw nowhere being applied in practical, physical reality – but rather the total opposite is what I witness from some of the heads of religious sects where I studied in school. So, as the song goes, I once was lost and blind but not I see and so throughout walking this process within Desteni, I was able to understand the design of religion, the design of god as the symbols to avoid and excuse our own irresponsibility, our own abdication to be self directive in our lives, our own substitutes for ‘love’ as an energetic experience that we become addicted to and believe that that is all that we have to ‘aim’ for in this world, while having to struggle at all times for survival. This is the foundation of the Catholic religion I am familiar with.

 

I can now say for sure that the outrage that some Christians have created around the movie is simply based on the shock-factor that they are exposed to when considering it as ‘anti-biblical’ and a rather a so-called ‘satanic version of Noah’s story’ when in fact it is to realize the nature of who we are and have become in fact, and we are certainly not entirely different from all that mass of people that got wiped off of the Earth with the great deluge. We’re hitting again that time in our existence wherein each tree that is cut, each crop that is genetically manipulated, each bee that dies,  each air molecule that is made unbreathable adds up to our very near demise if we don’t actually stop, or come to be stopped by consequence, and so that’s why I also consider it’s a relevant moment to watch it and hopefully more people are able to see beyond the ‘fable’ that it’s meant to be and rather turn it into a very real and applicable self-reflection process to see whether we have in any way changed as human beings, what has been missed? why are we still the same greedy evil beings that were wiped out during Noah’s times? Why haven’t we been able to change or have we? Because we create our reality as the image and likeness of how each one of us exists as the mind. This is why no attempt to ‘change the world’ is successful as we haven’t yet ‘tackled’ the actual problem which is not God missing all the prayers, but ourselves not doing the actual work required to sort out ourselves and our creation.

 

This is It

 

To all the people that have watched Noah and are ready to make peace with the fact that we weren’t created by a white merciful loving dove of a god that cares about his creation, then I suggest researching Desteni as this is the necessary step to understand why everything looks like hell on Earth at the moment, and how no matter which phase of history we look at, we as human beings haven’t evolved an iota and only now we have the potential to veer the course toward which we are currently heading at which is starkly said: self destruction. This begin within being able to walk through the god construct, the religious constructs, the spirituality constructs with which we have fueled our minds of nice experiences, hopes, prayers and good feelings in an attempt to only wait that such ‘nice energies’ have any effect to solve the very real and physical problems in this world.

 

The problem is: we have missed our responsibility for our creation, we have missed the point all along: we all have been here from the beginning and as such there is no god as such but only ourselves as creators and creations that have abdicated any responsibility to who we are as Life, and instead replaced our realizations  with fears, with excuses, with justifications, with ‘greater powers’ and ‘superior abilities’- never realizing how in every bit we defined ourselves in separation from God we separated ourselves from our real potential, our real responsibility and our real directive principle to become the individuals that we already know would make of this world-system a genuine living place in this world.

The mind is currently our god, our own darkness we tend to veil with positivity, gods, faiths, spiritualties and hope, the actual evil, the point of separation that we are here to stand up and take responsibility for in order to align ourselves to a living principle that we can all be certain will change the nature of who we have been up to now and as such, change the nature of our relationships and our current systems with which we’ve governed ourselves.

If a person goes into denial after watching Noah, they are already making a decision to keep believing in an illusion because they are not willing to face the ‘dark side’ which is not really ‘dark’ in itself, it’s only been kept aside to not face the reality of who we are and have become, which is the first step to then decide to begin conducting oneself to live and apply the tools and principles to become a living human being that is self-responsible, that learns how to care for others as we would like to be care after ourselves, that learns how to cultivate real love as work made visible, the work that benefits us as human beings to step outside of our massive black hole of which we are at the cliff of if we don’t stop and change our minds to recognize and honor the life that lives and exists within each one of us.

