Tag Archives: mtv

423. Proof that I’ve been Mind Controlled

 

Following through a bit with this ‘happiness’ redefinition, I would not have been able to be comfortable in opening up this word to redefine if I hadn’t looked at a key aspect that I’ve been noticing for quite some time in walking this process of removing/stopping past self-definitions.

This became clearer when I shared in a podcast I called Doing Good = Uncool? about how currently there is a tendency to deem everything that is rebellious and antagonistic as ‘cool’ and everything that is supportive, disciplined and orderly as ‘uncool’ – and the way I found out that this mostly was a personal perception is when I attempted to find pictures on Google images that would depict this type of construct or judgments upon what I had seen as ‘cool’ and ‘uncool,’ there were no pictures for me to depict that! So that made it obvious that I had to rather look at it from a very personal manner instead and ended up creating my own ‘picture’ to depict the kind of perception I had held within me.

 

Cool vs uncool

 

My previous attempt in life was to become what I defined and believed to be a ‘cool’ person, so just because I had gotten so much bashing/criticism from my peers while growing up for always being ‘the straight A’ person in school and so being defined as nerdy for that and ‘tight’ or ‘uncool,’ I focused on finding ways to shake those definitions off by being very specific in the type of ‘person/personality’ I would become. This is how I decided to pick and integrate aspects that I could deem were going ‘against the grain,’ so to speak, against the expectations that I perceived everyone had around me. This influenced everything of me, the way I would dress/look, act, speak, the topics I would bring up, the kind of books I read, the kind of music I’d listen to, the way I would relate to people, to my family etc.  And TV was a great source of ‘inspiration’/dormant brainwashing for that, as I have shared here previously that I mostly grew up watching MTV and so there I shaped all my preferences toward everything and everyone that seemed to ‘challenge’ the status quo, to go against the flow and step out of the ‘schemes’ in one way or another, or be intimidating toward others, as a way to ‘challenge the establishment’ or being in a constant ‘defense mode,’ which is a ‘trendy’ way to actually hide the fear that instigates these ‘hardass’ personalities.

Little did I know that this was part of a greater scheme of social engineering to have kids grow up aspiring to be ‘rockstars’ or ‘artists’ and had nothing to do or no sense of responsibility to this world, but instead define all things ‘rebellious’ and ‘antagonistic to the system’ as being super cool.

So, this is how I then became what I could define as a disciplined rebel, because it’s not like I started slacking at school, I actually proved that I could still ‘pull out a straight A’ without even studying at times, just by being very attentive in class and so using my ‘wits’ to challenge professors and classmates alike – lol, I was really in for being like a typical dissident in many ways and deem that as cool, even if for others it wasn’t, to ‘me’ that was the definition of ‘being an outcast’ and enjoying myself within that because of seeing myself as ‘special,’ as having ‘no trend’ without realizing it was a trend and it was becoming more and more common in order to get people reacting, being angry and antagonistic against everything and everyone, just to remain in perpetual conflict and never looking at solutions.

Of course nowadays doing this type of ‘dissidence’ has become like the norm and it’s no longer as ‘shocking’ as it was some 10 years ago, which is how I’ve seen a fascinating shift in the perception of ‘values’ and the role that the media/TV has had on twisting people’s ideas of ‘what they want to do with their lives’ and what they find as ‘cool’ or ‘uncool’ by imposing a ‘new’ morality that claims openness, sexual liberation and ‘independence’ but it’s all just a false idea of empowerment through antagonism – been there, done that, doesn’t work!

So this is why I then saw that everything I deemed as ‘uncool’ was in fact that which was in fact supportive: to be self-responsible, to be disciplined, to be non-antagonistic, to have a ‘clean’ presentation of oneself, to not be destructive, to not bash or blame others, etc. This included a very key aspect that had prevented me from realizing I could live the word ‘happiness’ in fact, because I had associated happiness with people being fully blind and not seeing reality, I deemed it as a dirty word that could only be used to define an ever elusive utopia that we were too far away from or impossible of ever creating even. I deemed that anyone that could call themselves ‘happy’ were absolutely disingenuous and blinded from reality. So it is in this judgment that I then prevented me from even considering looking at this word ‘happiness’ for myself, meaning investigating ‘who I was’ toward this world, how I could live it in a self-honest manner; I was in a way still holding on to the ‘image’ or ‘idea’ of myself as still ‘challenging the system’ and being cool in that, but in no way wanting to get to what I had defined as ‘being a positive thinker’ of sorts by talking about things like ‘being happy,’ or creating a ‘happy future for everyone’ lol.

 

 

 

All of these are just judgments and perceptions wherein I was in fact denying to myself being able to expand my living into seeing the word happiness and not link it to some nerdy-good-doer type of personality as my own mind construct, as my own past definitions that came through ‘judgments’ that I refused to be or become at others’ eyes. In fact now that I can speak about it and define me in the process of creating happiness within myself and my world, I no longer see something pulling out inside me as a ‘NOOO what the hell are you talking about!!?’ type of reluctant backchat that would come within me whenever anyone talked about ‘being happy’ or aiming at being happy in this world. A part of me really, really rejoiced experiencing and living in misery, gloom and doom which is a whole construct that I’ve been debunking throughout the years in this process, and along with that discovering what I was preventing me from acknowledging as part of my living potential, just because I had defined it as ‘uncool’ lol, and going ‘against my personality.’

What are personalities really but locks and cells wherein we believe we would ‘get out of character’ if we challenge such self-definitions and preferences and dare to think outside of our box – it’s really all a mind job wherein we hold on to ‘past definitions’ of who we are and in that we lock ourselves in one way or another from being able to fully embrace our living potential, which is not at all about being a ‘good person’ now instead of an ‘evil one,’ not at all –  it’s about recognizing words for the expression they are and can be when lived in self-honesty, and no longer about words that hold relationships to pictures, ideas, personalities or preferences as they exist in the world system.

 

In this, I realize that if we are to genuinely become the living word, we have to expunge ourselves from any limitation, any self-delimitation/definition that keeps us locked into a phoney idea of ‘who we are,’ which becomes a constricted character that is still defined by attitudes, behaviors, preferences, personality traits and so forth which are all part of the egos we believe we are. So it’s always a matter of asking oneself: what do I accept and allow to define me and my every moment in this world? What am I still holding on to with preventing me from living this word – such as ‘happiness’- as myself? Why had I defined this word as uncool and a pure sham? What am I missing out when dismissing living a world that is actually able to be lived and constructed in a self-honest manner?

Seems that self-sabotage is the only answer as to why we prevent us from digging out the corpses that prevent us from give ourselves a real blank-slate to create our lives, free from the past, I mean why would I want to hold on to an idea of ‘who I should be’? To be liked by ‘certain kinds of people’ only? Because I wanted to get along and ‘attract’ similar people – but would I then be even ‘attracting’ real and genuine people or only other similar characters that focus on getting along with similar characters in their lives to remain locked in the same characters forevermore?

Time to break the shell of one’s personality in all ways and challenge it further, and to me having to be speaking of solutions, focusing on looking at practical reality outcomes and how I can be a living example of doing this would have been like an ‘uncool’ thing to do in the past, because I was following the bashing/ rebelling trend, lol, not considering that I was really on my way to be a self-defined pariah that wanted to be special and ‘cool’ through abdicating all responsibility to myself and my world, because ‘oh it was ‘so cool’ to only bash the world and do nothing about it.’ ´

My suggestion is to watch out for this kind of thinking construct, even more so when this kind of ‘attitude’ is shaping lots of youngsters mindsets with ‘life mottos’ such as Y.O.L.O You Only Live Once and ‘living life on the fast lane,’ being the most ‘rebel’ and ‘darky’ and ‘antagonistic’ to precisely avoid youngsters genuine awareness of how they can contribute to creating life, a better future for all – and instead remain in an abysmal and gloomy outlook on life, because in that way you get discouraged from ‘doing something about it’ and so, it’s most profitable to seek ‘happiness’ or fulfillment through trends, drugs, partying and sex than doing anything genuinely supportive in one’s life.

And so, this is then a general self-awareness point wherein this ‘live fast, die young , don’t give a fuck about anything or anyone, do drugs, have sex with as many as you can and enjoy the rock and roll’ type of mentality is seen as ‘the ultimate cool’: It is not, and that’s why there’s such a vast amount of disarray and mental/physical problems in young adults that follow this ‘trends’ that actually start from TV, from so called ‘alternative books’ as well as it happened in my case.

 

Here’s an invitation to look at yourself, where is it that you are still a product of social-engineering brainwashing through the media and ‘culture’ in terms of personalities, likes-dislikes, preferences, the ‘type of people’ you’ve perceived yourself to be and all the points that go ‘against your character’ that you have refrained yourself from openly investigating. I would not have been able to get to this conclusion if I hadn’t walked the process of deconstructing ‘me’ as a personality and so link the dots to see why I had a slight reaction to even talk about ‘happiness’ before.

 

Life is not about becoming a character that seeks to be the ultimate cool and ‘rebellious,’ that’s the illusion of freedom SOLD as an EXPERIENCE.

Genuine and real freedom from mind control is to take responsibility for oneself, to actually not allow oneself to be brainwashed into ‘trends’ or following what the masses think is ‘cool’ which at the moment is ‘the masses think being a rebel is cool’ which is then of course not at all an actual ‘threat’ any longer, lol, it never has been! Think of the punk movement as being part of social engineering in Britain to exacerbate youngster’s addictions and dissociation from taking responsibility in their society, because drug addicts and an impaired society is more easy to control than healthy, self-aware and ‘unbrainwashable’ individuals, which is what we have to now focus on being and becoming – mind control is only possible if we accept it and allow it.

So, are you mind controlled?

 

Unhooking Past Definitions

 

Cool blog to read on re-approaching Happiness:

Why I First Resisted The Relationship of Happiness to Money – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 653

 

Oldie:

2012 Destonians Take Over the World: The New Culture of LIFE

 

Read people recognizing their self creation abilities – including the redefinition of happiness – in the 7 Year Journey to Life blogs

The Free Desteni I Process Lite course is a first platform of self-support to learn more about ourselves, our mind and understand how we can practically improve our potentials and skills.

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405. Culture: the Clockwork of our Psychosphere

 We may not change culture overnight, but we certainly CAN begin changing the way that we live and participate in it.

 

Continuing from:

 

  Seeing it from this perspective to me is quite supportive to ponder ‘twice’ any time I go to watch a film or see any works of art and remind myself that what I see is not special, not unique, it won’t give me a ‘breakthrough’ in itself and so stop for once and for all that ‘seeking’ mentality which is more like a habit from the past as I am certainly not looking for any ‘truths’ in it any longer once I have realized I created my own mythology with my art as well, without realizing that there’s nothing new under the sun and that we all use the same symbols and images so it’s just arranging it in a different way to create some meaning and give continuation to the stories – lies – we have been telling to ourselves as human beings to make us more godly or divine, at least that’s what the ‘art role’ was meant to be according to what is taught in academy. Yes, though once you start finding out the nature of such ‘god’ and such elites, well, let’s just say that art can be reduced as well to the most refined form of propaganda of course and now I understand why I had such a hard time realizing that all art had been previously entirely devoted to promote religion or immortalize monarchs or peasants to remind ourselves ‘this is how it’s always been like’ in the absence of the eye that can lie as well as the photographic camera, but hey every age requires its own cementation in our minds through pictures and words, so art served that function.

 

If anything, art has been used to impose symbols, to enslave – hence the ‘mythical’ start of it for magic-religious purposes. Gee, only now I kind of realize the pieces of my puzzle and the absolute diversion I delved myself into, no wonder I was seeking gods in pictures, symbols or philosophies – all part of the ‘inherent’ (read: preprogrammed) need to have someone/something greater than us to make responsible for this entire creation – so, religion is one of the primary mind constructs we all exist as, whether you are atheist or not, it’s part of the unconscious the same way that we believe that fighting for our lives is something that makes sense, or how the rich and the poor is how things have always been and always will be. Art then became the necessary imposition of images to perpetuate religious mentality for the purpose of pacifying/stupefying and sedating individuals while threatening with the ‘wrath of god’ if anyone dared to step outside of the line – well, it was religion back in the day but now it’s just alcohol, drugs, sports, entertainment and big pharma too, but that’s our contemporary story.

 

So, it’s taken me some time to find ‘more reasons’ to write about this art subject and it’s interesting how I had to use other pieces of information to break my own spell, meaning, having to let go of the idea of art as something ‘really human’ or else, as if it was more ‘true’ than anything else we do or say, which can’t be so, because everything we have ever thought, done, spoken comes from who we are as the mind and so we have only learned how to regurgitate the same ‘system’ into pictures, ideas, stories and so reinforce our own cages, which is why understanding one’s enslavement makes it easier to let go of anything one is holding onto from ‘the past’ which is the current automated reality we are living in – it is once again to remind myself that no matter how ‘majestic’ something might look like, it was never meant to glorify or represent life or principles of equality at all, but rather the opposite.

 

An example: writers were contracted to be informed about which topics to write upon, such as space travel, futuristic technocracies, alien invasions and so with doing this, begin an entire new ‘wave of thought’ in the society through these inoffensive tools called books that then eventually turned into movies. The same with films which are formulas to instigate a particular line of thinking and making of the main topics in them something acceptable as part of culture/what goes on in our minds as well – just as it’s happened with porn appearing on ‘mainstream movies’ nowadays as well as sadomasochism made ‘cool’ and we’re on our way to make of pedophilia and all kinds of paraphilias something ‘acceptable’ so that younger generations get the idea that ‘it is okay to have sex with older people.’ This is the current nature of our culture and where we are heading to.

 

Clockwork 2003

 

 

Once again, are we only revealing and making acceptable what always has existed within us as human beings, or are we instilling new behaviors through our culture? I’d say both since we create such fixations in our minds and we simply evolve the experiences to have new contexts, new ‘ideas’ to fantasize upon and so ‘upgrade’ the experience. In the mind we function as addicts that get our ‘fix’ from having something to think about or fantasize about and the initial experiences can get us to quite a ‘high’ but then, we continue ‘pushing the envelope’ because once the energetic reaction becomes normalized (you build resistance) one seeks a greater dose. This is what I see is what we’ve all been following in the media until it becomes absolutely unsustainable or else, what is left there to continue ‘pushing the envelope’ when it comes to our celebritism? To our ‘art’? to our films other than rehashing the same stories over and over again?

 

 

Why do I see this as a very relevant topic? Because I can see myself as a product of the ‘culture’ I decided to immerse myself in, and I mean this as an actual decision I made in my teenage years to soak up the most information about music, books, arts so that I could work on that – why did this happen? It clearly happened after 2001 and the almost paranoid reaction I had toward keeping myself high on CNN watching every detail and every move after 9-11– lol just like those elections where Bush wasn’t able to be clearly defined as the next president and you’d ponder WHY was I watching that? Well, it was my idea then of becoming politically involved. But after realizing the scam it was, I then veered toward that which I thought was more liberating: arts. My very relationships and career decisions were entirely shaped by every single book I read within the starting point of finding some kind of ‘truths’ in them, seeking to identify ‘me’ through the writer’s characters without realizing I was in fact absorbing it all to then rehash it in the form of ‘my own personality.’

 

The same with the music that I developed an affinity for, the stereotypes of individuals praised as ‘artists’ and how I also even trained myself to praise crap art (not literal though) because, well everyone else seems to also like it isn’t it? Lol like my ‘favorite movement’ Abstract Expressionism and Pollock – just praised alcoholics or junkies made stars on the cover of Life Magazine, upgraded to such stardom for a very necessary political move of that time when it comes to consolidating America’s position after WW2, and this would imply that  we only get to know of the artists that somehow have also ‘agreed’ to be part of the establishment – which from my personal aspirations of ever getting to that position means that everything has always been fixed and that no one becomes that famous without hidden agendas. Who knows? Maybe Van Gogh was made such a legend because of his erratic behavior and affinity for absinthe and so, he was made famous to begin instigating  more people to get into drugs to paint in such ways too… because let’s face it: we copy and integrate everything we see around us and if we see something that works to ‘get some success’ going, then we will try and emulate it because it is part of our preprogramming to seek such specialness and ‘uniqueness’ too, and some people like myself would seek it through artistic stardom, others through becoming a stock broker which means: yes, art is not ‘outside of the system’ at all, and the star-system is the learned protocol if one wants to ‘make it’ within the system.

 

 

 modern_slave

Artwork by JL Kenney

 

I actually decided in my early teens to watch all ‘cult movies’ because I was getting myself prepared to be ‘well acculturated’ and went from Pulp Fiction, Taxi Driver, A Clockwork Orange, Scarface, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Trainspotting, Reservoir Dogs and others..  you can see the constant topics there: drugs, criminality and ultraviolence and this is what is a ‘must’ in every movie along with sex if it is to ensure its success, a perfect carrier for imprinting new behaviors which are then copied by ourselves as if it was a mint reflection of our society.  When it comes to books, reading Burroughs, lots of Kerouac, Palahniuk, Coupland while listening to depressive music saying ‘It’s too late now, It’s the devil’s way now’ and watching people like Thom Yorke get ‘depressed’ in his ultra-famous lifestyle pointing out to us that even if you have it all there’s still that depressed state residing within due to being too aware of how things really work, or be told that Kurt Cobain committed suicide for hating this world and wanting to die – which I still consider he was suicided in fact, but that’s another story –  Well no ponder I painted what I painted, I just rehashed what I would read/hear/see around me: Culture!  And nowadays it’s stronger than ever to promote being dumb and stupid as ‘cool’ and having mentality such as ‘You Only Live Once’ and justifying any form of teenage stupidity because Hey, YOLO!  Or seeing the ultra mind controlled Miley Cyrus or some ten years ago Britney Spears breaking the norm of what a ‘lady’ should act/be like and continuing to push the boundaries when it comes to ‘gender roles.’

