473. Redefining Entertainment

Or walking a process of my relationship to movies and TV series into a supportive part of my reality and self-creation

 

I read a timely post on the Desteni Forum about media consumption – which I suggest to read through because this blog is a response to that – and I definitely got some points to share because I’ve been exactly on that same spot for a long time until a year ago or so.

When I first started this process, I quit most of the media: from TV to music, movies, series or anything of that kind. I was a bit too radical in that sense because I then judged that it was all just mind numbing stuff or of consciousness etc., which I didn’t realize were judgments and reactions to it all, leading me to judge people that would be watching movies and series and seeing that as a waste of time while we could be ‘doing more relevant things.’ However here I also got some cool support from Bernard on this and how I could not just focus on ‘things related directly to process’ or ‘focusing on changing the world out there’ all the time, but that there was a need for an equilibrium in my life in relation to this– and by ‘focusing on process’ I mean the very action of self-writing or self-forgiveness or reading/watching Desteni information only, or assisting others or writing blogs or doing vlogs etc. That is but a part of our day to day living, of sharing principle in this process from consciousness to awareness which yes, becomes a daily thing to do – but it’s obvious that it cannot be the ‘only’ thing we do or participate in.

In reality, walking process is a matter of living in reality, of self-creation – not only about ‘reading/learning’ information or writing or sharing blogs, nope not at all but it is about who we are and can correct ourselves to be in our everyday activities. Here watching movies, series or participating in anything considered as entertainment is then something that is not to be ‘given up on’ or restricted, otherwise we would be creating a separation again towards what is here as part of our reality, because movies, music, TV series, music are not the problem, the media is not the problem in itself – it is who we are and our starting point when watching/listening or participating in anything of entertainment that matters.

Therefore, after I let go of my restriction towards it all, I’ve realized how participating or consuming media becomes also a very cool way to test oneself in relation to reactions, judgments, characters that we can even develop while watching/consuming media. This is essentially something that I’ve begun doing more from the past two years, because I was the kind of person that was judging the whole watching movies and series – and consequently existing in judgment towards media and/or people that watched all of that – and noticing that I was creating then again a personality around it, as in taking a ‘high horse’ again of ‘I don’t consume that media, I can’t be entertained while the world is falling apart’ – that type of martyrdom where I create a ‘superiority’ in judgment of others as ‘inferior’ for indulging in it, which I have been deliberately working on to stop as a judgment and reaction within myself. Therefore I’ve been going out more to movies and watching documentaries and instead using that time and exposure to this media as another way to test who I am in it, seeing what kind of emotions and reactions come up or if I develop a character affiliation.

What is a ‘character affiliation’? lol – well I thought I had just made up that concept but now I’ve hyperlinked an explanation around it which is yes emotional ‘empathy’ towards a character. I wrote a blog exemplifying this precise experience when watching the movie 438. Louder Than Bombs

and one resonates so much with a character to the point of starting to generate the same or similar emotions the character is going through based on personal identification – example, me having a similar ‘pattern’ to the person on the screen and so starting to ‘see myself through them’ but not in an objective manner, but through/within the character, which is something that I then have to identify when and as I am doing this – which means I am simply becoming emotional – and snap out of it to then rather work on seeing what is it of that character that was ‘resonating’ with me, how are those patterns still existent in me and so how can I spot myself from living those reactions or emotions in my everyday life.

This becomes a very interactive way to participate in watching movies or series, even if they are fiction as well. And when it comes to consuming media like news or world info, I’ve also shared before how I relate to it nowadays, like in this one: 447. Interacting with the News/Media: from Helplessness to Personal Empowerment.

So with movies I’ve found that for example I’ve been able to work through my deeply rooted childhood fears to anything related to terror/horror/paranormal type of stuff, the thriller/supernatural type of movies intended to get one to boil in fear – lol, I can swear I would not have gone there by myself to watch those but for almost a year I watched several of those with my partner, every single time testing myself to breathe, to understand the fiction of it, how everything is orchestrated to peak one’s emotions and instead see what is of relevance in those stories, how the paranormal is exemplified in those movies – or mostly misinforming in those movies – and comparing it to all the actuality and reality of those phenomena that is explained to the T in the Paranormal Series at Eqafe.com and so rather see how we are also misleading each other with these kinds of movies, and missing out the real stories.