Happy Easter

 

“There is no truth. There are only relationships. You either are part of what is best for all in all ways or you are in self interest and allows harm to exist in the name of your personal happiness. This is the Alpha and the Omega of this world. The ultimate truth. The ultimate choice. and You decide who you are and that determines the outcome of each individual. The universe is a group and if you are not able to be part of the group, you can work out for yourself what will be the consequence”

 

“The foundation of the truth of Here will only be uncovered with Self Honest Self Forgiveness. Only those strong enough as individuals will fathom self honesty and will live self forgiveness. Ego will never grasp the simplicity of the message of Desteni”Bernard Poolman 

 

The Great Wave 09

 

 

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382. Human Decay and the Wolf of Wall Street

 

One goes to the movies in an attempt to have a good time, to just have some kind of ‘distraction’ from the routine and simply sit and be passively absorbing a movie that is supposed to leave you with a good taste in your mouth… that was certainly not the case when I went to watch The Wolf of Wall Street, in fact it turned out to be quite a shocking social experiment that not only involved what I was watching on the big screen for three hours, but also the audience’s reactions as well, and that’s where the ‘cognitive dissonance’ situation started.

I decided to watch this movie after hearing from others how it would open up many dimensions to consider in relation to the world system and the lies we are buying and selling within our current world-system driven by money, where money is god and justifies any and all forms of abuse. Now, I have to describe the whole set up so that we understand why the reactions also ‘hit home’ in a way within me. I invited my parents to watch the film and I decided that it was a good opportunity to watch it in these VIP movie theatres because of my father’s birthday, so the whole plan seemed to be great and in a way it was, yet I kept pondering why the hell can’t we all just have ‘VIP movie theaters as a norm’ but it’s simply obvious that it would be unsustainable for ‘large doses of people’ to get this kind of comfort –  this peculiarity adds up to the unfolding reactions, as well as the ability of ‘choice’ that we have in our current system when it comes to what money can afford and what kind of ‘luxury’ we decide to give to ourselves, that’s how choice exists as the moment.

 

Wolf of Wall Street -Human Decay - Marlenlife

 

Why the title of this blog? Watching the film wasn’t something that made me laugh at all, it was rather a bit of a shocking experience, probably due to being analyzing every bit of it in terms of what is now shown as ‘R Rated films’ which is straightforward porn – and that’s in my eyes since I have little to no reference of what current porn looks like, other than the one showing up now as ‘soft core porn’ and your regular pop-star shows that resemble a bit to it – and to me that’ was also kind of shocking since I don’t currently watch many movies or series and I’m not that up-to-date as to what is shown as ‘entertainment.’ So, overall I was examining the film and people’s reactions that I then reacted to on my own.  ‘Raising the bar’ is the expression that comes, the laxity toward showing the ‘hardcore stuff’ is probably a morality point I have to walk through since I’m not that familiar with porn stuff so anything to me already becomes ‘too much’ yet, this movie is a true story and I have no doubt all of it and most likely much worse things take place on a daily basis in the lives of the ‘rich and the famous’ or wall street brokers.

 

So, the movie in itself exposes the nature of who we have become as humanity to the extreme of greed, lust, addictions, sociopathic behavior, compulsive lying, egomaniacs and all the disorders that having money in excess brings in the mind of a regular folk that lives day by day desiring to be rich, which is virtually anyone of us.

What perplexed me the most was when some of the most excessive, nasty and brutal behaviors were meant to be ‘funny’ in the movie, but to me it was rather plain shocking to see what was it that was ‘meant to be funny’ when in fact, it was the depiction of human decay in the 21st century where there seems to be no bottom to the pockets of the rich –   and yes, I wasn’t even that shocked when watching something like Fear and loathing in Las Vegas – and this is probably because the people in the movie are our regular ‘successful business men and women that ‘hit the jackpot’ without the rest of us understanding how such ‘jackpot’ can really only exist by committing financial crimes which is making money in illegal manners that are, not surprisingly, accepted and allowed in our current system.