 

Entertainment was the key influence in my life throughout the time when I was developing my own emotions and feelings which is what I eventually enjoyed ‘losing’ myself into: as a child watching too much TV, as a teenager reading many books, listening too much music from which I learned more about the human mind while developing some rather unusual fascinations with everything that pointed out toward death and destruction, which I later on transposed onto my own paintings wherein I tried to also become part of the ‘shock world’ just because I was so much against what seemed normal and acceptable, so I found my ‘niche’ in society by everything that seemed to go against the tide.  An example is the time when I placed myself to watch some ‘cult movies’ like Pulp Fiction and Reservoir Dogs, I considered them far too violent and could not comprehend how people could revere it, however I then wanted to be part of that world, of the ‘alternative’ or the not so widely acceptable, just anything that could question or challenge what I deemed to be the ‘status quo’ or ‘what is normal’ but, I wasn’t at all aware how it is that these movies were made popular for the very purpose of making sex, drugs, ultra violence part of the mainstream and ‘normalcy’ in our consciousness. 

 

 

The same went on with A clockwork orange, I watched it a couple of times and walked through my own early digestion of the idea of violence being enjoyable for these guys and pondering if others were able to discern that such violence was not in fact something funny or enjoyable and that these guys were sick in the gulliver. However a deliberate problem here is that Kubrick didn’t include chapter 21 on Burgess’ original story, which would have given another twist to the whole plot and shown a real grown up Alex that had transcended his ultra-violent teenage years as that would have ‘broken the spell’ for a film maker that was also meant to create a ‘mark’ in an entire generation and generations to come with the portrayal of violence as something fun to do, aside from the mind control remarks in an attempt to ‘cure’ Alex’s problem, which also gives a hint of what Big Pharma means today in a ‘mentally ill’ person’s life: cure without ever pondering WHY is it that our so called ‘mental illnesses’ exist today more so than ever before, and how we could even legitimize it without any real means to test someone for it?

I guess I could write many things about all of this since it’s part of my so-called ‘visual’ education, but the point here is to realize that nothing is what it seems, there has been no real virtues in this world, we have never been actually alive so anything I ever had respect for of course was just a lie that I wanted to hold on to for some reason, which in this case it came through what I would read in magazines that was considered ‘cool’ and ‘cult movies’ and ‘movie classics’ which actually were on purpose made part of such categories so that any person would then have to watch those movies and get acquainted with the basics that make of Hollywood something profitable till this day.

Will I be able to see things with the same eyes again? No, once the lid is blown off, you can’t. It is no longer a nice story where Jane the girl in American Beauty that would kind of see through the ‘fakeness’ in reality, ‘falling  in love’ and running away with a drug dealer to ‘escape their reality’ I mean, it stops having such romantic twist to it – as I had defined it anyways, lol – and it becomes just another plot where those that could not ‘fit in the box’ become ‘outsiders’ and living in the fringe side of reality.  However I do like to keep watching/reading to continue seeing where and how we have created this mass hypnosis where we have essentially become the personas that we are sold in the media: this is the not so innocent and most pervasive brainwashing and as such, I see it is very important to become more aware of how we ‘entertain’/entrain ourselves, and not end up in denial of that which we wasted our life time on, as I did at some point in my life too when being in a constant hypnosis of watching music videos for example.

 

The point here is demonstrating how we have never genuinely created something that demonstrated an actual point of self-creation in our culture, and of course we haven’t done so because We as individuals have Never in fact considered such starting point possible within ourselves in the first place, to recognize the power and ability to create ourselves, to become better human beings. All we have ever been and done is to exist as the ‘created’ at the mercy of some invisible creator, repeating, revamping, rehashing what has been used since the beginning of time to revere its ‘unfathomable’ existence and creation.  It was in the repetition of symbols, myths & archetypes, ideologies and holy books, behaviors and morals that we have shaped ourselves around the same acceptance of oneself as the mind only and from there, confirm our ‘human nature’ and why we seem to always be so unfulfilled, so miserable, suffering all the time, the ‘pains of living’ and the ‘struggle’ to make a decent living… is this what LIFE is really about or is this what we’ve seen/read/watched it is Meant to be? We have only perverted, tainted and twisted it all further, enhancing our own separation, ignorance, apathy and overall self-destruction through the ‘creations’ we’ve pulled out as arts/media/culture – please see specifically now contemporary art/ post modernism of which I became just a part of by reproducing the same ideas around everything that I would imprint within myself on a daily basis for years on from the TV: death, destruction, decay, suffering, abuse, sexual deviance and learning how to praise this as some kind of ‘truth’ of an individual, almost learning to accept this bs as  the ‘dark side’ that we had to come to embrace and make it more evident to ‘wake up’ but, of course we’ve kind of remained in the phase of becoming enamored with our distractions, our diseases, our paraphilias and haven’t yet given the next step to outgrow it and realize it for the teenage years this implies when it comes to our stages of development as species. Sure, you can be mesmerized by how well done/crafted some works are, but again:  is the starting point of it, the essence  and intent of it something that I can consider valuable or respectable and supportive for our real development as living human beings, to consider what is best for all within the context of self-honesty? No.

 

All seeing eyes 2005

 

In a way it does mirror our reality. Contemporary art became garbage, literal garbage sold as millions, or canned poo which is the most common example of how this ‘devaluation’ or should I say the entire extrapolation of value became yet another cognitive dissonance and part of the plan when art came to form part of ‘desirable collectibles’ by the elite and making some pieces of plastic worth millions of dollars – I correct myself, billions of dollars such as Sotheby’s record sales of 5.8 billion dollars in 2011 –  making it nothing more than just any other asset for people at Wall Street to feel empowered with. It is also very cool for me to see and realize this, and come to see how all those books I read trying to make sense of ‘the movements’ or phases of human expression were nothing else but planned justifications to make it seem as some kind of ‘natural evolution’ of sorts, when in fact it has always been planned specifically to follow through within the context of how the world works at an economic and political level. Let’s not forget it is the current roles of curators and ‘art authorities’ that decide what gets ‘consecrated’ and what doesn’t –  just as in regular HIStory told by the winners, the side of the story that we are meant to adopt and accept as ‘how the story went!’ so that we keep feeding each other lies and keep revering our own masters.

 

IGod

 

 

The current success of our drugged/medicated, dumbed down, fame seeking population suffering from cognitive dissonance, while being dumbfounded at celebritism confirms the effectiveness of our own mind control, accepted, allowed and even praised. When we look at our culture, we can see nothing else but the fulfillment of our own prophecy for absolutely consensual enslavement, one that we buy and choose as part of our personalities and preferences, believing that we can somehow still manage to ‘feel special’ in a standardized society where even ‘subcultures’ or anti-cultures are part of the system, lol. From my own experience, it will take quite some time to wake up from it, as it just took me some 7 years to come to realize this because I had wanted to keep the little idea or dream that these artists were ‘special people’ that had have some genuine ‘revelations’ in their work and what they do, which is what I tried to be a part of, to be the one that could ‘see’ behind the scenes or have some special connections with god –  I am not joking here, when I started painting I also wanted to be the hand of god to reveal something special, lol. But, how could that be without even pondering first if the thoughts, the images, the concepts we had in our minds were in fact our own, including the idea/notion/speculation of GOD itself?

 

 

The same with architecture and every ‘majestic’ construction, of course it was built by slaves but I still wanted to overlook the obvious inherent purposes of such constructions as the physical consolidation of what ‘control’ and ‘power’ looked like, of accepting the existence of massive amounts of wealth to build for the elites, repeating symbols for thousands of years and as such learn it in our history books as if it represented some ‘great work’ or revelation of our ‘who we are’ as species – dismissing the fact that if anything, we could confirm that we have never in fact ceased to exist as slaves, but instead we were taught how to  revere our enslavement. We are all in fact experiencing Stockholm Syndrome and it is rather urgent that we wake up to see how through the seemingly ‘innocent’ we are driving each other to the precipice, starting with child consumerism and the archetypes fed by Disney movies, it’s definitely something to focus on if we can’t at the moment entirely straighten the rest ‘crooked trees’ right away, but children are of primary importance here.

 

I still find it very interesting when I hear someone say ‘to have thoughts of their own’ as if we had our very own copyright to everything we think or say, as if we could create words from scratch. We weren’t even aware how our tastes and preferences were being shaped by ‘the environment’/culture and our lineage/parents which means you would get into it no matter if you went to private schools or else, because having a TV, reading books, watching films, or simply being with your peers would invariably taint you with it.  Drugs were never meant to be ‘liberating’ but the other way around, they were just promoted by these people that told us to ‘tune in and drop out’ while hanging out with artists/rockstars and make everyone drool to such ‘lifestyles,’ never even pondering who was financing some of the greatest ‘rock bands’ in history and virtually any ‘star’ that we have gotten to know of. It’s very simple: if you become famous, if you ‘make it’ it mostly usually means you had to continue playing the role and tell the stories that give continuation to the agenda for further indoctrination and control. This is how we became the useful idiots as human beings that  in seeking for a piece of heaven as fame and fortune, one comes to accept certain ideologies and behaviors, sometimes it’s not even by explicit consent because we then believe that we can innovate by ‘pushing the envelope further’ and ‘be controversial’ or transgressive as if this meant going against ‘the core of control’ as ‘the system’ or religions,  but in fact it is another contained form of ‘rebellion’ to continue misleading ourselves from the actual sources of change, which doesn’t mean dropping the white dove to embrace the raven within, but the consideration of the starting point of why I do this, what motivates me, what do I get from it? Am I supporting myself within this that I am doing/creating? Is my intention to support others and myself through it?

 

Nothing of what we see currently as ‘mainstream’ In our CULTure is spontaneous either, it is manufactured, it is deliberately fixed to promote certain ‘artists’ or ‘artworks’ or ideas through TV shows, so it doesn’t genuinely reflect an ‘evolution’ because there’s NEVER been such self-directive change in our consciousness: we’ve always been herded/guided. And this is yet another aspect to de-mystify about expression and what has been promoted as some kind of ‘spiritual revelation’ in art itself or in Satanism as pop-culture is presenting now: it was never in fact meant to ever represent genuine self-expression, it’s only a chewable way to integrate mind-control and mind possession as ‘normal’ and ‘cool’ while sending any living principles out of the scene and made uncool or ‘old-fashioned.’ 

 

Sacred Mindfucks 2008

 

 

If I hadn’t stopped myself from falling down that precipice of the new age/sacred art culture that I was delving myself into some 7 years ago, I would have probably be enamored with things that Alex Grey’s paintings or aiming to at least be someone like Banksy to be an incorporated and revered form of ‘resistance’ to the system. Everything is literally ‘on our noses’ as the culture we breathe in and out every single day – and there was still a part of me that refused to entirely SEE this or more like placing it into words, as I was still holding on to keeping just this ‘little pieces of heaven’ as the ideas of who these ‘great artists’ had been, and ‘what great inspirations’ they have represented for me and yes I repeat, their work probably is/was or their ideas,  but of course it never meant a life-changing example but more of a conducted and deliberate plan to continue misleading from promoting or making actual solutions part of our ‘pop culture’ or art movements. This is why everything is so contained as if it was prescribed, it’s a preprogrammed plan as well and as such there was no real ‘innovation’ or real creativity involved but prepaid craftsmanship to advance and give specific morals, ideas, en vogue topics as the ‘new directions’ to our human culture and this is what I’m most intensely interested on these days: debunking our culture.

 

Maybe I can learn something from that Chuck Klosterman’s book I read many years ago Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs  to analyze popular culture and see how it is that our fitter-happier mentality in this capitalist ‘mediafied’ system is the ‘filter’ through which we create our relationships, how we interact with one another is entirely manufactured for a specific purpose: to become willfully ignorant and prisoners of our own diversion and distraction as we become addicted to what’s in the ‘psychosphere’/collective unconscious and be a part of our globalized mentality, which I don’t necessarily judge as ‘bad’ but only see all the points that would require to be aligned to be a supportive popular culture, and we are heading in the opposite direction at the moment.

 

So, one point to consider here is that this is in no way to blame those that apparently ‘set the agenda’ as ‘they’ were just part of the game anyways, but rather looking at how I/we accepted and allowed ourselves to become prisoners of our own diversions, of our own emotions and feelings, of our own minds while neglecting to really look at what is it that we are making of ourselves, what have we turned ourselves into and use common sense as a point of reference to see ‘where we are’ in our day to day participation: is what I like, do, follow, commit to what is best for all? Why is it that something as vital as politics and understanding of how the system really works never been part of our inherent ‘culture’? Why have we reduced politics to a mockery? Nowadays politicians seem to be more of a subject for reality shows with the same contest-like popularity mentality structure where one can ‘vote’ for the lesser of two evils and call that a civil duty – so why are no real definitions of politics as in realizing our power to direct our lives and so make effective decisions to benefit ourselves as society?  Oh no! That’s where the real threat exists! That’s why we are constantly taught to hate ‘the elite’ and ‘hate politicians’ and see them as ‘the problem’ while excluding ourselves as co-creators of the problem – that’s the Real problem in fact. And so the importance of always considering SELF-Responsibility in everything we might think or believe that only ‘a few’ are imposing ‘upon us.’ It is as simple as realizing that there would be ‘no culture’ if we – one by one – didn’t actively participated in it.

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I remember this text of about 50 pages on what ‘Culture’ is when I was in junior high school and now I would reduce the definition of culture to the industry of making behavioral imprints part of a person’s individual and collective identity for the purpose of maintaining old-age status quo with the appearance of evolution or progress while creating a paradigm of ideologies that perpetuate the divide and conquer mentality through the mechanisms of entertainment and arts, which are intended to standardize thinking, behavioral, emotional and feeling patterns in the masses. There has never really been an evolution, but only a change of scenario with words that would indicate ‘progress’ while missing out on the actual newspeak this ‘progress’ entails. How can there be any progress when we still leave out billions of individuals from having access to the most essential needs to live in dignity, such as water, food, shelter, healthcare? This is also to place into perspective in which kind of segmented bubbled mentality we exist in when praising the lavish lifestyles of our rich and famous while disregarding and deliberately ignoring the real problems we have come to accept as ‘normal’ in our world.

 

 Common Sense and Principled Living to consider Life in Equality and What’s Best for All in everything we do/act/speak is what we don’t yet  learn in school and this is why it is so important to start debunking everything we had used as an excuse to justify ‘who we are’ and our ‘human nature’ within ‘culture,’ because culture is still man-made, it is NOT something inherent to our physical bodies, it is not in the air we breathe, it is not in the food we eat – no matter how contaminated or GMO’d it can be – it is all about who we are in the mind and what we decide to participate in. Human Nature and ‘Culture’ have become the greatest excuses as to why it is apparently ‘impossible to change’ now, it is a comfortable lie we like to tell ourselves, so we have to being there before attempting to call others ‘liars’ isn’t it? That’s where self-integrity and self-honesty begins.

 

It’s time to debunk my own perceptions of what art was supposed to be and to understand that even if I had the intention to ‘see beyond the veil’ the very fact that I wanted to hold on to some apparent ‘good’ things I had believed were a virtue in some individuals and human creations like in art made me want to hold on to certain aspects of my own cultural conditioning from which I developed my personality, my taste in men, the lifestyle I wanted, the kind of music, TV, books and everything that I previously regarded as , ‘the who I am’ within the social-soup of reality which is the way I shaped myself to be as who I am as my mind. I bet that everyone can relate to identifying oneself to one character in a movie, in a book, or with some artist and even emulate the way they lived their lives or trying to mimic ‘how they got to make it’ in the world. Another example of this manufacturing of culture is how suddenly certain things would become available and so ‘openly’ talked about in the mainstream like with the hippie movement and psychotropic drugs, sexual openness, the apparent female empowerment and the tune in-drop out ‘living’ mode which gave another step toward the new age movement. Little did I know there was nothing really ‘special’ about that in the sense of human consciousness suddenly ‘evolving’ or us finding some kind of ‘gate’ to the heavens lol, but instead it is about seeing how these were specific experiments conducted by the CIA to precisely get an entire generation interested on drugs, spirituality and the ‘unseen’ as well as feeding addictions rather than ever getting closer to finding out real ways to make of our lives in this world-system better, such as politics or becoming familiarized with the ways the money system operates, who decides how we conduct our social-programs, why do we we even limit ourselves in our economic systems and so forth.