So! I actually have made of my visit to the movies something that has been supportive for my process in facing my still existent fears and reactions towards all things ‘spooky’ and definitely getting better at it, or any and all reactions to the plethora of characters and living situations presented to us on a screen because even if the stories are completely ‘fictional,’ they are still representations of our human mind, our life experiences that can serve as a way to see ‘where we are’ in relation to those situations/experiences and if it is something that still makes me react either in affinity or discordance towards a character or situation. Here as part of my process and self-responsibility, I can then make sure I get myself to clarity to place myself in their shoes – even if fictional – and understand that situation, and at the end understand what kind of outcomes would have been more suitable if implementing certain preventive measures or solutions. This actually has become a cool process when finishing a movie, a series or book to write it for oneself or discuss with others what could be re-written or how someone in the movie could have changed their fate if testing out this/that solution – of course this also coming as a way to ‘face situation’ in life and redirect to a solution based on the process and principles I’ve been walking.

This becomes also a way of expanding ourselves in relation to what we watch/consume and so it is not only a mind-numbing type of hypnosis that one is entering within a starting point of ‘evading the world’ or being merely ‘entertained’ and shut down all self-awareness through it, but it becomes a very interactive platform where I can go checking myself, my body, my reactions based on what is being consumed through my senses, just as I would with any other thing I participate with during my day.

Now on the field of documentaries, I have become quite an avid consumer of those but I also slowed down a bit because once that you get the basics of awareness of many difficult situations around the world, in various types of lives, countries, situations one creates an awareness yes, but there’s also a ‘gap’ that one can fall into because one tends to then feel disempowered when it comes to actually ‘doing something about that problem’ and one then wants to do something to directly stop child trafficking or the production of GMO’s or stopping corporate tax havens or change the prison system or educate people about how to eat better… etc. The list becomes endless and I did walk through that project in terms of watching documentaries or movies and making a commentary in podcast format so that I could have an outlet to share my perspectives about all of these documentaries or movies and so, promote a solution to that. All of them can be found at www.marlenvargasdelrazo.com – many topics covered there.

And it’s interesting to now write about it because I also ‘hit a wall’ around this point  last year, because I saw that in one way no matter how much I could advocate some solution ‘out there’ I was still missing something very ‘here’ as myself, something I can directly do with and by my own thoughts, words and deeds besides sharing a documentary commentary. And that’s where after some months of a kind of personal processing and transition I wrote out a sort of personal declaration of my intent with ‘changing the world out there’ in my blog 442. Back To Self: My Current Story which became a personal redirection statement within my process, which I also have to make sure doesn’t mean that I will ‘only’ focus now on myself, my mind and my life – not at all. I definitely keep abreast of daily news, stories, situations developing – documentaries exposing/explaining either the problem or potential solutions, but I keep myself very grounded and settled in realizing that after watching all of those either problems or solutions, if there is nothing in my direct hands I can do about a problem that say is happening in the slums of the Philippines, then I have to focus on understanding how that situation there is an outflow consequence of our inherent separation as human beings, of disregarding our very own lives as equal.

So I have to remind myself that everything that I watch is essentially an outflow consequence of who we have become as our ‘human nature’ in our bodies, in our minds and so in everything that we have individually and collectively accepted and allowed to exist within us, that then becomes or transforms into the atrocities that we get to watch or become aware of through documentaries.

I have been personally supported by ‘sensitizing’ myself through watching many, many documentaries on many topics, sometimes even choosing to watch based on the degree of resistance I would have to ‘learn about a subject’ – yet I also faced that same situation of watching them all and then perceiving that it is ‘unacceptable to now keep going on with my life and do nothing about those problems out there.’ And realistically, it is so, I cannot change ‘the world out there’ but I can for sure and by all means I shall Change Myself here, in my every thought, word, deed including what I decide to consume in my mind and for what purposes – to be clear in my starting point and so, use these points I become aware of as a point of understanding our manifested consequences in a better way, and challenge myself to always relate every single problem back to self, back to our own minds, back to our accepted and allowed limitations.

That has become quite more empowering to be honest and so, I don’t say ‘no’ to watching a documentary or become helpless about it afterward, I use it as points of awareness to understand ourselves as humans even better, to understand the extent of our responsibility, to place myself in the shoes of people’s lives this manner, because it’s the only one that is available for many of us and so, continue focusing on myself to ensure I am not taking a ‘side’ on what I watch, to understand a problem holistically considering equal responsibility of all situations and always reminding myself that such seemingly ‘out of our hands’ situation, will too eventually be able to be walked, process and corrected once that we work through our own self-responsibility in our own minds, lives and so in how we live and interact with others= this is what We CAN work on and focus on in our lives, what we can correct, align, process/work through to change, to better, to improve in our very own minds and so in our lives, to become a living example of a ‘changed human being that lives and considers what is best for all’ which in turn can create ripple effects that we certainly many times have no awareness happen or exist, but they do.