 

Back to the supposed-to-be-funny moments, I heard people laughing in the movies about it, as if the ultimate human stupidity that comes with feeding excessive greed is something funny – this is a movie theater filled with ‘VIP people’ or people with sufficient money to maybe think that they knew what they were laughing about because of having experienced similar stuff themselves, as if one could laugh about human disgrace. All of it: my own judgments and having taking it personal, like many other times throughout my life where I wanted people to see things ‘my way’ and if this wasn’t the case, then I would react.

Supposed to be funny moments - wolf of wall street

 

All of this, is my own backchat, judgment, over-analysis and the reason why it is so is because when I went out of the movies the first thing that I told my parents was: How on Earth can these people laugh at such movie? What the fuck is wrong with them?’ but, the reality is that I created my own experience, reacting with shame once again to being a human being, to be living in a world where the life of ‘the rich and famous’ is something I have accepted and allowed and previously even desired as well due to environmental indoctrination of how we are taught how to create a ‘dream’ of our ‘ideal life’ and ‘follow it’ until ‘we make it.

If anything the movie portrays the bottom of where we are as humanity, becoming the lowest point in existence from which we can only stand up, learn how to live and take self-responsibility or cease to exist. The problem is when an aversion comes up, generating this experience wherein it is easier to think about ‘having everyone erased from the face of the Earth’ than standing as solution. For a moment, I ‘lost myself’ after watching the movie, understanding that the reason why people find human decay as something funny is because most can relate to what this guy desired and lived like which is like an empathic laughter from seeing to what extent a human being can go to follow the carrot on the stick, and actually trick everyone while grabbing the stick and making it work at your own plus-benefit.

 

shock wolf of wall street

 

I understand that every time I react even the least, even for a short period of time the point is to be investigated and surely with this entire movie as a huge trigger point there are many aspects to it that I see I require to dissect in order to uncover another layer of what could be the shame or aversion to being a human being, which is nothing else than a smokescreen, an experience that veils the reality of the matter: I am part of humanity, I am humanity and creating a judgment, a reaction toward myself means I am still separate from what I have defined as ‘human decay.’

 

Self Forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with disgust and disdain toward the behavior of people that are rich and have ‘all the power’ to neglect who they are as living beings and as such believe they have lost all sense of dignity and self-respect, only focusing on following ‘their desires’ their wants and needs regardless of who they have to kill, abuse or lie to, without realizing that ‘rich people’ as the elite or anyone in a current position of ‘having more than others’ is in fact no different to what people with ‘lots of money’ do and think-like in their minds, which makes me no different to any human being that gets to such levels of human decay following the light, love, money, power which is what we all exist as every time we use our minds to think and only consider our self-interest, since all that who we are as the mind is and has become is nothing but the ultimate ego, ultimate survival system of ‘having the most’ to secure one’s ability to abuse others in order to keep making ‘more money/accumulating the most power so as to avoid having to take responsibility for one’s actions in this world.

I realize that we all do what any person in an apparent position of power does: follows the ways in which the least effort, the least responsibility and accountability can exist, where one can have ‘the most’ and ‘the best of the best’ regardless of considering at the expense of who or what one is getting such luxuries, comforts, treats and any point that one can buy with money in this world. I am equally responsible to this, since not everyone in this world can have access to such goods, not to mention the ability to separate oneself from ‘the horrors of the world’ by using money as a shield to blind ourselves from our reality, the sheer actual reality that we are separating ourselves from due to the ‘power of money’ which makes me no different to any other being-with-power,  regardless of the amount of money one has- that can avoid the harshness of living without money in this world, where some are not ‘recognized’ as  human beings due to being poor or being out of the ‘loop’ of the considered productive members of society or money-making-puppets that we’ve become, neglecting the life that exists in equality within all of us an only existing in the bubble of the mind that is constantly seeking self-interest, the most pleasures, the most ‘quality living’ which needs the most money too and within this