 

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There have been many, many things that have suddenly become a point of focus and attention in our lives, because it is constantly talked about of and/or advertised and so we diminish ourselves to be receptors and regurgitate what we watch on mainstream media, and then ponder why ‘everyone’s talking about…..’ similar topics. Well, there’s no magic in that. I made the experiment myself some years ago when I deliberately would not watch anything about pop culture, I didn’t even know who Lady Gaga was until late 2010 and dared to listen to the music, but before that I only got to know of the name and person through the covers of magazines that I would see while making a line in the supermarkets in South Africa. So, it is possible to be ‘out of the loop’ of course if you step outside of mainstream TV, radio and not visit such pop culture websites. However because right now we are so plugged into everything that is constant ‘news’ and celebritism, you get to know of these individuals whether you like it or not, it’s just all over and one can ignore it, but you can’t avoid seeing the pictures everywhere. So this is how we move ourselves en masse to keep enticing  ourselves to upscale our own obsessions and diversions from ever considering what it is that our lives would be without such entertainment? Maybe we would start actually focusing on why we have to constantly suffer, strive and really exist as slaves that only worry about money and fearing to lose our jobs.

 

It is essential to get ourselves out of this survival mode if we want to ever get to a point of providing to each other a dignified living, and most of the time we rather have a joystick between our hands or hypnotize ourselves with Netflix marathons rather than taking some of the multiple sources in the internet and start scratching the surface to understand why do we live in such a dog-eat-dog world? How have we created this nature of the system? What can we do about it? Which would in fact then be us realizing that politics IS what should have always been part of our culture, it IS what should have always formed part of our essential education: to realize each one of us has the power to create oneself and as such direct our reality in a way that is beneficial for all.

So, by saying this we can already see that we have been ‘living’ in a deliberately concealed or fabricated version of our reality to precisely Not dig into these topics, to Not see behind the glitter and glam that we are constantly fed with by the surreal lives portrayed on television.  So, this all indicates to myself that as I now see, realize and understand with more clarity than ever before, it is my responsibility as a human being, as part of this creation and part of the problem to support myself and be a point of support for others that also want to start taking the veil off of their eyes. This is the real apocalypse time, the time of revealing to ourselves all the lies we have bought and sold as ‘our culture’ for example, and how it is this very ‘culture’ that has become the very virus we all get infected with by getting high on the experiences we choose to get from it, getting lost in the fantasy realm of the fictions that serve for multiple purposes leading to a greater distraction and diversion from ever considering doing something more substantial to really change the world.

 

It is so true to say that the real revolution won’t be televised, and everything that once was ‘revolutionary’ or ‘alternative’ becomes mainstream and so gets sucked into the system again, nor do I mean the type of revolution with guns, protests and machetes – but the revolution of who we are as our minds. So, I do not actually oppose getting mainstream if these ideas proposed here start becoming the usual awareness of how this world really operates; in fact, the more and more we start collectively seeing this, the more and more difficult it will be to buy just any lie, to fall for the same Hollywood crap we are sold in order to upgrade and instill ‘new ideas’ of what we are meant to be thinking about now. There’s nothing new really, we have reached the end of ‘creativity’ and it is now the time to start creating a New Living Culture of Life, one where we make of self-responsibility a necessity to coexist in dignity, a culture of principles where we can support each other to live and stop losing ourselves in emotional mindfucks and enhancing our obsessions.

Our human nature has never certainly been benevolent, but praising its malevolence will only get us further down the hole. So if I see this, if you see this: it is us that have to change how culture is created nowadays. And how to do this? You may ask, well, it’s not to merely ‘change’ what is created, but changing ourselves, changing who we are as the creators and participants in this reality which will determine the nature of our creations, that’s the real birthing as life creative process we’re talking about here, and I want YOU to join us in it.

 

 

 

I forgive myself that I hadn’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that all aspects of what I had called ‘culture’ as a way to ennoble ourselves as human beings was in fact nothing else but the show off of our very core programming, all based on personalities that were in fact also used to give continuation to certain ‘phases’ in our own mind control or self-awareness diversions such as books, music, films that I once believed were a ‘reflection’ of ourselves –  and they are – however they also were in fact great instruments of conditioning and imprinting of certain behaviors and ways of looking at the world to the point where every person that has had contact with this ‘culture’ of watching movies or reading books or ‘admiring’ artists has had that point of self-identification toward them as if they represented something noble in fact to copy or integrate as a role model or something to aspire to – which might be in certain cases – but in my own experience this is how I learned to be comfortable with violence, decay and pushing the boundaries of what I would deem as ‘acceptable’ based on the idea that the more the envelope was being pushed within me, the more ‘in’ or ‘Avant-garde’ I could become myself, which is nothing else but just having pushed myself to make even the most hideous things ‘acceptable’ and part of subcultures which I did had a reticence to accept as ‘normal’ yet, because of seeing the amount of people that would like certain kind of images or personalities or so called paraphilias, then I believed that we had to embrace our ‘evil’ or our ‘dark side,’ and all of this knowing within myself that it wasn’t really ‘okay’ but because it is part of our society then, I made it ok on purpose so as to not seem ‘out of the loop’ with what my ‘culture’ seemed to be moving on to.

 

Something that I begun noticing from the time that I began watching cable TV which is 20 years ago, is that at least in something like MTV everything started becoming more and more outrageous to the point of scandalous and plain degenerated, however it was made ‘cool’ because of the idea of ‘art’ and ‘avant-garde’ and post-modernism and all of these tags that I actually believed were pretty much ‘in tune’ with what we are witnessing in our societies, not realizing that within looking at what was first the chicken or the egg, they simply represented more ways to continue ‘shocking’ ourselves and accepting violence, depravation, sexual morbidity, the lack of any values as something that was part of ‘my generation’ and so actually beginning to also see myself as part of that ‘lostness’ that was portrayed everywhere and the lostness that sought to get high, to have sex, to ‘live life’ through alcohol and feeling like there is no way out in this life other than becoming a junky or ultimately commit suicide as it was staged to be seen from some of our generation’s pop-culture heroes like Kurt Cobain  – I mean all of these personality traits somehow I felt Identified with it to the point wherein you can look at my book collection, and a great amount of them will have the topic of drugs, dharma bums, of spiritual outcasts, off-griders, shockers like Miller, Burroughs, Ellis, Bukowski and the usual Sartre just to make myself push my own boundaries. No matter how much they seemed to ‘tell the truth’ it could also be them supporting these personalities and making them ‘known’ to everyone else as ‘how the youth is’ which is a double way to portray reality and reinforce the same patterns/behaviors/traits which are not necessarily self-supportive. I didn’t find any ‘truth’ or practical self-supportive views on life in them – the same as with Coupland or Palahniuk’s book through which I would rather confirm my supposed state of ‘outcastism’ I caged myself in, no matter how much I enjoyed them, it was all just programming reinforcement – all of it just served as sugar for my personalities, to upgrade them and upgrade the addiction.

“Outcasts may grow up to be novelists and filmmakers and computer tycoons, but they will never be the athletic ruling class.”
Chuck Klosterman, Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs: A Low Culture Manifesto

 

There you go, our ‘truths’ made quotes.

 

 

Here’s to my process of self-debrainwashing:

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ever define myself according to the characters I enjoyed in books, the artists and their attitudes such as standing ‘against the system’ while actually denigrating themselves to a low-lifestyle just to ‘not depend on a government’ for example, which is just the same mentality of ‘the dreamers’ and the people that so-called could stand ‘free’ or ‘be the resistance’ and ‘never fit in’ through creating art, without realizing that this mentality of ‘the outcasts’ – of which I read several books on – the ‘rebels,’ the ‘anti-system’ musicians, the depressive mentalities that I became so engulfed in to the point where I missed my own life while just becoming addicted to feeling ‘down’ wherein I have found it difficult to allow myself to enjoy myself, just because of how much I reinforced my pessimism, my gloomy view on life based on the types of preferences that I developed as a child from age 7 and on, within the idea that this was the ‘cool stuff’ that I had to make myself like that ‘fringe’ side of reality just because I initially would be shocked by it to the point wherein I would go from the fear/shock to the attraction and then integration of it as part of ‘who I am.’ In this I was aware how I went ‘pushing my own envelope’ for the purpose of being special, being unique since people my age as my peers weren’t ‘into the stuff’ that I was into back then, which made me feel that I could see beyond the happy-go-lucky mentality and that somehow the dark and mysterious was ‘more real,’ which in a way it is just defining myself according to the good/bad essential separation mentality in which we have caged ourselves throughout ages, to always be in conflict with one another and within ourselves.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I was being ‘true to myself’ by being a rather pessimist person and with an obscure view on life based on what I saw was also ‘con-firmed’ by others like writers, musicians, filmmakers that I believed could ‘understand me’ but in fact we were all just acting out on our emotions and feelings and not really doing anything else other than what we were meant to do, such as feeling helpless to do anything for our lives and world, following our preprogrammed personalities while using ‘culture’ as a way to justify our copy-paste of ‘trends,’ personalities, ideas, beliefs, preferences and then! Even dare to create relationships based on these preferences, which is something I did and that I consider many people do, which is once again only creating relationships and ideas of ourselves based on what has kept the entire ‘show’ running as is without opening up real possibilities for change, because in holding on to this so-called ‘art’ and ‘culture’ I was in fact limiting myself from seeing the actual potential we have as real self-creation, which is then stopping following ‘the leaders’ and ‘trends’ that are manufactured or trying to ‘fit into’ certain personalities, but instead focus on changing the starting point of everything we do/act/speak on, changing our lives from copycats to self-creative individuals without any need for ‘external reinforcement’ to do so.

 

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to focus on all ‘the bad’ and that which I believed we refused looking at or realizing as a way to ‘wake us up’ but now, that’s also become part of ‘the norm’ and so developing a kind of ‘resistance’ or immunity to any form of shock, which is why I realize that utilizing images to shock even more is just not doing the work any longer. This is then about developing new ways that involve thinking out of the box as in thinking outside of the morality of the good vs. the bad and start focusing on living principles within our self-creative abilities.

I realize that in order to create any life-supportive art, the creator itself must walk through this deconstruction process him/herself so that one is deliberately then willing to contribute with one’s words, action to the creation of a world that is best for everyone as our common aim at this moment in our world. And this will imply also the exposure of the fallacies that we have revered as our history, and so forgiving that past fuckup and see it for the propaganda that it was as a creation of ‘the winners’ in the world, and so build a new culture of life that involves self-education, self-improvement through learning more about what it means to live within Self-Honesty and learn how to honor each other as life. This is not ‘uncool’ this is what we have pushed ourselves to see as ‘uncool’ or ‘outdated’ but that’s the key to a genuine change in our mentality and so in our reality.  We need books, we need films, we need music, we need plays, we need visual works that can be tools of support for this process of self-revelation or ‘the revelation’ process which can also expose the art of the past for what it was, what was its purpose, its consequences and so make each other aware that we have collectively used something as culture to continue ‘pushing the envelope’ and not questioning further the type of fascinations or addictions that we simply came to ‘embrace’ as part of our lives as that would make us ‘avant-garde’ or ‘keeping up with our times’ in the illusion of progress, which were in fact fabricated for the purpose of preventing us from actually focusing on that which matters, which is getting to know ourselves, developing self awareness and becoming individuals that can genuinely break the patterns from the past in all aspects of ourselves as there is nothing I can hold any form of respect, devotion or admiration from ‘our culture’ in the past, because we didn’t use it to share with each other how to actually live and become our fullest potential as species.

I now understand this ‘letting go’ of something that I had wanted to hold on to as part of my self-definition. And I can see that this is part of the ‘programming’ that I had to shed over time which in itself is part of my process in order to not only see it as ‘preprogramming’ but understanding how this culture that I had become fond of was never meant to support ourselves and each other to realize ourselves as life. This is what we have conditioned each other to by our own acceptance and allowance and such, it is now when I decide to understand more about the world-system picture so that I stop revering that which was never meant to be supportive for life.

 

 

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Support yourself to learn more about the Culture of LIFE:


404. Deconstructing Culture as Myself

 

As I continue my self-investigation it seems that realizing the fact that we all have been preprogrammed individuals following a very specific ‘plan’ that involved conditioning ourselves to become a certain role/personality in our minds and never question it,  wasn’t still completely grasped within me when it comes to seeing culture and how it has been specifically designed to support particular agendas that have led to various ‘cultural movements’ that within me I still wanted to believe were attempts of us as human beings trying to ‘break-through’ or ‘break-free’ – lol – but mostly managing to break ourselves further through imprinting certain behaviors, ideas, concepts, morals, ‘world vision’ that became actual distractors in the sense that none of these points would be useful or supportive for a genuine change in this world, but instead it was the patterning and standardization of what we would think, what we would understand as ‘freedom’ and what we would find entertaining or alluring in our lives, which is also containing the ways in which we see/define/categorize and think ourselves and everyone/everything else, which is mind control through the most ‘subtle means’ such as television/media/arts and everything that is usually reached by the average person, even if such person doesn’t go to school for example.

 

All of this was part of the ‘greater plan’ to be perpetually enslaved to our own constant desire to experience, to be ‘hooked on energy’ so to speak which is what we accepted as our every day living, our every day ‘drive’ and motivation to go to work, do the exact same things every day to earn a living and then come home and be able to relax while getting ‘updated’ on ‘what is going on in our minds’ which is what then becomes part of your passive indoctrination into new fascinations, new obsessions, new desires to consume, body types, new personalities, new things to essentially get ourselves occupied with in our minds which became a self-inflicted way to accept and allow ourselves to dive into complacency of how this system operates, since we mostly came to conclude that ‘As long as I can have my free time to do whatever I like doing to relax and entertain myself and those around me are protected ($),  who cares whatever else is going on in the world?’ – we even have gotten to the point of praising our enslavement by idolizing those that we have accepted and allowed as ‘masters’ in our world and gullibly thinking that we can someday reach/rich ‘that top’… without realizing the system is structured to not allow anyone else to get to such positions, but be constantly reminded ‘they can’ if they just hit the jackpot like stars do nowadays with reality shows, singing contests and whatnot. It’s All around us and no matter if kids are homeschooled, kids will still be having a TV, internet, peers that will simply be also the product of all of this so, we have to establish principles in order to direct ourselves within it and so the younger more impressionable minds too.

 

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In my case I linking what should have been rather obvious to me from the time that I became more ‘acquainted’ with TV at the age of 7, specifically cable TV and American TV Channels. But also from the books that I read throughout my teenage years, I was still holding on to them and the writers as proof of what I believed was an attempt of us to ‘breakthrough’ or ‘step out of the system’ when it comes to human creativity and other creations like music, fine arts, films – all of the ‘marvels’ of the world that I once saw myself being ‘inspired by’ in order to overcome my own inner conflict which was in fact first of all created by everything that I began watching on TV as I had no actual ‘worries’ in my life as such. I can say I am a genuine product of spending childhood watching MTV for example. So, I’ve been finding out how it is that these ‘artists’ were in fact used or let’s place it in a more tangible way: their own creativity was rather used in order to further certain agendas related to ‘pushing the envelope’ when it comes to instilling ‘new’ ideas, personalities, fantasies, personalities, ‘ideologies’ and even addictions within people, all of it paid with what is called fame and fortune wrapped in the package of ‘celebritism’ or artistic personalities or eccentrics that portrayed the apparent ‘perfect ways’ to ‘escape the system’ – to present the illusion of ‘yes, anyone can get to the top!’ or ‘Anyone can beat the system and escape!’  and bam! There I went, right into it as far as I could when I was into aiming at doing/becoming like certain personalities and doing what they did and living their life.

 

Now within this there’s also a point to consider how it is not only some evil cabal’s plan to complete their ‘great work’ and have all these stereotypes, morals, behaviors, ideas being imprinted in everyone’s minds through manufacturing culture and all of us believing that artistic manifestations were evidence of ‘man’s evolution’ – which in essence as such, evolution is just consciousness upgrading itself, which means there’s no real Self-Awareness in it, just new ‘trends’ that could be sold to people in an attempt to fulfill the constant desire to progress, to advance, to ‘become better’ – lol – not realizing we haven’t ‘evolved’ an iota from the moment of our creation, only the scenarios have changed and we have seen our ‘technology’ create the illusion that we have changed, but we haven’t, at all.

 So this is to understand that the history we have been taught in schools of course is taught by the winners, those that have created the wars and have perpetuated the idea of how a god would choose who the monarchs would be, and so forth – all of it which was usually ‘backed’ by the evidence of artistic creations used as another alibi to confirm certain theories of our evolution. But in reality, a lot of it has been transfixed in order to suit certain theories to, once again, advance certain notions of evolution, of real change and human refinement, simply to continue justifying what we have as ‘arts’ today which have mostly become part of the dumbification or downgrading of ourselves as individuals in order to promote carelessness, apathy, destruction, chaos, mental disorders, the destruction of any value or principle but only shock and disturb to such an extent that it becomes a ‘norm’ nowadays in what we call our entertainment, which is really entrainment.