 

I actually wanted to share today about this particular series called ‘Real Detective’ of real crime cases that have been re-enacted and it’s focusing on the emotional experiences that  detectives have gone through when working with cases that affect them at a personal level and how difficult it is for them many times to keep ‘living their life’ while being consumed and literally obsessed solving some cases – very similar to the documentary ‘Into the Abyss’ by Werner Herzog as well as “Profilers, A Gaze Into the Abyss” which is by all means a very recommendable one on the same topic. And so one thing that my partner shared with me after we finished watching this series yesterday is that there should be a kind of documentary that can be a way to support people on how to interact with documentaries or series like that which cover reality situations and cases. Because he was bringing up how someone can completely see it only as entertainment and forget about the realization that this is part of our reality, this is happening everywhere in the world and there is a solution and preventive process to it.

So he started explaining how these series are lacking a focus on the human mind that causes both the criminal-mindset so to speak and the way that detectives could be able to understand their emotions and so prevent such effect on their bodies and their personal lives to the extent that it is shown in this series. He explained how it is necessary to have series that can now focus on how a particular criminal came to be, their life history to know more about their emotional and behavioral patterns and tendencies that they had throughout their life, the context of their upbringing, their parenting – or the lack thereof – as well as explaining how through an accepted and allowed participation in the mind within those particular ideas, beliefs, experiences and tendencies, they got to become the ‘monsters’ as they call them in this series, which also creates a one-dimensional way to look at crimes in the first place, which I ponder if many people also reflect back on this kind of series to also consider the human beings that become criminals and trying to understand them, so as to not simply judge them and create yet again another veil as an emotional reaction toward ‘the criminal’ or ‘the bad guy’ and forget – or not even be aware – that we are all ‘them’ and ‘they’ as well.

Here then is an example of how when walking this process of developing self-awareness – even when watching seemingly ‘mind numbing’ entertainment – can become a process of understanding oneself, of expansion at the same time where we can device solutions and considerations in – why not – creating our own media at the same time, because: we can! No one is preventing us from writing our own stories as well, so here’s a hint: if you don’t like the current fiction or entertainment because you see it is lacking real support for people to change, to thrive in this reality: start making your own in whichever way it is possible to you: from a blog, to a vlog, to a podcast, to reviewing movies which we’ve been doing as well in the Desteni Channel too, to writing your own books, doing your own movies or comics or short films = all is possible if you see yourself able and capable of taking on a project like that.

I personally find this subject of a prime interest in my current life because after focusing so much on economics and politics and that one field of our reality, I noticed that there is still a great lack of interest in people’s minds to anything related to money/politics and one then starts only preaching to the same crowd that only focuses on those topics. So, I started seeing how there’s a hell of a lot more people focused on entertainment, on series, on movies and you might not always be able to talk about politics with friends or family – and sometimes it even only becomes another source of disputes for the most part – but I am sure we can always bring up a particular movie or series we watched and discuss about it – bingo, it works.

So in my case and life, after having completely ‘given up’ on series and movies, I have been definitely watching many more movies and a few TV series, still also having to ‘push’ myself to do so when I don’t get appealed to it based on my personalities and character definition, I must be honest I am still walking through that – but I appreciate recommendations from people/fellow Destonians that tend to have a good eye on cool stuff to watch. So I’ve been taking some of those recommendations and verified how cool it actually is to watch stuff while remaining interactive, inquisitive, reflective about what one is watching.

Another point that opens up to me is the ability to be ‘closer’ to what is being presented to people as characters, propaganda or simply seeing what is being ‘propagated’ in terms of beliefs, morals, social norms, concepts, etc. Entertainment is certainly a way to ‘read the matrix’ if you will – or sometimes how particular subjects are approached, like in the recent series The OA and the whole relationship to ‘the afterlife’ which was interesting as well considering the information we have through the Desteni material as well . Therefore, through watching more of this stuff I was able to start relating better to other people through watching the same stuff they watch, to understand what kind of ideas are being propagated and so challenge myself to also ‘follow the patterns’ which has become a very interesting process as well for me to identify and be aware of, so as to not accept also indirect/subtle ‘brainwashing’ through entertainment, which is of course rife and abundant as well.