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to come to criticize money in itself and people that have ‘way more than normal,’ without realizing that the current polarity that is created between poverty and wealth is what I have come to judge and criticize, since both polarities as extremes are not what is best for all. Wealth can be seen as a privilege at the moment, but the more one has, the more one desires in the mind – so what I see is required of me is to not judge money, not judge comfort and luxury in itself, but rather establish that point of balance within me and so within others so that we come to realize how we require a sustainable and realistic living behavior, since ultimately in this movie we can witness how excess leads to human decay, the same way that poverty keeps a human being unable to develop themselves to their utmost potential.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create ‘aversion’ to what I perceive as greedy ambitious and lustful human beings corrupted by money, without realizing that money in itself is our ‘finest creation’ in this reality which exemplifies to the T what we are constantly doing to ourselves in our physical bodies every time that we participate in the mind, of emotions, feelings, backchats, desires, wants and needs, corrupting and abusing the very flesh and bones and every cell that we put through an excruciating pain every time we generate what we perceive is a ‘good feeling’ called energy, of any kind – whether defined as positive or negative – this ‘high’ that comes with power, with ‘having lots of money’ is not coming ‘for free’ and money in itself is the external representation of the abuse that we have imposed toward ourselves, eating away of our physical to feed the energy-systems of the mind, becoming our very own predators and at the same time  becoming completely possessed by that desire to have more, to ‘have it all’, to be all powerful and almighty, as the gods that have made of this world our image and likeness, the greatest decay, the most extensive separation that exists  within ourselves and toward each other, toward our reality, being a physical body that contains the life substance that is what is equal and one to everything that exists, yet at the same time being so separated, abusive toward one another and being willing to harm another in the name of money. 

I realize that the aversion perceived is nothing else than a smokescreen, a veil, a tunnel vision in which I comfortably exist within a momentary experience of disgust, disdain, aversion, anger toward ‘humanity’ or the general public that ‘surely watches the movie and laughs’ without realizing the obvious separation and judgment created wherein I take others’ laughter as an example of how indoctrinated we are when it coms to ‘entertainment’ and through movies pushing the boundaries of ‘what is funny, what is ‘acceptable’ to show on the movie screen etc. without realizing that all of this is the epitome, the creation of who we are and have become as human beings that have abdicated all sense of reality, where all that exists is who we are being directed by our mind, by consciousness, existing as programs that will continue resourcing energy from ourselves without even understanding how such relationship of abuse exists, because we have lived within the notion that abuse is pleasure within the frame of reference of the mind itself.  where any experience – good or bad  in the mind is to its benefit –  without realizing and understanding how everything we believe feels ‘good’ or is ‘nice’ is in fact the most consequential. 

I realize that within the extensive brainwashing that we are witnessing nowadays, a person that has only grown up watching the excesses of ‘the rich and the famous’ grows to see that as normal, as what’s ‘acceptable to do ‘ with money and consequently ‘power,’ without realizing that such move is in fact allowed without considering the relationship of abuse entailed with it and as such, finding it funny through how such depictions of a reality of excess are shown in the movies is then something ‘normal’ within our current mind frame where more and more we see the worst cases of human decay happening every day in this world, and most of it – if not all of it – being the result of having followed and fueled our personal dreams, desires that become addictive obsessions.

 

When and as I see myself reacting to people’s reactions by judging the reactions as unbelievable and unacceptable in terms of how I judge their laughter in a movie that I do not consider as ‘funny’ due to how I have judged the actions represented in it as rather sad, disgusting or shameful, I stop and I breathe. I realize that I then turn my own reactions as ‘truth’ as ‘how others should react to’ in an attempt to once again make people ‘think the way I do’ and so, when seeing that this is not how people’ mind operate, I react because I don’t get my expected confirmation that: this should not be funny, and instead react with the negative polarity to people’s laughter in this situation, just because I had already judged the actions in the movie as negative: disgusting, sad, shameful – without realizing that me judging such actions does nothing to change the origin and nature of what I am watching in that moment – judging it as bad, wrong, shameful, sad, disgraceful is simply fueling my personality traits as the ‘righteous judge’ that can point out what’s bad and good, what’s right or wrong, which is another trait of my mind and as such, it is of no support at all.