Once we get to know of the actual history – through currently non-institutionalized sources of course – of how our culture has been engineered as a necessary tool of propaganda to back the ‘story’ of ‘how things are/how they have been’ and paving the way to ‘how things will be’ there is no doubt that we are continuing to lock ourselves in these ideals based on what we get/absorb from the media/environment around us, which is nothing else but the same mind patterns made ‘enjoyable’ just like junk food that one can get addicted to: it tastes good, you then crave for it but nevermind really getting to know about the lack of nutritional content.  In essence our culture has become the glorification and legitimization of ‘our human nature’ as ‘who we are as the mind,’ separated from reality into the fictional stories that we could spend our entire lifetime creating of ourselves as personalities, as ‘characters’ in our own ‘movie’ that we actually begun thinking we had to create as ‘our lives’ and ‘our relationships.’ It’s been very interesting to me to see my own brainwashing and how my own relationships, my own thoughts/ideas/fixations were all imprints that I took from music, music videos, books, TV shows and essentially immersing myself in a culture that I wanted to belong to at the time – American Culture – because of loathing ‘my own culture’ which is what I had then perceived as the low-life Mexican Culture and as such never realizing I was actually then going to be my own reference as to ‘who one becomes’ when continually watching American TV, which I did for the most part from age 7 till probably 15-16 or so.

 

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CULTure is the perfect way to entrain ourselves into consciousness, ‘what everyone is thinking about’ and ‘what’s talked about’ which comes in the form of our news, TV shows, movies, music, etc. containing components as behaviors, personalities, thinking patterns, fashion, attitudes, morals, obsessions, addictions, etc. – all of it having ‘profitable’ purposes but goes beyond that and into the necessary role of providing the ‘circus for the masses’ to ensure that this time, the Holy Roman Empire does not fall for not giving enough bread and circus to the people. One only has to have a look around us and see that it’s easier to talk to someone about a TV show than politics or economics; it’s easier to strike a conversation with someone about a movie than it is to discuss our emotionally driven tendencies to buy products as way to compensate for some kind of ‘emotional need.’ Culture has always been the way to perpetuate a mindset, a way to legitimize ‘how life is lived’ and ‘how things are done,’ what is ‘cool’ and what is not, which essentially consolidates our usually used as an excuse to not change ‘human nature’ – culture is its own PR campaign that we are then taught in schools as part of our history and ‘ethics’ so that we are reminded that ‘there’s ALWAYS been someone at the top of the food chain, there’s ALWAYS been slaves that are disempowered, deal with it, try to always aim at the top and enjoy the show while it lasts.’

Currently if one cannot see the actual agendas for further depravity, lack – because they were never ‘lost’ of any living principles and the ‘Do as Thou Wilt’ mentality to give continuation to our ‘age old’ culture, one must be very, very brainwashed – not to worry though, it’s not too late yet. Nowadays sexual depravity is the ‘norm’ when it comes to the idea of ‘sexual liberation’ and female empowerment means stripping down in front of crowds and being praised by millions as some kind of ‘queen.’ Another example is how within our ingrained desire to ‘feel free’ the idea of ‘the rebel’ or the ‘anti-system’ became part of the social engineering process to always contain and control any form of actual break-through within individuals, which is the predictable way of acting if you see that something is ‘not right’ and your are being abused, you then aim and attempt to ‘break free’ from the oppressor by opposing, judging, antagonizing and denying it, revolting against it which are all the ‘anti’ movements that have become part of the systematic and predictable antithesis processes to actually Contain the people within such stance/roles and behaviors for which ‘the system’ as we have all co-created it was always ready to thrown back some ‘solution’/synthesis to further control. It’s just following what Lenin said in the lines of If you want to control the opposition, take the head of it, and you can see that all ‘leaders’ and role models in arts and so-called revolutionary people have been also part of perpetuating the same status quo, even if they were not aware of.

 

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To prove this point in terms of realizing how our culture has not been one that supports life, I bet that you have most likely never seen a movie pointing out how life is not about participating in our own mind as thoughts, emotions or feelings… or becoming self-responsible, or empowering each other to become the actual directors of our lives, of how poverty could be eradicated if we all partake in political solutions – not just one lucky good-doer leader here and there – not at all, instead we create the opposite and as such, it becomes what occupies our mind at a conscious level, it’s what suits our ‘human nature’ which is that of blame, vengeance, victimization…  just look at V for Vendetta that became the brainwashing mechanism for everyone at Occupy Wall street believing they had some kind of ‘power’ to oust ‘the bankers’ while seeking revenge – lol, fascinating how MOVIES are in fact dictating how we even ‘revolt’ nowadays, isn’t it? Not to mention the masks that became part of protests since 2011 and specifically the ‘anonymous movement’ are copyrighted to Time Warner, thank you for your contribution to one of the five top corporations that run the media in this world – wink, wink. How have we accepted and allowed to become SO predictable and SO Brainwashed and still fall for it? Easy, the same culture has become the only ‘soup of thoughts’ we all swim in.

 

 

This is precisely WHY ‘going against the system’ is just becoming the predictable pattern within the foreseeable attempts to ‘break free’ from our minds which is just playing the role of becoming the dark pole to the white counterpart or ‘going in the opposite direction,’ confirming our ‘dialectic’ predictable mentality that was also part of what ‘great philosophers’ left on Earth…  it is really only giving a name to the mechanisms in which we operate in our own minds – no big discovery, only making visible what we already exist as in our polarity mind-constructs of good and bad, right and wrongs, positive and negatives caging ourselves into oblivion within Energy and the illusion of ‘breaking free’ – all of it being the ‘building blocks of the illusion’ that we can call culture formed by the massive distribution and repetition of ideologies, images, sounds = all created in and as the image and likeness of who we are as the mind and its mechanisms, hence the importance of knowing thyself and becoming Aware of what one thinks, what principles one lives by, how we created our personality, what are our goals in life and where did we take those ideals from? Why do we dress a particular way? Why do we like a particular set of movies? Why do we Feel differently toward things, people, places, music …. There are so many theories and attempts to debunk the origin of our culture and all I can remember from it is that as human history it ends up when ‘hitting a wall’ where no man has gone beyond – before 2006 – and attributing everything to god or a creator and as such, for example seeing the origin of art as having some kind of magical-religious purposes…. Oh yes, that means core programming for enslavement within the idea of ‘higher someone’ dictating everything we do and because we could not understand it, we came to draw it or paint it or sculpt it so that it would later on become our way to solidify the same plot of what we have come to accept and allow as ‘how things have always been,’ and even learned how to revere it as well! That is us at the dawn of our species, and that is still us at the time as well. No evolution has taken place whatsoever.

 

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Coming back to my own case here, it’s cool and rather necessary for me to debunk what I see I had wanted to hold on to as some kind of belief in ‘human creativity spark’ or a bit of ‘romanticism’ when It comes to human expression and sure, the works and creations themselves can still be very well done, but it’s definitely not something ‘special’ or as an attempt to ‘break through’ some kind of programming – lol –  it’s rather the opposite. Once one starts seeing and understanding the ‘big picture’ and how these personalities or built-up stars play a role within the whole scheme and get to understand who paid them, for what purpose, within the context of which agenda, any remains of romanticism or ‘out of the box’ hopes upon artists just goes down to the drain as it should, because it was never ‘real’ anyways, it was never intended to honor and support life, so why praising something or someone that I personally only used to confirm my own existence as a mind consciousness system that absorbed all of this knowledge and information to further myself down my own mythological rabbit whole? It’s pointless.

To me this is a bit ‘late’ to realize in my process with such clarity, but better later than ever breaking through yet another ‘layer’ within the experiences, ideals and fascinations held within me as part of ‘my personality’ created in the image and likeness of the illusion; what I mean by ‘illusion’ are my experiences, my own responses toward certain artists, books, films, arts in general which means, how I FEEL and how I would See myself in relation to ‘what is of this world’ and what ‘suit’ I wore most of the time to be in it. I also see that I can apply this same realization to any other point or aspect in reality toward which I had held some ‘special value’ upon and instead see it  within self-awareness for what it physically is,  realizing that there’s no ‘grandeur’ in anything in this reality at the moment that I could genuinely ‘praise,’ because everything that we’ve ever done as humanity and our ‘culture’ specifically has been engineered within the context of our preprogrammed reality, of revering the mind and system that it is in our outside world – but never life which is what I actually ended up doing for myself: I found ‘my place’ in the world in a comfortable cage where – If I had continued down my ‘preprogrammed path’ – I could not at all have affected real change, because arts as I now see, in order to become really ‘famous’ and revered, you cannot genuinely destabilize the status quo, and so all the people I admired and I believed made some advancements really only landed themselves in jails or ended up as drug addicts, alcoholics, committed suicide or fell for the path of fame and glory as it is still apparently ‘too hard to refuse’ when you can sign a pact with the devil to get everything you want and ‘make it’ in this dog-eat-dog world. We have all become preys of our own emotions, feelings, desires and wants, yet we believe that that is the key to a fulfilling life, to ‘get it all’ when it is in fact that way in which we are imprisoning us all at the moment, disregarding the fact that if I take more for me, I am in fact leaving another without any.

This is a lengthy point to me as I chose to and wanted to become part of culture as a creator of it, so I chose to study a career dubbed as ‘creator of culture’ which is arts, visual arts and for the most part I’ve seen how ‘arts’ in general are being used as the circus to entertain, to further decay, to instill new ‘ideologies’ and ideas with which we most likely end up much worse that we already are doing in our overall human decay we’re living in. This too can be changed and I see this IS the point I can certainly do not only for myself, but for anyone else that’s realizing the same propaganda-role that art has taken throughout our known history of it.

 

So, this is not over yet, it’s only just begun. I would actually challenge and/or suggest to you reading this to look at which character either from a film or book, what artist you idolized or ‘wanted to emulate’ for some reason and why, what kind of ideology from a certain movie or series you could ‘identify’ with and decided to make it your own by becoming/acting/speaking/wanting to look like someone you saw on the TV, a film, a book character, an artist, etc. The more and more we start considering the seemingly subtle ways in which our behavior and what we claimed to be ‘our own personality’ has been influenced by the media and entertainment we participate on a constant basis, the more we will be able to realize to what extent we are STILL accepting and allowing the continuation of the problems in this world by realizing that our current culture is not one of self-support and honoring each other as life, as equals – but instead we are using it to perpetuate and upgrade our own alienation from the matters that should have always been part of our culture, which begins with self-awareness of who we are in ourselves as our mind and How we are contributing to the creation or destruction of our reality with the ways we act, speak, think within our lives and toward others.

 

This will continue …

 

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Are you mind controlled? Test yourself here:


224. Cultivate Your Personality: Human Egoism gone Mainstream

 

Elitist Character: Cultivation of Personalities – Self Corrective Statements and Realizations.

 

When you realize how one is the product of our society but society exists as ourselves, as our mind projected as a conglomeration of individuals that attest to one another’s existence in a world where life is sold, you realize that invariably so nothing of ‘who you are’ can be real if it is only the accumulation of knowledge and information lived out as ‘who you are’ – therefore any desire to cultivate our wits, our egos, our characters can only exist if there is Money to perpetuate such selfish endeavor. That’s what we’ve become, that’s the foundation of our economy, of politics and any form of education that we’ve supported as our basic instilling of personality-cultivation in order to succeed above others – so, winners and losers were part of the scheme then? Yes, and giving to the least fortunate ones ways to entertain themselves with things like religion/ spirituality and entertainment. It’s rather difficult to go to a remote community – at least in this country – where people might live in poor conditions and not see a TV in their home, unless of course there is non of that at all and then we would be speaking about real people in real conditions that are absolutely out of our ‘scope’ of information that exists only according to what ‘the media’ presents us. Our reality has become as big as our screens and that’s as far as we’ve gone in terms of creating ideas of what life should be. Isn’t that the most limited form of existence? It is.

 

We’ve been watching lots of Derren Brown videos and I saw within myself how it is rather naïve how as humans we defend this arrangement of data as knowledge and information so seriously as ‘who we are,’ we walk throughout our entire lives to somehow ‘find a purpose in life’ without really ever getting any unless one makes it and lives it out. How could it be real if in one moment a person could forget who they are as in their own name, their entire history and ‘who they’ve been’ for others as well? Who have we been living for, is this accumulation of events with imprinted emotions and feelings everything that we are? Just pursuing some form of personal satisfaction and that’s it?

If a Killer can be made, then how come we’ve built our ‘fascinations’ around that which is carefully crafted to become just another form of entertainment for the masses? You can watch Derren Brown – The Experiments: The Assassin

So far we’ve lived that way – and it is in moments like this when everything is placed into perspective and I can see the petty battles to let go of people, things, preferences, the entire ‘who I am’ as self-definition, as if I had signed a contract to marry the artificial idea of myself. What’s more important within this all is how we walk our entire lives seeking a ‘meaning to life’ and that’s when we get lost trying to find meanings in people, spirituality, drugs, relationships, sex, money, glory in some form or way. Is that living?  Seeking and seeking and finding the next greatest thrill? No.

 

If everything we’ve become as our characters/ personalities ends at death, how could that be ‘real’  as part of who we really are? It can’t – it is real as long as we enact it as hypnotized characters playing out instructions given by the tell-a-vision, but I’ve also proven to myself how I can stop following along with characters in one moment and within that it’s like an actor revealing he’s only an actor in the middle of a play = breaks the spell of whatever emotional-feeling continuum is taking place. Do I feel more dead? At times it may seem like that simply because I had defined everything I was to a constant and continuous energetic experience, just like I programmed myself to come home from school and get out of the intelligent-well-behaved-responsible character and become the other me that few people really knew and listen to music non stop and solace myself with images on the TV Screen. No wonder I chose images as a career, no wonder I came to be fascinated for the things I liked and no wonder till this day it’s been a process to stop generating any sense of energetic experience about all those things, however, they are only relevant as long as I allow myself to be ‘in character’ to perceive reality from such an energetic-visual scope of view, which is how I can realize then that

 

When and as I see myself reacting with an emotional or feeling experience toward anything/ anyone that I had defined and cultivated as part of my fascinations – I stop and I breathe – I realize that I can only create an experience if I allow myself to be ‘in character’ to react to people, words, music, pictures, colors in a particular way that I programmed myself to react accordingly to. Thus, I understand that every time I play the character, I am not here, breathing as my physical body, and that any sense of nostalgia for the past that I perceived as ‘freedom and expression,’ has only been a set of preferences as knowledge and information that was available to me according to my social-status and money situation, to which I added/ imprinted a positive experience to, as a way to compensate for the dread of the days as my routine that I had defined as dull while growing up – missing out the actuality of living because all I knew was what I had and what I would see people would ‘live out’ as a meaning of ‘living’ – which is what was linked to libertinage, ‘expression’ in outrageous ways that were only possible due to money.

 

When and as I see myself seeking some form of stimulation either through visuals or sounds and or music videos for that matter in order to ‘relive’ an experience of the past – I stop and I breathe. I realize that I can hear the music however be breathing and enjoy it for a moment here, without downloading all the plethora of past-times as memories that I had programmed myself to always ‘remember’ in order to believe that ‘my life had been a Life’ according to the amount of knowledge, information and experiences I would be able to store as a point of self definition, as the character that I had committed myself to live-as for the rest of my ‘life,’  and I realize that none of that in fact defines who I am as all of that is not existent here when I am breathing in every moment as the physical being that I am.

 

 

When and as I see myself wanting to get a ‘fix’ of entertainment as I used to whenever I reach a point of dread within myself and seek to go to the ‘past’ as visuals, sounds, pictures to get that experience, I stop and I breathe. I realize that I have programmed myself to be constantly having a point to ‘look forward to’ in my life in terms of events, situations that would generate a certain ‘positive experience’ within me, and in this, never really living at all, but only perpetuating the basic mechanisms of self-indulgence wherein all that I cared for was ‘myself’ and that’s it. Nothing else mattered and no one else mattered but me, my entertainment, my infatuations, my own character evolution to get to be who I wanted to be, get the people that I wanted to be with and have everything that I had deemed as ‘my happiness’ – while doing everything I could to continue cultivating my personal satisfaction while In-Character.

 

I realize that if I had been a kid in a situation of poverty, I would have not known at all of any of the things that I became infatuated with, as well as those that I sought to deliberately oppose/ antagonize as a form of self definition. I Realize that the CULTivation of Personalities is only existent as a convenient entertainment mechanism in order to maintain individuals within this internal and external pursuit of happiness, while  maintaining and supporting the configuration of society  in a way wherein such happiness can be bought through products, artifacts, and expressions that are also the result of the same limited view upon life, which makes us ponder: how in any way could we speak about culture being important to humanity if everything that it’s been based on is  existent within this limited scope of who we are as Our Minds as the ‘intelligence’ that we believe is superior to all other beings while neglecting the reality that we are as our very own physical bodies and physical reality that is here regardless of us ‘thinking’ about it?

 

I see, realize and understand that I fell for the trick to ‘cultivate my personality’ and enter within a secret race to be the best, the most original/ authentic/ outrageous/ intelligent being that could be glorified for this lifelong achievements of accumulating knowledge and information within particular ‘sectors’ in our reality defined as ‘culture’ and within that, be recognized as ‘someone’ more than the rest, which indicates that everything that I made myself keen on was always having a point of self interest that lead to the same cultivation, accumulation and ‘capitalization’ of myself as a character that could be sold to any corporation or cultural institution as an ‘eminence’ for having had such a ‘fascinating innate taste for arts’ which was in fact not so, I did it all myself of course in an attempt to create a sense of specialness within me when compared to my peers – and that was it.