Therefore through stepping down from my previous high horse of ‘I don’t watch movies or series, I don’t engage in entertainment’ I have been able to take on quite an expansion around it and yes, directing myself to a personal project on it, so this point overall hits home for me and I’ve seen the importance of us all people that are aware in this world to not underestimate the power of media, the power of entertainment and how widespread it can be, from my personal perspective much more than a political party or economical solution. Here, I’m not saying ‘that’s not the way either’ but it is simply My personal point, positioning, location and a purpose that I’ve been opening for me to do my part on this regard, which in turn becomes a self-creation process as well to contribute something back to this world that can be a statement of ‘who I am’ and how I’ve learned to see and understand reality throughout this process.

I enjoyed very much sharing about this part of my current process, which I have precisely intended to do only in relation to the series Real Detective, but it opened up to so much more to share about my investigations around it and current location in relation to ‘media consumption’ which we can in fact decide who we are in it:  do we judge it, refrain ourselves from it, see it as pointless or meaningless or decide to watch, face that part of our reality, see what we can learn from it to correct ourselves in those same aspects in our day to day living – or even give one step further into deciding to create your own media and do it the way you see would be most beneficial for humanity, creating a gift for our current times and future generations to come since this is also an aspect of our reality to transform, and a very popular and wide-spread one therefore we can start taking the positions of author-ity in this field as well. In this day with the internet, having a blog or spreading your perspectives is widespread situation and no point is ‘small’ when it comes to spreading principles and awareness in relation to this process –  ‘social media’ must not only mean Facebook or Twitter, but actual sharings from peer to peer that assist each other to wake up and transform the way we live and see the world as our creation.

That’s up to each one of us J

Thanks  to Tyler for opening this topic up and thanks for reading

 

 

Check out these great sites for self support and self development :

• Get Real with Cerise & Joe

• School Of Ultimate Living | Facebook

• EQAFE.Com : SELF Education and SELF Awareness Store

• 7 Year Journey To Life Process : People Sharing their Processes of Self-Forgiveness and Self-Correction

• Desteni Radio

• Desteni Articles

• Destonians

• Desteni I Process

• Agreement/Redefining Relationship Course

• Desteni Forum : Discuss and share with us

• Desteni Wiki

• Desteni Español

• Creation’s Journey to Life

• Heaven’s Journey To Life

Day 58: Eternal Spotless Mind

When we deem certain movies as ‘our favorite’ ones there are points that we evidently resonate with. I watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004) once again after several years, and brought back all of these ideals and expectations that I had created by that time in relation to how I wanted my relationships to be in ‘the future’ when I watched the movie for the first time some 8 years ago.

The identification with the rather feverish girl – Clementine (Kate Winslet)-  that was a rather eccentric and over-zealous woman with lots of energy and pent up emotions was prominent. It brought me back to the times when I used to wear these bright colorful clothes and all types of funky jewelry along with eternal desires to get my hair blue or red,  which I tried to do some 10 years ago and from there I got used to the habit of dying it pitch blue-black, fucking up my entire hair for several years onwards, just for the sake of creating a certain image of myself. But, besides the girl’s character, the entire phrasing and attitude was something I could relate to. I was this energized girl that was pleading others to ‘leave my mind alone/ I’m just trying to find some peace of mind’ and this general dramatic self-presentation to always be able to have ‘something’ to be yearning for, thinking about and so forth as a means to believe that I was actually ‘living,’ while we are now realizing within this process that: we are not our emotions, we are not our feelings or any other general energetic-experience as the ego of the mind.

 

Then there’s the entire memory-drill within the movie about the relationship that Joel (Jim Carrey’s character) and Clementine had which is how I envisioned what my ‘picture perfect relationship’ would be like, having fun in odd and surprising ways that were non-conventional and having these two ‘odd’ personalities coming together as a couple. Hence all this movie represented within me was this eccentricity that I had built-up as ‘who I am,’ as well as the partner’s character which I also identify with in how I would feel like the over-enthusiastic one that had to cheer up and drag along others to ‘live’ within the same view and perspective I had of life back then, always trying to impose ‘me’ upon others because I deemed ‘my way of being’ much more ‘healthy’ than theirs, which was obviously not now that I review this point.