 

I commit myself to stop trying to enforce my judgment onto others, and as such stop my reaction towards others’ reactions when seeing that they don’t react ‘the same way I do,’ but in fact do the opposite to what I experience –  which is how I realize that when I am in the mind reacting, no matter how ‘subtle’ it is, I will always be playing the same polarity game and as such, I decide to stop any reaction or experience within me, and as such, also preventing any comparison in terms of ‘my judgment/ my reactions’ in relation to others’ reactions and judgments, as this only perpetuates the same problems that we see in this world where we remain divided and conquered, in our apparent inability to come to agree on ‘what is best for all,’ which in itself will be an entire process for each one of us to walk.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to throughout my life be very ‘vocal’ and ‘expressive’ about everything that I saw as ‘fucked up’ and ‘wrong’ in reality, in an attempt to ‘change others by witnessing my judgment and thoughts about the problem’ without realizing that only criticizing, judging, blaming, pointing fingers, becoming angry and make a big deal out of what we see is ‘wrong’ and ‘bad’ does nothing to solve the problem, but in fact it only perpetuates it further, since I am only using the mind to create an experience of disdain, disgust, shame, anger and general criticism without understanding the origin and cause of that which I am judging as a problem, and within this, I only become part of the problem by only adding mind-reactions to it, instead of investigating solutions within myself first.

 

I realize that no matter how much I shout, yell, scream and attempt others to see ‘my reaction’ to kind of ‘wake up’ and ponder their own passivity with ‘falling for the humor or good feeling’ of something that I have defined as shameful, sad and of utmost decay, I cannot change an individual only by seeing the opposite reaction to theirs, nor can I through my own emotional experience to how others think and react can I change others either. So,

I commit myself to be able to watch, read, witness social interactions, movies and every day life situations without going into this automated judgment of right and wrong, taking part in the polarization of society where we stand against each other in relation to what we support, like and prefer and what we don’t – Instead I focus on myself, understanding my own reactions first so that I am able to stand absolutely clear no matter what I watch, who am I with, where I am with and develop the ability to understand the origin of something, to relate it to myself, to stop any judgments about it and rather use it to constructively educate ourselves further about how we can change something in particular that we see is not aligned with what is best for all – and that will be an actual process of investigation: how we got ourselves to this point in our lives of maximum consequence, to see what has influenced certain behavior, actions, deeds in our race and so, without reactions or judgments, be able to establish a solution, which is what I am committed to doing here, myself.

 

I realize that judging, criticizing people due to the amount of money, power, superior position in the social pyramid does nothing at all to solve the extreme inequality we’re facing at the moment, nor will my reactions help others to look further into the problem either. I can only first ensure that I stop projecting blame, judgment, criticizing, getting exalted by witnessing – even if it is through a movie-a part of myself, a part of the reality I am collectively accepting and allowing, and that is actually fueled by the same thoughts, feelings and desires that we all participate in our mind whenever we seek something ‘good’ or ‘positive’ in our lives, disregarding what it actually takes to get it, who we are abusing to obtain it and how we impact each other’s life by it.

 

I will continue to disclose more on these judgments that come up at times, and that had become almost an automated-acceptance until I am able to be entirely clear and not have these fleeting ‘acceptances’ and excusing them with the idea that ‘well, I might open another’s eyes by me expressing my disgust about it’ because this only perpetuates the problem – and ultimately we all know that: that which we judge in others, we have to first take back to self.

 

Di Caprio crawling to car - Wolf of Wall Street

Bottom line: I suggest watching the movie to check your own reactions too

 

Vlogs:

Are You Ashamed of Humanity?

Economic Self-Education with The Wolf of Wall Street
Wolf of Wall Street Review and Response to Anna Brix

 

Blog:

152. Human Race Embarrassment: Shame on Us « MarlenLife’s Bloghttps://marlenvargasdelrazo.wordpress.com/2012/09/14/152-human-race-embarrassment-shame-on-us/

 

 

To stop judging humanity and start taking self responsibility:


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