 

When and as I see myself seeking to validate my past according to what I know, what I own, who I have been, the people I’ve met, the places I’ve been to, the preferences I cultivated, the ‘achievements’ I had in order to create an idea of ‘having lived a life,’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that all of that can be gone in one second and still would not define ‘who I am’ at all, as who I am is here  as the physical body that is not defined any longer by a past lived as a series of characters shaped, formed, molded and adapted to what the entire configuration of our society/ world-system is based upon.

 

I realize that every time that I am able to stop myself from perpetuating the past as who I am in every moment, I am able to stop feeding the characters and the entire world-system wherein we always would end up seeking/ asking for ‘more’ in one way or another – hence it is a red flag point: when and as I see myself seeking for ‘something’ or ‘someone’ to get  a sense of fulfillment going into memories and pictures/ experiences of the past, I realize that I am not here as breath, but that I am only seeking to relieve an energetic experience that I can simply decide to stop in one single moment and step out of the mind character to focus on the physical reality that is here for me to participate in.

 

I commit myself to expose how culture as we know it has been the key to create a sense of ‘pride’ and ‘superiority’ as species within humanity wherein we’ve only elevated our egos to semi-god statuses for having being able to create such ‘marvels’ that we’ve defined as artistic expressions, but, has any of that in any way really supported who we are as physical living human beings? No.  Hence the necessity to stop deifying ourselves as our own grandiose life-stories of past events as ‘who we’ve been’ and start committing ourselves to get educated on everything we’ve missed and neglected while being infatuated and occupied in cultivating characters of limited and contrived expressions that were meant to be sold to the greatest bidder, feeding a system of abuse and greed as the highest acts on Earth.

 

I commit myself to clarify how none of our current ‘fascinations’ or cultural fetishes would exist if there was no media apparatus within our world-system, and that we would not have been continuing seeking for more and more ways to exploit this ego-social system, if we had not all been ‘globalized’ through our current means of communication which should and must exist for the purpose of getting to know each other, support each other to stop existing as characters that consume life, get to a point of self realization of the responsibility we hold toward each other and our reality and all the beings that we’ve affected the lives of in our path to this egoification of reality, and start living a process of self-correction in order to recognize once again what to Live in fact a  life in Equality.

 

What’s the point in feeding each other’s obsessions but a form of emotional/feeling dependence that leads us all to a point of madness in reality, the moment we’re not able to continue fueling and fulfilling such paltry experiences that exist Only in our minds. I Look at the reality that we’ve become: the media, the showbiz, the money biz, the politics, the laws, the culture, the insanity and all of it is simply pointing out: Red Flag, this is about to crash and burn, step out of it as soon as you can – however, we cannot step out/ escape from the system because we are it to the extent wherein it is stored in our very flesh and muscle tissue in our physical body, still defining who we’ve become until we decide to completely walk a process of self forgiveness and self corrective application in order to stop participating in such self-conditioned ways of ‘living’ which have never been life in fact.

 

The current dissatisfactions, frustrations, voids and giving up experiences that lead us to seek more ‘exciting ways’ of entertaining our lives, is only an elitist act that we ‘e indulged ourselves in as an actual luxury of being able to evolve our characters with weirder and more ‘specialized’ preferences as long as we have the basic needs at our reach. If we had no money, our lives would be different, I would not be writing here about me and my glorious past, but would be working 16 hours a day to make a living in the poorest conditions – or maybe even worse. And this is how it is only us that have the time and resources that must make a stand to stop feeding any form of self-consumption through the glorification of the go, but instead form part of the solutions required to be implemented in this world, wherein the lives of the people that Do have to work 16 hours a day is no longer part of the enslavement that we’ve accepted and allowed and neglected while pursuing our own happiness – it is our responsibility to speak up for those that Really in fact don’t have a voice.

 

Is ‘culture’ something that is available to All human beings? No – hence can it represent humanity in any way? No.

 

We’ve been liars and deceivers building a rosy type of reality upon the actual suffering and abuse that billions of beings are going through on a daily level – yet we filled our lives with depressions, fascinations, anger, frustrations, boredom and dullness as well as self hatred for being having just about a perfect normal life with little to worry about in terms of physical well being. It reveals to what extent we’ve taken life for granted, and to what extent we have only lived as characters in our minds, disregarding everything and everyone else.

 

I commit myself to expose the realities we’ve ‘lived’ at an individual level from the starting point of self-importance, self-interest and the ultimate cultivation of our own ego to remain divided and secluded in our pursuit-of-happiness bubbles we’ve defined as ‘our lives’ and ‘who we are.’

 

This is not living. Yet we are alive as our physical body breathing here can indicate us – hence there is some serious self-reflection to do in order to align ourselves to a physical definition of ‘Living Life’ and In Fact start focusing on that which requires our immediate attention, dedication and intervention, to first wake up from these mass hypnotic act we’ve all participated blindly in, and start waking each other up and step into the realization that: nothing and no one will change if we keep quiet about this, about what we are now realizing has been a lie supported by all and affecting all equally to detrimental positions that we are currently living in.

We are the only ones that can stop ourselves in every moment that we decide to breathe instead of being in character and focus on that which actually matters in our own individual realities and the world as a whole – it is only through deliberate care that we can in fact step out of the mass-media conditioning we’ve adopted as our ‘lifestyles,’ and realize that we can only continue living if we snap out of our own mass hypnosis and care to become actual living breathing beings.

 

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Tunnel Vision – 2012

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223. Selling and Buying Culture: Character Role Playing in Society

Continuing with the Elitist Character – Pseudo Rebellious Branch with a sense of Outrageousness as a form of opposing ‘the authority.’

 

 

 

Everything that I described in my last post was me pouring out part of the knowledge that I literally hoarded in order to become a ‘music expert’ for various reasons like: wanting to be a music journalist some day and being able to talk with people that would be equally obsessed with music and form relationships that way, which did happen.  These were more of the ‘long term’ goals, but as I was watching this all I was simply ‘fascinated’ by it – and yes, it is not different to seeing cartoons, TV series or movies or any other form of entertainment that is usually available in houses wherein you can afford to pay for cable TV and expand your TV-droning context of reality. Was I in any way veering my life toward something that was actually beneficial? No, just would go for the mere fix of the experience that I would get from what I saw was ‘innocent entertainment’ because of it being music, I wasn’t realizing how an entire personality was being shaped from all that which I would see and I can assure that I would have only evolved it even further if I had continued from where I was some 5 years ago – I am glad I stopped.

However, how many people are currently as young as 5 years old and dancing to songs by females talking about getting hot sex with their man? Hmm isn’t that a problem? What about all the soft porn that’s now being delivered in music videos? I’ve talked about that before and all I can see is that it is escalating every time, ‘pushing the envelope’ even further, every year doing more and more ‘outrageous’ acts and people defining that as ‘edgy’ and totally cool – well, if we look at the bigger picture, all we’re seeing is how as human beings we’ve defined ‘who we are’ according to what we like, and you’ll see how ‘what you like’ is everything you would get to know of from media/ parents/environment which means that yes, of course, there is no actual free will or free choice or ‘originality’ at all within that – and even becoming a character that opposes all of our current ‘pop culture’ becomes the necessary other side of the coin for the coin to exist. Same deal

Are we blind to see this? I mean for a long time I held all of my preferences as ‘who I am’ and wore them so proudly, because I had ‘invested’ on myself as a character in knowledge, money, time, relationships – I was just directing myself to ‘make it,’ and I guess that the most interesting aspect of that entire breakdown when realizing my personality was not special, unique and that all I was doing was trying to survive and aim ‘at the highest peak’ wherein I was only focusing on me-me-me and perpetuating this ‘good feeling’ as what I then came to imprint to virtually Anything that I would see, due to how visually stimulated I was with all those images I stored in my head of music videos.

Could I say that my ‘career’ was then my apparent free choice and free will? At the eyes of the system yes, but I realize it wasn’t at all. I conditioned myself to do that, I conditioned myself to ‘like’ what I like – stemming from fear and onto fascinations that would simply indicate one thing: the mind was being the ‘driving force’ of it all – not me as who I really am.

Any form of ‘social awareness’ would always remain there as this ‘nagging background’ that I would simply try and suppress every time, pretending I could train myself to ‘have a good time’ as one is taught within  your life: you have to have good times, have fun, spend your money well, etc. But, as I grew older I just turned sadder. My refugee became music which became also sadder and in no way supportive. I turned to books only to feed the fascinations I had gotten from the TV. Where was I as the living being all that time? Nowhere to be found.

This is how important it is to address the problem with allowing our current culture wherein everything that we are as physical beings is reduced to personalities/ characters that are able to interact with each other based on the equal premise of cultivating Ego as ‘who we are.’ At some point I realized it was weird  how when we meet someone, we profile them according to stereotypes that we would acquire from the media and then, we would decide Who we are toward them in a blatant acceptance or rejection, never seeing the being as an equal human being, but immediately reducing ourselves and others to Characters. I for sure cultivated this desire to be a specific character only to attract people with similar personalities and feel ‘at ease’ within my set of preferences = people that could support my design. Yep, image/ego/ idea of self – is that real? No, proof is that I am here as a human being that has been persistently walking a process of aligning all aspect I was once infatuated with in terms of this ‘artistic personality,’ and I’m still alive, living in simplicity and not any longer evolving that same character that sought some form of outrageous stardom in anyway I could.

 

This entire aspect of ‘pop culture’ has been an object of study due to seeing how any form of human integrity was more and more dissolved in order to justify an apparent ‘open mindedness’ that leads to further self-infatuation in energetic experiences of loving and hating, desiring and fearing which are basic primary and rather obvious mechanisms in which we’ve learned we could separate each other and proclaim a sense of ‘freedom’ within it all. Again, necessary to watch The Century of Self to understand where this all comes from.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to never consider that I was only able to be and become ‘who I am’ as a personality due to having enough money to live well, have an education and entertainment wherein I could spend my days cultivating my mind as my preferences, likes and dislikes without ever questioning how it is that I am able to do this, but anyone else having no money, no TV and no time for ‘entertainment’ could not in any way even dedicate themselves to ponder about ‘personalities’ and cultivating ‘characters’ that certainly Do require money to exist and form part what is acceptable or not acceptable in our society, which proves that anything that I have cultivated as ‘who I am’ is only the result of money – period.

Having this premise in place, I can now within this blatant acceptance and allowance of self interest to run as ‘who  I am’ due to the security and ability I had to do so because of growing up in a family with enough money to live well, I can proceed to self forgive the characters I’ve become and supported within this vantage point of a limited version of reality as entertainment/ media and personality-cults that I came to be ‘fascinated’ by only as a mind experience that I sought to equate myself to – hence

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to desire equating myself to characters that would trigger the most ‘excitement’ and ‘enjoyment’ within me as an energetic experience based on images, words, pictures, sounds that I came to shape as ‘what I like,’ not realizing that these ‘likes’ and preferences were only the result of me identifying all of this to a ‘good time’ and entertainment, which became a rather influential aspect of ‘who I am’ without ever wanting to actually admit how everything that I believed myself to be special or unique for, was only the result of my own deliberate participation in patterns and behaviors that would stand out of the ‘usual’ and as such, create a sense of separation from what I defined as ‘the herd’ as the rest of the people that I would secretly continually judge/ oppose/ criticize and essentially ‘inferiorize’ within this sense of ‘freedom and expression’ that I learned to cultivate based on characters on a screen.

 

I Forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to simply absorb all the pictures,  sounds, people’s personalities and everything that I would consider as ‘music on TV’ while growing up wherein I believed that I was being special and unique for liking all of that stuff, evolving my desire to be an ‘antagonist’ within my environment within this same desire to be special and in that, learning how to Cultivate my ego, imprinting behaviors, words, mannerisms, ways of looking, talking and relating to others based on what I would witness from people on MTV – specifically – never realizing or even questioning why it is that these personalities were being deliberately placed on TV, but instead only absorbing them all and forming the ‘who I am’ as the preferences toward particular kind of music, looks, people, appearances, ways of behaving, acting, relating to the world etc., wherein

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ever idolize people that I would watch on MTV with such obsessive behavior that I would only feed myself with their words and images as a way to ‘become’ them and be already preparing the ‘who I wanted to be when I grow up’ as early as 10 years old, which indicates that the role models I had were based on these ‘media characters’ that were designed and allowed specifically to guide or direct the population to focus Only on these ‘future life aspirations’ of being/ becoming characters like our ‘idols’ as musicians/ artists and as such, be always entertained with that and diverting our attention by our own decision and ‘will’ to only focus on entertainment/ personalities that would instigate a desire and a ‘feel good’ experience for all they represented as being ‘free’ and ‘expressive,’ which in my case became an aspect I longed to be and become and eventually did based on copying mechanisms from these roles in media.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to deliberately lead myself to like that which was the most shocking or feared by ‘others,’ in order to create a point of antagonism, rebellion or simply ‘pushing the envelope further’ within my reality, wherein there was a sense of specialness and uniqueness for being a ‘young child’ and already knowing about that which only teenagers should be talking about, which then became an entire personality imprint of wanting to hang out with older people and diminishing people my age to being ‘too immature’ for my age, but all that happened is that I deliberately sought to be ‘out of the herd’ by liking what I deemed to be ‘unusual’ at the time – all of this becoming nothing else but a constant and continuous forming, shaping and molding of my own personality at a young age.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that I had a ‘natural likeness’ toward the things that I believed I liked, not realizing how I created such likeness according to the frequency I would expose myself to a plethora of images and sounds that became part of ‘what I like’ based on basic self-conditioning to only expose myself to this particular media on a daily basis.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to accept the belief that I had to build/ construct the most ‘awesome’ personality that I could in order to be that which I wanted to be/ become based on characters I would see on TV, mostly musicians that I had defined as ‘free, expressive’ people, and some of them even intelligent, which is an aspect that lead me to ‘be fond of’ particular characters in pop culture based on words, but in terms of them in any way being an actual example of how to live as a human being regarding life in equality: there was Nothing of that at all, which indicates that intelligence or any form of common sense was also veered only toward a self-appraisal and in no way being an actual role model to follows as an example of what it was to live –  Even more so when understanding how this apparent ‘depth’ in their words was mostly drug induced – which is the pointer that will be discussed in posts to come.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to never question why this ‘open minded people’ – according to me – were being broadly supported and broadcasted on TV if they were too shocking or too ‘insane’ to be portrayed on TV, not realizing that it was all part of the same mechanism within his world wherein no matter What you sell, but as long as it Sells = then it gets to the mainstream. I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that the reason why people were famous was because of real hard work, which can be a result of perseverance, but also in one way or another satisfying the industry’s basic need to generate money – within this

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to never see that there was no ‘filtering’ within what’s being sold and broadly promoted in our reality, and that we are in fact the result of being sold virtually Anything for the sake of experiencing a sense of freedom, enjoyment or personality cultivation, when in fact it all being sold just as characters that we  could idolize/ create relationships with others based on such ‘preferences’ which is nothing else but another way of conditioning the masses to become particular characters that in one way or another became less interested in actual matters in the world and would be more and more infatuated with personal cultivation of the senses – hedonism – as well as dreaming of that which is mostly unattainable for the majority of the population, which is dreams of fame and fortune – therefore

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that I had a sense of power, freedom of choice and free will when deciding to be/ become ‘fond of music’ and specific visual arts, not realizing how this was just an inevitable outflow due to my constant participation in pictures as ‘what I like’ and this likeness being linked to a positive energetic experience in my mind, never ever being or becoming aware of myself, the world, the actual problems that we are facing as humanity and that define our entire ability to exist.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to be brainwashed with this believed ‘righteousness’ to have a particular set of preferences that I cultivated throughout my life within things like music or art, wherein the possibilities of what I could were reduced to only ‘artistic’ careers and neglecting any other skill or capability I could have developed based on me deciding to study art based on preference, not skills and not an actual informed decision, but ‘following my dreams.’