 

For the most part, it’s a cool movie  in terms of realizing how a relationship/ a person in our lives is only a set of memories that if we ‘decide to erase’ or lose, we can eventually forget about – however we all know that each relationship leaves like this mark or scar that remains there as a bunch of memories and even copied mannerisms, that we then have to walk as ourselves and our own process because it is aspects that we had separated from ourselves initially and sought to ‘fulfill’ or complete ourselves with in relationships.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that in a relationship I would have to gather the most eccentric memories and experiences in order to believe that we were ‘truly enjoying’ and ‘living’ and having ‘a blast’ within a relationship, often placing myself in certain conditions and situations wherein I allowed myself to be driven by the ‘feeling’ of it rather than considering the consequences and actuality of what I was putting myself through.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, till this day, remember only the good and positive things about such ‘fun times’ that I deliberately created within my relationships in order to mimic the way that I imagined my life would be in a a similar way to what this movie portrayed, along with the drama, the misunderstandings, the ups and downs and eventual reconciliations as the ‘happy ending’ that I also sought to get all the time, which  in no way matched the reality of relationships.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to make of my life with others a drama that would always have to become just like a script of a novel as all the books that I would read back then, which shaped and molded the ‘who I want to be like’ toward others, eventually creating all sorts of events in my life wherein I ‘knew’ that I would be able to keep them as these ‘memories’ that I could hold on to for a lifetime and call that a ‘living’ and ‘enjoyment’ – which is how I designed myself as a memory-creator and keeper as a way to confirm that ‘I had lived’ through experiences and events in my life with another in a relationship.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to be this feverish girl that sought emotions and feelings in a deliberate manner to be ‘inspired’ and have something to whine about in art or writing, which became a way to fuel my over-dramatic personality that was mostly wrought throughout my teenage years while learning through books, movies of ‘my kind’ what relationships were all about, yearning about that ‘connection’ with ‘the one’ and eventually experiencing myself in a relationship just like the one that made me feel all these fuzzy feelings in my stomach while watching eternal sunshine… and in that, believing that all my relationships had to be something ‘like that’ wherein we could have fun and do ‘wild things’ and ‘be happy’ while overcoming the usual friction and conflict that I thought was ‘normal’ in relationships, which also became part of the usual things to ‘walk through’ in relationships such as arguing in the car and leaving the house and being all dramatic about any slight problem, only to ‘forgive’ each other and get back together again, like a happy ending after the storms.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to adopt the belief that in a relationship one would Always have conflict and one would always be having these secret thoughts against the other and that it was part of ‘the game’ of having relationships, which is obviously dishonest and just existing for the sake of also getting a ‘kick’ out of the conflict as all the emotions and feelings that come when you are in a fight with another and get to enjoy that debate/ fight which became a masochistic way of keeping a relationship ‘standing,’ because the reconciliation would then be ‘even better.’

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to identify with the frustration that Clementine would experience toward Joel for having to deal with a rather quiet and introverted being that I would have mostly judged as ‘requiring some spice in their lives’ wherein I believed that ‘I could change the other for the better,’ without having even looked at myself and my surge of blasting energy to ‘live’ through experiences and trying to make the other see life the same way I did, which became a rather pointless effort to say the least, with both partners and male friends that were rather calm and ‘of few words’ wherein I would always think that I must ‘cheer them up’ and be the ‘sunshine’ of their lives, compromising myself because of this continual desire to ‘change them’ without even getting a look at how I had to first look at myself and what I was accepting and allowing to exist within me.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take this position of being the ‘optimistic’ and ‘feverish’ and ‘vibrant’ person in a relationship with males that were mostly ‘dull’ and ‘quiet’ and only after years eventually one of them becoming more ‘equal’ in such excitement – lol – which is when I started ‘disliking’ the other because I would no longer be the ‘special one’ that would ‘cheer him up’ but he was now becoming a rather positive thinker, blowing out of  proportion to the point where it got too cloying and pleasing ‘for my taste,’ which made me run away from it, without realizing how I had played out the exact same role in the beginning. In this

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to actually having been addicted to conflict in relationships wherein if everything started being all ‘good’ and ‘pleasing,’ I would get bored because of how I had deemed conflict as a necessary aspect to create this sense of the relationship being ‘normal’ and ‘working’ which was merely an addiction to the energy that conflict would generate within me – hence when the person would no longer cause conflict within me, I’d lose interest and move on.