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to within this entire personality cultivation that I lived in and by throughout my life, I learned to only ‘get along’ with people that would support Me and my ‘fascinations,’ or that would in any way resemble them, which is how I created desires/ wants and needs based on that which was mostly seen as inappropriate or not broadly acceptable in society, becoming the necessary ‘antagonist’ character in my reality in order to fuel further friction and conflict within my world/ reality – which was home, my peers – and taking pride on that just as another character that becomes proud of the extent and amount of knowledge and information that has been carefully tailored as one’s personality, which I became aware of was my ‘driving force’ to continue existing: just evolving my character and personality in order to get the most satisfaction every time.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to idolize other human beings based on the characters they represented wherein I would be mesmerized by their words, looks, behavior and accordingly, ‘do my best’ to try and become something similar to that in order to get to equate myself to that single character that I believed was ‘superior’ than myself. Within this never realizing or questioning how this entire culture is based on this personality cultivation as the real cult-formation that we are taught we must follow through within our lives, wherein me choosing a rather ‘antagonistic character’ was nothing special or unique, but only a single way to perpetuate my self-created ideals of specialness and uniqueness.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to brainwash myself to consider that the common sensical aspect of myself that would regard all beings as equal was too ‘naïve’ according to the character I was busy building as myself. Which is part of how in this world system, any being that portrays actual virtues that support Life is reduced to being  ‘uncool’ or ‘unfit’ within society, ending up bullied, destroyed, ostracized or simply relegated to ‘less than zero’ because of not participating in the personality contest that we’ve become as our society – thus in this, I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that I could in one way or another be a ‘successful character’ in society while still holding some form of virtue, not realizing that the people that get to such positions of power have obviously been promoted for the sense of liberation through becoming an overtly ‘emotional’ people that represent these ideals that worked as a carrot on a stick for the rest of humanity, wherein we would aspire to somehow ‘equate’ them in one way or another, not realizing that in dong so, we would simply continue consuming what’s being sold as this flag of freedom and expression, never really even questioning why there was this strong desire to ‘free from oppression’ in the first place.

 

I forgive myself that accepted and allowed myself to not see that in this desire to ‘get free’ and ‘be expressive,’ I only consumed characters that became a process of personality-cultivation wherein the focus then was only on me, my wants, needs, desires, experiences and essentially falling into the most basic form of mind control that is broadly promoted: care only about yourself and ‘fuck the rest of the world,’ never realizing that such blatant act of righteousness was only a spiteful mode that perpetuates the characters we’ve become as ‘rebellious acts’ within society without any form of understanding of how this reality thrives on wars and antagonism and even more so, how it is only through each one of us reducing the totality of who we are to mere characters that we can ‘fight’ against each other, and that this is thus the aspect to debunk at all times: how we have diminished ourselves to a set of preferences likes, fascinations as well as dislikes, oppositions, rebellion acts toward ourselves and who we have accepted and allowed ourselves to become as the mind.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to imprint this strong desire to ‘be free’ through opposition, through shocking others, through ‘breaking the norm’ in whichever way this could be one – and in doing so, being more open to ‘escapism’ as a way to ‘be free an expressive’ which meant either becoming ‘insane’ or a drug addict – both representing the ‘anomalies’ that I sought to become in order to ‘spite the system’ as the basic personalities that I grew up listening to and acquiring basic beliefs upon life from.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to take people’s words as ‘truth’ whenever they supported this belief of ‘rising up’ and opposing the system, fooling the system, breaking the laws, rage against the machine and essentially learning how to ‘hate’ through becoming a personality that would seek at the end of the day only to create a constant point of conflict out of everything in this world, focusing on criticizing, judging and opposing everything and everyone to remain only within a secluded state of inconformity, dissatisfaction, isolation and anger within powerlessness to ‘change this world.’ Perfect mind control installed.

 

I realize that the cultivation of these ‘freedom characters’ must be understood as the actual mind-control tool that we install within ourselves from the entry of ‘entertainment’ and ‘preferences’  – such as music in my case for example – wherein all I ended up becoming was this apparent ‘misunderstood person that was ‘unfit’ to society’ without realizing that it was all an entire character that I copied from all the people that I had watched on my TV screen and that I had deliberately become fond of as a representation of that which pointed out ‘freedom’ and survival within the system ( because artists = fame and fortune)  hence believing that I could make it in this world by becoming this antagonistic character while being in the system and feeding off from it, which is what I have discussed in previous posts of theorizing about change and revolution in society, and earning good money out doing so within the intellectual world.

 

I commit myself to debunk any sense of respect that I held toward particular characters in my reality that I kept as ‘real’ and ‘genuine’ because none of them in fact supported a living consideration of human beings as equals, but only stood just as another personality-cultivation that lead nowhere but to where most of them are, which is sunk in drugs, body deterioration, financial problems and some others managing to stay afloat within the same system that enables any form of human degradation to be sold/ packaged and fed to the masses like lollipops.

 

I commit myself to integrate the actual understanding of Freedom as the unconditional support that we can all Agree to give to each other as money to live and within this, for once and for all, stop all cultivation of personalities and instead, educate ourselves to cultivate the actual Life within each other that we have obstructed with all types of media-characters we’ve become, and within this, finally realize to what extent we’ve made of our reality a theatrical show only for the sake of entertaining our mind. Thus within this redeeming ourselves through directing our lives to Support each other as Equals, as physical beings that are able to live, express and ‘be free’ when everyone is equally realized within this basic consideration of who we are as life as physical beings that can enjoy life while simply breathing and establishing relationships of Self Support instead of character-relationships that have lead our world to the current state we’re living in.

 

Time to Open our Eyes and realize that there has been no actual promotion of Self Respect in the mainstream media at all, and that any ‘good intentions’ only paved the way to hell, to protect individual personas that stood as the example of what it is to be a walking paradox when it comes to having brilliant thoughts about the world, humanity, life in general But  still serving one single god: Mind cultivation and Money – but not Life.

This will continue –

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222. Insanity as Libertinage

Are our preferences and personalities a free willed/ free choice act?

What we’re currently witnessing as all things ‘rebellious’ now being absolutely ‘In’ and ‘cool’ is the product of massive brainmediawashing that has lead toward a more ‘open and free’ society, apparently, with lots of free choice and free will and money to spend on buying all of that, of course. This being lead by head-spears of the world system that we’ve come to easily glorify as artists/actors and any other media-person that we’ll end up knowing have severe ‘mental problems’ and take this or that medication.  What I’ll describe here is how something that was part of a ‘greater scheme’ to expand society’s morality to a point of non-morality which meant a similar thing to ‘free market’ speaking in economic terms, came to be part of what I had also adopted as ‘part of my personality’ with preferences/ fascinations or anything else I could entertain myself with, not realizing that what I was witnessing through the screen of my TV was a deliberate act to indoctrinate people to remain as programmable as possible to focus on that which would become the greatest diversion tactic ever promoted in a massive global scale: entertainment industry – and in my case, music and to be specific what became labeled as ‘pop culture’ no matter what music genre you would listen to.

 

The after effects of this open promotion of the ‘push boundaries,’ go ‘insane,’ be wild, be outrageous, just do it characters was both an consequential outflow of the point we’re facing as humanity that have longed for any form of evolution for too long with no result at all – obviously – while portraying that ‘chaos’ within arts and music – but really within everything and everyone, all people that grew up with a sense of this outrageous fame-and-fortune advertised as freedom, becoming the new standard of aspirations for the new generations. But it happens to be that,  taking drugs and a world that was kept ‘secret’ or as a hidden ‘known fact’ went mainstream, which is then not something new but again, I can definitely witness some serious ‘upgrade’ from the type of music videos I watched in the 90’s and all these still underground scenes like raves to what is going on now, wherein you don’t require to hide the fact that you’re on some sort of medication, taking illegal drugs and using them in any regular party, no need to create any rave-like paraphernalia any more.

 

All of this is pointing out toward a massive dumbification and sedation of young generations that are supposed to be the ‘future of our world.’ It is seriously a point to be concerned with, I don’t have TV at the moment because a lightning killed it –lol – but if you have the opportunity to watch MTV just take a look at what kids are watching, because I was one of those kids that age 7 was already watching stuff that defined a Lot of what I became, the decisions I made, what I ‘thought’ myself to be and what I believed were my ‘true desires’ which were not, they were just an outflow of picturing myself as an artist/ rockstar like person or at least a writer that would be part of the entourage, handing out with musicians, which is what I sort of did for a while – and yes if you watch the move ‘almost famous,’ that was kind of part of my dream as well.  Was there any free will or free choice in this? No, I thought I had so by ‘choosing’ to watch this but it’s really not so when I only had a limited amount of channels and a limited desire to go beyond anything that I could fetch on my TV for years. It is irrelevant at this stage to only see the TV as the main problem, really,  one way or another, no matter what I would watch, I would have to face the same point of brainwashing just by being part of this society, since people in our reality seem to be ‘coming out of the screen’ nowadays, and that’s what shocked me the most or at least it became more and more obvious in the past decade.

 

 

 

What do we have then for the topic here? Making suicide, insanity, mental instability and outrageous acts a normal thing for your regular person. Was it really so? I got my perspective on that and as anything in this world, there are juicy interests behind. All in the name of ‘free entertainment that oozed libertinage.’ So this is where we’re headed, but let’s see how I got into this whole thing in quite a well masked way believing that I was somehow ‘being different’ than the rest of the world – lol.

 

In the previous post I walked some early memories related to my first encounter with the concepts pointi7ng out insanity/ craziness – this was from as far as I could remember till age 7. I explained about anger / temper tantrums and how that 1was linked to me being seemingly crazy – which was just a word that I would hear and got used to linking it to this outrageous behavior that I concluded, was mostly a way to instigate conflict and antagonism toward my mother as the representation of the authority in my world. 

 

Now, as a side note: This is an important aspect to consider within anyone reading these series. This is an exploration of how I shaped the meaning of the word crazy/insane based on what I would do/ live out in my life and would end up being called ‘crazy’ for doing that – really, all based on becoming a character that could constantly trigger some reaction within others, mostly, for the sake of my own benefit as in having the power to make others react. Hence it is not the actual full psychological meaning of it that would dimply an actual requirement for a mental treatment of sorts – even if I will explain later on how someone I met became all possible disorders by his own ability to tell stories that he knew the psychiatrist would be willing to play-along with for the sake of psychiatrist selling him drugs, parents being ‘happy’ for having their son ‘on treatment’ and this guy being ‘happy’ for getting the drugs he wanted on a legal manner. That’ll come in posts later on.

 

veruca salt-  seether

 

For now I will continue with the following years  which I’ll identify from 7 – 14 and my relationship to craziness – and all I can see is more deliberate acts and attitudes that would instigate any minute reaction from people around me, it became part of the entertainment, yes, but also the introduction to media. With having the platform of ‘me being crazy’/ called crazy according to my parents and already having built this antagonism and deliberate acts of ‘random madness’ you know, the ‘nice crazy’ wherein you just frolic around and do nonsense and I would get called crazy. Obviously this is the ‘nice story’ told by me as the mind that had built this story so nicely to justify my character, hence I am over generalizing on the ‘crazy’ point, but that’s mostly the point within this all, how I built it myself, not really about ‘my  mother’ or father per se.

 

Well, I found a similar expression later on when watching MTV, and watching Kurt Cobain just running around or any other rockstar of that time doing ‘random acts of madness’ – lol.  I mean, it’s hard to not look into how I conditioned myself to be all ‘rebellious’ and breaking the norms if all I would watch were these people on MTV acting all ‘weird,’ with deliriums of grandeur, trashing backstage places, drinking, getting high, going ‘crazy’ on stage and me just wondering Wow how come there’s not people like THEM around me? lol – this was when I was 7 years old and on, obviously feeding that type of behavior at home with my particular  family-situation – which is no different to any other ‘family situation’ I must stay – made me into a ‘rebellious act’ of sorts, justified by my father because he had been a ‘musician’ on his own way – much mellower lol – but still he supported my ambitions to become learn how to play the guitar, and that went on for a while. But the truth is, the most I liked about music was not really playing it, but the whole attitude. And why’s that: freedom and expression – which are the points I linked to Craziness/ insanity, linked to my fascination and almost devotion for music, again linked to that sense of freedom, expression and insanity – lol as I wrote insanity the thought of Gene Simmons came to mind, figure that out. 

 

Courtney Love - Violet

 

 

As I write all of this it is impossible to not see the face of people like Courtney Love and many other ‘riot girls’ that I grew up watching and that I have for sure written about  Day 24: Supervixen and Day 60: Femme Fatale « but I also obviously had all these males on the screen just going being overtly ‘expressive’ but also being seemingly ‘crazy looking’ or just ‘plain crazy’ See the action would unfold as follows: I would be sitting on the couch watching MTV doing homework or just watching TV and people would walk by the TV room – which almost became my room – and they would take a look at what I was watching and would simply stare at the screen, then look back at me with this face of utter disgust like ‘do you like watching this?’  and so I would nod my head happily because hey, they liked all that ‘mellow’ music, I was into something real ‘badass’ and so it made me special to like crazy people on the TV Screen. They would just make a sign with their finger, making circles around their ear as in saying ‘you are fucking crazy.’ Which would then fuel up my desires to actually Be so, because: hey this is making Me different from THEM, awesome! Let’s keep pushing the envelope. Obviously I didn’t say the last phrase but just to place into context how I would go escalating my fascinations, just because I knew that my sisters would never be able to ‘match’ this, nor was it common for a girl liking this metal and before that grungy music, which also later on became interests that lead me to aspire relationships with older people into this world, which then became a reality, but that’s another story.

 

Marilyn Manson Tourniquete

 

It becomes almost impossible not to point out the person that caused the most shock within me turning into a fascination later on, which was Marilyn Manson and the moment I watched that video Tourniquete in 97, which was about the same time that I got to now of yet another suicide – after I had been aware of Kurt Cobain’s suicide in 94 and it seemed like a ‘common thing’ among artists after I had known of other people committing suicide or ending up dead by overdose – this time it was Michael Hutchence’s death by autoerotic asphyxiation, which obviously to me was like a ‘say whaaaat?’ at that time, I simply did not get it until much later… and then other deaths followed like Lane Staley from Alice in Chains, drug overdose and various other ‘drug stories’ that would go on as if within the art/music scene, being on drugs was the same as ‘going to school’ for a regular person in this world. Well, they all ended up like a hero of sorts, so to me it was like ‘ok people like these people that committed suicide, wtf – but, oh well they were too sad about the world, okay.’ Which is a proof of how I was already beginning to create an ‘appropriate’ link of insanity + drugs = acceptance in society, expression, ultimate stardom and then a rushed death, which as any human being became another ‘fascination’ due to the fear that we actually have toward it.

 

There were other points I later on started becoming aware of like serial killers and demonic possessions on the discovery channel, which also ‘fascinated me’ for the actual level of ‘I can’t believe it’ that they produced within me. Then I became aware of people like Timothy McVeigh – the ‘American Domestic Terrorist’ –  for some reason it stuck within me,  probably because it was my first understanding of what a terrorist attack was. I mean I had heard parents say ‘wars were perpetrated by fucking crazy people’ but till then I didn’t know that people would act alone and deliberately kill or bomb entire buildings and have a name for that: terrorism. Well duh, how come we have become so ‘fascinated’ with serial killers =  they represent a great level of fear for the actions that your neighbor next door could actually be scheming out against you/ the community in their own homes. Lots of fear – perfect mass control. What have we done as society? We’ve turned it into a Fascination and dare I say even a marketing point without even then really looking at what the fuck we are actually worshiping:  Please read the entire series:

Day 64: International Crime Research: Serial Killers, Mass Murderers and Sociopaths Part 1

 

I say marketing because there are these exhibitions of serial killers that get a LOT of visits = lots of cash simply because of telling you all the story of ‘the most famous serial killers,’ without having a clue of how it all actually worked and how it was true that most of the time, the killers would not be aware because it was all a product of Demonic Possessions – all explained by Mykey in the series: Demons in the Afterlife.

 

What’s more interesting within this all is that I had never a real encounter/ contact with an actual crazy person or any form of severely deranged person such as a serial killer or anything like that, nor someone that had actually been declared crazy and locked up in a mental hospital. I only created a ‘fascination’ toward it because of the fear that I initially experienced about it, not being able to ‘understand’ people’s behavior and what could lead them all to take themselves to the verge of self destruction in all possible ways, yet seen as ‘fun’ and acceptable in society. Same with mass murders,  self-condemning themselves to the electric chair and these demon possess people – all of it just brewed into my definition of insanity that became a fascination, a desire to understand it or even live it out to see ‘what it was like’ at last, because… well the aspect of an artist/ musician being considered as ‘eccentric’ and ‘special’ lead me to want to be just like them and not having to ‘behave’ like everyone else in society – or around my world to be precise – and yes, guess what? Any initial desires I had to study or become someone quite active within the world system vanished over time. Why would that be? Was I getting too immersed in the realm of the ‘intangible’ as music, arts and all that nice intellectual atmosphere?  Yes. 

 

 

What can I conclude from this

 

1. Being rebellious, daring, aloof, expressive, transgressive, and essentially high on drugs was what everyone was deeming as ‘cool’ in our society. Fascinating, isn’t it? I grew up with that – what shaped my view of the world/ people – was it really Me? No, of course not. It was MTV mostly at that time in my life, because I had really no ‘friends’ that were into it and my ‘best friends’ at the time were two girls that I am thankful got me into playing games and actually being outside and away from the TV Screen. But whenever I was not with them, I was just imprinting all these characters in an almost obsessive manner, in a non-stop manner. Everything that I had become before beginning this process was just a self-cooked version of all of this information into my own mix of ‘outrageous goodness,’ I was ‘hitting my dreams’ by the time I got to Desteni, it was a ‘tough decision’ to give it all up for a moment, but eventually I knew I had to do it. I would have definitely regretted not doing so out of fear of losing my ‘carefully lengthy built personality,’ because I was quite specific and so I ensured I would take all the bits I liked from people and made them ‘my own,’ acting like them, being like them, deliberately. I thought it was a ‘free willed’ act, lol – not really as we can see, all part of the same drill leading to remain within the frameworks of this current world-system, screaming out fears but never doing anything about it.