 

I forgive myself that I hadn’t accepted and allowed myself to realize how I would seek people that had been ‘troubled’ people mostly in a way because then I would see myself as having a ‘duty’ to ‘change them’ and ‘spice up their lives,’ which is how I now realize that I was actually addicted to the energy that I would get from having to deal with conflictive people that were nothing else but mirroring myself back to the conflict I wanted to create and stir within myself in order to have something to be worrying, thinking and yearning about throughout my days, just like a movie, just like a book where a lot of conflict and eventual resolutions would take place as that happy ending that I would also run away from, because I simply wanted some ‘conflict’ in my life.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to also take the position of being the quiet, reserved and few-worded personality when being with a rather optimistic and cheerful partner, which means that I would act the ‘opposite pole’ in any given situation in order to maintain the balancing-act within the constant friction required to continue the conflict going on in my head, wherein I was never truly ‘satisfied’ with another, but would pretend that I was in order to keep the relationship going.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ever wish to have a ‘tormented relationship’ because that’s the type of stuff I would read and get the most entertainment from, which implies that these erratic characters that seemed to be in the brink of madness  were the ones that I could ‘identify’ myself-with, due to the amount of energy I was just ready to exert in one way or another, not really even ever being able to understand why I had so much energy to give-away and how this energy became the directive principle within my life, wherein I used popular culture as books and movies like this one in order to create/ mimic such events to live-out and believe that I was ‘living’ just like a character in a book or a movie, and feel ‘good’ about it.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to actually become used to this ‘tough love’ type of relationships wherein conflict and debating would be the way to ‘feel good’ about each other when we would eventually sort out the problems and reconciliation would ensue as a way to confirm that ‘we were willing to walk through hell and back and remain together,’ which is absolutely bullshit.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to begin relationships from the starting point of being willing to accept all types of dramas and antagonisms as what I gave myself permission to be acceptable within a relationship, because this is what I learned from movies, books and stories of people always having conflicts within their relationships, only to get to an inevitable happy or sad ending, just  like in the movies/ books.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become so used to the idea of having to fight another in a relationship, wherein I would maintain myself in constant fear of conflict yet at the same time, giving permission to it as a way to mimic the stories that I had read in books and movies, which implies that I made of my life a series of events that I could later on recall just like a movie that I could re-enact in my mind to get a positive feeling out of it.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel ‘empty’ whenever there was no ‘conflict’ going on in a relationship, because now I see and realize that all that I was seeking for was this rollercoaster ride of ultimate happiness and the direct opposite as conflict, anger, depression and any other emotion that I could use in order to deem myself as being ‘alive’ and ‘living’

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to shape my relationships and my life according to having ‘something to remember’ as memories of good times and bad times within relationships, as a way to declare that ‘I had lived’ and in that, get a sense of completion for the amount of memories I would have been able to store/ gather from my past as a way to define that I had been ‘happy’ once in my life.

 

I commit myself to expose the nature of relationships as conflict and constant friction for the sole energetic purpose that they entail as in stirring these emotions and feelings within ourselves only, wherein it is really never about ‘the other’ that we are feeling or becoming emotional about, but only ourselves as the idea of the relationship we have formed toward people in our minds, which is then entire self-created and must be taken self-responsibility for.

 

I commit myself to realize that all that I had aimed for as relationships was the type of masochistic and conflictive type of ‘tough love’ that I had decided to use as a way to ‘fuel my inspiration’ linked to art and writing, which had become the way to believe that ‘that was what my life was going to be about’ in terms of living like a constant drama, just like the stories of the romantic dramas that some of my personal heroes would go through in their lives, within this

 

I commit myself to expose how we as human beings get extensively influenced by the media as books, movies, TV shows and other type of ‘entertainment’ wherein the stereotypes of society are portrayed as characters that we then try to ‘mimic’ which ensures that the population remains in a constant continuation of the past, without ever really pondering ‘what are we actually accepting and allowing as relationships in the world?’ because that would lead to self-realizations about the unnecessary drama in our lives, and eventually get to stop the entire commerce and business that buying books, movies, series that portray these exotic and eccentric type of stories as a way to continue binding ourselves to memories and experiences and the entire ‘who we are’ as personalities as the ego of the mind.

 

I commit myself to reveal and expose how it is that the only thing that we are neglecting all the time that we are caught up in our personal romantic affairs and conflicts, is the physical, life that is being actually used only as a fuel to convert into emotions and feelings that we had deemed as being ‘life’ itself, which is absolutely unacceptable when it comes to realizing that: all that we had ever been is these self-seeking individuals through relationships that do not care at all about the rest of the world and the actual conflicts and problems that entail Money not being available for all beings in the world, where real problems are in the nature of starvation, poverty, illnesses, diseases, abuse, sexual exploitation and a massive industry based on this ‘love as charity’ that certainly does nothing to actually support beings in equality as life.