 

2. The definition that I held of ‘crazy’ was simply another act linked to ‘freedom’ and any other form of ‘anti-establishment’ that I perceived in all these madness acts by artists, which meant a ‘revolutionary act’ that I later on got to know of had been brewing ever since, according to pop culture, Elvis had rocked his bottom in suggestive ways on TV and had gotten banned for that. I later on grew up watching people throwing themselves over drum sets, drinking, vomiting, being almost naked, taking tampons off on stage and anything else that I could ‘swallow’ within all the pages of magazines wherein I learned what being a ‘rockstar’ meant – lol, I obviously wanted to tag along, which became a fascination out of the sense of freedom these people represented – lot of drug names were given, but I wasn’t really paying attention to that. At that time, it was all about the words, behavior, the image, the style, the music, lyrics, music videos, shocking onstage performances, being absolutely wasted as the ultimate cool, flipping the finger toward the government and organizing ‘freedom concerts.’ This is what was ‘into’ then as well, a delirious sense of ‘freedom’ as an energetic experience that I became hooked on, wanting to enact it all later on in my real life.

Now, you catch the drift?

….. this will continue with Self Forgiveness and Self Correction to see how everything that I deemed as ‘my preferences/ my fascinations’ were only a product of another mass-brainwashing campaign that I took part of, seeking to ‘escape the system’ and never even ‘bother’ to do some real changes in this world, and that’s a fact as I lived that out for quite a while, pursuing my ‘lifestyle’ mimicking what I had been ‘educated’ with on TV throughout late childhood and teenage years.

 

My suggestion is to observe your own life in relation to media, see what types of preferences you had, your ‘personal idols,’ what did they represent to you that you were not able to live out yourself, if you were exposed to some role model in your early days, then see where you stand toward that particular person nowadays. I see it is vital to understand that we’ve never really made a single choice by ourselves and that it is thus of utmost importance to debunk our entire ego, as we never know what we might still be ‘holding on to’ which is linked to just another massive mechanism we’ve accepted and allowed ourselves to be conditioned by without seemingly ‘knowing’ so, but certainly still defining ‘who we are’ as a point of limitation, which is a problem and we’ll walk the solutions in posts to come.

 

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125. An Alternative Pop Culture Child: raised by MTV

 

 

After listening to the interview Life Review – Parent Killed by Child and realizing what I was exposed to in terms of media when I was growing up, I can see how the current state of society is a direct mirror of what we have sown. I would feel ‘proud’ of myself for liking things that were not usual for a kid yet were highly charged with a sense of rebellion that I mistook for freedom. And this escapism becomes another way to get high without any drugs. That escapism as an ‘alternative lifestyle’ that I pursued was founded upon realizing the many things that were apparently fucked up in our lives – however, no one really had a clue other than blow the absurdity out of proportion, which became part of the every day influences I grew up with when watching early on Latin American MTV, which was pretty hardcore for a girl 7 years old to watch. I realized that I was making myself ‘strong’ by handling a certain type of music, by being fascinated by visuals that would usually seem morbid and disturbing to others, and this became part of my 6 hours that I would spend in front of the TV – from the time I’d get from school till  I would go to bed. I mean, how can this be ignored in my formative years? I grew up being the perfect A student that would make the homework sitting on a couch in front of the TV listening to Nirvana, Stone Temple Pilots and shows like Head Banger’s ball from which I certainly created my epic stereotype of male that I would certainly fall for flat on my face for. It was all just programming.

 

However the experience that I would get from watching music videos all the time – I was literally in a Non-Stop mode watching music videos. At that time I would not play, it was just going to school and being home with ‘my MTV’ while kids my age were most certainly watching cartoons. I’ve taken a form of ‘pride’ on that, but it also lead me to ‘grow up’ much faster for I was exposed to sexual content that at that time – almost holy fucking 18 years ago – the hottest thing you’d watch was Madonna’s Erotica or Justify My Love- and then came the hardcore stuff like the legendary banned ‘Smack my bitch up’ by Prodigy. Now, I never talked about this obviously – In SRA a couple of years ago I even walked an entire music video that seemed to define my entire visual aspect of sexual relationshipsLakini’s  Juice by the band Live and what I’m aiming at there is how we as kids get exposed to all type of things that we have to ‘kind of make our minds about it.’ I deliberately made me apparently an ‘open minded’ person through the visual contents I’d feed myself with on a daily basis – and hearing to songs like All Day I Dream About Sex and simply linking this entire sexually charged type of content with the world of rockstars, drugs, partying as the ‘alternative way of living’ became like ‘my dream’ to live up to. Obviously, the dream I was simply being presented as ‘the way to go/ follow through’ if I wanted to be ‘as free’ as such rockstars looked at that time – do not ask how they are or what they’ve done with their lives almost 20 years later….

 

And this is how we program ourselves, this is what I wanted to get to because I see that I programmed myself with such an intensity throughout the years from 7 till let’s say 14 with constant literal obsession and fascination for music videos that I cannot possibly make as if ‘I am done with that,’ No way – I still find myself with an open mound hearing people that changed my way of looking at life and reality even if I didn’t consider it as such at the time – and this is where Marilyn Manson comes in, wherein I was deeply caught in the ‘I want to believe in God’ aspect because of my spiritualist beliefs of god, brotherhoods, channels and ‘protection’ while having people like Manson simply shaking the foundation of morality with another show. Yes, in the end it’s all shows, but the point here is how I built myself according to such show and to what extent the good feeling experience when watching someone playing music on stage from that time still gives me an energetic experience that indicates the point is not yet walked – and this is because it’s one of those things that one would rather just not talk about because it actually still fascinates me, which I found interesting how many other points I can see I’ve walked an actual point until there is no further reactions, but when it comes to my relationship with music years ago and the visual aspect of it all – which was certainly part of the non-conscious influence for me to become an artist/ pursue an artistic career – well… now that I look at it

 

When I was a child I wouldn’t play the regular seek and hide games, we would play to be  ‘stars’ wherein me and my sisters would sing songs from our favorite artists. Our parents would record the whole thing and there you go, several tapes with us dancing and singing around in flamboyant clothes – at least in my case, lol. And so the imprint of the ‘who do you want to be when you grow up’ even at that age, as early as 3 years old I wanted to be an artist/ singer/ musician, which is no different to what other million kids want to be and become, really.

So, what happens when you have millions of kids growing up with this idea and desire to ‘become famous’ to ‘hit the jackpot’ and suddenly being impulsed to be ‘the next great thing’? You have a perfect world enter-tamed by an industry that is called ‘Music Industry’  wherein we all believed ourselves to be a bunch of rebels for liking music, bashing ‘mainstream pop culture’ while digging further into ways to further separate ourselves from ‘the herd,’ which is how subcultures are born and upgraded tastes in literature, films, music and any other human expression that we can consider as ‘rad’ which is what contemporary art is all about, an absurd look into society.

 

I would mostly get fascinated by any and all stereotypes of people that would mean revolution, rebellion, antagonism, opposition, ridicule and satire of our world. I can say that who I am became the mix of the words and strength that  I attempted to become as a force that could antagonize the entire ‘mainstream world’ in an apparent defense for life, but it was never really life, it was just glorifying a more apparently ‘free’ type of lifestyle wherein the cookie-cutter archetypes were busy being eaten by  the need to upgrade an entire generation of people that has simply left a space for even more ‘racy’ things to watch everyday. I was amazed when I got an explanation of what Anime is and portrays as I had no idea such things existed –  ‘hard core soft porn’ for kids made cartoon and that’s what your kid watches while you have to go to work to make a living, or even worse when you rather talk with friends on the phone while leaving kids in front of the TV, not knowing what the hell they are in fact imprinting and absorbing like a sponge from the TV.

 

It is not a mystery that this is how I got to learn English: all blame it on MTV and I can even remember asking my teachers about translating lyrics from songs like Seether by Veruca Salt, which was also a shocking video for a 7 year old, seeing women kissing, dogs eating food from open dolls and a general world of the bizarre music archive of the middle of the 90’s. If we dare to look at MTV now, you got programs talking about teenagers getting pregnant, teenagers trying to live the lives of rich and famous, teenagers working in reality tv shows that have become the new soap operas that get the most rating according to the level of stupidity that can be captured in a camera. This goes along with the multiple ‘houses of the famous people’ that you get to see, teenagers having boob and lip jobs, people being obsessed with self-image, dating or any other apparent ‘typical teenager problem,’ without understanding how kids grow up with such influence and simply copy the patterns of what ‘sells well’ which includes a sexually-oriented self-image/ obsession with sex, relationships, dramatic reactions and emotional tantrums that seem to get the most condescendence from people – an exorbitant injection of desire for power as the usual sex, drugs and rock and roll which becomes the holy religion of an entire generation that grew up, just like me: watching MTV and desiring to have that type of lifestyle.

 

Now,  the ‘boom’ became even more when cable TV became a normal thing in most of the countries also around 96/ 97 when the internet started becoming an actual ‘boom’ here in Latin America. It’s fascinating to see how I have been ‘present’ throughout those changes and have also walked the entire point of relationships with people online becoming nothing else but perfect mindfucks of idealized versions of what flesh and bone communication can be about. People that you spend hours talking to but will never meet, they know a lot about you just the same way that they can read a book. And that’s it, our sickly sweet accepted and allowed ‘popular culture’ that has become the breeding ground for anything that you can point out as a ‘problem’ in kids age 7 and onward up until 21 years old, when everything you have absorbed, you simply start playing out as ‘who you are,’ getting heavily lost within it all if no support or actual communication about the actual nature and starting point of everything we have consumed ourselves with, which in my case was music and music videos.

 

So, I could go on and on writing about this, because I was literally training myself to be able to write reviews for music albums and be an ‘alternative music encyclopedia’ when ‘I grow up,’ yet I didn’t do it and instead even pursued my own ‘artistic career’ in the realm of plastic arts – in the end, I did walk my own accepted and allowed script of ‘becoming an artist.’ And I see how music in my case was the perfect trap that I could have certainly remained easily duped by for a long time, if it wasn’t about me taking it on as part of my process to actually see how I had created this entire ‘Escapist/Rebellious’ personality when and while listening to music, the very idea of going to a concert, the compulsory consumerism toward music magazines and cd’s – at that time. All of it part of my main distraction that I would sometimes mix with watching TV series and CNN later on, always smelling that ‘there was something profoundly wrong’ but not being able to point it out with my finger, and when listening to musicians speak many of them became my inspiration to speak up as well, but I just didn’t know where or how to do so. Thus I accepted the closest reference I had of ‘challenging the accepted norms’ and I know that I have been some type of ‘dissident’ my whole life, yet being quite profoundly fond of the rather disturbing and morally-challenging type of stuff, which entails one single thing:  there was a deep sense of gratification with it, as I would not consider at all a ‘better world’ in that moment. I was essentially giving myself up to live a life of opposition, rebellion and antagonism toward ‘the establishment’ because after all, that’s all I learned from musicians challenging the lives of people – all really just another type of soup to give to the necessary opposition within a system, to really make it all look as if we had any say within our lives, to really make it look as if we could choose what is ‘best for every one’ – yet holding on to our personal fetishism that we all know exists because we got a reference to it in one way or another.

 

Thus the influence on kids from the media and being the brewing ground for perfect ‘disobedient beings’ is being paid for by you and me on the current programming we get on Media. Hence there is No Real Opposition at all, it’s just another show and façade that we believed was ‘superior’ in our minds, just for the shock value it represents – but that’s about it. I would often become disappointed of my so-called ‘heroes’ when and while I was going through puberty and seeing them all essentially decay, subsumed by their own wishes to rebel and ending up consumed by the drugs, alcohol and unsettling type of lifestyle they end up living, which is of people now in their 40’s and 50’s that I used to admire almost 20 years ago, while being a kid.

 

Now, what do I want for kids in this world? Certainly not to be exposed to all types of stuff and toys in and of the world without being able to communicate effectively what a ‘character role-playing’ this world within and as fun and games actually is. I mean, just observe hide and seek, the entire adrenaline rush coming from the actual fear of being caught hiding, I would sometimes almost pee my pants for that, as well as being locked up in places just to make a moment of fun for others trying to make me believe of magic witch tricks that I simply kept being fascinated to know about while growing up I mean, did anyone really ever consider to what extent we become that which we program ourselves with in our immediate environment? This is actually quite a cool point, as it reveals how it’s not so much about what stuff you may watch on tv, but the communication you may have or not have with your parents.

 

Parenting is the most important job in the world at the moment and it is the point wherein we are lacking heaps of self-support to be walked to in self-agreement, wherein you and I can ensure that we bring children into this world that Can discern between reality and fantasy, that can discern between role-playing games with costumes and every day living reality wherein self-responsibility cannot ever really be avoided for life, but instead develop a physical relationship to ‘playing’ instead of just worshipping those that instigate the type of characters like ‘follow your dreams, don’t give up  – and what did I became?  A very fond girl of just cultivating my own ‘alternative lifestyle dream’ as the result of having decided to give up on this world and as such, only seeking to ‘make most of it.’ I became deliberately evasive to add fuel to my ‘tortured soul’ type of personality – and through this old, music was the soundtrack, I certainly would not want a child to do as I did, as that can certainly lead you to be the perfect drone on Earth, an aloof individual essentially just waiting to die and get some fun in the meantime.

 

The insanity that we have blamed the media for what we have become is really only our reflection. And at all times, the support of a parent in order to assess the contents, events, experiences that one will handle through life must be walked by the hand of the parent, as it is clear how the greatest point missed within this is the education that parents and anyone that is aiming at being a parent must consider as a basic point of support to ourselves as children.

 

Investigate Desteni  and the Desteni I Process wherein we walk a process of Self-Forgiveness to realize How we can practically become beings that always do/ say / think what is best for all life. Check out Neighborism to walk a living process to stop the old ways in order for the new to emerge.

Desteni Forum to support yourself to identify the characters and copycats we’ve reduced ourselves to be and become and this way, learn how to live.

Equal Money System: we won’t require to accumulate people being fascinated with ‘being famous’ as all will act and live according to that which can ensure a legal life of over-excitement and rebellion. Time to consider a new way of living out of the usual schemes we have secluded ourselves in within our little bubbles of consumerism and pursuit of happiness.

 

A Life in Equality is yet to be known on Earth.We are walking the process as it.

7 Year Journey to Life is the key to step out of this brainwashing machine we have locked up ourselves into.

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Interview that allowed me to open up this point among other considerations in our current world:

 

Blogs that review the Bizarre Oddity we have become:

 

“Thus, for most part – what defines a MAIN character/personality is all the sub-characters/personalities that is accumulated within it throughout one’s life, as the MAIN character/personality’s process of evolution, in developing/constructing/manifesting ways in which it can evolve as ensuring its survival and eventual materialization of the origin as the purpose of its existence: the want, need and desire that activated it in the first place.” – Sunette Spies


Day 21: Absorbing Music Media as a Child

A turning point in my life was getting cable TV when I was 7 years old. A window opened up toward a world that I had only been exposed in a light manner to, which was idolizing music artists from as early as age 3 and making this my way of having fun when it came to dancing and singing.  So when I was 7  I chose a form of entertainment that was not the average child-treat,  it was watching music videos and exposing myself to all of these images and music that ‘truly fascinated me’ at the time – i n other words, I would be hypnotized in front of the TV.

 

I decided to open up this point as I heard that Adam Yauch is dead, and he happened to be one of those men that I first realized I ‘liked’ at that age just by mere presentation. Later on following the Beastie’s career and perceiving him as the ‘serious’ Beastie Boy, being a Buddhist, supporting activism like ‘Free Tibet’ and probably responsible for presenting the more ‘humane’ side to the media from the band, as well as being a music video director and the author of that rocking bass riff on Sabotage which is one of the songs that first drove me nuts as a child. This type of ‘sensitivity’ and humanitarian side within artists going for activism was an extra point I wanted to do, as I also waned to ‘do good’ but never knew how, and if if hadn’t been for Desteni, I would have mostly become a Zen Buddhism sucker myself supporting some charity programs on the way – if possible.

So, I’ll use that as a reference to build also ideas about ‘who I want to be’ in the future, which due to my extensive exposure to music and videos, I knew it had to do something with music– I went from wanting to be a musician, to a music journalist, a writer then a visual artist.

“I commit myself to demonstrate how the greed of self-interest forms the foundation of the philosophy of the soul. “ Bernard Poolman

 

I wanted to be as ‘free’ as I perceived people on TV/ music industry which is obviously linked to them having a life in a million with a million in their pocket,  where all fame and glory is bursting at their feet. I could ‘sense’ the power that they would ooze when being performing. Music was always ‘the point’ within my life wherein I said many times ‘music saved my life’ just because for many years I did not care about anything o anyone other than listening to music, playing guitar and being immersed in my watercolor world, which smells like the perfect teen spirit that is brewing entire generations of ‘I don’t give a fuck about life’ in our reality, where everyone is just aiming to mimic the next greatest act in a furtive attempt to become famous in any way possible.

 

Therefore, I am proof of how anything that you get exposed to as child, you absorb and eventually end up molding yourself to achieve, according to the stereotypes that I would watch on TV, specifically musicians. So, the ‘music artist’ type of personality was developed at this early age – I grew up with MTV and I got exposed to so much bullshit that lead me to be more ‘open minded’ about life in general which was ‘cool’ from the sense that it allowed me to cope with ‘reality’ as our current culture with more ease, however I lead myself to want to ‘experience ‘that lifestyle’ as well.

 

Before I ever sought God or dedicated enough time to seek for the mysteries on life, I would spend my time being in la la land dreaming about music, about becoming an artist and profiling myself to achieve that type of lifestyle that I knew that was mostly impossible as a one in a million chance – but hey, it was all about the ‘attitude’ and having a ‘good time’ while dreaming about it.

 

An interview that really brought my feet back to the ground in the past weeks was Seeing the Good when only the Bad Prevails as it is about a musician that points out to change this world we have to stick to what must be done, and not what we like or would prefer to do at the moment. And that allowed me to also see how I had blamed myself for not being following too much in the artwork but being actually busy redefining ‘art’ as myself – therefore, no pressure as this is all about self-realization wherein I cannot possibly define me only as a single ‘tag’ in this world – hell no.

 

And so, this was the foundation of my ‘philosophy in life’ attempting to accumulate the most experiences for my own pleasure and benefit, getting closer to god in any way I could, even if this god meant watching endless hours of music videos absorbing the reality of such individuals that I simply wanted to live like as well. No wonder we have all kids wanting to be famous and artists nowadays, and or explicitly singing along to songs like wanting to be a millionaire and being rich girls,  it’s all directly proportional to the amount of media exposure you have.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to absorb anything that I would watch on MTV as a source of inspiration to ‘build my life upon,’ which means that I accepted and allowed the idea of being famous and recognized, along with having a great ‘attitude’ as a source of inspiration to ‘fulfill my dreams,’ which weren’t taking into consideration anything or anyone else but my own desires to be happy and ‘free’ within the idealized version of myself I would create from watching other artists as well.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that being a musician was ‘my dream’ and that I would be able to make a lot of money from ‘doing what I like,’ which is the type of thinking that has compromised ourselves to neglect the actual reality in this world wherein we have to do and direct ourselves to live/do/ act upon that which we might not necessarily ‘prefer’ or initially ‘enjoy’ doing – yet it is required to be done, otherwise I have realized that I cannot enjoy myself just ‘creating’ and ‘having a good time’ while knowing that a single other being in this world that doesn’t even have money to eat is wondering why the hell us people with money are doing nothing to support them.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create and follow dreams of fame and fortune when I was a child from watching artists, and considering that ‘this was an acceptable easy way to live,’ as I perceived that it would be easy to make money/ be famous from doing what you like, which is the type of thinking within this ‘dreamer’ personality that I followed when I decided to make an art career and making myself believe that ‘it would be easy to support myself in it’ – yet never actually walking the necessary steps and practical points to actually make a living out of it.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to idolize people that represented freedom, carelessness, humor and strength as confidence,  as an entire package of ‘fame’ and ‘fortune’ which is what I sought as well in order to experience myself as, because of how I would see them express themselves when giving interviews and talking about how ‘great’ their lives were, in this believing that it is perfectly ‘fine’ to want to fulfill my dreams of fame and fortune, because ‘everyone else is doing it! So why can’t we?’

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ‘make it okay’ to follow my mind into dreaming about fame and fortune, which were the first steps to only create a personalized continuous drive to ‘become someone in this world’ wherein I thought that making money and being famous and ‘having a place in the world’ would lead me to create some form of influence on others to ‘change the world.’

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ever believe that music could change the world, that a work of art could ‘change the world,’ I see and remember how I built and acquired these ideas from the endless times I would hear artists and their stories about being just regular people getting together to play, getting signed and ‘living out their dreams,’ which seemed fairly simple to myself and in that, pursuing a career wherein I could live out a similar life wherein you are not exactly in a regular job within the system, but still earning lots of money.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to ponder if I would have desired to be an artist or a musician or anything else for that matter if there was no money involved at all? My mind says yes, but I cannot trust it as that would come from an ingrained judgment toward making money out of my artwork so, not recommended to hear these thoughts wherein I essentially allowed my ‘career’ to become another attempt to escape the system.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to value artists as ‘more than everyone else in the world’ because of perceiving them as ‘fighters’ for what they wanted to be and become, and for being open minded and activists, which lead me to become aware of how there could be apparently some ‘effect’ within such fame-fortune positions to mitigate the problems in the world if/when reaching such status in the world, never knowing how this entire reality was set up in such a bright way to ensure that we would always fall for that which seemed like ‘sweet’ to live and experience ourselves in. In my case, the desire to be a musician, an artist became stronger the more I was preparing myself to eventually be part of this ‘artsy music’ world.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to develop the ideas and acceptances of ‘idolizing’ wherein I became infatuated with musicians and their lives, studying their lives and wanting to have some sort of ‘out of nowhere’ knock on my door to make me famous, just as some of them would tell about in their personal stories around music.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that because everyone dreamed of having all the money in the world, being ‘the best’ and doing anything possible to achieve that, I could also only focus on living up and aspire to become part of such ‘easy lifestyle’ wherein it seemed much easier to live out of creating art, making music or writing than anything else in this world, which is how I accepted and allowed myself to limit myself to only being a certain ‘idea’ that would then experience frustration and dissatisfaction when this ‘dream’ would seem like something beyond myself, which I deliberately ignored and still went for it, because of believing that I could somehow ‘find my way’ while being in it.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to disregard taking into consideration the practical steps that are required to participate within this world in a suitable position to create enough financial stability to then consider that I am actually ‘building my life,’ instead I allowed myself to use a career choice and preferences as a point that I followed with no practical considerations or regard toward actually supporting a point in this world that would benefit the whole and not only myself and my pursuit of happiness.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to make it ‘okay’ to aspire to be someone with ‘lots of money’ without ever regarding why are we even following and chasing after money, when in fact all that is here as myself can agree that the current relationships we have created as this entire world system, are Not benefitting everyone equally. So, we require to create the new standard wherein we finally understand that we can only continue living in this world if each one takes responsibility for one point within the world to benefit the whole, to correct the relationships of self-interest and self-glorification into actual reforms and changes within our starting point, ensuring that we live by the principle of what’s best for All as life in Equality.

 

I commit myself to educate myself and others about the actual conditions that are imprinted within a child at a tender age when being exposed to media without any practical considerations of what is it that is being promoted and the reasons behind the support toward such activities that support the ‘pursuit of happiness’ with no regard whatsoever to what this dream-seeking position supports in this world.

 

I commit myself to create a world wherein media is no longer driven by money/ profit and indoctrination to accept ‘wealth’ and ‘fame’ as the standards promoted from a very young age within a child, which are being the key factors that have ensured that all kids aim to ‘be famous’ and eventually ‘be on TV’ just because of how ‘being rich/ being wealthy’ has been associated with happiness, glory, bliss and the ultimate apparent fulfillment within a world system where money has become it all within a human being’s life. I realize that I must expose the fallacies we’ve been living by and make sure that no money is ever promoted as a ‘lifestyle’ in this world, but instead becomes the way to provide life in equality for all.

 

I commit myself to expose the brainwashing that children undergo by seemingly ‘innocent activities’ such as watching any regular entertainment on TV, wherein programs are being perfectly crafted to instill patterns of consumerism and hierarchical values that become part of the inherent acceptances within children, wherein someone that is on ‘TV’ is seen as a semi-god while seeing the rest of the world as ‘not as good as/ not good enough’ in comparison to the fictional reality of fame, fortune and apparent ‘freedom’ that is presented in bright photoshopped versions of what ‘life’ is supposed to be.

 

The only way that real entertainment will emerge is when there is no money behind it, no matter how ‘good’ artist’s intentions have been, there’s been no ‘change’ in the world coming from that, as this world requires an overall participation of each individual within the consideration that life can only exist in Equality if we ALL participate equally to create a world that is best for all.

 

 

2003

 

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‘Born Free’–Warfare on your MTV– Day 19

I watched this video by M.I.A Born Free when it came out almost two years ago after I had spent one year ‘out of the matrix’ and Lady Gaga was only a repeated image I would glance at magazines while paying for groceries at Pick & Pay and mainstream music was only background music for shopping. I didn’t write at the time about the experience that it was coming back into the world and finding videos like this one or the ‘Pursuit of Happiness’ of which I made a reference about in a vlog I made, simply because it seemed like the age of cynicism had arrived and ‘made cool for everyone.’


I was a music video sucker-fan – the 90’s era – so I grew up watching MTV at the time where desolated kids with whining grungy guitars, passive-aggressive style, shoe gazers and violent femmes taking the stage – then it got a bit more ‘pumped up’ when electronica and some other genres started emerging,  then I lost all interest on it and eventually stopped watching that. I mean, I’ve watched a great amount of videos as I spent like over 10 years of my life being really stuck at it, and I had not seen anything similar to M.I.A’s  ‘Born Free’ video – hence the  ‘special mention’ here. I must clarify I have been fairly disconnected about the ‘new stuff’ and video making and marketing lately, yet the stuff that I have seen lately is entirely driven by sex, big eyes, pink-pop plastic all over and zingy sounds that make you cringe out of the obvious repetition.


I am aware you could watch these images in any R-Rated movie or even PG-13 these days, I’m not really aware of the levels of violence they allow for a 13 year old now considering the video games they and younger kids play. However, the point is that such message/ level of violence for an intended MTV hit is rather chocking considering the various topics it depicts with the obvious title which is quite a cool way to mock the state of any country in this world wherein our constitutions claim ‘all men are created equal and free’ yet living the exact same opposite.


We are still living under tyrant systems that we have created, accepted and allowed as humanity, always ‘at war,’ and it seems to me that this piece of what could be labeled as motion shock art is the depiction of the same desensitizing process that has been ongoing as violence, war, abuse and national home-security policies are made part of your primetime regular cable TV programming.


See, the point to look at here is how this message might be interpreted by the viewer. To me within a ‘critical perspective,’  it is an allusion to the obvious stupidity that war represents wherein a group is targeted only by a particular skin color, religion, culture, haunting them down and waging war against them until all fall down – yes ‘Ring around the Rosie’ was not exactly a ‘bright’ theme for a nursery rhyme – yet the point is still being missed here for a real exposure than the obvious violence that war produces: M-O-N-E-Y.


M.I.A. seems to also just make videos and music for the sake of money – here’s another one of her videos Paper Planes which is a rather catchy tune where you can only hear the chorus with gun shots and cashier register sounds to find out what it’s all about while repeating  ‘All I wanna do is (afore mentioned sounds)  and Take your Money!’ Therefore, what’s missing here is the Actual important message which is: the acceptance of war as a way to regenerate economy = war is all about money and so is M.I.A. apparently.


Does the end justify the means?

Now, this writing is not to create the usual discord used in any criticism toward society – this is just dissecting a bit of our reality to do some critical thinking – out of our box – and realizing what the hell we are watching on TV and what the hell is most likely to become a ‘jingle’ in a child’s ear. It’s already enough for me having to see how difficult it is to trade some hide and seek game in order to stop having kids playing with toy guns pretending to kill each other. Now, watching such videos/ hearing the lyrics, it’s realizing that we are digging our own hole when it comes to the indoctrination that happens through TV – not to mention the entire industry dedicated to sell toys to children which is another topic in itself. This is about me placing myself as a 7 year old watching MTV but within the contemporary context wherein I would have probably grown a hard veneer to watch M.I.A’s video and accept it as ‘okay,’ just as I accepted as ‘okay’ any explicit sexual content in videos as well as any other implied or explicit depictions of self abuse, which eventually became my ‘visual culture’ while growing up.


What did I develop? yes, sir, some type of lugubrious fascination because hey, that was cool to watch and made me different, seemed to shock people and I wanted to stand out of the crowd so – why the hell not liking this and going for that which initially scared me, then embracing it as a part of ‘what I like’/ ‘who I am’ – more or less in the fashion of how you unite your enemy if you can’t fight against it. I could write pages about other videos that created an impact in a similar way and that are regular cultural clichés of what was eventually banned or seen at late night hours on MTV like Prodigy’s Smack my bitch up. I remember being quite astonished at seeing what was made a ‘music video,’ and I mean even skeletons having sex in the toilet of a club in the Chemical Brothers’ video Hey boy hey girl made a significant imprint within me and my conception about reality and ‘fun.’ Virtually any video that contained explicit allusions to sex, violence, or a bizarre mix of it was too shocking for my eyes because of being a child (!)  I eventually made myself ‘used to it,’ then forgetting about what had been once shocking or ‘unacceptable’ to portray in a music video: my morals were ‘expanded’ which is why these type of videos are being made acceptable – repeat: being made acceptable.


Now, when/ while watching such videos I had some fairly cool ‘grounds’ wherein I learned how to be a bit critical about it and just take it for what it is – but what about every other kid that may watch these videos nowadays and want to live out just what they see on their screen? What about watching some bizarre Lady Gaga video or M.I.A’s Born Free or singing along to Paper Planes along with the obvious sounds that are implying killing for money?

What I do see is that if people/ kids/ teenagers watch this video and again grow a hard veneer to be able to ‘handle it,’ in a few years time, snuff movies and public executions will probably become part of your regular MTV Hitlist and I am concerned about it – why? Because I was once that kid that was 7 years old and got exposed to stuff that made me miss  out my entire childhood – not to blame anyone, of course – it is a simple realization of becoming aware of what the hell is being accepted as ‘entertainment,’ while trying to be edgy/ controversial which is what sells very well nowadays.


Question is, who on Earth financed such video? It seems like a short film to me and not any regular Hype Williams type of green screen studio production – it took a lot of money and seems more like specific propaganda to, once again, make controversial juicy materials that can be equally appraised as masterpieces or plain terrorism.

I ask a simple question beyond the transgressive obvious attempt of the video: would it exist if Money was not a motivation – from all angles that you can view it – to make it/ produce it?


Are we accepting something something that is inherently depicting the obvious violence and abuse in this world as part of our edgy and cool controversial videos as that which we can  incorporate within our ‘visual culture’ and make it okay for us to just see it as some part of ‘human evolution’ to watch explicit sex, female objectification, expressing the desire for All the power while portraying semi-god self-portrayals with all the gold as the cultivation of greed and desire for money as the perfect heavenly realms where ‘beautiful women’ are all around?


If we really want to evolve as humanity, we have to stop supporting everything that is pointing out  to praise money, power, heavenly existences, war, violence and sex alike as mere ways to ‘escape from reality’ – which is what entertainment actually is –  and start looking at what the fuck is being allowed as your regular TV programming on a music channel.


There’s plenty of points to take on from here like movies, video games, public advertisement, TV commercials which can be an entire realm of indoctrination in itself for the visual/sound/motion effect it contains – as well as the rest of open source/ god’s will access anyone has to unimaginable content on the internet that I will probably end up coming as ‘too short’ to name only a few of it, I’m sure you can imagine it – picture your worst case scenario of finding a photo about in the internet and I’m almost certain that Google god will bring it up to you at the click of your left button.


I am not willing to accept this video as something revolutionary as it’s only what it is: part of an entire machinery of brainwashing that takes place in your regular music video channels that are forming the seemingly non-existent children that are currently being exposed to extreme levels of violence that become part of their every day screenings at home, eventually becoming the perfect enlisted soldiers for the army.

Pop Culture is the Doom of the Nation

For now there is a plethora of things to say about this – and this is just the beginning in terms of what we are accepting and allowing to be made ‘popular’ and part of ‘pop culture’ within our world and society.


This is not about being a puritan and coming from a moral perspective of what’s right or wrong,  but rather an opening to look at the unethical aspect that is being induced in all things entertainment – not to mention the so-called reality TV shows that are also another topic in itself when it comes to what sells today on regular people that spend several hours in front of their TV screens.  This is about finding out/ becoming aware of what is currently being integrated as images that are kept for a lifetime within a child’s mind. I can speak from my own experience about shocking stuff that I’d watch on TV and eventually became used to or even keen to watch – yet every time I glance through what’s being broadcasted or made popular, I see that the envelope is being deliberately pushed further and further and that’s where some critical questions must be asked: who/ what is behind this? Is it that we are the ones setting the new ‘targets of allowance’ every time to take our levels of excitement and entertainment a ‘notch up’?


I’ve tried not to react when watching such stuff within the criticism of me being a puritan, but every time that I see a little girl singing to an obvious song about hooking up with boys to have sex, it is my duty as a human being to strike a chat with them to get to know what they think about the song and if they have any idea of what the hell they are singing to.

We must stop considering the lascivious eyes that pay well for entertainment and start considering the ones that also have access to a remote control at the tips of their little fingers at home.

If we tolerate this, then your children will be next – Manic Street Preachers


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Watch the Fabrication of an ill-bred idea of ‘freedom’ that focuses on creating self-seeking individuals that pursue happiness wrapped with a glowing gold-like ribbon of  ‘free will’ to buy everything that you/ I ‘need’ to be ‘fitter, happier and more productive’ = Our society:

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