 

I commit myself to walk through my own memories of relationships in order to clear my starting point for and if there is an opportunity to create an actual agreement of self-support wherein no emotion and no feeling become the directive principle within such relationship, as I see, realize and understand to what extent I had given my power away to live through my mind, instead of living here as breath walking equal and one with another as a physical being, and not as a crutch to continue all types of drama and conflict to have ‘stories to tell.’

 

I commit myself to expose how we have become addicted to ‘having stories to tell’ as a way to define that we have ‘experiences’ and ‘have lived life’ fully, when in fact, it’s just prostituting life in the name of personal satisfaction as any form of good experience that recalling memories as something of ‘value’ within our lives  can create within ourselves.

 

I commit myself to stop all wars within me when being with others as I realize that this is actually self-interest that then becomes one plus point to the overall conflict and continual friction in the world that keeps this entire system ‘running’ on self-abuse.

 

To support and assist ourselves in Relationships beginning with our Self-Relationship, there’s the Desteni I Process course on Relationships/Agreements that is the most specific way to go dissecting ourselves as memories in order to finally establish life-worthy agreements that can stand beyond any energetic fix that we had become so addicted to.

 

The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind would be actually quite cool as ourselves, living here as the physical breathing beings that we are wherein our minds are finally quiet equal and one as the physical, without memories to hold on to, without futures to look up to and in that, finally realizing the truth of ourselves in such completion. A long way to go, but we begin here.

 

 

Blogs:

• Day 57: Experiencing the Sacred Knowledge

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2012 The Arbor: to Self-Forgive and Stop the Sins of the Fathers

I had disregarded the power that movies have to create an impact and awareness about the lives that people around the world are living in. For a moment it is a complete ‘integration’ within human beings’ lives that we tend to only see as ‘fiction,’ however this was not a fictional movie nor was it the type of ‘light experience’ you can actually relax-through.

This evening I watched this documentary/ film The Arbor which I recommend for various reasons. It is just like a movie made out of any of the current Life Reviews that are being published at Desteni, wherein the life of a human being from the afterlife is shared as a story-telling walk-through a human being’s life on Earth and the experiences they had which they allowed themselves to be completely possessed-by, without realizing that moment of self-awareness wherein they could have actually directed themselves to stop perpetuating ‘the sins of the fathers.’

This movie depicts how anyone can drive themselves to a breaking-point in their life as a series of chainsaw-massacre-sins, never stopping or taking a moment to see what consequences will a single decision have within their life and within the lives of those around them as well– but instead allow feelings, emotions and all forms of retaliation to unleash, eventually ruining one’s life forever – unless there is a decision to stop and self-forgive oneself of course.

 

This movie is not limited to depict a ‘woman’s story’ only,  it is the depiction of how the current monetary system is the perfect soil to create dysfunctional families, wherein all parties involved have a relationship of monetary dependency, scarcity and general limited living-condition. This leads them t  eventually end up dead or in extreme self-abusive patterns that can only be stopped after having gone through ‘enough’ of it, barely living to tell. Are these ‘extremes’ necessary to realize the problem we are creating and finally stop? No, they’re not – however something that has remained as a constant is that the human being won’t stop and take action unless shit starts hitting one’s fan. I’ve seen how we are mostly detached from social problems unless we are directly affected by them. Do we all require to go through extensive abuse before we act? No – yet we seem to be still choosing the hard long road out of hell, which is Earth – yet, it is not necessary.

 

This is a movie to reflect and see how the problems in our society are brewed from the starting point of living in scarcity, having parents that must work to place food on the table, get drunk to ‘heal the pain’ and do it all over again the next day. I won’t go into details it, I can simply say it is a must-watch to understand what irresponsible paternity leads to, how kids then grow up with an ever-increasing and fueled grudge toward parents, wishing they had never been born and ending up trapped in the same cycles they were brought-up with through their parents.

 

The abusive company – or absence – of parents within a child’s life becomes a stigma that becomes a definitive factor within ‘who they are’ as a personality and character in society. The stories in the movie tell about the two sides of the same coin, a coin that was divided and created by words spoken in disregard of how powerful they can be to destroy a being’s life if the individual allows it so. This is one of the reasons why Self Forgiveness should be introduced at an early stage within children, to allow them to see that no word can have ‘power’ over them, no matter who utters the words, it is all about who we accept and allow ourselves to be and become, which always must be veered toward a Best for All outcome.

 

Children end up living out their parents lives in one way or another, because ‘it’s all they have ever known’ – and just as a very fuckedup Stockholm syndrome – love within family is confused as this necessary ‘respect’ too keep a ‘loving memory’ for someone that wasn’t necessarily an example to follow – however any form of dignity or care that these should have toward their offspring is often simply neglected or abused, even to the point of indirectly killing them.

 

“The sins of the fathers passed on in a system of inequality, where each human is responsible for the abdication of supporting life before profit, by allowing a system of profit that causes a system of lack and thus frustrated behaviors that are the reflection of inequality as life is second to profit. The behavior of the father, is no different that an economic system that allows starvation, he shows us what we are by what we allow. We are all to blame.

Vote for a system of equality. Equal Money System” Rebecca Dalmas

 

The nature of relationships at a family level has not progressed at all, it is actually going into a devolutionary process wherein an ‘open range’ of ‘anything goes’ is taken as the new bastion for ‘freedom’ and breaking of ‘old patterns’ to further degenerative processes within humanity. Where is Self-Honesty? Where is the actual consideration of what is Best for All? Where is parental self-responsibility to ensure that the child grows in a supportive environment? Is there any parental-guide available to all humans at the moment? No – we are creating it, the same as proposing an overall system reform wherein all beings will be born with an equal-living access to everything required to live in dignity. No more family blackmailing or financial subjugation to another.

 

It is Not just ‘a Film’

 

The reality is that these movies end up only being like a really bitter taste to remain with for 90 minutes. The point is to not relegate it to it being ‘just another movie’ as these are real-stories that must be seen from the perspective of such ‘characters’ being in essence ourselves as well,  it is who we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become in this world, wherein family relationships, parenting and sexual-education is virtually non-existent.

No one is actually ‘trained’ to be a human being and deal with the most basic points  that we step-in in an automated mode within this world, which begins with family, then friends, relationships, sex, marriage and creating one’s own family which leads to parenting which must be completely reformed in order to STOP the passing of the same fuckups and ‘sins of the fathers,’  as everything that you couldn’t cope-with within your life at a tender age wherein mother fights with father and beats the hell out of you becomes a common pattern within human beings, which is absolutely unacceptable.

 

This can now come to an end for once and for all: investigate the tools of self support at Desteni, because it is only through us taking Self Responsibility for creating educational and self-supportive platforms as the world system that we can begin creating a substantial change within our reality, and toward anyone else that is willing to walk the same path of education and self-investigation to see where and how our primary relationships have shaped ‘who we are’ since childhood – thus how to stand up from that to never ever allow the same patterns to repeat again.

There is a solution and we are already walking it.

Self Forgiveness to make sure the accumulative effect of part in the world is always what is best for all, and that we realize we must expect the same from all other beings or we will be the slaves to their whims and beliefs and abuses through allowing it.

We have been warned throughout time that the sins of the fathers are visited upon the children and thus upon the world, but under the disguise of love we do nothing to stop the spread of sin as social disease making love a social disease as well.

Remember – self honesty is the most difficult thing you will ever face as it will be your own self deception as the part you play in the mess as civilization that you will confront and must change if you ever want to become a real living being. – Bernard Poolman

 

Support yourself at http://www.desteni.org

Featured Blogs:

• Honest Parent Self-Honest Parent. Discovering Common Sense Solutions. Practical Living With Children by Carrie Tooley.

• Effective Parenting Skills with Desteni I Process

• 2012 – The Dark-Side of The Fairytale of Parenting

• 2012: The Stockholm Syndrome exposes the true nature of love

• 2012 Gender differences and Violent crimes

and many more @ Destonians 

For self-support to Stop repeating the Sins of the Fathers from generation to generation and become the actual point of change that we require in this world to create ‘the future of the world’ in equality:

Desteni I Process and Agreements Course for Self-Supportive Relationships in this World

 

For movies and feelings that may come up when watching – recommend to read this and watch the video featured there before watching the movie, it supported me to not ‘give-in’ to tears:

Reconciliation! and other hooks.

 

Stories that tell what we have accepted and allowed as our ‘human nature’ with the necessary direction that movies definitely miss:

• 2012 Life Review – Life of a sin
• 2012 Life Review – How I ruined my Life with a Memory
• 2012 Life Review – What if?

 

Videos/ Vlogs:

2011 Parenting – YouTube

2011 Parenting in an Equal World – YouTube

2008 GOD as Man – The Physical – Part 15 – Parenting Children

2007 Shi 9 — An Alien View On Parenting Video

 

Examples of extreme parental negligence:

Child of Rage The FULL Documentary